


What happened after the amazing reunion kiss in the office in The Kill List episode

by Rubyliz1981



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City, lesbian - Fandom
Genre: Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Lesbian Character, bernie wolfe fandom, holby city - Freeform, serena campbell fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2018-09-07 21:21:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 107
Words: 191,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8816623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubyliz1981/pseuds/Rubyliz1981
Summary: I wrote about their first week together between The Kill List and Parasite and now I have started writing from the evening of Parasite until the episode Hallelujah. I am trying to fill in all the bits we aren't seeing! :)I am now writing between the episodes of Hallelujah and The Nightmare Before Christmas, I hope you like it :)Writing the next week now after 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' including Berena Christmas, how I wanted it to go in my mind anyway :)Now writing the week between Just Get On With It and I Do, I Do, I Do :)Writing from the episode I Do, I Do, I Do until Aces High now, after Elinor's death, what we didn't see.Now writing the week between Aces High and Stick or Twist, I hope you like it :)Writing from the episode Stick or Twist until Daylight now, what we didn't see.Now writing from Daylight until Of Lions and Lambs Episode, hope you like it.Writing from Of Lions and Lambs episode until Losing Game now, what we didn't see.Rest of the story I have written away from the Holby storyline still reflecting Serena's grief but not the bullying storyline...





	1. Chapter 1

After Bernie had snapped the blind shut with her left hand shaking they carried on kissing each other deeply. Intense moans escaped from both of them at the same time. Suddenly Bernie broke away and looked over at the other window, blinds wide open. She took Serena's hand looking at her intensely and walked quickly over to them pulling the blinds down with a short, sharp snap leaving the room dark but they could still see each other and hear each others nervous breaths racing.

"Auntie Serena" they heard Jason whisper through the door. "Leave them for five more minutes mate" they then heard Fletch say to him. Bernie gently pushed Serena up against the wall they were standing by, she began kissing her deeply again moving gently to the right side of Serena's beautiful neck. God she smelled incredible, Bernie moved back up to hungrily kissing Serena's soft lips gently pushing her own body against her in the process. Serena gasped and then broke away a beautiful smile on her face staring into Bernie's dark eyes.

"Jason will be back in a minute" Serena whispered softly. "Yes of course" Bernie straightened her black shirt down and moved slowly away from Serena to her desk. Serena moved over to the blinds opening them to let the light back in. "Auntie Serena can I come in now?" she heard Jason say impatiently at the door. Bernie chuckled and Serena flashed her a flirty smile. "Yes Jason it's ok to come in now" Serena replied with a caring tone in her voice.

The door unlocked with a jolt and Jason cautiously entered the office his eyes scanning from Serena to Bernie to see what knowledge he could gather from when he had left them there to sort things out. Bernie was the first to move and walked closer to Jason asking gently if she could give him a hug. She knew Jason was not always comfortable with physical affection because of his Asperger's. Jason nodded with a beaming smile on his face, "Thank you so much for doing that Jason" Bernie gave him a squeeze, "I needed that push today and you really helped me". She pulled gently away and looked at him to see his reaction.

"So have you made up with each other now?" Jason asked turning to Serena. "Yes Jason we have, thank you". "That's good news because I'm staying with Fletch and Raf tonight to give you two some space and time by yourselves after being apart for so long". Serena's lips broke into a beaming smile and she flashed Bernie another beautiful flirty smile. "Is this ok with them? " she cautiously asked Jason. "It was their idea, they said we could have a boy's night as Fletch's daughter is at a sleepover so there is room for me to stay". "And you are fine with this arrangement Jason?" Serena asked him with such concern in her voice. "Yes I think I am Auntie Serena, I would like that".

He turned away and left the office abruptly. "You really don't have to come round to my house tonight, there's no pressure" Serena quickly said to Bernie who she could see had her face down searching for her bags. Serena certainly didn't want to rush anything after the day they had endured dancing around each other before finally having some sort of conversation and 'reunion'. This was far too precious and Serena quickly thought that maybe Bernie had things to do at home and it wasn't the right time for her to come round for the first time. Bernie flashed her own flirty smile at Serena and whispered "Just try and stop me, I just need to find my bag and sign off on a patient then I'm all yours". Serena smiled and felt her shoulders relax in relief, good this was going to happen and they were going to have some time to themselves without interruptions tonight.

Jason explained to them both that he would need to come home with them first to collect some things to stay over that night with Fletch and Raf. Serena again thought how kind it was of her favourite two colleagues to think of something so thoughtful and she smiled to herself thinking of the evening ahead. Bernie was soon back in the office having freshened up Serena thought. She looked all ready but sank down into her office chair accepting to wait for both Serena and Jason to be ready. "What about your car?" Serena suddenly said... "Do you want to leave it in the car park tonight?".

"I came into work this morning in a taxi" Bernie replied shyly. "My flight was late in last night so I decided to stay at the airport hotel and come straight into work this morning". Serena looked at her with concern in her eyes, "Are you sure you don't want to go home tonight? You must have things to do after being away and we can wait?". "Absolutely not, you and us sorting things out is my priority. It means everything to me" Bernie looked at her intensely.

Serena beamed at her from where she was standing, "Just give me a couple of minutes and we can leave" she said grabbing her bag and walking quickly along the busy corridor to a quieter bathroom not many people knew about. She let out a long deep breath she didn't realise she had been holding until she closed the bathroom door behind her quickly scanning the larger bathroom for anyone else that might be in there...

Good she was alone for a few minutes to catch her thoughts that were racing around her head without any control at all. How did she feel? What was going to happen? Was she ready for anything that may happen between her and Bernie tonight while they were alone in her house? She nodded firmly to herself, yes she felt ready, she knew she was hopelessly in love with Bernie Wolfe and she wanted to experience the next step of them being together even though she wasn't entirely sure of what might happen between them that evening.

Serena applied a fresh layer of her favourite lipstick and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eye make up could do with reapplying, she had put more on than usual this morning to feel her best for Bernie's return and during the day it had faded. She quickly coated her fine lashes with a mini mascara she kept in her bag and filled in her eye liner again. There, she looked and felt nicer now just a quick spritz of perfume to add and she would be out of there. Serena squirted some of her favourite perfume onto her neck and wrists turning to locate the door out of there at the same time.

She walked slowly this time back along the quieter corridor to the cosy office she shared with Bernie. It had seemed so empty and lonely while she had been away and now everything was fine again. Serena shivered to herself realising again how nervous she was.

Bernie stood up casually when Serena walked back into the office, she could smell Serena's perfume and smiled to herself that Serena must have put some more on in the toilet. "Are you ready?" Bernie asked her. "I thought I could treat you to a take away tonight and then perhaps take you out on a proper dinner date at the weekend?" Bernie finished speaking really quickly and Serena smiled at her, Bernie was nervous too. "I would love that thank you" Serena said back shyly, "Let's get out of here". Jason met them outside the Porter's area, he was ready to go as well so the three of them walked out into the car park noticing that the air had turned much cooler.

On the drive to Serena's house Jason chatted away about his day on the wards, Serena smiled thinking how happy he seemed and not anxious at all about spending the evening in a strange house to him and at the last minute as well. Serena was proud of how he was really trying to be open to changes and was really very caring despite sometimes finding it difficult to express. The drive didn't take long and soon they were pulling up into Serena's drive. Bernie had dropped her home once when Serena's car had been stolen and thought what a nice estate Serena lived on. She had never been inside her house though so this was new territory and she felt herself shaking with nerves.

Serena turned and smiled at her when the car had stopped. With the car doors locked, the three of them walked towards the front door making sure they had all of their bags with them. "Come on in and make yourself at home" Serena whispered shyly. Bernie looked round the elegant hallway, it was lovely, classy, very Serena, cosy. She took her coat off and hung it on one of the gold hooks just inside the door. "Doctor Bernie, would you like to come and see my room" Jason immediately said while rushing up the stairs. "That would be great Jason" Bernie replied casting a glance at the same time to Serena.

Serena smiled at her gratefully. Bernie gave Serena her phone before she followed Jason upstairs, "I would like to treat you to a Thai takeaway tonight if that is ok, it's lighter and really very delicious, I think you will like it, take a look at the menu app on my phone and decide what you would like, I will then order everything when I come back down. Bernie took Serena's hand in her own and said "I won't be long" looking deeply into Serena's eyes.

Wow... Serena thought, this woman could be so thoughtful and very kind indeed. She took her own coat off while Bernie and Jason were upstairs. She took a bottle of Shiraz out of the wine holder and prepared two glasses for them both. She felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach and kept herself busy looking at the menu until she could hear Bernie's footsteps plodding down the stairs. "Your home is so beautiful" Bernie spoke softly as she quickly found Serena in the large oak kitchen. Serena smiled shyly at her and handed her a glass of Shiraz. "A toast" Bernie whispered, "To us", "To us" Serena replied clinking her glass against the other both of them gazing at each other smiling.


	2. At Serena's Home

They heard Jason hurry down the stairs joining them in the spacious kitchen taking some snacks from the cupboard to put in his rucksack. Serena handed him some ice cold beers from the fridge to take with him to share with the others. Jason seemed quite excited and left the kitchen to look out for Raf's car at the hall window.

After telling Bernie what she fancied to eat, Bernie then left the kitchen with her phone and glass of wine to find the lounge. She tapped out the orders on her new app and shouted through to Serena that the food had been ordered relaxing back onto the amazingly comfortable soft grey sofa she had found in the corner of the room. Jason yelled through to them both that Raf had arrived and Serena quickly left what she was doing in the kitchen to come and greet Raf in his car on her driveway.

"Thank you so much Raf, this is so kind of you and Fletch" Serena whispered to Raf at his window, Raf kissed Serena on the cheek and whispered back "You deserve this night together and yes you owe us big time!". Serena flashed him a cheeky smile and felt herself blushing. "Right well have a good time Jason and see you after your shift tomorrow afternoon". "Bye Auntie Serena" Jason shouted from the back seat. Raf gave her a wink and they pulled off the drive and off round the corner.

Serena took two long slow deep breaths before heading back inside, her butterflies seemed to be more frantic than before now she knew they would be alone. She found Bernie looking completely relaxed on the main sofa in the corner of her lounge. She had taken her shoes off and her legs were curled up as she leant on the soft arm of the sofa. How did she manage to look so calm Serena thought, Bernie looked effortlessly comfortable in Serena's home even though she was guessing she too was nervous about the next step.

Serena went slowly back into the kitchen to fetch the plates she had left out to put the food on. When she stepped into the lounge Bernie was carefully rooting through her music collection to the side of the sofa. "You have a very wide ranging taste Ms Campbell" Bernie smirked at her teasingly. Serena smiled feeling a little bit embarrassed but continued to sit down on the same sofa Bernie had looked so comfortable on a few minutes before.

"What would you like to listen to?" Serena said softly as Bernie turned round to face her. "I think this album would be kind of perfect tonight" Bernie passed Serena a CD she had been playing lately with a collection of modern love songs on from the past few years. Serena smiled to herself and got up off the sofa to put on the music but as she did Bernie pulled her into a loving kiss wrapping her arms strongly round Serena's back. They kissed deeply for a while only breaking apart when the doorbell went to indicate their food had arrived. They chuckled to themselves and Bernie went quickly to answer the door.

Once the food had been dished out onto the plates and their glasses of now nearly empty Shiraz were being replaced they both sank down onto the sofa smiling at each other. They quietly ate the food which Serena thought tasted divine, Bernie had good taste.

After finishing their dishes of food Bernie turned to face Serena with a certain look on her face that Serena recognised from earlier in the day, she waited for Bernie to speak adjusting to sit more comfortably. "Serena I am just so sorry for how I have treated you" Bernie took Serena's hand in her own and pressed it lightly against her own cheek. "I don't deserve how you have forgiven me today after how much I have hurt you and I just want you to know how deeply sorry I am and how much I will work on getting back your feelings for me, I really have fallen for you and it completely scared me to death. I have never felt how I feel about you and I just want you to know that".

Serena settled back on the sofa still clutching Bernie's hand now moving it gently to holding it with their fingers grasping each other tightly. Serena took a deep breath and began to speak "You did really hurt me Bernie... but now I understand more about how scared you were feeling and why. My feelings for you haven't changed at all in their intensity, I fell in love with you before you went away.... and I am still in love with you now".

They suddenly both moved towards each other at a frantic pace... lips crashing together... hands in each others hair... swept up in the most passionate moment.


	3. What Else Happened in the Lounge

Bernie couldn't believe this was actually happening to her, here she was in Serena Campbell's elegant lounge passionately kissing this gorgeous, stunning woman who she had longed for in one way or another for what seemed like such a long time now.

She really thought she had screwed this up majorly and now here they were... Serena sinking into kissing her back with such force that Bernie knew instantly she had never been kissed like this in all her life. Wow... the intensity of it was so powerful, more than the kisses they had shared at work, they were both aware they were completely alone now and didn't need to hold back.

She suddenly felt Serena's hands on her face trying to pull her even closer, Bernie knew the intent behind this urge and she suddenly stopped in her tracks and gently pulled away her head falling into her hands."What is it...?" she heard Serena gently whisper softly to her.

"Serena this is not how I intended this to go in my head at all. I wanted to take you out properly for dinner and well you know show you a lovely time. I don't want you to think that um... that I just want to... umm you know?" Bernie was blushing.

Serena's right eyebrow raised suddenly and Bernie knew she understood what she was trying to say here. "I want you to get used to the idea of us being together so you feel ready for um... that... I don't want us to go there tonight with you waking up tomorrow regretting what you have done and that it wasn't what you wanted after all?. I don't want to be a mistake to you". Bernie suddenly let out a really deep breath realising that she had just blurted out quickly what was going round and round her head without properly thinking about it first.

She quickly realised that Serena was actually smiling and her own shoulders suddenly dropped relaxing completely that what she had said couldn't have been that wrong!  
Serena took her hands carefully in her own and whispered "I am completely ready for you, us and um... that... I have been for a while, you would never be a mistake to me, you are everything that I want".

With that confirmation that it was actually ok to continue Bernie began to kiss her again... first slowly and sensually moving gradually to the right side of her neck as she had earlier that day in their office. Serena liked this very very much and let out a soft moan. To show that she meant what she had just said Serena quickly shrugged off her new, expensive shirt and it fell to the floor... discarded .

Bernie got the message that this really was all ok and while she was still engaged in kissing Serena's soft beautiful neck she stroked up and down Serena's bare arms making Serena shiver with tingles.

Wow.... this was incredible, Serena began to feel quite hot and aroused at what Bernie was doing to her, she didn't feel quite sure what she should be doing herself but made the quick decision to attempt to undo Bernie's shirt buttons. They were still kissing softly now with Serena undressing Bernie's black shirt quite easily. Maybe she was going to be quite good at this?

She noticed in an instant that Bernie's stomach was tanned and well how would she describe it.... toned? pretty incredible? Serena felt herself getting completely flustered as her eyes moved upwards to see Bernie wearing a black sports bra that looked a bit nicer than your average sports bra, it had a lacy trim and was a deep expensive looking black.

Serena felt herself just staring and suddenly feeling terrified as her body wasn't exactly how would she say... toned! She knew Bernie went to the gym after work sometimes and at the weekends so obviously she was going to look good underneath her clothes.

Bernie could see a flash of fear on Serena's face and gently took her hands. "Are you sure you are ok with this?" Bernie asked her with such concern in her voice that Serena suddenly sat up and looked her straight in the eye. "I am not exactly how shall I say... body confident and well your body is ... so ... toned and tanned" Serena felt her cheeks flushing red and looked away from Bernie.

Bernie immediately grabbed her hands and said with utter confidence "Serena Campbell I don't want to hear any of that, you are so gorgeous and sexy to me, I think you are really way out of my league and I have thought about... um ravishing your body for um... quite a long time now." With that Serena pulled her silk camisole over her head and let it fall to the floor leaning forward to catch Bernie's lips in another passionate kiss.

"Shall we take this... upstairs?" Bernie mumbled in between hot kisses. Serena seemed to nod encouragingly while they were still caught up in kissing each other like their lives depended on it. Serena grabbed Bernie's hand gave her a wink and they made their way towards the stairs...


	4. The Bedroom

Serena was holding Bernie's hand with such a tight grip that Bernie thought her hand would be left with a bruise in the morning. She felt Serena's nerves and gave her hand a squeeze to reassure her as they made their way upstairs...

Bernie had worked out which room was Serena's when Jason had shown her round upstairs earlier in the evening. She had been impressed with how spacious and elegant everywhere had looked, much nicer than anywhere she had ever lived herself after all she had been used to some pretty grim living conditions in the past in the army.

Serena pushed her bedroom door wide open and while still gripping Bernie's hand reached for the lamp just inside the room on her dresser with her other shaking hand. Bernie couldn't believe she was in Serena Campbell's bedroom, wow... how had she got this unbelievably lucky?! She felt she should give Serena a minute or two to collect herself so excused herself to go to the bathroom her black shirt still undone and riding up. Serena had a lovely en suite just through to the back of the bedroom, she quickly shut the door behind her and glanced at herself in the long mirror to the side of the sink. Deep breaths she thought to herself this was really going to happen like right now, the minute she left the bathroom. What would Serena expect?

Bernie knew she needed to take the lead on this because she wanted Serena to feel comfortable and not embarrassed during her first time with a woman, with her. Wow what pressure! She knew she needed to give Serena a mind blowing experience to show her what sex with a woman could be like. She wanted Serena to love it and still want to be with her afterwards. Ok Bernie thought to herself, come on you can do this, just go for it and don't hold back...

She washed her hands putting on some of the expensive hand cream she found by the sink. There, her hands were softer now, she needed them to feel as soft as possible to Serena. Serena seemed big on touch, grazing fingers and using her hands to express herself so yes soft hands were really important here.

Bernie opened the bathroom door cautiously to find Serena still wearing her bra and trousers perched on the edge of her large king sized bed . God she looked stunning. This whole bedroom was just so... elegant and classy and the bed looked so comfortable. Serena stood up offering her hand out to Bernie showing she was ready. Bernie took it quickly and scooped Serena up into a wondrous passionate embrace burying her nose into Serena's neck before then finding her soft kissable lips again.

They kissed intensely for ages neither daring to make the next move. Bernie then suddenly felt brave and moved her fingers to Serena's black satin bra gently stroking around the edge sending shivers down Serena's shaking arms. They both looked at each other with such desire that Bernie started kissing round the edge of the bra... taking her time feeling Serena's nipples go stiff as she stroked and kissed over the satin fabric.

Serena pulled off Bernie's shirt hurriedly and pushed Bernie with a gentle force up against the wall next to them. Serena found her nerve and stroked over Bernie's soft bra gently at first, cautiously, but when she heard Bernie moan softly into her ear she caressed with more confidence and let her hand attempt to feel under the lacy edge. Bernie didn't want Serena to feel embarrassed so she took the lead and pulled her own bra over her head in one swift move and leant back against the wall looking in Serena's eyes with such desire that Serena gasped unexpectedly.

They were kissing again... hotly, Serena pushed up against Bernie's body, Bernie undoing her own trousers and shaking them off with urgency taking Serena's hand and leading her to the bed.

Serena's hands were on Bernie's breasts immediately, god they were perfectly formed and this felt utterly amazing, she couldn't believe she had never done this before, everything felt so sensual and well....right. Bernie gently lay Serena down on her back taking down her trousers and then started to feel underneath Serena's bra with both hands at the same time, Serena's neck flew back in bliss, wow her bra needed to come off right now even though she was not quite confident in how much Bernie would like her breasts. Serena had never thought much about them before except she knew both Edward and Robbie had never made many comments. She secretly hoped Bernie wouldn't be disappointed. Before she could think about it anymore she realised her bra was being undone by Bernie with her left hand and it seemed her teeth! How sexy... Serena giggled to herself, mmm this was incredible.

Bernie then had her first look at Serena Campbell's breasts... wow, umm yes they were just as she had pictured them in her many, many, many dreams of this gorgeous, sexy woman. Her nipples were small and a beautiful dark shade compared to Bernie's, wow.... umm... they needed to be kissed right now as Serena was looking up at her trying to work out what she was thinking with a really cautious expression. She flashed Serena a beaming smile to reassure her and started to kiss her way round Serena's nipples before taking them in her hands and then hot lips making Serena writhe around beneath her.

Serena whispered into Bernie's soft messy wavy hair that she was close and Bernie took that as her cue to take the plunge so to speak. She was apprehensive about what Serena would like but knew she had to get this right and well she was more confident with her... um... mouth so she moved her way down... kissing down Serena's soft stomach to her sexy thighs and then she was in ecstasy...

Serena shuddered with the explosion that had just happened to her in her bed with Bernie Wolfe. Oh my goodness, holy shit, that had been amazing, incredible, life altering, my god. She fell back against the soft sheets her cheeks flushed and her body limp. Bernie lay down next to her their faces looking at each other closely, both heads on the pillows next to each other. Bernie stroked Serena's stomach slowly and kissed her hair.

"Was that umm... good?" Bernie asked shyly although she did know the answer she needed to hear Serena say it. Serena smiled shyly back her cheeks still flushed and her hands pulling up the sheets around them both. "It was... completely beautiful and yes earth moving" she looked away suddenly embarrassed. Bernie pulled her into a cuddle and whispered softly into her hair that she was the one. Serena smiled at her shyly her eyes shining, her cheeks actually aching from smiling so much that evening.

She suddenly worried that Bernie might expect something from her now of course but reading her mind instantly Bernie kissed her and whispered that she wanted to hold Serena while they fell asleep. Serena felt herself relax into the mattress and whispered back that as they both had tomorrow morning off work maybe they could go for umm.... round two then? Bernie chuckled and kissed her, arms wrapped tightly round each other breathing against each others flushed cheeks.


	5. The Morning After

Bernie had been awake for a while staring at the ceiling quietly grinning to herself in the dark. Emotions and feelings were flooding her brain and she couldn't think straight. Last night had been so unbelievably wonderful, she sank further down with a deep breath into the cool sheets and moved onto her right side to check the time on her phone... 6.05am.

Bernie was used to waking at all sorts of different times due to her work at the hospital and in her past - both away with the army and when she was on leave at home when the children were smaller. This was different to all of the other mornings she had ever woken up at this time... she had these intense thoughts swirling around her head and she felt wide awake... happiness, contentedness, peace but also apprehension, arousal and butterflies at waking up laying next to Serena Campbell who she could make out on the other side of the bed turned away to face the other wall breathing softly.

She could see the outline of Serena's bare shoulders and realised that the sheets only covered from the bottom half of her beautiful back. Bernie remembered that they had fallen asleep with Serena laying in her arms, her face pressed gently against Bernie's bare chest with the sheets pulled right up around them both. It had felt so wonderful and her heart ached with happiness when she thought back to when this happened earlier this morning, it had been very late when they had eventually fallen asleep.

Bernie was still unbelievably aroused from touching and kissing Serena last night but had wanted Serena to be put first in what had happened between them, she didn't want Serena to feel pressured in doing anything to her the first time, she thought it best that she concentrated the pleasure side of things on making sure Serena had an amazing time in bed with her.

Her cheeks flushed with a grin when she remembered Serena's words to her afterwards... completely beautiful... oh and yes she had definitely said Earth moving as well....mmm wow. Bernie felt extremely pleased with herself at being able to get Serena there without much working out of what she had liked!

Her mind flicked back to the first time she had slept with Alex and... yes well... that hadn't been as successful for them both because of having to hide in a cupboard out of sight of their mates when they had a spare fifteen minutes. No this was completely mind blowing and totally different. Bernie got up off the bed carefully so not to wake Serena, grabbed her bag and quietly shut the bedroom door behind her so not to make any further noise.

She found the main bathroom next door to Jason's room and quietly let herself in, closing the door just as carefully behind her. She knew she had some spare gym clothes in her bag for the odd occasion she went after a shift at work. This had become less and less before she had gone to the Ukraine as more often than not she preferred to be free if Serena fancied a drink. She smiled to herself thinking back to those days when they flirted with each other over their desks and were becoming much closer.

She pulled on a clean blue v neck t-shirt that she found in her bag along with some newish black leggings. There, she didn't want to shock Serena when she woke up to turn over and be presented with a naked body first thing... god... she knew that Serena had never woken up with a woman before and even though she knew deep down that last night had gone amazingly well she didn't want anything to be awkward the moment Serena woke up the morning after their first time.

She carefully took one of the glasses on the sink to get herself a cold cup of water before brushing her teeth using some toiletries that were in her bag from the day before. She wanted to feel presentable when Serena woke up and knew they had some time before either of them were needed at work later that afternoon.

Turning off the light she tiptoed back to the bedroom trying to avoid the odd creak in the floorboards as she did. Bernie settled back under the sheets and turned her head to face the direction of where Serena was laying. God she looks so beautiful Bernie thought to herself. She resisted the intense urge she had to reach out and stroke her shoulders, her neck, her soft hair, god everything about Serena took her breath away...

After she had been dozing for a while she felt Serena's eyes on her, watching her. Bernie carefully opened her eyes and saw Serena smiling at her with the sheets pulled up tightly around her neck laying closer to where Bernie had noticed she was when she had gone to the bathroom early. "Hi" Serena said to her shyly shifting slightly under the sheets. Bernie smiled shyly back at her "Hi yourself... you look completely gorgeous... how did you sleep?".

"I slept well thank you" Serena replied, "How about you? were you comfortable enough?" Bernie shifted herself under the sheets and grinned back at Serena "I was completely comfortable thank you especially when you fell asleep on me, that was the best bit". Serena blushed a deep red also suddenly realising that Bernie had a blue t-shirt on, when did that happen?

As far as she remembered they had both fallen asleep topless under the sheets cuddling tightly and now here they were and she was the only one without a pyjama top on..."umm when did you... umm... get dressed?" Serena whispered even though they were the only ones in the entire house. "I went to the bathroom around six and realised I was a little chilly so I decided to use some clean clothes I had in my bag". Bernie was still grinning at her, she felt completely embarrassed but pretended not to be too bothered.... "Oh ok... well perhaps I should put some clothes on too it is a bit chilly".

Serena went to reach down her side of the bed to where Bernie thought she was reaching for a top to cover herself up. "No please don't Serena I would rather warm you up myself, come here" Bernie opened her arms suggesting Serena cuddle up to her. Serena wasn't too sure for a minute but suddenly a level of confidence grew inside her and she moved over to where Bernie was laying and snuggled back to where she had fallen asleep late last night or was it early this morning?

God yes, this felt so right, Serena's mind flashed back to last night when they had.... when Bernie had... oh god.... "What are you thinking about?" she suddenly heard Bernie say interrupting her thoughts. "Oh just you know... last night" Serena smiled up at her. Bernie held her tighter and started to stroke gently down Serena's bare arms and along her back... "Oh really... what in particular were you thinking about?"

Serena noticed that Bernie was beaming, her grin wide as the Cheshire Cat. Serena knew that Bernie knew she had showed her an amazing time and she also thought that this was not a time to tease this was serious and she knew Bernie had been nervous about hoping she had enjoyed herself in bed so any teasing temptation was instantly forgotten and Serena just flashed her a beautiful smile.

"So Ms Campbell... we don't have to be at work until 4pm later and we know Jason won't be home before we go out so.... umm... did you fancy doing anything in particular with our time?" Bernie was smiling down at Serena who was still wrapped up in her strong but gentle arms. "Well... I think I would like to take a bath and maybe... you could join me?"

Serena couldn't believe she had just said those words out loud! She had always been flirty but this actually had intent behind it and she wanted to umm .....experience round two carrying on from last night, maybe a bath would help them to relax and... enable them to take their time this morning?

Before Serena knew it, Bernie had pulled the covers back and had taken her hand pulling her gently up off the bed "Come on then"... Bernie was softly tugging her hand towards the en-suite in between pulling off her t-shirt. Serena giggled throwing her head back while also trying to pull Bernie's leggings off as they made their way into the bathroom.


	6. In the Bath

Bernie was pouring some of the new crème bath she had found on the shelf next to the sink into Serena's large white corner bath in the en suite. They had made their way into the bathroom kissing intensely but now Serena had gone down stairs to make them some fresh coffee quickly grabbing a floral silk dressing gown from behind the door in the process. Bernie was content to run the bath for them, she guessed that this bath soak had been a gift as it looked really expensive but thought this occasion warranted the best bath products in the house.

Her head was still swirling with arousing thoughts from the previous night when Serena appeared in the bedroom carrying two china mugs of steaming coffee. "Here you go" she spoke through to Bernie over the noise of the running water. They both needed their fix of coffee first thing and Serena had thought they could enjoy a few sips before getting into the bath.

She wandered into the en suite where Bernie was perched on the edge of the bath just in her black pants. Serena grinned at her and Bernie smiled back her cheeks flushing. "Smells lovely" Serena whispered softly. "I found it on your shelf, was it a present?" Bernie suggested. "Oh yes that was from Elinor for my birthday". Serena handed Bernie a coffee and leant in to kiss her softly on the lips. She walked back into the bedroom and casually picked up the discarded clothes that were on the floor from the night before. She smiled to herself, she was usually always so tidy!

She heard Bernie get into the bath and walked back into the en suite, there she was... Bernie... looking all beautiful in the bubbles giving her a gorgeous smile. Serena felt her heart melt and dropped her robe, this time she felt more confident being naked as she carefully got into the tub. Bernie moved over to her and wrapped her arms around her back pulling her into a soft but urgent kiss.

They kissed for a while before Bernie gently pulled away and touched Serena's nose with some of the bubbles before kissing them away again. Mmm... this was heaven Serena thought. She was well aware that Bernie was aroused and conscious that she herself had taken all the pleasure last night. Amazing as that was Serena was a giver and she wanted to learn how to please Bernie in that department. She reached under the water to stroke Bernie's thigh leaning in to whisper "What do you like...?"

"Sorry?" Bernie stuttered looking at her with a curious expression. "What do you like... what have you imagined me doing to you..?" Serena was blushing but was determined to continue this conversation while they were intimately close in bubbles.

"Umm do you mean...? Bernie was still taken a back by what Serena was implying. "Yes I mean what do you like... ummm how do you like...? Serena was embarrassed but Bernie gathered what she was asking and gently took Serena's beautiful hands under the bubbles smiling at her. She moved Serena's left hand towards her breasts that were covered in rose and jasmine bubbles.

"I like to be touched here first... Bernie whispered taking Serena's other hand and putting it over her other breast. Serena leant in to kiss her with an urgency that Bernie was not expecting, Serena it seems was also extremely good at caressing breasts...

Bernie was moaning softly and kissing Serena back with force now moving her legs slightly apart under the water. They carried on kissing and Bernie gently moved Serena's right hand from her breast to between her legs, their kisses deepened and Bernie was kissing Serena's neck, her fingers in her beautiful soft brown hair. "Serena......" Bernie was gasping as Serena had started moving her fingers quite expertly as it seems. "Serena....." Bernie moaned again. "Is this ok...?" Serena was whispering into Bernie's ear now their breasts were touching and Serena was feeling pretty aroused herself.

She wasn't sure whether Bernie needed more or whether she just preferred what she was already doing. "Please don't stop..." Bernie was panting now against Serena's shoulder, "faster if you can..." Serena moved her hand to get a better angle and continued with more pressure, she carried on kissing Bernie hard, deep, wow... Bernie started to shake and kissed Serena back so hard that she almost fell back against the side of the tub.

They both sank into the bubbles slightly pulling apart. "Did...? was that ok...?" Serena was looking at Bernie with such desire that Bernie couldn't think straight. "Yes... wow yes that was... umm... perfect". They both grinned at each other and Serena was the first to move back towards Bernie holding her in her arms taking in the smell of the bubbles, the smell of Bernie's skin...mmm. Wow she Serena Campbell had managed to... the first time she had tried... yes that was pretty impressive she thought to herself, she held Bernie tighter. "I love you" she suddenly heard Bernie whisper into her neck.

She pulled apart from her in an instant and looked deep into her gorgeous deep brown eyes. "I love you too Bernie" Serena whispered back, "Let's stay in here for a bit". They quickly added some more hot water and cuddled up by the side of the tub flushed cheek to flushed cheek.


	7. The rest of Tuesday

Bernie was downstairs in Serena's kitchen making them both breakfast. She had offered and was always good at finding where things were quickly in every area of her life so was able to scramble together some eggs with avocado she had found in the fridge. She carefully poured out two glasses of orange juice and put some more coffee on.

She couldn't stop grinning, wow this was a complete dream... to be making breakfast for Serena after... well... yes that! Happy wasn't a big enough word for what she was feeling... in love? blissful? buzzing with feelings? She found a large tray to put everything on and carried it all carefully back up to Serena's bedroom.

Serena was dozing on the bed wearing just her robe, Bernie thought she looked so beautiful. She kissed Serena lightly on the forehead "Serena... I've made you breakfast" she whispered. Serena stirred lazily smiling up at Bernie. "Thank you, that is really sweet of you". They ate quietly both of them quite tired but content to be with each other like this. "Serena I should really go to my flat for a couple of hours before work later if that's ok... I have washing to do and bits to sort out after being away" Bernie said all this quickly and very cautiously as it was bringing up her time in Kiev again and reminding them both that she had been away.

"Of course..." Serena was disappointed but accepting that Bernie had things to do. "You don't have to go just yet though do you...?" Serena was looking at Bernie with desire, happiness and lust in her eyes. "Well... what did you have in mind...?" Bernie was smirking at her, "I thought you would be completely tired out after last night... and well... this morning".

Serena looked at her shyly and whispered "... Well when we were in the bath earlier I was quite... worked up myself... and well I don't think I can wait until...".

"Oh really...?" Bernie was teasing her now feeling smug as hell. Serena Campbell couldn't get enough of her obviously, and this proved to her how much she had enjoyed herself in that way with her since last night. Bernie edged closer and began to stroke over Serena's robe lightly with her fingers.

"How worked up were you earlier... I need to know exactly what you were thinking" Bernie was now kissing her favourite spot on Serena's neck while her fingers were stroking over Serena's chest. She moved gradually to the other side of Serena's neck and began to press her body against Serena's.

"I was feeling really... hot... and well... I wanted you to do what you did last night... again... it was what I was thinking about when I... was doing... that to you" Serena was stammering in between Bernie kissing her and feeling excited but still a little embarrassed at her weakness for Bernie Wolfe! Bernie didn't need to reply she was undoing Serena's robe and it fell open so Bernie had easier access to Serena's hard nipples. She began to kiss over them lightly at first until Serena was moaning for more. Bernie stroked down Serena's beautiful stomach and began to feel her way further...

Serena gasped loudly at being touched but shyly nodded to Bernie who had stopped to make sure this was still ok. She went back to kissing her deeply her hands moving between hard nipples and soft legs, she pulled Serena's face to hers whispering "You are all I have ever wanted, I am so crazy about you..." with that she began to kiss her way back down Serena's thighs to where she had belonged late the previous evening...

Serena crashed back on to the sheets pulling Bernie with her, "Wow... you are... amazing at that..." Bernie was grinning at her and looking at her with love in her eyes. They both cuddled up under the sheets, Bernie stroking Serena's hair and Serena's hands resting on Bernie's thigh. "I really don't want to leave you to go to my flat Serena, you know that right?" "I do, we have things we do need to get done before work though and I will see you later" Serena was smiling at Bernie with a sad but accepting look.

Bernie kissed her deeply before getting up off the bed and grabbing her things from around the bedroom. She quickly used the bathroom and when she was ready she came back over to the bed and kissed Serena with such force that Serena sank deeply into the mattress.

Serena got up and they reached for each others hand at the same time grasping their fingers together as they walked down the stairs towards the front door. "Bernie... I want you to know that I will remember last night for the rest of my life... thank you " Serena was speaking softly not wanting to scare Bernie with her feelings but knowing she needed to say the words.

Bernie smiled shyly at her and gave her another kiss, "Same..." she whispered back into Serena's neck and with that her taxi was there waiting for her. She had called for one while she had been getting ready without telling Serena as she knew she would have insisted on offering her a lift and she wanted Serena to rest before work later.

Serena was wandering around the house feeling a bit lost, how had she resorted to this... it had only been twenty minutes and she was missing Bernie so much already, this was ridiculous! She busied herself with tidying up and laundry getting her work clothes ready and some snacks for her shift later. She sent a text to Jason asking if he was ok and had had a nice evening. Just after she had pressed send her phone flashed with a message... from Bernie... I miss you x

Serena's lips broke into a beaming smile, god she felt like a teenager, this was mad, they had only been apart for now thirty minutes and she was counting down until 4pm when they would be at work together but obviously they had to behave themselves there. She waited three minutes (so not to seem too keen!) and texted back... I miss you too x

At 3.35pm Serena got into her car for the drive to work, it never took longer than ten minutes and she wanted to be there before Bernie if possible, she felt butterflies but excited butterflies, she reminded herself that she had to concentrate on her job at work even though this was going to be so difficult! Her head was just full of Bernie, them together, what they had done at her house, expectations? She pulled up in her car parking space at the hospital, good Bernie's car wasn't there yet.

She walked into her office and saw Jason sitting there with his coat on. "Jason... how are you?" Serena asked with concern in her voice. "I'm fine Auntie Serena, I had a nice time at Fletch and Raf's house and work has gone well today, I'm about to head home I just wanted to see if you had had a nice evening with Bernie?". Serena felt her heart melt, "Yes thank you Jason we had a lovely time" she felt herself blushing but knew that Jason wouldn't pick up on this.

"I have left you some things for your tea in the fridge, I hope you will be ok tonight as I don't finish until midnight." "Yes... that's fine Auntie Serena, I'm tired so I will be fine to rest tonight". With that Jason came over to Serena and gave her a brief hug "You look happy Auntie Serena, I'm glad you and Bernie have made up. Are you together now then properly?" Without any doubt at all Serena replied smiling "Yes Jason we are together" just as Bernie arrived in the door of their office beaming at her.


	8. Wednesday

It was after midnight and they were both still at the hospital. An accident had come through twenty minutes ago so one of them was going to have to stay on. Bernie jumped in straight away without discussing it with Serena, she felt she needed to step up here after being away from the hospital over the last few months. "Serena you should get off home, I'll be fine here", Bernie was already prepping for the surgery and Serena looked so worn out she smiled at her gratefully and kissed her cheek softly before heading back to the office to grab her things.

She did feel really tired out, more emotionally then physically after everything that had happened in the last 48 hours. She left Bernie a note by her bag so she would see it when returning from theatre before heading home herself. They had both worked so hard since their shifts had started and had barely had time to exchange any words, not that any were really needed, there was a lot of gazing and smiling at each other though as they worked through their patient cases efficiently.

Bernie finished working in theatre around 1.40am, it had all gone well so she felt satisfied that she had done all she could to save someone at that moment in time. She made her way to the office and found Serena's note by her bag... 'Didn't want to leave without you but you insisted, come round for lunch later before work if you would like to, see how well you sleep, miss you x' Bernie's heart leapt and she smiled to herself. This wasn't all a dream she was with Serena now and everything else just sort of fell into place.

She sent her a text straight away as she knew she would be exhausted when she got back to her flat. She definitely wanted to see Serena at lunchtime so accepted her invite and was feeling brave so sent two kisses at the end of her text, hoping Serena was by now fast asleep and would wake up to it later.

Serena had fallen asleep straight away when she had got home, she slept well and woke up around 10am to Bernie's text. Her heart skipped a beat when she read it 'Miss you too, surgery all went fine, hope you are sleeping now, will see you lunchtime then :) xx' She felt beyond excited and knew that they had the house to themselves again as Jason would of headed out to work for 9am and he usually worked through until 4pm. She listened quietly to see if she could hear Jason at all... silence... she checked the time again, yes he would be at work now.

She got up and pottered around the bedroom tidying things away and smiling to herself. She couldn't remember feeling this happy for such a long time, she thought about Bernie, hopefully she was fast asleep now at her flat. She wondered what time Bernie might come round, she had said lunchtime, maybe 1pm? maybe before? She wasn't sure but wanted to keep things casual as they had both been working late and had to head back to the hospital again for 4pm.

She had a long, lazy shower using her best shower wash and shampoo wanting to feel her best. She put on her best casual clothes - dark jeans and a soft grey long cardigan over a navy vest, there she looked nice but not overdoing it for the occasion. She applied her makeup carefully and sprayed herself with her favourite perfume thinking again about the last time they were together in this room, it made her tingle with excitement and how she had felt, wow, she didn't think she had felt like this before, maybe she thought she had but this was so different, this felt like true, proper love, she didn't think the relationships of her past even her marriage compared to this partnership now.

She sent a quick text to Bernie for when she woke up suggesting 1pm if she had slept ok and not to worry if she was too tired. After about ten minutes her phone flashed 'Of course I am coming to see you, can we make it 1.30pm though only just woken up xx'. Serena beamed at the reply, she felt butterflies and immediately headed down to the kitchen to prepare some sandwiches and salad. Jason had been shopping and picked up some bits kindly for her as she had asked him to. She really did enjoy living with Jason, he was so sweet sometimes and they were there for each other which felt lovely.

Serena's doorbell went at 1.25pm and Bernie was standing there with some gorgeous flowers looking tired but stunning. She was wearing casual clothes herself but they were elegant - dark jeans with a soft green shirt over a black t-shirt. They beamed at each other and Bernie handed the flowers over to Serena. "I hope you like lilies" Bernie said shyly, "I wanted to get you some nice ones and I wasn't sure what you liked when I was in the shop". Serena felt her heart melt, Bernie had stopped off to get them on her way over despite being completely tired. "Thank you so much they are really perfect" Serena was smiling shyly back, they were both still adorably shy around each other some of the time.

They both headed through to the kitchen and Bernie put her jacket on one of the oak chairs. "Can I get you a drink?" Serena was determined to take care of Bernie after she had so selflessly worked longer last night when they were both really tired. "Can I have a cup of tea please and... a kiss?" Bernie was grinning at her in that adorable way that made Serena's heart flip over. Serena made her way straight over to Bernie's side and embraced her softly kissing her lips firmly with desire.

They started to get a bit carried away with the kissing, fingers wandering and hair being stroked lovingly. Serena broke away and flashed Bernie one of her beautiful flirty smiles... "Some lunch perhaps... you must be really hungry". Bernie flashed her eyebrows at Serena and chuckled... "Yep very hungry Serena... what are we having?"

Serena's cheeks flushed pink and turned to get the sandwiches and salad bowl she had prepared. "This looks lovely, thank you" Bernie was now smiling at her gratefully... "It really is difficult to keep my hands off you though... especially after working together last night when I couldn't touch you or kiss you" Bernie was whispering now and Serena was gazing at her.

They ate quietly and Serena poured them some mugs of tea. She then took a deep breath... "Would you like to stay here after work tonight?" Bernie looked at her and beamed. "If you want to that is, I know you have been away and maybe you need some time to yourself or have things to do tomorrow, I don't want you to feel you have to spend all your time with me" Serena suddenly realised she was rambling and not making much sense. Bernie took her hand and was stroking over her fingers delicately.

"I would love to come home with you later Serena... will Jason mind or realise though... what about him?". "I will leave Jason a note to explain in case but everything should be ok, he won't even notice as our work shifts are different this week aren't they".

Bernie beamed again at her and they realised they were still holding hands. Bernie pulled Serena into a kiss and they were swept up into the moment again just the two of them. "Would you still like to go out together at the weekend?" Bernie mumbled as they broke apart gently. "It would be a proper date if you would like to, we could go out for dinner?" Serena nodded smiling "Yes that would be really lovely, I would love that".


	9. Thursday

It was just after midnight when they both finished work. Both sat slumped at their desks in the office looking beyond exhausted after a hectic shift and finishing off paperwork. "Come on", Bernie sighed, "Let's get going would you... still like me to stay tonight?". Even though Serena was exhausted she managed a beautiful smile that answered Bernie's question. They gathered their bags and coats and closed the office door, neither would be in again until later that afternoon. It was a biting cold wind when walking to Serena's car and both sat quietly on the drive back to Serena's stopping off round the corner to get some Chinese takeaway as they both felt hungry but far too tired to make anything to eat themselves.

They slumped through the door with their bags when they got in and Serena went straight to the kitchen to fetch some Shiraz, glasses and plates to put the food on. Bernie went through to the lounge and sank down into her new favourite section of the corner sofa. She looked relaxed when Serena came back in with the food containers and plates. She went back to collect the wine and glasses while Bernie dished up the food. "I could get used to this" Bernie smiled at Serena looking fully content. Serena managed a smirk "Meaning?" she questioned. "I mean I could get used to coming home with you after work, it feels so... lovely" Bernie looked shyly at her and shrugged her shoulders.

Serena was a bit taken a back by Bernie's words, she had learned to think carefully about the words she used with Bernie about her own feelings and knew that Bernie found it really difficult to express how she felt. Serena just flashed her a beaming smile and continued to eat her Chicken and Cashew Nuts. She took a gulp of Shiraz to wash it down but also to steady her nerves, even though exhausted she still felt nervous around Bernie.

"Can I ask you something?" Bernie whispered, she was conscious that Jason would be asleep upstairs and also she was tired but wanted conversation with Serena. She leant closer so their shoulders were touching as they continued to eat and relax with wine. "Yes of course you can..." Serena was also tired but alert to what she was saying, she always was around Bernie. "When did you begin to see me differently..." Bernie was asking with curiosity in her voice. "I mean as more than a colleague... and... friend, I have been wondering and it was playing on my mind when I was... away."

Serena smiled at her in the adorable way that Bernie loved, her eyes lit up "Well... I thought you were attractive when we first met and started chatting but there was a moment... in the office... when you said your back was hurting and I said I would take a look... do you remember?"

Bernie grinned at her "Of course I remember, I felt like I was trembling when you were touching me and used all the willpower I had not to keep moaning as it felt so good what you were doing!". Serena laughed "Well... when I started touching your back I felt something deep inside and it scared me, I realised that I was attracted to you".

Bernie smiled shyly at her "So when you realised I had had an affair with a woman when I was in the army what did you think? I know it was a shock for you, your face couldn't hide that when that happened on the ward, I felt awful I hadn't said to you about it after we had begun spending time together". Serena sighed "Yes, I guess I was disappointed more than anything... that you hadn't felt you could trust me at the time with that information".

"I know Serena, but what were you thinking about me then?". Serena smiled "I guess I wasn't that surprised if I am honest but I'm not sure why that was". Bernie laughed "Oh right! I remember the day after you found out you offered me an arm wrestle so I knew we were going to be fine!". Serena blushed remembering that incident where Bernie had let her win, how embarrassing. "Yes well... I guess I started to think of you differently from then in a way".

Bernie smiled "Can I ask you something else?". Serena sank back onto the cushions lazily "Yes Bernie you can ask me something else" she gave a tired smile to her. "I kind of wanted to ask you for a while... if you have ever found any other women... attractive? I know you said you haven't been more than friends with a woman before me but I was wondering if you have ever.......". What fancied another woman?" Serena whispered. "Yes... have you?" Bernie was whispering into her hair now with her hand on Serena's leg.

"I'm not sure really..." Serena shrugged her shoulders, "maybe... maybe not, it hit me with you and it hasn't hit me before so I'm not sure of the answer" Serena shrugged her shoulders again and took another sip of Shiraz. Bernie pulled her into a cuddle guessing that Serena was feeling a little embarrassed now.

"Well... I'm glad I'm the first" Bernie whispered into her neck while starting to kiss her favourite spot. Serena shivered, "Me too" she gave Bernie a shy smile and relaxed against her shoulder. Bernie pulled her up off the sofa and they headed upstairs with the two half glasses of wine.

They both felt exhausted and tried to be quiet so not to wake Jason. Serena went into the bathroom and Bernie quickly undressed and pulled on a clean vest and pyjama trousers she had put in her work bag. Finishing off her wine she checked her mobile and saw a text from Cam 'When can we meet up? I know you got back a few days ago, Cam'. She smiled and quickly replied that she had some days off over the weekend so would be in touch to catch up - she wasn't sure what she would be doing with Serena and knew they had a date planned. Cam always was a last minute person so she knew it would suit him to arrange something nearer the time.

Serena came out of the bathroom in her silky robe and chose some silk pale pink pyjamas to put on. Bernie smiled at her from where she was laying on the bed. Serena quickly undressed and put on the pyjamas. Bernie was feeling aroused but knew they were both far too exhausted for... that. "Come here..." she whispered to Serena. Serena obliged and Bernie pulled her into a deep kiss, her arms around Serena's back holding her tightly. "You are so gorgeous..." she whispered, kissing her neck, fingers stroking her soft hair and pulling her face gently into another deep kiss. Serena smiled shyly at her and they cuddled up under the sheets.

Bernie woke up around 7.45am and plodded down to the kitchen to get a glass of water and stretch her legs, she had Serena's other soft navy robe on and when she saw Jason sitting at the table in the kitchen she felt a little embarrassed. "Good morning Bernie" Jason smiled at her, he was tucking into toast, butter and jam and was drinking a glass of orange juice. "Hi Jason... how are you?" Bernie got herself a glass of water from the filter jug and took an apple from the fruit bowl on the table.

"I'm ok thank you, I'm going to work soon, how are your late shifts going this week?" Bernie was touched by Jason's question, "Busy but ok thanks Jason... what have you been watching in the evenings this week... anything good?" They settled into a conversation about various quiz shows and Jason got up to put his things in the dishwasher. He left Serena a note on the table to say hello and said goodbye to Bernie as he collected his work bag from the lounge.

Bernie plodded back upstairs and got back into bed wearing Serena's robe. They had fallen asleep again snuggled up together which was so new for Bernie. She had never done this before not even with Marcus. She hadn't felt comfortable to go to sleep with another person in her personal space! Serena was different, she couldn't bear the thought of not being wrapped around each other, they varied positions, sometimes Serena lay on Bernie's chest, sometimes Serena cuddled Bernie. Bernie had never allowed anyone else to hold her like this while she fell asleep, it made her feel exposed and vulnerable, not things she was comfortable feeling. She felt safe in Serena's arms, she loved her, Bernie suddenly turned over to see Serena stir and open her eyes.

"Good morning..." Serena smiled shyly at her, god she looks beautiful Bernie thought, she never got over how gorgeous Serena looked when she woke up, it was the best feeling in the world to wake up next to her. Bernie opened her arms indicating that Serena should snuggle up to her. "How did you sleep?" Bernie whispered. "I slept well thanks, how about you?"

Serena shifted slightly under the sheets and was now stroking Bernie's stomach lightly which made Bernie shiver. "Yes I slept well, I saw Jason before he went out, he said he was fine and said to say hello to you, he saw me in this robe which felt a bit embarrassing" she was chuckling now and Serena smiled up at her still stroking her stomach but gradually moving her fingers lightly upwards.

Bernie whispered into her hair "Do you know just what that does to me?" Serena flashed her a flirty smile "I think you had better tell me...". "Well it gives me butterflies... and makes me want to... you know... kiss you... very deeply and not stop..."

Serena was breathing heavily now, her fingers stroking over Bernie's chest and pushing her body against her. She started to kiss over the top of Bernie's vest using her lips to kiss urgently over Bernie's now hard nipples. "Serena...." Bernie was moaning now, her arms around Serena pulling her on top of her. Serena was getting extremely aroused and tugged Bernie's pyjama trousers down tossing them aside onto the floor. Bernie was pulling Serena's top off making a gentle grab for her breasts in the process. Serena suddenly realised she wasn't sure what Bernie needed at this moment and she whispered "What would you like me to do...?".

Bernie gathered Serena was slightly apprehensive and guided Serena's right hand down between her legs pulling her into a deep kiss. Between hot kisses Bernie was encouraging Serena that what she was doing was what she wanted, Serena got the idea and applied more pressure and speed.... kissing between both of Bernie's nipples and her soft lips. Suddenly there was Bernie shaking and kissing Serena so deeply again indicating... success. Serena smiled to herself, god she was getting the hang of this. She knew there were other... moves... she needed to... master but for now she was doing ok!

Bernie crashed back onto the sheets, cheeks flushed and pulling Serena slightly with her. They lay wrapped in each others arms for a while lazily kissing. "Would you like some breakfast?" Serena softly said into Bernie's soft, messy hair. "Maybe after... "Bernie smiled at her with a cheeky look in her eyes. "Oh really... after what else?" Serena was blushing now. Bernie didn't bother replying she had already got Serena's nipples in her hands and then in her mouth, her lips were warm and Serena felt in heaven straightaway when Bernie did this to her, god it felt amazing. Bernie was lightly stroking down her legs at the same time coming back up to kiss Serena deeply taking her pyjama trousers down and whispering "What would you like this morning.... anything else you would like me to try with you?".

Serena blushed, she knew what Bernie meant but that wasn't what she craved. She wanted Bernie to work her magic in the way that really turned her on. "The usual... please... that is what I really love you doing... if you want to?" "God do I want to...." Bernie gave her a beautiful beaming smile and her mouth was back onto her nipples, fingers in her hair, stroking her face and then kissing down her stomach, Serena knew what to expect now and it totally blew her mind.

They both sank into the sheets wrapped up in blissful happiness, god this was the best way to start a morning, they both grinned at each other and cuddled up together. "So.. breakfast?" Serena was whispering into Bernie's soft neck. "Yep... breakfast would be good..." Bernie pulled her into another deep kiss.


	10. Friday

It was very late when they both finished work on Friday morning. AAU had been so busy with many trauma patients needing expert care so they both had an extra caffeine shot and carried on working through until everything was ok to hand over. They were going their separate ways after their shifts today as Bernie had some bits to do at home but they had agreed that Serena would stay with her that evening for a change, Jason was staying with Alan anyway so it was a good opportunity. Bernie wanted the chance to get everywhere presentable before the evening that lay ahead and also they both needed to catch up on much needed sleep.

In the office, Bernie made sure the door was shut and gave Serena a tired kiss. "Will you be ok getting home, are you alert enough to drive?" Bernie was concerned about her as they had both been so busy that shift and Serena looked exhausted. "I'll be fine, thanks though" Serena gave her a grateful smile. "What are you thanking me for?" Bernie whispered. "For caring" Serena kissed her back firmly and with passion. They both looked at each other and pulled away slowly.

"This is crazy isn't it" Bernie spoke softly into Serena's hair. "Yes" Serena breathed into Bernie's neck. They both knew exactly what the other meant, that they really couldn't bear to be apart and both were feeling this thing between them was completely intense and overtaking them both. Bernie stroked Serena's face gently "Please text me when you get home ok?" Serena smiled at her and pulled her into another kiss.

They both walked slowly out to the car park, it was frosty and Bernie walked Serena to her car. They hugged briefly as both were exhausted and aware they were now in view of anyone who was passing. "See you later Serena, come round when you want this evening". Serena smiled nodding and then shut her car door. Bernie walked to her own car gradually looking as Serena's car disappeared round the corner.

Bernie got inside of her flat and collapsed onto the sofa. God this was really uncomfortable compared to Serena's lovely soft one, it was a lot smaller as well, she didn't think they would both fit on it if they were cuddling. She looked round and sighed, maybe she should have made this place more homely.

She suddenly thought that she had a couple of hours later today to make the place a bit nicer for Serena, she smiled and thought of her lovely... what was Serena? partner? girlfriend? maybe she should clarify things? maybe not... would that scare Serena off to put a label on things? Bernie shrugged her shoulders and went to get a ready meal she had in her fridge. God this was depressing, she didn't like this life in the flat. She craved being with Serena at her home so much, this was mad, her thoughts turned to her mobile. Had Serena text her yet? was she safely home?

She suddenly saw a text and sighed content that Serena was home, she could relax now. 'Got home ok, not the same without you here with me, miss you, night night xx' Bernie smiled and sent a text straight back feeling like a teenager 'Miss you too, glad you got home safely, sweet dreams xx' she put her phone onto silent and finished eating the depressing lasagne she had microwaved.

Serena went to bed straight away when she got back, she wasn't hungry and was getting a headache. It felt so lonely not to have Bernie by her side to snuggle up with. This was depressing Serena thought and quite crazy. How had she got to the point where a few hours apart from Bernie Wolfe made her heart ache. She saw Bernie's text flash up on her phone. She beamed and fell back against the pillow turning off the light and fell into a deep sleep quickly.

Bernie got up around 1pm and had a quick bite of toast and a cup of tea. She had things to do! This place needed a clean and she wanted it to feel more homely. It was the first night they had had off work this week and since she had come back from Kiev so this was a big occasion to Bernie. She really wanted Serena to feel comfortable at her place. Ok what to cook later? Bernie decided on a roast chicken dinner, she could master that quite well already and she needed to get plenty more Shiraz in! She made a quick list of items she wanted to get and headed out to the shopping park close by. She felt energised at the thought of the evening ahead...

After around two hours of shopping Bernie was back home unpacking the items she had got. Out came the ingredients for dinner, wine, various breakfast items for the morning, new towels for the bathroom, two new sets of nicer pyjamas, new underwear and a new black shirt that was nicer than the one she already had which was more of a work shirt. Bernie was exhausted now, shopping tired her out anyway as she found it hard to make decisions in the shops! She had a quick sandwich that she had picked up while out and set to work on cleaning the place up.

Serena woke up around 2pm and the first thing she thought about was the evening ahead. She felt butterflies at the thought of going to Bernie's place for dinner and staying over. She felt tingly with excitement. She got up and made some fresh coffee, she still didn't feel hungry but made herself have some fruit and yoghurt. She knew Jason would be going to Alan's straight from the hospital after his shift so she had plenty of time to relax and get ready for later. She sent Bernie a text to arrange what time she should head over... 'Hope you slept ok, what time would you like me to come over later? Still missing you xx'.

By the time she had got out of the shower she checked her mobile and there was already a text from Bernie waiting 'Missing you more, hope you slept ok, come over when you are ready after about 5.30pm, can't wait xx'. Serena beamed, her stomach seemed to lurch with nerves. Why was she nervous? Ah yes she knew why... she hadn't been to Bernie's flat before and Bernie gave her butterflies anyway, this new relationship gave her butterflies, kissing Bernie made her feel weak and the other stuff... well... Serena knew there was more stuff they hadn't done yet that may happen at anytime from now on and... well.. the thought made her nervous too.

Serena checked the time again, ok she had plenty of time, she too thought about nipping out to the shops but wanted to save her energy for later. She routed through her things and found some of her nicer underwear out that Bernie hadn't seen yet and also a few new bits she had got when Bernie had been away in Kiev.

Bernie started cooking around 4.30pm, she had got ready, very organised she thought to herself... Serena would be impressed! Every where looked much better and Bernie felt nice in her new underwear and shirt. She put some candles around the lounge area and put the wine in the fridge. She had her ipod docking station set up and put on a selection of modern softer songs to have in the background. Bernie looked round beaming, there she had made her flat really nice, it looked much better and Serena wouldn't know what it had looked like just hours earlier!

She heard a knock at the door at 5.35pm knowing that it would be Serena. Her heart flipped with nerves and she checked on the roast chicken in the oven before heading to open the door. There she was.... Serena looking completely stunning... smiling at her with a bottle of Shiraz. "Hi... wow... you look...." Bernie was completely speechless. Serena was wearing black trousers, a beautiful soft low cut black top and a long green soft wrap cardigan. Bernie started again... "Serena you look completely stunning" she was whispering and Serena beamed at her. "You look amazing yourself" Serena smiled shyly at her and stepped into Bernie's hall glancing around.

"Come in... and make yourself at home... dinner's in the oven" Bernie wasn't used to hosting people at her flat and this was so important to her, she wanted to get this right. Serena leant in to kiss her, putting the wine on the shelf she quickly found and wrapped her arms round Bernie's back pulling her in close their foreheads touching. "I missed you..." Serena whispered into Bernie's neck.

Bernie smiled at her and took her hand leading her into the open plan lounge and kitchen area. Serena looked round and flashed Bernie a smile "Your place is lovely Bernie". Bernie's cheeks flushed and she went to get the wine glasses and wine from the fridge replacing it with the bottle Serena had kindly bought. She poured out the wine and handed one of the glasses to Serena who had taken a seat on the sofa.

"How are you feeling tonight? Are you feeling tired?" Serena shook her head and smiled "I feel fine thank you, I was able to relax this afternoon so I'm ok, how about you, did you get to rest?" Bernie nodded thinking about how she had dashed around like a mad woman getting everywhere ready "Yes I did thank you".

Bernie dished up the roast and they sat at the dining table eating quietly and gazing at each other. "Bernie this is really very good..." Serena was enjoying the meal very much. "I'm glad you like it" Bernie was smiling shyly at her now and asked after Jason. Serena and Jason had been leaving each other notes on the kitchen table all week to communicate because of the different work shifts and Serena had also text him to make sure he had got to Alan's ok.

Bernie took a deep breath and started to speak "Serena... I..." Serena looked up and waited for Bernie to finish, often it took a while for Bernie to figure out what she wanted to say so she waited patiently taking a sip of wine. Bernie started again "Serena... I... would like it if you were...." she stopped again and Serena thought she looked terrified. "What is it?" Serena whispered to her. "I just wanted to ask you if you would be... if you are my..." Bernie stopped again. "Say it..." Serena encouraged getting the hint of what Bernie wanted to say but she wanted to hear Bernie say it. "Will you... are you now my..." she suddenly stopped. "What are we Serena?".

Serena beamed at her "How about... partners? I think we're a bit old for the term girlfriend, don't you?" Bernie chuckled "I guess so... although I haven't had a 'girlfriend' before, it sounds nice". They both couldn't stop grinning for the rest of the meal. Bernie had got ice cream for dessert and they both moved to the sofa. Bernie carefully got some of the melted ice cream onto the spoon and fed it to a smiling Serena. "I haven't done this before..." Serena was whispering even though there wasn't anyone else around.

Bernie put the ice cream down on the side and pulled Serena into an intense kiss. "When you say you haven't done things before it makes my heart ache actually...." Bernie was shyly whispering into Serena's hair. "I get to be the lucky one who gets to do these things with you, wow... I am so lucky to have you". Serena was gazing at her and pulled Bernie into another kiss, ice cream melting down the side of the container forgotten for the moment.


	11. The Rest of Friday Evening

They were kissing intensely now, Bernie moving gently to kiss Serena's beautiful soft neck. Serena moaned softly and pulled Bernie into another deep kiss. This time it was her taking the lead, she felt more confident, she needed to show Bernie just how much she wanted her... sexually as well as the amazing partnership they had together.

Bernie was aware that Serena was setting the pace here and let her. Serena was undoing Bernie's new shirt quickly and moved to kissing Bernie's neck gently aware that sometimes she was cautious about this because of her operation earlier in the year. "Is this ok...?" Serena whispered. Bernie nodded while pulling Serena into another deep kiss. She began pulling off Serena's cardigan and stroking up and down Serena's arms while feeling over her breasts where she found already hard nipples.

Serena gasped and pulled away to look at Bernie, her eyes shining and she could feel herself slightly trembling. She urgently continued undoing Bernie's shirt and found beneath it a new black bra that she was wearing. This looked different to the ones she had seen before... this was more... see through and lacy. "Do you like it?" Bernie was whispering to her. "Very much..." Serena was tracing her fingers around the edge and could see Bernie's nipples stiffen beneath the lace.

This time it was Bernie moving urgently, taking off Serena's top, pulling down her own trousers and then trying to undo Serena's not very successfully. Serena helped her and they were kissing again. Bernie taking Serena's hand and leading her into her bedroom just off from the lounge area.

Serena didn't have time to take in her surroundings she was being led to the bed which was quite large. Bernie was now kissing over Serena's bra her hands pulling her closer around her waist. Serena felt weak, this was amazing. She tried to take the lead again and let things happen naturally, she was nervous but was just going to go with the flow. Bernie pulled her gently on top of her and they were rolling around kissing madly, Serena reaching to take Bernie's bra off and lips heading straight for her hard nipples. Bernie moaned loudly then, Serena's lips felt amazing, they were warm and frantic.

She reached round to take Serena's bra off and then they were rolling around again. Bernie was kissing Serena's nipples now and stroking her hair, her fingers wandered lower and lower until they found where they were meant to be. Serena gasped nodding and carried on kissing Bernie deeply. Bernie explored further and further Serena whispering "more..." into her messy hair. This time Bernie felt brave and used her fingers to push inside gently working her magic...

Serena collapsed back onto the sheets, Bernie moving up to lay beside her on the pillow. "Wow... um that was..." "Ok...?" Bernie smiled at her knowing that Serena had reached... well... yes... that. Serena grinned at her lazily, feeling exhilarated "Wow... you are very good at that too... it felt... so intense". Bernie was stroking her hair gently and gazing at her.

She suddenly got up off the bed and pulled on her dressing gown from the chair at the side of the room. "Where are you going...?" Serena pouted. "Oh just to get the ice cream..." Bernie chuckled. She came quickly back in with the tub, it was slightly dripping and Bernie had gathered some tissues at the same time to mop round the edges. She took some of the expensive vanilla ice cream onto the spoon and fed Serena a large spoonful. Serena was grinning at her and asked for some more. They shared a few more mouthfuls between them feeding each other and kissing any drips away from each others lips.

Serena moved to put the tub down on the bedside cabinet and reached for Bernie again pulling her into an intense kiss that was now cold as they had been eating ice cream! "I want to..." Serena whispered. She tried again "I want to try... doing what you have been doing to me, not tonight... but before... to you" Bernie flashed her a shy smile "Are you sure?... you really don't have to..."

Bernie was very clear in her mind that Serena had to be completely ready to do.... that... She wasn't sure if Serena would enjoy doing it, it wasn't for everyone and even though Bernie loved doing this to Serena, it felt so intimate, she wasn't going to let Serena do it to her unless she was a hundred percent certain. "Yes... I want to... I may need... some... direction" Serena flushed a deep red and started to stroke Bernie's thighs gently.

Bernie looked at her intensely and began to kiss her really deeply, Serena moved her fingers to Bernie's hard nipples and they spent a while kissing slowly, sensually and then more urgently, more frantic, Serena kissing Bernie's stomach tracing her lips over her hips and down her thighs. She didn't want a conversation about it she just went for it and started... Bernie seemed to be enjoying what she was doing and moaned for more... a bit faster... right there....

Bernie crashed back against the sheets totally exhilarated. "Are you sure you haven't done that before...?" Serena was beaming at her, "Was it ok...?" She knew that Bernie had got there but she wanted to hear Bernie say the words. "Ummm.... you know it was more than ok Serena... it was amazing". Serena pulled her close and they cuddled up tightly, happy and buzzing wrapped up in Bernie's navy sheets.


	12. Saturday

Serena stirred and for a second wondered where she was. Oh yes... she was at Bernie's. She turned to look over at Bernie who lay at the far side of the bed still fast asleep looking really peaceful. Serena shivered remembering last night, she turned to check the time on her mobile...9.15am.

They were both off work today as well as tomorrow and had decided to arrange their dinner date for tomorrow evening as they had Monday off from work as well. Serena sunk back under the sheets and looked over at Bernie again feeling full of love for this woman who had turned her life completely upside down in the most amazing way. She was grinning to herself when Bernie suddenly stirred and turned over to face her.

"Good Morning..." Bernie whispered and lay gazing at Serena. "Hi..." Serena gently moved over to snuggle up to her putting her arm over Bernie's stomach and her head on Bernie's chest. They lay there quietly for a few minutes before Bernie moved to get up. "Where are you going...?" Serena looked puzzled. "To make us some breakfast in bed..." Bernie grinned back at her. Serena smiled back and lay back under the sheets, mmm this bed was comfy, she could definitely stay here quite happily.

She must have dozed off as she felt Bernie kiss her forehead and whisper to her "Serena... I've got our breakfast... wake up" she stirred and looked up at Bernie with a lazy smile. Bernie had gone to loads of trouble, she could see a large tray with fruit juice, pastries, spreads, fresh coffee and a.... red rose?

Serena instantly turned to face Bernie "What's this for...?" she looked surprised but felt so happy. "Well.... I wanted to surprise you, I wanted you to remember the first time you stayed at my place... it was really special to me" Bernie shrugged and got under the covers pouring out two china mugs of coffee on the tray.

Serena couldn't breathe, this was the most romantic thing ever, it really took her breath away. "Are you ok Serena...?" Bernie looked over at her and smiled shyly. "I'm perfect... really perfect... thank you so much for that gesture... wow" Serena leant in to kiss her being careful not to disrupt the breakfast items on the tray.

Bernie kissed her back gently and they lazily ate some of the breakfast items that Bernie had prepared being content to smile at each other in silence. "So... do you have any plans for today...?" Bernie was now facing Serena with her arms round her shoulders pulling her into another kiss. She would never tire of kissing Serena it was now her absolute favourite thing to do.

"Well... I guess I should go home later this afternoon, Jason will be back and although I don't want to tear myself away from you, I think it would be kind to spend the evening with Jason tonight if that is ok? I haven't seen him this week and well I'm guessing you have things to do as well as we seem to have spent rather a lot of time together this week..." she grinned at Bernie.

Bernie had expected this and smiled back nodding..."Yes of course Serena you don't have to ask if it is ok, Jason needs you and you need to spend time with him as well by yourselves" Serena smiled back gratefully, they were going to spend tomorrow evening out to dinner at the Italian restaurant they had visited before Bernie had gone away as the food had been really delicious and the wine was... well... very good indeed!

"What will you do this afternoon and this evening...?" Serena gently nudged Bernie's knee and was now stroking her arm. "Well... I'm sure I will find something to do... I'll be fine" Bernie wanted to say 'I will be missing you like crazy!' but she held back not wanting Serena to feel bad about spending time with Jason, perhaps she could meet up with Cam or catch up on sleep? She wanted to feel more energised for their meal out tomorrow evening. She pulled Serena into a deep kiss and held her tightly stroking down her back and along her stomach.

They must have fallen back to sleep as Bernie stirred realising there were pastry crumbs all over the sheets from the tray falling off the bed and the empty fruit juice glasses were on the floor. Serena was still sleeping and Bernie rolled over to check the time... 1.35pm!! Where had the time gone! One minute they were all snuggled up together under the sheets after finishing breakfast and now it was the afternoon!

She wondered whether to wake Serena but she looked so peaceful she decided to leave her for a bit longer and collected the remains of the breakfast items plodding into the kitchen area to tidy up after last night. She kept herself busy trying to move quietly so not to wake Serena in the bedroom. She had just about finished when a sleepy Serena appeared at the bedroom door "Why didn't you wake me...?" she looked tired but happy Bernie thought. "You needed to rest Serena...." Bernie gave her an encouraging smile.

Serena used Bernie's shower and got dressed in the bedroom, Bernie was in the lounge texting Cam to see if he wanted to go for a drink that evening. She had just finished typing out her text when Serena came into the lounge with her bag. Bernie felt really sad that she was going in a minute but tried not to show it. Serena came over to her on the sofa and leant in to give her a hug, she rested her head on Bernie's shoulder and whispered "I love you..." Bernie closed her eyes taking in the words and held her tightly whispering "I love you too".

They walked to the door and shared a lingering kiss before Serena left to get in her car. This felt awful Bernie thought, her heart ached, what was this feeling? Emptiness when Serena wasn't around her. She kept the smile on her face until Serena's car had gone and she plodded back into the lounge sinking down onto the sofa.

Serena walked through the door to find Jason heading up the stairs. "Auntie Serena!" he looked so happy to see her Serena's heart melted. "Jason! How are you...?" Serena went towards him and gave him a hug. Jason came back down the stairs and followed Serena into the lounge. "How was Alan? Jason...?" Serena sat down and put her feet up. "He was fine Auntie Serena he said hello to you we had a nice time".

Serena found her mind wandering back to this morning when Bernie had put a rose on the breakfast tray, she had kept it and took it out of her bag wrapped up carefully. She went to get a glass from the kitchen to put it in. "Did Bernie give you that...?" Jason had followed her into the kitchen. "Yes she did" Serena was blushing and turned away as she didn't want Jason to see her grinning. She put it on the windowsill and looked at it remembering what Bernie had said.

"Would you like to watch some TV with me tonight Auntie Serena...?" Jason looked at her eagerly. "Yes Jason... of course I will" Serena smiled at him and took her things upstairs. She looked at her mobile, should she text Bernie to say she had got back home, she wasn't sure, maybe she should leave it, she hadn't said she would. She left it a while and looked at her phone again, should she text now? She was meant to be spending time with Jason and she also thought Bernie should have some time to herself as well but this felt weird, she missed her and wasn't sure if she should be in contact or not. This was ridiculous, she told herself to put her mobile down and go and spend time with Jason.

She made them both some tea and they settled to watch some programmes on TV together that Jason had recorded during the week. Her mobile flashed on the table to indicate a text and she casually got up to get it. "Is that your girlfriend...?" Jason chuckled teasing her. Serena laughed and shrugged her shoulders. She saw it was from Bernie and sat back down smiling. "It is isn't it...?" Jason piped up. Serena didn't answer him she read the text and grinned 'I couldn't wait any longer... I tried... missing you far too much... say hi to Jason xx'


	13. Sunday (Before the Dinner Date)

Bernie stirred and turned over under the cool sheets. She had slept well and realised she had actually been asleep for around ten hours, totally unusual for her, she must have needed it. She had spent the previous evening at the gym for a quick workout then crashed in front of the TV. Cam had cancelled last minute to meet up as he wasn't feeling well. She lay back on the pillow thinking about Serena, she missed waking up with her so much, her bed felt cold and lonely, there was no warmth that only Serena bought to her life.

Bernie checked her mobile and there was a text sent from Serena at 11.30pm last night, she must have fallen asleep and not replied. She smiled to herself as she read it 'Hope you are ok, Jason has just gone to bed and heading there myself now, hope you managed to relax this evening, miss you, can't wait to see you tomorrow xx'.

Bernie stretched underneath the sheets and typed a reply straight back 'Sorry, I fell asleep early last night, hope you slept well, miss you more... can't wait to see you later, what time would you like me to come over? I can pick you up? xx'. She got up and made some breakfast in the kitchen, some pancakes and coffee. She thought about the evening ahead and was very much looking forward to them having dinner out together.

Her mobile flashed with a reply from Serena 'No miss you more... would you like to stay over tonight after dinner? Jason will be here but would like you to. Come round 5ish? We can have a drink here before dinner? xx'. Bernie smiled and before settling down at her laptop for a bit sent a text straight back 'Perfect... can't wait... see you later xx'.

Serena beamed when she read Bernie's reply, she was still laying in bed lazing around as there wasn't anything she had to do for a bit. She could hear Jason vacuuming the upstairs landing and his room. He often did the housework, mainly because he liked things ordered, clean and he didn't mind doing it as he knew it helped Serena out not having much time with being at work most of the time.

Serena thought ahead to this evening, she felt nervous again feeling ridiculous, why was she nervous now? Maybe she should go and get some food from the shops, yes that's what she would do, things were needed for the evening and tomorrow morning. She got up, showered and dressed quite quickly for Serena and headed down the stairs with her bag. Jason came out of his room as she was on the stairs. "Do you want anything from the supermarket Jason?" Serena was moving down the stairs as she spoke and was grabbing her keys from the hall table. Jason said that he wanted to go with her and went to get his coat from the coat hook by the door.

At the supermarket Jason insisted on pushing the trolley while Serena looked for the items, he always teased her about how long she took to pick things, this time was no different as she wanted things to be perfect when Bernie was round. "Come on Auntie Serena, you are taking ages" Serena was looking at the alcohol section and was wondering about getting in some other drinks as well as the trusty Shiraz. In the end she opted for a bottle of Jack Daniels, she knew Bernie sometimes drank that and also picked three bottles of good quality Shiraz up and put them in the trolley.

Jason noticed the Jack Daniels and asked why she was buying it. "Because Bernie likes it Jason and she is coming round later". Jason grinned at her "Oh yes you are going on a date tonight aren't you Auntie Serena". Serena just smiled at him looking embarrassed as he could be quite loud when he spoke and it wasn't what she wanted broadcast around Sainsburys.

Jason picked up some magazines to read at home and Serena got some breakfast things for the next day. After Bernie had gone to so much effort at her place it was the least she could do! They unpacked the shopping together when they got in and Jason made two cups of tea for them. They sat down at the kitchen table and Jason started chatting away about the TV shows he was watching at the moment. Serena smiled at him taking in his enthusiasm and also making sure he knew she would be out this evening but that her & Bernie would be home later reminding him that Bernie would be staying that evening. "You are alright with Bernie staying here Jason?" Serena spoke softly looking at Jason to gage his reaction, she could always tell what he was really thinking.

"Yes Auntie Serena, I like Bernie and she makes you happy... I like it when she stays over" he spoke very matter of fact, Serena liked this about her nephew, he spoke his thoughts as they came into his head. Serena gave him a huge smile and got up giving him a brief hug. She checked the time... better start getting ready.

Bernie had gone back to sleep for a bit, she had spent time browsing online for a bit and then decided to rest. She wanted to feel her best for the evening ahead and she got up around 4pm. She took her time in the shower and chose her best white shirt for tonight remembering the way Serena had looked at her when she wore it all those months ago. Yes she felt nice in it and knew Serena had liked it.

She chose some black trousers and a smarter jacket she only wore occasionally as it was a bit more dressy than she usually picked but it looked nice. She felt butterflies as she looked in the mirror, applying perfume and eye make up carefully. Why was she nervous? Things were going brilliantly, better than she could ever have hoped, this was real and true and she knew what they had was so special.

Serena had a very long shower, she wanted to make sure she felt her best and the hot water of the shower relaxed and made her feel calmer. She dried her hair and picked out what she was going to wear... black trousers and her black top like the other night but this time she put on some nice black and silver beads to dress it up with a long sleeved red cardigan, this was one of her more dressy looks and she would put on her black coat with the fur trim, there that would look nice but not over the top, she knew Bernie preferred understated most of the time so she didn't want to look or feel out of place. Looking in the mirror she applied her make up carefully and added a spritz of perfume.

At 5.05pm there was a knock at Serena's door, Jason hurried to open it as Serena was still upstairs. "Hello Bernie, come in...". "Hi Jason, how are you?" Bernie was smiling at him as she stepped into the hall. "Auntie Serena.... your girlfriend's here" Jason shouted up the stairs. Bernie felt really embarrassed but just continued to smile at him. "And she's bought you flowers" Jason continued to yell up the stairs, he didn't know which room Serena was in up there now so better make sure she heard him! Bernie shuffled her feet and looked up the stairs waiting for Serena to appear. Suddenly there she was... looking stunning coming down the stairs and beaming at her.


	14. Sunday Evening

Serena stared down to see Bernie standing by Jason in the hall holding some pink passion flowers wrapped in paper. Her heart flipped and melted all at the same time. She thought Bernie looked gorgeous and gave her a beaming smile. "Hi..." she whispered. Bernie grinned back and Jason followed them both through into the lounge sitting down next to Bernie on the sofa.

"These are for you..." Bernie handed her the flowers smiling at her. Serena's cheeks flushed, "They are truly beautiful... thank you" she knew she was blushing. "I don't mind if you kiss each other" Jason spoke very matter of fact, "I've seen you do it before and I am fine with it". Bernie looked at Serena and they both burst out laughing. Jason didn't pick up on what they were laughing at, he never seemed to get what some people called 'inside jokes'.

"Auntie Serena bought you some Jack Daniels today in Sainsburys, would you like some Bernie?" Jason was grinning at Bernie now his eyes darting between her and Serena. "Umm..." Bernie was looking cautiously at Serena and she was shrugging her shoulders giving her a beautiful, intense look. "Yes ok then... just one though" she chuckled, "I am driving us to the restaurant Jason so I think that will be it for me".

Serena walked over to the sofa holding out the glass to Bernie their fingers brushing. Serena was smiling at her shyly and turned to give Jason a can of coke she had got from the fridge for him. She carefully opened one of the bottles of Shiraz she had bought earlier and poured herself a large glass. "I thought we could get a taxi tonight so we can both drink... and relax..." Serena spoke softly. Bernie nodded and looked shyly back at her.

"So have you two been on a date before?" Jason was asking Bernie with a quizzical look on his face. "Umm...not officially..." Bernie chuckled thinking back to the meal they had shared at the same restaurant they were going to this evening a few months back while they were both privately figuring their feelings for each other out. "Have you been on many dates before Bernie?" Jason was digging now and Bernie wasn't sure how to answer. "Well... I was married for a long time Jason". "Yes to a man, I know" Jason was looking at her with a very puzzled expression. Serena jumped in and changed the topic of conversation swiftly seeing Bernie's discomfort.

"Jason...why don't you go and get your camera to show Bernie some of the photographs you have been taking, he's getting really good..." she turned to give Bernie a 'sorry' smile. "Ok Auntie Serena" and with that Jason disappeared out of the room and upstairs. "I'm so sorry about that..." Serena sighed and sat next to Bernie turning to gently kiss her while they were alone. "It's really ok Serena.... don't worry" Bernie was kissing her back more intensely while she had the chance.

Her fingers moved to Serena's face and stroked her hair gently. "I hope you like the flowers... they are passion flowers, I thought they suited the occasion..." Bernie was whispering into her hair now and Serena shivered her eyes shining and smiling as Bernie pulled her into another kiss. "I love them... thank you". "You look beautiful by the way..." Bernie was whispering to her just as Jason appeared with his camera.

"Auntie Serena spent one hour and thirty six minutes getting ready Bernie, she took a really long time". Bernie flashed a grin at Serena. How embarrassing, Serena wanted the floor to open up so she could gladly disappear. She didn't mind Bernie knowing she had made an effort but come on... that was a really long time to be getting ready to go out for dinner. She felt her cheeks burn and saw that Bernie was now giving her a gorgeous smile, they gazed at each other until Jason interrupted their moment by showing Bernie his photo's.

Serena left them to it and went to top up her wine glass in the kitchen. She felt nervous and took some deep breaths, this was crazy, why was she so nervous? After a few moments she was aware that Bernie had entered the room shutting the door quietly behind her moving towards her and taking her hands. "Are you ok..." she was looking at Serena with such care and concern in her eyes, Serena felt her heart melt. "Yes... god that was embarrassing".

Bernie gave her a sympathetic smile and then her face broke into a gorgeous grin "Well... I definitely appreciate the one hour and thirty six minutes of effort that went into you looking this stunning" she gave her a wink and then followed up with "But Serena..." Serena looked up at her "You look stunning anytime and every time no matter what you are wearing". Serena's lips broke into a smile and pulled Bernie into a hug whispering "So do you... you always look gorgeous".

Jason suddenly came through the door with his hands over his eyes. "I know what you are doing in here... I just wanted you to know you are going to be late to the restaurant, you only have 16 minutes to get there for your reservation". Serena was smiling at him now, Bernie had pulled away from Serena the moment Jason had come though the door and they were both standing there as if they had been caught by their parents doing something they shouldn't have been doing!

Serena went back upstairs to fetch her bag and Bernie finished off her drink putting the empty glass into the sink. Jason was getting his dinner out of the oven that Serena had cooked for him. Bernie felt her heart melt, Serena was so lovely, in everyway and really thoughtful. She quickly phoned for a taxi and got her jacket from the lounge. "I hope you have a nice evening Jason... see you later" Bernie smiled at him and touched his shoulder as he sat down to eat. "Have a nice date with Auntie Serena" Jason grinned back at her.

They got to the restaurant and were seated at the same table as last time. Bernie had booked this specific table when she had made the reservation earlier in the week, partly as it meant something to them but also because it was in a quieter spot away from the speakers so they could talk. Serena thought it was lovely that they had the same table, it took her back to that evening they had spent together flirting shamelessly a few weeks after Bernie had kissed her for the first time.

They took a look at the menu and ordered some wine from the 'extensive' wine list that Serena had liked so much on their last visit. Bernie turned to Serena and whispered "Have whatever you would like Serena, this is on me." Serena looked at her and shook her head "No Bernie it's quite alright". "Absolutely, this is me treating you... I asked you out for dinner and... well... I want to spoil you".

Serena felt bowled over with how Bernie had made her feel this week, she felt she had more than made up for the whole Kiev thing. They playfully argued about who was paying until Serena relented because the waiter was ready to take their orders. She went for the same risotto dish as last time as it had been so delicious while Bernie opted for the seafood pasta. They both gazed at each other smiling and sipping their drinks.

"Can I ask you something..." Serena whispered, she actually felt more relaxed now they were actually here and she had had some more delicious wine. "Yes... of course..." Bernie smiled at her over the top of her wine glass. "I might regret this but it's something I have been thinking about... and well...", "Go ahead..." Bernie felt more relaxed as well now.

"Well... I was just wondering about the woman in the army... Alex?" Bernie looked at her with an intense expression. "Yes...?" Bernie hadn't actually thought about Alex for a while especially over the last week. She had crossed her mind briefly when she was in Kiev but only as a casual thought. "I guess I wanted to know... well... were you.... did you.... love her?" Bernie sat back in her chair and looked at Serena thinking carefully before she replied "Umm... I thought I did briefly at the time I guess... but... it wasn't love... it was more being experimental with a close friend who had feelings for me".

She stopped and stuttered before wondering whether to continue. Serena got the hint that there was more to be said and encouraged her "Go on....?". "Serena you don't really want to hear about this, i'm sure..." Serena sighed "Want to hear it.... no.... need to hear it... yes... I guess I need to know that part of your past to know... well... you...".

Bernie smiled shyly at her "Well... the thing was... Alex and I were great friends and she... well... kissed me one night when we were drinking and alone in the unit office, it went from there really. I want you to know that I felt really bad about cheating on Marcus Serena, I.... well... needed to get it out of my system I guess but... I realised that being with... a woman... well it was... me... being my true self I guess". Serena reached to hold her hand across the table, she could tell this was difficult for Bernie to talk about.

" I know I won't want to hear the answer to this next question but...." Serena started to speak but then stopped herself. Bernie looked up at her from under her soft messy fringe "Yes...?", "Did she... love you?" Bernie looked down and didn't answer, she didn't want to say it. "Ah ok....." Serena felt a twinge of jealousy in her heart but composed herself, she had after all asked the question and as Jason often said... you should be prepared for the answer if you ask a question! They sipped their wine nervously now and soon their meals arrived. They ate quietly...

Bernie suddenly reached for Serena's hand "Serena.... I want you to know... well... how I feel about you... it's totally different to how I have ever felt about anyone else... you do know that right?" Serena relaxed a bit more and smiled at her. "Yes... I guess I do". Bernie started again "When we were just friends and getting to know each other... I have never been as attracted to anyone with the strength of feelings I have for you, it totally scared me, you know that. I actually thought I may have to leave Holby because of how I felt about you and working so closely together... I never thought you would be interested in me at all".

Serena grinned at her then, they both looked more relaxed. "Those were the days weren't they?" Serena chuckled, "Me shamelessly trying to get you to go out with me for a drink.... oh and offering you... arm wrestling... oh and a back massage. You still thought I wasn't interested?" She flashed Bernie one of her best flirty smiles. Bernie chuckled..."I guess... I thought... you were just being... well... friendly?".

"What about me staring at you all of the time then?" Serena was laughing now and sipping more of the wine that was totally going to her head. "I think I was staring at you more.... actually!" Bernie laughed, they both clinked their glasses together. "To us..." Serena said more seriously while gazing deeply into Bernie's beautiful brown eyes. "To our future..." Bernie replied as she gazed back shyly.


	15. Monday Morning

Serena opened her eyes slowly, god her head was pounding, how much had she actually drunk last night? What time was it? She leaned over to check her mobile...10.37am. She suddenly panicked but remembered quickly that they had the day off today, the last day off for the next seven days on day shifts. She turned over lazily under the sheets to see Bernie fast asleep laying on her back. She tried to remember the rest of the evening from when they had left the restaurant but couldn't quite put everything together in her head. How much wine had she drunk? She very much hoped she hadn't done anything to embarrass herself.

Bernie stirred slowly beside her and Serena leant in close to kiss her hair. "Good morning Serena..." Bernie was whispering with her eyes still shut but smiling happily. Serena cuddled up close to her. "How are you feeling this morning... do you have a headache?" Bernie was grinning still with her eyes shut.

Oh god... how much had she drunk last night, Serena quickly felt worried but tried to stay calm. "Do you remember what happened when we got home last night Serena...?" Bernie was half whispering now and half shyly giggling. "Urrr.... not really?" Serena was very embarrassed now, oh god what the hell had happened. "Well.... Jason got quite cross with you... do you remember seeing him?". "Urrr.. no...?" Serena suddenly sat up staring at Bernie with a pleading expression. "Oh don't worry.... it wasn't that bad.... he just told you to be quiet.... and you were giggling at him". "Were we being very loud then when we came in?" Serena was still looking at Bernie with a worried expression. "I guess... we had... woken him up... he looked cross but you were laughing".

Oh god, this was mortifying. Poor Jason. Why had she laughed at him, this didn't feel good. Serena couldn't remember anything come to think about it. She couldn't remember seeing Jason last night or how she had got to bed. She thought back to the meal and then remembered why she had had more to drink than her usual number of glasses. Ah yes... she had asked Bernie about her relationship with Alex and it hadn't made her feel good. She could then remember ordering another bottle of wine. She looked at Bernie with an embarrassed half smile.

"Come here..." Bernie pulled her into a cuddle. "You weren't that.... bad and we weren't that.... loud... you may need to apologise to Jason though... he stomped back upstairs last night after he told you to be quiet and you were giggling". Serena suddenly reached for her mobile from the bedside chest and typed out a message to Jason, she knew he would be at work now but often checked his phone on breaks.

Bernie looked over at Serena's worried face, last night had actually been quite funny. Serena very tipsy and flirty was brilliant to observe and Bernie had very much enjoyed herself despite the awkward conversation topics at some points during the evening. She had never been good at conversations like that it felt uncomfortable but she was determined to push past her limited comfort zone for the sake of them getting to know each other deeper and for the sake of what they have, this was far too precious to mess up in any way at all.

Serena went downstairs to make them some breakfast, she felt a bit queasy but wanted to take care of Bernie and felt she needed some fresh coffee. She found a note on the kitchen table from Jason by the fruit bowl 'Auntie Serena you woke me up last night, you were being very loud, glad you had a nice time with Bernie but in the future could you be quiet when you come in from your evenings out with her. Jason'

Serena smiled to herself, she knew he wasn't that annoyed really, a fish and chips supper later would win him round quickly.

"There you go..." Bernie was smiling at her from under her messy blonde fringe seeing the note. "Everything's fine... how's your head now after some... coffee?" Serena was feeling a little better now things weren't so bad with Jason, she really would never want to upset him, she thought too much of him.

Bernie was tucking into some pancakes that Serena had made for her, she hadn't realised how hungry she was, these tasted amazing! Serena was sipping her coffee slowly and leaned back onto the headboard. "I'm really sorry Bernie..." she began. Bernie turned to look at her with a puzzled expression. "I shouldn't have drunk so much wine last night, I'm guessing you know why I did..." Bernie didn't reply just pulled her into an intense kiss whispering "It's fine... I adore everything about you... Serena".

Serena smiled shyly back and leant her head onto Bernie's shoulder kissing her cheek gently. Her mobile flashed on the side and she braced herself for the reply from Jason. Her face suddenly relaxed 'It's ok. I forgive you. Jason'

Bernie pulled her down to where she was laying and stroked her face gently, "You can stop worrying now and... kiss me..." Serena leant forward and pulled Bernie into an intense and urgent kiss. They were now caught up in emotions, deeply kissing each other and not holding anything back. No words were needed, they knew what each other liked now and felt more confident with each other. Things got heavier and Bernie pulled Serena's top off laying her down so she could take her own pyjama trousers off.

Things were frantic this time, no nerves just complete bliss for both of them, knowing what each other craved and going there together.

They lay in each others arms content and fulfilled afterwards wrapped up in the sheets. Bernie looked at Serena intensely and whispered..."I'm so unbelievably happy..." Serena let out a slight gasp at Bernie's words before settling on what she wanted to say herself..."I have never been this happy... before... ever".


	16. Late Monday Afternoon/Evening

Bernie stirred not quite knowing what time it was or where she was for a minute. She seemed to be on Serena's sofa in the lounge in her pyjamas. "Hello Bernie" Jason was staring at her from by the door of the lounge with... Celia his kind of girlfriend. Jesus, Bernie suddenly jumped not knowing what was going on. She tried to think really quickly before answering Jason. Serena was laying with her head in her lap also in her pyjamas. What time was it? Oh god her hand was down Serena's top, she must have fallen asleep, although Serena was fast asleep herself with her hand under Bernie's top resting on her stomach.

"Jason hi... and hi Celia... how are you both?" Bernie tried to act normal feeling anything but. "What time is it..." Bernie was trying to reach for her mobile on the side without waking Serena. "It's 5.30pm Bernie. We have just come back from work." Serena suddenly stirred looking up at Bernie smiling, not realising that they had company. "Ummm.. Serena... Jason and Celia are... here" Bernie was whispering.

Serena turned instantly to look at where Jason and Celia stood by the door, her mouth wide open not knowing what to say. "What are they... doing?" Celia was talking quite loudly to Jason, they were still standing near the doorway. "Oh they touch each other a lot because they are in love" Jason spoke very matter of fact. "Can we have some tea soon Auntie Serena?" Jason seemed to have forgiven her after last night.

Serena still didn't know what to say, Bernie was trying not to smirk, not very successfully! Serena tried to remember how they had ended up on the sofa in the first place, oh yes... they wanted to cuddle up and watch a film for a couple of hours not realising they would both fall asleep. Serena collected her thoughts and then tried to act naturally..."Yes Jason... of course... I was thinking of getting fish and chips for tea, would you both like that?". Celia's face immediately lit up nodding, she loved fish and chips and Jason agreed that that would be nice.

"Bernie are you staying for tea?" Jason came over to them now and plonked himself down next to Bernie on the sofa. "Umm.... if that's ok with you Jason?". She wasn't sure really what was happening that evening and whether she was going back to her flat or staying here with Serena, they hadn't discussed it but she was of course hoping she could stay. Serena beamed at her forgetting for a moment what had just happened and concentrated on the fact that Bernie was happy to stay there for tea... with her... with all of them.

Bernie excused herself and went upstairs to have a hot shower, she couldn't stop thinking about Jason and Celia standing looking at them laying on the sofa together, Serena would be so embarrassed, she however felt it was funny.... now! She was smirking to herself as she enjoyed a long shower. When she entered the bedroom, Serena was laying on the bed with the pillow over her head. "Please tell me that didn't happen..." Bernie started chuckling and landed on her side of the bed pulling Serena into a playful kiss tickling her slightly. They both ended up collapsing into giggles, tears rolling down Serena's cheeks. It was really funny, embarrassing but hilarious!

Bernie quickly got dressed as she knew Jason would want tea immediately and headed downstairs to take them to the fish and chip shop while Serena had a shower. Serena gave a her a deep, long kiss before she left, tearing herself away from this woman was getting harder and harder.

They all ate tea together round the kitchen table, Serena still blushing but Bernie completely relaxed. She had got them all a selection of fish, chips, sauces and side orders. Jason was chattering away about work and Celia was talking about her mum and dad as well as her job.

Bernie gave Serena a playful smile and caught her eye. Serena flashed her a smile back but clearly was still embarrassed. "Auntie Serena, can Celia stay tonight?" Jason suddenly piped up while he was devouring a pile of chips. Serena looked over at Bernie shrugging her shoulders. Jason was an adult and as long as Celia was ok with it she didn't have a problem. "Is this what you want... Celia?" Serena was concerned that Celia did what she wanted to do no matter what Jason wanted. "Yes Serena I would like to, if that's ok with you?". It was all settled, Celia would sleep in the other bed in Jason's room, she didn't feel ready to share his bed yet.

Serena and Jason cleared away the tea things leaving the two 'guests' to relax in the lounge. Bernie and Celia settled to watch some TV and were chatting comfortably when Serena bought them some cups of tea in. Jason went to sit on the other smaller sofa asking Celia to join him. They sat there holding hands but not sitting too close as Jason preferred some space. Celia understood this and was very accommodating to his needs. She was happy to sit like that and they looked relaxed and comfortable.

Serena wasn't sure how to sit with Bernie. She sat on the edge of the seat on the other sofa but she didn't feel comfortable after earlier to sit back comfortably.... yet. "Auntie Serena you can cuddle up to Bernie we don't mind..." Jason always went straight to the point and she knew he was fine with her new relationship but she wasn't sure how Celia felt so she hesitated, looking at Celia for any reaction. "Serena it is fine, I know you are together and you should be able to relax in your own home" Celia gave her a big smile.

Bernie then pulled Serena into a cuddle, her arm round Serena's shoulder and Serena's arm round Bernie's stomach, this felt a little strange doing this in front of other people, especially Jason and his girlfriend but Serena tried to make herself relax, Bernie didn't seem to have any issue at all which felt nice. Serena looked up at her softly whispering "Will you stay tonight....?"

Bernie smiled down at her, her eyes shining..."Yes...of course, I'll take us into work in the morning though as I will have to collect some things from my flat on the way. We will need to get up a bit earlier, is that ok...?" Serena smiled back at her, stroking her cheek, lightly putting a whisp of soft blonde hair behind Bernie's ear. "That's fine darling...".

The next episode - Parasite - happens then where they turn up at work together in Bernie's car after getting up really early to get to Bernie's flat before work.


	17. The Evening of the Episode Parasite (what we didn't see!)

After one round of drinks in Albie's with Cam and Serena Bernie was ready to call it a day, it had been a long one and very surprising what with Cam turning up to work on the ward. That was a complete shock as he hadn't mentioned it to her. They had texted a few times since she had returned from Kiev but he hadn't been well when they were meant to go for a drink so she had assumed the next time she would see him would be when they caught up soon, he had said he would be in touch.

She grabbed her jacket from over the arm of the chair and gave Serena a look indicating she was ready for them to go. Cam wanted to stay on for a bit with Jasmine and some other friends he had at the hospital so Bernie gave him a quick hug and left to walk to her car with Serena walking beside her. It had gone really cold and Bernie pulled her coat up round her to give her a bit more warmth. Serena was quiet, taking in how Bernie had been with Cam today on the ward, fairly brusque and controlling but none the less the Bernie she loved was there, really just wanting him to do well and generally very pleased to see him. 

After not being able to be alone together all day Serena was aching for some contact and once they got into the car she put her hand on Bernie's leg leaning in to give her a kiss. "Serena..." Bernie kissed her back with force, they hadn't kissed since very early this morning and it was so difficult to keep their hands off each other at work, both having to extremely concentrate on their jobs not wanting to be unprofessional.

They broke apart breathing heavily, Bernie started the car and before turning the steering wheel to set off she looked deeply into Serena's eyes. "Would you please stay with me tonight...?" Serena didn't need to think twice..."Of course I will...", her fingers were now stroking Bernie's fringe out of her eyes and she planted a kiss on her cheek. "I will need to go home to get a few bits first though is that ok...?".

Serena knew this new arrangement would be fine with Jason as Celia was staying on another night and she knew he would be pleased to have the house to themselves knowing where to reach Serena if he needed to. Jason was getting much better at last minute changes of plan, he had had to get used to it with Serena's unpredictable job and as long as he knew he could contact her he was adjusting well.

They arrived at Serena's to pick up a few bits. Jason was in the lounge with Celia and they were tucking into what Serena could see was a load of junk food. "Hi Jason..." Serena sat down for a brief chat with them while Bernie used the bathroom upstairs. Serena came up shortly to pack a few bits she would need to stay overnight and for work the next day. Bernie lay down on the bed suddenly feeling sleepy, the day had caught up with her. Serena sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked her arm softly..."Are you ok...? Would you prefer to stay here instead...?"

Bernie nodded sleepily and Serena smiled going back downstairs to tell Jason and Celia that there had been another change of plan. Celia offered Serena some of their crisps, chocolate and biscuits. Jason also letting Serena know that she could help herself as well as Bernie to what they had bought. Serena smiled to herself, that was really quite sweet of them and she chose some of the biscuits to take up for Bernie.

Serena checked they were both ok and headed back up the stairs with two cups of tea and the biscuits. Bernie was fast asleep on the bed when Serena got into the bedroom, she was snoring softly and her nose was twitching. Serena thought how adorable she was when she was sleeping. She hadn't really seen her asleep much because it was usually Bernie who awoke first in the mornings or it had been too dark to see any expressions on Bernie's face. Serena sat down on the bed to drink her tea and found herself just sitting and watching Bernie's face, mesmerised by how gorgeous she was.

She heard Jason and Celia come upstairs, Jason talking loudly and then his bedroom door shutting. Serena got herself ready for bed in the bathroom where there was more light, she had just left a lamp on in the bedroom so not to wake Bernie if possible. She climbed under the sheets and lay watching Bernie for a few moments before her eyes were closing. She made sure she set another early alarm for them to go to Bernie's before work. This was getting into a pattern Serena smiled to herself, maybe they should have a night apart tomorrow? Maybe she should stay at Bernie's? Maybe they should organise themselves a bit better with actually having what they needed on them!

She didn't care, the usually highly organised Serena was enjoying the unpredictability of this new romance, it was all exhilarating, exciting, new, beautiful. She wouldn't swap it for anything. She turned off the lamp and heard Bernie snore a bit louder. She cuddled up to her and put her arms round her feeling safe and completely content.


	18. Wednesday

Wednesday had been such a busy day on AAU, many patients needing expert care and theatre had been hectic with them both working tirelessly to save someone all afternoon. They were successful after endless patience and skill and finished their shifts exhausted with Bernie complaining of back ache. She had been standing in the same position for what seemed like hours while they had worked together in theatre and she was now feeling extremely sore.

"Why don't I massage you tonight?" Serena spoke softly as she was tired herself but couldn't bear ever seeing Bernie in any pain. Bernie gave her a gorgeous appreciative smile, god this woman was so selfless, Serena was clearly tired too and always put herself last. "Bernie... you are welcome to stay with me tonight and I will take care of you..." Serena was now smiling at her and offering to make it all better... how could Bernie ever resist. She gave a tired nod to Serena and whispered "Thank you..." they were both now alone leaving theatre and collecting their things from the office.

Serena text Jason to see if he had finished work and he came along to join them after a couple of minutes. He seemed cheerful and chatty, looking concerned as he saw Bernie in pain. "Are you ok Bernie?" he was really so caring sometimes. "Back playing up Jason, thanks for asking, we were stood up a long time in theatre today" Bernie gave him a smile. "Well I hope you are coming home with us tonight" Jason took her arm and Serena felt her heart melt with appreciation. He really was very sweet.

They drove home with Jason chatting about Celia, he was missing her but happy she was his proper girlfriend now.

When they got through the door at Serena's, Jason helped Bernie through to the large, soft sofa in the lounge while Serena took everyone's bags and coats to hang up. Jason knew it was sausages for tea tonight, one of his favourites. Serena was allowed to vary the meal slightly though, sometimes they had them with mash, onion gravy and vegetables and others like tonight she had put them in a casserole. Serena put the tea in the oven and made them all some drinks. Jason was happy to watch TV with Bernie while Serena pottered around in the kitchen.

Supper was served in the lounge on large trays and Jason chattered away about the latest historical documentary he had put on. Bernie was interested in history too so was able to chat away with him while Serena smiled at them both feeling content to sit, eat and listen to their opinions. She felt tired but happy completely relaxing seeing the two of them getting on so well as they had done the moment they had met. They had an understanding that made Serena's heart swell and she could relax knowing how much Bernie cared for her nephew too.

They finished eating and Serena got a couple of painkillers for Bernie to take, she made them all a cup of tea and was happy to finish watching another documentary that Jason had chosen. She thought Bernie had endless patience with him, more than herself at times and she put her feet up allowing Bernie to lay her head in her lap while she stroked her hair gently.

When it was getting later, Jason headed up to his room to play on his computer before bed. He had kindly washed up the tea things and even put everything away straight after, he could be really helpful around the house and appreciated Serena cooking for him. Serena pulled Bernie up gently off the sofa and they headed up to Serena's room holding hands but walking slowly as Bernie was still stiff and fairly sore.

Serena went to the en suite to get some thick expensive body massage butter she had. It had a gorgeous fragrance and she knew that Bernie would like it. Bernie lay down on the bed removing her top and thanking Serena for doing this. "It really isn't a hardship..." Serena was kissing the back of her neck while applying some of the body butter to her fingers. She began to work on where Bernie had pointed to which was the area of issue.

Bernie was moaning softly when she found the right place exactly... god this was completely turning Serena on...she had to focus on helping Bernie to feel better not the thoughts that were flying through her head.

Bernie offered to take her bra off but Serena felt flustered and said she should keep it on. Bernie turned her head to look at her and gave her a puzzled look. "Umm...I need to help you to feel better and if I take your bra off then I am going to end up more aroused than I am already..." Serena was blushing now. Bernie flashed her a grin..."Ok... bra stays on... I am completely buzzing now though... that this is turning you on...". "Of course it would...!" Serena explained to a beaming Bernie that anytime she touched her it lead to her mind wandering...

Bernie chuckled taking in the fragrance of the buttery consistency that Serena was massaging her with.... mmm... it smelt like a spa... fresh... luxurious... very Serena. Come to think of it she was feeling turned on herself... maybe Serena should stop. "Umm... that feels amazing... thank... you... you can stop now though don't worry" Bernie was speaking softly and slowly her face on the pillow feeling relaxed.

"Am I hurting you...?" Serena was suddenly worried that she wasn't doing a good job or worse making it more painful! "No no..." Bernie stuttered "... you are making me feel very... you know... aroused". Serena smiled to herself, she couldn't see Bernie's face as she had her head in the pillow but she suddenly couldn't help herself anymore and undid Bernie's bra slowly.

Bernie rolled over and they began kissing hotly, Serena finishing to remove Bernie's bra, her fingers heading straight for Bernie's extremely hard nipples. She began kissing over them, sucking them gently while Bernie was taking off Serena's top in one move and dragging her trousers down. My god this was hot...

Bernie was beyond capable of stopping now... her back seemed a bit better after the massage not that she cared... this was too intense and she really needed Serena naked right now.

Serena was now kissing Bernie's soft lips slowly taking in her naked top half and stroking down her arms, checking when her eyes met Bernie's that this was ok. Bernie pulled her down to lay on her back and took her bra off... sensually. They were now unable to stop even if they wanted to, both caught up in overtaking desire and both needing more from each other...

Afterwards, Serena lay with Bernie's head on her chest, the sheets were tangled but they didn't care. The body butter container had fallen off the bed but at least the top was on... they lay quietly looking into each others eyes. "Is your back ok...?" Serena whispered. "I think it will be fine" Bernie chuckled, "Thank you for that amazing massage and well... the extras!" Serena blushed but her eyes were shining.

Bernie snuggled into Serena's neck. "Are you sure you are real..." Bernie was whispering now. "The last time I checked yes... I am real" Serena was smiling at her..."We are real". Bernie pulled her into another loving kiss and whispered back..."I love you... so much."


	19. Thursday

It was another busy day in AAU on Thursday, Serena was now back in the office having a quiet sit down for five minutes before finishing the paperwork she had to get done before going home. Bernie was still busy in theatre and they had agreed to spend the night apart tonight anyway as Bernie wanted to catch up with Cam and Serena thought it was a good opportunity to spend time with Jason and Celia as they were staying in tonight.

Jason appeared with a coffee for Serena. He was finished for the day and was happy to wait until she had finished the paperwork off. He sat in Bernie's office chair and sat waiting patiently. He took out a magazine from his rucksack and began to happily occupy himself. Serena was tired when she had completed the necessary admin and left Bernie a note by her bag before her and Jason packed up their things and headed for the car.

When they got in, Jason went straight up to his room to get ready for Celia coming over, he wanted to have a shower and put some nicer clothes on which Serena thought was sweet.

She busied herself in the kitchen putting some marinated salmon to bake in the oven as she knew fish dishes were Celia's favourite! It had been one of those days and she poured herself a glass of Shiraz now she could relax at home. Her mind wandered to how Bernie was doing, hopefully she had finished in theatre now and was heading straight to meet Cam at a local pub for a bite to eat. She checked her mobile and there wasn't a message yet so she carried on getting the tea things ready.

The doorbell went and Jason practically ran down the stairs to open the door. Celia was stood there looking lovely, she had dressed up a bit and Serena smiled at her as she walked through to the lounge. "Hi Celia... how are you?" Serena wanted Celia to feel welcome at her home and wanted her to feel relaxed. Celia grinned and said she was fine and it was nice to see Serena. Jason took Celia's hand and they went to sit down on the sofa.

Serena went back into the kitchen and tried to stop herself checking her phone again. After a minute she couldn't help herself... there was a text from Bernie now...'Theatre went fine, just left work, missing you, thanks for your note very sweet, text you later seeing Cam now xx'. Serena smiled and stopped herself replying with soppy words, she put her phone down trying to pull back a bit on their evening apart. She didn't want to smother Bernie.

Bernie arrived at the place she had arranged to meet Cam, he was already there and had got her a drink! "Mum... good to see you" Cam gave her a brief hug and smiled at her. Bernie returned the hug playfully messing his hair in the process. "How are you mum? Have you just finished your shift?" Cam could be really caring and really did care how his mum was. Bernie settled into a conversation about work and how today had gone in theatre, she knew Cam was interested in the ins and outs of operations and she explained the procedures she had done.

They chatted easily and Bernie caught up with Cam with how he was finding working at Holby and how Charlotte was doing lately. Bernie had sent some texts to Charlotte when she had returned from Kiev but had only had brief replies not really giving anything away about her life. Cam explained that he had told Charlotte recently about Serena and she was fine with it. She was just still getting used to things and the divorce with Marcus, she would come around soon, Cam was certain and told Bernie to be patient. Bernie gave him a smile and they ordered some food off the menu.

Serena, Jason and Celia tucked into Serena's fish dish sitting at the kitchen table. Jason and Celia chatted away happily, Serena happy to listen and add the odd comment. She was tired and missing Bernie but also happy to see them being so cute together. "Would you like to stay tonight Celia?" Serena looked at her smiling. Celia replied that she had to go home that evening as her mum needed her to do some things tomorrow. Jason looked cross but Serena gave him a look and he instantly changed his face to a more neutral expression.

They finished off eating and settled back into the lounge drinking cups of tea. Jason allowed Celia to pick something to watch which Serena thought showed progress and she sat with them to watch one of the soap opera's Celia was chatting about. Her mind wandered again to Bernie, she would be out with Cam now and maybe she should send a text, after all she hadn't replied earlier.

She typed out a quick text and went into the kitchen to fetch another glass of Shiraz. She offered Celia a glass as her mum was picking her up later and Celia said she would try a drop. Serena saw her phone flash, she went straight away to pick it up, she really couldn't be casual, she wanted to hear from Bernie... 'Missing you Serena, Cam says hi...he asked me more about me and you and I said.... I love you... he laughed, he said it was the first time I had ever said I love anything so you must be something special, he is not used to me being open with feelings, hope you are having a nice evening xx'. Serena beamed at this text, her heart fluttering and breath racing a bit faster.

Jason came into the kitchen to get some crisps and noticed Serena staring at her phone. "How's Bernie?" Jason knew why his aunt was staring so intently at her mobile. "Umm...she's fine thank you Jason...she is out with Cameron tonight". "You miss her..." Jason was always to the point and actually very correct, Serena did miss Bernie whenever they weren't by each others sides. She hadn't felt like this in the past, this ache to be with someone when they weren't around.

A thought suddenly hit her like a punch to the stomach... maybe she hadn't felt this before Bernie because those relationships in her past weren't right, maybe she had thought they were at the time but they didn't feel like this... maybe she was meant to be in this place at this time for everything to be right, maybe she was meant to be with a woman all along, who knows.

All she knew and felt was that Bernie was her true love, this was everything she had ever wanted and dreamed of in a partner, the way she was feeling now. She sank into the chair with confirmed realisation and looked at her mobile wanting to send a reply.

Bernie finished her drink off, she had enjoyed herself with Cam, he was easy to talk to and they actually got on very well now that she wasn't heading off on army tours what seemed like every five minutes. She had the time to get to know him as an adult and she was proud of him and the person he had become. She paid the bill at the bar and Cam mentioned catching up again the week after, he had missed his mother when she had been away for often long periods and wanted to reconnect with her building their relationship. Bernie was delighted that this had come from him and agreed to make time for him on a weekly basis if they could both meet as they both understood the hospital way of life.

Bernie was the one to initiate a brief hug this time and they went their separate ways. Bernie was in two minds of what to do now.... she checked the clock in the car - 8.30pm. Should she go to her flat now, she had agreed with Serena that they would have tonight apart or should she go to the gym? She had some work out clothes in her bag. It was just too tempting to go to Serena's... she hadn't seen her since early afternoon and was aching for a kiss.

How soppy was this.... her Bernie Wolfe wanting to go to someone's house so badly for a kiss. When exactly had she become this complete ball of mush for Serena Campbell... oh yes... quite a while ago. But this was ridiculous, she should know better and she should go straight to her flat.

Celia had just been picked up and Jason had headed to his bedroom to play on his computer. Serena sat on the sofa looking at the empty place next to her where Bernie usually cuddled up to her or sometimes she cuddled up to Bernie or sometimes they lay cuddling or with one of their heads in the others lap. This feeling was emptiness. She... Serena Campbell was a complete romantic... mess, there were no other words for it, completely ridiculous, she shook her head smiling at the thought of Bernie's gorgeous smile.

The doorbell went and Serena looked up slowly walking towards the door, she could see the outline of Bernie through the glass and before she had time to think she pulled the door open..."I needed to see you.... sorry..." Bernie looked deeply into Serena's eyes and Serena pulled her into the deepest of kisses.


	20. Friday

Bernie woke with a start hearing a tap on the bedroom door, she turned over and listened again, yes that was definite tapping. She looked at the time on her phone... 2.07am. She got up carefully off the bed, Serena was still fast asleep. She grabbed a jumper from the chair to pull on over her vest and gradually opened the door. Jason was stood there looking really pale. "Jason... are you ok?" Bernie looked at him whispering quietly. She shut the bedroom door behind her and switched on the landing light.

"Bernie I feel sick... and really cold" Jason was shivering. Bernie took him back to his room and they both sat down on his bed. She put her arm carefully around his shoulder. "When did you start to feel ill Jason...?" Bernie was whispering so that Jason would keep his voice low so not to wake Serena across the landing. "I woke up 18 minutes ago and didn't feel right."

Bernie gestured for him to get back into bed and fetched a container from the kitchen to put by his bed, she also got him some water and stayed with him for a bit while he dropped back off to sleep. When he had eventually fallen into a deep sleep Bernie carefully closed his bedroom door behind her and tiptoed back to Serena's room. Serena was still fast asleep and Bernie watched her for a minute or two before closing her own eyes, the image of Serena's beautiful face still in her mind.

At 7am Serena's alarm went off, she turned over and looked at Bernie sleeping peacefully on her side. She watched her breathing for a few minutes and smiled to herself thinking of how Bernie had come round last night just technically for a kiss, her heart had melted at this and maybe she had... technically.... obliged to more than a kiss...

She showered and got ready for work, there had been a call from Raf late last night that one of them was needed in today after all and Serena had offered as Bernie was scheduled on now to work the next two days over the weekend because of someone being off sick.

She saw Jason downstairs when she was making some breakfast and he didn't look too good. "Good morning Jason... are you ok?". Jason shook his head and leaned over the sink, Serena quickly rushed to him and rubbed his back gently, "Are you going to be sick...?" she asked with concern. He shrugged his shoulders, "I thought I was going to be sick very early this morning but I wasn't, I just feel it. Bernie looked after me while you were asleep."

"Did she...?" Serena thought of Bernie looking after Jason in the middle of the night and not waking her and her heart leapt with love. "Bernie got me some water and made sure I was warm. She also stayed with me until I fell asleep. She is kind."

Just as they were still discussing how Jason was feeling, Bernie appeared in her pyjamas looking sleepy but was clearly looking for Jason to see how he was. "Jason.....how are you feeling this morning...?" Bernie was really concerned if he was still not feeling very well. She went to him and touched his shoulder lightly. He told her he still felt sick and sat down at the kitchen table.

Serena leant to give Bernie a kiss..."Thank you for last night..." Bernie just smiled at her and went to make Jason a cup of tea. "I will look after Jason today Serena... you get off to work when you are ready... I can stay here and make sure he is ok...?" "But... it's your day off...you are working the next two days..." Serena frowned at her concerned. "It's really fine... I am happy to help... if you don't mind me being... here". Bernie shrugged her shoulders and gave Serena another heartfelt smile.

Serena gave her a tight hug and whispered "Thank you..." into her hair. She held onto Serena tightly and gave her another kiss. Serena went back upstairs to get her work bag and brush her teeth then she was down stairs and grabbing her coat about to head out of the door otherwise she was going to be late. Just before she left Bernie came through to see her off pulling her into another kiss by gently pulling on Serena's scarf to bring her closer. "You smell... gorgeous..." Bernie whispered into her ear and Serena smiled at her shyly before calling through to Jason that she would ring to check on him later.

Bernie sat down with Jason at the kitchen table. Jason said he still felt sick but didn't feel like he was actually going to be. He didn't feel like any breakfast but was happy to sip the cup of tea Bernie had made for him just the way he likes it. He smiled at her and said he was going back to bed for a bit. Bernie fetched an extra blanket from the cupboard to make sure he stayed warm.

She delicately looked through the fridge and made herself some eggs for breakfast putting on some fresh coffee, keeping herself busy by cleaning round and putting some laundry on for Serena. When checking on Jason after half an hour and seeing he was fast asleep, she quickly wrote him a note and pulled on yesterday's clothes. She would go to the small supermarket round the corner for some bits while he was asleep.

She put on her coat and before shutting the door made sure she had the spare key Serena had left out for her in her pocket. It was a five minute walk to the local shop and Bernie managed to pick up some lunch things, evening meal bits as well as some soup and magazines for Jason. She felt pleased with what she had managed to get and casually headed back to Serena's.

Serena had been rushed off her feet during the morning, she eventually managed a ten minute break and shut the office door behind her sinking down into the chair for a rest. Her thoughts turned to Jason and Bernie and she reached for her mobile. When she got through to Bernie on her mobile, after checking on Jason, she checked on how Bernie was...she was missing her and so grateful for her staying with Jason. Bernie reassured her everything was ok and said to text her as she left so she could make a start on dinner. After all they hardly ever finished shifts on time!

Before ending the call Serena whispered..."You are amazing..." into her phone and she could tell Bernie was blushing on the other end, they hung up and Serena managed a quick bite of her sandwich before heading into a no doubt just as busy afternoon.

Bernie checked on Jason at lunch time, he was still in bed but really wanted some of the soup she had bought. He said he felt a little better but still under the weather. Bernie prepared the soup in the kitchen along with some sandwiches for herself. Jason plodded down the stairs and lay on the sofa in the lounge. Bernie had put another blanket on the sofa and made him another cup of tea. "Thank you Bernie" Jason smiled at her and they settled to watch some TV together.

Jason happily on the smaller sofa and Bernie laying down on the larger one that usually held both her and Serena wrapped round each other in some form. She thought of Serena at work... and looked at the space she usually occupied in Bernie's arms where she was currently sat.

She must have fallen asleep as she was awoken by her mobile indicating a text and as she looked round she realised Jason wasn't there anymore and it was darker when she glanced out of the windows. She realised Jason must have gone back to bed and she picked up her phone from the side realising it was Serena to let her know she had finished for the day and was looking forward to coming home! Bernie smiled at this and got going straight away, she wanted to make Serena a nice meal after she had been at work all day and knew that Jason would just want something small if anything so she got out the ingredients she had picked up at the shop earlier and set about cooking a Spaghetti Bolognaise.

The key went in the door and Serena stepped into the hall, something smelled incredible...what was that? Bernie came through to see her, pulling her into an intense kiss, Serena's lips still cold from walking just from the car to the door, it really had gone colder outside. "I think your lips need... warming up" Bernie kissed her softly... then... hungrily, Serena melting into her and pulling her gently towards the nearest wall. They were totally making out like teenagers now...

"Where's Jason...?" Serena mumbled in between kisses. "Upstairs..."Bernie confirmed back indicating that he wasn't going to witness this! Serena carried on kissing Bernie, Bernie pulling away now remembering the pan on the stove with their dinner in and gently kissed Serena on the nose taking her hand and pulling her gently into the kitchen.

"That smells so good..." Serena took her coat and scarf off casually putting them on one of the kitchen chairs. She joined Bernie at the stove where she was stirring the Bolognaise.

Jason appeared in the kitchen then, he was feeling a bit better and not sick anymore but had a slight stomach ache. Serena went to give him a brief hug and they both sat at the table chatting while Bernie finished off the dinner. Jason decided he would have a small portion of what Bernie was cooking as it did smell 'brilliant'. Bernie smiled, she felt happy taking care of Serena and Jason like this. She hadn't been a 'housewife' or particularly domesticated. She was an army medic, surgeon but this new side to her made her smile.

She didn't need to ask if Serena wanted any Shiraz, the look on her face told her she had had a busy day and she automatically poured her a glass while making some more tea for Jason, he seemed to be enjoying these as much as anything today. She dished up the Bolognaise sauce with some spaghetti and grated some parmesan on top, there that would be fine. They all happily tucked into their meals. "I didn't realise you are such a good cook...." Serena was smiling at her. "I'm not Serena... thank you but it is just Bolognaise". Jason agreed that it tasted 'very nice indeed' and Bernie smiled at them, maybe it was good after all.

After dinner, Jason went back up his room, he was going to read and then try and sleep after not getting much rest last night. Serena kissed his head gently and said he was to come and get her if he didn't feel well during the night. She thought Bernie had done more than enough during the day and she was due at work over the weekend so needed to sleep tonight.

Bernie cuddled up to Serena on the large sofa. Serena took her hand and twisted Bernie's fingers gently so they were holding hands. Bernie looked up and gazed into Serena's eyes. "Thank you again Bernie... for today". Bernie shrugged her shoulders and smiled back up at Serena, her head was now on Serena's shoulder. With Jason now up in his room they began kissing, softly, gently, sensually... Bernie pulled away and looked at Serena again..."How about I run you a relaxing bath... you must be tired after work today..." Serena looked at her with a smirk..."Really...? A relaxing bath or an...indecent one...?"

Serena flashed Bernie an incredible smile and Bernie was then gone.... pulling Serena up off the sofa and taking her hand, they didn't stop until they reached Serena's bedroom and shut the door behind them. They knew Jason wouldn't come in, he knew they needed private time and respected knocking and waiting...

Serena went to get the bath ready and Bernie was laying on the bed on her stomach looking at her, she couldn't tear her eyes away, Serena was stunningly beautiful.

Serena came back into the bedroom to find Bernie just in her underwear laying on the bed, she was giving her a flirty smile and Serena felt instantly aroused, my god... this woman could arouse her with just a smile now....

They actually finished undressing quite shyly around each other before sinking into the deep warm bubbles. This was luxury... heaven... bliss... and all the other words that described feeling perfect...


	21. Saturday

Bernie's alarm went off at 7am, she gently stirred to find Serena asleep on her chest. She smiled and stretched her arms carefully moving Serena off her but trying not to wake her in the process. She heard a small snore from Serena but she noticed that she was still asleep and smiled getting up and heading for the shower. Serena had a gorgeous shower and Bernie relished in being able to use it instead of the very average one in her flat.

As she dressed for work in the bathroom (so not to have to put the bedroom light on) she pulled on the clean workout clothes she kept in her bag as she was going to be in scrubs today so it didn't matter. She then crept downstairs so not to wake either Serena or Jason...

Jason was already in the kitchen quietly making some toast and a cup of tea. "Hi Jason... how are you today?". "Good morning Bernie, I still don't feel better but I am not as poorly as yesterday" Jason was very to the point and made Bernie a cup of tea too. They both sat at the kitchen table quietly while they had their breakfasts. "Are you going to work then? I thought you had time off this weekend?" Jason looked puzzled. "I need to work because we have two doctors off sick now" Bernie smiled at him. "Serena isn't working though so if you need anything...". Jason returned her smile.

Bernie said goodbye to him and collected her work bag from the lounge, she had packed it before going to sleep so she could just rush out this morning. She went upstairs to leave a note on Serena's dresser and took one last look at the women she loved sleeping peacefully wrapped up in sheets. She hoped she would be finished around 8pm later but it was never a given with their type of work.

Serena stirred around 10am, she turned over to see Bernie's note as soon as she had put the bedside light on. She instantly missed waking up with Bernie but smiled as she read the note...'You looked beautiful this morning, miss you today, can't wait to come back to you later, should finish around 8pm, will pick up a takeaway for us all on way back xx'

Serena felt so lucky to have Bernie, how had this happened... one minute she seemed to have to cope with everything on her own and to be honest she had been fairly lonely especially before Jason came to live with her. But now this wonderful woman had appeared at the hospital one day and they had instantly become firm friends. Then well... there was just this intense understanding love between them... it felt so incredible.

Serena got up and headed down to the kitchen to make some breakfast, the day stretched in front of her. She wondered if Jason felt any better and while the kettle was boiling she went through to the lounge where she thought she could hear the TV.

"Auntie Serena..." Jason looked up from what he was watching and gave her a huge smile. "How are you feeling today?" Serena went to sit beside him on the sofa and looked at him with concern. "Better, but still not 100%" Jason spoke quieter than usual. Serena gave his shoulder a gentle rub and asked if he needed anything. Jason shook his head and he lay down on the sofa continuing to watch some documentary he was halfway through.

Serena went through to the kitchen to finish making her coffee. She took some yogurt and fruit out of the fridge and put it all on a tray going back through to where Jason was to keep him company. Her mobile flashed after a minute indicating a text, she didn't think it would be Bernie, she knew she was due in theatre most of the day today. Her face smiled when she saw it was from Raf...

'Morning Serena, know you have today off, me too, would be good to catch up, fancy a coffee? Don't worry if you have plans. Raf'. Serena thought it would be really nice to catch up with Raf, their shifts had been different lately and they hadn't had a proper chat for ages. She asked Jason if it was ok if Raf came round here later and he agreed. He was planning to rest and get completely better and Serena didn't feel like going out and leaving him today.

She quickly typed a text back to Raf that he was welcome to come round this afternoon for a coffee and she headed upstairs to have a shower. Jason had fundamental use of the main bathroom and Serena liked to use her en suite now he had moved in so she had more privacy. She enjoyed a long, lazy shower and got dressed leisurely. She checked her phone and Raf was going to come round about 2pm. She smiled, that would be nice. She knew Jason would chat for a bit and then occupy himself in his bedroom, he was very good at that if Serena had a friend round or now when Bernie was over and Jason seemed to know when to leave them alone for a bit.

At lunchtime, Serena made Jason some soup as that was what he fancied and she made herself some chicken wraps with salad. They ate quietly in front of the TV, Jason had a blanket over his lap and was engrossed in an old episode of Doctor Who. She watched him enjoying the show and smiled to herself. She thought of Bernie in theatre and hoped everything was going well.

At 2.10pm, there was a tap on the door. Serena went to open it and saw Raf standing there with... cake!

"Hi Raf..." Serena gave him a brief hug as she hadn't seen him properly for a while, they had of course passed each other at work, in theatre and in the car park occasionally but not to have a proper chat that was non work related. "Come in... Jason isn't very well still so I hope you don't mind coming here...I didn't really want to leave him."

"It's fine Serena..." Raf came into the hall and Serena hung his coat up. She showed him into the kitchen and made some coffee's. "I thought we might need some cake..." Raf smiled at her. Serena smiled back nodding her head.

"So how are you Serena...?" Raf looked at her with a smile. "I'm really well..." Serena flashed him a smile. Raf had an incline that things had progressed with Bernie since she had come back from her work secondment but hadn't had chance to really chat with Serena about it. He knew that Serena was quite a private person but they had a close friendship and an understanding where they felt they could chat honestly with each other. "How's thing's going with Bernie...?" he asked cautiously.

Serena smiled shyly at him and cut them some cake, putting the pieces on two plates and bringing over the coffee's. "It is completely.... wonderful" she gave him a beaming smile. "So it is what you want then...." Raf was beaming back at her. "Yes it is..." Serena took a sip of her coffee.

"How are you Raf...? How's things at home?" She knew that Raf often felt stressed having Fletch and the kids staying with him.

"It's good, just... you know... a break is nice" he smiled at her and relaxed sipping his coffee too.

He took a deep breath...."Can I talk to you about something..?". Serena nodded "Of course you can...". "I like... someone... who well...is a...has been a...patient". Raf took another deep breath and his shoulders relaxed now he had said the words. "Ah...." Serena smiled at him encouraging him to say more. "I really like this woman Serena... I want to help her...she has issues... but well there is something between us."

Serena listened to what else he had to say and continued to nod and listen. Before she had a chance to say anything Jason appeared. "Hello Raf...." Jason came in to the kitchen to get a snack and a coke from the fridge. "Hi Jason... how are you mate?" Raf gave him a smile. "I'm not very well, I am getting better though" Serena gave Raf a smile and Raf nodded telling Jason that he hoped he felt better soon. Jason left then and headed back upstairs.

Serena took a deep breath and they continued chatting about the 'patient' Raf liked. He didn't say the name so it wouldn't come back on Serena at all later on if anything happened. At the moment he just wanted to talk about it and Serena knew him and gave good advice.

The conversation switched back to.... Bernie. Raf wanted to catch up with where they were at now. He also knew that Serena wouldn't want to discuss this new aspect of her life with many people. He had thought it brave that she had effectively 'come out' to him when they were having a drink that time in her office after Bernie had just left and he knew that must have taken courage even though they were close friends.

"So.... are you two serious now...about making a go of it together?" Raf hesitated, he didn't want Serena to feel uncomfortable. Serena smiled at him, "Yes we are very.... serious" she smiled to herself and Raf raised his eyebrows in an affectionate way at her. She laughed and nodded..."Yes... that... is happening" she blushed a deep red and Raf nodded a curious expression on his face. Serena suddenly laughed..."You aren't getting anymore details than that..." she playfully hit his arm and he laughed, smiling at her. He was really pleased for her and that she was happy, she had seemed so lost and down when Bernie had gone off to Kiev.

They chatted about work for a bit and then seeing it was nearly 5pm...where had that afternoon gone? Raf got up to make a move. He had a movie evening ahead with Fletch and the kids and needed to get back. He also said he was due at work tomorrow so should go and catch up on some bits. He gave Serena a kiss on her cheek at the door and gave her a smile..."I'm so glad you are happy.." she nodded and smiled back at him. "I won't say anything about... you know... I hope you sort things so you are happy too Raf..." she looked at him with concern and he smiled back before getting into his car and driving off.

Jason came down stairs when he heard that Raf had gone and went straight to the lounge to watch some TV. "Bernie is bringing us a takeaway later Jason" Serena settled down on the sofa next to him..."How are you feeling?".  Jason replied that he was feeling better and suddenly realised that he hadn't read one of his new magazines that Bernie had bought him yesterday so the TV went off and he settled on the sofa to read it. "Is that a new one...?" Serena gently asked him. When Jason said that Bernie had bought it for him at the shop yesterday when she was looking after him Serena wanted to cry, with happiness of course. Bernie was never one to say anything about things she did... she just did them quietly.

At 8.15pm Bernie got into her car after a long day, it had been hectic but the time had gone quickly, she always enjoyed the theatre side of her job the best and was looking forward to going back to Serena's. She collected a selection of Thai take out foods from her favourite place making sure she got dishes she knew Serena and Jason both liked.

Serena opened the door to her and helped her with the bags of food taking them through to the kitchen to dish up on plates. "Hi..." Bernie stopped to give Serena a kiss. Serena melted against her and kissed her back. "I missed you.... how was your day...?" Serena whispered. "Fine... but better now..." Bernie managed a grin even though she was tired. "How's Jason...?" Serena gave her an update while they dished up the food between them onto three plates. Serena got some wine out of the holder and a coke for Jason.

They wandered through to the lounge with the drinks and food on trays. "Hello Bernie" Jason sat up and smiled at her. "Hi Jason... how are you?". "Better thank you" Jason nodded and took his tray that Serena had put together for him with things she knew he would like. They happily watched a quiz show together and ate quietly, the food was really delicious, Serena had thought so when Bernie had first introduced her to it last week. She was willing to try a few new bits this evening and tucked in happily, lazily drinking her glass of Shiraz too.

Serena told Bernie about Raf coming round and Bernie updated Serena on some of the theatre operations that had been cleared that day without going into too much detail. When they had finished eating Serena pulled Bernie into a cuddle and stroked her hair, she knew Bernie must be exhausted and Jason never minded them being affectionate with each other in front of him... within reason of course!

After around only five minutes of doing this Bernie was snoring softly, her head on Serena's shoulder and breathing heavily. Serena looked at her kissing her hair softly and turning down the TV. Jason gave her a look but she pointed to Bernie with her eyes. Jason nodded and smiled. Serena felt complete happiness, she really was so very, very lucky.


	22. Sunday

Serena woke before Bernie this morning. She felt concerned about Bernie working so hard over the weekend as she had been very restless during the night and Serena was worried about her. She kissed her gently awake knowing the alarm would be going off any minute. "Bernie....." Serena was kissing her lips gently, "Bernie...". Bernie started to kiss her back smiling..."Serena..." they kissed for a few more seconds before Serena gently stroked her arm and pulled away. "Did you manage to get any sleep...?" Bernie nodded and looked deeply into Serena's eyes.

"You were restless..." Serena continued to stroke her arm and kissed her cheek softly. "I'm ok Serena.... sorry if I kept you awake...." Serena gave her a sympathetic smile and got up from the bed pulling on her silk robe. "Are you ok to work today...? I can go in instead if you want?" Bernie shook her head fiercely ..."No... Serena... I'm fine... honestly".

Serena went downstairs to make some coffee and pastries for Bernie to have before leaving for work. Bernie showered quickly and got dressed in the bedroom before coming down to the kitchen to have some of the breakfast Serena had kindly made for her. "How about we stay at yours tonight...?" Serena offered kindly..."I think you need some time at your flat... you must have things to sort out, you have barely been there this week... I can stay with you there... or... I can stay here...?".

Serena didn't want to present Bernie with too many questions this early in the morning but wanted to give Bernie chance to be at her place. Jason was staying with Celia that evening anyway so it was an ideal opportunity for Serena to stay at Bernie's. Bernie shrugged her shoulders..."I want to be with you.... I don't mind where we are...". Serena said that she would sort dinner out for later and head over to Bernie's tonight when she had got home from her shift. Bernie smiled at her..."Thank you... I guess I could do with an evening at the flat, just to check on everything."

They kissed intensely before Bernie left, they really didn't like being apart, it was just the way it had worked out over the weekend with shifts and with Serena working tomorrow, they would be apart again. Bernie held Serena tightly to her..."I will miss you today..." Serena squeezed her back..."Same..." she kissed her again and they very unwillingly unwrapped themselves from each other as Bernie was going to be late if she didn't leave now.

Serena watched Bernie's car disappear round the corner and went back into the kitchen to eat her breakfast. She had checked the weather forecast last night and it was meant to be quite a nice day, perhaps Jason would like to go somewhere....he wasn't seeing Celia until tonight and was feeling much better towards the end of yesterday. She pottered round the kitchen for a while tidying up and making a mental note of what she would make at Bernie's for dinner. She would go to the supermarket later on depending on what Jason wanted to do.

Around 10am Jason came into the kitchen dressed. "Jason.... how are you feeling today?" Serena went to him looking concerned. "I am better thank you Auntie Serena." Jason smiled at her and went to make some toast for his breakfast. "Do you feel like going out today....?" Serena was sat at the kitchen table now watching Jason make his breakfast at the worktop. Jason smiled at her...."Yes I know Bernie is working today, can we do something?" Jason sat down next to Serena now tucking into his breakfast. "What would you like to do...?" Serena encouraged him to have a think while she poured another coffee and made Jason a cup of tea.

"I would like to go to a museum as I have been at home for a few days now" Jason suggested as he hadn't been well but was now back to his normal self. Serena nodded and asked him to decided on which one while she got ready. As she picked some clothes from her closet and put them on the bed before heading into the en suite for her shower she noticed that Bernie had left her a note on her pillow... her heart stopped to see Bernie's writing on the post it...'I love you Serena'.

Serena took the note and pressed it to her heart, wow.... Bernie was completely becoming so sentimental... she thought back to the conversation in their office when Bernie had returned from Kiev and how she had said 'I like you... no... I more than like you'. Serena had known that she was in love with Bernie for some time and Bernie felt it so difficult to express her emotions, the word 'love' didn't come easily to her like it did to Serena, this meant such a lot to her, she knew she would keep it forever, so simple but it meant the world.

Before she headed to the shower she typed a quick text to Bernie knowing she would be working in their office for most of the day catching up with the paperwork...'I love you too Bernie, can't wait to see you tonight xx' she smiled shyly to herself as she pressed send, feeling intense butterflies.

When Serena and Jason were both back down in the kitchen ready to go out Jason announced that he had decided on the Natural History Museum. Serena agreed to that happily and they left to catch the train into the centre of London. It was a blustery day but not too cold. They chatted happily walking to the train station, Jason very excited about going to the museum and clearly feeling back to his normal self Serena thought.

The train ride didn't take long, they had taken two seats in the quiet carriage and sat looking out of the window until they needed to get off at the correct stop. After a short walk they arrived at the museum and joined the back of a very long queue.

Jason was feeling impatient, he didn't understand why they had to wait and was becoming anxious that they wouldn't get in. Serena tried to keep him calm and stay relaxed. It was sometimes difficult to get Jason to stay calm when he felt anxious and Serena knew the best way usually was to stay nice and relaxed herself. In the end the waiting time was only twenty minutes and Serena bought Jason a guide book from someone selling them to read while they stood waiting.

They happily wandered round the exhibits, Jason paying particular attention to detail reading facts out loud and being generally very enthusiastic. It melted Serena's heart to see him so happy but had to gently remind him at points that he needed to keep his voice quiet as it was a museum after all and museums were quiet places!

The café was fairly busy but around lunchtime they wanted a sit down and something to eat so again they joined a queue picking up two trays. Serena's thoughts wandered to Bernie at work and she checked her phone while they were stood waiting for some drinks. There was a text from Bernie 'You saw my note then :) work ok, clearing a backlog, miss you xx'.

Serena smiled Jason noticing her staring at her phone. "Is that from Bernie?" Serena nodded and put her phone away wanting Jason to know that he had her full attention. "You know when you were married to Uncle Edward?" Serena gave him a look..."Yes..?" "Did you love him the same as you love Bernie?". Serena smiled to herself at his question..."No" she said firmly "I thought I loved your Uncle Edward but... it didn't feel like how I love Bernie".

She left it at that not wanting to confuse Jason who was looking at her with an odd expression on his face and she was feeling pretty embarrassed. Jason didn't thankfully ask anything further, Serena breathed a sigh of relief, she didn't want to talk about this especially not in a public queue where people where quite close to them and could hear every word!

They both chose what they wanted and Serena paid at the till while Jason chose a quieter table in the corner of the eating area. They sat quietly eating and drinking with Jason studying the guide book for where he wanted to visit next. Serena wrote a quick shopping list on the notepad she had in her bag, she explained to Jason that they would need to stop off at the small supermarket on their way home. Jason nodded and continued tucking into his sandwiches.

After seeing everything Jason had set his heart on, around 3.45pm they left the museum and took the short walk to the station. It was very busy now and Jason took Serena's arm for comfort, he didn't like crowded situations. Serena stroked his arm reassuringly and they eventually got off the train at their stop taking the short walk home via the shop. Serena picked up some items to make dinner and some bits for Jason that he wanted as he was staying at Celia's.

They trudged back home with their bags and Jason went to make some cups of tea when they got through the door. He kindly took the shopping from Serena taking it to the kitchen for her while she took her coat, scarf and boots off sinking into the sofa in the lounge for a sit down.

They drank cups of tea in the lounge together while Jason chatted about staying at Celia's that night. He hadn't stayed there before and Serena talked him through his nervous thoughts. She explained to him that she would be at Bernie's place tonight but that he could contact her on her mobile if he needed to. Jason was happy with this, he was generally more confident these days and tried really hard to cope with changes better than he ever would have done before he moved to live with Serena. He thought the world of her.

Serena went upstairs to pack a few bits to take to Bernie's into a smart leather bag she had but hardly used, Jason went to do the same as he would be heading off to Celia's very soon.

Jason came to say goodbye to Serena in her bedroom thirty five minutes later. He wanted to be there when he said he would and had ordered a taxi without telling his aunt. He knew Serena would have kindly dropped him off at Celia's but he knew she had things to do herself so was trying to become more independent! He felt pleased with himself for taking the initiative.

Serena gave him a hug and again reminded him where she would be that evening and that he could contact her at anytime. Jason left to go downstairs and she heard the front door shut behind him. She continued to gather together some bits she wanted to take with her later on as well as her work clothes for tomorrow. She made the lasagne leisurely for dinner later, she knew Bernie loved lasagne and she used to make it when Elinor was younger and living at home still, it was always a favourite.

At 7.50pm she got a text from Bernie...'Finished! Will be at mine in about 10 minutes so head over when you are ready :) xx'. Serena beamed at this and went to get her bags making sure everything was switched off in the house as she wouldn't be back until tomorrow evening.

The drive to Bernie's didn't take long, they both lived fairly near to the hospital but opposite routes so it took longer for them to get to each others places than either of them to get to work. She pulled up outside feeling butterflies remembering the last time she had stayed here when everything had been completely brand new, she smiled and got out of the car collecting her bags from the back seat. She could see Bernie's car outside so knew she was already home and walked up to where the front door was giving a gentle knock.

Bernie opened the door beaming at her and pulled her into a hungry kiss straightaway. They didn't stop for a few minutes getting totally carried away in the moment..."Missed you..." Serena whispered into Bernie's hair. "Missed you... more..." Bernie whispered back holding on tightly. Bernie took the bags from Serena and they went through to the open lounge/kitchen area. Bernie had lit candles and it looked like she had tidied round a bit even though she couldn't have been in for longer than about five minutes!

Serena took the lasagne she had made out of one of the bags and went to Bernie's oven turning it on to heat up. Bernie came over and looked at the homemade dish smiling..."That looks lovely... thank you for doing it". Serena smiled at her shyly "It wasn't any trouble". Bernie slid an arm round her waist and pulled her into another kiss.

While the lasagne was cooking, Serena talked about the museum visit with Jason and Bernie filled her in on various bits of gossip going on in the hospital. She had also cleared a backlog of paperwork that day so there wasn't much for Serena to do at work the following day unless any accidents came in. Serena smiled gratefully at her and poured them both a glass of wine.

When dinner was ready Bernie got two plates out while Serena put some salad in a bowl and dished the lasagne up. Bernie thought it smelled delicious and happily tucked in, she was feeling ravenous now after not really eating much during her work shift. They ate quietly, just content to be with each other.

After dinner they moved to the couch and Bernie put some music on in the background on her ipod while they continued to chat leaning on each other holding hands. They enjoyed being alone together like this and Serena could fully relax knowing there wasn't the possibility of Jason walking in or needing anything from her. Bernie started to naturally rub Serena's shoulders and neck as they were relaxing together. Serena gave a soft moan telling her it felt...'amazing'.

Bernie had an idea... she said that she would give Serena a massage as Serena had now technically given her two and it was 'her turn'. Serena grinned at her and agreed laying down on the sofa on her stomach shrugging off her long cardigan leaving a black vest. Bernie thought that should be removed as well, after all she didn't want to get oil on it. "Oil...???!" Serena smirked. Bernie blushed..."Yes I may have some.... massage... oil".

Serena raised her right eyebrow, she tried not to think about why Bernie already had some massage oil here. Seeing her face Bernie quickly explained that Charlotte had bought her a birthday gift a while ago from The Body Shop, a gift set which had massage oil in it along with other pampering bits. "I haven't used the oil... Serena... I just remembered I had some, it might be nice to... use."

Serena smiled at her that was better... for a minute she had images of Bernie massaging other people... ok... women with massage oil in this flat. She shook her head telling herself not to be ridiculous. Bernie fetched the small bottle and rubbed it into her fingers before getting to work on Serena's shoulders..."Tell me if the pressure is... ok?" Bernie whispered. "Mmm... it feels really... lovely" Serena murmured. God this felt amazing...

Bernie was gentle but firm and was working on her shoulders releasing any knots and stress away instantly. She could stay here in this moment forever. Fully relaxing she realised she was being very vocal with her moans and stopped quickly. Bernie chuckled..."Glad you are enjoying it... now can I remove your vest... please?" Serena was nodding and allowing Bernie to pull it over her shoulders while she sat up a little her eyes still shut.

Bernie whispered that perhaps she maybe more comfy on the bed and Serena still half closing her eyes took Bernie's hand and stood up allowing Bernie to lead her to the bedroom where she lay down on the soft sheets and instantly felt relaxed again. Bernie took off Serena's trousers carefully and this time was rubbing the oil into her legs caressing them gently running her fingers up Serena's thighs. Serena giggled and opened her eyes at once..."That tickles..." she giggled flashing Bernie a smile. "Ok... ok... back to the shoulders, how about your back now...?".

Serena nodded and lay back down, Bernie slightly straddling her to get a good position. Serena enjoyed this very much, it felt sensual, sexy and well... hot! She knew in her mind where this was heading... and the thrill excited her.

Without saying anything Bernie gently unhooked Serena's bra and let the straps fall onto the back of her arms. The oil smelled really nice, not flowery like something Serena would use but it smelled more like Bernie...fresh...citrusy...subtle. Bernie was becoming so aroused doing this to Serena, this is what dreams were made of for her... wow... complete heaven, she hoped it was having the same effect on Serena...

Serena was moaning softly again now, Bernie was continuing to massage her back moving across to the back of her neck and then down her arms... eventually she couldn't take it any longer and turned over feeling confident enough that Bernie was now as aroused as she was herself.

One look at Serena's hard nipples sent Bernie over the edge and she instantly moved her fingers to caress those instead, Serena's neck flying back in instant bliss and Bernie immediately kissing Serena's neck, her body pressed against her. Serena quickly realised she was the only one partially naked and hurried to remove Bernie's shirt and bra along with her trousers. They were still kissing madly, massage oil all over the place now but they didn't care...

This time sex was completely.... urgent... rapid... intense as always but frantic. Most of the time between them it was slow and sensual but sometimes like this it was an urgency, a need for both of them and it was over very quickly both of them completely satisfied and ecstatic holding onto each other tightly. 


	23. Monday

Serena's alarm went off to alert her to get up for work, she stirred lazily realising that Bernie's hair was in her face, she breathed the gorgeous fragrance of it in... it smelled herbal... intoxicating but comforting at the same time. She knew Bernie sometimes used a camomile shampoo for blonde hair and she must have used it yesterday as Serena could smell it and had probably been smelling it in while she had been asleep.

She smiled to herself thinking how they had fallen asleep with her holding Bernie tightly, this was a beautiful privilege as Bernie had once said late one night before they had fallen asleep that she hadn't allowed anyone else to do that before. She had explained that although Marcus had wanted to many times... she only lasted a couple of minutes before needing space and always moved to the other side of the bed to fall asleep.

Serena remembered the first time Bernie had said this... they had already fallen asleep together a few times and Bernie had either held her tightly or Serena had herself been wrapped round Bernie...

Serena carefully got out of bed trying her best not to wake Bernie in the process. She stepped on a spot of massage oil on the floor and smirked to herself remembering the night before and well... how hot it had been. She used Bernie's shower, got dressed quietly and wrote Bernie a note to leave on the side before leaving for work, she would pick up a coffee when she got there.

Bernie woke up around 10am... she stirred lazily and then remembered that Serena would be at work... she looked round and saw a note left for her by the bedside. Her heart stopped when she saw Serena's writing...it still had that effect. 'Last night was hot, you are perfect for me, miss you xx'. Bernie chuckled at this... yes last night had been... extremely... hot. She was so relieved that Serena felt it was too. Even though she had no doubt that Serena was enjoying herself with her... sexually... it was still nice to hear and be reminded that Serena loved it and found it arousing...

She pottered around the small kitchen area, tidying up and clearing things away. She saw the empty bottle of massage oil on the floor and laughed remembering what had happened. Her mind flitted briefly to when.... once... Alex had tried to give her a massage with oil... she hadn't dared tell Serena last night... and Bernie hadn't enjoyed being massaged with it... maybe it wasn't the massage or the oil but the... person.

She would happily be massaged with anything if it was Serena offering... Serena's skin had smelled amazing... as usual... but all...  soft and silky when they had fallen asleep... in fact Bernie would have happily gone for rounds two and perhaps three... she had felt extremely worked up last night...

Serena had a fairly quiet work day for once... Bernie had cleared up a huge amount of work yesterday so she was able to take it a bit easier today with just some follow ups and general ward work. On a quick coffee break she sent a text to Jason to see how he had got on at Celia's... she hadn't wanted to text him before now as it might seem she was checking up on him and he was an adult after all but if she text now it would come across more as interest rather than concern.

After a couple of minutes Jason appeared in the office on a break himself from work. "Jason... how are you today?" Serena looked up at him smiling. Jason smiled back and chatted about his evening at Celia's house, he had enjoyed it and felt comfortable. He asked after Bernie and Serena said they had had a nice evening at Bernie's place, she smiled to herself remembering the massage oil all over the bedroom after they had got carried away...

Bernie had a long, hot shower and got dressed. She looked at the time and seeing as it was only mid morning she sent a text to Cam to see if he wanted to meet up today for a catch up. Cam answered almost straight away that he would actually be free in the next hour if she could get over to his. He was living with friends at the moment and Bernie offered to pick him up to go out somewhere, his choice.

He replied back saying that would be great and Bernie smiled to herself, that would be nice. She then sent a text to Serena asking how her day was going and casually asking what her plans were for later, she wanted to know where they were staying and if Serena wanted an evening apart or together, she really didn't mind.

Serena was still on a break when Bernie's text appeared on her mobile, Jason was still in the office eating a chocolate muffin and drinking a tea. She casually glanced at the text and typed a reply straight back smiling 'Please can you stay at mine? Don't want to be apart, Jason will be in though, is that ok? I will organise dinner, enjoy the rest of your day off, come round about 7pm? xx'.

Bernie beamed when she read Serena's text, that would be perfect, she could spend some time with Cam today and sort out her stuff to stay at Serena's as well. She felt herself relax and collected her bag from the bedroom to head out to pick up Cam.

Serena finished work around 5.30pm, it hadn't been a busy afternoon so she wasn't feeling wiped out for once, thanks to Bernie's hard work yesterday more than likely. Jason was waiting in the office when she had finished on the ward and she collected her bag before they headed to the car. Serena mentioned that Bernie would be staying that evening and Jason nodded happily. He was feeling quite tired after staying at Celia's last night and then working today so he would be happy to relax in his bedroom mainly. Serena touched his arm and said he could relax with them in the lounge until he felt ready for bed. Jason shrugged "I know, but it's nice if you have some time to yourselves as well Auntie Serena", Serena smiled at him her heart melting.

Bernie had been sitting drinking coffee with Cam for a couple of hours, she had heard all about Charlotte having a new boyfriend, Cam's medical studying, his annoying housemates and what Marcus had been up to. She smiled at him enjoying feeling more part of his life now. He had asked her how Serena was, he said he liked her a lot and could see how good she was for his mum. She had definitely seemed more relaxed, happy, content and emotionally open since her relationship with Serena had started and this could only be a good thing in Cam's eye's. He could see that Serena made his mum very happy and he wanted that for her.

At around 5.45pm, they said their goodbyes and Bernie went back to her flat to freshen up and pick up some things to take round to Serena's. She would pick up some wine on the way too. She was able to take her time getting ready and wanted to make an effort to look nice especially as she had had the day off from work.

At 7.10pm Serena's door went and Jason went to open it as Serena was busy stirring something on the stove top. Bernie came into the kitchen flashing a gorgeous smile at Serena going over to her and giving her a kiss, her nose then pressed into Serena's neck in an embrace. Jason smiled watching them, they really were good together.

"Hi..." Serena whispered. "Hi..." Bernie flashed her another grin. "How was work today...?" Serena touched her arm lightly...."It was fine because.... some kind... gorgeous... woman.... cleared a huge backlog of work yesterday so there wasn't much to take care of." Bernie blushed at her and smiled..."Pleasure".

They held hands while Serena carried on stirring the risotto she had made for dinner. Bernie thought it smelled really good and helped by getting the drinks ready, chatting to Jason as she went about the kitchen easily. "I saw Cam today..." Bernie chatted to Serena then while she dished up..."He said to say hi and told me he really likes you... he said you are good for me...". "Really...?" Serena flashed her a flirty smile.

They were all happily tucking into dinner now and sitting quietly. Jason spoke about Celia and how pretty he thought she was while Serena and Bernie exchanged looks over their wine glasses neither able to really stop staring at each other after the day apart. They had some cheesecake slices for dessert and Jason made them all some tea while Serena and Bernie collapsed together on what was now 'their' sofa.

Jason said Bernie could chose the TV schedule for the evening, Serena gave him a grateful smile and looked at Bernie slightly chuckling. Bernie didn't really watch much TV as in regular programmes as she had never been in a settled routine for very long but she was always happy to crash out and watch whatever took her interest at that particular time. Bernie said that Serena could choose and Serena picked a drama she knew they would all find interesting.

They settled happily to watch it, Bernie with her head in Serena's lap, having her hair stroked lightly, this was heaven... normal evening everyday activities but it felt like home to Bernie...

She leaned up to catch Serena's lips brushing them with her own, forgetting that Jason was sitting there for a minute. "I need to tell you.... I.... you... are... the love of my life Serena." Jason looked at them and smiled, he quietly left the room and headed upstairs. Serena took Bernie's hand lost in this moment with her..."Really?.... really?" she whispered. "Absolutely... no comparison." Bernie kissed her again and they wrapped their arms around each other pulling each other as close as possible only pulling apart to gaze at each other lovingly.


	24. Tuesday - The Day of Glass Houses Episode

Serena woke up to the sound of the alarm, her head was pounding, there was a tightness feeling across the back of her head and she felt awful. She looked across to see Bernie gently stirring with her eyes half closed, it hurt to have them fully open. "Serena... are you ok... you look pale?" Bernie shuffled gently over to her and looked into her eyes while stroking her hair gently. "I have a migraine... I think..." Serena shut her eyes tightly again and complained that the room was spinning a bit.

Bernie was concerned and suggested she take some pills and stay in bed for a while in the dark. "I can take care of AAU today... no worries.... you can't rush around the wards or be in theatre with a migraine... it's fine... let me help and you stay here today..." Bernie was so kind and thoughtful Serena thought, she wasn't used to someone taking care of her so well when she had been in other partnerships, she felt truly cared for with Bernie and it felt wonderful.

Bernie went downstairs before getting ready for work to fetch Serena some migraine pills, water and something to eat. She knew that Serena just needed sleep in a dark room and she was happy to take care of things at work today. She saw Jason coming down the stairs and mentioned to him that Serena had a migraine and would be staying at home. Jason looked concerned but Bernie reassured him that she would be fine after some more sleep and medication. Jason made them both a cup of tea and while Bernie took the things she had gathered upstairs for Serena he also made them some toast.

She came back down to have breakfast with Jason while Serena went back to sleep. Jason was dressed for work but was happy to wait for a lift with Bernie when she was ready to go. "So Auntie Serena is the love of your life?" Jason smiled at her. Bernie suddenly remembered saying that last night to Serena but couldn't remember Jason being there, oh god he must have been, that was kind of embarrassing, she just smiled at him nodding shyly while finishing her toast. "I'm glad" Jason was smiling and put his finished breakfast items in the sink before leaving the kitchen to get his work bag.

Bernie showered in the main bathroom this morning so not to disturb Serena too much and pulled on some clean workout clothes, these would be fine as she was going to be in scrubs today. She fixed her hair and wrote a quick note to Serena to leave on the dresser before heading downstairs so she and Jason could get to work on time.

Serena stirred around 11am... her head felt a little bit better but she felt exhausted, she kept her eyes shut for a bit longer turning over in the sheets. Her face was now on the pillow that Bernie had used and it still smelled of her, her night cream....subtle but definitely Bernie. Serena let herself breathe in the scent for a while remembering what Bernie had said last night in the lounge...'You are the love of my life'.

She shivered, this was huge... Bernie Wolfe could barely say the word love at all, she found it extremely difficult to express emotions and Serena knew this not really expecting grand declarations from her at all. Wow.... she hadn't said it back... why not? Why had she not said that Bernie was the love of her life? Perhaps after a couple of weeks being properly together it was too soon...? Perhaps she would have felt worried it would scare Bernie off? She knew she should have said it back and shuffled back down under the covers.

Bernie had a busy day in the end running the ward, Raf had gone up to Keller to help out and Movern and Fletch had worked so hard with her to keep things ticking over. At around lunchtime Jason came through to the office bringing Bernie a coffee and sandwich. "Jason... hi... how's work going today?" Bernie smiled at him while finishing off some patient notes. "Good thank you, I got you this for your lunch, you must be busy with Auntie Serena off". Bernie thought that was really adorable of Jason. "Thank you Jason..." Bernie took the items he had got for her and moved her work away off the desk for ten minutes. Jason seemed happy to sit quietly with her while they had their lunches.

Serena saw Bernie's note in the afternoon when she had actually moved off the bed for the first time that day, she felt a bit shaky but the medication had done the trick, her head felt better and the room had stopped spinning, always good! She read the post it and her lips broke into a big smile 'I meant what I said last night, hope you feel better when you wake up, text me if you need anything, I will bring tea home xx'.

Serena used the bathroom and plodded downstairs to get something to eat, she didn't feel that hungry but thought she should have something. She settled for some coffee and fruit before laying on the sofa for a bit to doze.

At around 4.30pm she got up to have a shower, she felt much better than she had done now and wanted to feel more like herself for when Bernie and Jason got home. She really appreciated Bernie taking over this morning and insisting she stay at home, she had been right, she couldn't have been in theatre when she had felt like she had earlier, it just wasn't safe.

Bernie and Jason arrived home just after 6pm with some piping hot fish and chips. Jason was very excited that they were having these, they hadn't usually had many takeaways at all before Bernie had become a more permanent fixture at Serena's. Serena thought they smelled divine, just what she fancied. Jason went to put them onto three plates and get the drinks. He was pleased with himself for being helpful as his aunt had been off work today.

Bernie slipped her arms around Serena's waist kissing her gently..."How are you feeling Serena...?" Serena smiled at her lovingly..."I feel better thank you, better for resting and better now for seeing you..." Bernie grinned at her. "How was work...?" Serena was conscious that she should have been there today working in theatre.

"It was all covered fine... don't worry... enjoy your tea." Bernie gestured to the fish and chips that Jason had put on the table for her. They tucked in to the food happily chatting, Jason very content with this arrangement that Bernie was often there now at tea time, he liked it, he liked her, a lot, she was kind to him, interesting and she loved his auntie.

They finished eating and settled on the sofa's. "No shiraz tonight" Jason said firmly looking at Serena. She laughed and said she would be fine with a cup of tea which Bernie got up to make for them all. This time it was Serena laying down on the sofa with her head in Bernie's lap.

Jason was content to sit with them in the lounge on the other sofa for a while. He didn't mind watching them like this, he even didn't mind them kissing each other, he knew he liked to kiss Celia and understood.

Jason said Serena could choose what they watched but Serena didn't mind, she was happy laying on Bernie having her hair stroked and head lightly touched. "How's your head now...?" Bernie whispered to her. "It's much better thank you... I will be fine for work tomorrow". Jason got up to go to the toilet and as soon as he had left the room Serena pulled Bernie's lips to hers kissing her passionately...

"What's that for...?" Bernie gave her a beautiful smile..."You are the love of my life too..." Serena whispered into her hair.


	25. Wednesday

It was Serena's lunchtime and she opened the office door to settle for hopefully at least fifteen minutes away from the busy ward and patients needing her attention constantly. Even with both her and Bernie working on AAU today it had still been hectic what with several accidents coming in. She immediately saw Bernie and Jason sitting in the office finishing off their sandwiches. She smiled at them both and sank down into her chair putting her own salad lunch on the desk.

"Auntie Serena, Bernie was telling me about when she was in Afghanistan..." Jason was eating some crisps now and looking in wonder at Bernie who was sat across at her desk from Serena now eating an apple. Serena gave Bernie a look that Bernie knew, that intense loving look that Serena often gave her when they couldn't express their feelings at work but could read what each other was thinking...

Serena smiled at Jason and settled to eat her salad taking some deep breaths to try and relax as she had felt pretty stressed this morning. Bernie noticed this and said for Serena to take half an hour lunch break, she was nearly finished herself and could make sure everything was ok on the wards. Jason was still smiling at Bernie and Serena smiled to herself knowing how much Jason adored her, he thought she was a hero for being in the army previously and helping to save lives, she thought it was pretty incredible herself and mmm... extremely attractive.

Bernie finished her lunch off and went to give Serena a kiss on her head..."Take your time ok... this morning was busy..." and with that she left to take over on the ward leaving Serena and Jason eating their lunches quietly. Jason soon headed back to the porters office to start his afternoon shift and Serena thought about the afternoon and evening ahead.

Eating breakfast this morning together she had agreed with Bernie that later on she would go for a drink with Raf after work and Bernie would head to Serena's to cook dinner. Jason and Celia were heading out to the cinema tonight and they would have the place to themselves. Bernie had offered to cook Serena a nice dinner and Serena had happily agreed taking the opportunity to see if Raf fancied a catch up straight after work. He had seemed bothered by this patient he liked and Serena wanted to be available for a chat if he wanted to. She had seen Raf briefly before he was in theatre that morning and he had seemed grateful for the chance to chat with her later.

Bernie spent the afternoon mopping up various messes, catching up on paperwork and helping Fletch out with a couple of the more difficult patients. She thought ahead to the evening and decided to cook Serena a steak meal she had made before. She would stop off at the supermarket on the way to Serena's with Jason later and get everything needed.

She jotted down a quick list on a post it she found in her pocket when she had a five minute sit down during the afternoon, she was looking forward to cooking again for Serena, she enjoyed spoiling her and the thought of an evening to themselves made her extremely happy.

Serena left work more or less on time to head to Albie's with Raf. She collected her things from the office and seeing an opportunity pulled Bernie into the office with her for a quick kiss. The blinds had been shut in there anyway as the sun had been blinding during the afternoon so no one would see them. Bernie melted into Serena's arms and got a bit carried away with where her hands were wandering she couldn't help it! Serena was just too irresistible to her.

"See you later...." Serena was mumbling between kisses. "Mmm..." Bernie was murmuring back but they carried on kissing only pulling apart when they heard a knock at the door. "Urrr Serena...are you ready...?" Raf whispered through the door, he didn't want to disturb whatever was going on in there, he had a vague idea... but he knew Serena was a complete professional so it wouldn't be anything too racy!

Serena planted one last kiss on Bernie's cheek and opened the door smiling..."Raf... yes let's go...". Raf noticed that Bernie's shirt was untucked and flashed a cheeky grin at her. Bernie just blushed and smiled back not really knowing how to act. She collected herself and finished off the paperwork before collecting her own things and shutting the office door behind her.

Serena and Raf had a glass of wine each at Albie's and happily chatted about what was happening with each of them. Serena was concerned that Raf was doing ok and Raf assured her things were better, he had pulled back slightly and would see what happened. Serena nodded and touched his arm slightly offering support. Raf was far more interested in her new romance, not that it felt so new to Serena now... in a good way!

Bernie met Jason by the porter's office and they happily chatted walking to her car and during the ride to the supermarket. Jason was always happy to spend time with Bernie, he felt completely comfortable with her and she offered quiet support and guidance if he ever needed it always encouraging him. He picked up some new magazines and drinks for the cinema that evening while Bernie hurried round the aisles looking for the dinner ingredients she needed.

She met Jason at the tills and even though he argued with her about him paying for his stuff she took his items anyway putting them in with hers, she knew he didn't earn that much money as a porter and it was fine with her to make him feel included whenever she could. Jason gave her a hug in the car "Thank you Bernie". "It's ok Jason don't worry about it". They sat quietly during the ride to Serena's, Jason using his key to let them both in and he rushed upstairs to get ready for his date with Celia.

Bernie set about cooking in Serena's kitchen, she had a fair idea by now where things were and she prepared the steaks with a flavoured rub, cutting some chips from the potatoes she had bought and making a sauce to go with it. Jason came down after a bit all dressed nicely ready to head out shortly. "That smells brilliant Bernie" he smiled at her and got himself a coke out of the fridge. "Thanks Jason... are you definitely eating out with Celia before the film...?" Bernie was concerned that he would have some tea. "Yes we are" Jason nodded enthusiastically, he was obviously looking forward to it. Bernie had prepared everything she could until Serena got home so she offered to give Jason a lift to Celia's. He agreed smiling and she grabbed her keys from the table and they set off in the car.

Serena stayed for two small drinks with Raf in the end and then noticing the time she sent Bernie a text saying she would be home in about fifteen minutes. Raf smiled at her..."You look so happy when you text her..." Serena smiled at him and mentioned that Bernie was cooking dinner for her tonight. Raf nodded and smiled back..."You are both very lucky.... you have found each other... and you are both lovely... you deserve happiness". Serena thought this was really sweet of Raf to say and she gave him a hug before leaving to get home.

Bernie got Serena's text when she had dropped Jason off at Celia's house, he had waved at her when Celia answered the door and her heart melted, she really thought a lot of Jason....she had given him some money so they could get a taxi back to Serena's later. It was a win-win situation as Jason would get safely home with Celia later and Serena would then relax knowing he would be ok.

Serena was back home just as Bernie pulled up outside in the car. Serena welcomed her in still in her own coat with a puzzled expression on her face..."Oh I took Jason to Celia's..." Bernie took her own coat off hanging it up and heading straight for the kitchen to put the steaks on. Serena followed her slipping her hand into Bernie's as they both headed for the stove. "This all looks... wonderful..." Serena spoke softly...."Thank you for taking Jason...". "No problem..." Bernie kissed her lips softly turning her attention then back to the dinner. She had to make sure everything was cooked perfectly...

When it was all ready they both sat at the kitchen table eating quietly, candles flickering, more wine for Serena and a Jack Daniels for Bernie. "Jason and Celia will be fine getting back here later... they are getting a taxi.." Bernie didn't mention that she had given Jason money just that he would be fine coming back later tonight so they could both relax.

Serena thought the dinner was divine, Bernie could definitely cook, the sauce was delicate but gorgeous and her steak was cooked to perfection. She took Bernie's hand across the table and stroked her fingers softly. "This is.... so wonderful... thank you... I feel really spoiled...". Bernie smiled shyly at her moving closer pulling her into an intense kiss.

"Serena... I..." Bernie started to speak. Serena waited patiently for a few seconds and then she didn't care.... pulling Bernie back into a deep kiss, her fingers in Bernie's hair and stroking her face. They both got up from their chairs still kissing passionately and Bernie pressed Serena up against the nearest wall, moving to kiss her neck and stroking her arms at the same time.

Serena broke away for a second...."What were you going to say....?" she went back to the kissing...."Serena... I... love.... you" Bernie was whispering into Serena's hair. "I know... you do...." Serena was murmuring between kisses. "No Serena.....I really.... love... you...so... much" Bernie was stammering still kissing Serena and pushing her body against Serena's using the wall to support them.

Serena stopped then and took Bernie's hand pulling her to the sofa taking her own top off seductively and pulling Bernie back into a kiss....

Bernie stopped things for a moment..."What is it...?" Serena whispered. Bernie whispered back...."I fell in love with you... right away.... you need to know that.... now. When I met you straight away... I found you attractive and smart... and beautiful... and witty... and everything I wanted." Serena looked at her intensely..."Really....?"

Bernie nodded pulling her into another kiss, both of them now laying together on the sofa, Bernie's hands wandering to Serena's bra and Serena letting her happily take the lead. "You... Serena... Campbell... are completely... stunning in everyway.... never forget that..." Bernie was whispering as she pulled Serena up and took her hand leading her upstairs...


	26. Thursday

Serena woke gently before her alarm went off which was unusual, she was usually awake after Bernie but this morning once her eyes had opened she couldn't take them off Bernie's shoulders. Bernie's back was facing her... bare, apart from the sheets which were halfway down her back. Serena thought Bernie would be cold when she woke up but for now she couldn't help but stare at her back and shoulders and of course her beautiful hair.

She remembered last night when Bernie had said how she had fallen in love with her straight away trying to hide her true feelings and be a friend. Her mind wandered back to the two other main relationships of her life before Bernie... she had basically chased Edward non too subtly and with Robbie... she had liked him and thought he was a nice guy but there weren't the fireworks like true love. Even just looking at Bernie's bare shoulders... frankly took her breath away...

Bernie had now moved gradually over onto her back, oh Jesus, Serena could see Bernie's breasts now.... bare, soft and... perfect. Oh god she couldn't feel aroused this morning... they had to get up to go to work. She turned herself over with her back to Bernie trying to rid her mind of racy thoughts.... She would get up that's what she would do and have a cold shower... that would do the trick... she turned her alarm off and went into the en suite picking up a soft, fresh towel off the dresser.

Bernie stirred hearing the shower running from the en suite, she quickly realised she was practically naked and on show, feeling a little embarrassed she pulled the sheets up tightly around her and closed her eyes for five more minutes dozing before Serena would be finished with the shower.

Her mind flitted back to last night when she reckoned the Jack Daniels had gone to her head that she had sipped during dinner...oh god...she had basically told Serena she had lusted after her since the moment they met and started chatting... now she felt like a... yes... pervert! In her head it had sounded vaguely sexy...she hoped to god Serena had taken it that way!

Serena opened the bathroom door and came over to Bernie wrapped in a towel, water drops glistening on her shoulders. Bernie pulled her down tickling her slightly and kissing away the droplets gently. "Good morning..." Serena whispered to her, actually glad that Bernie was now more covered up in the sheets otherwise there would be no escaping a raunchy escapade and then they would be hideously late. She pulled herself up and chose her clothes for the day from the closet.

Bernie smiled at her shyly and then got out of bed to take her underwear and work clothes out of her bag heading to have a shower herself but lightly kissing Serena on the shoulder as they passed each other.

With Serena now dressed and with her hair and makeup done, she headed down stairs to make them both some breakfast. Jason usually preferred to make his own but she knew Celia had stayed last night so she half expected to see them in the kitchen. She saw they were sat through in the lounge with the TV on and went through to see them.

"Auntie Serena..." Jason gave her a big smile and Serena went over to him touching his shoulder affectionately. "How was your meal and film last night...?" Serena addressed the question to both of them smiling. Celia replied saying they had enjoyed themselves and slept well. She was heading off soon to work and Jason would wait for a lift from Serena and Bernie when they were ready to leave in a bit. Jason stated that when they had got home actually quite early he realised Serena and Bernie were already in the bedroom. Serena felt her cheeks go red...."Yes.. well... we were quite tired..." She left it at that and turned quickly to go to the kitchen, she did not fancy having the Spanish Inquisition in front of Celia as to why they were in bed early!

Bernie joined Serena in the kitchen when she was ready for work and they quietly ate some pancakes with fresh fruit juice and coffee. Bernie was still feeling a bit embarrassed about her lusty declaration last night and didn't know whether to bring it up, perhaps not.... maybe Serena didn't remember too much either.... she had drunk quite a bit of wine by then and she couldn't have minded too much as they had... well... yes they had gone to bed pretty early for them last night...

"Urrr Serena... is it ok if I meet Cam for a drink after work tonight?" Serena let out a small chuckle...."You don't have to ask me... he's your son... you should catch up with him whenever you want to...". "Thank you... he said he may bring Charlotte with him so it may be... quite a big deal..." Bernie smiled at her. Serena smiled back at her encouragingly, she hoped Bernie and her daughter could get their relationship back on track. "I would like you to meet her... you know... soon. I would like to see her on my own first though to try and well... mend things" Bernie was stuttering trying to find the right words for the situation. Serena just continued to smile at her and reached for her hand twisting it gently so they were now holding hands under the table.

"So may be it would be good for you to stay at your flat tonight then... if you want to.... perhaps you could have something to eat with them?" Serena was very conscious that she was spending all her time now with Bernie and she didn't want Bernie to feel smothered or obligated in any way. Perhaps this might be a good way of them having a night apart? Bernie looked disappointed but nodded thinking this was what Serena wanted. "If that's what you would like Serena... do you want to spend some time with Jason by yourselves tonight...?" Serena shrugged her shoulders, she knew what would happen... Jason would be engrossed in his TV shows especially after being out last night with Celia, he would be tired and Serena would spend the evening missing Bernie feeling totally pathetic!

"It's up to you... darling..." Serena got up and kissed Bernie's cheek putting her finished breakfast items in the dishwasher and going to collect her things from the lounge ready to leave. Bernie came straight through to see her..."Are you ok...? I didn't say anything last night that well...came out wrong did I?". Serena gave her a look... "What do you mean...?" Bernie sat down perching briefly on the arm of the sofa..."Well I remember vaguely saying how much I fell in love with you when we first met and... well.. .I don't want you to think that I purposely... intended to... you know... seduce you."

Serena's face broke into a beaming smile..."Yes I totally remember you saying last night... after three glasses of Jack Daniels... that you practically lusted after me... the moment you met me!" and with that she gave Bernie a wink, picked up her bag, called out to Jason that they were leaving and headed outside to the car. Jason locked up the house while Bernie, before heading to her own car, whispered into Serena's ear carefully out of earshot of Jason "You win... I did" giving Serena a kiss on her cheek.

It wasn't too busy in AAU, they were both on top of patient care and Bernie was in theatre in the afternoon, Serena content to keep things ticking over on the wards. Apart from their romantic relationship, they had always worked so well together at work, a proper team, some staff thought they were a 'force to be reckoned with' which made Serena smile...

Jason came to wait for Serena at the end of his shift, he was happy to wait patiently in the office reading a magazine while Serena finished off some trauma unit paperwork for Bernie. She wanted to wait to see Bernie before they left, wanting to wish her luck in case Charlotte turned up for a drink that evening with Cam. Jason was becoming impatient though she could tell, she would wait ten more minutes then she would have to take Jason home. "Would you like pizza for tea...?" Serena thought it may be nice for them to have pizza's together and watch a film or one of Jason's box sets while Bernie was occupied this evening. Jason smiled at her nodding, he seemed happy that he would get his aunt to himself tonight for a while.

After five minutes Bernie appeared looking tired, she sank down into her chair glad to have caught Serena before she left work... Jason got up to 'use the bathroom' he knew Serena and Bernie were going to be apart that night and perhaps wanted to kiss each other! Serena smiled at him and shut the door behind him gently. She went over to Bernie quickly making sure the blinds were shut.

She pulled Bernie into a kiss and Bernie kissed her back pulling Serena slightly onto her lap. Serena hoped the chair didn't break but in that moment she just wanted to be close to Bernie and leaned into her neck kissing it softly. "How was theatre....?" Serena was whispering...."Ok thank you... successful..." Bernie smiled back at her not wanting to let her go. Her hands wandered to Serena's thighs and she started stroking up them while finding Serena's lips again hungrily kissing her....

"I don't want to be apart..." Bernie breathed into her hair..."I don't want to go back to my flat after seeing Cam and Charlotte... I want to be with you... go to sleep with you..." she looked deeply into Serena's eyes suddenly realising what she had said and looked down slightly embarrassed. Serena beamed at her..."I didn't want you to stay at your flat... I want to go to sleep with you too...." they went back to kissing passionately only stopping when there was a knock at the door..."Auntie Serena can we go now" Serena pulled away quickly, afraid he would come in and see her on Bernie's lap, that would be mortifying!

"Good luck with... you know... Charlotte and... well... come to mine afterwards... whatever time...ok" Serena whispered getting up off the chair and opening the door to Jason. Bernie smiled at her with that adorable smile Serena loved and she left the office with Jason to head to the car.

Bernie met Cam and Charlotte at the local pub for a drink and bite to eat...this was true progress. Charlotte had even instigated a brief hug and looked pleased to see her mum. They all happily chatted and caught up with each other. Charlotte bought up Serena and Bernie was at first shy talking about her but then feeling Charlotte was more on board she expressed how she felt about Serena.

Cam smiled at her encouragingly and Charlotte was nodding along. She had been a daddy's girl so Bernie was not surprised when she had taken his side during the whole painful divorce mess. Bernie was interested to hear about the new guy Charlotte was seeing and Cam was happy to sit and observe this lovely situation where his sister and mother both of who he adored were sitting getting along!

Serena and Jason settled in the lounge with some pizza's to watch TV, he had chosen Doctor Who and said that Serena could chose something afterwards. Serena smiled... she thought Celia was having a good influence on Jason, he was starting to be more considerate of the needs of others which he had found particularly hard when Serena had first met him. She thought of Bernie and hoped she was getting on ok with Charlotte... if she turned up. Jason suddenly piped up that he would like to go bowling... Serena thought this was fairly random but apparently Celia had said she had been recently and enjoyed it and now Jason wanted to go. He had been years ago with his mum and wanted to go with Serena and Bernie...

Serena sighed quietly to herself... she was... terrible at bowling....! The last time she had been.... oh yes... it was with Robbie... one time and it was truly embarrassing... every single bowling ball had end up in the gutter and Robbie had laughed at her non stop, it was not a successful date at all. She was torn.... Jason was looking at her smiling all eager and she had a hunch that Bernie would be good... well certainly not terrible like she was!

"We'll see what Bernie says Jason.... maybe". Serena was now worried, Jason didn't forget things and she knew the minute Bernie appeared later he would ask her and because she was kind and patient with him she would agree whether she wanted to go or not, that's the sort of person she was. There was no getting out of this... maybe she could just go along and watch them both... yes... that's what she would do...

There was a knock on Serena's door around 9.15pm and Jason went to answer it, Serena had told him that Bernie was coming round later and he had raised his eyebrow at her and said "For another sleepover...?" Serena thought this was quite funny actually.

Bernie came through the door smiling, Serena could tell it had gone well tonight and gestured for her to sit down on 'their sofa' next to her. "Bernie said yes to bowling" Jason spoke very matter of fact, Bernie had barely even been there five minutes! Bernie chuckled..."I said we could take him tomorrow evening if that's ok with you..." she was looking at Serena now and before the answer pulled Serena into a cuddle kissing her hair and then planted a kiss on her nose.

Jason was beaming now and came to give Bernie a high five. "She hasn't said yes yet though..." Bernie was looking over at Jason, her eyes then looking down at Serena. "Oh she will come with us" Jason was straight to the point as always and turned to go upstairs shutting the door behind him.

Bernie started kissing Serena's lips now they were alone, her fingers stroking her face. "How did it go...?" Serena was whispering softly. "It went really good thank you, I would like you to meet Charlotte next time if that's ok with you...?" Serena smiled at her. "About the bowling....." Serena was being very cautious now and Bernie was looking at her with an odd expression. "I'm well... not very good... could you do it with him... he is so keen to go again... he went with his mum years ago" she was looking at Bernie now with a pleading expression...

"You can't be that.... bad... it will be fun!" Bernie was grinning at her now, oh god this was going to be completely humiliating. Serena just shrugged and rested her head on Bernie's shoulder..."Do you want some leftover pizza...? Bernie nodded and grabbed the two slices left in the box and went to heat them up. Serena followed her into the kitchen to get them some drinks. "So it was good to see Charlotte...? Was she ok with you?" Serena was looking at Bernie with a thoughtful expression. "It was actually fine... she has really grown up lately and she seems happier, she has a boyfriend who seems good for her and Cam likes him". Serena was making coffee and Bernie nodded that she would like one too, no alcohol for her tonight after last night!

They went back into the lounge, cuddled up on the sofa, Bernie stroking Serena's hair gently...."I told Charlotte... I told her I'm in love with you..." Serena looked up smiling at her, it never failed to make her heart stop when Bernie expressed herself like this, she knew words like that came from deep within Bernie's heart. "What did she say....?" Serena looked anxiously back into Bernie's eyes..."She said she is happy for me and would like to meet you..."

Serena smiled back at her reaching for her hand..."I'm so pleased..." she leaned in to kiss Bernie and they both relaxed into each other content to stay like that for the rest of the evening just being together, that's all each of them truly needed.


	27. Friday

It was lunchtime and Serena was sat in the office with Raf having a quick break. Bernie was in theatre and Jason was eating with the other porter's today, he seemed to have made a couple of friends lately which Serena was really pleased about. Raf was asking about her weekend plans and she mentioned they were going bowling with Jason that evening..."Bowling...? I didn't think that would be your sort of thing...?" Raf was giving her a smirk. "It's not... my thing... Jason really wants to go and Bernie promised we would take him... i'm really not keen" Serena's head was in her hands now leaning on her desk, she was feeling anxious about tonight, it would not be fun at all!

Raf was chuckling now at her obvious discomfort and guessing what was really going on piped up..."She doesn't know how bad you are... does she..?" Serena burst out laughing then..."How do you know i'm bad at bowling...?" she was looking at him now with her right eyebrow raised... "I didn't Serena.... just a guess from your reaction to why you really don't want to go... Serena Campbell does not want to make a fool of herself in front of Bernie Wolfe... who i'm guessing will be good? Have I got that spot on...?" he was chuckling loudly now and Serena just glared at him but then gave him a shy nod.

"Maybe Fletch and I should bring the kids bowling tonight..." he chuckled again and gently hit her playfully on the arm. Serena glared at him again followed by another look ... Raf knew this look... it said you just dare! "Oh don't worry Serena we won't come along... not tonight anyway... but perhaps if Jason enjoys it he could come with us another time." Serena smiled at him then in appreciation settling more comfortably in the chair to eat her salad.

Raf chatted about what he was going to do over the weekend... Serena knew he had the weekend off unlike her and Bernie who were each working one day over the next couple of days. Jason would be staying with Alan tomorrow evening though and Serena was looking forward to staying at Bernie's place.

Raf soon headed back onto the wards and Serena thought again to this evening... was there any way at all she could get out of this? She knew Bernie wouldn't laugh at her but she could foresee endless teasing in her future with the topic being brought up again and again, even affectionately this was not what she wanted to happen! Maybe she could say her wrist was hurting so couldn't use the bowling balls? Bernie would never fall for that though, not after telling her last night that she wasn't any good, why did she have to say that?!

Bernie had a busy afternoon in theatre but felt exhilarated at saving someone who it had been very touch and go with. She was looking forward to bowling tonight with Serena and Jason, she had been a few times with Cam and Charlotte when they were younger and had enjoyed it, she got the feeling that Serena really wasn't keen so she was going to make sure Jason had a good time and enjoyed himself, especially as he had enjoyed going with his mother when he was a child. She was going to pop to her flat after work to check on everything and pick up some bits to stay at Serena's again tonight, this made her smile, it was where she wanted to be... with Serena, wherever she was... Bernie was happy.

Serena and Jason left the office to head for home, Serena had made sure she finished on time so they could get home and freshen up before going out this evening. Bernie had left half an hour ago as she wanted to go to her flat for a bit to do some sorting. Serena understood this...Bernie had been staying at her house mainly this week and she knew Bernie wanted to do some laundry and collect some things. They were going to meet her at the bowling alley later... Serena's stomach turned with anticipation at the thought of it and not in a good way!

Jason was really excited about going bowling...he wanted to go with Serena and Bernie to see how he got on...he knew if he felt more comfortable he could then take Celia or go with his porter friends, he also knew that Raf and Fletch may go with him sometime with the children so he definitely wanted to try it. Serena didn't seem keen he thought...how could anyone not like bowling...? It was fun!

Serena had a quick shower when she got in, she wanted to feel nice and it had felt like a long day today. What should she wear to go bowling? She looked in her closet after coming back through to the bedroom after her relaxing hot shower. She felt better but really didn't know what would be appropriate bowling attire. She wanted to look nice but appropriate. She settled on her dark jeans, a vest and a knitted hooded top she had got a few weeks ago, she knew Bernie liked it when she had worn it before because she liked to snuggle up to her in it, she had also said she liked the colour on her and said she looked 'very pretty'. She carefully re-did her makeup and sprayed some more perfume.

Bernie sorted her bags out when she got to her flat, she seemed to have various work bags with bits of clothes, underwear and toiletries in...she tipped everything out on to the bed and began to sort through the debris. Clean clothes were put into her smartest holdall along with recently bought toiletries and her best underwear. Dirty washing was put in the washing machine... she had an hour before she needed to set off for the bowling alley so that was plenty of time to get that done. She tidied round and went to have a long, hot shower to wash away the day... she wanted to feel nice to go out this evening.

Serena pulled up in the bowling alley car park with Jason. Jason had been happily chatting away in the car on the way, he mentioned going for a burger afterwards which Serena thought was a nice idea, she hoped Bernie would be ok with this. Once inside the bowling alley, Serena still felt nervous, she had nearly resorted to a glass of wine before they left home but thought perhaps that was a bad idea! She could have wine when they got back later, she was guessing she would need it! They sat down at the side to wait for Bernie....

Bernie got to bowling alley on time, she hoped she didn't look too casual, she wasn't sure what she should wear, she wouldn't have bothered in the past much but now she was with Serena and she wanted Serena to think she looked nice. She immediately saw Serena and Jason sitting by the reception bit where you pay. She heard Jason call her name loudly and wave which was sweet.

She gave Serena a quick kiss on the cheek whispering into her hair that she looked pretty. Serena blushed and smiled nervously at her. Jason said they had already paid for two games and Bernie gave Serena a look..."Thank you... but I was going to treat us..." "No this is my treat..." Serena was smiling more now, Bernie thought she looked more relaxed than earlier, maybe she would find it fun after all!

Jason went to get them some drinks from the machine while Bernie typed their names into the screen so it showed up above their bowling lane. She put Jason first then Serena and herself last. "Oh... i'm just going to watch you two..." Serena said very quickly not meeting Bernie's eyes... "Oh no you don't.... you are definitely playing Serena" Bernie was giving her a cheeky look now..."I'll make it worth your while later..."

With that Serena gave her a shy smile and nodded as Jason returned with three drinks. He chose a bowling ball and went towards the line to take his first go. They were allowed to keep their own shoes on as they were all wearing trainers. Jason managed to knock 4 pins down and was very happy with his first effort! He took his second go and knocked a further 1 down. Bernie gave him a high five when he returned to the seats and smiled at him..."Well done Jason".

Oh god it was her turn...Serena got up and chose a bowling ball... come on she could do this... she could operate on people god damn it... she could throw a ball down a lane to hit some pins surely!

The first ball ended up in the gutter and Jason laughed. Bernie gave her a sympathetic smile and encouraged her for her second go. This time Serena knocked 1 pin down... ok that was a slight improvement....

Bernie picked up a bowling ball and got half a strike on her first go... she shrugged her shoulders turning to Serena..."Just luck...." Serena knew it wasn't just luck... she knew before they even got there that Bernie would be good... it was just a hunch. Bernie knocked a further 3 pins down on her second go. Jason gave her a high five and it was then his turn again...

Jason really enjoyed bowling, he did quite well and definitely improved as the game went on and by the second game he was getting some half strikes! Serena still didn't enjoy herself but Bernie encouraged her every go and in the end she actually managed to knock 4 pins down on one of her goes. Jason then gave her a high five - more out of pity she thought!

Bernie however was brilliant at it... she got quite a few strikes and many half strikes. She won both games, Jason coming second and well... yes.. Serena last but that was expected...

They left the alley chatting happily and went to get burgers at one of the restaurants in the leisure park before heading for home. Jason had really enjoyed himself, he talked non stop about the bowling when they were in the car on the way back. Bernie had gone to her own car to drive to Serena's and they arrived back at roughly the same time...

Jason went straight upstairs and as they got through the door after him Bernie pulled Serena into an intense kiss..."You were so cute when you were bowling"... she whispered into her neck. Serena pulled away and laughed..."No.. it was definitely not... cute..I was a... disaster!" she looked back up at Bernie blushing now with embarrassment. Bernie pulled her back into a kiss..."No you were... completely adorable... and you look so pretty... I have wanted to kiss you all evening...".

Serena was kissing Bernie back with force but very aware they were still in the hall... Jason could come out of his room at any moment... she pulled Bernie towards the stairs... Bernie got the hint and they tiptoed holding hands up the stairs towards Serena's room quietly shutting the door behind them collapsing on the bed in a fit of giggles.


	28. Saturday

It was 3.10am and Serena had woken suddenly to find Bernie very restless laying next to her, slightly trembling. "Are you ok...?" Serena whispered. Bernie took a deep breath and explained she had a really bad dream. Serena moved straight over to comfort her taking her in her arms and gently stroking her back. Bernie began to quietly sob.

Serena hadn't seen Bernie let go like this before, she had seen her be on the verge a few times but not actually let tears fall like this. "Ssshhh... it's ok..." Serena was whispering wondering what the dream had been about but scared to ask, she knew Bernie may not tell her or want to talk about it.

Bernie looked up to see Serena looking worried and staring deeply into her eyes. She had woken from this well... nightmare... she had been back in Afghanistan... but this time Serena was there and was badly hurt and Bernie had been trying to save her...

She settled back under the sheets a bit more still holding on tightly to Serena, her arms gripping her waist. They had fallen asleep actually with pyjamas on for a change last night and Serena was stroking down her back gently over her vest. It felt very soothing and Bernie began to relax a bit more telling herself over and over again in her head that it had just been a bad dream and wasn't real... she was here... in Serena's bed with Serena's loving arms wrapped round her... she was safe...

Serena just held Bernie and closed her eyes relaxing a bit more... Bernie would tell her if she wanted to... but in the meantime this felt lovely, cuddling tightly. "Serena... I..." Bernie started to talk, Serena waited as usual for Bernie to think about what she wanted to say..."My nightmare... you were there... in Afghanistan... and you... were... badly hurt... I was trying... to save... you." Bernie was stuttering and whispering at the same time her face still buried into Serena's chest. Serena just held her tightly...

"I can't lose you... Serena..." Bernie still had tears running down her cheeks, it was still dark in the bedroom but Serena could make them out and reached to wipe them away gently. "You are not going to lose me ok..." Serena was whispering back..."You've got me now... and it was just a bad dream... ssshhh". Bernie was still shaking slightly, it had seemed real to her and she just wanted to be comforted by the woman she was in love with. Serena gave the best cuddles and they just lay there quietly holding each other while drifting off back to sleep.

Serena made sure she stayed awake until Bernie had drifted off and then she felt she could relax a bit more. It had unsettled her to see her partner like this, she usually held all her emotions inside and it was a refreshing change for Serena to see this side of Bernie even though she never ever wanted to see her upset.

The alarm went off at 7am and Bernie stirred first suddenly remembering her bad dream that had happened in the early hours and how Serena had been such a comfort to her, god she was lucky... she looked over to where Serena was stirring slowly from a deep sleep. Bernie shuffled the small distance over to Serena's face gently kissing her more awake...

"Hi... how are you?" Serena was looking at her with such concern in her eyes it melted Bernie's heart. "Yeah... i'm... ok... thank you for... you know... earlier... i'm sorry I woke you..." Bernie's face was now close to Serena's on the same pillow and they gazed at each other with shy smiles, Bernie's hands pulling Serena's face to hers in a deep kiss..."You go back to sleep Serena... I'll be quiet getting ready for work..." Serena checked Bernie was ok to work today and Bernie nodded firmly giving her another quick kiss before getting out of bed and pulling the sheets lovingly back around Serena stroking her hair softly before heading to the shower.

Bernie got to work just before 9am, she was now fully alert after a quick coffee, for a full day on the wards including theatre later but was looking forward to Serena staying at her flat tonight. Serena was going to cook dinner and Bernie was just happy to spend as much time with Serena as possible, she missed her when they were apart and actually still had to pinch herself that this was all still real... that Serena had fallen in love with her back and they were together... all... happy and Christmas was coming up soon... maybe they should talk about that tonight. Bernie smiled to herself... she had heard on the wards already how much Serena liked Christmas!

Serena woke around 11am, she hadn't heard Bernie leave for work but suddenly saw a post it with Bernie's writing on stuck to the bedside chest next to her. 'You are amazing, beautiful, kind, wonderful and the best thing to have ever happened to me xx'. Serena smiled at these words thinking back to when she had held Bernie tightly earlier comforting her.

She lay back and thought about Bernie's words some more ... Bernie was the best thing to have happened to her as well. She thought of her at work now and hoped everything was going ok. She got up, pulled on her robe and headed downstairs to get some breakfast.

Jason was in the kitchen making himself some toast..."Good morning Auntie Serena" he smiled at her..."Would you like some tea and toast?". Serena thought this was kind of Jason and nodded. "Thank you... Jason... that's kind of you". Jason smiled again and set to work finishing making breakfast for them both on the worktop. Serena sat at the kitchen table and looked outside to check what the weather was doing.

Maybe as it was quite a nice sunny day she would get out in the garden and do some tidying up. Jason was very good at weeding and enjoyed mowing the lawn, he found it relaxing but she should spend a bit of time out there today then she could forget about it in the lead up to Christmas. It wasn't far away now... maybe she should have a chat with Bernie later about any plans...?

She didn't know what Bernie thought about Christmas, she herself definitely wanted them to spend it together but it was also important to have Jason there and she guessed Bernie would want to spend some time with Cam and Charlotte at some point. She did feel excited about Christmas approaching though... this was the first time in ages she had felt genuinely very happy and in love and Christmas whatever happened would be wonderful this year with Bernie in her life... who was she kidding... Bernie had become her life very quickly!

Bernie's day went quite smoothly, nothing out of the ordinary and the operation she did in the afternoon was a routine one, all normal and she may even finish on time. She planned to get to her flat an hour before Serena would come round so she would have time to shower, change and make everywhere look a bit nicer!

Serena and Jason spent the afternoon pottering in the garden, Jason was happy to provide hot drinks on a regular basis as it was chilly and he felt happy to be helping his aunt and getting some fresh air. He was staying with Alan tonight and at around 4pm he went upstairs to pack his rucksack.

Serena had decided to make Spaghetti Carbonara from scratch for dinner and thought perhaps she would head to the supermarket to pick up what she needed. She called up to Jason to see if he was ready to go to Alan's as she was going to drop him off on the way. Jason hurried down the stairs mumbling about them going to be late and Serena gave him a look before shaking her head and they both set off for Alan's house in the car.

Bernie got back to her flat on schedule and tidied the kitchen area up a bit, she put some fresh candles out and poured herself a Jack Daniels to help shake off the day. She was going to relax now and have a nice long, hot shower before her evening with Serena...

Serena got back from the supermarket, it had only been a quick trip and she had managed to find what she needed easily. She poured herself a small glass of Shiraz while she happily packed all of the ingredients for dinner into a cooler bag she had and went to have a relaxing soak in the bath upstairs to freshen up.

The door went at 7.30pm and Bernie went to answer it knowing it would be Serena... there she was looking stunning as always... smart but still casual in dark jeans, a silk camisole and black lacy shirt. "Wow... you look..." Bernie didn't have chance to answer as Serena had pulled her into a kiss, the dinner things dropped casually in their bag to the floor, both of them suddenly wrapped around each other intensely.

Serena pulled away to take a look at Bernie..."You look gorgeous..." Serena whispered into Bernie's hair collecting the bag of food from the floor and heading towards the lounge/kitchen area. Bernie had lit candles... the room looked lovely and soft music was playing.

"How was your... day?" Serena was chatting away while starting to cook the dinner. Bernie poured them some glasses of wine and began to fill Serena in on updates from the hospital. Serena was nodding along while busy cooking. Bernie came up to her and put her hands on her waist kissing her neck and then moving around to the back of her neck with her lips softly. "Urrr as amazing as that is... if you would like dinner in one piece... you are going to have to let me... concentrate..." Serena was giggling slightly now giving Bernie a beautiful flirty smile.

Bernie pulled away shyly and asked if she could help. Serena shook her head firmly and Bernie went to sit on the sofa while Serena finished off by cooking the spaghetti, the sauce was quick to make and ready. Soon they were both happily tucking in to the food sitting at the table gazing at each other, completely content to have this time to themselves. Serena asked Bernie how she was now after her nightmare earlier and Bernie said she was fine but thanked Serena again for comforting her and making everything better like always...

Serena bought up Christmas in the conversation..."So do you have any ideas on what you want to do for Christmas... it's not long now..." Bernie smiled at her from under her fringe..."I don't mind... I just want to be with you Serena...I am happy to fit in with what you would like..." Serena beamed at her, completely happy that Bernie wanted to spend it with her. "Well... same... I want to be with you... but... what about well... Cam and Charlotte and then there's Jason too".

Bernie knew where Serena was coming from here and nodded along..."Well how about we have a big lunch on the actual day with everyone... is Elinor coming home?". "I think so... she hasn't confirmed yet though so i'm not totally sure... Serena shrugged her shoulders not really wanting to think about Elinor at this moment because she hadn't mentioned to her about Bernie yet.

They ate and drank some more wine..."This is really... delicious Serena... thank you for cooking..." Bernie put her cutlery down and reached for Serena's hand stroking her fingers gently..."You haven't told Elinor yet... have you?" she whispered. "No" Serena answered straight away... there was no beating around the bush here she hadn't mentioned Bernie at all in any of their phone conversations... she didn't know how or what to say really and she knew she had been putting it off.

"Do you feel... ready... to tell her?" Bernie was looking at her now with concern in her eyes. Serena did feel ready and replied that she did but finding the right moment was a problem especially over the phone and well the next time she would see Elinor would be at Christmas... if she did actually pay a visit.

Bernie stroked Serena's arm lightly..."You know... you shouldn't feel pressured to say anything... if you don't want to yet... we don't have to spend Christmas Day together... if it would make things easier for you...?" Bernie was whispering softly and she did really mean it. She would never want Serena to feel uncomfortable in any way at all. Serena shook her head..."No... darling... I absolutely want to spend Christmas Day with you... I will tell Elinor... on the phone the next time we speak... before Christmas... and invite her to our lunch...".

"Our lunch...?" Bernie was smiling now..."Yes our Christmas Lunch... we'll have it at my house so everyone can fit in.." she glanced at Bernie now smiling. "You can invite Cam and Charlotte, Jason will be there and i'll invite Elinor to join us all". Bernie grinned at her..."Are you sure you are ready for this...?" Serena grinned back..."No of course i'm not ready for a Campbell/Wolfe Family Christmas Lunch but... I need to be with you on the day and so that's what we'll do".

Bernie flashed her a gorgeous smile and Serena melted right there, she leaned in to kiss Bernie deeply and they were both then all over each other, aware of no possible interruptions and completely letting go with each other. They didn't get as far as the bedroom... clothes were discarded rapidly and hands wandered expertly to where each other needed them. Bernie was now naked and laying on the sofa with Serena gazing down at her, the sofa wasn't very comfy but neither of them moved, they needed each other right now in this moment...

Serena still had some clothes to lose and Bernie was quick to remove them for her although as she finally managed to remove Serena's bra she hit her head slightly on the arm of the sofa..."This is no good..." Bernie got right up and practically dragged Serena by the hand to the bedroom. Serena was laughing and was the first on the bed laying down and pulling Bernie on top of her kissing her deeply with intensity...

They lay wrapped up together in Bernie's sheets afterwards still on a high, Serena with her head on Bernie's chest and Bernie stroking down her arms holding her tightly. "So..." Bernie started to speak. Serena looked up at her..."How is the Campbell/Wolfe Christmas Lunch going to go down then...?" Serena chuckled..."Umm... we will have to wait and see..." she flashed a grin at Bernie and made a promise to herself that she would ring Elinor tomorrow, she was not going to put this off any longer...


	29. Sunday

Serena had just arrived at work from Bernie's place. She headed straight for the coffee shop and bought a large double shot latte to help prop her up for the day, she wasn't sure how busy it would be and she hadn't slept well, thinking over the conversation she was preparing to have with Elinor that evening. They usually had a chat on a Sunday evening, if Elinor wasn't out and she was determined to raise the topic of Bernie tonight, it couldn't be put off any longer...

She arrived on AAU and settled down to the ward round, everything was looking ok so far and she hoped it would be a relatively simple Sunday.

Bernie woke around 10.30am, she immediately remembered that Serena would be working, she hadn't heard the alarm or Serena getting ready, she must have been so quiet! She turned over to her bedside chest to see a note from Serena... 'I love you xx'. Bernie grinned picking up the note and holding it to her chest as she snuggled back under the sheets.

She moved to where Serena had slept and could smell her perfume faintly on the bottom of the pillow. She snuggled her face into it breathing it in and thought back to their discussion about Christmas last night... it had made her really really happy. For the first time in years Christmas would be a happy time, she had so much to look forward to... life seemed all round better being with Serena and she very much hoped that Serena would be her future.

She thought ahead to the rest of the day and decided that she would do something nice with her day off... for Serena. She would go to the garden centre and get some of the things that Serena had mentioned late last night she would like for her garden. She also thought it would be nice to take Jason there to pick some new Christmas decorations to surprise Serena with.

Knowing that Jason had stayed with Alan last night she sent him a text to see if he would like to go to the garden centre with her this afternoon and if he did, she could pick him up from Alan's. She knew Jason loved being in the garden and thought it might be a nice thing to do together as she wanted to go anyway. After a few minutes her phone flashed with a reply from Jason 'Yes would like that, can you pick me up at 2pm please? Jason'. Bernie smiled and replied that she would see him then.

Serena was in theatre that afternoon, it was a simple procedure but she always preferred it when she was operating with Bernie, she always felt calmer and they worked so well together. She thought again to later... Bernie was kindly going to cook for her and Jason and be around when she spoke to Elinor... hopefully Elinor wouldn't be out tonight, she wanted to get this over with and discuss Christmas.

Bernie got to Alan's house for 2pm, she knew Jason would expect her at 2pm on the dot and not a minute later! Alan gave her a wave from the window, Jason had told him about her and Serena. Jason opened the car door and beamed at her. "Hello Bernie". "Hi Jason... how are you? Did you have a nice evening with Alan?" she smiled at him and they set off towards the garden centre. Jason chatted about a film they had watched last night on dvd. He definitely wanted to go to the garden centre especially when Bernie mentioned picking up some new Christmas decorations out to surprise Serena.

"Yes Auntie Serena likes Christmas" Jason was smiling and asking how Bernie was. Bernie's mind flitted to holding Serena in bed late last night in the dark while they were kissing for ages before falling asleep, Serena's hair next to her face... it smelled so gorgeous and soothed her to sleep although she hadn't told Serena this... the smell was luxury...

They arrived at the garden centre and Jason headed straight for the Christmas section and he was fast... Bernie had barely locked the car and he was off trying to find it with Bernie searching for a good five minutes before she found him looking at shiny baubles and lights. She smiled and approached him quietly "There you are... anything you like?" Jason beamed at her.

"I really like these Bernie... will Auntie Serena like them? I don't know what she has already". Bernie suddenly thought that she didn't know either what Serena had already got she just thought it would be nice to surprise her with some that she had chosen with Jason as new additions as they were both... technically new additions this year!

Maybe it was a stupid idea, her face fell a bit. Jason saw this and smiled..."She would love anything you picked for her Bernie". He didn't have to say that, Bernie thought it was really sweet and perked up a bit... perhaps Serena thought it would be romantic and she was willing to take the risk...

They picked out a variety of baubles and lights together discussing that they could all come and get a tree together nearer the time. Jason was really excited about Christmas for the first time in years. He couldn't wait to spend it with his auntie and Bernie. Bernie explained to him that they would have a Christmas lunch together on Christmas Day and they were going to invite her children Cameron and Charlotte, as well as Elinor. Jason nodded and agreed it was a nice idea.

He then took Bernie for a hot chocolate in the cafe, he wanted to buy them to thank her for being so kind to him lately. "Jason... thank you, it's fine though... I like spending time with you." Their conversation turned to London and some of the things Jason would like to see soon, he had really liked the Natural History Museum and was wanting to go to the London Dungeons next or maybe on the London Eye. Bernie smiled imagining her and Serena taking him for a day out together... that would be lovely.

Serena finished work on time and headed straight home, she still had her leather holdall on her from staying at Bernie's and her mind flashed back to falling asleep together with Bernie holding her, Bernie's gorgeous face nuzzled into her hair, her arms round her. It was the best way to fall asleep and Serena still felt butterflies thinking about it. She wondered what Bernie had been doing today and what they were going to have for tea.

Oh god what was she going to say to her daughter tonight... how could she explain what had happened? She thought she had only mentioned Bernie twice in their phone conversations. The first time was to say that she was Co-leading AAU with her now and the second time... she was trying to remember... maybe she hadn't mentioned her a second time... perhaps she should have. Why had she not mentioned a new important friendship to her even before they began a relationship?

Ah... yes she knew why... it was awkward... Serena hadn't been totally honest with Bernie about when she had started to have feelings for her... yes it was even before... the back massage incident in the office.

She had thought Bernie was a very attractive woman when they met and then learning that Bernie had an affair with a woman in the army had awakened something in Serena... she didn't know how she felt about Bernie from that moment onwards... there was something about Bernie Wolfe that had intrigued her straight away and well when she had offered Bernie that arm wrestle she was already attracted to her and she didn't want to mention Bernie to anyone outside of work while she was figuring out these confusing feelings for her new friend...

Bernie and Jason called at the supermarket on the way to Serena's to pick up the dinner ingredients... Jason had wanted to make pizza's so Bernie had agreed that they would make them together for Serena. Jason was so happy, he chose some toppings while Bernie found the basic dough ingredients in the aisles. They also picked up some more wine and soft drinks for the evening.

They arrived at Serena's just as Serena pulled up in her car outside. Jason rushed over to the car window to see his aunt and tell her what they had been doing... Bernie soon learned that Jason didn't totally understand secrets much and when to disclose them! She smiled over at Serena as they were both locking their cars up and walking towards each other.

Jason had let himself into the house by now and Serena pulled Bernie into a kiss, she didn't care that they were stood outside the house in full view of the neighbours at this moment in time she just wanted to kiss Bernie and thank her for taking Jason to the garden centre... it was totally adorable and she couldn't wait to see what they had both picked out...

Bernie took her hand and lead her through the front door into the hall..."How was work...?" she mumbled between kisses... Serena had quickly shut the door now and leaned back against it Bernie pushing her body against Serena pulling her into a tight embrace..."I missed you... work was fine thank you... did you have a nice time with Jason...?" she was raising her right eyebrow now and smirking. "Yep... we had a good time" Bernie smiled back and mentioned they were going to make pizza's for tea.

Serena gave her another kiss her hands wandering under Bernie's casual shirt and pulling her closer. "I hope to get you to myself... later..." Serena gave her a wink and went through to the kitchen to pour some of the wine she could see Bernie had bought.

Bernie and Jason happily made three large pizza's with different toppings while Serena pottered round upstairs unpacking her holdall, sorting some laundry and having a quick hot shower. She wanted to freshen up after being at the hospital all day and it also helped to relax her... she still had this phone conversation she was dreading to do after tea...

They ate the pizza's together with salad and Jason chatted happily about his night at Alan's and his afternoon with Bernie. They showed Serena the Christmas decorations and other garden bits they had got, Serena was deeply touched and loved everything. Jason mentioned going into the centre of London with them both soon to go and see some more of the attractions and Serena gave Bernie a loving smile. Bernie had obviously encouraged him that they would take him soon and it felt so lovely that she could share some of the work of looking out for Jason with Bernie who he adored.

After some cups of tea were made Serena stood up to call Elinor. Bernie looked at her intensely and whispered "It will be fine... see how the conversation goes... you know... if you feel comfortable... go for it... if not don't worry". Serena nodded and left to phone upstairs.

Jason didn't seem aware of what was going on regarding Elinor, he was tired and wanted to watch TV. Bernie cleared up the dinner things and loaded the dishwasher before settling in the lounge to keep Jason company until Serena came off the phone. She very much hoped it was going ok for Serena's sake. It was big news for Elinor to take in Bernie realised this and she just hoped Serena would be ok whatever the reaction. Young people these days were so much more open minded generally but Bernie knew you never could tell with people especially as with Elinor it was her own mother.

Bernie held her breath, she could hear Serena's footsteps come down the stairs, checking the clock briefly on her mobile she knew they had chatted as Serena had been on the phone around forty five minutes. Serena came through into the lounge and snuggled up to Bernie her head on Bernie's chest and arm around her stomach. "Well...?" Bernie whispered. Serena made eyes towards Jason and whispered back "Tell you later...". Bernie nodded and they carried on cuddling tightly, Bernie's fingers gently stroking up and down Serena's arm.

Jason left the lounge to go and play on his computer in his bedroom around twenty minutes later. The moment he had gone Bernie pulled Serena into a kiss..."So... what happened...??". Serena explained that she hadn't in so many words spoken about who Bernie was to her but said that she would like Elinor to meet Bernie at Christmas. Elinor had said she was planning to stay from Christmas Eve until Boxing Day and Serena said that there may be a couple of other guests at Christmas Dinner but she would talk to Elinor about it when she arrived home.

Bernie smiled at her..."So are you ok...?" Serena nodded "Yes... I didn't want to blurt everything out over the phone but she knows there is something different and will be more prepared I'm guessing...?" Bernie pulled her into another kiss..."I'm proud of you". Serena looked deeply into her eyes looking puzzled. "Serena... it isn't easy to talk about something so... personal and you have taken the first step".

She planted a kiss on Serena's nose and then added "Oh and by the way... talking about personal... Raf told me the other day that you told him when I was away in Kiev that you... loved me!" she flashed a grin at Serena and gave her a wink.

Serena's cheeks flushed a deep pink, oh god she was hoping to have kept that underwraps for.... well... ever! Bernie hadn't finished..."It also seems... Ric Griffin knew you were... interested in me... well... all the way back after I kissed you for the first time..." she gave Serena another grin.

Serena felt embarrassed for a moment but then thought that she didn't actually care that much now... she grinned back "Yes... guilty... now you know... I was mad about you all the way back then... and it hasn't changed!!". They pulled each other into another deep kiss, this time not holding any desire back.


	30. Monday

Bernie stirred lazily in bed next to Serena. Serena had been awake for about five minutes just watching Bernie's face, her eyelashes on her closed lids, her beautiful sensual lips and her soft neck. Bernie grinned at her..."Good Morning beautiful..." Serena's cheeks flushed... for being called beautiful and for being caught... staring at Bernie. She cuddled up to her, her fingers reaching under the covers and stroking Bernie's stomach gently.

They lay like that for a while both with nowhere they had to be as they had scheduled a day off today after working at the weekend. Bernie pulled Serena closer into a kiss and wondered out loud if Serena would like to get the Christmas decorations out today and up. Serena had mentioned a few days ago that they were all in the attic and Bernie knew Serena would love putting them up on their day off.

"I know you would like Jason to help too... so I wondered if we got them all out today... then we could put them up with Jason and Celia tonight?" Bernie knew that Celia was staying later and she was already planning on staying at Serena's for a couple of nights before going back to check on her flat at some point.

Serena beamed at her and they lay lazily cuddling and kissing for a while longer, neither in a rush to move. "Are you hungry...?" Serena was conscious that they hadn't eaten since last night and it was now late morning. Bernie offered to make them some breakfast and headed downstairs in Serena's soft navy robe to make a start.

Serena took the opportunity to take a long, hot shower and she was downstairs in her other silk robe by the time Bernie had dished up a lovely cooked breakfast from things she had found in the fridge... Serena was impressed! They sat drinking coffee and eating leisurely enjoying the peace and privacy as Jason had been up and out to work early and wouldn't be back until after 5pm.

Bernie broke their contented silence while they finished eating..."Serena... can I ask you something...? I thought about it yesterday and well... I won't ask again but it has been playing on my mind..." Serena looked at her, this sounded intense..."Yes... of course you can" Serena was nodding and taking a sip of her coffee. "I was wondering... you know... back when I was away... and you... and Robbie... well what happened? You don't have to tell me... it's just... I know I left partially to give you some space to figure out what you wanted and... " Serena cut her off before she said anymore with a deep kiss. She then smiled at Bernie's anxious face... she knew this would come up in conversation at some point... how could it not!

"Before I answer... I want you to know how much I love you... and how much I was in love with you when you were away..." Bernie was nodding but still looking very worried about what the answer would be. "We did... you know... but immediately afterwards and even during... all I could think about was... you and how wrong what I was doing was and for the wrong reasons. I was so hurt when you left Bernie and well I felt rejected and really low. Robbie rang me... now I know it was because he had a health scare and wanted advice but at the time I saw it as a kind of test and agreed to meet him for a drink." Bernie was still nodding... she had no right to feel anything at all after she had practically run away to Kiev after Serena had more or less confirmed that she was falling in love with her.

Serena took a deep breath and carried on..."I don't want you to worry.... you and me... well... it was all I wanted, I knew that... how I feel about you... it is completely different to anything I've ever felt for anyone else and you know... when... we are... together... like that... it is perfect... it is exactly what I want... I don't want you to be worrying." Serena was stroking Bernie's arm now and leaning in to kiss her neck gently.

Bernie pulled her up..."I think you had better show me... how much you like it... Serena Campbell..." she was looking at Serena all serious and Serena wasn't entirely sure of what Bernie was implying but suddenly Bernie was pulling her hand towards the stairs and Serena was feeling under Bernie's robe with her fingers knowing there was nothing underneath...

Even though Serena had already had a shower, Bernie wanted her in the big shower in the main bathroom they rarely used. This was a huge walk in shower and because Bernie knew they had the house to themselves she wanted to experience shower sex... she had never done that before. Serena happily dropped her robe understanding what Bernie was after..."I haven't you know... in the shower before..." Bernie was whispering into Serena's neck. Serena feeling smug that for once she had the upper hand here and pulled Bernie in with her...

They both lay on Serena's bed afterwards wrapped in soft towels and exhausted... but exhilarated in a very good way! Serena moved towards Bernie and wrapped herself round her..."So...? How did you find it...?" she was beaming... she herself thought it was totally... hot! Bernie grinned back "Yes... well... maybe perfect...?"

"Oh... maybe perfect... what would have made it perfect...?" Bernie didn't want to say so she just smiled shaking her head..."Nothing... ok... it was... perfect". Bernie would always prefer to be the first that Serena had done anything with but at their age that was hardly ever going to happen was it! She would try and be ok with the fact that Serena had done things with other people... ok men before and even though she felt a twinge of jealousy that Serena had obviously done it in a shower before and she hadn't she had to forget this because they were with each other now and their partnership, love and passion was no comparison to the relationships of Bernie's past she was certain of that.

Now they were extra clean, especially Serena after two showers of the day already... and dressed, they decided to tackle the attic. Serena happy to be up there as she had packed everything and Bernie holding the ladder while Serena passed boxes and parcels down to her. Serena tried to make the occasion Christmassy by having Christmas songs playing softly in the background and some mulled wine on the go.

When all the packages were down, Serena began sorting through the boxes while Bernie finished putting some of the new bits she had got at the garden centre outside. She pottered around happily thinking about a day hopefully in the future when they may live here together...

Serena made them some sandwiches for lunch and with all the decorations unpacked they settled on the sofa in the afternoon to watch a Christmas film. Bernie's head was rested in Serena's lap and Serena was stroking her hair and kissing her fringe every so often whispering that she loved her... the conversation from this morning was still in Serena's mind... she hoped she had put Bernie's mind at rest... about Robbie.

She would never want Bernie to worry... about how she felt about sex with her. Yes it was different to sex with a man but in a much better, more sensual, more explosive way to Serena. Frankly the first time had blown her mind completely. It was such a life altering experience, it was like she had woken up and discovered passionate sex for the first time. Yes it had been good in the past but thinking back it had only ever been... good. Not like with Bernie... Bernie made it emotional, erotic and transcendent.

Bernie had fallen asleep and Serena was watching her face again, she came to when Jason walked into the lounge. "Oh hello Jason..." she suddenly sat up straight forgetting for a second that Bernie's head was in her lap and Bernie woke up suddenly. "Sorry..." Serena was whispering and Bernie was now aware that Jason was there too. "How was work Jason...?" Serena was standing up and going over to where Jason was sat on the other sofa. He looked sad Serena thought..."Celia can't come round tonight now... maybe she doesn't like me anymore" Jason looked a mixture of upset and cross.

Serena put her arm gently round him and tried to cheer him up. "Well... maybe she can come round tomorrow instead?" she was trying to make things better and keep Jason calm. Jason shrugged his shoulders but cheered up when Bernie went to show him all of the Christmas decorations that were on the kitchen table, masses of them, all different colours but very classy. She explained that they were hoping he would help them to put them out after tea.

Jason smiled at them both, he would like that, he really liked the idea of them all going to pick a Christmas tree from the garden centre tomorrow evening as well and went up to his bedroom very excited. "Thank you..." Serena was holding Bernie's hands now and leaned in to kiss her. "What for...?" Bernie was smiling at her looking a bit puzzled. "For everything... for being you" Serena knew how lucky she was and well she was really looking forward to putting the decorations out this evening with Bernie and Jason.

Serena cooked a simple tea of steak and ale pie with mashed potatoes and vegetables and they all sat together in the lounge to eat on large trays as the kitchen table was overflowing with Christmas bits! Jason made some hot drinks for them afterwards...the mulled wine had gone to Serena's head. She seemed to get far more... tipsy than Bernie ever did which was frankly... annoying!

Jason happily put Christmas candles out around the downstairs section of the house and put up the smaller Christmas trees in the hall and kitchen. They would get a big real one for the lounge but the smaller ones were lovely and he happily decorated them with the smaller decorations. Bernie put some string with Christmas pegs on across the fireplace and tall bookshelf for cards to go on and Serena put the ornaments out that she had collected through the years.

Bernie realised she didn't have any of these traditions... some of her festive holidays were spent abroad in the army and others were in the family home that Marcus was sorting out, it had always belonged to his family anyway so had never felt like hers especially with her not being there much. She had left most of her stuff after she had moved out during the divorce.

She realised she didn't actually mind about this what she craved was being part of Serena's Christmas and starting new traditions with her. She wanted to tell Serena and held out her hand so Serena came closer to grasp her fingers. God Serena just oozed warmth to her, even just holding her hand Bernie felt the warmth spread through her.

"Serena... I... this is...so... special to me" Serena was looking at her with a gorgeous expression... happiness. "It is special to me too..." they both stood holding hands and looking at a snow globe that was Elinor's. It was big and was of The Snowman. Serena showed Bernie and shook it so the snow was dispersed everywhere inside the glass. Bernie smiled at her... it's beautiful... your beautiful.


	31. Tuesday (The Evening of the Episode Hallelujah)

Serena was waiting for Bernie to finish off with a trauma patient before they were going to leave to head to Serena's via the garden centre to pick out a Christmas Tree with Jason. The day had been amusing with them betting on whether anything would happen between Morven and Cam. Serena enjoyed Bernie's playful side and had absolutely enjoyed 'winning' the bet as nothing had happened between the pair yet (she had made sure to tactfully ask Cam before he finished his shift!).

She had agreed with Bernie then that as Bernie had technically... lost and that the Wolfe/Dunn genes were actually sometimes... resistible, Bernie should buy the Christmas tree!

Jason appeared in the office and settled himself into Bernie's chair to wait, he seemed happier Serena thought. "How are you... Jason? how was your shift?"

Jason replied that he was feeling happy because Celia could come round tonight and she was excited about helping to decorate the new Christmas tree. Serena smiled at him, she never liked it when he seemed unhappy. He was doubting last night whether Celia still liked him and it was a relief to Serena that she had just been busy and did actually want to spend time with him.

"I need to let her know when we get home from the garden centre, can she come for tea please?" Serena nodded and said they should get some fish and chips on the way back which Jason was then really excited about and began to text Celia just as Bernie appeared.

"Ok... ok... you definitely won..." she went straight over to Serena and kissed her hair before turning to get her coat. "What did Auntie Serena win?" Jason looked up suddenly looking between the pair of them with an inquisitive look. Bernie gave Serena a smirk and answered that Serena would tell him later! Serena rolled her eyes at Bernie and playfully hit her gently on the arm on the way out of the office, shutting the door behind them with her other hand.

It was freezing cold, dark but a clear sky as they hurried to the car putting the heater on straight away. Jason seemed to have completely forgotten the office conversation (for once!) and chatted about his day portering on the wards. He really liked the job and was enjoying himself. Bernie smiled at him and they then settled into chatting about Celia while Serena concentrated on driving to the local garden centre that Bernie and Jason had visited last week.

When they arrived, Jason headed straight off to where he remembered the trees being last week. Serena locked the car and Bernie turned to squeeze her hand "I checked with both Cam and Morven... separately... and both confirmed nothing has happened between them... so... yes... Serena Campbell... you won". Serena grinned at her "You don't have to buy the tree you know... I was just joking... how about we... buy it together?". Bernie smiled at her shaking her fringe out of her eyes "Yes... I like that idea... very much... of buying something together... we better find Jason". Serena nodded and linked her arm through Bernie's subtly.

They took quite a while to pick... there were lots of nice ones. Jason wanted a tall one so they went for one of the bigger ones. While they were waiting for the base to be cut, they stood drinking some of the festive hot chocolates that were being handed out by the staff. Bernie was looking at the poinsettia's that were dotted around. They looked gorgeous... deep red colours and she picked up a couple to get.

"We could put one in your kitchen... that would look nice and I could have one in my flat... so it looks... you know a bit... festive". Serena smiled at her, she really was so happy doing things like this with Bernie. Jason seemed deeply fascinated by the sheds and Serena gently guided him away back to the Christmas trees, she really didn't need a shed!

They stopped at the fish and chip shop on the way back, Jason had called Celia from the garden centre so she would get to Serena's as they got back.

Just as they all got through the door and were hanging up coats and bags, Celia appeared at the door holding a sparkly star tree decoration she had brought as a contribution to the new Christmas tree. Serena thought this was really sweet and gave her a brief hug to thank her. They all went through to the kitchen to eat and Celia chatted to them all about what she had been doing for the last few days since she had seen them. Bernie smiled at Serena shyly from across the table, she hadn't had chance to kiss her since very early this morning and was really aching to.

She suddenly got up from the table to fetch some more wine for them and motioned to Serena with her eyes darting towards the door. "I'm just going to the bathroom... back in a minute". Celia and Jason barely noticed, they were busy tucking into their fish and chips chatting happily. Bernie shut the kitchen door behind her carefully and headed upstairs hoping that Serena would follow shortly.

Serena didn't know what to say to leave the kitchen... she felt a bit awkward but she knew Bernie had clearly meant her to follow so she waited until Jason was engrossed in talking about a particular TV show he was watching and got up quietly leaving the kitchen. She made her way upstairs slowly..."Bernie...?"

Suddenly Bernie appeared and pulled her into a deep, intense kiss pushing her gently against the wall on the landing. They got completely carried away in the moment... Serena had been aching to kiss Bernie since... well... the last kiss had happened at approximately 8.20am this morning. Bernie was pushing her body against Serena's kissing her neck and working her way down undoing the buttons of Serena's shirt tracing her lips down her cleavage as she was undoing it. God Serena smelled so gorgeous...

"Bernie... we can't... not... now" Serena was trying to resist but not wanting to..."Jason and Celia... are downstairs". Bernie stopped then..."Yep... sorry... I just... you know... missed you". Serena flashed her a flirty smile..."It is really... difficult... to stop... but we have to finish... tea... with them and then do the tree". Bernie pulled Serena to her, her hands grasping her backside to pull her closer. Serena leaned to kiss her shoulder and then pulled away..."Come on..." she took Bernie's hand as they made their way back downstairs..."Spoilsport" Bernie was whispering into her ear and chuckling.

Jason suddenly appeared in the hall..."Are one of you hurt? You have been gone for six minutes and your tea is getting cold". Bernie spoke first..."No... sorry Jason I had to check something with Serena." Jason just shrugged and they all headed back into the kitchen, Serena discreetly checking her shirt buttons were done back up on the way.

They all helped to decorate the Christmas tree, Jason and Celia ate some mince pies which Bernie politely declined, commenting to Serena quietly that they were the devil's food! Serena gave her a mini yule chocolate log instead delicately kissing the icing sugar from Bernie's lips in a moment when they were hidden from view.

Bernie attempted to help Celia with the fairy lights but was frankly getting in a complete mess. She was getting really frustrated, they were all tangled up and Jason had started taking photo's of her and Serena was chuckling. In the end she stepped away and let Jason help Celia with the lights. "Nevermind... darling.." Serena was still laughing at her, very embarrassing! Perhaps she should help with something else, something more simple.

She finished hanging some of the baubles onto the tree branches, Serena came over to her feeding her another small yule chocolate log, this time Serena pulled her into a deep kiss, not caring who saw... Bernie looked too adorable with icing sugar at the side of her mouth..."You know I won our little bet today..." Serena was leaning into her soft hair. "Yes... Serena...you will never let me forget that will you". "Not on your life..." Serena grinned. "After we have finished off with this and well... we are alone... do I get another... reward...?" Serena gave her a wink and Bernie whispered..."I should think so...." not caring and quickly grabbing her hand.


	32. Wednesday

Serena had just finished work for the day and Jason had come along to the office to meet her to go home. It had been a relatively quiet day, for a change, even with Christmas approaching. Bernie had left an hour ago to head to her flat as Charlotte was coming round. It was the first time in absolutely ages that Bernie had spent any time with her daughter without anyone else being with them so Bernie had been anxious all day especially as it had been Charlotte who had suggested visiting her mum.

Serena had tried to reassure her before they parted ways and even though Bernie had said she would stay at Serena's that night - but it may be late, Serena had gently insisted that she should stay at her flat overnight then she could totally relax and spend some proper time with Charlotte.

Jason was chattering about his day as they headed to the car park and he was asking questions about Charlotte on the drive home..."Do her and Bernie not get on Auntie Serena?" Serena replied that it was difficult because Bernie and Marcus had divorced and it is sometimes awkward for children even if they are grown up if their parents split up. "Did they split up because Bernie is a lesbian...?" he just wanted to know facts, Jason never judged people so Serena thought the best way to answer was to agree that yes, partly it was because of that. Jason was quiet for a few minutes before asking..."Does Elinor know about Bernie?" Serena took a deep breath and answered honestly that she didn't yet but she would soon.

Her mind wandered to the upcoming conversation that was going to take place probably on Christmas Eve when she would see Elinor next and she really needed to have a think how best to do it, the best wording maybe? Were there any best words in this situation? Jason must have seen the panicked expression on her face even though it was fairly dark in the car and reached to touch her hand..."Just tell her you love Bernie, which is the truth, keep it simple". Serena smiled at him, perhaps that was indeed the best advice, she was grateful for his support.

Bernie had been home for about an hour tidying round, having a quick shower and changing when there was a knock at the door. She knew it would be Charlotte. Charlotte had text her this morning hoping to catch up with her at some point this week just the two of them and Bernie had jumped at this olive branch suggesting later today. She would get some pizza's and they could have a proper chat.

Bernie opened the door and Charlotte was there giving her an awkward smile... Bernie thought she looked like Marcus now as a young woman but others had often commented that she looked just like her. Bernie gave her a brief hug and they went through to the lounge.

"How are you... Charlotte?" Bernie was quite nervous but so pleased to see her daughter. Charlotte smiled and sat down on the sofa taking her coat off. "I'm good thanks mum... how are you? Have you been at work today?" They settled into chatting about Bernie's work and Charlotte's uni course, conversation flowed and Bernie made them some cups of tea. Charlotte did fancy staying for some pizza and Bernie was delighted. She asked after Marcus and Charlotte asked after Cam as Bernie was obviously working with him at the moment at the hospital and Charlotte hadn't seen him that week even though Bernie knew they were close.

The conversation turned to Serena as Charlotte asked after her. Bernie blushed and said she was well and everything was actually... wonderful. "You seem so happy mum... i'm glad... you know... that you have someone who makes you so happy." Bernie touched her arm and smiled "Thank you, that means a lot". She went on to talk about Christmas and said that Charlotte and Cam were invited round to Serena's on Christmas Day for lunch if they would like to come. She understood if they were spending the day with Marcus but was very keen to see them at some point during the day if possible.

Charlotte answered straight away that she would like to come and hopefully Cam would too. They weren't sure what Marcus was doing yet but she liked the idea of meeting Serena and re-building the relationship with Bernie. Bernie felt so happy... everything was working out so well and it was lovely to spend some time with Charlotte just talking.

Serena and Jason had a simple tea of sausages, mash, vegetables and onion gravy that Jason had made, he was getting more confident at trying simple dishes and it meant Serena could have a break from kitchen duties every now and again!

Serena was proud of him for trying things... she knew Bernie was having some input with his growing confidence... she had always encouraged him to think of ways round any obstacles and Jason was really progressing out of his comfort zone much more than she ever thought he would.

Her mind flitted ahead to Christmas as she looked at the Christmas tree and decorations that were around the house now. What should she buy for Bernie? She wanted to get her something special but Bernie always insisted that there was nothing she ever needed and she was very low maintenance! Also, what should she get for Jason? Perhaps she should have a look online tonight for some ideas while Jason was watching his TV shows.

Charlotte ended up staying until 10pm, they happily ate pizza's and had a couple of glasses of wine. Her boyfriend was picking her up and Bernie said she would like to meet him soon. "I am just seeing how thing's go... mum... you know". Bernie nodded smiling..."Of course".

"I am really looking forward to meeting Serena... Cam says she is lovely... and really good for you" Bernie chuckled..."Yes... she is." "You did love dad though didn't you... at some point mum..." Charlotte was looking at Bernie now for confirmation. "I did love your dad... yes... he was my best friend when we got married... but..." Bernie was stuttering now not really knowing what to say...

Charlotte put her hand on Bernie's arm..."I get it mum... I know it was difficult in those days to be your... true self and well... i'm glad you have the courage now". She gave Bernie a hug and picked up her coat as a car had pulled up outside and Charlotte was guessing it was her lift.

Bernie shut the door after seeing the car pull off and drive round the corner... she was just so pleased to have the relationships with her children (although they weren't exactly children now!) back on the right track. It was so much better now she was settled here and with Serena... everything was falling into place and it felt so... wonderful.

Serena was in the lounge with Jason sipping a glass of Shiraz, she had written some Christmas cards and was now browsing online for gift ideas... she should really get organised now and actually start Christmas shopping... she thought about buying Jason gifts from her and Bernie together and wrote down some ideas... perhaps an e-reader, he had mentioned he would like one lately, maybe something for his photography too or some new box sets, she would check with Bernie what she thought, at least she had some ideas now.

For Elinor... she thought of a spa voucher or beauty treatments giftcard. She decided to get the gifts just from her and found some nice make up online she would order too. She should get some presents for the AAU team too but Bernie had suggested they get them between them so she left that for now...

She looked at her mobile hoping for a text from Bernie and was delighted to find one... 'Everything went great...,I need to hold you though so coming over xx'. Serena beamed and her heart leapt, she hadn't wanted to fall asleep without Bernie either, she had missed her badly since they had parted this afternoon and she was aching for a cuddle. Bernie gave the best cuddles...

Before she thought anymore, she rushed upstairs to where Bernie kept a toiletries bag now on 'her side of the bed'. She had a sudden idea of one of the gifts she wanted to get Bernie... perfume and she knew Bernie used a couple of different ones. She opened the small bag to find two small sprays, she quickly looked for the brand and name of the sprays before Bernie got there so she could order her favourite.

She smelled both... they were just... Bernie. She decided on the one that Bernie had mainly worn when they were first together... intimately... as it took her mind straight back smelling the fragrance. It was a Diesal one and Serena found herself just standing and smelling it, breathing it in..."What are you doing Auntie Serena?" Jason was stood at her bedroom door staring at her. Oh god... she hoped he wouldn't blurt out to Bernie what she had been doing.

"I wanted to see the brand of Bernie's perfume so I can buy her a Christmas gift Jason... please don't tell her... it would ruin it." Jason nodded smiling "I won't", he went into his bedroom to play on the computer. Serena made a note of the name of the fragrance and sprayed some of her own perfume on her neck and wrists so she would smell nice for Bernie, Bernie always commented on how gorgeous she smelled when she actually thought that Bernie was the one who smelled... frankly incredible...

The first time Bernie had kissed her on the theatre floor and she had leaned back in to keep kissing her she had remembered breathing in Bernie's perfume and it had made her head swim... it smelled so seductive. She would get some other gifts too but she would definitely order some of the perfume tomorrow online.

Just as she was pouring herself some more wine in the kitchen there was a knock at the door. She rushed to open it and Bernie was there looking all gorgeous, god she had missed her and pulled her into a tight hug, they stood like that at the door, the cold air coming in around them. Serena pulled her inside and shut the door...

"So... how did it go... with Charlotte... then?" Bernie grinned at her "Well... she is coming for Christmas lunch... it went really well thank you." Serena pulled her into a kiss..."I'm so pleased for you... that's wonderful". They stood holding on tightly to each other.

"I couldn't not stay with you Serena... I just need to be with you so much..." Serena smiled, their lips drawn towards each other again hungrily kissing each other. "So... just Elinor... to get on board now..." Serena looked at Bernie with anticipation. Bernie titled her head to the side..."She will be fine... don't worry... she will just be pleased to see you happy."

Serena very much hoped so, she was anxious but Bernie was worth everything, she didn't actually care at this moment in time if everyone in the world disapproved... she would not forgo what they had for anything.


	33. Thursday

The alarm went off and Serena groaned... she was far too comfy snuggled up to Bernie and really didn't want to move anytime soon. Bernie had the day off and she herself was due at work in an hour. Bernie stirred at the sound of Serena's alarm and pulled her closer..."don't go...".

"I really... don't want to... I would much rather... stay here with you". Serena was nuzzling Bernie's neck now and kissing it gently. "I think... you had better stop that... Serena... it's too...well... I don't want you to stop and... you have to". Serena pulled herself away and kissed Bernie on her forehead before getting out of bed... it was chilly and she would much rather go Christmas shopping with Bernie and Jason today like they had planned last night when Bernie realised that Jason had holiday from work for the next two days.

Serena was quicker than usual in the shower this morning and dressed promptly heading down to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast. She tried to be quiet knowing that Bernie and Jason would probably like to go back to sleep for a bit on their days off. Bernie was going to cook for them when Serena got in later, she wasn't sure what time she would finish tonight.

When she got to work... actually more or less on time for once... she stopped to pick up a coffee on the way to AAU and bumped into Essie. "Hey Serena... I haven't seen you properly for ages". Serena smiled at her and they arranged to catch up around lunch time. Serena noticed Essie looked... distracted and tired. It would be nice to have a chat, also perhaps she should mention Bernie to her friend now, she realised she hadn't seen Essie outside of the odd wave across the car park or corridor for... ages... so much had happened!

Bernie woke around 9.30am and saw a note left for her on the bedside from Serena... 'Miss you already, can't wait to see you tonight, have a nice day :) xx'. Bernie smiled, she couldn't wait to pick some nice gifts for Serena today. She was also happy about spending some time with Jason and helping him with his shopping. They had agreed to head out around 11am so she had a while to get up, dressed and have something to eat.

She was eating some toast and drinking a coffee in Serena's kitchen when Jason appeared.."Good morning Bernie" he was very smiley today Bernie noticed and it was still fairly early for a day off to be up! They were going to head into town when Bernie was ready, she was happy to drive and Jason was looking forward to it..."I'm going to make a list of what I need to get, I think I can get everything today" he was still smiling and Bernie was glad they had arranged this late last night when she had seen Jason on the landing as he was heading downstairs for a snack. Serena was already asleep by then and Bernie had been restless so had got up for a glass of water.

"I'm just going to get ready Jason... give me half an hour then we can go..." Jason nodded and headed into the lounge to watch some TV.

It was fairly busy on the wards and Serena hadn't seemed to stop for hours until she realised it was lunch time and she was going to meet Essie in Pulses for a quick bite to eat. She sent her a text to say she was on her way and received a reply straight away...'Got you some lunch, Essie x'. Serena smiled and collected her bag from the office, she had everything covered to take half an hour and was looking forward to a chat.

Town was busy when Bernie and Jason eventually found a parking space, even though it was a Thursday in the middle of the working day, lots of people were out and about and it was fairly chilly. "What do you need to get first...?" Bernie was happy for Jason to take the lead with the shopping, she would browse wherever he wanted to go and pick up some ideas along the way. He wanted to head to Boots to get Serena some nice bath products for Christmas. "Auntie Serena really likes baths" Jason was looking carefully at his list and Bernie smiled to herself remembering the first bath she had shared with Serena... it had been very memorable for her...

"What do you think she will like?" Jason was looking to Bernie for answers as they scanned the aisles at the luxury bathing gift sets. Bernie was able to guide him a little and imagined future bubble baths with the woman she loved. Jason had a very kind heart and wanted to get the biggest gift pack there was...Bernie smiled at him..."You don't have to spend that much Jason... Serena wouldn't want you to".

Jason wouldn't hear of it though, he was off to the tills with a huge gift set for his auntie and Bernie took the opportunity while he was queueing to browse the perfume gift sets. She immediately found the Dior perfume that Serena loved and bought one of the sets at the separate perfume till. She thought back to when she had first had the privilege to smell the perfume on Serena's neck and she shivered remembering what that had done to her at the time... she had got goosebumps. Serena had smelled like... well... heaven... so seductive... and sexy.

Jason joined her and smiled when she showed him the perfume set she had chosen for Serena. They left the store and headed to Marks and Spencers where Jason wanted to choose a gift for Alan.

Serena and Essie chatted about Essie's situation with Parker... Serena had a fair idea as Raf had briefly mentioned about Kim and Parker during coffee breaks in the last few weeks. Essie filled Serena in on her side of things though and how difficult she had found it to let Parker go as she had formed a bond with him. Serena touched her arm briefly and nodded understanding that Essie was having a difficult time at the moment and especially as she no longer had Sacha as a partner to help her through it.

The conversation stopped for a moment while they both finished eating..."So... is it true then...?" Essie was winking at Serena and smiling. Serena gave her a look..."Umm... is what true..?" she knew what Essie was going to say but thought it was best to be casual about the whole thing. "About Bernie...?" Serena took a deep breath and smiled..."What do you know...?" Essie had moved her chair closer to Serena so they could chat more quietly without the whole of Pulses listening in which Serena was grateful for!

"I don't know... much... just heard... you know... on the grapevine... that... there may be something going on between you..?" Serena looked at Essie and Essie was smiling in encouragement. Yes she could trust her. "Yes... we are... you know... together." Serena clasped her hands under the table, she was nervous but also quite excited about talking about it with someone she knew would be supportive.

"I'm so pleased for you Serena... you have looked really happy the last few weeks and Bernie is such a nice person... and well... you are a lucky woman... I have heard many a patient ask whether she is single... she has many admirers!" Serena laughed.."Oh yes... I know... but well she only seems to be interested in..."

"Yes... you... I have heard from Dom... she has been in love with you for months". Serena beamed at this and she didn't feel nervous anymore. "So... is she the first woman... you have...?" Serena was blushing now..."Yes". "And....?" Essie was grinning at her... "Yes... it's what I want". Essie was touching her arm gently now showing support. "I am really happy for you... for both of you... it is lovely to have a beautiful love story going right for a change round here!" she was smiling at Serena and thinking they both had better make a move back to work. Serena reminded Essie that she was there if she needed a chat anytime and Essie nodded..."Yes... thanks... you too... see you later" and they both headed their separate ways back to the wards.

Bernie took Jason for a sandwich at a coffee shop for lunch and they looked at what they had managed to get so far... Jason had done well with getting Serena's and Alan's gifts all sorted. He wanted Bernie's advice on what to get for Celia now... it had to be special and he thought Bernie was the best person to help him pick as she was a girl, well a woman! and she liked girls... well women too so Bernie suggested some ideas while they quietly had a bite to eat.

Bernie was then asking Jason for some ideas for what to get Cam to make him feel more involved. Jason was pleased to be asked for his advice and he suggested a cinema pass as he had heard that Cameron liked films and he also knew he liked reading so books or a gadget perhaps? Bernie smiled at him nodding, thanking him for his input.

They went to Thorntons so Jason could buy Celia some chocolates and Bernie bought some for Charlotte at the same time as part of her present. She also thought Serena may like some but wasn't sure which to pick so left it for now. She wasn't sure how much Serena would spend on her and didn't want her gifts to look too little or too much! Jason promised to do some secret detective work and find out roughly how much his aunt was spending on Bernie and Bernie gave him a high five. Luckily Jason realised that it wasn't really snooping, it was because Bernie cared about Serena and wanted to get her nice presents!

Bernie thought about some nightwear for Serena but obviously didn't want to look while she was with Jason but Jason wanted to look for pyjamas anyway for Celia so they went to take a look at some. Jason wanted Bernie's advice for what girls like to wear in bed... Bernie felt her cheeks burning... this was a little uncomfortable but she tried to act normal and asked what Celia had worn when she had stayed over before and Jason replied that she had worn a nightie. Bernie helped him to pick something lovely but appropriate!

While he was at the tills paying she took a sneaky look at something for Serena... she didn't know whether to go with... cosy or sexy...? Perhaps something in the middle? There was so much choice... this was an important decision. She spotted something that she liked and well... would very much like to see Serena in but just as she picked it up Jason appeared... "Is that for Auntie Serena...?" He was looking at her smiling and Bernie felt embarrassed but remembered that Jason was actually an adult and it was fine for her to get this if she wanted to. She searched for Serena's size and asked his opinion..."Yes she would like that" he turned to give her a high five this time and she laughed, this had been a successful shopping trip!

She went to the tills while Jason went downstairs in the store to get some chocolate, she was going to meet him down there to pick up some dinner items then they were going to head back to Serena's, they were both pretty tired now.

Serena arrived home before Bernie and Jason, she had managed to clear a lot of the work and there were plenty of staff around so she had decided to head home. She sent Bernie a text realising they weren't back yet... 'Hope you have had a nice day, home now, work fine, miss you xx'. She settled on the sofa with a cup of tea and put her feet up. Bernie was cooking dinner so she could sit down for a bit.

She decided to order the perfume she had decided on for Bernie while she had the house to herself, she smiled to herself as she placed the order and thought about what else she should get. Bernie was going to suss out some more ideas for Jason today hopefully without him noticing, she had thought of some but not finally decided yet. Perhaps she could order them tonight when Jason had gone to bed.

Jason's key was in the door and Serena stirred, she must have dozed off for five minutes on the sofa. Bernie and Jason came straight into the lounge holding masses of bags. Serena got up to greet them and pulled Bernie into a tight embrace..."I missed you..." she whispered into her hair while Jason took some of the bags that were his and headed up to his bedroom to hide them. When he had disappeared Bernie pulled Serena into a deep kiss..."I missed you too... how was your day?" she was stroking her face gently and looking into her eyes.

Serena kissed her back and answered that work had been ok..."How was your shopping trip... looks like you have done well...?". Bernie grinned..."Yep, made a good start, but no peeking in the bags... Serena". Serena had been trying to sneakily look into one of the bags that was on the sofa when Bernie was taking her coat off!

Serena smiled at her, "I promise I didn't see anything" she kissed Bernie again, god she could kiss this woman all day everyday and never get tired of it.

Jason suddenly appeared and was starting to get hungry which prompted Bernie to head to the kitchen to make a start on dinner. Serena came through to get some wine and Bernie poured them both a glass. "Can I help... you?" Serena was at Bernie's side and was tring to hold her hand while Bernie was unpacking the ingredients from the shopping bag not very successfully.

Serena laughed..."I guess I better leave you to it... I've missed you though.." Bernie smiled at her shyly from under her fringe..."I'll give you a shout when it's ready..." she planted a kiss on Serena's lips and turned back round to the stove.

Serena and Jason were chatting in the lounge with Jason finding it really very difficult not to say what they had done and where they had been some of the time, he knew Bernie would be so cross if he said what they had got for Serena.

Bernie dished up a chinese style stir fry ten minutes later, it was quick and easy and she wanted to spend the evening preferably wrapped round Serena so didn't want too much washing up either. Serena had a dishwasher but that still needed loading and unloading and Bernie had missed being with Serena and wanted to spend their time... well... together not doing chores!

Jason was tired but happy after the shopping trip and he went up to his room to ring Celia. Hopefully he was going to see her tomorrow evening and he wanted to arrange their date.

Serena settled comfortably into Bernie on the sofa and was playing with her hair gently. "That feels nice...." Bernie was whispering into her neck and now they were alone she wanted to kiss Serena intensely. They had the same thought at the same moment and were suddenly laying together on the sofa sensually kissing each other. Serena pulled away briefly..."I saw Essie at lunchtime..." "Yeah...?" Bernie went back to kissing her, not wanting to stop, her hands were under Serena's shirt and gently working their way from her waist upwards when Serena broke away again..."I confirmed we are together and she was really happy for us..."

Serena was smiling looking deeply into Bernie's eyes. Bernie lazily smiled back and nodded. "She said that Dom knew you... liked me a long, long time ago..." Bernie nodded and went back to the kissing. Serena smiled and got the hint that Bernie just wanted to make out and she was completely... willing...


	34. Friday

Serena stirred, she could hear the sound of the shower and realised there was an cold empty space next to her. She shuffled slightly onto Bernie's pillow so she could catch the slight smell left of Bernie's perfume and hair from the pillow case, she breathed it in and let herself relax more. She had the day off today and was taking Jason to London to go on the London Eye (on one of his holiday days from work) and they would also look for Bernie's gifts in the shops while they were there.

Bernie appeared in a towel, her hair all wet and looking stunning Serena thought, she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Bernie to her wrapping her arms round her..."Good morning..." "Hi..." Bernie gave her a gorgeous smile and kissed her hair before fetching her underwear and clothes from her bag. "Go back to sleep Serena... you have the day off..." Bernie was giving her a smile while she changed and applied her eye make up in the bedroom mirror.

"I need to get up... Jason will be raring to go to London". Serena was smiling but also snuggled back under the sheets, maybe she could have a few more minutes... she would happily watch Bernie getting ready all day, especially in her underwear doing her hair... not that she did much to it... just dried it without brushing so it was all bouncy and gorgeous... yes... Serena would happily watch her all day long. She couldn't ever remember watching Edward or Robbie getting ready... that had been... well...dull. Bernie mesmerised her... yes... she was totally in love with her... she knew that.

Serena got up to use the shower and Bernie pulled her into a kiss. "Miss you today... have a nice day with Jason... see you later" and with that she left the bedroom to get some breakfast and Serena got a fresh towel from the dresser heading into the bathroom.

Bernie got to work and was touched when Morven handed her a coffee. "Thank you..." Bernie smiled at her, she was wearing a santa hat and as always providing cheer around the ward. Bernie really did like working on AAU, it felt comfy to her like something warm and familiar, this was rare for her... she was used to not settling somewhere... moving on... like always... like she had been used to in the past but well AAU felt like home now. It was the place she had met Serena and it was their team... so special to her. She started the ward round and thought of Serena and Jason who would be heading to London on the train shortly.

Serena and Jason were sat in the quiet carriage of the train on the way to London... Jason was doing a puzzle on his phone and she was happy for the peace and the chance to just sit and do nothing... a rarity! She thought of Bernie at work, as the buildings flashed by, what else should she get her for Christmas? Jason had mentioned a rough price that Bernie had spent on her so far, just so they didn't go way off with their gifts for each other, neither would be comfortable with that.

"Jason.... any ideas for what I can get Bernie to go with perfume for Christmas?" Serena was whispering, she knew Jason had spent most of yesterday round the shops with Bernie so may have picked up some ideas...

"She was looking at some books in... WH Smiths, we were looking for books for Cameron and she was taking a look at some new ones that were out that she was interested in herself but I was going to get them today for her from me for Christmas Auntie Serena". Serena smiled, that was lovely of him. "Yes... Jason... that's a good idea". Ok, back to square one, that didn't help with what else she could buy... maybe... underwear? Was that like something a man would do? Buy something for his lover when really they wanted to see them in it themselves? Serena chuckled oh god... what had she turned into!

Jason noticed her chuckling and gave her a look... this was a quiet carriage. Serena looked away through the window still smiling...

Bernie was in theatre for most of the day, she was happy about this... saving people... it was what she liked to do best... she took a break after one operation and went to Pulses for a quick sandwich and break from the ward. Dom sat down next to her and they had a brief chat before he had to go back to work, Bernie thought he looked stressed out. "Come and find me later... you know... if you want a chat..." Dom smiled at her.

The queue for the London Eye was huge and it wasn't even a weekend day. Serena guessed it was because it was nearly Christmas and people were busy shopping anyway. Jason was taking photo's while they were stood in the queue. Serena was getting a bit embarrassed as he kept pointing the camera in her face in between taking photo's of 'interesting people' in the queue. Serena touched his arm and suggested he take photo's of the actual London Eye from where they were stood!

When they eventually got to the front and Jason paid, he wanted to treat her which was sweet, they got into one of the pods and waited for it to start. Serena wasn't too sure whether she would like this... Jason was grinning though so she tried to relax and looked out ready for it to start.

Bernie was in the office for the last part of her day, completing paperwork, she noticed a scarf of Serena's on the coat stand and making sure the door was shut she went over to see if it still held any of the scent of Serena's perfume... it did... Bernie breathed it in and felt complete content. She decided to take it with her to Serena's... maybe Serena had forgotten to pick it up... wasn't she wearing it a few days ago?

The London Eye started moving and Serena actually quite enjoyed it... it was fairly slow and the view was frankly... incredible! Jason was taking photo's and she thought it was a nice thing for them to do together. It was over pretty quickly though... they had gone round three times and then they were let out of the pod back onto the chilly streets. Jason wanted to go straight to WH Smiths to get the books Bernie had been looking at.

They walked to the shops and headed there first. After buying three books for Bernie, which Serena thought was really very kind of him, they headed to a coffee shop for a drink. They sat and discussed what Jason had thought of the London Eye... he had enjoyed it but not the queuing aspect at the start... that was annoying... Serena smiled at him.

She wondered back to what else she could get for Bernie... oh yes... she had thought of underwear but she was not going to look at this while she was with Jason... perhaps she could leave him somewhere to look at something for a bit while she headed to... Debenhams, she had noticed there was one a few shops along.

"Jason... would you like to take a look in the museum next door while I have a quick look in Debenhams...? I can come back to you in say half an hour?" Jason nodded that this was fine and they quickly finished their drinks off heading back out onto the street. Serena took a careful note of the time, twenty past... if she said half an hour...Jason would expect her at ten to on the dot so she made sure he was ok and headed along the couple of shops on the left and into the warm department store.

She took the escalator up to the right section and stood looking at the mountains of options all on racks in front of her. Now... Bernie liked designer underwear preferably and she liked black underwear... ok maybe something that covered both of those requirements but something well more... yes... she saw what she wanted to get... this was a very lacy set... Bernie would look completely hot in this... the pants were lacy too... more sheer than Bernie usually wore so it would look like more of a gift but... well... Serena definitely wanted to see Bernie wearing this... it looked expensive and classy but well frankly... hot!

Serena picked Bernie's size out and felt her cheeks flush when she went to buy it, realising it didn't look like it was for her. She tried to act normally at the till though, luckily there wasn't a queue! She walked quickly along to meet Jason... he noticed her Debenhams bag and asked what she had bought... she said it was a surprise so he would leave it..."For Bernie...?" she nodded and they walked along the street to look in a couple more shops, they both wanted wrapping paper and Serena wanted to get a couple of gifts for the AAU team which she had discussed with Bernie.

Bernie headed back to Serena's, she had the spare key now which made her smile. She made herself a cup of tea and relaxed on the sofa. She hoped Serena and Jason were enjoying themselves in London, she checked the time on her phone... there was a text from Serena..."On the way back now, hope work was ok, can't wait to see you xx'.

She smiled and was looking forward to them spending their evening together... Jason was going to Celia's and staying there so they had the place to themselves and were going to get a takeaway. She decided to have a quick shower to freshen up and change and headed up to Serena's bedroom.

Serena and Jason got home around 6pm and Jason headed straight upstairs to get ready to go to Celia's. Serena was going to drop him off when she got the takeaway in about half an hour. There was no sign of Bernie downstairs... she knew she was there as her car was outside. She made her way upstairs and found her laying on the bed in her own navy robe dozing, she looked like she had had a shower and not managed as far as getting dressed again... Serena didn't know whether to leave her or kiss her awake. Best leave her for a bit... she looked so gorgeous... it was extremely hard not to go over and kiss her deeply awake but Serena quietly closed the bedroom door behind her and went back down stairs.

She made herself a coffee and waited for Jason to finish getting ready, putting on some laundry while she had some time. She was looking forward to having Bernie all to herself tonight. Jason appeared, ready to go and Serena was going to take a guess with the takeaway and head to the Thai place Bernie loved so she didn't need to wake her before leaving.

Bernie stirred... it was dark outside... how long had she been asleep... she saw a note on the bedside from Serena so she knew she had been home...'Gone to take Jason and collect some delicious Thai food for us... you look beautiful asleep... back soon xx'. Bernie grinned and held the note to her chest. She was so lucky... how had she become so lucky to get the woman of her dreams... she was well aware that not everyone always got the person of their dreams... why her... why was she so lucky?

She got up and changed into her white shirt and dark jeans... spritzed some more fragrance on herself and headed downstairs to pour them some wine ready to eat.

Serena got through the door with two bags of food for them... Bernie met her at the door and Serena dropped the bags on the floor immediately... Bernie looked gorgeous. They pulled each other into a kiss and let the bags of food stay on the floor for a couple of minutes. God Bernie smelled incredible... Serena was reluctant to pull away but the food was going to get cold, she grabbed Bernie's hand and they went through to the kitchen to get some plates.

"How was work...? Serena was chatting while Bernie dished up the meals onto plates. Bernie replied that work was fine and everything was done and on schedule for the weekend when they were both working.

"How was the London Eye...?" Bernie wanted to know if they had both enjoyed it. Serena said it had been a good day and she would like to take Bernie on it some time, she knew Bernie hadn't been on it and it may be... quite romantic. She smiled at her as they both sat at the kitchen table drinking wine and eating happily. Bernie thought Serena looked really pretty, she loved her wearing her burgundy knitted hooded top, it really suited her and she looked so adorable, she also liked to snuggle up to Serena when she was wearing it, it was soft and always smelled of Serena... stunning.

They happily lay together on the sofa after dinner totally able to let go with each other as Jason was away tonight and not going to walk in at any moment. Bernie never minded this, it actually made her feel like a teenager and was may be going to get caught at any moment which was a thrill but she much preferred having the woman she loved all to herself and she quite fancied... if Serena was not too tired... another round of... shower... sex... while they had the place to themselves... may be she should let their dinner settle down a bit... she was more than happy to hold Serena and stroke her hair for now... this was pure bliss.


	35. Saturday

The alarm went off early, it was Saturday morning but they were both due at work in an hour and a half. They had decided to start setting the alarm earlier as both liked to lay in each others arms for a while before getting up. Serena moved over to where Bernie was, they had fallen asleep wrapped round each other but they must have come apart slightly in the night. "Good morning..." Serena was kissing Bernie's fringe and looking into her eyes as she opened them smiling. "I love you..." Bernie's arms were immediately round her and they snuggled up holding each other tightly and not wanting to move...

"I suppose we had better get up..." Serena noticed the time on her phone and moved to stand up. Bernie shrugged her shoulders... at least they would be working together today and not apart... they hated being apart. Serena headed into the shower first while Bernie went to make them some coffee and omelettes. She liked to make Serena breakfast and Serena always appreciated any effort she made at all... with anything.

Serena appeared a while later downstairs in her silk robe... make up and hair done but not dressed yet. Bernie had already eaten her breakfast and gave Serena a kiss before heading upstairs to use the shower. It was nice having the house to themselves this morning... she never minded Jason being around but it was always more relaxed when they were just with each other.

Serena was tucking into the omelette that Bernie had made for her... it was really very delicious and light and very kind of her. Her phone flashed on the table with a text from Jason. She smiled... 'Hi Auntie Serena, I am going to stay at Celia's tonight as well, see you tomorrow, hope work goes ok today, Jason'. Serena was really happy that he felt comfortable in Celia's parents home, it was a huge step forward for him and she knew that if he felt ready for things he needed to be encouraged. She typed a quick reply back to him while she finished off her coffee and got some snacks from the cupboard to put in her bag for work.

Bernie came hurrying down the stairs and grabbed her coat from the hook... "I think we had better leave if we aren't going to be late..." she grinned at Serena and noticed Serena was beaming. Bernie gave her a puzzled look... "We have the house to ourselves tonight too... Jason is staying at Celia's again" Serena came to hold her hand and give her a kiss before they left for the day. They had to be professional at work and she wouldn't be able to kiss her again until much later...

They kissed for a few more minutes, Bernie completely forgetting for a moment the hurry she had been in... Serena had this affect on her.

When they got to the hospital, they walked along the corridor giving each other smiles that were just for each other, they realised they had to snap into work mode any minute and were taking the last few seconds of looking at each other before they became Ms Campbell and Ms Wolfe, Co-Leads of AAU and not just Serena and Bernie, in love with each other...

It was a busy day, lots of trauma patients and Serena was in theatre all afternoon without a break. Bernie was looking after the ward and left some lunch on Serena's desk for her for when she came out of theatre. She herself was sorting something out on Keller and may not see her, she always worried about Serena getting a break and eating something to keep her going.

Serena walked slowly to the office after being in theatre for four hours. She was tired and hungry and hadn't seen Bernie since before the operation... she missed her. She immediately saw a sandwich and a brownie for her with a note 'For you xx'.

She sank down into her chair and smiled, Bernie was so thoughtful, she was hoping to see her but this was lovely, she quietly ate and checked the time... 4.10pm... this was a very late lunch.

Bernie was held up on Keller for the next few hours... she was needed there as it was the weekend and they all tended to cover different areas if needed over weekends and as it was the festive season, they had to be flexible... she missed Serena and hoped she was out of theatre by now.

At around 6.30pm, Bernie headed back to the AAU office... Serena was sat waiting for her looking tired but beautiful... "Hi... how was theatre..?" Bernie went straight over to her and rubbed her shoulder affectionately. Serena looked around to see if anyone would notice and realising they were 'safe' she kissed her on the lips. "I missed you... it was fine... can we go now... are you ready...?"

Bernie nodded and collected her bag from under the desk and her coat from the stand. They walked along the corridor looking at each other. "What do you fancy for dinner...?" Serena was whispering, she didn't really want to advertise it round the whole hospital that they spent every evening together... she didn't really care deep down but perhaps not best to advertise it!

Bernie smiled at her..." How about I cook us a steak...?" Serena beamed..."Are you sure...?" Bernie nodded and indicated that they would need to stop off at the supermarket to get some bits on the way to Serena's. Serena nodded and mentioned that they needed some more wine too. Bernie smirked at her. Serena and her Shiraz...

When they finally got to Serena's, after quite a while at the supermarket in the end, Bernie took the bags through to the kitchen while Serena went upstairs to freshen up. She felt dirty after being in theatre and wanted to feel much nicer to have dinner with Bernie. She was very aware that she had fallen asleep before they had... last night and with Jason away tonight too she didn't want to pass up another opportunity...

Bernie served up marinaded steak with new potatoes and asparagus. She had poured Serena some wine and a whiskey for herself. They settled at the table chatting about the day and Bernie had put a notepad and pen on the table so they could start to plan Christmas Day tonight while they ate. Serena smiled... this was really thoughtful.

They decided to cook the Christmas Dinner together and made a list of what they should make to eat. They didn't need anything prepared for Christmas Eve as Serena was going to take Elinor out for something to eat to explain the 'situation' and Bernie was going to come round later to stay after Serena had had chance to spend some time alone with her daughter.

They decided to do a bit of a buffet on Christmas night for everyone so they would need food for that too, they made a rough list and also made a list of drink needed... Serena wanted to make sure they had plenty to get through it! Bernie chuckled..."It will be just fine, don't worry Serena" she held her hand and stroked over her fingers reassuringly.

Serena poured them some more to drink as they finished their food. "Thank you for... cooking... it was really very delicious...". Bernie smiled at her shyly and whispered "I think you are... delicious..." Serena blushed. "You look gorgeous and I feel.... well... I haven't had chance to change..." Bernie was looking at her intensely.

Serena smiled..."You were cooking and you look stunning to me... you always do..."

They moved onto the sofa, kissing and Bernie was stroking Serena's face. "I....umm...think..."

"Yes....?" Serena was smiling at her, she thought it was too adorable the way Bernie started off talking but then needed a minute to think about the words to use so she waited...

"I think... I need a shower... Serena.. I think I should get... well... clean...". Serena gave her a wink, "How about I get you... clean...?" Bernie grinned at her..."Are you sure you aren't too tired... for that...?". Serena shook her head, she was aroused and well when she had taken the lead the last time... in the shower, it had made her feel both powerful and weak all at once for Bernie... it was hot.

They headed upstairs... towards the main bathroom... Serena wanted to try something with Bernie tonight that she hadn't had the courage to do yet...

Bernie was undressing Serena and pulled her hand towards the shower... hang on... Serena thought she was in control here... in this... scenario... she whispered into Bernie's ear..."Let me... you know... be in control..." Bernie nodded biting her lower lip... god... this was very... sexy...

Serena was pushing Bernie up against the tiles under the hot shower kissing her neck and then her way down to Bernie's hard nipples, she had already used expensive shower wash to gently... wash... and soap up Bernie's breasts and was now feeling confident to try feeling between her legs... and pushing gently inside...

Bernie gasped..."What are you doing...? Serena... you don't have to do that... you can just... you know... rub me." Serena just put her other finger to Bernie's lips and carried on, she felt in control here and Bernie's face showed her what she was doing was right... they pressed against each other under the pressure of the power shower and Bernie was now kissing Serena so passionately...

It didn't take long... Bernie was shaking and grabbing hold of Serena's waist so tightly. Serena felt elated... that had gone... well... better than she had hoped.

They dried off with fresh towels in the bathroom then collapsed onto the bed in Serena's room. Bernie was grinning at her..."What made you want to do that... to me... it was... amazing..." Serena smiled at her... "I just felt.... well... it was about time... I tried..."

They held onto one another and Bernie stroked Serena's face before they were kissing again. Serena was aching for Bernie to work her magic on her and Bernie needed no encouragement.... she was undoing Serena's towel and working her way kissing down Serena's stomach, pulling herself back up to kiss her lips and hard nipples before pulling her towel completely off the bed and grabbing her hips... she couldn't wait any longer...

They lay in the dark cuddled up together, neither had realised they hadn't bothered to put on any lamps... they had been too occupied in thinking of other things... too wrapped up in a passionate moment... too focused on each other like always now...


	36. Sunday

It was a relatively quiet working day on AAU, Serena and Bernie were both in the office doing paperwork and trying not to look at each other... very difficult. They had a rule now that when they had admin to do they would work quietly and not look at each other otherwise they would either giggle or give each other seductive looks... which had been fun at first but it had meant not enough work was getting done and they really had to keep things professional if they were to continue working together...

Bernie had arranged for them to meet Charlotte for a drink this evening and Serena was feeling nervous... she was going to pop home before meeting Bernie and Charlotte later on as she wanted to check on Jason as she hadn't seen him properly for a couple of days. Bernie was going to stay at her flat tonight to check on things and that meant Charlotte could go back to spend some time with her mother after a drink. Bernie wanted to talk to Charlotte about Christmas presents and the plan for Christmas Day, she also thought it wouldn't be too pressured if Serena just met them for a quick drink rather than Charlotte meeting 'them', Bernie wanted to keep it as low key as possible.

Their shifts went quite quickly and Bernie was going to leave first to head to her flat to get ready and catch up on some laundry. Serena shut the office door and made sure the blinds were shut, she walked over to sit on Bernie's desk and perched on it in front of her. Bernie pulled her into a soft kiss..."It is extremely difficult to concentrate when you are sat opposite me... Serena... I keep thinking about last night and..." Serena blushed but kissed her back intensely.

She was stroking her hair and kissing her neck softly before pulling away reluctantly. "I will see you around 8pm" Bernie smiled at her, she knew Serena was nervous and squeezed her hand..." Just be your lovely self" Serena nodded and smiled at her shyly. Bernie picked up her bag and collecting her jacket from the back of the chair headed into the corridor to go out to her car.

Serena left about half an hour later and sent Jason a text from the car before she set off to say she was bringing some fish and chips in to have with him before she headed out for a drink. Jason text straight back while she was putting her seat belt on saying he would like an extra large portion of chips please, Serena smiled. She needed something to eat before heading out in a bit, she hadn't managed any lunch today just coffee and the odd biscuit from boxes that patients were bringing in for the AAU team for Christmas. Bernie had told her off for not having a proper lunch but Serena hadn't really been that hungry... she was nervous about meeting Bernie's daughter... she knew that Bernie and Charlotte hadn't had a great relationship during the divorce and she was apprehensive on how Charlotte would be with her - her mother's partner.

Bernie tidied round the flat and had a quick shower, she should really treat herself to some new clothes before Christmas got much nearer, perhaps she could go tomorrow or Wednesday when she had some time off. She also wanted to finish Christmas preparations, she had some presents left to get and then there was the wrapping... She usually didn't bother with Christmas cards but maybe she could get some special ones this year, for Cam, Charlotte, Jason and of course... Serena.

She got a text through from Charlotte saying she was on her way to the pub they were meeting at, Bernie had offered to buy her dinner and said that Serena would meet them later for a drink. She smiled to herself... she actually wasn't nervous at all... the last time she had chatted with Charlotte things were really good and well... she was completely happy with Serena and knew Charlotte would like her... how could anyone not love Serena.

Serena arrived home with piping hot fish and chips and Jason met her at the door with a hug... "Auntie Serena, i've missed you". "Hi Jason... are you ok...?" Serena was concerned that he hadn't had a nice time at Celia's but Jason reassured her that he had but he had just missed her which Serena thought was sweet.

They ate at the kitchen table before Jason settled in front of the TV tired and Serena went upstairs to take a quick shower. She wanted to make a good impression on Charlotte and well obviously she wanted Bernie to think she had made an effort when she was meeting her daughter.

Bernie arrived at the pub first and got them some drinks, she knew Charlotte liked white wine and got two glasses for them. Charlotte suddenly saw her and came straight over... "Mum... hi... how are you?" she gave Bernie a quick hug and Bernie nodded to one of the glasses of wine on the counter... "That's for you". Charlotte thanked her and they went to find some seats in a quieter booth near the entrance so Serena would see them when she came along in a bit.

Bernie thought Charlotte looked lovely, she had clearly made an effort and looked relaxed as they settled into chatting about Holby and Uni assignments... Charlotte was currently in the middle of a big one that had to be finished for the 23rd. Bernie smiled at her... "Thank you for coming out tonight then... you must be very busy". Charlotte smiled... "It's fine... I needed a break and well... I want to meet Serena before Christmas Day." Bernie nodded, she was still grateful to her daughter.

Serena parked the car in the pub car park and sat for a minute to collect herself... this was important. She hadn't had a drink to steady her nerves because she needed to drive to the pub and wanted to get home ok afterwards. She would have a small glass of wine inside but that was her limit. She shut the car door and pulled her coat round her a bit more, it was a cold night, as she made her way to the entrance where there was a nice Christmas tree.

Bernie saw Serena enter the pub and got up to go towards her so Serena would see where they were... she thought Serena looked gorgeous, as always, she had dressed up a bit more, Bernie noticed these things. She kissed Serena on the cheek... "Hi...." Serena smiled at her and looked at Charlotte "Hi Charlotte... it's lovely to meet you..."

Charlotte had got up now and gave Serena a hug. "It's lovely to meet you too Serena.... can I get you a drink...?" Serena smiled at her, that was kind, she knew Charlotte was a student so shook her head politely and said she would get some drinks in and asked what Bernie and Charlotte would like. She went to the bar and thought how much Charlotte looked like Bernie... she didn't feel as nervous now... it would be fine.

Charlotte sat by Serena with Bernie on the other side of the table. They all chatted about Christmas and Charlotte mentioned she was looking forward to coming to Serena's house. Serena smiled and said she was very welcome. "You are also welcome to bring your boyfriend... if you want to... your mum says you are seeing someone?" Charlotte nodded that yes she was seeing someone but they weren't at the stage of spending Christmas together yet and that it was kind of Serena to ask but she would rather come with Cam if that was ok. Serena smiled and asked Charlotte about her Uni course. Bernie smiled at them chatting away... this was great... more than great... what more could she want than this moment going well...

Serena went to leave at around 10.15pm, she understood that Charlotte and Bernie would perhaps like some time together but Bernie grabbed her hand gently and pulled her back down to her seat. "Charlotte is being picked up in a minute and well.... do you want some time to yourself tonight at home or well...?" she was giving Serena those gorgeous eyes she loved so much. Serena beamed at her... "You know I never want space to myself anymore... not when I could be with you". Bernie put her hand subtly on Serena leg under the table, she knew she couldn't kiss her here... really... but she grinned at her and Charlotte noticed her mum looking at Serena... full of love and well... the chemistry between them was evident...

"I will leave you two ladies to it... it was so nice to meet you Serena... I will see you on Christmas Day... please let me know if I can bring anything..." she came to give Serena another hug and turned to give her mum one too whispering quietly in her ear "You are lucky mum... she is so lovely..." Bernie beamed and nodded... "Good luck with getting the assignment finished" and with that Charlotte had picked up her coat and scarf and left the pub.

"So...." Bernie turned back to Serena leaning her head on her shoulder... "Can I stay with you then...?" You don't have to ask... darling... you are always welcome" she gave Bernie a wink and they stood up to go out into the cold. Bernie had driven to the pub as well so they both made their separate ways to Serena's.

Jason came straight into the hall to greet his auntie when he heard the key in the lock... he knew she was meeting Bernie's daughter and it was a 'big thing'. When he immediately saw Bernie he laughed 'I knew it, I knew it". Serena gave him a questioning look...

"I knew you couldn't spend a night apart... I knew when Auntie Serena said you were not going to spend the night together tonight that you would..." Bernie smiled sheepishly, "Well Jason... I am totally... crazily in love with your auntie and there are no other reasons than that... we intend to spend some time apart but it never seems to work..." Serena laughed at this and nodded. It was true... they were inseparable and it felt so wonderful. She never wanted to be apart from Bernie... they were always better... together.


	37. Monday

Bernie woke suddenly not knowing what time it was... she was in Serena's bed but Serena wasn't in it, she felt carefully over to the empty space next to her and remembered that Serena would be at work now... how had she managed not to wake up when Serena was getting ready... either Serena was extremely quiet or she must have been in a really deep sleep...

She turned to see if Serena had left her a note... of course she had... 'I love you xx'. Bernie grinned and immediately reached for her mobile to type a text to Serena, she noticed it was 9.50am and Serena would have been at work since 8.30am. She snuggled under the sheets typing out the text and trying to find a spot on Serena's pillow where she could smell her perfume. She found one where she could catch it faintly and breathed it in while finishing typing.

Serena was having a quick sit down in the office before she had statistics to complete... her phone flashed... she immediately looked at it to see if it was from Bernie, it was... she beamed... 'I love you too... I think I am actually addicted to you... I may need therapy :) xx'.

Bernie took a long, hot shower... god she loved Serena's shower and she used some of the expensive products Serena kept in there... luxury. She had decided to hit the shops for the last of her gifts, some cards and she was going to cook for Serena at her place tonight... Celia was staying at Serena's with Jason so it gave them all the opportunity to have some 'together time'.

Serena was in theatre during most of the day, she was looking forward to staying at Bernie's tonight and knew that Jason would be ok as Celia was planning to stay. Jason was going to get some food in which was helpful of him, he liked to help Serena with some of the chores and he didn't mind the supermarket. He was happy to get up to about ten items... after that he got a bit stressed so Serena always gave him short lists!

Bernie trudged round the shops, it was cold and she would prefer to be doing it with Serena or actually she had enjoyed shopping with Jason. She found it difficult to make decisions on her own that involved things like presents and well... clothes, she didn't always have the patience! She spent about forty five minutes in Clinton Cards trying to pick the perfect card for Serena and two for Cam and Charlotte. She kept reading the words inside the cards over and over again, none of them seemed perfect... in the end after all that she chose one for Charlotte that was nice and left to look in WH Smtihs. There she found the other cards she was looking for and wrapping. Serena had promised to wrap all of the gifts as Bernie didn't have the patience but she was happy to buy most of the gifts that were left on the list including some for the AAU team from both of them.

After feeling fairly happy with her purchases, she had a quick break for a hot chocolate and panini before she would hit the clothes shops... she really wanted some new clothes, especially to wear over Christmas... she liked to look nice but hadn't bothered too much in the past... now though... she had a certain lady to impress and she wanted Serena to find her attractive.

Serena finished at 5pm and headed home to pack her bag to go to Bernie's. Bernie had offered to cook tonight, they could of course go out but they both preferred eating in together so they could chat, kiss and touch each other without feeling self conscious. Serena knew Bernie was now comfortable with who she was and Serena was getting there but neither of them were the sort of people to make huge public displays of affection or even medium public displays of affection for that matter! They were subtle people really when it came to romance and love and in each others homes they could fully relax.

She took a hot shower and packed some clothes into her leather bag feeling excited... she still got butterflies when she knew she was going to spend time with Bernie... she knew Bernie had been shopping today and she wanted to hear all about what she had got over dinner.

She heard the key in the lock downstairs and went down to see Jason. "Hi Auntie Serena..." Jason smiled up at her and Serena went to give him a brief hug. "How are you Jason?" He had bags of shopping and they both headed to the kitchen to have a cup of tea and catch up. Jason was looking forward to Celia coming round and he unpacked some pizza's, garlic bread, dips and drinks. Serena thought it was sweet of him to think of everything they may need. "Jason... you know I am staying at Bernie's tonight... you can contact me on my mobile if you need to" Jason was nodding and smiling, he was fine with this... it was like having his own place to have Celia round but he knew Serena was there for him if he needed her and he also had Bernie now too, he knew that if he needed anything Bernie would be there for him too, he trusted her.

Bernie got home around 5.30pm, she had been shopping for nearly six hours... who does that?? Bernie Wolfe apparently... she just couldn't decide on things and had got flustered looking at clothes. The gifts she was happy with but it had taken ages to pick out some new clothes and she had gone a bit mad... she could look nice now she didn't have to succumb to army wear most of the time! She layed out the shopping bags on the bed and decided she must take a quick shower now as Serena would be here in forty five minutes and she wanted to make a start on dinner too.

There was a knock on the door at 6.20pm and Bernie answered it to see Serena there looking all gorgeous with a bottle of wine. "Hi..." Serena whispered, "Hi... " Bernie pulled her inside and into a deep kiss against the wall. Serena carefully put the wine on the floor while still kissing Bernie and now her hands were free she pulled Bernie's face closer so their lips were hungrily kissing each other.

Serena pulled apart to breathe and noticed that Bernie was wearing a new top. "You look... gorgeous" Serena was staring at her and taking it in... it was navy and long with a tie at the back pulling the waist in... casual but smart. "Oh... do you like it? I got it today... I went a bit crazy with the credit card". Bernie looked a bit sheepish and pulled Serena gently by the hand into the kitchen.

"Can I get you a drink Serena...? I need to finish off dinner". Serena nodded and gave Bernie the bottle of wine she had bought so they could share it. She could smell something amazing cooking and followed Bernie to the stove where she could see a Thai Green curry bubbling slightly in the pan."That smells delicious..." Serena was smiling at her and as she looked through to Bernie's bedroom where there was a lamp on, she could see masses of shopping bags piled up on the bed.

Serena playfully grabbed Bernie round the waist..."How much stuff did you... buy..??!!" her eyes darted to the bags on Bernie's bed. "Oh...ummm...yes...quite a lot...if you look in the small brown bag at the front... the gifts for AAU are in there... please don't look in any others...oh...except the Debenhams one... you can look in there".

Serena went through to the bedroom and picked up the brown bag first to find restaurant gift vouchers for Morven, Raf and Fletch. Serena had said she would get chocolates for the other staff on AAU. She thanked Bernie for getting them and picked up the Debenhams bag... inside she found a silky... floaty top. "That's for you..." Bernie was blushing. Serena held it up in front of her... it was beautiful. She looked at Bernie "Serena I saw it and thought you would look gorgeous in it... maybe you could wear it over Christmas... if you like it?". Serena was nodding still kind of speechless... wow... the top was really beautiful and it was really sweet of Bernie to buy it for her. "Thank you..." Serena had gone back over to the stove and was kissing Bernie while she was trying to dish up the curry with fluffy rice she had made.

"So... did you get everything you wanted to today..." Bernie nodded while they tucked into dinner. "How was work..." Bernie was smiling at Serena still really pleased that she had liked the top she had picked for her. "Yes... it was fine... I still... can't... believe... you got me that top... it's just so lovely of you... and I love it." Bernie's cheeks flushed pink..."It's really nothing Serena... I just saw it and thought you would look really lovely in it." Serena grinned at her...."I love this curry... you've made it before..?" Bernie nodded. She didn't want to say that it was Marcus' favourite that she had made.

They discussed the rest of the gifts for Christmas and made a new list together of what was still to get. Bernie had another day off on Wednesday and was happy to get the food shopping for Christmas Day then as well as pick up everything else they needed. Serena sent Jason a quick text to see if Celia had got there ok and also to check whether he was ok himself. He texted her straight back reassuring her that everything was fine and he hoped she was having a nice evening.

"So... what else did you get today... can I see?" They had finished eating dinner and were relaxing on the sofa with glasses of wine when Bernie nodded and went to fetch the bags that Serena could see. She had picked up the last of Serena's gifts earlier and there was her card too that Serena couldn't look at yet!

She showed Serena the new clothes she had got and Serena very much approved... especially new skinny jeans which Bernie looked totally hot in. Serena couldn't help but stare at her backside which Bernie found very flattering. She didn't see that it was anything special but Serena certainly did and grabbed her playfully down onto the sofa pulling them off...

Bernie was chuckling and showing her the rest of the items... she had got a new wool jacket and scarf which Serena liked very much, she could happily snuggle up to Bernie wearing those... anytime.

Bernie pulled her into a cuddle and they kissed for a long time just gazing at each other... "I can't believe our first Christmas together is... less than five days away now..." Bernie was smiling at her and Serena nodded smiling back. "We have the Christmas do tomorrow evening... do you want to go...?" Bernie shrugged, it wasn't really her thing, she preferred quieter drinks but she knew Serena would want to stay so she nodded that she would be happy doing whatever Serena wanted.

Serena gazed into her eyes... "I think I have changed you know..." "You have...?" Bernie was stroking her hair and kissing down her neck. "Yes... I actually would prefer just to spend time with... you... but we had better show our faces for a bit... to be... well.. sociable". Bernie pulled her down and mumbled something like "Yeah" but Serena couldn't make out anymore as Bernie was pulling her trousers off so they were both the same now and went back to kissing her lips... Serena knew where this was heading and her head leant back onto the arm of the sofa as she let Bernie do what she liked... pure heaven...


	38. Tuesday (The Evening of the Episode The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Serena was perched on a swivel chair by the bedside of Fletch's mate Artem watching Bernie play cards. Fletch had persuaded Bernie and Morven earlier to give him some games to cheer him up as it was nearly Christmas. Bernie had said that Serena could go onto Albie's without her to have a drink with their colleagues but Serena wouldn't hear of it. Wherever Bernie was... she wanted to be... and she kind of wanted to see Bernie in action... her undefeated title on the army tours was very impressive and frankly extremely... attractive!

Morven was currently playing a game with Artem while Bernie had a quick break. Serena took her hand and pulled her to the office...

She closed the door and pushed Bernie with force against it, kissing her passionately... Bernie was grinning at her.... told you I was undefeated... she went back to kissing Serena's soft lips and pushing her body back against her. Serena pulled away smiling..."You haven't won yet... you have one more game after Morven..." Bernie grinned..."It's in the bag...".

"You should go and have a drink Serena... I can join you after...?" Serena still wouldn't leave Bernie's side and frankly she didn't much care now who in the hospital knew it... she was with Bernie Wolfe and she loved her... who cares! If anyone had a problem with that Serena Campbell wouldn't care anymore, not that she had come up against any issues so far... Fletch, Raf, Ric and Morven were aware and seemed pleased for them... not that they went round advertising it but it wasn't exactly a secret!

Serena's head sank on to Bernie's shoulder... I hope the game is quick... I would really like to get you home... to myself..." Bernie gave a smirk..."Isn't Jason at home tonight...?" "Yes... well... we can be... quiet?!" Bernie let out a laugh..."I can be extremely... quiet... you on the other hand..." Serena felt her cheeks burning... yes perhaps... quiet wasn't an appropriate word for how she had been so far in the bedroom department with Bernie... she couldn't help it... how she felt when Bernie was.... well...yes.

They headed back to the bay where Artem was finishing his game with Morven, Fletch was standing by him looking at his hand of cards and Morven was obviously losing as her face said it all! Serena went over to her and touched her arm... "Are you ok...?" Morven dropped her cards down on the bed and Artem chuckled..." I won!" Morven smiled at Bernie and Serena and got up to go to Albie's... "Are you two coming along afterwards..? She was looking between Serena and Bernie's faces...

Bernie looked at Serena and Serena shook her head... "No I think we'll head home...". She gave Morven some money to have some drinks on them. Morven gave Serena a huge hug...."That is so kind... thank you... both". Bernie smiled at her and settled to finish off playing with Artem. Fletch motioned to Morven that he would be there shortly at Albie's and Serena settled back on the chair to watch. She sent a quick text to Jason explaining what they were doing and that they would be home in the next hour, hopefully!

Bernie of course won and she was very smug about it, collecting the bags of chocolate coins and pocketing them to take away. "Merry Christmas Arty..." she gave him a kiss on his cheek and a wink before grabbing Serena's hand and pulling her back into the office. Serena was seriously impressed and... turned on. Bernie looked gorgeous in her black top that she had worn for the 'Christmas Do' as the card playing had been a last minute change of plan to help Fletch out!

"Are you sure about Albie's...?" Bernie was sure Serena would fancy a Christmas drink but Serena still holding her hand grabbed her bag and coat nodded her head and pulled Bernie towards the door. "Hang on..." Bernie needed to collect her own things..." Someone's eager..." Serena blushed and nodded making sure the office was now shut and they had everything. She was working tomorrow but Bernie had the day off offering to cover AAU at the end of the week on her own so that Serena could finish getting ready for Christmas.

The car was freezing cold as they drove to Serena's. Jason had put some pizza's aside that they could have when they got in, he had ventured to the supermarket again after work before heading home. Serena had her fingers grasping Bernie's thigh and Bernie gave her a look... "Urrr Serena you are going to have to... wait... we have to have tea when we get to yours... and Jason will be there..." Serena pouted..."I know... I know... it's just..." "It's just what...?" Bernie was grinning at her.

Serena looked down embarrassed and then stared out of the window taking her hand off Bernie's thigh... ok... she better calm down...

Bernie grabbed her hand gently and placed it back where it had been on her thigh and smiled.

Jason greeted them at the door and gave them each a brief hug which was sweet, Bernie thought. They went through to the kitchen to eat and Jason stayed with them to chat while they ate. He had eaten slightly earlier and was going to watch TV in a bit. "How's Celia... Jason?" Bernie was chatting to him while Serena was getting them some wine. "Yes she's fine thank you Bernie". Serena touched him on the shoulder gently..."Are you ok... did you have a nice evening yesterday...?" Jason nodded and said they had been wrapping Christmas presents.

He fetched two cards from the side and gave one each to Serena and to Bernie. They opened them smiling and were touched with the cards Jason had chosen for them. Serena had a 'Special Auntie' card from him and Bernie had a 'Someone Special' card. Bernie was left kind of speechless... she thanked him shyly and went back to eating her pizza. She knew people with Asperger's sometimes found it difficult to express feelings, communicate and were quite literal, she was deeply touched by his kind words to her.

They drank cups of tea afterwards and Bernie noticed Serena staring at her. Bernie gave her a puzzled look then remembered how Serena had been on the drive back and immediately chuckled... Jason gave her a look not understanding why she was laughing. "Sorry... Jason... I remembered I have to give Cam a call..." She got up from her chair and headed for the door motioning to Serena with her eyes to follow her.

Serena finished eating and made sure Jason was settled in the lounge with a drink so she could make a 'safe getaway'. She practically ran up the stairs and searched for Bernie who was in bed under the covers wearing just her underwear... Serena virtually pounced on her pulling off her pants and kissing her neck firmly as she unhooked Bernie's bra and pulled her down under her. There was no talking just frantic love making... Serena didn't think she had been undressed by another person so quickly... ever or with such passion. They tried to be quiet... although... Serena really couldn't contain herself at one point and Bernie couldn't stop laughing at what Jason might think... luckily he was downstairs but even so...

Serena was laying with Bernie's head on her chest and stroking her messy blonde hair... she loved Bernie's hair anyway but after... sex... it was particularly sexy... more bedraggled but stylish... Serena kissed her lips softly and they lay gazing at each other...

"Maybe... I should play cards... you know... every week..." Bernie was looking up at her grinning. Serena chuckled and nodded..." Mmmm" going back to kissing the love of her life... quietly.


	39. Wednesday

Bernie woke slowly, it must be early... the alarm hadn't gone off yet for Serena to get up for work... she realised Serena's arm was over her stomach and slowly moved it without waking her to check the time on her mobile... 6.47am. The alarm would be going off at 7am, she watched Serena breathe in and out slowly, her eye lashes fluttering... Bernie just lay watching her... she looked so beautiful.

The alarm woke Serena and she looked over to see Bernie lazily looking at her. "Good morning..." Serena smiled, "How long have you been watching me...?" "Oh not long... I guess I was mesmerized..." Serena laughed but Bernie was looking at her seriously so she flashed her a smile and cuddled up closer so their bodies were entwined.

"I don't want to be apart from you..." Bernie was nuzzling her neck with her lips and stroking her stomach. Serena looked deeply into her eyes..."Same..." they kissed for a few minutes until Serena shifted to get up and use the shower leaving Bernie to go back to sleep for a bit. She knew Bernie had a lot of shopping to do today... she had offered to order most of it online but Bernie wouldn't hear of it... she was more than happy to pick it up at the supermarket today.

When Serena was ready, she gave Bernie a kiss on the forehead as she had fallen asleep and left her a note by the bed before heading downstairs to grab some fruit and a coffee on the way out. She saw that Jason was sitting in the lounge waiting for her to go. He was looking at his watch and giving her a look... "I'm sorry..." Serena picked up her coat and scarf from the coat peg and they hurried out of the door.

On the way to work Jason asked Serena if they could perhaps go to the Christmas market in town after work tonight... he wanted to take Celia tomorrow but always preferred to test things first to see how he coped with them.

Serena thought for a second and said it should be fine but she would need to text Bernie to let her know that they would be later home. Jason said that Bernie was welcome to meet them, it was fine with him and Serena smiled and nodded.

Bernie headed to the supermarket with a a massive list that covered two sides of A4 paper... Serena had written most of it with Bernie drawing little doodles next to some of the items which had made Serena laugh. She parked the car after ten minutes of driving round... god the shops were getting so busy... she hoped to get everything done in this one shop so she wouldn't have to venture to them again before Christmas.

As she picked up her bag from the front seat her mobile fell out and she noticed a text from Serena... 'Miss you, Jason wants to go to the Christmas market after work, would you like to meet us there if you're not busy? He asked you to come, can let me know later, hope shopping goes ok xx'. Bernie smiled, that would be nice to head to the market later, they hadn't had chance to go yet and she thought it would be a nice thing to do.

AAU was hectic and Serena tried to pace herself with the stream of patients coming through. Most staff were in except for Bernie of course, they had shared the work load this week so both got some time off. Serena got up to date with the paperwork and ward rounds, happy not to be in theatre today... she didn't want to be too worn out for the Christmas market later and well... she hadn't got much sleep last night... neither had Bernie...they had got quite carried away with each other and then lay talking into the early hours laying in each others arms... this is something she had never done with Edward or Robbie... it was a first... although she hadn't told Bernie.

Bernie kept up a pace round the aisles picking up everything on the list... she got fairly impatient with some people leaving their trolleys around and in her way! She tried to take deep breaths though and be patient... it was the season of good will after all. She picked up all of the Christmas drink and had to smile to herself at the number of bottles of Shiraz Serena had put on the list!

After shopping, Bernie headed to her flat to drop some things off and pick up other things, she didn't mind at all staying at Serena's most of the time, she would be there full time if asked but knew it was far too soon for them... she knew deep down it was what they both wanted but it was also nice the way things were at the moment... why change things. She did some laundry and wrapped up her presents for Serena. She also made a lasagne to take round for tea later, she knew they would be hungry after spending time at the Christmas market.

Serena and Jason were having a cup of tea in the office after finishing work. Jason was very excited about going to the market and asked if Bernie was joining them. Serena nodded smiling and said that yes she was meeting them at 6pm. They collected their bags and coats and headed to the car. It was cold but clear and Serena had made sure she wrapped up today. They headed into town but took a while to find a parking space, everywhere was busy and Jason was getting anxious.

"It's ok... Jason, we'll find one in a minute..." Serena tried to keep him calm and finally they found one in the shopping centre car park. They walked down the street in the cold towards the bright lights of where the market started. Jason wanted a hot chocolate so Serena bought him one and they wandered around the stalls. Jason looked a bit anxious as it was getting busy but he held onto Serena's arm and tried to stay calm.

Bernie parked ok and sent a text to Serena saying she was walking to the market to meet them. She had achieved a lot today and had made sure she had a coffee before heading out to keep her going! She had missed Serena today and was looking forward to going round the market. Her phone flashed with a reply... 'We are by the clock, missed you xx'. Bernie headed there and saw Jason waving.

Her heart melted, it was really very cold and she perhaps should have put a thicker coat on but wanted to wear her new jacket. Serena came towards her to give her a hug... "I missed you..." she held onto Bernie tightly and Bernie kissed her hair before squeezing Jason's arm affectionately. "Hi... you both look cold do you want some hot drinks...?" Jason nodded... although he had already had a hot chocolate he could easily drink another and Serena wanted some mulled wine. Bernie went to the bar to get their drinks while Serena and Jason found a wooden bench by the choir so they could listen to the carols. Bernie looked over and smiled at them... this was so lovely and she couldn't believe she got to do this with them.

They all sat listening to the carols, Jason was getting a bit hyper after two hot chocolates and was singing along very loudly. Serena looked embarrassed but Bernie just touched her arm smiling. "By the way.... I got all the food and drink for Christmas so you don't have to worry... there is quite a lot of it though!" Serena smiled gratefully and kissed her cheek leaning her head on Bernie's shoulder... "Thank you... so much for doing all that" Bernie shrugged... "It was fine... how were the wards today..." Serena chatted a little bit about patients Bernie would need to check on tomorrow. They held hands under the table and Bernie was stroking over Serena's fingers gently trying to warm them up. 

"Aren't you cold... ?" Serena was whispering into Bernie's ear. Bernie nodded a bit but said she was fine. Serena put her arm around her and put her hat on Bernie's head laughing. Bernie turned to Jason... "What do you think... Jason?" Jason burst out laughing and said she looked 'ridiculous'. Serena looked kind of hurt but Bernie just grinned at her... "It looks properly cute on you... sweetheart".

Serena's heart stopped beating... did Bernie just call her... sweetheart? Oh my god! She grinned at Bernie and Bernie just shrugged and looked away. Jason was still laughing and didn't seem to have heard. This melted Serena's heart... Bernie Wolfe had just called her 'sweetheart' and Serena couldn't stop grinning for the rest of the evening.


	40. Thursday

It was a quiet morning on AAU and Bernie was sat with Morven having a coffee and brownies in the office. Morven was cheery and full of the festive season... she couldn't wait for Christmas Day. Bernie was smiling at her, she actually felt excited herself about Christmas this year and Morven asked what she was doing without prying. Bernie mentioned that she was staying at Serena's and Cam and Charlotte were coming round for Christmas Dinner. Morven gave her a delightful smile... "That sounds lovely..." she touched Bernie's arm and asked about Serena's daughter. Bernie mentioned that yes she was staying at Serena's for a few days and no she didn't know about their relationship yet.

Movern was very encouraging and said it would all be fine. "You look happy... Bernie... and so does Serena... since i've known her she hasn't been like she is now... with you... she seems... radiant". Bernie chuckled and took a sip of coffee looking embarrassed. "No really... you make her very happy" Morven was smiling at her and Bernie nodded looking down again... it was never easy for her to hear compliments.

Serena woke up late and felt to the side of her with her hand before remembering that Bernie would be at work... she rolled onto her side to check the time... 10.52am. She saw a note from Bernie and smiled... 'I love you, I need you, I miss you xx'. She sank back under the sheets and found one of Bernie's hairs on her pillow. She picked it up between her fingers and stroked it before putting it on the side. She was still smiling to herself.

She pulled on her silky robe, Bernie had become quite fond of her other one and it was tossed on the chair by the door. Bernie had obviously worn it when she got out of the shower earlier. Serena picked it up and put it back on the hook in the en suite before heading downstairs for something to eat. Jason was sitting at the kitchen table having some toast, he had broken up from work for Christmas using some more of his holiday so was at home now until the middle of next week.

Serena smiled at him "Good morning... are you ok Jason?" Jason nodded and offered to get Serena some toast as he was making some more for himself. Serena nodded gratefully and made a coffee for herself and a tea for Jason. They sat chatting for a bit. Jason had decided against taking Celia to the Christmas Market, he had enjoyed it last night but it was a bit busy for him and he had only been ok because Serena and Bernie had looked after him and made sure he was ok, he decided he wanted to stay in today.

Serena suddenly looked round the kitchen properly now it was light, my god Bernie had bought masses of Christmas food and there were drinks everywhere. She smiled to herself, at least they wouldn't run out and she guessed she was lucky that Bernie had gone and got it all and she had actually written the list herself! Jason was looking at the piles of food stacked on the counter and on the shelves and asked how many people were actually coming over for Christmas. Serena chuckled and reassured him that it was four of them staying here including Elinor and that Cameron and Charlotte were just coming for Christmas Day.

Serena spent some of the day sorting out Elinor's bedroom ready for her arrival the day after next. She felt nervous again about telling her about Bernie. She thought again about what Jason had said 'Just tell her you love Bernie, keep it simple'. Serena knew it wasn't simple though. Jason and Bernie had only really come into her life quite recently. Elinor had been in her life for well... much much longer. She had been married to her dad.

Bernie's afternoon went quickly, she wanted to make sure everyone was in good spirits and was actually working with Cam. It was nice to spend some time with him even if they were at work and she was steadily impressed with how grown up he seemed and conscientious. She left on time and headed back to Serena's looking forward to seeing her and spending the evening finishing off the Christmas gift wrapping and preparations.

Jason saw Bernie's car pull up outside, he was putting some candles in the hall window and opened the door to her. "Hello Bernie... how was work? It's very cold... would you like a cup of tea?" Bernie nodded smiling and asked Jason about his day. Jason explained that he had been doing some cleaning to help Serena and had tidied his room up ready for Christmas. Bernie listened while they headed for the kitchen and Jason put the kettle on. "I'm just going to say hello to Serena then i'll be back down for my tea... thanks Jason". Bernie hung her coat up in the hall and went upstairs to find where Serena was.

She found her asleep on the bed with her laptop to the side of her. The room was dark, Serena had obviously been in here for a bit. Bernie went to move the laptop off the bed and as she moved it the screen flicked on showing information on how to come out to family members. Bernie put it down carefully on the floor and kissed Serena on the forehead. Serena stirred lazily and reached out for her pulling her close... "I missed you today..."

Bernie sat more comfortably on the bed pulling Serena into her arms and stroking her face.. "Are you ok...?" Serena nodded and found her lips even in the dark and began kissing her softly. Bernie decided not to mention seeing what was on the laptop. Serena would talk to her if she wanted to. She just held her and talked about her day on the ward while Serena listened, her head on Bernie's chest, her favourite place to feel comfort. "Are you hungry...?" Serena was conscious she was meant to be cooking tonight.

Bernie nodded but looked into her eyes... "Your tired shall we eat out...?" Serena liked the idea a lot but said she needed to check with Jason as she knew he was tired today. She found Jason watching TV in the lounge and asked him about going to eat dinner out and Jason agreed happily on condition they could go to the Harvester as he really wanted the mixed grill. Serena smiled and said she would check with Bernie who was taking a quick shower to wash away her day on the ward.

Bernie was happy to eat out at the Harvester and they all set off in Bernie's car on the short drive to the local one. Serena had taken Jason before and he was comfortable there. They were seated quickly and luckily it wasn't too busy yet, they would eat earlier and then finish anything off later regarding Christmas things. Jason was chatting about the TV show he was currently watching while Bernie was trying hard to keep up with all the characters he mentioned!

Serena caught her eye and flashed her an extra beautiful smile, the one she only reserved for Bernie Wolfe. She saw Bernie's cheeks flush pink and smiled to herself.

Jason had his mixed grill while Serena went for the salmon and Bernie ordered one of the chicken dishes. They enjoyed some wine and it felt lovely to relax and eat knowing they could just head back to Serena's without any of the cooking or clearing away.

Jason went up to his room when they got back to play on the computer while Bernie made them both a coffee. Serena slipped her hand into Bernie's when they were alone in the kitchen and leaned into her neck putting her head on her shoulder and kissing it lightly. Bernie thought it would be ok to bring up what she had seen on Serena's laptop earlier without directly saying it... "Serena....?" "Yes....darling...." Serena was stroking Bernie's fringe out of her eyes now and looking at her intensely... "How are you feeling about telling... Elinor... are you ok about it...?" Serena sighed and turned to take a sip of the coffee Bernie had made for her...

"I'm feeling nervous and trying to get what I want to say right in my head first... but it's not easy...". They sat at the kitchen table holding hands and talking about it a bit more. Serena mentioned she had looked for some advice online and Bernie just nodded. "What do you want to say about it...?" Bernie was looking at her with concern, she certainly didn't want Serena to feel any pressure at all, she must wait until she felt ready.

Serena reassured her that she was ready and completely confident in her feelings for her. "I think I may say that I am in a new relationship and take it from there...." Bernie nodded and agreed that being as casual as possible was a good approach to hopefully not making it a huge deal even though it kind of was. "I want to say I'm in love with you... I want her to know that this isn't a phase... it is true and deep... and you're everything I want.." Bernie was blushing now and pulled her into a tight hug... "You are everything I want too Serena... I hope you know that."


	41. Friday

Serena woke reaching out for Bernie with her eyes still half closed, she realised she must have gone to work already. She hated waking up without her, the bed felt cold, empty and lonely. She checked the time... 9.08am. Bernie was starting at 8.30am this morning and Serena could see she had left a post it for her on the side 'I miss you already, can't wait to kiss you later xx'. Serena smiled, she loved Bernie's notes to her and kept every single one even though she hadn't told Bernie this... they were all in her bedside drawer.

She heard Jason shut his bedroom door and go downstairs, she pulled on her silky robe and headed downstairs to make some breakfast. "Auntie Serena, has Bernie gone to work?". "Good morning Jason... did you sleep well? Yes Bernie is working until 6pm today" Serena put the kettle on and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Yes i'm ok thank you, can we do something today, do you have time?" Serena smiled at him, she liked the fact that he liked to spend time with her. "What did you want to do?" Serena was making some pancakes for them for breakfast while Jason was washing up Bernie's breakfast things that were in the sink from earlier. "I do have some gifts to finish wrapping but we could go out for bit..." Serena did want to spend some time with him, she was conscious that a lot of her time was spent with Bernie and wanted to give Jason some time when he wanted it.

"I would like to visit the garden centre... again. The reindeers are here today... I wrote it down... look". Jason showed Serena his notebook where he had made a note of the dates when the reindeer would be at the garden centre for people to see. Serena smiled at him and agreed that yes they could go to the garden centre after lunch. Jason was beaming and after finishing eating his pancakes he went back upstairs to have a bath.

Serena tidied away in the kitchen and made another list of what was still to do for Christmas. She thought ahead to tomorrow when Elinor was going to arrive. She felt nervous again... she had received a text from her late last night indicating that she would be arriving about 4pm. Serena had sent a reply straight back saying that was fine and that she wanted to take her out for dinner to catch up. She hadn't had a reply to this text but that wasn't unusual, Elinor was very busy.

She finished wrapping Bernie's presents and then started wrapping Elinor's gifts. Bernie was going to wrap Charlotte's and Cam's, well... attempt to make a start, Serena guessed she may have to help later! Bernie had taken the AAU gifts into work today from them both to make sure everyone got them as some of the staff were breaking up for a few days today. The rota had been arranged at the start of the month to allow everyone time off at some point over the festive break.

Bernie had a busy day, she was working with Cam again which felt nice. He was asking her about Christmas Day and actually seemed quite excited about it. He had said that he had spoken to Charlotte and they were both planning to get to Serena's around 11.30am but stay for the whole day if that was ok, they wanted to sleep in though! Bernie chuckled and was just pleased to spend the day with both of them and of course... Serena.

She said to Cam that she was apprehensive about Serena's daughter's reaction to their relationship and Cam said if necessary he would speak to Elinor. Bernie thought how caring that was of him and how much he actually supported her. He had done since he had realised about her sexuality. It was the divorce and not being honest that had upset him not the part where she wanted to be with women... well one woman in particular!

Serena had a long shower and got dressed, tidying up the bedroom a bit. Bernie's things were all over the place, Serena had to smile, she didn't mind. Her navy robe that Bernie wore now all the time was in the bathroom but not on the hook, it was tossed over the glass standing shelf by the sink as was her deodorant spray, yesterday's socks and a tube of expensive face wash. Serena put things away so it looked more tidy... she actually took pleasure in seeing Bernie's things and liked them around... it made her feel happy and she still had butterflies when she thought of Bernie sleeping there.

Jason knocked on her bedroom door "Auntie Serena can we go...?" Serena opened the door and mentioned that she thought they were going after some lunch but Jason was impatient, he wanted to go now in case the reindeers had gone later. Serena calmed him down and agreed that yes they could go now but she would want something to eat there then if that was ok with him. Jason nodded and went to his room to pick up his bag.

They locked up the house and got into the car. It didn't take long to get there, Jason knew it would be busy and he was getting a bit anxious again. Serena touched his arm lightly and looked at him... "Jason... are you sure you want to go?" Jason nodded, they were going to have plenty of time and Serena would be there with him.

They arrived in the car park and it wasn't that busy at all, Serena felt very relieved. They headed through the entrance and saw a sign pointing to where the reindeer were. They had both wrapped up warm as it was chilly.

There were a few adults in the queue to see the reindeer and some younger children with their parents. Jason had bought his camera and wanted to take some photo's. Serena told him to wait... patiently until it was his turn. Jason gave her a look but Serena was used to these looks now and brushed it off, looking round at the plants next to them while they were waiting. She knew Bernie had loved the Poinsettia's when they been here last and had bought two. They reminded her of Bernie now and she thought about her at work and couldn't wait to see her later, she missed her.

"Is Celia still coming round tonight Jason...?" Serena was tring to keep him distracted while they were still queuing as he could get rather impatient. "No she can't come round now, I will take her present round to her house tomorrow." Jason seemed a bit irritated so Serena reminded him that it was very near Christmas now and Celia probably had a lot going on like lots of other people, it didn't mean that she didn't want to see him.

They were finally at the front of the queue and they were shown through into the small stable where the reindeer were. There were three of them and Jason was fascinated... "Can I touch them please?" he asked the member of staff inside the stable and they nodded just explaining that he needed to be quiet and gentle. Serena took a photo of him with the reindeers and her heart melted. This was such a sweet moment... she wished Bernie was there. Jason then wanted to take a photo of her with a reindeer which she did to keep him happy. It all felt very Christmassy, they could have been in Lapland really as there were Christmas fairy lights outside the small stable and quiet Christmas carols playing outside.

They then had to move to let the next people come in and see the reindeer which Jason was cross about but again Serena said quietly to him that they had had their turn and it was time to get some lunch. Jason nodded and reluctantly left following where Serena was heading towards the cafe. It was very nice and not too busy. They had some pulled pork sandwiches and soup and sat chatting for a bit.

Bernie gave out the gifts towards the end of her shift and left Raf's for him to collect in the morning when he was working next. She enjoyed this aspect of Christmas, she would always rather give presents than receive them, she always got a bit embarrassed and felt bad that she was the one getting the thank you hugs and not Serena even though the presents were from both of them as Co-Leads.

Cam had left the hospital about twenty minutes ago and Bernie had reassured him he would get his presents on Christmas Day which Cam smiled at. She packed up the office and left everything tidy, Raf was covering for her and Serena until Boxing Day and Ric was also keeping an eye on things over the weekend. Bernie and Serena had offered to then cover over the New Year weekend so it was fair, it suited all of them this way so everyone was happy.

When Bernie got to Serena's Jason answered the door immediately and raced to show her his photo's of the reindeer. She hadn't even had chance to take her coat off or put her bag down and she was actually aching to give Serena a kiss but she was patient and looked at his photo's thinking that Serena looked adorable on her photo with a reindeer. "Could you please send me that photo Jason?" Bernie wanted that as her screensaver! Jason nodded happily and started talking about the reindeers. Bernie couldn't hear Serena downstairs and thought she must be in her bedroom. She excused herself after another polite ten minutes of listening to Jason and headed upstairs.

She found Serena in the room she used as an office/study. She was sat at the large desk finishing writing Christmas cards. "Hi..." Bernie went straight over and wrapped her arms around Serena holding her against her chest tightly... "I missed you Serena..." Serena smiled at her and leant to kiss her, quickly making sure Jason wasn't behind Bernie or anything! They kissed deeply... Bernie had been aching to do this since this morning when she had left Serena in bed to go to work. Serena pulled away to breathe... she had been swept up in kissing and had forgotten to actually breathe!

They heard Jason plodding up the stairs and broke apart. Jason tiptoed towards the office door not wanting to interrupt what he knew was going on... kissing!

"Auntie Serena..." he stayed on the landing. "Yes Jason...?"

Serena said it was ok if he came into the office, Jason wanted to know what time they wanted tea, he was cooking tonight and wanted to start as he was getting hungry. Bernie flashed Serena a grin... "What are we having... Jason?" She was very interested to know what they would be eating as Jason had a very limited selection of things he was comfortable cooking but Serena wanted to encourage him to try.

"I am doing sausages and chips" Jason mentioned proudly. Serena gave Bernie a 'sorry smile'. Bernie shrugged her shoulders... "Would you like me to help you...?" Jason agreed that yes he would like her to help and Serena gave her another smile this time a beautiful grateful smile.

Jason headed down to the kitchen and Serena pulled Bernie into another kiss. "Thank you... you are so good with him". Bernie smiled at her... "Well... I want to impress a certain someone so why wouldn't I be...?" and with that she gave Serena a wink and headed downstairs to help Jason make tea.


	42. Christmas Eve

Bernie heard a knock on the bedroom door... "Auntie Serena and Bernie...?" Bernie carefully moved Serena off her trying not to wake her and grabbed a cardigan off the chair. She opened the door cautiously... she knew it was Jason but wasn't sure what he wanted. "Bernie... It's Christmas Eve!!..." Jason was standing there dressed with his coat, scarf and hat on ready to head out to Celia's. Bernie smiled at him, she thought it was early but Jason informed her it was after 10am!

"I'm sorry did I wake you?" Jason was looking a bit sheepish, "I just wanted to say that I am going out now to give Celia her Christmas present and I wanted to know if you needed anything getting so you didn't need to go to shops". Bernie looked at him gratefully... "That's kind of you Jason, I think we are ok thank you and no you didn't wake me but Serena is still asleep so I will tell her when she wakes up where you are. I will be at my flat for a bit later... I won't be here until this evening... You know Serena is taking Elinor out for dinner."

Jason nodded... "Yes I know, she is going to tell her about your relationship" he leant his head slightly on Bernie's shoulder. "Are you coming here for tea though, it's Christmas Eve". Bernie thought she had better stay out of the way until the coast was clear later on this evening when Serena and Elinor had got back from their meal so she told Jason she would probably stay at her flat until later this evening.

Jason looked disappointed and Bernie noticed this suddenly asking him if he would like to come to her flat for a takeaway later. Jason beamed and nodded very enthusiastically. "Thank you Bernie, I would like that". Bernie gave him some money and wrote down her address so he could get a taxi later. She explained that she didn't want to have to explain picking him up to Serena who would be anxious about Elinor arriving and who would then be there at the house from then on.

Jason thanked her again and headed out... "See you later!" he was smiling and Bernie felt pleased that she had thought quickly enough for once to offer to spend time with him later.

She went back into the bedroom wrapping the cardigan round her to keep warm, it was chilly, it was Serena's and Bernie could smell Serena's perfume on it. She didn't want to take it off and crawled back under the sheets where Serena suddenly turned over to face her, her eyes were opening slowly... "Did I hear Jason?" Bernie cuddled up close to her and said that yes it had been Jason and he was going out now to Celia's. Serena kissed Bernie gently and opened her eyes fully now noticing that Bernie had her cardigan on, she snuggled up to her and put her head on her chest still slowly waking up.

"How are you feeling about... Elinor arriving this afternoon?" Bernie was stroking Serena's hair and putting light kisses on it. Serena looked up at her, she looked nervous.. "I'm... well... yes... very apprehensive". Bernie stroked gently down her back and whispered that she loved her and everything would be fine. Serena was grateful for Bernie's reassurance and got up to make them some breakfast in bed. They had decided everything was more or less done for Christmas and wanted to spend a lazy morning together before later when they would be apart.

Bernie stirred, she must have dozed off, Serena was putting a tray on her lap with pancakes and coffee on... "Jason was very excited that it is Christmas Eve..." Bernie was smiling at Serena and thanked her for the breakfast she had made for her. Serena nodded and was smiling too. "Jason is coming to mine for something to eat later so he will be out of the way for you to spend some time with Elinor." Bernie put her hand on Serena's arm and looked at her intensely. "That's really thoughtful of you... thank you" Serena hadn't thought about Jason being around, she just knew Bernie was keeping out of the way until later tonight. Yes it would be much better if Jason wasn't there, who knew what he might come out with!

Bernie pulled out an envelope for Serena while they were laying finishing off breakfast... "I haven't given you your Christmas card yet..." Bernie pulled her into a kiss and left the card in front of Serena on her lap. Serena smiled and went to the drawer... she had Bernie's too. They both opened them shyly and both smiled at each other at the same moment. Serena had got Bernie a card with 'To My Partner' on and Bernie had chosen a 'To The One I Love card which made Serena well up. Bernie stroked her hand lightly... "I know I don't find the word love easy... Serena... I think it was the way I was brought up... but you need to know how much I do love you". Serena snuggled up to her and was stroking her face looking into her eyes... "I love you... so much too... you have changed my life... you know". Bernie was welling up now and nodded "Same...."

They both stayed in each others arms content for another fifteen minutes or so before they realised they had better make a move and actually get up. Serena had tidying to finish before Elinor arrived and Bernie wanted to get ready and leave Serena to it, she would be back later but she knew it was important for Serena to have some time to herself before her daughter arrived.

Bernie headed to her flat around 2pm... she had meant to leave earlier but it was really difficult to leave Serena. Serena seemed anxious and was needing extra cuddles today which of course Bernie happily provided as and when they were needed!

When she got in to the flat she put the heating on and unpacked some bits she had making sure she had everything she needed for Christmas Day... gifts, clothes and that her laundry was done. She had sent Jason a text saying he could come round anytime after 6pm and Jason had text her back with a smiley face.

It was 3.55pm and Serena was pacing downstairs... Elinor would be here any minute. She poured herself a glass of wine to calm her nerves... it was Christmas Eve after all.

Jason was in his room, he had said that he would keep out of the way until he was going to Bernie's later. Serena had given him strict instructions not to mention Bernie yet... she wanted to explain properly to Elinor. Jason had understood and reassured her that he wouldn't say anything. He told Serena that Bernie had given him money to get a taxi to her flat later and Serena's heart melted, she thought Bernie was actually perfect... well to her anyway. Not only had she thought that it wouldn't be a great idea to come and pick him up as that may be awkward... she had thought to give him some money for a taxi. Jason used the same taxi company and knew the drivers now so he was happy to do that to be more independent sometimes.

Jason grabbed a drink from the kitchen and put his hand on Serena's shoulder... "Good luck Auntie Serena..." before he headed upstairs, Serena smiled... yes she would need luck.

Elinor arrived at 4.30pm and Serena opened the door giving her a warm hug. She had quite a few bags of luggage with her and Serena wondered how long she was stopping for. She had time off Uni for Christmas but was also spending some time at Edward's. "How are you Ellie?" Serena helped her with her bags and they went into the lounge. Elinor said she was ok but tired after the train journey. Serena asked her if she wanted a drink and anything to eat and Elinor fancied a glass of wine... she noticed Serena drinking a glass of red wine and she fancied some Christmas cake or chocolate log. Serena nodded and went to get the things from the kitchen while Elinor lay down on the sofa making herself comfortable. Serena came back through with a tray of drinks and cakes and they settled into chatting.

"So... what do you have to tell me... mum? I know there is something... you have been vague on the phone so I think you wanted to wait until you saw me...?" Elinor was looking at Serena with a serious face. "Your not... ill are you?" Serena shook her head "No.... it's not that at all". She had another sip of wine and mentioned she had booked a table to go out for dinner tonight. Elinor nodded realising that her mum was changing the subject and looked really nervous.

"What is it mum....?" Elinor had now moved onto the bigger sofa that Serena was sitting on... the one she usually cuddled up with Bernie on. "Ok... I have some news... and i'm not sure how you are going to take it but I want you to know how happy I am...". Serena was nodding as she said the words looking at Elinor's face.

Elionr nodded and waited for her mum to continue... Serena waited some more... all words seemed to have disappeared from her head and Elinor was there looking at her waiting for her to say something...

"Do you have a new boyfriend.... mum?" Serena looked at her and didn't know what to say or do. Suddenly she felt brave... "No... I don't have a new boyfriend but I am in a new... relationship". Elinor seemed to have forgotten that she had said on the phone a week or two ago that she wanted her to meet Bernie at Christmas.... Elinor looked at Serena and looked puzzled...

"So... you don't have a new boyfriend.... but you are in a relationship?" "Yes...." Serena nodded feeling braver ... "Her name is Bernie and we work together at Holby... on AAU actually." There.... it was out there... she had done it....

Elinor looked very confused and quite shocked... "Mum... are you saying you are in a 'relationship' with a woman?" Serena nodded and grasped her hands together nervously. "How.... how....long has this been going... on?" Elinor sat back on the sofa and did look utterly shocked.

Serena explained that she had met Bernie when she had come to work at Holby about ten months ago and they had become friends very quickly with them eventually running AAU together. "I think I told you I had a Co-Lead at work a while back..." Serena was looking at Elinor who just looked stunned. "Yes you did... but I thought she was just a colleague or friend at the most... so when did it become ... more than friends??"

Serena explained that it was about three months ago. "So how did that happen... exactly... and why have I not heard about any of it before now?" Elinor was looking at Serena waiting for answers. Her mum wasn't gay... she had been married to her dad and had boyfriends.

"Well... I knew Bernie had... she had... had an affair with a woman in the army" Serena was stuttering now. "Oh... an affair?" "Yes she was married to Marcus for twenty five years but was in the army... away a lot". "We became very close.... Elinor... and I started to... well... like her".

Elinor still looked shocked... "You began to like her... as more than a friend...?" Serena nodded, it was very difficult to explain. She tried though... yes Bernie had kissed her first but she made it quite clear to Elinor that she was in no way pressured to be or do anything. If anything it was Bernie who had pulled back after their first kiss not her and she began to explain what had happened...

"So... how old is Bernie then?" Elinor was curious. "We are the same age... she is a few months older... we are both surgeons and Co-Leads of AAU and we love each other.... it just happened.. and I really am very happy."

Elinor was still sitting there her mouth slightly open... "Well... I don't know what to say mum... really... so you're a lesbian... at 51??". Serena just looked down at her lap and didn't answer. Elinor got up and left to go to the bathroom and Serena sank back on to the sofa... ok well it was out there now and well Elinor just seemed shocked more than anything.

Jason appeared to say hello as Elinor came back into the lounge. "Hello Elinor, how are you?" Elinor just nodded and sat on the other sofa. "How long have you known.... Jason about mum and... what's her name... Bernie?". Jason looked thoughtful and said that he knew a while ago and how happy they both were together. Serena smiled at him gratefully.

"Bernie is so nice Elinor... I am going to her flat for tea tonight... while you two go out... you will meet her later". Elinor suddenly registered that Bernie would be spending Christmas there and looked moody. "So she is staying here tonight and tomorrow". Serena nodded... "I'm sorry you haven't met her before now but she will be here later tonight yes and she is looking forward to meeting you."

Jason went to get his bag and gave Serena a kiss on her cheek... "See you later Auntie Serena... me & Bernie will be back later tonight". Serena nodded and saw him to the door to get into the taxi he had ordered.

She went back into the lounge and Elinor was laying on the sofa, her head on a cushion. "So.... you and Bernie... sleep together..?" Oh god... Serena felt embarrassed now. "Yes we do.." she said trying to sound confident and casual. "And... you like it...?" Serena just looked embarrassed now and didn't feel the need to say any more.

"So do you still want to go out for dinner...?" Serena was unsure now that this was a good idea. "I guess..." Elinor got up from the sofa and headed upstairs to her bedroom which still had some of her things in. Oh god Serena felt she needed another glass of wine. She looked at her mobile and saw a text from Bernie... 'Jason arrived here safely, how is it going? I love you don't forget xx'. Serena smiled at Bernie's words... she wished she could have a cuddle right now.

At 8pm Elinor surfaced from her bedroom and came back downstairs with her coat on. "Are we going then?". Serena nodded and said the taxi was on its way... she definitely needed more alcohol to get through this meal. They were going to the Italian that she had now been to with Bernie twice, she liked it there and it was comforting to Serena to be there.

They were shown to a table on the other side of the restaurant to where Serena usually sat and they ordered some pasta and more wine. Elinor was very short and sharp with her answers... Serena wanted to catch up with her on her news from Uni. Elinor pushed her pasta round her plate and only seemed interested in Serena's newest development to talk about. "So what is Bernie like then...? Why are you attracted to her?" Serena felt a bit uncomfortable but nevertheless explained that they had a strong connection most of all, they got each other and Bernie was a fantastic doctor. "We work so well together and she is a very attractive woman." "What does she look like....?" Elinor was wondering what sort of woman her mum fancied?!"

Serena described Bernie's eyes and hair and well her personality. Elinor could tell her mum was smitten by this woman, it was weird... Serena completely seemed to melt talking about this Bernie. She was interested to see what Bernie was like later...

Bernie and Jason had some Thai food and watched some Christmas film that Jason noticed was on TV. He was happy to spend time with Bernie and understood that Bernie was pottering about a bit as well as packing and sorting clothes out. She could hear the film from whichever room she was in as the flat wasn't huge! She looked at the time and realised that they should perhaps head to Serena's soon...

"I would rather stay here..." Jason seemed quite happy... "I don't really like Elinor". Bernie chuckled and shrugged her shoulders. She had gathered that Elinor could be... what were the words... a bit of a madam? Anyway she encouraged Jason to collect his things together in the next half an hour while she finished packing.

Serena and Elinor headed back to the house and Serena had sent a text to Bernie to let her know that they were back and yes she had told Elinor. Bernie was proud when she read the text... it took guts and Serena had done it.

They arrived at the house about forty five minutes later with bags of Bernie's gifts and her holdall. Serena opened the door and not caring pulled Bernie into a tight hug... "I missed you" she breathed into her hair that was cold from the night air. Bernie held her tightly and kissed the top of her head smiling. She was nervous as hell but was determined to not show Serena she was as that would make things more awkward than they were already going to be!

Jason went straight into the lounge and found Elinor drinking wine and laying on the sofa watching some TV soap. He sat with her to be polite and waited for the meeting between Bernie and Elinor with bated breath. Bernie came through and saw Elinor laying on the sofa. She went over to her and introduced herself... "Elinor... i'm Bernie... it's nice to meet you" she didn't really know what to do. Charlotte had hugged Serena but she didn't think this was going to be the same so she immediately held out her hand to shake Elinor's hand, a bit formal but then again she was quite formal in meeting people for the first time.

Elinor stood up and looked at Bernie, she shook her hand back awkwardly and shrugged her shoulders before sitting back down. Bernie gave Serena a look as if to say 'what now?'. Serena came straight over and held Bernie's hand, she was serious and needed Elinor to know this was real and Bernie was the person she loved. Elinor just sat in silence and Jason to his credit started the conversation rolling again telling Serena what takeaway they had eaten at Bernie's house and how much he liked Bernie's flat.

Bernie tried again with Elinor "Did you have a nice meal?" Elinor shrugged her shoulders and just kind of stared at Bernie. Ok yes this woman was attractive... she noticed her mum just staring at Bernie, she was looking up at her and was holding her hand. This was weird... Jason seemed completely fine with this... relationship... she guessed he had been around it a while now but even so.... even though she wasn't homophobic in the slightest... this was her mother.... sleeping with another woman...

She excused herself to go upstairs for a bit and Serena gave her a look. She didn't really care at this moment... this was going to be a long few days...

Bernie cuddled against Serena and held her tightly... Jason was still in the room but he never minded if they were snuggling against each other... he knew they were in love. "So...." Bernie kissed Serena's hair. Serena looked up at her and nuzzled into Bernie's neck... "So....."


	43. Christmas Day

It was 7am and the alarm had just gone off.... Bernie stirred and turned over to see Serena smiling at her. "Happy Christmas Bernie" she kissed her and snuggled up closer. "Merry Christmas Serena..." Bernie whispered as she kissed Serena's hair and held her tighter. They lay like that for a few moments quietly before knowing they had to get up and start sorting out everyone's breakfasts and of course... the Christmas dinner.

"I wish it was just us..." Serena was still holding onto Bernie tightly not wanting to let her go...

"Serena... in theory yes it would be wonderful just you and me but... we have our children here with us today and Jason... we are lucky... really". "I know... I know..." Serena was leaning on her elbow now, she wanted another kiss before moving as it would not be easy to get any more kisses between now and bed later.

Bernie reached down the side of her bed and put three presents on Serena's lap. "Before... we... you know... get up... I want you to open your gifts... I want it to be... a private moment". Bernie kissed Serena on the shoulder and looked at her intensely. Serena beamed as she looked at the beautifully wrapped presents in front of her... "Did you wrap these?" Bernie chuckled "Of course not... they look too perfect don't they... a woman in the shopping centre did it professionally for me". Serena smiled at her and got out of bed to fetch Bernie's gifts from the top drawer of her dresser.

They both opened their gifts at the same time and laughed realising they had both got each other similar things... perfume, chocolates and...

Bernie's eyebrows raised when she saw what Serena had got for her... lacy black underwear.. "Serena...." Bernie was looking at her in surprise. "Well... I thought you would look particularly... well... gorgeous in those" Bernie laughed... "Well... I don't know about that but I will certainly model them for you... at some point.. maybe not later..." Serena was beaming at her and opened her other gift from Bernie which was a very... silky slip/nightie. "Do you like it..." Bernie was looking at Serena apprehensively. "I had the same sort of idea that I would like to see you... well in that".

Serena smiled... "Well it doesn't leave much to the imagination does it..." Bernie laughed... "Well I happen to think you have a... stunning... figure and it will look... amazing on you". Serena blushed and kissed Bernie softly pulling her tightly to her.

Bernie offered to go down and make breakfast and Serena nodded, she was going to head downstairs too as she needed to start preparing the turkey. They had agreed late last night that Serena would cook the Christmas dinner and Bernie would take care of all the other stuff including breakfast, drinks and entertainment. They both pulled on their robes and walked down the stairs holding hands.

Jason was already in the kitchen and as soon as he saw them both yelled "Merry Christmas!!". Serena laughed out loud and Bernie was a bit taken a back at this time in the morning but Jason was wide awake and eager to open presents. Serena touched his arm and said she would prefer it if they waited until Elinor was up to open gifts. Jason seemed cross but Bernie gave him a brief hug "Merry Christmas Jason... would you like to help me with the breakfast... i'm sure Elinor will be up soon and then we can open gifts". Jason seemed happy with this and Serena gave Bernie a 'thank you' look.

Elinor came downstairs at 8.30am... breakfast was ready and she sat down at the kitchen table still sleepy. "Merry Christmas" Bernie smiled at her and Elinor gave a half smile back. Serena went to give her daughter a hug and Elinor let her but it was brief and Elinor immediately turned back to eat her croissants.

Jason was so happy it made Serena's heart melt. Bernie made some coffee's and they all went into the lounge to open presents. Serena briefly tidied around and put the turkey in the oven before heading into the lounge. Jason was sat with Bernie and Elinor was on the other sofa. Serena started to hand out the presents and Jason was itching to go first. "What time are Cameron and Charlotte coming for dinner...?" he wanted to know what the schedule was as always!

Elinor gave Serena a look as if to say who?? Serena explained they were Bernie's grown up children and they were very nice. Cameron worked at Holby too and Charlotte was a student like Elinor.

Elinor seemed to be extremely sulky... she opened her gifts from Serena and was grateful but seemed as if she would rather be anywhere else but where she was currently. Bernie gave Jason his gifts from herself and Serena and he was delighted... he gave them both a hug and was immediately sorting out his new e-reader. Elinor got up to go to the kitchen and Serena followed her...

"Why are Bernie's children coming for lunch...?" Elinor was exasperated... this Christmas was all different to how things had been before. Serena calmly explained that Bernie wanted to spend time with them today and they were coming round about 11.30am for the day. She said they were both very nice and Elinor would get on fine with them. Elinor got herself a cup of tea and left to go back upstairs.

Serena went back into the lounge and Bernie gave her a hug... "Are you... ok?" Serena nodded and went to do more dinner preparations. Jason was happy to help her while Bernie went upstairs to have a shower and get dressed. She saw Elinor on the landing and Elinor scowled at her. Bernie just smiled politely and headed into Serena's bedroom.

At 11.30am there was a loud knock at the front door and Bernie went to open it... she was downstairs now sorting drinks out while Serena was getting ready upstairs. Elinor was sat in the lounge laying on the sofa on her phone. "Hi mum.... " Cam and Charlotte came into the hall carrying a bag of presents and they looked really happy. "Merry Christmas" Bernie tightly hugged each of them and showed them where to hang their coats. She showed them into the kitchen first where Jason was checking on the roast potatoes in the oven. "Jason.... you know Cameron... and this is my daughter Charlotte" Jason smiled at her... she looked like Bernie he thought and he shook her hand. "I'm Jason... Serena's nephew". "It's lovely to meet you Jason... I have heard a lot about you..." Charlotte smiled at him. Cam started chatting to Jason and asking if he could help in the kitchen. Jason nodded and they started pottering around while Bernie showed Charlotte into the lounge... oh god... how was this going to go??!

"Elinor... this is my daughter Charlotte" Bernie went over to where Elinor was laying playing with her phone. Charlotte said hi and Elinor smiled at her "Hi... I'm Serena's daughter... Merry Christmas". Charlotte sat on the other sofa and Bernie sat down too. Charlotte put the presents that she took out of the bag she had bought under the Christmas tree.

Serena came down the stairs and could hear voices in the kitchen... she went through to find Cam and Jason chopping vegetables and laughing. She smiled at them... "Happy Christmas Cameron" she went over to him and Cam initiated a hug... "Hi Serena... Merry Christmas" she hugged him back pleased that they got on well. "Thanks for helping Jason" he nodded and mentioned that Charlotte was in the lounge. Serena was nervous now... she listened at the door and couldn't hear much going on.

She walked in apprehensively to see Bernie opening a present from Charlotte. She smiled and saw that Charlotte looked quite dressed up... she was sitting by Bernie and immediately got up to go over to Serena... "Merry Christmas" she hugged Serena and thanked her for having her and Cameron at her house today. Serena nodded pleased and looked at Bernie. Bernie was holding up some socks and chocolates from Charlotte..."I'm sorry it's not much mum..." Bernie hugged her... "Your a student.. don't be silly and I love them, thank you."

Cam came through to give his mum his gifts of bath stuff and make up.. "Good choice... Cam" Bernie looked impressed. "Well I had some help from... Charlotte" he grinned. Bernie gave them both her gifts and they were both thrilled... she had gone a bit crazy but she was just so pleased to have them back properly in her life like it should be. "Mum... you shouldn't have..." Charlotte was taken a back with the tablet that Bernie had got for her and Cam was equally surprised with a new smartphone. Elinor rolled her eyes and went upstairs. Serena apologised to Cam and Charlotte... "She isn't too happy about my... relationship with your mum". Cam and Charlotte looked surprised and both nodded in understanding that it was an awkward situation. Jason came through saying the turkey would be ready soon...

Serena headed back into the kitchen and Bernie got some drinks for Cam and Charlotte. "Mum... you have completely spoiled us... you didn't need to..." Cam sat by Bernie and put his head on her shoulder, she rubbed it affectionately and playfully messed with his hair.

Serena worked really hard on the dinner, getting everything as perfect as possible. Bernie came in to see if she could help but Serena just wanted a cuddle... "Don't worry... Elinor has come back down and is in the lounge talking to Cam and Charlotte now" Bernie smiled and Serena pulled her into a kiss. "I love you... "

Christmas dinner went down extremely well with everyone... crackers were pulled... a lot of wine was drunk and Jason thought it was 'brilliant' that he got on so well with Cameron and Charlotte, he sat in between them and found them kind and interesting like Bernie. Elinor was fairly quiet but Serena did see her smile a few times when Cam made a joke or when Jason was being particularly entertaining!

After dinner Jason wanted to watch Doctor Who so he set up his new box set and sat to watch it with Cam and Bernie. Charlotte helped Serena to wash up and they happily chatted getting on very well. Serena thought she had some aspects of Bernie in her, she was funny and seemed very caring. She was interested in Serena as a person and not just as her mum's partner and Serena felt grateful for her kindness, she had after all only met her once before.

Cam came into the kitchen to make some coffee's... "Would you like one ladies..?" Charlotte and Serena both nodded and Serena got out the chocolates she had got to go with them which Cam took into the lounge. "Should I ask Elinor if she would like one... she has gone back upstairs..." Serena shook her head.. "Thank you but i'll go up and ask her... I need to have a word anyway..." He nodded in understanding and held the kitchen door open for Serena.

Serena found her daughter in her bedroom on the bed playing with her phone... "Elinor... please could you make some effort and come back downstairs..." Serena sat on the bed and waited for Elinor's response. "Yep... in a minute..." Serena left her to it and headed back downstairs to find everyone else happily chatting in the lounge, chocolates being passed round.

They finished watching Doctor Who and then Cam suggested playing games for a bit which they did... they played The Chase followed by Catchphrase and Elinor actually seemed to be enjoying herself. Bernie gave Serena a smile and Serena met her gaze smiling back. Bernie went to get some tapas food from the kitchen when it got later in the day... she was in charge of this and had bought masses of bits for everyone to pick at. Everyone sat around drinking and eating... the TV was on and Jason reluctantly let Elinor and Charlotte pick as he had watched Doctor Who for most of the afternoon!

It got to 9pm and Cam suggested to Charlotte that they head to Marcus' house as they were staying there and wanted to have a drink with him. Bernie got up to show them out and hugged both of them tightly "Thank you... so so much for today... I am so proud of you both and it really was so special that you were here" They both nodded shyly and said they would catch up with her in the week, thanking her and hugging Serena as well as she came to the door to see them off too. "Thank you Serena... " she smiled at them and hoped they enjoyed the rest of Christmas.

Jason was on his own now in the lounge and was clearing away empty glasses and rubbish. "Elinor has gone up to her room" Serena nodded and thanked Jason for helping... "I will wash up Auntie Serena...  you and Bernie have worked hard today... you should relax now". Bernie smiled at him "Thank you... Jason". She pulled Serena upstairs slowly and through to the bedroom shutting the door and pushing Serena against it, kissing her passionately... "I have wanted to do that all day..."

Serena moaned in relief.... that they had got through the day and relief that she could now kiss Bernie and touch her. She pushed her body against Bernie and kissed her deeply.. "Thank you..."

"What are you thanking me for..." Bernie pulled away and looked at her puzzled... "For everything... you are all I want.... for the rest of my life... i'm sorry if that is too intense but I need to say it... I am totally in love with you Bernie". Bernie melted into Serena's arms and held her tightly. "Same... sweetheart" she was stroking Serena's face gently staring into her deep brown eyes and pulled her into another intense kiss.


	44. Boxing Day

Serena's alarm went off, she turned over to see that Bernie had already left. She had very kindly agreed to cover AAU today for both of them as she felt Serena needed to sort things out with her daughter before Elinor went to Edward's later today. Serena had agreed while they had been cuddled up together under the sheets late last night relieved to finally be alone and able to be with each other how they wanted to be... always touching... kissing preferably but by each others side.

Bernie had left her a note by the bed... as always... 'Miss you today, I love you, never forget that xx'. Serena smiled and put the note with all the others she was keeping in her bedside drawer. She used the bathroom and went downstairs hoping Elinor would be also be downstairs... she wanted to talk to her while they were on their own.

She found Jason in the lounge eating breakfast and watching some more of his new Doctor Who boxset. "Good Morning Auntie Serena" he smiled at her and she smiled back... "No Elinor...?" he shook his head and asked after Bernie. Serena told him she was working today but that she would be staying tonight so he would see her later. He smiled and went back to watching the TV.

Serena went into the kitchen and made a coffee, she wasn't very hungry but thought she should have something so settled on a fruit yoghurt. She was about to join Jason when Elinor appeared in her pyjamas coming down the stairs. "Good Morning..." Serena gave her a half smile... she was pleased her daughter was here but obviously not impressed with her behaviour yesterday. Frankly Serena had been embarrassed... Cam and Charlotte had been so mature about the whole thing and were a delight to have as company yesterday... Elinor on the other hand had come across as rude, hostile at some points and really immature.

"Hi... mum... can I make some breakfast... please?" Serena nodded and went through to the kitchen with her and sat at the kitchen table drinking her coffee while Elinor got some cereal and tea. They sat together quietly and Elinor mentioned a Uni project she was working on at the moment... "Mum... I could really do with experience filming at the hospital... do you think I could film on your ward for a day? It would look really good for my assignment".

Serena took a deep breath and replied that it should be ok but did she want to talk about yesterday at all? Elinor just kind of shrugged drinking her tea and stayed quiet. Serena sighed and started to talk... "Yesterday... Elinor... I was disappointed that you didn't make more of an effort". Again Elinor shrugged her shoulders and sighed... "Well... I wasn't exactly prepared for your girlfriend and her kids descending on Christmas to be honest."

Serena gave her a look... "Look.. I appreciate it is different for you and has come as a shock but I was hoping you would be grown up about it and well... be happy for me... you can see how much Bernie and I.... care about each other." Elinor scoffed... "Yep... that is evident... you can't take your eyes off each other". Serena smiled to herself but continued to be quite stern with her daughter. "So.... what do you think of Bernie...?" she looked apprehensive for Elinor's answer but wanted to make it clear that she valued her daughter's opinion...

"Ok... she seems nice enough... she obviously thinks the world of you... so i'm glad you have someone who... loves you so much... but it's just the idea of you and a... woman being together like... that... it's a lot to take in". Serena nodded and changed the subject... this was getting uncomfortable... "So do you want to come to Holby with me to see if I can get your project authorised... you could perhaps start tomorrow if I can square it with Henrik".

Elinor nodded and headed upstairs to take a shower. Serena popped into the lounge to tell Jason what they were doing this morning and Jason nodded... he was going to Alan's this afternoon to see him for a bit.

Bernie had a relatively quiet day on AAU even though it was Boxing Day and may have been hectic. She was able to have plenty of biscuits and chocolates that patients had bought for her and Serena over the festive period. Morven was working and Bernie liked her cheery presence... she asked after Bernie's Christmas and Bernie smiled... "Yep... we got through it". Morven smiled... "Cam text me and said he had really enjoyed it at Serena's" Bernie relaxed into a big smile, that was nice she was glad he had said that to Morven. Bernie asked about Morven's Christmas and she said it had been very busy! They both worked together well and got through the various patient cases that needed reviewing.

Serena and Elinor arrived in the car park of Holby. Serena had already text Henrik to ask if she could pop and see him about something, she knew he was back at work today and he had said that was fine, he would be in his office all morning. Elinor trudged along behind Serena, she noticed that her mum had quite a presence in this hospital with many staff and patients stopping her to ask about her Christmas. When they eventually got to Henrik's office Serena knocked on the door and when she heard that it was ok to enter they both went inside.

"Ms Campbell.... how can I help you..? Is this your daughter?" Serena nodded and took a seat showing Elinor that it was ok to sit in the other chair. "Henrik.... how was your Christmas...?" He nodded and told her about his celebrations which he had enjoyed. "So what can I do for you.... both?"

Serena explained that Elinor would like to film around AAU for the day this week, if that was ok with him, for a specific University project. Henrik wanted some more details but couldn't see a problem, he smiled at Elinor and asked if she had had a nice Christmas. She was actually polite now and nodded... "Yes thank you... and thank you allowing the filming... it is important to me and will look really good for my assignment". Henrik nodded and said it was fine but Serena would need to check everything first as well as Elinor checking with patients first that it was ok to film them, any that weren't were not to be filmed at all. She replied that she understood and Serena asked her to wait outside for five minutes.

When the door had closed Serena looked at Henrik... "Thank you very much for that... it's not I guess what you would usually allow and I appreciate it." He nodded and waited for her to continue speaking, she obviously had something else to say... "Henrik... I feel I should tell you something so you don't find out from some one else or think that I have been... unprofessional..." He looked up and gave her a slight smirk... "Yes... Ms Campbell... go ahead". Serena could tell he knew what she was going to say but took a deep breath anyway and tried to relax... "It's about Bernie.... Ms Wolfe..."

"Yes...." Henrik was nodding not looking surprised at all. "Well... I wanted you to know that we are in a .... relationship". He nodded and smiled... "I'm not surprised and i'm glad you have told me". Serena nodded shyly... "It won't affect our work... we will not let it... I want you to know that... " Henrik nodded and said he would be concerned with other staff members but he had no worries with her and Ms Wolfe... "You are both utter professionals and I trust you both to always act in the hospital's best interest. If at any point it gets... difficult to be professional... I would prefer it if you came and talked to me... we could always move Ms Wolfe to say.... Keller... or another department. I know you would not want that but it is an option if either of you find it a problem.... working together". Serena nodded... "Thank you... for being... understanding Henrik."

Before she left... Henrik smiled at her "Ms Wolfe was in here last week and when I mentioned your name, in relation to a work matter, I noticed her face went red and she seemed nervous... I did think she liked you... so I am happy for both of you. Just remember... professional at work please". Serena nodded firmly and smiled... "Yes... of course... thank you for seeing me today". "Pleasure... as always... Ms Campbell" she left the office and saw Elinor playing on her phone.

"So that's sorted you can come in tomorrow" Elinor did thank Serena for talking to Henrik and Serena said she just wanted to pop onto AAU to see Bernie before they headed back home. Elinor rolled her eyes and said she would wait in the cafe.

Bernie was having a five minute break in the office when she saw Serena coming towards her smiling... "Serena.... this is a surprise... what are you doing here... I'm fine here..." Serena shut the door and made sure the blinds were closed. She could see Bernie was on a break as she had a coffee and brownie in front of her on the desk. She pulled Bernie into a kiss and held her tightly. "I came in to see Henrik to ask about Elinor doing some filming here for a project which he has agreed to.... also she took a deep breath... I told him... officially about us." Bernie looked surprised... "Ok.... what did he say...?" she pulled Serena gently so she was now perched on her lap.

"He said.... he wasn't surprised and it was... fine but we do need to be professional. He said he trusted us and if at any point it becomes... difficult we are to talk to him". Bernie nodded grinning... wow Serena had told Henrik... this was huge... she knew they went way back and this was her career... it could have been put at stake telling him about their relationship.

She kissed Serena carefully and gently... "You are.... amazing and... beautiful" Serena was blushing. "As much as I want to stay with you... Elinor is waiting for me in the cafe" Bernie nodded and allowed Serena to get up off her lap. "See you later...." Bernie gave her a gorgeous smile. "I'll cook...." Serena gave her one last kiss on her forehead before disappearing out of the door.

Elinor and Serena headed back to the house in the car. Elinor seemed in better spirits but Serena was more apprehensive around her now. She knew Elinor was staying at Edward's tonight so when they got back she made them a cup of tea and Elinor told her some more about the University assignment she was working on as well as about her friends on the course. She wasn't seeing anyone at the moment but made it clear that one of her male friends was interested in her. "Do you like him....?" Serena tried to be interested even though Elinor hadn't been too kind about her new relationship. "I'm not sure...." Elinor was happy to be single at the moment... she was having far too much fun going out!

Elinor left for Edward's about 5pm and Serena had some time to herself before Bernie came back from work. Jason was eating tea at Alan's but not staying there, he would be back around 8pm she guessed. She went for a lay down on the bed... the past forty eight hours had caught up with her. She set an alarm for 7pm when she would start to cook dinner for Bernie.

At 6.30pm Bernie let herself into Serena's house with the spare key.... she had managed to leave earlier than planned as everything was taken care of and Morven was staying until the night staff took over. She couldn't see any signs of life downstairs... Serena must be upstairs. She knew Elinor would have gone now... she felt relieved, she also knew Jason was out until later at Alan's so they had chance to be alone.

She found Serena asleep on top of the bed covers in her silky robe. Bernie quietly took her own work trousers and top off leaving a t-shirt and pants crawling in beside Serena... she wanted to cuddle up to her so badly and was happy to doze until Serena woke up... she knew she would have set an alarm to cook dinner.

Serena's alarm went off and she suddenly realised she wasn't alone in bed... Bernie was curled round her, their legs entwined and Bernie's arm was round her settled on her stomach. Bernie wasn't fully asleep just dozing... "Hi...." Serena smiled at her, this was the perfect way to wake up after a nap. Bernie kissed her fully awake... "Hi.... Serena", they lay together for a while quietly just content to hold each other. "You know we are alone.... now" Serena was looking at Bernie with an intense desire. Bernie smiled at her... "How are you feeling... did you sort things out more with Elinor?"

"Kind of..." Serena gave her a half smile and continued to say that things were strained but it had helped that she could help with the access of filming on AAU for Elinor's project. Bernie nodded pulling Serena into another kiss, this time it deepened and they both didn't hold back. "You know.... what... " Serena was trailing her finger under Bernie's t-shirt. "What....?" Bernie had her head on Serena's shoulder her fingers reaching under Serena's robe.

"I would really like you to.... model your new Christmas present for me... you know... to see if it... fits..." Serena was grinning. "Oh would you now...." Bernie got up and found the underwear set on the dresser on top of the gift wrapping used for it. She took it into the en suite and Serena reached to put the lamp on... it was getting darker and she wanted to be able to see Bernie properly...

She sat up propping the pillows behind her waiting for Bernie to emerge. After a while... there was still no sign of her... "Are you ok....?" Serena was anxious now... what was going on... maybe Bernie didn't like them.

Bernie's head appeared round the door... "Urr.... they are very nice... just you know a bit... sheer" Serena grinned... "That was the idea.... can I see.... please?" Bernie stepped out of the en suite a little embarrassed but Serena was feeling very flustered... Bernie looked like an underwear model... wow.. totally stunning. Bernie saw her reaction and grinned... "So you like...?"

Serena didn't need to answer... she leant to grab Bernie's hand and pulled the cover back... "Get in here..." she spoke very low and quite commanding... Bloody hell Bernie was taken a back but this side of Serena was such a turn on and who was she to not obey the commands of Serena Campbell.... she let Serena lay her down and Serena pulled the covers over them.... shutting out the rest of the world.


	45. Tuesday (The Evening of the Episode Just Get On With It)

Serena was just sitting down for a ten minute break in the office after just welcoming Jasmine Burrows onto AAU as a team member. She had been impressed with Jasmine, she was keen, thorough and had been skillful in theatre earlier. Serena had also admired her passionate speech to an awkward racist patient they had all had to deal with today. It had taken guts to speak like that in front of the entire ward and Serena could see her heart was in the right place... she would go far under her watchful eye.

She felt tired, the day had been long and stressful with Elinor around the ward filming, Serena couldn't quite relax. She saw Bernie heading towards the office from along the corridor and smiled, she had missed her today. "Here you go....." Bernie put a coffee down on the desk in front of Serena and a pan au chocolate in a small brown bag.

Serena beamed at her... "Thank you... that's very lovely of you... just what I could do with". Bernie gave her shoulder a squeeze and went to sit at her own desk for a minute, she was exhausted too. "How was theatre...?" Bernie had been around on different wards today covering. "Yes... ok... Jasmine was really good today... i've said she can join AAU... an extra pair of hands will be good and she's very.... keen". Bernie nodded in agreement and smiled sipping her own coffee and sitting back in her chair.

"So... do you still want to stay at my flat tonight...? I will cook... you look exhausted..." Bernie wasn't sure if Serena still wanted to do what they had planned after their tiring day. She knew Serena had been anxious with Elinor on the ward as well so had offered to take care of her tonight. Serena had agreed early this morning when they woke up... it would be nice to have some more time to themselves and Jason would be more than fine watching his new boxsets!

"Yes... absolutely... heaven... but you shouldn't cook either tonight... we are both exhausted, let's get Thai... it really is very nice". Serena had moved over to Bernie's desk now and had one arm round her shoulder with Bernie's head resting on her stomach. They were still standing like this when Elinor knocked on the office door... it was halfway open and she could see her mum and Bernie were in some sort of... embrace so she cleared her throat and Serena turned to see her.

"Come in... how is your head now...? Elinor had a fall this afternoon Bernie...." Bernie looked concerned... "How are you feeling?" Elinor just gave a half smile and nodded saying she felt ok and was going to stay to film the evening/night shift to get a full 24 hours view. Serena looked worried... "Are you sure you are ok... to do that...?" Elinor nodded and asked if she could leave her bag in their office. They both agreed and said they would be heading off soon. Elinor was ok with this... "Thanks... i'm staying at dad's tonight and tomorrow but maybe we can catch up on Thursday or Friday?" Serena nodded at her smiling.

Bernie finished off her patient notes and the last ward round she had to do for the day while Serena checked on a few things with Fletch as he was staying on until this evening for overtime. They both met back in the office at the end of their shifts to head to Bernie's.

"What a day...." Serena sighed as they got into Bernie's car, it was really cold and before they set off she cuddled up close to Bernie. Bernie put her arm round her pulling her in tightly. "Are you ok.... Serena?" Serena nodded... "I am now... it's been a bit of a day... I just want to be with you". Bernie bit her bottom lip and nodded.

They stopped off to get their dinner at the Thai restaurant that Bernie loved, Serena also liked it now Bernie had introduced her to it. They did take away and they both waited while it was cooked for them to take to Bernie's. Serena sent a quick text to Jason while they were waiting reminding him they would be at Bernie's tonight and he could call or text if he needed to. She got a reply straight away saying he was fine and was planning to see Celia tomorrow as he still had a few days off work for the Christmas holidays.

They arrived at Bernie's flat and Bernie tried to make it as cosy as possible by lighting candles and putting the heating on full. She poured them both a glass of wine and they ate at the table in Bernie's kitchen area.

"Elinor spoke to me while you were in theatre...." Bernie was speaking softly, tired but remembered that she had wanted to tell Serena. Serena looked up from her plate of food... "What did she say...?" she looked apprehensive. "No... no it was fine... she said she was sorry for how she had behaved over Christmas... and she wanted us to try again..." Bernie smiled... this was progress and she knew it would make Serena happy to know what Elinor had said.

Serena reached for her hand... "That's good... i'm glad she was better with you... i'm just so sorry she has been a pain up until now". Bernie shrugged... "It's really ok... Serena... don't worry." Serena yawned and looked really tired... Bernie took her hand when they had finished eating and sat with Serena on the sofa. She pulled Serena's legs up gently so they were now on the sofa and Serena could lay down.

She picked up a soft wool throw from the other sofa and put it over Serena kissing her on her forehead. She then sat at the end of the sofa with Serena's feet on her lap. She began to rub her feet and Serena snuggled down, her head on the cushion... this was bliss... Bernie was very good at foot rubs and it was exactly what she needed.

Bernie carried on rubbing her feet and they chatted sleepily. "Come on...." Bernie motioned with her eyes to the bedroom... "I think you could do with an early night..." Serena nodded and let Bernie pull her gently up off the sofa. They went through together and Bernie got Serena's pyjamas out of her leather bag in the lounge for her.

Serena was so grateful and let Bernie help to undress her... there was nothing sexual about this tonight... it was pure care and love on Bernie's part, she even used one of her own makeup wipes to wipe Serena's face lovingly while she lay in her sheets.

"I love... you" Bernie whispered into her hair and lay with her head on Serena's chest crawling under the sheets herself... they cuddled tightly and drifted off into sleep together.


	46. Wednesday

Serena woke up in Bernie's bed, she breathed in the fragrance of Bernie's hair as it was next to her face on her pillow. Her arm was round Bernie placed on her stomach and her front pressed against Bernie's back. She remembered Bernie taking such amazing care of her last night when she had felt completely exhausted and smiled to herself pulling herself closer and kissing the back of her neck.

Bernie turned round slowly gazing into Serena's eyes... "Good morning... how did you sleep?" Serena nodded, smiling back... "Well... thank you... and you?" Bernie smiled sleepily nodding... "Yep... ok...are you ok to work today...?" Serena nodded... they were both doing a shorter shift today then full days until after new year as they had both had Christmas off.

"Thank you... for... you know.. looking after me last night...I was just so... tired" Serena was stroking Bernie's stomach and was leaning so that her chin was resting on Bernie's shoulder. Bernie smiled and shrugged... "I will... always... look after you". They cuddled tighter before Bernie let Serena go to get up and use the shower first.

She went through to the kitchen to make some coffee's and heat up croissants in the oven. She looked at her mobile to check the time and saw that she had a text from Dom who was already at work... 'Can you help at all on Keller today? Dom'. She took a sip of coffee and waited to check with Serena when she got out of the shower. She took breakfast into the bedroom and chatted with Serena while she got dressed. Serena thought it would be fine and Bernie sent a text back to Dom confirming it was ok and she would see him shortly.

Serena sat on Bernie's bed eating her breakfast when Bernie came out of the bathroom in just a towel. Serena gave her a flirty look and Bernie laughed... "Urrr... please can you stop looking at me like that... it is very... distracting and we have to get to... work!" Serena chuckled and went back to drinking her coffee.

They both left fifteen minutes later in Bernie's car to head to the hospital, they would miss working with each other today but at least they had something planned for later... they were both due to finish around 3pm and Bernie had suggested going for a walk in a park that was only a ten minute drive away that she liked. It was something she had wanted to do with Serena for a while but they hadn't got round to it. Serena had asked Bernie a while ago to tell her about when she was in the army particularly in Afghanistan but Bernie hadn't felt able to open up yet. Serena had said at the time to let her know when she was ready and Bernie now felt she was... ready to tell Serena about that part of her life. She thought it would be nice if they took a walk in a peaceful place to do it and Serena had agreed that would be nice...

Bernie went straight up to Keller when they arrived at work... she saw Dom immediately by the nurses station looking out for her and he gave her a big grin... "Thanks for helping today... you know I would always rather work with you than anyone else" Bernie was flattered and touched his shoulder briefly, she thought a lot of him and he had helped her a lot in the past by just listening to her and not judging... she could trust him. She helped him on his ward round and they had good banter, enjoying working together.

Serena had a quiet morning, thankfully, with Bernie on Keller... Cam was on the ward helping though and she enjoyed working with him and getting to know him a bit more, they seemed to get on and he was keen to impress her with his medical knowledge when the opportunities presented themselves. She could see glimpses of his mum in him and smiled whenever he said something that reminded her of her partner.

She text Jason on her break to check on him and he replied saying he was ok and taking Celia to the cinema today, he would be home later but wouldn't need any tea. She was pleased he was becoming more and more independent. Celia was a good influence and she encouraged him without being pushy.

Bernie came back down to the office at lunchtime to grab a few minutes with Serena. They caught up while eating a quick sandwich and Cam popped his head round the door to say hi to his mum. Serena told Bernie that she was impressed with his work and Cam blushed a little, it mattered to him what Serena thought of him, he admired her and could see what an excellent doctor and surgeon she was. Bernie looked proud of him and they chatted for a while before Bernie had to head back up to Keller. She made plans to catch up with Cam at the end of the week hopefully and Cam agreed that would be nice, he would see if Charlotte was free too, he thought perhaps they could go for a drink one evening and invited Serena to join them which Bernie thought was lovely of him, he didn't have to do that.

The afternoon went quickly and just before 3pm Bernie appeared again in the office with a cup of tea for Serena which she was very grateful for. She was just finishing off some admin and Bernie waited for her patiently to head off shortly.

They left in Bernie's car and made their way to the park. Serena hadn't been for such a long time, Bernie however seemed to know the route well and Serena wondered how often she had visited this park, she didn't like to ask... she knew Bernie was quite a deep thinker and wondered if she used this place to come and get away from everything... a place to think?

They closed the car doors and Bernie made sure Serena was well wrapped up... "It is chilly... do you have gloves..?" Serena nodded and got a pair out of her handbag. Bernie wrapped a scarf round her own neck and taking a quick look around and noticing they were alone she held Serena's hand and lead the way along a path she obviously knew well towards the lake. It was still light and fairly quiet apart from odd dog walker...

Whenever they saw someone Bernie dropped Serena's hand not wanting her to be embarrassed and they linked their arms instead... this felt more comfortable for both of them.

They walked in silence for a bit... just content in the peace, it was a really beautiful place, Serena had forgotten how nice this park was, she had bought Elinor when she was a child but things had changed quite a bit since then, it had had some money spent on it and it felt nicer... more upmarket.

They reached a bench looking out over a view that Bernie seemed to love and they took a break sitting down. Bernie started to talk... "So.. you wanted to know about my time in the army Serena and well... I think I am ready to talk about it with you... what did you want to know...?"

Serena took her hand and leant her head on Bernie's shoulder... "Whatever you would like to tell me..."

Bernie smiled.. "Ok... well... it was exhilarating... you know being on the frontline... saving people's lives... like at Holby... but... you know... totally different as well... it was frightening too... I had to hold my nerve and watch people I cared about be... injured and much worse..." She looked away a tear falling from her bottom lashes. Serena reached to brush it away from her cheek and squeezed her hand tightly.

"Do you miss it...?" Serena was speaking softly, no one was around except for a family in the distance on the other side of the lake. "Sometimes... not really... Oh I don't know... I guess not... it's age I guess. I just want to be more settled and now I have met... you... I wouldn't want to go back... it was very intense... it was my life for a long time, I didn't know anything else but I am so happy now... with you... and on AAU with our Trauma Unit... it means so much to me." Serena smiled at her, she carefully brushed Bernie's fringe out of her eyes and stroked her cheek.

"I think that's enough for today..." Bernie was shrugging her shoulders now, she was not one to open up her heart easily and she felt she may start crying if she didn't stop talking now, she wasn't sure why... maybe memories... her past life... she was becoming a different person now and she liked this new person she was... Co Lead of AAU with Serena... back to being a mother to Cam and Charlotte and well she was truly happy. Maybe she would speak about it again another time to Serena....

Serena took the hint and they got up from the bench heading around the lake, the long way back to the car, they linked arms and walked quietly. Occasionally Serena would slip her hand into Bernie's and not let go even when someone walked past, she didn't care, she thought Bernie actually cared more about that now than she did, she just wanted Bernie to feel her hand in hers as they walked back to the car, Bernie was obviously quite upset after talking about her past.

They drove in silence to Serena's house with Serena's hand gently placed on Bernie's thigh. "What time will Jason be back.... will he want tea with us?" Bernie was smiling shyly at Serena... she was a little embarrassed at how she had been in the park... she didn't shed tears easily and was slightly uncomfortable doing it in front of another person even Serena who she loved deeply. Serena shook her head and explained that he was eating at Celia's parents house but would be back later.

"Are you hungry...?" Bernie was always thinking of Serena's needs and Serena shrugged... "Not really yet... it's only 5pm..." Bernie stopped the car in front of Serena's house. "Will you...?" and then she stopped talking. Serena put her hand softly on Bernie's cheek... "What is it...?" Bernie kissed her on the lips gently and then more passionately.

"What were you going to say...?" Serena was concerned now. "I just wondered if you would... hold me... you know in bed...?" Serena smiled at her and nodded... "I would... love to do that... you know I would... I just want to make you feel safe... ".

Bernie nodded... "You do... like no one else". Serena was still smiling and took her hand... "Come on then... let me be the one to take care of you tonight... whatever you need..." Bernie suddenly raised her eyebrow and let out a small laugh... "I might hold you to that later..." Serena just squeezed her hand tighter... "Whatever you need darling...."


	47. Thursday

It was fairly quiet for a Thursday morning on AAU even though it was the week between Christmas and New Year where everything is slightly erratic! Serena was on the wards and Bernie in theatre so neither had seen much of each other since they got out of the car in the car park earlier on the frosty December morning.

Morven was helping Serena on the ward round and generally being very helpful, Serena thought a lot of Morven, after all she had gone through with Arthur she felt close to her and respected her work ethic.

Just before she broke off for a lunch break Serena saw Morven come across to where she was standing at the nurses station asking for a word in a quiet whisper. Serena nodded glancing across to check everything was ok for a few minutes from where she could see patient beds and they both headed to the office where Serena shut the door carefully.

"Ms Campbell.... I think you should know that Mr... Johnson in the bed by the window just gave me this to give you..." she passed Serena a post it note where Serena quickly read a phone number...

Serena burst out laughing... "Is this what I think it is...? That man by the window recovering from his operation gave you this to give to me?" Morven nodded smiling adding... "He is pretty... handsome... isn't he..." Serena chuckled... "No... and please don't tell Ms Wolfe... Bernie about this... please could you tell Mr Johnson that it is extremely inappropriate". She left it at that and Morven nodded shutting the office door behind her on the way to tell the patient discreetly about what Serena had said.

Serena thought for a moment... she had barely even spoken to Mr Johnson since he had arrived on AAU.... had she had a conversation? She thought again... ah yes she had said 'Hello... I am Ms Campbell and I am just going to check your heartbeat with my stethoscope'. How was that a turn on? Serena laughed to herself, Bernie had better not find out about this!

Bernie came out of theatre at around 2pm and after she had washed headed to the AAU office to have a sit down and a bit of a break. She thought Serena would have had her lunch already and found the office they shared empty when she entered shutting the door behind her. She pulled a chicken salad out of her bag and settled to eat in in peace... the operation she had just done had been touch and go and she sank into the chair relieved that everything had worked out ok and she could just have a rest for a minute.

She saw Morven through the window speaking to the patient by the window. She was shaking her head and looked deep in conversation. Bernie wondered what it was about but didn't think anymore of it as she bit into an apple and took a sip of her diet coke. She was just putting her feet up on the chair for a couple of minutes when Morven knocked on the door. She came into the office and sat on one of the chairs by the door. "Do you know where Serena is... Bernie?"

Bernie shook her head and shrugged her shoulders... "Is everything ok...? Morven just gave a half smile, she didn't know whether to say anything or not... Serena had said not to so maybe she should keep quiet. "I just need to speak to her about... Mr Johnson..."

"Can I help...?" Bernie was always keen to help out the junior members of staff and wanted them to know they could always ask her if they needed something. Morven shrugged her shoulders... "Serena said not to say..."

"Oh really...." Bernie was intrigued now, they didn't have secrets as far as she was aware! "She might get mad with me if I told you, it isn't anything serious or urgent". "Ok...." Bernie looked down at the rest of her lunch. "Just so you know... Morven... I will be dragging it out of Serena later and I wouldn't let on you had told me...".

Morven took one final look around to see if she could see Serena and when she couldn't nodded and explained that Mr Johnson had given her his phone number to give to Serena. "I see... " Bernie took a quick look over at this Mr Johnson in bed recovering from his operation, she could just about see his face from where she was sat in the office... fairly attractive she would say... mid 40's... average build.

"What did she say....?" Bernie was now perched on the edge of her seat, she felt like her heart was in her mouth.

"She brushed it off of course...she told me to tell him it was inappropriate to pass on his phone number". "Is that all she said..." Bernie wanted the full facts here, it mattered. Morven nodded touching Bernie's arm slightly... "Bernie.... Ms Wolfe... she wasn't interested... at all... please don't worry". Bernie sat back in the chair in relief, this was her worst nightmare... really... some man being interested in Serena... who was ok... attractive.

The afternoon dragged, Serena was finishing the ward round and checking patient notes. Bernie had seemed in a bit of weird mood this afternoon, they had been in the office together for a bit and Bernie had barely spoken blaming the amount of paperwork but Serena guessed something else was bothering her...

"Are you ok....?" Bernie looked up at Serena's words. "Yep... just you know... want to get this finished... I'm thinking of heading to the gym after work if that is ok... feeling a bit unfit and... flabby after Christmas."

Serena burst out laughing... "You certainly don't look... flabby!" Bernie flashed her a smile... "Thanks but it's how I feel, I haven't been in ages... I won't be long... I can come straight to yours afterwards if you would like me to...?" Serena nodded looking puzzled... "Yes of course... you know I want you to stay... why wouldn't I...?"

"Oh I don't know... you may have a... date?" Bernie's eyes flickered out of the office window towards Mr Johnson in the bed by the window. Serena laughed blushing... so she had found out... "How did you know about that then...?"

"Morven..." Bernie was looking at Serena with an intense look. "You're seriously not worried.... are you...?" Serena looked both insulted and cross at the same time. Bernie shook her head but was shrugging her shoulders at the same time it seemed. Serena chuckled again to lighten the atmosphere. "Why would you think I would be interested... Bernie... come on... you know I love you... I want you".

She stood up and went over to Bernie in her chair reaching for her hand and stoking Bernie's hair with her other hand. Bernie looked up at her from under her fringe... "I just... love you... of course other people are going... to be attracted to you... it just hurts... you know". Serena felt her heart melt... Bernie did have a bit of a jealous streak but she felt flattered by it and knew Bernie may be worried that she may be interested in a man again.

"Bernie... Wolfe... you are being frankly ridiculous... I am so attracted to you... I am by no means attracted to anyone else, man or woman or anyone...! I love you... now let's forget about this nonsense and I will see you later at mine". She kissed the top of Bernie's hair before getting back on to the wards, she could see that Fletch needed assistance and was a good opportunity to get out of the difficult conversation that was happening with Bernie.

She knew Bernie would be annoyed... was that the word or was it jealous... or worried? She had no need, she Serena Campbell only had eyes for Bernie Wolfe and it was nice for a change to have Bernie a bit worried... patients were always gazing at Bernie, she had a long line of admirers... men and women who would happily jump into Serena's shoes she guessed at any time!

Serena headed home on her own after her shift had finished... she knew Jason was going to be there with Celia and they had offered to cook tonight... god knows what they would be having but she felt she had to encourage them and she knew Bernie wouldn't care what they had... she was used to a lifetime of tinned and packaged food in the army so frankly she was always grateful for anything home cooked.

Bernie had a quick workout at the gym and felt better mentally for doing it, she decided that she would try and come three times a week after work, she had got out of the habit and it really did make her feel fitter. She headed quickly to her flat to change some clothes over in her bag and check everywhere was ok before showering and getting changed.

Jason greeted Serena when she got in out of the cold... "Auntie Serena... hello" he gave her a brief hug and Celia came to the door of the kitchen to give a small wave. "How are you both...?" Serena went into the lounge to drop her coat and bag on the sofa before heading into the kitchen. She touched Celia gently on the arm and said it was nice to see her. Celia smiled at her and went back to the stove, she was stirring something and Serena looked round to get some idea of what they may be eating tonight.

Before she could ask what they were having there was a knock at the door and guessing it was Bernie, Serena went to open it. Bernie stood there with wine and looking gorgeous in a soft jumper and her newish jacket. "Hi...." she beamed at Serena who was just staring at her.

"Jason and Celia are cooking... I hope that's ok.. come in... it's freezing" Serena pulled Bernie into a hug and thanked her for the wine. "How was your... workout...?" Serena was smirking at her now. "Yep... good thanks... I feel better for going". They both headed into the kitchen and Jason was really pleased to see Bernie, he gave her a huge grin and Celia smiled at her too.

"Smells good... what are we eating...?" Bernie was looking around while finding some wine glasses for her and Serena. Serena braced herself for what she was about to hear... what were they having for tea? Jason described that they were cooking fish fingers, chips and beans. Serena looked at Bernie for her reaction.... "Sounds perfect... I just fancy that..." Bernie was sitting down at the kitchen table and pouring the wine she had bought into two glasses.

"Can I get some drinks for you both...?" she was looking at Jason and Celia now. Serena said that she would get them as she was still standing up and got some cokes from the fridge for them before taking her scarf off and sitting down beside Bernie reaching for her hand under the table. "Thank you..." she whispered. Bernie just gave her a grin understanding what she was being thanked for.

They all ate tea chatting and Jason was filling them in on the film they had watched the previous day, very scary apparently but brilliant. Serena smiled, she was glad that Celia was staying tonight so that Jason would be more occupied. She wanted Bernie to herself... for one, the thought of Bernie working out had got her a bit... well... hot... and bothered earlier and also she wanted to show Bernie just how much she desired her after the whole... patient giving his number to her fiasco. Serena was no more interested in anyone else than flying over the moon but knowing Bernie as she did, she knew her partner would have been a bit shaken by it and apprehensive.

When Jason and Celia left the kitchen after loading the dishwasher they were finally alone. "I want you...." Serena was stroking up Bernie's thigh under the kitchen table. Bernie felt flustered and aware of what Serena was trying to do here... make her feel better after she kind of freaked out a bit earlier. "Serena you don't have to do that... it's my own issue ok... I just... well.. you know"

Serena nodded... "I really do want you... and only you... let me show you... let's go upstairs..." she was kissing Bernie's neck now, gently tugging under the shirt beneath her jumper setting her intentions clear. Bernie grinned... "Ok... just so I know.. did you tell... him you were... taken...?" Serena smiled... "Morven did if you must know... she said I had already found my.... how did she put it... soulmate". Bernie beamed... "What did he say...?" Serena just looked down...

"Go... on what did he say.... Serena...??" He said he was gutted because I was... gorgeous.... apparently...there... you did ask".

Bernie thought she would feel that horrible pang of jealousy but instead she felt like a million dollars.... she...Bernie Wolfe had secured the heart of the gorgeous Serena Campbell... "He has excellent taste" Bernie nodded... "But let's get one thing clear... you are all mine" and she grabbed Serena's hand pulling her up towards the stairs.


	48. Friday

Serena was sat eating her lunch in the office. It had been such a busy morning and she needed ten minutes to herself so had shut the door and closed her eyes, she was getting a headache...

There was a loud knock at the door and before having a chance to answer Jason came barging in to eat his with lunch with her. She sighed, she wasn't going to get any peace now... she did love Jason but she knew he would be chattering away... not coming up for breath.

"Auntie Serena, can I stay at Celia's house tonight?" Serena smiled but did look a bit concerned as Celia had stayed over last night and she thought perhaps this was getting quite serious... this relationship... "Yes of course Jason, you don't have to ask me just let me know your plans so I know where you are... are you sure you want to... are you feeling tired today after being back at work?" Jason said he was feeling fine and he did want to stay at Celia's parents house. He explained that they still weren't sharing a bed but he was allowed to stay in her room.

Serena smiled nodding and explained her plans for the rest of the day so Jason would know where she was. She knew he felt anxious if he wasn't sure he could contact her and she politely told him that she was finishing work earlier today to get her hair cut at the hairdressers. Then she was meeting Bernie, Cameron and Charlotte later. She said that she was meeting them for drinks at Albie's tonight, Bernie was meeting Cam and Charlotte for tea first to spend time with them. Jason nodded and asked if he could see them again soon... he liked them.

Serena nodded and took some painkillers for her headache, Jason noticed and asked her if she was feeling ok... "It's just a headache Jason... i'm fine" Serena was touched at his concern for her. "Shall I go and get Bernie...?" Jason didn't want his aunt to feel poorly. "No... Jason... look i've taken some painkillers... i'm sure it will go in a minute". Jason finished off eating his crisps and got up to go back to work, he looked over his shoulder before shutting the door and smiled at her... her heart melted for her nephew... she was so thankful she had met Jason and got to know him.

As she was finishing her orange juice Bernie came into the office and took one look at Serena and was concerned... "Are you ok...?" Serena just shrugged her shoulders and mentioned she had a slight headache. Bernie came over to her chair and squeezed her shoulders, rubbing her back gently and kissing her on her hair lightly... "Do you want to get off home... everything on the ward is fine and I can take over... we were leaving earlier anyway...".

Serena smiled at her gratefully... perhaps she could go home and lay down before going to the hairdressers later, her hair had grown quite a bit and she wanted a trim. "Perhaps I should go... are you sure..?" Bernie smiled at her... "Of course... and if you don't feel better later then I will just come round tonight after meeting Cam and Charlotte."

Serena very much hoped to feel better by then and leant up to give Bernie a kiss, they knew the door was shut and the blinds were nearly closed so kissed each other for a good few minutes... Serena felt better just from Bernie's kisses... Bernie was just the best kisser she had known... soft, tender but also firm and the desire poured out of the intensity of her kisses. They gently pulled apart and Bernie told Serena to get off home... "Doctor's orders...." she smiled and Serena laughed... "Ok... ok going..." she picked up her bag and got her coat from the stand. She gave Bernie another quick kiss and smiled at her... "See you later...." Bernie nodded and held the door open for her.

Bernie finished off the admin for the day in the office... she was due to meet Cam and Charlotte after work for a pizza, that was the plan anyway.

Serena lay down on the bed when she got home, her hair appointment was another hour and a half away so she felt content to doze for a bit and set her alarm.

She managed to sleep and woke feeling better changing into more casual clothes and headed out to the salon. She had been going there for decades and her hairdresser Karen knew exactly how she liked her hair. She had it washed and a trim catching up on the gossip there and after feeling more relaxed and pampered headed back home to have something to eat.

She knew Bernie was having pizza with Cam and Charlotte and would have something herself at home as she was meeting them later. She thought it was really important that Bernie had time alone with them and she would meet them later even though Cam had kindly invited her along... maybe another time.

Bernie finished work and text Cam and Charlotte to say she was on her way to Pizza Express to meet them in town. She went along to the bathroom and freshened up a bit, at least she hadn't been in theatre so didn't feel too dirty, her work clothes were fairly smart and clean as she had mainly spent the day on the ward.

She left the hospital car park to head into town... the roads were fairly quiet, she thought it would be busier tomorrow evening being New Year's Eve, she was happy to be spending it with Serena even though they would both be at work... that was the deal with the other staff, they had had Christmas weekend off in exchange for working New Year weekend. At least they would be together at midnight which was the most important thing... Bernie wanted to start the next year the minute it started with Serena....

Serena had a quick meal and watched some TV before heading upstairs to have a shower and get ready. She was feeling much better now and was looking forward to having some drinks with Bernie, Cam and Charlotte. She wanted to get to know them better, they seemed really great kids (not technically kids any more though!).

Bernie parked easily outside the restaurant and saw Cam and Charlotte standing outside chatting waiting for her. She greeted them with a brief hug each and they all went inside out of the cold and were seated by the window in a booth. Bernie was over the moon at having a meal with Cam and Charlotte like a normal parent... she couldn't quite believe this was all ok now and she could be part of their everyday lives as a proper mother.

They ordered some drinks and happily chatted about what had been happening with each of them in the week. Charlotte was enjoying the Christmas break from Uni and had been catching up with friends mainly. Cam apart from working, had been to the cinema with Marcus and been out a few times with old school mates.

Bernie smiled happily hearing about their lives and being part of it. Charlotte asked after Serena and Bernie said she wasn't feeling well earlier but would hopefully join them for a quick drink later maybe at Albie's or in town. Charlotte nodded and looked concerned hoping Serena was ok. Bernie checked her phone and there was a text from Serena sent ten minutes ago 'Feeling better, where shall I meet you? xx'.

Bernie typed a text back after discussing with Cam and Charlotte that they would head back to Albie's in Bernie's car after they had finished eating, it would be around 9pm. Serena sent a text straight back... 'Looking forward to it, see you then xx'.

Just after 9pm Serena arrived at Albie's and immediately saw Raf. "Hi.... Serena... you look nice... are you waiting for Bernie?" Serena smiled and nodded explaining that she was meeting Bernie, Cam and Charlotte for a drink. Raf chatted with her for a bit while she waited for them, he was having a drink with Fletch but was happy to wait with her. When he saw Bernie coming through the door though he gave Serena a wink... "Have a nice evening..." she smiled at him... "You too Raf..."

Bernie saw Serena sitting by the bar and beamed, coming over to her and kissing her on the cheek whispering into her hair... "You look gorgeous...". Serena smiled shyly and gave brief hugs to both Cam and Charlotte. They seemed really pleased to see her, she hadn't seen Cam since Christmas Day as their shifts had been different and of course she hadn't seen Charlotte since then either...

They all settled into chatting, with Cam getting the drinks in, Serena thought that was very kind of him. Charlotte asked her if she was feeling better and Serena nodded asking her about her Christmas break.

Bernie was so content with this moment and reached to feel for Serena's hand under the table.... Serena gave her hand a squeeze back and held onto it for a few seconds before releasing it again. Serena explained to Bernie that Jason was staying at Celia's parents house again tonight and she saw Bernie give her a wink when Cam and Charlotte were chatting and wouldn't notice. Serena blushed and looked away smiling...

It was a relaxed, happy evening, at one point Raf and Fletch came to join them and Charlotte was rather taken with Raf... Bernie was chuckling and Raf looked fairly flustered. Charlotte did have a boyfriend she just thought he was very... attractive!

Cam left first to meet one of his mates and Bernie gave him a hug... "I won't see you until next week now so....  Happy New Year Cam..." Cam smiled at her... "You too mum".

Fletch and Raf went to chat with Sacha and Serena asked Charlotte if she was staying for another drink. Charlotte accepted and said her boyfriend would pick her up in an hour, she sent him a text... she wasn't up to them meeting him just yet... "Soon though... maybe..." she smiled shyly at them.

When Charlotte had left, Bernie got up and picked up their coats... "Come on... I want to get you home..." Serena smiled at her... "Ok..." she finished her wine and they got up to leave, giving Raf and Fletch a small wave as they headed out to the car park. They both had separate cars but before they parted to head to Serena's... Bernie pulled Serena closely to her... "Will you... model... your Christmas gift... that I got you for me...?" she was looking at Serena with desire in her eyes and Serena smiled at her... "If you want..." she gave her a wink and shut her car door still grinning at Bernie through the window.

They arrived back at Serena's glad to have the house to themselves.... Bernie sat on the sofa kicking her boots off. Serena had told her to wait down here until she was ready... upstairs. After ten minutes Bernie was becoming impatient and started to slowly walk up the stairs quietly trying not to step on any creaks...

"Bernie... I can hear you..." she could hear Serena call from the en suite. "Are you ready yet...?" Bernie was waiting outside of the bedroom door, she felt she needed 'permission' to enter...

Eventually after another ten minutes she went into the bedroom and sat on the bed... "Serena... are you coming out tonight...?" Serena opened the door of the en suite and leaned against the door... seductively... "So... do you like it...?" Bernie's jaw nearly hit the floor... my god... wow....

"Ummm... Serena... wow... you look..." Serena could see by Bernie's face that she looked.... good. She made her way over to the bed and Bernie grabbed her wrist gently pulling her to her... "My god.... Serena... how am I so lucky...." Serena smiled shyly and before she could say anything Bernie was slipping the thin straps from her shoulders.... down her arms placing kisses where they had been before moving the slip lower...


	49. New Year's Eve

The alarm went off and Serena stirred... it was 11am and Bernie was laying with her head on her chest still fast asleep. Serena turned the alarm off trying not to wake her... not so easy when she had to twist slightly to reach her mobile on the bedside chest. She thought back to late last night... it had been pretty incredible... Bernie had been ultimately aroused by Serena in her new slip that Bernie had bought for her at Christmas and Serena had felt... alluring in it. The way Bernie had looked at her and then frankly... ravished her... pulling it down and using her lips and tongue down her body had been exquisite...

She shivered thinking about it, they felt far more relaxed with each other intimately now and it was only getting better and better...not that it hadn't been incredible the first time but they were more relaxed now and not as shy with each others bodies.

Bernie suddenly woke and smiled up at Serena from under her fringe. "Hi.... you look gorgeous... did you sleep ok?" Serena smiled and nodded back. "Bernie... last night..." Bernie was looking deeply into her eyes now and leant to kiss her neck from her position of laying on Serena's chest. Serena carried on.... "It was... well... I hope you thought so too it was just so... intense and overwhelming" Bernie nodded shyly... last night she had in fact had the most intense orgasm of her life. She had been so turned on and Serena had seemed more confident which was also completely erotic to Bernie. She had kind of let go... Serena was beautiful and she had got lost in the moment...

Serena was looking down at Bernie and was still smiling... "Serena... I... well... yes it was the best.... ever" Serena looked at her and was giving her a questioning look... "What... ever... ever?" Bernie nodded looking down embarrassed but still smiling, she snuggled back into Serena's chest and knew that Serena would be grinning after hearing that.

They both lay there for another fifteen minutes or so just holding each other tightly before they thought they had better move and get up... they were both due at work at 2pm. They were covering from 2pm - 2am tonight and knew it would be manic with New Year accidents and incidents as always.

Bernie pulled Serena up off the bed by her hand and they pottered around in their robes, Serena heading to the shower first while Bernie sorted out her clothes from her bag and went downstairs to make them some coffee.

When they were both ready to leave Serena gently pushed Bernie against the wall in the hall by the door and whispered in her ear... "Last night... me too... I love you" Bernie closed her eyes taking in Serena's words and slipped her hand into Serena's, they fell into an embrace and stayed like that for a minute before locking up the house and heading to the hospital in Serena's car.

Jason had been working today and at 4pm when he finished his shift he went looking for Serena in the office to see her. Serena was busy with a patient but he saw Bernie and wished her a Happy New Year for later which she thought was sweet of him, he was staying with Alan tonight and they were going to watch a film.

Jason stayed for a while having a cup of tea with Bernie and soon Serena was back in the office and made time to sit with Jason for a bit before he went home, Bernie was taking care of the ward for a bit and Serena was able to have a sit down even though she hadn't actually been at work for that long yet... last night had... worn her out... but in a very good way and she felt rather stiff today!

Jason was chatting away to her when she caught the word 'sexuality' and turned to look at him. "Did you hear me Auntie Serena...?" She had to admit that she hadn't quite caught what he had said and Jason looked cross... "I said I have been looking on the internet about sexuality". Oh god... Serena was worried what he was going to say next....

Jason explained that he had been looking at what each of the letters 'LGBT' meant, he wanted to understand more about it. Serena smiled at him with an anxious expression wondering what he was going to come out with...

"Did you know that T stands for Transsexual Auntie Serena...?" Serena nodded but felt a little embarrassed. "Transsexuals want to be the gender they feel they are and sometimes have to have operations" Jason carried on whittering away about what he had learnt and Serena didn't really know what to say.

"Lesbians are only attracted to women so I don't think that is you Auntie Serena..." Serena just continued to look at him, she hadn't really thought about the labels much. It was true that both herself and Bernie had been married to men for a long, long time but she wasn't sure how she would categorise herself now... she would prefer not to, really, although the word 'lesbian' did make her feel a bit... wild... racy...

"I guess it is complicated Jason and well... some people aren't comfortable with labels or people can change... you know... some people fall in love with a person...". Jason nodded... "Yes I agree... I understand more now about it... frankly I think Bernie was always a lesbian...". Serena looked up suddenly at these words, he carried on.. "She was in the army!" Serena chuckled, wait until she told Bernie this later!

Jason finished his snack and after giving Serena a hug and wishing her Happy New Year he left to go to Alan's house, he was going to get a taxi. Serena sat for a few minutes taking in the conversation she had just had with Jason, some of it was funny really and well... she wasn't sure what she was... she was only attracted to Bernie now, no one else so was she a 'lesbian'? She didn't mind what she was... she just loved Bernie.

Late afternoon dragged into the evening and AAU was really busy, most of the other staff had time off and Serena and Bernie were happy to run things between them... they had planned on being alone in the office at midnight with a glass of wine, they would make sure everything would be fine beforehand for ten minutes alone...

They managed to eat together at around 9pm when they were on a break and had ordered a delivery of Chinese food to the ward for themselves and the nurses who were working. Bernie explained to the nurses that she would really like ten minutes alone with Serena at midnight and the nurses were all lovely. Everyone supported their relationship and actually were quite in awe of the two ladies, individually and well... together they were a pretty incredible pair.

Serena ate quietly and sipped a small glass of Shiraz, she wanted to keep a clear head as she was still working but could relax a little for a few minutes. Bernie had thought to bring two plates to work to make it a bit nicer but in the end they were both called to help a patient after a few mouthfuls.

At 11.55pm, the nurses made sure Bernie and Serena could have some private time and Bernie shut them in the office. She poured them some champagne she had bought to work in a chilled cooler she had hidden under the desk and Serena's heart melted... this was actually romantic... even at work.

At midnight they kissed and toasted the next year... together... Bernie took something carefully out of her bag and put it in Serena's hand. "Happy New Year.... Serena" she whispered and Serena looked down to see a beautiful red rose.... just like the one she had presented her with the first morning after she had stayed at Bernie's place. She couldn't speak...

"This is our first.... New Year's Eve together... and well... I hope it is the first of.... many" Bernie was feeling shy and kept her eyes steadily on Serena to see her reaction... Serena was still stunned and just leant in for an intense kiss... "Bernie.... Happy New Year.... I love you so... so much". They fell into a tight embrace.... so thankful to have found each other and to start this next year.... together...


	50. New Year's Day

Bernie and Serena lay cuddled up together in Serena's sheets. They hadn't got in from work until just before 3am and were completely exhausted. They had decided to have a lazy morning before heading to the hospital again for a 2pm start.

Serena's mobile flashed with a text and she reached to read the message... 'Happy New Year mum x' Serena smiled at the text from her daughter and replied wishing her Happy New Year too, she knew Elinor was due to come into the hospital again on Tuesday to finish her project so suggested they have lunch together to catch up on that day... she would make sure she could take a break, Bernie would cover.

Bernie reached for her phone and typed quick texts to both Cam and Charlotte, she hoped they had had a good evening for New Year's Eve, she knew both were heading out with friends. She hoped this year was going to be a good one for both of them and said she would hopefully catch up with them at some point this week.

They both snuggled back under the covers together and Bernie was stroking up and down Serena's bare arms soothingly. Serena nuzzled further into her neck and kissed it gently. "You look tired..." she whispered to Bernie. Bernie nodded and thought Serena also looked pretty exhausted herself. They lay together just holding each other and dozing...

After a while Serena got up and went downstairs to make them some pancakes and coffee. She thought back to midnight when Bernie had given her a red rose and kissed her in the office. Despite feeling tired she felt her heart melting for Bernie... Bernie was actually incredibly romantic... she wasn't used to this before in her previous relationships... not really... when it had happened it felt kind of forced and with the aim of getting something in return but with Bernie... Bernie just loved her.

She put everything on a tray and went back upstairs. Bernie had dozed off and Serena kissed her awake gently, putting the tray on top of the bed for them both to share. Bernie sat up slowly, moving the pillows behind her to support her back and reached for Serena's hand... "Thank you... this looks lovely..." Serena smiled at her and got under the covers on her side of the bed while they ate breakfast together quietly.

"You know...." Bernie started to talk, Serena waited patiently as usual for her to continue, Bernie never seemed to rush her words! "I think I may try to give up... smoking again starting from today... as it is a new year." Serena looked at her and nodded encouragingly... "Ok... great..."

Bernie explained that it wasn't good for her, especially as a doctor and she wanted to be a good role model for Cam and Charlotte. Also, she mentioned that it can't be too pleasant for Serena either! Serena chuckled... "I don't actually mind... but... yes it would be better for you if you didn't".

Bernie grinned at her. She remembered Serena saying after they had properly got together... that the first two times they had kissed.. Serena could faintly taste cigarettes on Bernie's lips and had actually found it sexy... Bernie had laughed at this but she didn't want to keep on smoking... smoking was bad... she certainly didn't want either of her children taking it up (not that they were children... well they would always be her children!)

"What are you going to give up....?!" Bernie was smirking at Serena now and waiting for a response... "Urrr nothing..." Serena just smiled at her "I don't need to give anything up... I guess I want to be more patient.... with Jason.... that would be helpful". Bernie squeezed her shoulder affectionately... "I think you are extremely patient with him". Serena shrugged... "I could do better...". They both leant in to each other for a kiss.

"Can I tell you something...." Bernie was laying back down now under the covers and holding Serena's hand under the sheets... "I heard you have the patience of a saint actually.... Raf said to me last week... about your mother... and what you had to go through". Serena turned suddenly and looked at Bernie, she hadn't mentioned her mother yet in their relationship, it hadn't come up or if the opportunity had arisen to talk about it she hadn't taken it, preferring to keep quiet.

Serena just gave a half smile and snuggled closer to Bernie putting her arm across her stomach and laying her head on Bernie's chest. Bernie kept quiet... if Serena wanted to talk... she would. She started gently stroking Serena's hair and closed her eyes... this was heaven.

"My mother was very difficult..." Serena suddenly started talking quietly and Bernie just lay listening... "Towards the end, her mind was going... sometimes she didn't recognise me and could get very angry...". Bernie just moved her fingers to stroke Serena's back now delicately. "Raf said she... sometimes hurt you..." Serena didn't answer she just held on tighter to Bernie and Bernie didn't push things they just lay in silence.

Serena's mobile flashed and she leant to reach it checking her texts, she had one from Jason...'Hi Auntie Serena, I had a nice time with Alan. Hope work was ok last night, I will be home about 5pm so won't see you, I will be fine, Jason'. Serena typed a quick reply back to him and settled back to her favourite place... her head on Bernie's chest in her arms.

They decided at 12.30pm they better get up and start getting ready for work... neither of them liked to rush and they were both due to start at 2pm. Bernie used the main bathroom shower for a change and Serena pottered about downstairs sorting laundry and some lunch out for them both to take.

They were both ready to leave at 1.40pm and went in Bernie's car. The roads were very quiet so they got to Holby quicker than usual heading straight to AAU wishing their colleagues Happy New Year as they passed them. Most of the staff knew about their relationship now and they were fine with that... they didn't make it obvious but certainly didn't hide it now either.

The rest of the afternoon went quickly and before they knew it were having a quick break at 7pm. Morven was in today and was happy to see them both. She asked Bernie after Cam and Bernie smiled to herself... she could really see the pair of them getting together eventually... they were good for each other, she did understand that for Morven it was perhaps too soon to be getting involved but she did have hope... Cam seemed to really like her.

There was an emergency trauma situation at 9pm and Bernie dashed off to theatre. Serena was looking after the ward and everything seemed to be running smoothly. She had a quick sit down and thought about the coming year... things were looking wonderful... she very much hoped that it would stay that way...


	51. Monday

Serena and Bernie were sleeping in late, both were completely tired after working such a busy New Year weekend. They had both arranged cover to have a day off together so were both tucked up cuddling in Serena's bed still at 11am... Jason was working today so wouldn't be back until after 5pm, they had the rest of the day to themselves...

Bernie opened her eyes slowly and saw Serena smiling at her sleepily... "Good morning..." Bernie smiled shyly. Serena stroked up and down her arms lightly... "Are you hungry...? Shall I make us something to eat...?" Bernie nodded and offered to help her but Serena insisted that she stay under the covers for a bit longer while she went downstairs, she was ready to get up now anyway... they had planned to go to the sales together and stop for some lunch... she was really looking forward to doing something together that wasn't work!

Before she walked down the stairs to the kitchen, she checked her mobile and there was a text from Jason... 'Hi Auntie Serena, are you in tonight? Can I spend some time with you & Bernie? Jason'. Serena's heart melted and she sent him a reply straight back saying of course he could and that they would be back in time for tea, he knew they were going out into town today. She heated up some pastries in the oven and made some coffee before taking it all back upstairs on a tray to have in bed with Bernie...

They lay together lazily eating breakfast and chatting about the day... Bernie was really keen for them to go for some lunch together and suggested Carluccio's as Cam had been recently and said the food was really good. Serena agreed on the condition that it was her treat today as she had felt that the last few times they had eaten out Bernie had insisted on picking up the bill. Bernie reluctantly agreed and she also mentioned she would like to look at the electronic cigarettes in the sales to make the swap... she knew this way she would take it more seriously and be more likely to stop! Serena smiled at her and said that she would like to look for some bits in the sales too.

Serena mentioned when Bernie got up to head to the shower that Jason had said he wanted to spend some time with them both tonight if that was ok with her. She thought it was because he hadn't seen them properly for a few days and she knew that he enjoyed spending time with them, it made him feel more calm and relaxed.

Bernie nodded... "Of course... I thought actually he may like to watch some Game of Thrones... Cam says it is excellent and I think Jason would like to try it... is that ok with you... just one episode?" Serena smiled, it wasn't really her sort of thing but she never minded these days... she was completely content to lay with Bernie on the sofa and just be together... Jason didn't mind them being like this together so it made things easier all round. She was happy just to be with them both relaxing...

Serena pottered around in the kitchen while Bernie got ready and then she had a quick shower and got dressed herself. When she appeared downstairs ready Bernie had found the boxset on Sky for them to watch later and said she would text Jason about it... Serena knew that would make him happy.

Bernie drove them into town and it was pretty busy, they parked and headed to the main street together to see what things were in the sales... they hadn't actually done this together yet... just shopped.

Bernie wanted to go into Tesco to get an electronic cigarette pack as they were on offer. Serena smirked as Bernie paid for it and put it in her bag... "I really want to try stopping Serena... bad habit and I shouldn't have started again last year". Serena just squeezed her hand gently and they wandered along to Waterstones to look at books. Serena wanted to get some new cookery books... she felt she wanted to be more adventurous in the kitchen now she had Bernie.... and Jason to cook for and she picked up a couple of bargains.

Bernie was looking at the military and history books... "Maybe Jason would like these..?" she looked at Serena to see her reaction. "Yes he would... I will get him one" Serena took the one Bernie thought looked the best and put it with the cookery books to buy.

They then wandered into some clothes shops as Serena wanted to have a look. They had very different styles even though they were the same age which they both thought was amusing... they both secretly admired the others dress sense and found it very attractive. Serena bought some new boots in the House of Fraser sale and Bernie got some new trainers in the Nike store before they headed for lunch.

Bernie felt extremely relaxed having a leisurely lunch out with Serena on their day off... this was pure bliss and what she wanted for her future... for their future. They ordered and sipped wine that Bernie had been made sure to order when they arrived as she knew Serena would like some. They chatted about anything and everything... work, Jason, Cameron, Charlotte...

"You know..." Serena looked up from her pasta and gave Bernie an intense stare... "This really is so lovely... being together... just doing normal... things that couples do.. " Bernie nodded smiling enjoying her pasta dish and leaning back in her chair slightly... she felt tired but really happy and content. "Is there anywhere else you would like to go...?" Serena was happy to stay in town for a bit or to head back to the house. Bernie said she would make some tea for them all later so they just stopped at one of the small supermarkets before heading back to Serena's.

They still had some time before Jason was due back so they cuddled up on the sofa... just dozing and kissing softly. Both were tired but extremely happy...

They heard the key in the lock a while later and sat up more on the sofa as they knew Jason had arrived home. He came straight into the lounge and grinned when he saw them. "Hi... Jason..." Serena got up to give him a brief hug and he sat down on the other sofa tired after his working day.

Serena went to make him a cup of tea while Bernie started the cooking. They didn't want much as they had eaten out at lunchtime but she knew Jason would be hungry and well... they could have a smaller portion. She made a chicken stirfry which was easy to do and had gone down well when she had made it previously in Serena's home a few weeks ago and they all sat down at the kitchen table to eat together when it was ready.

Jason made some coffee's after they had eaten and another cup of tea for himself before they settled in the lounge to watch Game of Thrones... Jason was very excited and very pleased that Bernie was going to watch it with him. She had said that Cam had recommended it which Jason thought was 'really cool and brilliant', he looked up to Cam and he also knew that it was something he would like.

Serena's phone flashed with a text from Elinor confirming that she was coming into the hospital tomorrow to finish her assignment work. Serena smiled and replied... hoping they could still have lunch together as they hadn't managed to catch up again last week. She knew Elinor was due back at University soon after the Christmas break and Bernie was more than happy to cover while she took a longer lunch.

Serena thought Game of Thrones was pretty intense and.... violent but she could see Jason loved it, he got very involved with the characters and she smiled at Bernie seeing him get so excited. She mouthed 'thank you' and Bernie just shrugged, smiling, pulling Serena into a cuddle, she knew Jason didn't mind and well... she needed to be closer to Serena, she wanted to take in her gorgeous perfume and feel her in her arms.

Serena snuggled up to Bernie resting her hand lightly under Bernie's casual shirt beneath her jumper. Bernie had her arm gently round Serena's shoulder... their usual positions now... so comforting... comfortable... familiar... yet in a way still new and exciting to both of them.


	52. The Evening of I Do, I Do, I Do Episode

Bernie looked through the glass at Serena who was clutching her mobile phone tightly. She took one more glance and left Serena to it, this was a private conversation between Serena and Edward and even though she wanted to be there to support her partner she knew deep down this was the right moment to step out.

She walked slowly along the corridor in a daze at what had happened today... Morven came out of one of the side rooms and they chatted briefly before Bernie headed to go and check on Jason. She knew that he would be scared and feeling knocked for six, also Serena couldn't give him her full attention as normal so Bernie wanted and needed to be there for him.

She walked slowly over to his bed not sure if he was asleep or just had his eyes closed... "Jason...?" she whispered. He slowly opened his eyes and reached for her hand. She took it even though it made her slightly uncomfortable... this wasn't about her... it was about making Jason feel better and less apprehensive.

He asked after Elinor and also asked how his auntie was. Bernie didn't know what to say... she said that Elinor was very ill and Serena was really upset... what more could she say, she didn't want to frighten him anymore than he would be by what had happened. "How are you feeling....?" she sat down on the chair next to his bed still clutching his hand. He said he felt sore but ok... sleepy but lonely in the side room. Bernie nodded saying that she would pick up some magazines for him from the shop in a bit so he would have something to do when he wasn't asleep.

"You know... Jason, you saved your Auntie Serena's life today... and for that I am extremely grateful... how can I ever thank you..." her voice broke trying not to let tears fall, she had to be strong in here for Jason, he would be scared if she was upset... he counted on her to be strong and to know what to do... she knew that.

He squeezed her hand, his eyes closed... "You don't need to thank me Bernie... we both love Auntie Serena and we need her, it was instinct". Bernie squeezed his hand back and left him to sleep reassuring him that she would be back to check on him in a bit with magazines.

Serena had just finished her phone conversation with Edward and sat looking blankly at her mobile screen after finishing the call. He was on his way to the hospital and she sat feeling numb just holding Elinor's hand. She was aware of Bernie coming back in the room and looked at her... Bernie came straight to her side and held her hand reassuring her that she had been to see Jason and he was doing well. Serena leant her head on Bernie's side, she was still sitting down and Bernie was standing to the side of her.

"Can I get you something to eat or drink...?" Bernie was getting concerned that Serena hadn't had anything for hours now and she needed to keep her strength up. Serena just shook her head slowly and mentioned that Edward was on his way... she handed her mobile to Bernie and Bernie not sure what to do with it just held onto it in her right hand. She pulled a Twix out of her pocket and gave it to Serena for later, she wanted her to have at least something.

"I will leave you to it when Edward arrives and go and be with Jason..." Bernie was speaking softly and Serena just leant into her harder and gripped her hand tighter... "You don't have to leave... don't feel you need to..." Serena stuttered. Bernie thought it was a moment just between Serena and Edward though... Elinor was their child and they needed to say goodbye together.

She stayed by Serena's side until Edward got there and she just nodded to him on the way out of the room... she knew he knew who she was to Serena and felt... awkward.

Edward nodded back to her and as tears started falling down his cheeks he embraced Serena and they held each other for a good few minutes. Bernie left the room quietly and went to the hospital shop to pick up a couple of magazines for Jason. That had felt extremely strange to her... seeing Serena's ex husband embracing Serena in front of her... she didn't feel jealous... how could she... just awkward and well... sad that they had to have this moment... Elinor was not going to make it.

She bought two magazines and some Yorkie mini bites for Jason as well as a large bottle of water for herself... she couldn't remember having a drink all afternoon and was feeling parched. She wished it was whiskey... to numb how she was feeling... what a day... Jesus.. would it ever end...

Jason was awake when she went into his room, he smiled at her and she sat with him while he read and they ended up sharing the chocolates. He had had his meal bought to him by a 'pretty nurse'. Bernie smiled at him and got his mobile out of his bag for him that was out of his reach by the small cabinet. He wanted to send a text to Celia and Bernie helped him word what had happened... it was all a bit of a blur to Jason and Bernie always helped him when he needed it.

She left him to sleep after spending a good hour with him and told him she was going to see how Serena was now... she was beyond exhausted emotionally and didn't know what Serena would want... what does anyone do in this situation... Bernie always practical in a crisis but emotional support... well... was not really her area... she needed to be there for Serena and not do the wrong thing here... she took a deep breath and walked along the corridor to check through the window into where Elinor was...

Edward wasn't in there anymore and Serena was still sitting in the same chair holding Elinor's hand. She felt she should knock lightly this time and Serena looked up at the sound of the tapping and motioned for Bernie to come in. Bernie didn't need to say anything she just went to Serena and held her tightly...

"Edward has gone to get a coffee..." Serena spoke softly but firmly. Bernie just nodded and continued to hold her. "What can... I do...? What do you need?" Bernie was stroking Serena's arms and trying to comfort her in the only way she knew how at this moment in time.

Serena just shook her head... she didn't know what she wanted or needed... just her daughter to be ok which wasn't going to happen... she just felt numb. Bernie was providing love and support which she was grateful for but beyond that... she didn't know...

Edward reappeared and saw Serena with her arms around the Trauma surgeon he knew she was in a relationship with according to Elinor and Liberty. He cleared his throat and went to stand at the other side of the bed to where Serena and Bernie where, he held Elinor's other hand and Bernie went to leave them to it...

"You don't need to leave on my account..." Edward gave her a warm look and shrugged his shoulders... "If Serena wants you to stay... it's fine with me..." Bernie looked at Serena and Serena was nodding squeezing her hand.. "Please stay..." she whispered and Bernie smiled at her... "Of course... I'm not going anywhere..."


	53. Wednesday

Bernie turned over in bed... it was early... she reached to feel where Serena was and found an empty space next to her. She opened her eyes fully and listened to see if she could hear her in the en suite... silence.

She rubbed her eyes and thought back to late last night when they had eventually come back to Serena's for a couple of hours sleep... it was now 6.05am and Bernie didn't know how long Serena had been out of bed for. She had definitely had some sleep, no matter how little, as Bernie had held her in the early hours until her breath steadied and her body became heavy... Bernie had just lay in the dark, her mind going over what had happened and what they were supposed to do now...

She got out of bed, found Serena's navy robe that she often wore and pulled it round her tightly. She glanced round upstairs in the other rooms... no sign of Serena. She plodded downstairs quite anxiously... looked in the lounge and then the kitchen... she couldn't find Serena. Suddenly she saw a movement outside from through the kitchen window and saw Serena sitting down outside on one of the garden chairs on the patio, she didn't have a dressing gown on just her pale green pyjamas.

Bernie thought she must be frozen but held back for a second just watching Serena out of view from the side of the window... she needed a moment here to think about how to be around her and be there for her given the circumstances...

She made two cups of coffee and took some deep breaths before opening the patio door to the garden and putting the coffee's down carefully on the table. Serena suddenly looked up... her face stained with tears and her face looked pale. Bernie squeezed her shoulder gently and just sat beside her on one of the other chairs... they sat like this for what seemed like a long time... no words were said or needed.

Serena did actually drink the coffee... Bernie didn't like to ask if she was cold... she just sat quietly with Serena looking around the garden... it really was lovely... peaceful and calming in what was a nightmare of a situation.

After a while Bernie reached for Serena's hand and Serena took it, their fingers fitted and entwined together perfectly and Bernie watched various birds come and go settling on the fence or on tree branches near to them.

"Would you like something to eat... I can make.. whatever you feel like?" Bernie spoke quietly without any pressure. Serena shook her head and just sat staring at the table... her eyes closed and her head pounding. It had been such a draining day yesterday... such a shock and completely devastating. Every muscle in her body hurt... her heart hurt... she couldn't think of anything clearly... everything was a blur.

She was suddenly aware of Bernie coming back outside... not that she realised she had disappeared for a few minutes... Bernie was putting a blanket round her shoulders and had made her another hot cup of coffee. Serena offered her a token of a smile and thanked her.

"I've called work..." Bernie explained to Serena that she had arranged cover for the next few days so she could be there for her. Serena just nodded not really taking in the words. She was feeling completely awful for coming away from the hospital for a couple of hours sleep... she had received a text just over an hour ago from Edward saying Elinor had... gone. She had woken up to the sound of the text and had been sitting outside ever since...

Bernie was still sitting beside her and holding her hand... "I think I should go and see Jason in a while... just for a little bit..." Bernie was worried about saying these words to Serena as she didn't want to leave her but she was torn... Jason needed someone preferably Serena but she wasn't up to seeing him and other than Alan and Celia it was up to her and she knew that he might want to see her if Serena couldn't go. She pulled out her mobile from the pocket of the robe and sent Jason a text. Serena was sitting with her eyes closed, tears rolling down her cheeks...

Bernie stood up and wrapped her arms around her... she had no words but a cuddle might offer a slight comfort for the pain Serena was feeling...

Serena suddenly spoke and Bernie looked at her... "I need to meet Edward... need to sort out getting the death certificate..." Bernie just held her tighter and nodded... "I'm here... whatever you need..." Serena sobbed quietly and Bernie just held her tightly... "Will you come inside for a bit... Serena.. you are getting really... cold" Bernie looked at her with such concern in her eyes that Serena didn't want to worry her and allowed herself to be helped up by Bernie and guided back inside where she found the sofa in the lounge and collapsed burying her face in the cushion that was propped by the arm. Bernie sat with her quietly and rubbed her back in a comforting way.

"I can give you a lift to meet Edward... on the way to see Jason then I can pick you up when you are ready...?" Bernie touched Serena gently on her leg and stroked her hair. Serena nodded gratefully and made her way upstairs very slowly...

Bernie sat back on the sofa her head swirling with thoughts and feelings... god this was completely awful... how was Serena going to get through this... she knew she was strong but the loss of a child... god... these things break a person...

She let Serena use the bathroom in peace and pottered around in the kitchen for a while, sorting some laundry and making some pancakes. She took some on a plate up to Serena to leave in case she wanted one... she thought if they were on the side... Serena may have one. She was right... Serena did eat a pancake when it was in front of her and she had taken a quick shower pulling on some jeans and Bernie's grey hoodie. Bernie smiled at her... "You know that one is mine don't you... it's ok". Serena wanted to wear it, it felt comforting and she could smell Bernie's perfume faintly on it.

She waited for Bernie to have a quick shower and watched her get dressed, she was laying back on the bed and resting her eyes. Bernie thought she looked awful and said again that she would drop Serena off and come back to get her whenever she was ready. Serena held her arms out to Bernie for a cuddle and Bernie pulled her in closely, stroking her hair and then her face lovingly...

They left in Bernie's car... Bernie thought Serena would freeze in just her hoodie so had persuaded Serena to put on a jacket over the top and Bernie wrapped her own newish scarf round Serena's neck... Serena squeezed her hand... "Thank you..." she barely whispered.

Bernie went to where Jason was in the side room still... Alan had been to visit him this morning and he was looking brighter. He was sat up in bed reading one of the magazines she had got for him yesterday, He smiled when she walked over to his bed... "Thank you for coming Bernie" she nodded and gave him an awkward brief hug. She updated him on what had happened with Elinor and he was very concerned about Serena. Bernie just said that she was looking after her and he had to focus on getting better himself.

He wanted to see Serena and Bernie nodded that she understood that he did but Serena wasn't up to it today... she squeezed his arm gently... "I'm sure she will come and see you very soon Jason". He nodded quietly and lay back down under the sheets. Celia was coming to see him tonight and Bernie chatted with him for a bit leaving him his e-reader to keep him occupied. She also left him two drinks and a packet of his favourite biscuits.

She got a text from Serena to say that she wanted picking up and wanted to go back home.... Bernie explained that she needed to go and get Serena now and Jason nodded... "Will you come and see me tomorrow...?" Bernie nodded and smiled at him... "Of course... make sure you rest now Jason" and with that she shut the door quietly and walked back to the car park feeling exhausted.

Bernie picked Serena up outside the funeral directors... she looked broken and completely awful. Bernie pulled up slowly... where was Edward?

Serena got in and buried her face in Bernie's shoulder. Bernie put her arm around her and they sat like that for a good few minutes quietly before Bernie asked where Edward was... "He went about ten minutes ago" Serena whispered... her face still in Bernie's coat.

Bernie couldn't believe he had left her there on the pavement waiting in the cold... she pulled Serena in tighter... "Let's get you home... I love you so much".


	54. Thursday

Bernie woke up with a start... she suddenly remembered what had happened... it wasn't a nightmare... this was real life... Serena's life... her life... their life.

She looked immediately over to see Serena fast asleep on the other side of the bed tangled up in the sheets, her cheeks looked extremely pale and she was still wearing her grey hoodie... Bernie hoped it was providing some small amount of comfort.

She lay there just watching Serena and studying her face... her beautiful dark eyelashes looked damp from tears and her lips looked like they had been bitten rather than the usual soft sensuous lips she loved to kiss.

She thought ahead to the rest of the day... she really needed to persuade Serena to let people know what had happened to Elinor, most of the family didn't know and also her friends would want to know. Bernie knew she had to tread very carefully and not push Serena... there was a careful balance between gently encouraging and letting Serena come to her own decisions... Bernie knew this was going to be tough.

Serena opened her eyes slowly and looked over at Bernie who was laying on her back and staring at the ceiling. She moved closer and cuddled up to her, wrapping her arm around Bernie's stomach and laying her head on her chest. Bernie held her tightly and they just lay quietly.

"I would like to go and see Jason today..." Serena suddenly spoke softly but it was slightly muffled as her face was now buried in Bernie's shoulder. Bernie held her tighter... "Are you sure...? I was going to go anyway and take him some more bits in..." Serena squeezed Bernie's hand and nodded... "Yes... thank you but I think he would like to see me too... you know... after what has happened..."

"I'm sure he would... but... only if you're sure... how about I take you.. and we can go in the back way so you don't have to face... our colleagues just yet" Bernie was trying to think of what might be best and Serena was very grateful, she nodded and just held on tighter.

"Can I make you something to eat...?" Bernie was looking at her, her face showing such concern that Serena's heart hurt even more. "Yes... please... I think I should eat something... you know to feel a bit stronger... what with going to see... Jason". Bernie nodded and she said she would go down to the kitchen and heat up some pastries in the oven to bring back upstairs.

Serena used the shower and let the water drench her, she made it hotter and hotter to try and feel something... she just felt numb. She did feel fresher after the shower and pulled the same jeans on as yesterday. She was tempted to put Bernie's hoodie back on but thought again... she needed something clean to wear but what.... she stood looking in her closet just in her bra and jeans when Bernie came into the bedroom with a tray of pastries and two mugs of coffee. She set it down on the bedside next to her side of the bed and looked at Serena working out what she was doing...

"I don't know what to wear..." Serena was just gazing into the closet and Bernie went and stood behind her wrapping her arms gently round her. Serena held onto her and Bernie just let Serena think before suggesting a jumper or cardigan... she could see a couple of Serena's favourites neatly folded on one of the shelves inside. Serena shook her head and was still standing there... "Do you have a jumper with you I could wear...?"

Bernie went to her bag immediately and fetched out a choice of two she had on her for Serena to choose from. Serena opted for the navy wool jumper which was way too long for her but still she felt better. "Do... you... mind?" Serena was looking in Bernie's eyes... she realised this was a bit strange... it just felt comforting.

"Of course I don't mind..." Bernie kissed her on top of her head and sat on the bed to eat breakfast. She didn't push Serena to eat or drink but gently encouraged her to have a pastry and some sips of coffee which Serena did.

"Is Edward... contacting the family...?" Bernie was anxious about bringing this up but she knew it needed thinking about. She knew Serena and Edward were going back to the funeral directors tomorrow to sort out the funeral but today she knew people needed telling about what had happened so she was focusing on that as well as going to visit Jason and making sure Serena was ok... well taking care of her as best she could.

Serena shrugged her shoulders and lay back down on the bed slightly playing with the sleeves on Bernie's jumper she was wearing. Bernie just moved to hold her and offered to contact Edward for her. "I don't want to intrude... but I could ring Edward for you and see what he wants to do regarding telling people...?" Serena just sort of shrugged again and closed her eyes.

Bernie asked for her mobile and Serena passed it to her without hesitation... "Thank you..." she whispered. Bernie said that she would go downstairs and call Edward and then take Serena to the hospital to see Jason. "Do you want to sort out any bits for him... or would you like me to do it..?"

Serena said she would pack a bag for him and before Bernie turned to get up off the bed Serena grabbed her hand and squeezed it... "Thank you... darling" Bernie's heart melted and she just nodded kissing Serena's hand lightly and leaving to go downstairs with Serena's phone...

She went straight into the kitchen and shut the door carefully behind her... oh god...this was beyond awkward but she kicked into her professional mode and thought of Serena and what would help her. She scrolled down Serena's contacts list and when she found Edward's name she took a deep breath and pressed the call icon...

After four rings Edward answered... "Serena...?" "Hello Edward... it's Bernie... Serena's... partner..." she took another deep breath. "Serena has asked me to call you to see what you want to do about telling the family... about Elinor... she was too upset this morning to call you which is why I am..." she took another breath and waited for Edward to respond...

"Thank you for calling..." Edward sounded fine with her, "I am happy to tell relatives if Serena is ok with that...?" Bernie told him that she was fine with that and that perhaps Serena or herself would contact Elinor's friends. Edward agreed this was ok and there was a pause in the conversation..."How are you doing... Edward...?" Bernie knew he had just lost his daughter and wanted to show concern even though she didn't particularly like him. Then again she didn't know him just what she had heard from Serena which frankly wasn't all that great.

He said that it was a very difficult time and Liberty was devastated too. He said that he would see Serena tomorrow as planned and mentioned that Bernie was welcome to be there if Serena wanted her to be. Bernie thought this was actually nice of him... he didn't have to say that... she said thank you and that she would see what Serena wanted tomorrow... "She is very fragile at the moment..." Bernie added before they said goodbye to each other and Bernie hung up.

She took an apple from the kitchen and went back upstairs to fill Serena in on the conversation... she found her in Jason's room packing some clothes for him, folding them up neatly and adding some more magazines and books to the bag... she knew Jason would get bored easily just sitting in bed.

Bernie went over to her and touched her arm, telling her what she had discussed with Edward... "You are amazing for doing that for me..." Serena nuzzled into Bernie's neck and reached to find her hand. Bernie pulled her in close and they stayed that way for a minute or two...

When Serena felt ready to leave the house, Bernie drove them to the hospital and parked round the back. She knew they could get in a different way... Serena was not up to seeing anyone and Bernie knew they could just go straight to see Jason from here quietly. They both walked slowly along the corridor and Bernie looked through the small window in the door to see Jason sitting up in bed reading on his e-reader. She knocked lightly and went in through the door...

"Bernie..." he looked up and smiled... "and Auntie Serena..." his face lit up and he reached his arms out to her from the bed. Serena gave him a smile and went straight over to him giving him a hug... "How are you... Jason...?" she held him close to her and he held onto her tightly. "I'm doing ok... how are you?" he pulled away from the hug and looked up at her face.

"I'm.... you know...." Serena couldn't finish her sentence, it was too difficult. Bernie jumped in here and said it was a very difficult time and they were there for each other. She went to give Jason a brief hug when Serena sat down and gave him his bag of clean clothes. "There are some of your magazines and books in there..." Bernie smiled at him.

Jason thanked them both and chatted away quietly. Serena sat staring out of the window and Bernie just tried to keep Jason engaged in conversation so he wouldn't be too distressed when he realised how Serena really was. She knew Jason relied on Serena's strength a lot of the time and consistency. She knew she would need to step in and be those things for the time being... for both of them.

After half an hour Serena whispered to Bernie that she wanted to go now... Bernie nodded and explained to Jason that they had things to do but she would come back tomorrow and she knew that Alan was visiting him tonight as she had seen the text on Serena's phone just before she had called Edward. Jason reached out for Serena and gripped her hand tightly... "I miss you". Serena tried not to cry and nodded... "See you soon... just rest and get better ok..." Jason nodded and Bernie squeezed his shoulder to reassure him. "I will see you tomorrow... Jason... you take care..." they both left pulling the door behind them.

When they got to Bernie's car, Serena had tears falling down her cheeks. Bernie thought she had actually been brave in front of Jason and that she could let it out now... she reached for her hand and held it tightly. "Serena.... I need to get some food in for us... shall I drop you home first..?" Serena shook her head, she didn't want to be alone at the moment. Bernie understood and said they would be quick and Serena could wait in the car at the supermarket if she wanted to.

They parked at Sainsburys and Serena said she would come in with her. Bernie wasn't sure but just nodded and let Serena get a trolley and lean on it. They walked around the aisles, Bernie picking up ingredients to make a lasagne for tea and some other bits and pieces before she paid at the till and they got back to the car. "Right... let's get you home..." Bernie was trying to be as gentle and caring with Serena as possible.

They got back and Serena went straight into the lounge while Bernie got the shopping out of the car and took the bags into the kitchen, she put the kettle on and made some tea.

When she came back into the lounge with the two mugs and some biscuits. Serena was laying on the sofa with her eyes closed... "Serena... i've made you some tea..." she put the mugs down on the table and opened the packet of biscuits for them to share.

Serena thanked her and got her mobile out of her bag... "I don't know how to tell her... friends..." Serena was looking at Bernie and gestured for her to sit next to her. Bernie plonked herself down and put her hand gently on Serena's leg. "Do you feel up to calling... them... or do you want to send a text... what do you think?"

Serena said she would call her main friends and then send a text to the others. "Do you want some peace...?" Bernie motioned towards the door with her eyes. Serena shrugged her shoulders and Bernie knew that she should really leave Serena for a bit to do this. "I'll just be... upstairs... if you need me" she squeezed Serena's hand and made her way up the stairs... god she was exhausted... a rest was definitely needed.

She must have dozed off as the next thing she knew it was darker and Serena was laying next to her on the bed and stroking her hair. "Hi..... how did the calls go...?"

Serena told her that she had got through to her three main friends and they had each kindly offered to tell her other friends. There were just a couple of others that Serena had sent texts to. She had said that she would be in touch with them again when she knew the funeral details.

Bernie held her tightly... "I'm very proud of you for doing that... it must have been so difficult" Serena nodded and they lay together on the bed just holding each other.

"You get some sleep... I'm going to go and make us the lasagne for tea... we need to eat..." Bernie kissed Serena gently on the lips briefly before turning her face to get up but Serena kissed her back firmly... "Thank you for.... everything... you are amazing" Bernie blushed and shook her head... "Anyone would do the same Serena..."

Serena shook her head... "No.... Bernie... you have been everything and are everything to me... thank you..." Bernie just squeezed her shoulder and got up. "I will wake you when tea is ready... get some rest... ok".

Serena curled up in Bernie's jumper under the sheets... her heart still hurt like crazy and she felt numb but she did have.... Bernie. How did she get so lucky to have found her...?


	55. Friday

Bernie sat up in Serena's bed and yawned... she was really tired out even though she had slept well. The last few days... well... had been a minefield of emotions. She knew Serena was in the bath getting ready to meet Edward at 10.30am at the funeral directors. She checked the time on her phone and realised Serena had been in there really quite a long time...

She knocked lightly on the en suite door... "Serena... are you ok?" there was no sound and she listened carefully putting her ear against the door. She briefly heard the sound of quiet crying and knocked again... "I'll leave you to it... just let me know... if you need anything" she went to turn round and head back to the bed but she heard Serena say... "Bernie.... can you please bring me in a fresh towel...". Bernie went straight to the airing cupboard on the landing and fetched a soft light pink towel and headed back to the en suite... she gently knocked... "Can I come in... I have a towel for you".

Serena agreed and Bernie entered the en suite cautiously. She went to just put the towel on the glass shelf and turned to leave not wanting to embarrass Serena but Serena called her over to the bath. She looked up then and noticed that Serena was laying nearly completely under the bubbles with just her neck and head visible leaning back on the rim of the large white corner bath.

Bernie walked slowly over to her and waited to see what Serena wanted her to do... Serena just reached out a soapy hand to her which Bernie took and kissed. "I will make you some breakfast before you head out... I can take you if you would like me to..?" Serena nodded gratefully and leant her face up for a kiss. Bernie touched her cheeks gently and moved her face towards her kissing her gently.

"I will take you to meet Edward and then go and pick Jason up... he sent me a text to say he can come home today... don't worry though... I can take care of him.. here.. if that's ok with you?". Serena squeezed her hand tightly... "Thank you... yes... I am so grateful for what you are doing to help". Bernie just kissed her again firmly and held out the towel for Serena to get out of the bath... she noticed her skin was going all wrinkly.

She carefully wrapped the towel around Serena hugging her at the same time... "Whatever you need... just ask... ok... promise me" Serena held her tightly back and nodded.

They left about thirty minutes later in Bernie's car and she dropped Serena off to meet Edward. She didn't mention what Edward had said yesterday about being there if Serena wanted her to be... she knew that Serena would ask her if that was what she wanted. She had things to do anyway and told Serena to text her when she was ready to be picked up. Serena kissed her cheek softly and shut the door... Bernie watched her walk into the funeral directors, she was worried about her but she had to pick up Jason and some things from her flat.

When she got to the hospital she went in the back way again, she still didn't feel up to talking to her colleagues. When she entered Jason's room he was sat in the chair all ready and waiting. As soon as he saw Bernie he got up and briefly hugged her... "Hello Bernie, thank you for coming". Bernie smiled at him and nodded... "How are you feeling... Jason?". He said that he was still sore but doing ok, he really wanted to go home. Bernie nodded and helped him finish packing his bag.

"Jason... I have to get some bits from my flat before we go home... I haven't had chance to get there and change some stuff over... you can watch TV for a bit... is that ok?" Jason nodded happily, he understood that Bernie must be so busy with everything going on and he liked her flat... he felt relaxed there.

They walked to Bernie's car and Jason asked after Serena... "How is she?". Bernie replied that she was extremely upset and sad and that she had gone to meet Edward to sort out Elinor's funeral. Jason sat quietly and Bernie said he could ask her any questions that came into his mind at any time. He nodded and thanked her...

They arrived at Bernie's flat and she put the heating on for a bit and Jason settled to watch TV on the sofa while Bernie pottered around doing laundry and getting some clean clothes packed up... she wanted to be there for Serena and Jason at Serena's... she was needed there and that's where she wanted to be.

She got a blanket for Jason and a can of coke... "Are you hungry...?" He thanked her and said he was fine, he had eaten at the hospital before being discharged.

Bernie checked her mobile to see if Serena had contacted her... not yet. She did however, have a text from Charlotte saying that she was so sorry to hear about Elinor and if there was anything she could do to let her know. She said she would call tomorrow as she knew Bernie would be very busy. Bernie replied thanking her for the text and realising that Cam must have told her... the news was doing the rounds at the hospital. Cam had tried to call her last night but she had sent him a text saying she was exhausted and she would ring him back later.

Serena had just finished the meeting at the funeral directors with Edward and they were sitting on some chairs by the door while she sent a text to Bernie. "Didn't you want her to be here today...?" Edward was talking to her while she typed. Serena just looked at him blankly. "When I spoke with Bernie yesterday on the phone... I said she was welcome to be here with you if you wanted her to be" Serena just stared at him and continued typing. "She didn't tell me that..." Serena just sat back on the chair and drank some more of the water that a kind receptionist had got for her.

Edward went to leave saying he would see Serena at the funeral and be in touch in a few days about organising flowers and some music to be played. Serena just shrugged and carried on staring at her phone.

After about ten minutes she saw Bernie's car pull up outside. She had obviously taken Jason home to get him settled before coming to pick her up. "Hi...." Bernie spoke softly as Serena got into the car. Serena reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly... "You didn't say.... Edward said you could come to the meeting". Bernie just shrugged... "It's fine... I thought it was something the two of you should do... together".

"How's Jason...?" Serena was concerned that he was ok and at home now. Bernie filled her in on how he was and that she had left him at Serena's in bed watching TV for a bit with some sandwiches. Serena managed a smile... "Thank you... for doing that" Bernie kissed her cheek and they set off to Serena's.

When they arrived back...they both noticed two bouquets of flowers were left by the door and some cards on the hall mat. Bernie picked them up for Serena and took them through to the kitchen where she put them on the table. Serena sat down and looked at the small cards that came with the flowers... 'From everyone on AAU, thinking of you, sending love xx' Serena showed Bernie and she smiled at her. "They are beautiful..." Serena nodded, a small tear trickling down her cheek.

She looked at the other card and read it 'Thinking of you at this awful and sad time, love from everyone at the hospital x'. She couldn't face opening any of the cards so left them in a pile on the table while Bernie made them some tea. She put some biscuits on the table and they sat in silence for a bit just taking everything in.

"How was the... meeting?" Bernie asked cautiously wanting to show that she cared but not prying. Serena mentioned what had been discussed and a possible date. They had chosen a coffin and decided on a cremation. Serena wiped away another tear and Bernie reached for her hand. "Is there anything... I can do?" she whispered and Serena shook her head... "You are doing more than enough... thank you".

Bernie got up and said she was going to check on Jason... "If he is awake... do you want to see him? Just so I can let him know either way..." Serena nodded and sipped her tea.

Bernie walked up the stairs slowly... she felt like a long sleep but that could wait for a bit longer... she gently knocked on Jason's door and heard him say "Come in".

"Hi... Jason...  just to say we are back now... how are you?". He said he had been to sleep and was ok... "Is Auntie Serena here?" he was obviously anxious about seeing her and Bernie nodded saying she would come up and see him in a minute. He smiled and settled back down under the covers.

Bernie shut the door and used the bathroom before heading back downstairs. Serena was on the phone in the kitchen and Bernie waited in the lounge not wanting to intrude. She almost lay down to rest but made herself stay sitting up... she knew if she lay down that would be it!

Serena came out of the kitchen and found Bernie with her eyes closed sitting on the sofa... Serena thought she looked exhausted and went to sit by her leaning her head on Bernie's shoulder. Bernie opened her eyes slowly and kissed Serena's hair... "Is everything... ok?"

Serena explained that Ric had called her and wanted to come round and see her... she said it was kind of him but put him off until tomorrow.. "I just can't face it today". Bernie nodded and pulled her into a proper cuddle, they stayed like that for a few minutes before Bernie mentioned that Jason was expecting her to go up soon to say hello.

Serena nodded and got up... "I think I will get some sleep after I pop in and see Jason... I think you should too... come upstairs... you look worn out". Bernie nodded and they both headed upstairs holding hands loosely.

Bernie went into Serena's room and changed into her pyjama trousers, she kept her long sleeved t-shirt on and got under the covers. God that felt good... she didn't realise how much she ached or that her head was pounding... how long had it been doing that... she didn't know...

Serena knocked on Jason's door and waited for him to answer, when he did she pushed it open gently and smiled at him. He beamed at her and held his arms out... Serena walked over slowly and sat on the bed next to him, she hugged him tightly and asked him how he was feeling. He said he was feeling better now he was at home with them. "I have missed you so much... Auntie Serena". She managed another smile even though it was difficult.

"Do you have everything you need... Jason?" He nodded and explained how kind Bernie had been to him. "Bernie is the nicest person I have met apart from you Auntie Serena". Serena touched his arm affectionately.

"Bernie asked me to ask you if you would like some fish and chips for tea..." Serena was still gently touching his arm and sitting next to him on top of his covers. He smiled at her and nodded. Serena stroked his hair slightly and kissed his forehead... "I'm going to get some sleep now Jason... so is Bernie but I have my phone on next to me so if you need anything just leave me a message". He said he would be fine and not disturb them, he did want to know what time the fish and chips were going to be collected by Bernie though and Serena managed another smile.

When Serena got into the bedroom... she noticed that Bernie had left her bedside lamp on for her but that she was already fast asleep. Serena looked at her gorgous face and beautiful hair... she noticed that Bernie was breathing quite heavily and snuffling a little which melted her heart.

She changed herself into her pyjama trousers keeping another one of Bernie's jumpers on that she had worn this morning. It was a comfort to wear her clothes at the moment... she didn't know why particularly.. they were far too long... but Serena knew they were providing warmth and security as well as the incredible woman who was laying asleep in her bed...

Serena wondered how things would have progressed if Elinor hadn't died... the same? She had thought before it had happened about asking Bernie to move in with her but now if she asked it was different... she didn't want it to be a pity ask or because she was feeling extremely needy at the moment... no she would wait for that conversation... although she did see that happening... and what else who knew... all she did know was that she needed Bernie more than she had ever needed anyone ever before.


	56. Saturday

There was a gentle knock at the door and Bernie went to answer it... she knew it was Ric... he had been quite persistent in texting Serena offering to come round and see her this morning. Bernie knew he had also lost a child and was also wanting to visit as Serena's friend. She didn't know Ric too well but she knew he had a close friendship with Serena and would be a support to her at this awful time.

"Hi... Ric.. come in" Bernie smiled at him and stepped to the side so Ric could come into the hallway. "Bernie... how is she doing?" Bernie just sighed and spoke very quietly... "She is completely devastated... she will try and be brave in front of you though... thank you for coming... you have been there too she says... i'm so sorry I didn't know".

Ric nodded and touched her arm briefly.. "Thank you... where is she...?" Bernie showed him through to the lounge where Serena was sat on the sofa with her legs curled up to the side and drinking some tea that Bernie had made for her. "Can I get you a drink... Ric..?" Bernie spoke kindly and Ric was glad that Serena had found someone like Bernie to be with. "Umm... coffee please... thanks". Bernie left to go into the kitchen shutting the door behind her to give them some privacy...

"Serena... I'm so so sorry... Ric hugged her and sat to the side of her on the sofa..." Serena just nodded and touched his arm..."Thank you for coming round... it's very kind of you... I know how busy you are with Hanssen away". Ric just shrugged his shoulders and offered her a smile. "You must take as much time as you need off work... please don't worry about it... we have got it covered...and Bernie can have another couple of days off too... I know you need her..." Serena nodded... "She has been completely amazing".

Ric sat back and began to ask Serena in more detail what had happened with Elinor... he knew most bits of course but wanted to hear it from Serena and show his interest. "How's Jason doing...? Is he here at the moment?" Serena nodded and explained that he was feeling delicate but ok and that Bernie was mainly looking after him. Ric nodded and asked about the funeral arrangements. Serena told him what she had arranged with Edward so far and knew that she had to sort out some flowers today. Ric gave her some general advice that had helped him and she nodded taking in his words.

Bernie knocked lightly on the lounge door and entered with a large tray of drinks and biscuits setting it down on the coffee table and showing Serena another pile of cards that had just arrived for her. Serena still hadn't opened the ones from yesterday but took them thanking her and held her hand out to Bernie. Bernie looked at Ric and he nodded... she certainly didn't want anyone to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable...

She took Serena's hand and put her other arm round her shoulder kissing her hair lightly. "I am going to check on Jason for a bit..." she gave her another kiss but this time on Serena's cheek and gave Ric a smile before leaving the room shutting the door behind her again.

"I am so lucky... to have her" Serena spoke softly and Ric nodded. "She is also lucky to have you... you know" Serena just shrugged and sat back on the sofa...

"How did you get through it... Ric...?" He chatted about various things that had helped and some things that didn't. He said time helped a lot and he had learned to live with it... "You need to be kind to yourself... make sure of that... Serena" she shrugged again and felt a tear trickling down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away embarrassed that Ric had seen it but he just put his arm round her shoulder briefly and gave her an affectionate squeeze that was very unusual for him... Serena thought.

Jason was happily watching TV with Bernie in his bedroom. He was under the covers and she was laying on top of them with her back resting against the headboard. She was happy to watch some World's Strongest Man with him that he had downloaded... she knew it made him happy and she wanted to give Serena and Ric some space.

Jason was feeling better physically but the whole accident had made him anxious as well as Serena not being able to be there as much for him at the moment emotionally. He was happy he had Bernie and wanted her to stay for a bit longer when she got up off the bed. She sat back down and nodded... "Let me know if you want to get some sleep though..." Jason nodded. He wanted her to help word a text to Celia.... she wanted to come round and visit but Jason felt he wasn't up to it today... "I don't want to make her sad or cross..." Bernie thought he seemed on edge...

"How about writing that you are extremely tired today and need to rest but she is welcome to come round for lunch tomorrow?" Bernie helped him type this on his phone as his shoulder and arm were still sore and she said that she would get some bits in for them if Celia wanted to come round tomorrow.

Jason hugged her and held on tightly... "Thank you, you are very kind to me" she blushed slightly but smiled at him and said she would come back in a bit... "I need to see if Serena is ok... Ric has been here for a while and she may have had enough now..." she smiled. Jason understood, he mentioned that he wasn't keen on Mr Griffin but knew he was a friend of Serena's. Bernie chuckled at this and left him to watch some Doctor Who in peace.

Ric had got up from the sofa to leave just as Bernie came into the lounge... "Would you like some more drinks...?" 

"Thank you... Bernie but I must get back to work now... I don't expect you back at the hospital before Tuesday..." Bernie nodded and thanked him... "I'll show you out..." she shut the lounge door and walked to the front door with Ric... "How did she seem to you...?" Ric told her what they had talked about ... "She really does love you... you know and is very grateful for all you are doing..." Bernie smiled at him... "Thank you for saying that... and thank you for coming.. it will have meant a lot to her... I know she values your friendship". He nodded and went back outside into the cold... "See you on Tuesday... but if you need anymore time just call".

Bernie headed back towards the lounge and found Serena laying down on the sofa, her head on the arm under a cushion and looking at her phone. Bernie sat down beside her and gave her a gentle kiss... "Did it help... seeing Ric...?" Serena shrugged her shoulders... "A little I guess... I need to pick some flowers... for the funeral... I had a text from Liberty saying they would like to pick the music if that is ok and I can pick the flowers... would you help me choose?".

Bernie moved Serena's feet up gently onto her lap and began to stroke her legs... "I would be honoured to help you pick some flowers... shall I get my laptop so we can see clearer...?" Serena nodded and Bernie went to get it from the kitchen. She also brought back in some sandwiches she had made earlier and put in the fridge for when they wanted them. "Please eat something... Serena..." she put them on the coffee table and went to make some coffee's while the laptop loaded.

They sat on the sofa together eating and drinking slowly while looking at flower options... "What were her favourites...?" Bernie asked gently. Serena said quietly that she didn't know. "Well... maybe something... vibrant and classy? That's how I saw her... you know after meeting her" Bernie shrugged.

Serena liked that idea and they looked at various arrangements and sprays. After settling on what Serena liked the best she emailed the funeral directors to let them know what she wanted and sat back on the sofa feeling completely drained.

"I'm so tired..." Serena leaned to rest her head on Bernie's shoulder. Bernie nodded and said she should get some rest upstairs... "Is Jason... ok?"

Bernie said that he was absolutely fine and understood that Serena had a lot going on at the moment. Serena shrugged her shoulders and got up off the sofa. "Will you come and cuddle with me for a bit... do you have time or things to do...?"

Bernie smiled at her and whispered... "I always have time for that... of course I will". They walked upstairs together quietly in case Jason was asleep and went into the bedroom, Bernie carefully shutting the door behind them. The bedroom looked quite a mess and she busied herself tidying it up while Serena used the bathroom.

They lay under the covers Bernie holding Serena tightly and stroking her hair lovingly... "I love you so much... Serena... I wish I could take the pain away for you" Bernie was whispering into her hair. Serena just held on tighter and whispered back.. "I love you too... always" and she fell gradually into a deep sleep.


	57. Sunday

Bernie was pushing a trolley round Sainsburys deciding on what to get... she had promised Jason that she would get some bits for his lunch with Celia...

Celia had agreed to come round for lunch today after Jason's text to her yesterday and Bernie searched for the items he had written on a list for her. She also got some nice ingredients to make Serena a lovely meal later... she wanted to encourage her to eat as she didn't seem to have an appetite at the moment, although when Bernie put certain things in front of her she did eat them...

She picked up bits to make the steak meal she knew Serena really enjoyed that she had cooked for her before a couple of times. She made sure there were plenty of soft drinks for Jason and Celia and picked up another electronic cigarette pack, she really was trying even though it had been a really tough time to give up smoking after what had happened...

When she got back to Serena's she found Jason in the lounge... he was up and ready in plenty of time before Celia was coming round. Bernie smiled at him and went through to the kitchen to put the bags on the kitchen table. Jason followed her in and made her a cup of tea while she unpacked all of the items. She showed him the things she had got for him and Celia and he went to fetch his wallet from the lounge to get some cash for her... when he came back in Bernie told him it was fine and to put his money away... "I was getting shopping anyway Jason... it's fine". He thanked her and sat at the kitchen table to chat while she tidied round and sorted out the shopping.

"Has Serena been downstairs...?" Bernie asked Jason while she sipped her tea. He shook his head and said he hadn't heard any sounds from her bedroom at all. Bernie got up and said she was going to check on her... Jason nodded and went to watch some TV in the lounge before Celia was due round in about twenty minutes.

Bernie opened the bedroom door carefully and it was still really dark... the curtains were still pulled shut and she could see Serena asleep on Bernie's side of the bed... she must have moved over when Bernie had got up earlier. She went over to the bed... Serena was still wearing one of her jumpers and her cheeks looked tear stained. Bernie felt a stabbing pain in her heart to see the woman she loves so upset and devastated, it hurt her to have to see Serena in so much pain...

She pulled the door shut quietly and headed back downstairs. She went to sit with Jason for a bit until Celia arrived and he asked after Serena... "She is still asleep... so i'll leave her for a bit.." Bernie sat back on the sofa she usually cuddled up with Serena on... it felt empty without her. Jason looked a bit puzzled that Serena was still in bed at lunchtime and Bernie explained how tired and drained she was after the shock of losing Elinor... "It's a lot for her to get her head round.. Jason... it was so sudden and Elinor was so young..." Jason nodded and suddenly heard a knock at the door.

He raced to get it knowing it was Celia and Bernie took the opportunity to check her phone... there was a text from Raf asking after Serena 'Hi Bernie, how is Serena doing? I feel awkward about texting her so thought I would check with you, will you please tell her I am thinking of her and if she wants a chat I am here for her, Raf'

Bernie typed back a quick message thanking him for his concern and saying that she would pass the message on to Serena.

Jason and Celia came into the lounge holding hands and Bernie smiled at Celia... "Hi...." Celia smiled back at her and said how sorry she was about Serena's daughter. Bernie nodded thanking her. "Auntie Serena is still in bed so we need to be quiet..." Jason spoke very to the point and they headed into the kitchen to make some lunch.

Bernie felt a bit lost... Serena was asleep and Jason was now busy with Celia... she had the rest of today and tomorrow off work and wasn't sure what she should be doing... should she go to her flat for a bit? She thought against it as she wanted to be around for when Serena woke up.

She decided in the end to go back upstairs and clean the main bathroom... cleaning helped her to de-stress and she knew it would be helpful at the moment to keep everywhere looking nice. When she had finished that she checked on Serena again and she was still fast asleep. Bernie went downstairs back into and lounge as the kitchen was still occupied. She decided to give Charlotte a call as she had been texting her over the last few days and had been putting off a conversation...

Charlotte picked up almost immediately... "Mum... hi... how are you...?" Bernie realised how good it was to hear her voice and they started chatting about various bits and pieces. Bernie explained how Serena was as Charlotte was concerned and she also wanted to know how Jason was doing. Bernie checked how Charlotte was getting on back at uni and how her boyfriend was. They chatted for a good thirty minutes and then Charlotte had to go as her friend was picking her up to go out. Bernie thanked her for the chat... it had helped her and Charlotte said she could call at anytime, Bernie was grateful and thanked her again.

Jason and Celia came into the lounge and wanted to watch TV... "Did you enjoy your lunch...?" Bernie smiled at them and they nodded thanking her for getting it. Bernie left them to it and went back upstairs... it was now 2.30pm and she thought Serena may be awake now...

She walked cautiously into the bedroom and the lamp was now on... she walked over to the bed and Serena was awake but laying down... the sheets pulled right up around her... when she saw Bernie she lifted the covers for her to get in. Bernie snuggled up to her and kissed her lips lightly... "How... are you?" Serena lay quietly not knowing what to say...

"Stupid question... i'm sorry" Bernie held her tighter and told her that Raf had text to send his love. Serena managed a little smile and said she would send him a text in a bit. Bernie asked if she would like something to eat and Serena shrugged her shoulders. Bernie mentioned that she was making steak tonight and she would warm some soup up for Serena now... "It's important you eat... sweetheart" she kissed her cheek softly and stroked her hair.

"Would you like me to run you a bath... while I make you some lunch?" Serena shook her head... "Thank you but I'm fine in bed". Bernie nodded slightly and left to go to the kitchen... she was getting worried about Serena. She knew she had to make sure she ate properly and got plenty of rest but she noticed her spark had vanished... understandable but still it hurt Bernie to witness the light going out in Serena's eyes and face...

She checked on Jason and Celia and they were happily engrossed in some drama that Celia wanted to watch... Jason was looking much better and Bernie went to the kitchen to prepare some soup and a sandwich for Serena.

She took a tray upstairs with some lunch on and the pile of cards that had arrived over the last few days... Serena hadn't wanted to open them but Bernie was going to try and gently encourage her to after people had kindly sent them. She put the tray on the bed and waited for Serena to come out of the en suite. When Serena opened the door and came back into the bedroom Bernie noticed that she looked like she had lost weight already, she didn't say anything but just showed Serena what she had made for her to eat and the pile of cards... "Do you feel up to opening them... now?" She also mentioned that more flowers had arrived from two of Serena's old friends and from one of her cousins.

Serena agreed to opening the cards if Bernie stayed with her... "Of course I will... you know i'll do whatever you want or need" Bernie put her arm round her and kissed her hair. They sat in bed... Serena eating her soup and stopping to open cards... reading the words and passing them to Bernie to read. Bernie reached for her hand and she saw tears trickling down Serena's cheeks. "We can stop... if you want to...?" Serena shook her head... might as well open them all now.

They heard a gentle knock at the door and heard Jason say "Auntie Serena... can I see you?" Bernie looked at Serena and she shook her head firmly... "Not right now..." she whispered to Bernie. Bernie went to the door, opened it and shut it quietly behind her... "Serena is still sleeping Jason... maybe you can see her in a little while..." Jason looked sad but nodded and went back downstairs to watch some more TV with Celia, she was only staying another half an hour before she was being picked up so Bernie left them to it and went back in the bedroom to be with Serena.

"Would you like me to leave you to it for a bit... you know... so you can rest...?" Serena shook her head moving closer and resting her head on Bernie's shoulder..."No... please stay with me... I just want... you". Bernie nodded understanding and held her tightly, kissing her gently...

They stayed cuddling tightly for a while and Bernie dozed off... she came to realising that Serena wasn't in the bed anymore and it had gone dark. She used the bathroom and went to head downstairs when she heard Serena's voice on the phone from the room she used as an office. She left her to it and plodded downstairs finding Jason in the kitchen making some tea. "Has Celia gone... Jason...?" he nodded and made her a cup of tea as well. "Did you have a nice time?" he nodded again and asked Bernie if she would watch some TV with him. She nodded and they went to settle in the lounge together.

After a while Serena appeared still in her pyjama bottoms and Bernie's jumper from yesterday... Jason looked up and smiled at her... "Auntie Serena..." he got up and gave her a hug. She hugged him back and went to sit with Bernie on 'their' sofa. "Did I hear you on the phone...?" Bernie spoke softly as the TV was on. Serena nodded and said she had given Raf a call. "I've said he can come round.... tomorrow at some point... just for a bit though" Bernie nodded and smiled at her.

She started making dinner while Serena and Jason sat watching TV. Jason wanted to sit next to Serena and she let him for a bit before going to find Bernie in the kitchen for a cuddle. Bernie pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her... "Tea will be ready in twenty minutes..." Serena nodded gratefully and said she was going to take a quick shower.

Bernie enjoyed cooking dinner... she had got back into cooking lately and found it a great way to unwind after work... she loved cooking for Serena, she had never really bothered much in the past about cooking for Marcus... he had the odd favourite of hers that she made but she never wanted to please him like she does now with Serena. Impressing Serena was and is everything... even right from the start when they met... she wanted to spoil her and take care of her... particularly now at this awful time.

Serena came back down in her robe and sat at the kitchen table ready to eat. Her hair was still damp and her cheeks looked pale. Bernie dished up the meal and called Jason through to eat. They ate quietly and Serena and Jason both thanked Bernie for cooking. She smiled and cleared the plates away, Jason offering to wash up which she let him do this time.

Serena went back upstairs and asked Bernie if she could sort the flowers out that had arrived. Bernie found some vases in one of the kitchen cupboards and set to work putting them in water... this was certainly not her forte!

When she went back upstairs to the bedroom Serena seemed cross and was staring at her phone... "Edward wants everyone to come back here after the... funeral" she seemed exasperated and totally drained. "Ok... what do you think?" Bernie rubbed her shoulder affectionately. Serena shook her head and said she absolutely didn't want that... "I don't want to even text him back..." she sank under the sheets and Bernie reached for her hand... "Would you like me to give him a call...?"

"Would you...?" Serena squeezed her hand tightly and snuggled up to her... "I just can't face... any of it..." Bernie wrapped her arms round her and held her tightly... "Just rest... ok... i'll sort things out with Edward" she went to get up taking Serena's phone out of her hand gently and Serena pulled her back for a second kissing her.. "I really don't know what I would do without you..."


	58. Monday

Bernie woke to the sound of her mobile... it was Morven... she had text her late yesterday asking if she would kindly bring some paperwork round to Serena's after she finished her night shift. Morven had replied yesterday saying that was kind of Bernie and it was fine... she would be very grateful if Bernie could sign some things off... it wouldn't take her long.

"Hi... Morven... are you just about to leave...?" Morven wanted to check exactly which files to bring and said she would be there in about fifteen minutes. She reassured Bernie that AAU was running ok... obviously not the same without its two Co-Leads but Raf, Fletch and herself were working extra hours until Bernie returned and were coping ok. Bernie thanked her and said she would see her shortly.

She hung up and looked round the bedroom aware that Serena wasn't in the room.... she had realised before she had answered her phone. She got out of bed and listened to see if she was in the en suite and when she wasn't she headed onto the landing... no sign there either. She then heard a noise come from the room Elinor stayed in which was her old bedroom when she had lived at home and she gently pushed the door open as it wasn't fully shut.

She saw Serena sitting on Elinor's bed looking through some papers... "Are you ok...?" Bernie went over to her and put an arm round her. Serena just looked up at her tears in her eyes and put her other arm up for a proper cuddle. Bernie sat down on the bed next to her and held her...

"Morven is popping round in a minute to bring me some papers to check and sign... she won't stay... just finished a night shift... but just so you know". Serena nodded and was looking round the room... "What do I do with her things... Bernie..."

"Nothing... for now..." Bernie squeezed her hand tightly and kissed her hair. "What time is Raf coming round...?". Serena told her that it was going to be around 11am. Bernie nodded and they sat there a bit longer together... quietly until they heard a knock at the front door and Bernie headed down to see Morven.

Morven smiled at her when she opened the door... "Bernie... how are you..?" she stepped into the hall for a moment and reached to give Bernie a hug. Bernie hugged her back... she really did care about Morven... "I'm... you know" she shrugged and knew that Morven understood. "Here are the files... there isn't a rush but if you could bring them back when you are back at work properly, that would be great". Bernie nodded and filled Morven in on what she had agreed with Ric. Morven asked after Serena and Bernie answered honestly...

"Well... please give her my love and I will call her for a chat when she feels up to it..." she touched Bernie's arm and Bernie smiled at her. "I will... thank you... you know... for everything."

Morven asked about Elinor's funeral and Bernie said it was due to be on Friday. She told her about arranging with Edward about going to a quieter pub Elinor liked after the service and Morven said that she wanted to be there. Now she had the date she would arrange cover so she could come... she knew Jasmine would want to come to and was sure that Raf would hold the fort.

After Morven left... Bernie went upstairs to check on Jason... he was staying in bed until he was going to Alan's. Alan had kindly agreed to have him to stay for a few nights to give Bernie and Serena a break... he knew they had a lot to do with the funeral coming up and also Jason needed extra care at the moment and he was very familiar with his wants and needs! Jason smiled when Bernie went into his room after knocking, she collected the empty glasses that were piling up as well as plates and went down to make him some toast and tea.

Serena plodded downstairs to see where Bernie was... she found her in the kitchen and went to her for a cuddle. Bernie stopped what she was doing and held Serena tightly... "I love you..." she whispered as she stroked her hair at the same time... "Would you like something to eat before Raf comes...?" Serena nodded and said she would like some toast too. Bernie was relieved that she wouldn't have to insist on Serena eating something and made plenty of tea and toast for them all.

Serena then went upstairs to use the shower... when she dressed she made herself put something of her own on... she had been wearing Bernie's jumpers for days and was reluctant to stop but she knew she had to make more of an effort and Raf would worry about her if she wasn't presentable. She chose one of her favourite long cardigans and did her hair... she didn't feel any better but felt more 'normal'.

Bernie came up to check on her and as she was going into the bedroom Jason wandered at the door to try and see Serena. Bernie went to check and Serena came out onto the landing and chatted with Jason for a few minutes checking on how he was. She told him she hoped he had a nice time at Alan's and be gave her a hug... "You look nice Auntie Serena" she managed a bit of a smile and thanked him. "Bernie is taking me to Alan's when she is dressed..." Serena nodded and went downstairs... Raf would be here at any time.

Bernie and Jason left and Serena was wandering around the downstairs of the house feeling a bit lost... she actually felt a little anxious without Bernie there... she knew it was ridiculous but it was how she felt... Bernie was a soothing comfort and she needed that at the moment. Her thoughts turned to Raf when there was a knock at the door and she went to answer it...

"Serena... " Raf was standing there with some pink roses for her and he hugged her tightly... "I am so very sorry..." she held onto him for a quite a while before she let go... "Come in... thank you for coming round... it's nice to see you". They went through to the kitchen and Serena put the kettle on.

They chatted about how she was, AAU, Bernie, the funeral, various bits and pieces... Serena felt comfortable with Raf... he was one of her best friends and she knew she was one of his. They understood each other and he was very kind. He reached to hold her hand briefly when she got upset and he was caring not seeming uncomfortable.

She made them some more coffee's when Bernie arrived back... "Hi Raf..." she came into the kitchen and Raf got up to give her a brief hug. "Hi...."

They all sat around the table drinking coffee and Bernie had bought some cakes back for them to enjoy.

Serena told Raf how brave Bernie had been calling Edward... twice now! Raf chuckled... "How was that then..?" he knew what Edward could be like from Serena's ramblings...

"Oh... you know... awkward..." Bernie managed a smile that only Raf saw...

He nodded and touched Serena's arm... "You've got a keeper here..." he motioned to Bernie with his eyes. "Oh I know..." Serena reached for Bernie's hand and held it knowing Raf wouldn't mind.

They chatted about Raf then for a bit... what was going on with him... Serena thought it was brilliant that something was 'going on' between him and Essie, she thought a lot of both of them and she wanted the gossip... allowing herself to forget her grief for a few minutes. Raf looked unsure but a nod from Bernie encouraged him to spill the beans!

Raf left after an hour and a half... he felt this was plenty for Serena to cope with and after hugging her tightly again he mentioned he would certainly cover AAU on Friday so Morven and Jasmine could go to the funeral. Serena thanked him and Raf said he would check on her again very soon. "Please take care.... Serena" she nodded and held onto Bernie's hand as they saw him out at the front door.

Bernie thought Serena looked exhausted now and suggested she went to lay down. Serena nodded while Bernie made them some cups of tea and took them upstairs to the bedroom.

Serena had already put her pyjama bottoms back on and another jumper of Bernie's... Bernie had put a pile of clean ones on her bag knowing Serena would want one of them... she didn't mind at all.

Bernie cuddled her and said she would make something nice for tea later... Jason was occupied at Alan's and she knew that Serena could totally relax...

"Is there anything I can do to help.. you know for Friday?" Bernie nuzzled into Serena's neck and kissed her gently... "There is something..." Serena was speaking very quietly and slowly. Bernie looked at her.. willing to do anything... "I wanted a nice photo of her to have at the front and well... I can't face going through the photo's of her... just yet... do you think you could have a look for me and choose some possibles...?"

Bernie pulled her closer... "Of course I will... I would do anything for you... Serena"

Serena breathed in Bernie's perfume from her neck... "I know you would... thank you so much".


	59. Tuesday (Day of Aces High Episode)

Bernie sat at Serena's kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee and eating an apple, she had slept badly... Serena had been tossing and turning throughout the night and she couldn't get back off to sleep when she had been woken up.

She was just getting up to throw her apple core in the bin when Jason appeared wanting to make some breakfast. Bernie asked how he was feeling and he said he was feeling a bit better. She offered to make him something to eat and he gratefully accepted smiling at her and sitting down at the table. She made him some pancakes and a cup of tea and then sat with him while he ate. They were comfortable enough with each other now to sit quietly and not to have to fill silences but Jason wanted to chat to her...

"Bernie... can I talk to you about something?" Bernie nodded and said that of course he could. He mentioned that he was feeling very anxious about Elinor's funeral and he didn't want to worry Serena. Bernie touched his arm offering him some comfort... "What would help you to feel less worried... Jason...can I do anything to help you...?"

Jason thought for a few seconds and then asked if she would take him shopping so he could get something better to wear... "I don't have anything suitable, I want to look smart" he still seemed worried and she smiled at him and nodded... "Of course... do you feel up to popping out today...?". He said he did as long as they weren't out too long and Bernie agreed as she wanted to go to her flat to check on things and again swap some things over.

Jason asked if she minded him coming with her to her flat for a bit and Bernie said she didn't mind at all. She knew Jason felt relaxed there and it was a change of scene for him at the moment being stuck not being able to do much while still recovering.

She said she was going to check on Serena as she had left her sleeping a while ago and thought she may be awake now. Jason asked if they could go out in half an hour and Bernie agreed to be ready for then.

She went upstairs and cautiously went into the bedroom... Serena wasn't in there or in the en suite. She checked the main bathroom and Elinor's bedroom but she wasn't in either of those places. Eventually she found her in the office at the desk looking at the three photo's of Elinor Bernie had found last night after going through quite a few and coming up with those as the better ones. "Hi...." Bernie went over to her and put her hand on her shoulder. Serena turned round and put her arms round Bernie's waist and held on tight... "Hi..."

"What do you think of those ones..." Bernie was apprehensive as she didn't even know Elinor but this was important to Serena. Serena had tears streaming down her pale cheeks but nodded and thanked Bernie for doing that for her. She choose the second one to have enlarged to put in a frame at the front for the funeral and the first one to put in the order of service. Bernie cuddled her tightly and mentioned that she was taking Jason out for a bit and then popping to her flat. "Will you be ok... for a couple of hours... you can call me if you need anything..." Bernie kissed her gently and Serena nodded. She wanted to sort through some more of Elinor's things and Bernie said she would be back later.

"If you could pick up some ingredients I will make dinner for us tonight..." Serena wiped her tears away and looked at Bernie offering her a small smile... "I want to keep busy..." Bernie nodded... "If you're sure... that would be really lovely..."

Bernie went to use the en suite shower and got ready. She met Jason back in the lounge and they set off in Bernie's car to head into town. Jason wanted to get some new trousers and a smart shirt... he didn't really have these things and wanted to look his best so Serena would be proud of him. Bernie smiled at him and said that was lovely. She went with him to Marks and Spencers where he chose some black trousers and then onto Debenhams where he eventually selected a dark grey shirt after trying on a lot. He waited patiently while she bought a new black jacket to wear and they stopped for a coffee in the Debenhams coffee shop.

Bernie checked her phone to see if Serena needed anything but there wasn't a text. There was one from Morven though which she read straight away in case there was a problem at work and saw that she mentioned Cam was leaving.... Bernie felt sad and disappointed that he wasn't going to tell her. She told Jason this while they were sipping hot drinks and he said that perhaps Cameron didn't want to burden or worry her at the moment which she thought was really insightful of him.

She wanted to catch Cam before he finished his shift so asked Jason if he minded being dropped off at her flat for a bit and she would join him shortly. He nodded and understood, he was happy to be at Bernie's flat as long as he could watch TV which Bernie assured him he could even though she didn't have his usual TV packages!

Serena sat in Elinor's old bedroom slowly going through bits and pieces. There were some things mainly from her childhood that she had wanted keeping... she had taken most stuff with her to uni but it still felt like Elinor's room to Serena. She looked through her old school books, art projects, certificates and felt a wave of grief wash over her. She curled up on her bed for a bit... this was too hard and even harder to do it alone. She wanted Bernie but didn't want to text her pathetically asking her to come back... she knew Bernie was helping Jason and needed to collect some bits from her flat as she had been kindly staying at Serena's every night. She would just wait for her to come back and rest for now...

Bernie dropped Jason off at her flat making sure the heating was on and he was comfortable before she left for the hospital, it was getting chilly outside so she had put on her wool jacket and scarf before saying goodbye to Jason and telling him that he could contact her on her mobile but she wouldn't be long.

She waited in the entrance to make sure she saw Cam as he was on the way out from work. She eventually saw him after it must have been forty minutes of waiting... she didn't feel like going up to AAU yet. They chatted and hugged and she felt better for seeing him... she knew why he hadn't said anything... she knew that he thought she had enough on her plate at the moment with looking after Serena... and Jason. She wished him luck and he said he would be in touch when he had settled in at the new hospital in London.

Bernie called at the supermarket to pick up the ingredients Serena had asked her to collect and then went back to the flat. Jason was happily watching some documentary she had recorded a few weeks ago and she got him a drink while she swapped some clothes over and did a load of laundry. "Did you see Cameron?" Jason was concerned that Bernie had seen him before he left. She nodded and explained that he was going to a new placement in London for a bit. Jason looked sorry about this and said he would miss him. Bernie gulped and tried not to well up at hearing this... she would miss him too... they had just got their relationship back on track.

They were there another hour while Bernie finished sorting things out and sorted through her post. Jason was fine to wait for her and she thought he seemed far more patient these days, he was ok to rest and just keep himself occupied... she really did think a lot of him.

On the drive to Serena's Jason was chatting again about the funeral... "Bernie... can I sit by you on Friday... that would help me". Bernie nodded... "Of course you can..." he smiled at her and changed the subject to Celia... he was looking forward to seeing her tomorrow.

They arrived back and Bernie said they should be quiet in case Serena was resting or asleep. Jason nodded and went into the lounge to put down his bags. Bernie put the kettle on for them and the dinner ingredients away in the fridge. She left Jason in the lounge for a bit and headed upstairs where she found Serena asleep on Elinor's bed... things around her which she had obviously been looking at and she was wearing another of Bernie's jumpers. Bernie looked at Serena's face as she slept and felt full of love for her. She turned the lamp off and kissed Serena on the forehead before going back downstairs...

Jason asked after Serena and Bernie mentioned that she was asleep. "I'm worried about Auntie Serena..." Jason looked concerned and Bernie tried to reassure him that being this sad was normal after someone you love has just died. He remembered how upset he had felt when his mum had passed away and Bernie nodded... "There you go... Serena feels very upset... she loved Elinor very much and it is really devastating because she was so young... she had her whole life ahead which Serena won't get to see". Jason sighed understanding and said that he wished he could make it all better.

Bernie touched his shoulder... "Yes me too... we just have to give Serena a lot of love and patience at the moment..." he nodded and turned on the TV to watch one of his shows.

Bernie sat with him for a while before heading back upstairs to check on Serena... she heard voices and realised that Serena was on the phone in the office. She waited in the bedroom tidying round a bit and then when everything went quiet she knocked on the office door and went in. "Hi...." she went over to give Serena a hug. "Hi....." Serena held Bernie really tightly and sighed... "I missed you....". Bernie kissed her hair... "Were you on the phone... is everything ok..?" Serena nodded... "It was just Ric... seeing how I was and saying he would like to come to the funeral on Friday...".

"That's nice of him..." Bernie reached for her hand and stroked it lovingly. "Jason got some new clothes for the funeral..." Bernie smiled at her and Serena nodded... "That's nice... thank you for taking him". Bernie nodded and said it was fine... "I got a new jacket too.. I want to look... nice".

"You always look nice..." Serena leant her head on Bernie's shoulder... "Can I see it...?" Bernie nodded and went to the bedroom to get the bag with the jacket in. She put it on to show Serena and Serena gazed at her... "You look... gorgeous..." Bernie shrugged shyly... "Thank you... you don't have to say that". Serena reached for her hand... "You do... perhaps I should get something... new... what do you think...?".

"Only if you feel like it... do you have something already that you would like to wear...?" Serena shrugged... "Not really... except a scarf that Elinor bought me last year... that I love... I would like to wear that but maybe I could get a black dress... you know... simple".

Bernie nodded thinking that sounded lovely... "Would you like me to take you to look... tomorrow?" Serena nodded... "I would like that..."

Bernie told her about Cam leaving and Serena looked shocked... "Why is he going... I thought he liked it on AAU..."

"I don't totally know why he is moving... just he seems happy and I saw him briefly as he left his last shift... he sends his love to you..." Serena reached for Bernie's hand... "You will miss him..." Bernie shrugged not really feeling like she had the right to miss her son when Serena's daughter was no longer here at all.

They both went downstairs to see Jason holding hands. Jason leapt up from the sofa when he saw Serena and gave her a tight hug. Serena held him tightly back... "How are you... Jason?" Jason told her he was ok and had a nice time shopping with Bernie and at her flat. He said he had bought some new clothes but he wanted Serena to see them on Friday and not before.

Serena sat with him for a bit while Bernie made some more drinks. "Is that Bernie's jumper you're wearing....?" Jason asked his aunt looking puzzled. She nodded but didn't feel like offering an explanation. He hadn't seemed to have noticed that for the last week she had only been wearing Bernie's jumpers or tops because it was a huge comfort to her. Bernie came back in to the lounge with the drinks on a tray and sat next to Serena on 'their' sofa. They lay cuddling together and Bernie was stroking Serena's hair... "Are you sure you feel up to cooking tea... because I can do it... if you like..?" Serena shook her head... "No... let me cook for us tonight..." Bernie nodded and kissed her cheek softly.

"You look very cute... in that jumper of mine..." she whispered into Serena's ear and Serena nuzzled into her neck. "I'm sorry I'm taking over your clothes..." Bernie just smiled at her... "I really don't mind at all... it actually makes my heart melt that you find them comforting...

"I do..." Serena stroked Bernie's cheek and rested her head on her chest... "You are a huge comfort to me". Jason smiled at them feeling less anxious... Bernie and Serena were a huge comfort to him.


	60. Wednesday

Bernie was in Serena's kitchen making them a late breakfast. Serena hadn't slept well again and she had left her in bed for a bit while she pottered round in the kitchen.

Jason appeared, dressed and looking much better... "Hi Jason.... " Bernie made him a cup of tea and he sat chatting to her while she finished making some scrambled eggs and avocado for her and Serena to take back upstairs. "What time is Celia coming round...?" Bernie was smiling at him knowing he was looking forward to seeing her. "She should be here soon... she said about 11am". Jason was looking at his watch and looking concerned as it was now exactly 11am and Celia wasn't here yet.

"I'm sure she will be here in a minute..." Bernie touched his arm and explained what she was doing for the rest of the day with Serena so he would know where they were. He looked pleased that they were going out for a bit and Bernie mentioned that she was hoping Serena would feel up to staying at her flat tonight for a change. Jason nodded looking forward to having the place to himself with Celia, Bernie did say that it wasn't a given though as she hadn't technically asked Serena yet and she might say no.

There was a knock at the door and Jason rushed to answer it while Bernie put the breakfast things on a tray and went back upstairs. She carefully went into the bedroom and put the tray on the dresser seeing that Serena was now awake...

"Hi... how are you feeling...?" Bernie left the tray on the dresser and went over to the bed to give Serena a kiss. Serena kissed her back gently and pulled her slightly down by her kissing her more. Bernie's heart melted when Serena kissed her like this... like she was the most important person to her.

"I made us some breakfast... I know it's late but I thought we could have something before we head to the shops... if you still want to go...?" Bernie got up and went to get the tray to bring back to the bed. She put the mugs of coffee by each bedside and the tray rested between them on top of the covers. They ate quietly... Serena reaching for Bernie's hand... "Thank you... this is really good" she smiled at her and Bernie realised how much she had missed that smile. It still didn't reach her eyes but it was still a smile... the most beautiful smile in the world to Bernie.

"Celia is here..." Bernie wasn't sure if Serena remembered Celia was coming round today to spend time with Jason. Serena nodded and looked a bit anxious... "I'm not sure I want to be around Jason and Celia today... not really feeling up to it..." she looked a bit upset and Bernie stroked her hand lovingly... "How about after shopping we stay at mine tonight... you know... for some peace... I will take care of you and you can just rest..." Serena nodded and thought that was a lovely idea... "Thank you... Bernie... that's really thoughtful... I would like that a lot" Serena reached her arm out for Bernie to pull her into a cuddle, she felt needy today and just wanted to be with Bernie.

Bernie used the shower first and then went downstairs to check on Jason and Celia.... they were happily watching TV and holding hands on the sofa. "Hi Celia.... how are you?" Bernie smiled at her and sat with them for a bit to wait for Serena to have a shower and pack her leather bag to stay at Bernie's for the night. Celia smiled at her and asked how she was which Bernie thought was kind. She asked them about their plans for the day and they were just going to relax... Celia understood that Jason was still recovering and was happy to just spend time with him not doing much... she had a couple of days off from work after a busy time so was happy to rest.

Serena came downstairs ready to leave and popped her head into the lounge... "Auntie Serena..." Jason was excited to see her and got up straight away to see her. Serena checked he was ok and said hello to Celia. She explained to Jason that she would be staying at Bernie's flat tonight and if he needed anything to contact one of them. Bernie noticed this now whenever they were both out or away Serena said he could contact either of them not just her anymore... this made her smile... she was getting just as close to Jason as Serena was and it made her happy that she could help Serena with him... it took the pressure off.

Jason waved them off from the hall window which Bernie thought was sweet and she drove them into town parking in the shopping centre car park. The shops were quite quiet which was a relief and Bernie asked Serena where she wanted to look for a dress...

They started in House of Fraser which was where Serena usually got fixed up with something... she tried on a couple of things but they weren't quite right. Bernie was enjoying watching Serena try dresses on... she sat in the changing room cubicle while Serena tried things on and asked her opinion... Bernie thought she looked stunning in practically everything she wore apart from one of the dresses which was far too loose.

"You are losing weight... Serena" Bernie reached for her hand and stroked it. Serena shrugged... "Well... that can't hurt can it..." she looked a bit embarrassed but Bernie just leant in and kissed her gently... "You're so beautiful and you don't even realise it..." Serena managed a half smile and took off the dress that looked awful in her eyes and they left to look in another store.

After looking in another couple of places they went into John Lewis and again looked round at the black dresses... Serena found one she liked that was simple... classy but appropriate for the occasion. She asked Bernie to come to the changing room with her and they went into one of the large cubicles. Serena tried on the dress and Bernie let out a small gasp... "That's the dress... Serena... you look...." she didn't finish her sentence and she was actually lost for words.... the dress was perfect and fit Serena beautifully.

Serena looked at herself in the mirror... she guessed it looked nice but the way Bernie was looking at her told her that she should get it. Bernie looked down a bit embarrassed... "Are you ok...?" Serena held her hand and leant her head on Bernie's shoulder... "This is really inappropriate but.... you look like... a model... gorgeous and totally stunning Serena... I don't know if that is the kind of look you want... on Friday..." Serena shrugged... she may as well look nice on what was going to be... one of the worst days of her life. She managed a half smile and thanked Bernie for making her feel attractive at the moment when she didn't feel like it.

"I'm sorry... it is inappropriate... at this time... to say... well... how sexy you look... i'm totally sorry..." Bernie did look mortified at her reaction to Serena in the black dress but Serena kissed her... "Never be sorry for finding me... attractive..."

"I do... very... very much... you know that... you're beautiful" Bernie kissed her back and Serena agreed to buy the dress. Before slipping it off Bernie pulled the scarf she wanted to wear to the funeral out of her bag... "I bought this with me so you could try it with the dresses... I hope that was ok... I know you love it as she bought it for you". Serena nodded... "Yes thank you... that's kind of you for thinking that". She tried the scarf on with the dress and it looked really lovely... she kissed Bernie on the cheek and then got dressed back into her clothes... well her jeans and another of Bernie's jumpers... she was still finding comfort in wearing them at the moment.

She paid for the dress and Bernie suggested a quiet coffee and a sit down which Serena thought was a good idea... she was feeling tired but it was nice to be doing something normal for a change and being out of the house... she felt safe with Bernie.

They drank coffee and shared a slice of cake... Bernie wanted to get a few bits to make dinner later so they stopped off at a small supermarket on the way to Bernie's flat.

When they got to Bernie's... Serena went for a lay down in Bernie's bed. Bernie made her a cup of tea to take to bed and gave her an extra blanket to keep her warm and cosy. She held her tightly and stroked her hair while she dozed off...

Bernie did some laundry and tidied the kitchen up a bit putting the dinner ingredients away. She sent a text to Jason checking on him and also one to Charlotte...

Charlotte replied straight away saying she would like to come to the funeral on Friday if that was ok to support them both even though she didn't know Elinor well. Bernie thought that was lovely of her and thanked her... she would look forward to seeing her then. She also got a reply from Jason saying that everything was fine and they were watching films and going to get a takeaway pizza for tea.

At around 6pm Bernie started to make dinner... she had decided earlier to make a spaghetti carbonara as she was quite confident in making it and knew Serena liked it. She put her ipod on quietly and started cooking... when there was only ten minutes until it was ready she woke Serena carefully with a kiss and Serena smiled at her. "Tea's almost ready..." Bernie kissed her on the forehead and Serena kissed her back going for her lips though and deepening the kiss which Bernie was not expecting.

She dished up the meal and Serena came through to the kitchen wearing Bernie's robe. They ate quietly... music still playing in the background and Bernie had lit some candles to make it nicer. She told Serena about Jason being fine and that Charlotte was wanting to come on Friday if that was ok...

Serena looked really pleased that she was intending to come... "That's really nice of her... I know she is busy with uni..." Bernie nodded and Serena thanked her for cooking... "This is really good..." Bernie smiled at her and they finished eating quietly.

"Would you like to watch something or.... can I run you a bath...?" Bernie wanted to take care of Serena but wasn't sure what she wanted to do...

"A bath would be lovely...thank you..." Serena nodded and looked at her gratefully. "Of course... it's not as lovely as your bath or bathroom..." Bernie looked down and shrugged her shoulders... she knew her place wasn't much but it was fine for the time being. "Your bathroom is just fine Bernie and the fact that you actually want to run me a bath is well... really lovely" Serena reached for her hand and held it tightly.

When they had finished eating, Bernie cleared the plates putting them in the sink and then went through to the bathroom to run Serena a bath... she found some Body Shop bath stuff that Charlotte had got for her a while ago and used that as it smelled flowery and classy. She lit some candles in there and put a fresh towel on the side... "There... it is ready for you... sweetheart..." she went into the lounge to let Serena know and sat down on the sofa "I'll be in here... if you need anything..." Serena nodded, thanked her and made her way into the bathroom where she found the most lovely bath waiting for her. She didn't say to Bernie but no one had made her a bath before... just for her... it melted her heart.

Bernie washed up the dinner things and then settled to watch some TV... relaxing while she waited for Serena... she had told her to take her time...

Serena lay back in Bernie's bath and felt tears trickle down her cheeks... she felt grief wash over her again now she was alone with her thoughts... she wished she felt up to sharing the bath with Bernie but it didn't feel right even though she kind of wanted to... she lay her head back on the rim of the bath and took some deep breaths... it was nice to be away for the night... a change of scene and it was nice to completely relax... she couldn't really with Jason around and especially not with Celia there... she didn't mind her staying she just wasn't up to being around people at the moment... generally... apart from Bernie.

She dried herself with the towel wrapping it around her and went through to the lounge where Bernie was laying down with her legs up on the sofa watching some documentary... "Hi... how was your bath...?"

"Perfect thank you... really gorgeous... Bernie... I forgot to bring... pyjama's..." Bernie looked at her trying not to look pleased at all... it certainly was not appropriate... she was looking at Serena though... just in a towel and feeling terrible for fancying her like mad...

"I'll get you some of mine..." Bernie got up to go to one of her drawers... "How about this t-shirt... you always say you like it..." Bernie gave her a large dark grey GAP t-shirt and found some checked pyjama bottoms for her to wear... "Thank you... sorry... and thank you for being... you know... appropriate..." Serena managed a big smile then.

"It's very difficult... i'm trying my hardest..." Bernie pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her neck briefly... "I can't help... you know... being madly attracted to you..." Serena slipped her arms round Bernie's waist... "You know.... I actually want to.... but it doesn't feel right... not today..."

Bernie nodded... "Of course it doesn't feel right... I wouldn't expect it to... I can you know hold you...?" Serena nodded firmly... "Yes please... it's the only thing that... helps... you know". Bernie held her tightly again and kissed her hair... "I could hold you forever Serena Campbell and it still wouldn't be long enough..."


	61. Thursday

Bernie was sat waiting outside Ric Griffin's office waiting to see him. She had called him earlier in the week to see if she could have some more days off to be with Serena which he had agreed to but now she was wanting a few more and had asked him to see her today. She clenched her fingers together in her lap not knowing what his response would be, she knew he was Serena's friend as well as their colleague and current boss so she wasn't quite sure what he would say.

Ric came out of his office to call her in... "Ms Wolfe... Bernie... please come in..." he showed her to a seat and sat down behind his desk. "Ric... thanks for seeing me..." before she could say anymore he asked after Serena. Bernie explained that she still wasn't coping very well but was trying hard to be strong. Ric nodded understanding the difficulty... he knew Serena was a strong person but this would knock her off her feet as it had done to him years ago.

"Ric... I was wondering if I could have a few more days off... unpaid of course... I realise this is last minute and not what you would usually allow..." Bernie realised she was slightly trembling, she wasn't sure why. Ric stopped her there seeing she was uncomfortable. He knew about their relationship and fully supported it knowing that Serena would need a lot of care at the moment which he guessed Bernie was the only one to provide that Serena would want.

Ric nodded and suggested that she take off until the following Tuesday. "We have cover in place until then... also I have been keeping an eye on things...so don't worry at all and of course you will be paid".

Bernie nodded thanking him and asking how he was. They didn't have a friendship but had a mutual respect for each other as colleagues. Ric was Serena's friend and he spoke to Bernie about Elinor's funeral and that he was intending to be there. Bernie nodded thanking him... "Serena will really appreciate that... thank you". He nodded and showed her out knowing that she had things to do but thanking her for coming to see him. "I know you have been doing some bits of paperwork at home... so thank you for doing that..." Bernie smiled and reassured him that she would be back running AAU on Tuesday.

Serena woke up late to find a note from Bernie by the side of the bed, she knew she was planning to see Ric at the hospital this morning and guessed she would be back shortly. She stayed in bed and dozed... not really feeling up to doing anything... she was really dreading tomorrow... the funeral... and not quite sure how she was going to get through it.

Bernie ran into Fletch in the corridor and he seemed really pleased to see her... "Hey... Bernie... how are you?" she smiled at him and explained she had been to see Ric and would be off until Tuesday. He asked after Serena and Bernie explained how she was... not good. He asked whether she may be up to a visit from him and Evie as they wouldn't be able to go to the funeral. "Evie is desperate to see her and take her some flowers... would you please ask her...? We could pop round for half an hour later... if she is up to it...?" Bernie smiled and said she would check and let him know.

She set off in the car to her flat where she had left Serena in bed and knew they would be heading to Serena's later. She stopped on the way to pick up some groceries that they needed... dinner bits... cakes... milk... she knew it would be the three of them at Serena's this evening so needed to make sure they had what they needed.

Serena woke up again, she must have fallen back asleep... she checked the time on her phone... 1.17pm and listened out for Bernie... she could hear someone pottering around in the lounge and got up to see her. "Hi...." she went over to Bernie and cuddled her. Bernie wrapped her arms round her and held her tightly... "Did you get some sleep...?" Serena nodded and held her tighter... "Did you see Ric...?" Bernie nodded and told her that he had agreed to her having until Tuesday off. Serena smiled and whispered 'Thank you' into Bernie's hair. She went to sit on the sofa while Bernie made them some cups of tea.

"I saw Fletch.... and he sends his love to you..." Serena managed another half smile. "He would really like to bring Evie round to see you later today... he said they wouldn't stay long...what do you think....? He said he can't come to the funeral tomorrow as he is working and Evie is at school but apparently she is desperate to see you."

Serena thought for a minute and agreed that yes Evie and Fletch could come round about 5pm for a brief visit. They talked about the plan for the rest of the day and agreed to have some lunch at Bernie's and then head to Serena's mid afternoon.

Serena sent a text to Jason seeing how he was and letting him know that they would be back about 3pm. Bernie sent Fletch a text saying that Serena would like to see him and Evie about 5pm if they would like to go round then. She got an immediate reply with a smiley face, she knew Serena thought a lot of Evie and they got on very well... maybe it would cheer her up.

Bernie made them both some sandwiches and tidied round packing some stuff for her to take to Serena's... she planned on staying there for a few days so changed clothes over and made sure she had got everything she needed. Serena lay on the sofa after finishing her lunch and closed her eyes... she felt tired... drained but not knowing what to do with herself. She watched Bernie pottering round and found it comforting. She was still wearing Bernie's jumpers and Bernie threw her a clean one to wear after she had had a shower which was lovely of her Serena thought... she didn't know how long this would go on but for the moment it was a huge comfort.

She used Bernie's shower and let the hot water cascade over her head...she was feeling really quite low. She dried herself in the bathroom and went into Bernie's bedroom sitting down on the bed wrapped in a green towel of Bernie's. Bernie stopped what she was doing and came over to Serena taking both of her hands in her own... "Are you ok...." she knew this was a stupid question but was concerned about Serena.

Serena just held her arms up for a cuddle not bothered that the towel had slipped down... she just wanted to feel Bernie's arms around her. Bernie pulled Serena's towel back up around her in a comforting way and held her tightly... "Can I get you anything...." Serena shook her head and whispered... "Just you...."

It was about an hour later when they arrived at Serena's and went inside... Jason was heading upstairs and came to greet them both smiling. He looked really pleased to see them and gave Serena a brief hug. He could see she had been crying as her eyes looked sore and puffy. He went to make them some coffee's and sat at the kitchen table to catch up with them both.

Bernie asked Jason if he had had a nice time with Celia and he nodded. Celia had left about twenty minutes ago and he was just going to relax and watch some TV.

Bernie suggested that Serena had a rest on the bed upstairs before Fletch and Evie's visit later and she nodded gratefully. "Will you come up too...?" Bernie nodded and said she would be up shortly. She tidied round a bit and put some laundry on for them before heading up to Serena's room. Serena was already in bed in her silk pyjama bottoms and Bernie's jumper. Bernie used the bathroom and by the time she came back through to the bedroom Serena was asleep snoring softly. Bernie got under the covers and cuddled up to her for a bit... she took the opportunity to have a rest... tiredness came over her and she knew tomorrow would be a draining day so they needed to rest for that.

Bernie's alarm went off at 4.45pm and she carefully woke Serena up. "Hi..... Fletch and Evie will be here soon..." Serena nodded sleepily and cuddled Bernie briefly before getting up and using the bathroom. Bernie suggested that Serena should see them both on her own and she would spend some time with Jason. Serena looked a bit anxious but nodded. "I will be just up here... if you need anything..." Bernie reached for her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Bernie knocked on Jason's bedroom door while Serena made herself look a bit more presentable... "Come in..." she heard Jason call and she pushed open his door. "Hello Bernie..." he looked pleased to see her. "Jason... how are you feeling...?". He said he felt better and asked her if she would like to watch some TV with him. She nodded and went to sit on his bed with him. He wanted to watch a documentary about the second world war which he knew Bernie would be interested in too. They sat quietly... content to be in each others company for a bit.

Serena went downstairs and looked in the hall mirror... she had put some make up on for the first time in days and felt a bit more like herself even though her heart hurt. This ache had been there since Elinor had died and she wondered whether it would always be there now...

There was a knock at the door and Serena answered it seeing Fletch and Evie stood there with some peach roses for her. She smiled at Evie and Fletch gave her a hug... "Hi....."

"Come in...." Serena realised how chilly it was. Evie gave her the flowers and gave Serena a tight hug... "I'm so sorry Serena..." Serena held her tightly and thanked her for the lovely flowers. "Evie used her pocket money to get those for you..." Evie blushed and they all went through to Serena's kitchen.

Serena made Fletch a cup of tea and made a strawberry milkshake for Evie. They sat chatting for a bit with Evie perched on Serena's lap. Serena was surprised by this as she thought it wouldn't be 'cool' for Evie to want to do this but Evie wanted to be close to her and she thought that was sweet. Evie asked about the funeral and Serena mentioned that it was tomorrow. Evie was really sorry that she would be at school and wouldn't be able to go... "Dad's working too... will you have Bernie there... and Jason with you...?" Serena nodded and managed a half smile.

Serena asked Evie about school and Evie filled her in on what had been happening since they had last seen each other. "Can I come and see you again soon...?" Evie gave her another tight hug and Serena nodded... "I would like that... thank you". Fletch kissed her on her cheek and hoped that she got through tomorrow ok... "I will be thinking of you... got to keep AAU running... you know" he smiled at her and she touched his arm thanking him.

Bernie came downstairs after hearing the front door close... Serena went to hug her tightly... "Did you enjoy seeing them...?" Serena nodded and showed her the flowers that Evie had brought for her. Bernie smiled and said they were beautiful. They held hands walking to the kitchen as Bernie sorted the laundry out from earlier and Serena put some of the cakes that Bernie had bought this morning onto three plates to have with a cup of tea.

They went into the lounge and Jason came downstairs to join them. They relaxed for a bit before Bernie started on dinner with Jason's help. She was making a chicken curry and he happily cut up the chicken and wanted to learn how to cook the rice which Bernie showed him how to do.

Serena went and sat in Elinor's room while they were cooking... what was she going to do with her things? Maybe she should have asked Evie if she had wanted anything... perhaps she could do that next week or the week after... there wasn't any rush.

She lay down on the bed and felt her eyes brim with tears... tomorrow was going to be so difficult... how on earth was she going to get through it...


	62. Friday - Elinor's Funeral

Serena sat in the garden on one of the wooden chairs at the table. She was drinking a cup of coffee and staring at the sky.... taking deep breaths... in two and a half hours time she would be at her daughter's funeral.

She heard the patio door open and Jason appeared looking at her puzzled... "What are you doing out here Auntie Serena, it's cold". Serena shrugged her shoulders not really knowing what to say. Jason sat down on one of the other chairs and asked her where Bernie was. Serena said she was still in bed and Jason asked her what would be happening at the funeral today. He had only been to his mum's before and that had been a religious funeral whereas Edward and Serena had chosen a humanist service for Elinor.

Serena explained what she thought would happen to him so he would be prepared. She had planned it with Edward but at the time had felt fairly numb so hadn't taken in the finer details. "Will I meet your ex-husband then today?" Jason was very to the point and Serena nodded at him. Jason wasn't looking forward to that or any of it... he didn't really know what to expect but mentioned that Bernie had said he could sit by her. Serena managed to smile at him slightly and touched his arm... "Bernie will look after you... i'm sure and Charlotte will be there too... you like her don't you". Jason nodded and left to go back into the house. Serena sighed deeply... she wasn't really up to taking care of Jason today or listening to his worries... she knew that sounded harsh but it was enough at the moment just to keep herself going.

She listened to the birds and closed her eyes... she was then aware of Bernie coming outside. "Hi.... would you like another coffee...?" Serena shook her head but reached out her hand to Bernie and Bernie came to give her a cuddle. "What time do we need to leave...?" Serena looked at her phone that was on the table and thought they should go to Edward's in about an hour and a half. "I'm sorry... you know... that you will need to come to his house..." Serena stroked Bernie's cheek and was so grateful for all the support Bernie had given her, she felt totally cared for and loved. Bernie kissed her on the head gently and said it was all fine.

"Would you like the shower first...?" Bernie was happy to fit round Serena and Serena got up to head upstairs. Bernie pulled her into a gentle kiss as she passed her and whispered... "I am here for you today... whatever you need..." Serena kissed her back and spoke softly... "Thank you.... for everything".

Jason was all ready and was sitting in the lounge waiting for Serena and Bernie, he didn't feel like watching TV he was just... thinking and felt very anxious. Bernie came down and saw he was looking upset... she was all ready and sat with him trying to comfort him and reassure him that they would get through it. He leant his head on her shoulder and she saw a tear trickle down his cheek... "Jason....." she put her arm round his shoulder and tried to make him feel better. "I feel so sad for Auntie Serena today..." he didn't know what to do or say really...

It was time to leave and Bernie went upstairs to find Serena... she was ready and checking herself in the bedroom mirror. "Are you... ready...?" Bernie went over to her and put her arms round her waist. "You look... really lovely..." she kissed her cheek and Serena squeezed her hand... "So do you..."

They drove to Edward's house in Bernie's car where the funeral cars where going from to a small crematorium that Edward had used before and thought would be nice as it was in the middle of some woods and very peaceful.

When they got to the house Liberty came out to see them. "Edward is still getting ready... he is finding this so difficult". Bernie introduced herself properly and Liberty nodded knowing who she was. She said hello to Jason and he just nodded standing close to Bernie.

Serena didn't speak she felt too numb. Bernie reached for her hand and Serena took it lovingly, stroking over Bernie's fingers which seemed to comfort her briefly.

Edward appeared and Bernie went over to him with Jason... "Hi... Edward... this is Jason..." Edward shook his hand and looked over at Serena who was stood by the road looking for the funeral cars. "She is very.... you know... today..." Bernie whispered and Edward just nodded. They all stood in silence as the cars approached and Bernie went back to Serena's side holding her hand tightly.

Edward and Liberty went in the first car and Serena, Bernie and Jason in the second following the hearse to the crematorium. Serena gripped Bernie's hand tightly and felt tears fall down her cheeks... Jason offered her a tissue and she gratefully took it looking out the window to try to pull herself together.

When they arrived they could see family and friends through in the waiting area. Serena felt herself start to sob quietly... she couldn't face this but Bernie whispered... "Deep breaths... you can do this... I love you". Serena nodded still gripping her hand. Jason could see Charlotte and went to stand with her while Bernie stood by Serena's side. She looked round briefly and could see Raf, Ric, Jasmine and Morven from the hospital, she nodded to them and they smiled back.

Edward lead the way to the front seats through in the room where the service was being held and Liberty followed... then Serena, Bernie and Jason. Charlotte managed to catch up to her mum before sitting behind them and kissed her cheek... "Hi... mum" Bernie smiled at her and thanked her for coming. Charlotte also touched Serena on the shoulder and said she was here for her too. Serena touched her hand back and thanked her for being there.

The rest of the family and friends came into the room and some music started to play... Bernie wasn't sure what it was... it sounded like an instrumental version of a pop song. Liberty whispered that it was a U2 song that Elinor always loved that Edward had picked and Serena leant her head on Bernie's shoulder. For the first time she saw the flowers she had picked with Bernie on top of the coffin and around the room... they did look lovely. Bernie squeezed her hand and whispered again... "Deep breaths..."

The service started and the celebrant spoke about Elinor as a person, Serena didn't let go of Bernie's hand and the whole thing was a bit of a blur, the next thing she knew Edward was speaking to everyone about his daughter. They had agreed when planning the service that he would speak and Serena thought it was actually very brave of him, she couldn't do it...

Elinor's best friend from university said a few words and then there was a quiet moment when some more music was played... this time Serena recognised it as a Whitney Houston song but an instrumental version. She suddenly realised what it was and tears started streaming down her cheeks... I Will Always Love You. Bernie gripped her hand tighter and Serena sobbed loudly burying her face into Bernie's chest. Bernie stroked her back lovingly and held her... she didn't care who was looking.

People started to file out of the room until only Serena, Bernie, Edward and Liberty were left. Liberty was crying and Edward was just sat staring at the coffin looking stunned not taking in this was really happening. Serena got up and went over to the coffin. Bernie stayed where she was sitting in the front row, she knew she should give Serena a moment and sat quietly.

Liberty came and sat down by her and leant her head on her shoulder which Bernie found strange and awkward. She sat there not knowing what to do until Edward came over and took Liberty's hands pulling her up. They left the room and it was then just Serena and Bernie in the room. Serena sank down onto the floor slowly and cried. Bernie then went over to her and sat down with her... "Take your time... sweetheart..." she held her hand and kissed her hair.

"Everybody's waiting..." Serena sobbed.... "Who cares... this is important... take your time". They sat holding hands and Jason appeared looking for them. Charlotte followed him and they went to sit by Serena and Bernie on the floor. "The cars are ready...." Charlotte whispered and Bernie got up... "Ok... thank you... i'm sure they can wait".

Jason didn't want to go to the pub afterwards so Charlotte offered to take him to Bernie's flat for a bit. Bernie nodded smiling and gave her the key which was in her bag... "Thank you... that's very kind". Charlotte said it was no trouble at all and they left together... Jason giving Serena a hug before they went.

Bernie put her arm around Serena... "Are you ready... to go to the pub...?" Serena said she really didn't feel like it but they should really go for a bit. Bernie nodded and held her hand as they walked to the car... on the way Bernie picked up some of the flowers to bring with them... "For your kitchen... they are so beautiful..." Serena squeezed her hand and they sat quietly on the journey to the pub that had been chosen.

Serena stood outside with Bernie... "I can't go in..." she was trembling a little and Bernie held her tightly... "Deep breaths... we only have to stay for half an hour... ok then I'll take you home..." Serena nodded and Bernie opened the door for her to go through. The pub was busy and people were chatting but quietly out of respect. Bernie saw Raf straight away and he came to give Serena a hug. He held her tightly and also gave Bernie a kiss on the cheek.

"I can't stay... got to get back to work but I wanted to see you..." Serena touched his arm and thanked him for coming... "See you Tuesday... Bernie..." Bernie nodded and thanked him as well. They got some glasses of wine and Serena saw some of her relatives that she hadn't seen for a while. They had made the effort to come even though some of them lived quite a way away. Serena introduced Bernie straight away as her partner and Bernie felt so proud of her... and proud to be with her.

Edward came over to check on Serena and Bernie stayed by her side. Serena managed a brief hug with Edward which felt uncomfortable for Bernie but she didn't let Serena see this she stood by her the whole time and happily held her hand when Serena reached for her.

When people started to leave they had something to eat and sat for a while just quietly. After only thinking they would stay for a bit they ended up staying until the end... people had travelled to be there and Serena thought it was only polite that she spoke to people... they expected her to be upset and also she got to introduce Bernie officially to people. This had felt natural and not awkward at all... how could it feel awkward when Bernie was everything to her and her rock at this awful time... she was so proud to be her partner and couldn't be more in love with her...


	63. Saturday

Bernie woke to find Serena cuddled up to her, her arm across her stomach and her head resting on her chest. She smiled down at her... never quite believing that this was all still real and she was with Serena Campbell.

She thought back to yesterday and how heartbreaking it had been. She felt numb herself and wondered what the day had in store... they hadn't made any plans. She lifted Serena gently off her and got up to go and make some breakfast as she was feeling pretty hungry. She found Jason downstairs sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal and drinking a cup of tea. She smiled at him... "Good morning Bernie, how are you?" Jason looked up at her.

Bernie said she was ok just a bit tired after yesterday's ordeal. Jason nodded... "I know, it was really sad". "How are you feeling... Jason... how's the recovery generally?" Jason explained that he was feeling much better in himself but still taking some painkillers for his shoulder and arm that had been hit directly by the car. Bernie nodded and said she would take a look at it today just to check on it for him.

Jason asked after Serena and what they were planning on doing today. Bernie shrugged and said that they didn't have any plans... a low key day... after yesterday.

Jason asked her if she would like to go to the library with him to get out for a bit. He thought Serena would want to stay at home and Bernie nodded saying she would have to check with her first that she didn't want to do anything but it should be fine. Jason smiled... he wanted to get some more books to read and he wanted to get some cookery books... he was hoping to make dinner for them both this evening... he thought it would be a nice thing to do. Bernie smiled at him... "That would be lovely... I know Serena would love that Jason."

Serena appeared in her pyjamas and silk robe as Bernie was making some coffee. "Hi...." Bernie held her hand out to Serena and she came straight over cuddling into Bernie and reaching to stroke her face. "How... are you... did you get any sleep... you were restless..."

"Sorry..." Serena pulled Bernie in tighter and kissed her on the cheek. Jason had finished his breakfast now and asked Serena what she was doing today... he was wanting to know if Bernie could go to the library with him. Bernie gave Serena an 'I'm sorry' look and Serena managed to give her a slight smile. "It's ok.... you two go out... i'm not really in the frame of mind to do anything today... i'm going back to bed for a bit..."

She took a cup of coffee that Bernie had made for her and before leaving the kitchen kissed Bernie gently on the lips. Bernie followed her upstairs and to the bedroom. "I don't have to go out... would you like me to stay here... I don't mind you know... or if you would like some time to yourself...?" Serena explained that she didn't really know what she wanted or how she felt at the moment. Any decision seemed really difficult to think about no matter how trivial.

"It's fine for you to take Jason out... I would appreciate that... as long as you come back to me later..." she nuzzled into Bernie's neck and reached to grasp her hand. Bernie nodded and planted a kiss in her hair... "Of course.... you rest... you must feel totally exhausted... Jason is making dinner for us later..." Serena rolled her eyes thinking about what they were in for.

Bernie reassured her that he wanted to get some cookery books out of the library and she would oversee the dinner! Serena hugged her tightly and got under the covers in bed while Bernie used the shower.

When Bernie appeared from the en suite ten minutes later in a towel Serena was fast asleep in her robe under the sheets. Bernie thought she looked tired, pale but beautiful of course. She got dressed quietly and left Serena a note by the bed before leaving to head out with Jason.

When they got to the library in town Jason headed straight for the history section first. Bernie couldn't remember the last time she had been in a library... maybe when the children where small... she had loved reading so much years ago but had just been so busy she hadn't thought about it much in a while until Jason had got her some books for Christmas. She had finished two of them over the festive break and had enjoyed getting back into reading.

She followed Jason to look at the history books and there was a military section next to it... she flicked through a couple of interesting books and Jason was so enthusiastic about some of the books he had found it melted her heart a little. She left him to browse while she found the psychology section to have a look... maybe there was something to help cope with grief... or helping someone through bereavement. She knew the basics of course of helping someone but this was important for her to support Serena appropriately and she didn't want to get it wrong. She found something that may be quite helpful and asked a member of staff if she could join the library so she could take some of the books out...

Jason found her with a pile of books and he had quite a few himself, he was now looking for the cookery section and Bernie helped him choose a couple of books with recipes they all may like. Jason smiled at her and said this was fun... maybe they could come together again... Bernie nodded she would like that. She preferred the feel of an actual book in her hand compared to just using technology for everything.

When they had got out the books they wanted they went to have a hot chocolate in the coffee shop. Jason got the drinks which Bernie thought was nice of him and they chatted effortlessly... Bernie asked him how things were going with Celia and Jason said they were going fine but he was getting worried about something...

Bernie looked concerned and asked if it was something she could help him with. He looked at her and whispered that it was about sex...

Bernie gulped subtly and said that maybe he should talk to Serena about it but if he wanted to he could ask her... she felt awkward but didn't want to be unkind.

Jason said he would actually prefer to talk about it with her and Bernie nodded slowly... they were sat in a quiet corner where no one would be able to hear them... "I haven't slept with Celia yet, but I want to..." Jason said very matter of fact but in a whisper. Bernie gulped again and nodded... "So you want to... does she want to...?" Jason shrugged his shoulders... "I think so but may be not yet.... but I don't know what to do.... I haven't had sex before".

Bernie wasn't sure what to say... she was no expert but he was obviously thinking about this and getting anxious. "Does Celia know you want to...." Jason nodded and said he had said to her that he would wait until she was ready.... this may be at any time though and he wanted to feel prepared. "I don't want to talk about this with Auntie Serena...." he was talking quieter now and Bernie reassured him that he could talk to her.

"Bernie... you know what girls like... I know you do and well...." Bernie smiled at him and said that when Celia felt ready it was important to make her feel special and loved. "I do love Celia" he was nodding. She wished Cam was around to talk to Jason, she did feel awkward... Jason hadn't had a father around growing up and his mum had died... what about Alan... ah.... there... "What about talking to Alan about it Jason... you know from a man's perspective...?"

Jason shrugged his shoulders... "Yes... maybe... I guess I wanted your take on things..." Bernie could feel herself blushing but she was an adult and so was Jason. She explained some of the ins and outs of what women tend to like and Jason was going red... his mouth slightly open. They finished their drinks and headed back to Bernie's car with their books. Jason was very quiet on the way back to Serena's and Bernie checked he was ok... "Yes... it's just... now I am scared I will get it wrong..."

Bernie smiled at him... "Please don't worry... it is never perfect and it is about finding out what you both like... you kind of figure it out together... everyone is different... Jason... Celia will just want to feel loved and that she is special to you". Jason thanked her and said that was good advice, Bernie was proud of herself... that was awkward but she had tried to help...

When they got back there was no sign of Serena. Jason was going to walk to the shop to get the dinner things... he was going to make a pasta dish from one of the books and Bernie said she would see him in a bit.

She went upstairs quietly and saw that Serena was awake but in bed... she was in clean pyjamas and had a bath a bit earlier. Bernie kissed her and cuddled up to her... "You will never guess what conversation I have been having with Jason..." she whispered quietly... "I won't say exactly what we talked about but he asked me about sex and well... what girls like". Serena looked at her raising her right eyebrow... "I'm sure you gave him... excellent advice... Bernie"

Bernie smirked at her... "Oh really... you think i'm... excellent...?" she was nuzzling up to Serena's cheek now and kissing her neck softly forgetting for a second that this wasn't appropriate at the moment and stopped abruptly. "What is it....?" Serena turned her face to look at her intensely... "Sorry... I shouldn't be... you know... it's not right..." Bernie pulled away and Serena looked disappointed.

"I actually really would like to... touch you... a lot" Serena whispered into Bernie's ear and pulled her closer. "Serena... no... you shouldn't... I know how you must be feeling today..." Bernie was looking at her with such concern and Serena actually felt an ache to touch Bernie, she needed to feel her closer...

"I don't want... myself but I would really like to touch you... will you let me..." she wasn't waiting for an answer... she was kissing Bernie firmly on the lips now and gently sliding her hand down the waistband of Bernie's black skinny jeans. Bernie looked at her again... "What are you doing.... Serena..."

"Just let me Bernie... please... I need to be closer to you... it would comfort me..." Bernie was nodding and looking deeply into Serena's eyes stroking her hair while Serena worked her way into Bernie's underwear...

Bernie collapsed under the sheets, her face red and feeling well... release... emotions... guilt... love... a mixture of lots of things all at once. Serena had just.... to her and she was feeling awful and amazing at the same time. Serena was extremely good at getting her there and knew what she liked...

Serena was gazing at her and snuggled into her neck... "I love you... Bernie"

"I love you too...." Bernie kissed her gently and stroked her face...

They dozed for a bit cuddled up together and Serena heard a gentle tap at the bedroom door which woke her fully... "Auntie Serena and Bernie... tea will be ready in ten minutes..."

"Thank you Jason, we'll be right down..." Serena kissed Bernie awake and Bernie gazed into her eyes... "You are so beautiful... and amazing" Serena blushed and kissed her on the forehead. "Our tea is ready apparently... I wonder what we are having...?" her eyebrow raised at Bernie and she chuckled... "Some sort of pasta dish I think..." Serena pulled her out of bed by the hand and Bernie pulled her into a tight embrace... "I will get us through this... I promise... you have me... always... Serena..."

Serena smiled at her... "I really do need you... so so much... I want you too... always..."


	64. Sunday

Serena gradually woke laying by Bernie's side, Bernie was dozing but opened her eyes when she felt Serena move next to her and looked into her eyes... "Hi.... did you sleep any better...?" Serena nodded... she had actually slept for a good few hours without waking which was a vast improvement. They snuggled together, Serena moving her head onto Bernie's chest gently and Bernie's arm round her shoulders holding her tightly...

Bernie checked the time on her phone... 10.06am, she could hear Jason pottering around upstairs and saw that she had a text from Raf... she moved her arm from around Serena so she could use both hands on her phone... 'Hey Bernie, I hope Serena is doing ok, would like to pop round and see her today for a brief visit, could you ask her if she would like that please? I can bring Evie, she wants to see Serena again. Don't want to push it if Serena is tired or not up to visitors though, would you ask her? Thanks, Raf'

Bernie read the text to Serena who managed a half smile. She said that was fine and suggested 2pm then she had time to get up leisurely and not rush.

Bernie typed a reply to Raf and got a message straight back suggesting that as he was coming round and could spend time with Serena... and Jason she should take a break... he was more or less insisting this gathering how tired she must be. She typed another text back thanking him, she liked Raf a lot.

Serena went downstairs in her pyjamas and saw Jason in the lounge watching TV, he was dressed in his casual clothes. "Good morning... Jason" Serena went to sit by him on the sofa. He leant his head on her shoulder and touched her arm. He asked how she was feeling and she managed a bit of a smile, she knew she had been distant from him lately and wanted him to feel secure with her still. She went to make them some cups of tea and toast in the kitchen and Bernie came down to join them.

"Jason.... Raf and Evie are coming round this afternoon for a while" Jason nodded slowly and continued to watch his TV show. He asked Bernie what she was doing and she said she had some things to sort out at her flat. Jason was wanting to go with her but Serena kindly put him off, knowing that Bernie needed a bit of a rest and space from everything.... even just for an afternoon. Bernie smiled at her and her stomach flipped... even when things were this awful a look or smile from Bernie did things to her...

They left Jason watching Doctor Who and went back upstairs together... "Will you be ok this afternoon... you know if I am out...?" Bernie reached for Serena's hand and Serena squeezed it tightly... "Yes.... you need a break... you have been so wonderful... get some rest and then please come back to me later...". Bernie kissed her gently and nodded. She sat on the bed while Serena took a shower. She reached to pick up one of the library books from her bag and flicked through it... it was the book about helping someone through bereavement... it looked interesting and it couldn't hurt to take a read later... she put it back in her bag to take this afternoon.

Serena came out of the en suite in her underwear with a pale pink towel wrapped round her. Bernie gathered some of her own belongings up to put in her bag while Serena got dressed. "I think I will wear my own top today...." Serena managed a smile at Bernie and Bernie came to her side to squeeze her tightly... "You don't have to.... Serena..." Serena looked in her closet still holding onto Bernie's hand. "Look.... I have plenty of nice clothes myself... I need to get back to some sort of normality even it is is extremely difficult..." Bernie helped her pick a vest and cardigan slipping her arms round Serena's waist. Serena held onto her arms and they stayed like that for a few minutes before Bernie went to use the shower.

When Bernie came back into the bedroom Serena was sat on the bed dressed and looking lovely... Bernie told her she looked gorgeous and Serena blushed slightly watching Bernie get dressed out of the corner of her eye while looking through some post that had accumulated over the last week.

Bernie pulled her jacket on, finished the last dregs of her cup of tea and kissed Serena firmly before heading downstairs. She said goodbye to Jason who looked anxious about her leaving. She gave him a brief hug and said she would be back later... Jason nodded and thought ahead to hanging out with Raf this afternoon for a bit who he liked.

Serena and Jason had some mushroom soup for lunch and chatted about how Jason was feeling now during his recovery. He said that Bernie had checked his arm and shoulder last night and it was on the mend but he was still taking the odd painkiller. Serena nodded and said he was doing well, they sat quietly.... Jason not knowing really what to say.

Bernie got in to her flat and let out a deep breath... she didn't realise how much she needed a break from everything... especially emotionally. She picked up the pile of post and takeaway flyers from the mat and went through to the lounge to put the heating on. Everywhere was fairly tidy so she put some laundry on and sorted out her bag.

She noticed a tenancy renewal letter asking her if she wanted to renew for another two months. Her landlord did two months at a time and it didn't take her long to have emailed her letting agent to agree to another two months. She absolutely wanted to move in with Serena at some point but now was not the time and even if Serena had asked her she would have said no right now. It was necessary to have a bit of space for both of them if needed at this moment in time with everything that had happened. Maybe in a few months when everything wasn't so raw, she would like nothing more...

At 2.10pm Serena opened the front door to see Raf and Evie standing there. Evie had bought her some chocolates this time and Serena felt her heart melt. "Hi... Serena" Evie put her arms round Serena's waist and Serena held her tightly. "It's lovely to see you both.... come in" Raf gave Serena a tight hug and they went through to the kitchen.

Jason called hello through to them... he was still in the lounge. Serena made some coffee's, tea for Jason and a milkshake for Evie. They went through to the lounge where Jason turned the TV off. Raf went to sit next to him on the sofa and they chatted.

Serena sat with Evie on the other sofa and Evie asked her how she was doing. Serena told her it was very difficult and she still had Elinor's room to sort out. "She has some nice things in there.... would you like to come and take a look.... you would be welcome to some of her things..." Serena looked away trying not to let tears fall from her eyelashes. Evie saw this and reached for Serena's hand.

Jason and Raf settled to watch some of World's Strongest Man. Raf was happy to keep Jason occupied while Serena went upstairs with Evie, he said that he would have a drink with Serena later. She nodded and smiled at him and went upstairs with Evie to Elinor's bedroom.

Serena sat on Elinor's bed and let Evie have a look around. Evie liked the bedroom very much and asked whether this had been Elinor's bedroom when she was her age. Serena nodded and sat back against the wall. Evie asked if she could help sort some of things and Serena agreed... Evie found a silver necklace on the desk and asked Serena about it. Serena said Edward had bought it and Elinor had left it there since Christmas... she wasn't sure why. Evie looked at it closely and saw on the chain was a small dragonfly. Serena said she could have it if she liked it and Evie smiled at her.... "Serena... I don't have to take any of her things... I am happy to help you go through bits... you know..."

Serena nodded and said she would like Evie to have the necklace. She also offered Evie Elinor's ipod. "I'm not sure it will have your sort of music on it but.... you could always delete the music and keep the ipod for your own songs... you know... if you want to...?" Evie went and sat on the bed next to Serena and leant her head on her shoulder... "You are so very kind... thank you... if you are sure...?" Serena nodded, resting her head on top of Evie's lightly. "I am sure... anything else you would like...?" Serena knew that Evie didn't have many nice things of her own as Fletch never had any spare money so she was happy for Evie to pick some nice things of Elinor's.

Evie also chose some of Elinor's accessories that were in her wardrobe... she had some bags and scarves which Evie liked which Serena said she could take. They chatted while sorting and Evie felt tears trickling down her cheeks. Serena noticed and asked her if she was ok. Evie nodded and just said that she felt so sad for her. Serena went quiet and took a moment to go to the bathroom. She missed Bernie and felt a tightness in her chest. She didn't want to text her.... she wanted Bernie to have a break but she did miss her badly.

Jason went up to his bedroom to rest when Serena and Evie came back downstairs. Serena made everyone some more drinks and Evie was happy to watch TV in the lounge and wait for Raf while he had a drink with Serena in the kitchen. She was happily listening to Elinor's ipod and liked some of the music on it.

Serena poured them some wine to have a drink together. Raf said he just wanted one as he was driving and Serena nodded.

Bernie had fallen asleep on the sofa, one minute she was reading and drinking a cup of tea and the next it had gone darker and she didn't know what time it was or where she was for a moment. She suddenly remembered she was at her flat and relaxed knowing that she could stay for a bit longer to have a rest. Tiredness had crept up on her over the last week and she felt mentally drained from trying to be strong for everyone. She picked up the book she was reading again about supporting someone through bereavement and thought the advice was good... she tried to take it in and remember the specifics of things to help...

Raf and Serena chatted in the kitchen... he wanted her to know how much he cared about her and anything she needed he would be happy to do. She reached for his arm and touched it thanking him. "I know you have.... Bernie... just remember you have a lot of friends on AAU too who would do whatever you wanted that would help". She nodded and said she felt very lucky to have a lot of support. She wanted to know how things were going with him and Essie and he filled her in without going into too much detail, it wasn't the right time.

The conversation turned to Bernie... "She really has been incredible to me...." Serena was blushing and thinking of how Bernie had been totally there for her every step of the way since Elinor's death. Raf nodded... "She loves you very much... that's obvious" Serena smiled... "I don't know why...."

Raf reached for her arm and touched it... "She loved you.... before any of this happened... when you love someone... you would do anything for them". Serena nodded and they settled into chatting about Jason then. Raf wanted to know how he was doing recovery wise and Serena said that he seemed to be doing well... "Bernie has been amazing with him..." Raf nodded... fully aware of this as when he had chatted with Jason while watching TV with him Jason had talked non stop about Bernie and how kind she was. It was obvious that he adored her and they were close.

Raf and Evie left at around 4pm... Evie gave Serena a tight hug and thanked her again for the things she had given her. She showed Raf the ipod and Raf said she was a lucky girl... Serena smiled and gave Raf a hug before watching them get into Raf's car and head off.

Jason was still upstairs in his bedroom and Serena's thoughts turned to Bernie. When was she coming back.... she knew she wanted to let Bernie have a break but she was missing her. She went into the kitchen to clear away the glasses and mugs and took some fruit to eat upstairs with her. She had found going through some of Elinor's things very difficult and tiring but had made a start... she had enjoyed seeing Evie and allowing her to take some things of Elinor's that would be loved.

As she sat on the bed she heard a key in the lock... it must be Bernie... she had the spare key now for keeps and she felt herself rushing downstairs to see her. Bernie was wrapped up in her jacket and had her holdall on her as well as a shopping bag. Serena threw her arms around her neck and pulled her to her tightly. "I missed you...." Bernie kissed her hair and held her tightly back. "Missed you too... how were Raf and Evie...?" Serena went through to the kitchen with her and chatted about how things had gone, she had enjoyed seeing them and it had given her pleasure to give some of Elinor's things to Evie who didn't have very much. Bernie nodded... "That was very kind of you... must have been so difficult..." Serena nodded and went to make Bernie a coffee.

"I got us some bits to last until tomorrow, thought we could get a takeaway tonight...what do you think...?" Serena nodded and they reached for each others hands at the same time. "You are staying.... with me... for the next few days...?" Serena looked at Bernie with a hopeful expression that made Bernie's heart melt.

"Of course I am... you know... if you want me too". Serena kissed her intensely and she felt better now Bernie was back... she always did.


	65. Monday

It was mid morning and Bernie was making a late breakfast in the kitchen. Jason was already up and had eaten... he was on his laptop in the lounge looking for something to do with Celia today.

Bernie bought him in a cup of tea and he smiled at her... "Thank you Bernie". She nodded and asked him if he had decided on what to do. He shook his head... it couldn't be too much for him... he was still recovering from the accident but he was aware that it would be nice for them both to do something nice together... Celia had today off work. Bernie left him to think and went back to the kitchen to collect the breakfast tray she had made of fresh fruit juices, coffee and pastries.

Serena was awake when she went into the bedroom and smiled at her... "Good morning..." Bernie put the tray on the dresser and leant to give her a kiss. "How did you sleep...?" Serena nodded that it was improving slightly. Bernie squeezed her hand and fetched the tray for them to share on top of the sheets.

They sat quietly and Bernie asked her if there was anything she would like to do today... Serena hadn't really thought... she was taking one day at a time and not thinking beyond that at the moment... it was the only way to get through it.

Bernie had been up late reading the bereavement support book last night and suggested they go for a walk today in the park they had been to a few weeks ago. She had remembered it had said in the book that walking helped some people and being in nature, it was worth a try and would be something nice and low key they could do together.

Serena smiled at her and said that was a lovely idea, the weather was meant to be fine today and it would do her good to clear her head.

Bernie mentioned that she had seen Jason downstairs and he was doing something with Celia today but she didn't know what... "I think they may stay here tonight... would you like to stay at mine...?" Serena touched Bernie's thigh affectionately and nodded "Thank you... that sounds lovely..." Bernie said she would cook and Serena could just relax.

Jason came upstairs and knocked on their bedroom door... "Auntie Serena... Bernie... can I come in please?" Bernie went to open the door and Jason came through standing by the door as Serena was in bed. "I just wanted to tell you that i'm going out now, I am going to the cinema with Celia and then if it's ok with you can she stay here tonight please?"

Serena said that was fine and told him she was staying at Bernie's so they would have the house to themselves. Jason gave Bernie an anxious look and Bernie smiled at him... she knew that may be anytime now they would sleep together and Jason was apprehensive. "You can call either if us anytime though..." Bernie put her hand on his shoulder as she went out of the bedroom and downstairs to take the breakfast tray that was finished with.

Jason went to sit down on the bed next to Serena... "Are you ok... Jason...?" Serena looked concerned. "Yes i'm fine thank you... how are you feeling today?" He looked at her trying to work out if she was feeling better. Serena said she was going for a walk with Bernie today and Jason thought that sounded nice. He hugged her briefly before leaving the bedroom and collecting his bag from his room to head out.

Serena used the shower and got dressed, packing some things into her leather bag as she tidied round. Her mobile rang and she noticed it was Ric... "Hi Ric...."

"Serena.... how are you doing...?" Ric was keeping a check on her every few days which she thought was nice of him, he knew he could be a support to her as he had lost his son some years ago. They chatted for a while and Bernie came through to use the shower trying not to disturb Serena.

When Bernie came out of the en suite in her towel Serena was off the phone and sitting on the bed checking her texts. "That was Ric.... just seeing how I am". Bernie nodded... "That's kind of him... he wants to help you... if he can". Serena nodded and reached her hand out to Bernie, Bernie walked over and pulled Serena gently to her. They kissed and Serena held onto Bernie's waist over the towel leaning her head on Bernie's stomach. "Would you like to get some lunch out...?" Bernie wanted Serena to set the pace and agenda of what she was and wasn't comfortable doing at the moment...

Serena nodded and let Bernie go so she could get ready. She sat back on the bed resting her head against the headboard and watched her get ready... that was comforting.

They headed out in Bernie's car to the park and parked easily. They were both wearing trainers so they could walk comfortably and set off on the same footpath they had walked along last time. It was a little windy but not cold... the leaves were blowing on the trees and it was peaceful. Serena thought this was a good idea and put her arm through Bernie's linking them together while they carried on along the path.

"This was a lovely idea..." Serena kissed Bernie on the cheek and they carried on walking. Bernie blushed slightly and touched her arm... "I got a book out of the library about how to support someone through a bereavement.... and they said walking may help... you know especially in nature..."

Serena's heart melted and she thought that was very sweet of Bernie. They both walked in silence just thinking and experiencing the peace around them... luckily it was a quiet day.

They reached the bench they had sat on last time and sat together... Serena leant her head on Bernie's shoulder and a tear trickled down her face.... "Are you ok....?" Bernie whispered into her hair. Serena kissed her shoulder and said it was lovely here. Bernie nodded and pointed out the lake to the side... "Do you fancy having a walk round that with me... you know... when you are ready...?" Serena nodded and held her hand. They weren't used to being affectionate with each other in public but there was no one really around and were comfortable here.

Bernie asked her if she had thought what to do with Elinor's ashes and Serena shook her head... "No... they are in the kitchen at the moment... I think Edward will want some... but we haven't talked about it..."

Bernie offered to contact Edward in the week for her and Serena nodded gratefully... "Thank you... you really are so wonderful..." Bernie blushed and pulled Serena up by the hand... "Come on.... let's have a walk round the lake... it's really lovely..."

They walked in silence completely comfortable with each other. Bernie thought this was really peaceful and she relished the exercise... it made her head clearer. Serena knew that Bernie had slowed her pace so they could walk together which she was grateful for... she wanted to walk until her legs hurt... perhaps then she would actually feel something instead of this numbness that was still there.

When they got back to the car Bernie asked her where she would like to eat and Serena didn't mind. She waited while Bernie checked on her phone where they might go round by the park and they soon found a nice coffee shop nearby. They ate some sandwiches and shared a plate of chips which Serena thought was actually romantic.

"So what else did this book say...." Serena was interested to know what Bernie had been reading. "Well... I haven't got halfway through it yet but it is really for someone supporting someone through bereavement... I wanted to... you know... do things to help you..." Serena reached for her hand under the table and managed a smile... "Thank you".

Bernie smiled at her... she said that patience was the key and taking one day at a time. Serena nodded agreeing that it was the only way of getting through it at the moment. "I am trying to make sure you eat properly and that your sleep is as good as we can make it" Bernie squeezed her hand and Serena nodded... extremely grateful that she had this level of support.

Bernie drove them to her flat and noticed that Serena looked completely exhausted now. She asked if she wanted to lay in bed but Serena was happy to lay on the sofa with Bernie... a blanket and cups of tea. Bernie cuddled her and put the TV on for a bit. She stroked Serena's hair and tried to be as much comfort as possible to her as she was due back at work tomorrow. Serena relaxed and Bernie felt her breathing slow down... Serena was nodding off.

Bernie just held her... she noticed her own phone flash with a text and gently reached to read it... it was Jason, just letting her know that they were back at Serena's now and hoping Serena and Bernie had a nice walk. Bernie smiled at the text and replied, hoping he was having a nice time and told him to try and relax... she pressed send and leant her head lightly on Serena's. This was happiness... she thought... obviously not with what had happened with Elinor but for her... herself... her life was pretty great at the moment... not counting Serena's situation....

She had Serena... the love of her life... her dream job running the trauma unit on AAU with Serena... Cam and Charlotte were back in her life and the relationships between them were vastly improved. Even though Cam had gone to work in London for the time being they were close again and it felt so wonderful.

Bernie knew she would get Serena through this truly awful patch... maybe in a few months they could go on holiday together... their first. Bernie smiled at the thought of this... she loved to travel and the thought of going somewhere and spending time just the two of them would be pure bliss. They would both need a holiday Bernie was sure of it... this was a devastating and testing time.

She held on to Serena and kissed her hair... yes... Bernie was blissfully happy and it felt completely... amazing.


	66. Tuesday (Day of Stick or Twist Episode)

Bernie was having a two minute sit down in the office surrounded by tired looking flowers. God she felt utterly exhausted and drained and was worried about Serena who had insisted on walking back home. Bernie had thought it was too much for her to come in today anyway but late last night Serena had said that she wanted to try going in to keep busy, she had thought she could do some bits of admin quietly in the office... that way she would be near Bernie as well.

Bernie thought back to what had happened a couple of hours earlier when they had arrived outside AAU together and Serena had said she couldn't face it. Bernie felt her stomach lurch... Serena had said she wanted to be on her own... her heart hurt.

She sipped a luke warm coffee that she had left and watched Fletch see to Arty from the window. He seemed obsessed with getting this man the best care possible, he seemed to deeply care about him and Bernie thought it was actually sweet even though she really wasn't in the mood today for any of it or actually being at work, her mind was full of worry for Serena. She checked her phone and.... nothing. She felt she couldn't check on Serena as Serena had said she wanted to be by herself for a bit and Bernie respected that.

She did however text Ric to explain that Serena wasn't in work as she had said she would be and Ric immediately called her. "Ric... hi..." Bernie actually felt relieved to be talking to him. "Bernie... is she ok...?" Ric was concerned and Bernie explained what had happened. Ric sounded apprehensive and offered to call in at the house to check on her which Bernie jumped at... "Oh thank you... yes please... I am worried". He said he would go straight away and keep her updated.

Bernie put her mobile down and checked again for any texts... nothing. She headed back out on to the ward and found Fletch and Arty with a huge bag of money. God this was all she needed... she felt she was a bit sharp with Fletch at times and immediately felt bad, she apologised and he just nodded, he understood why she was so tired and worried at the moment.

Serena was sitting in the lounge with a blanket over her lap. She felt truly awful... the way Bernie had looked at her as she left her standing in the corridor this morning while she walked away to head home was etched in her mind and her heart hurt even more than it did already. She picked up her phone to text her when there was a knock at the door... she thought it might be Bernie and rushed to get it.

"Ric... hi... what are you doing here...?" Serena was suddenly aware that she had her pyjama bottoms on now and one of Bernie's jumpers, she had changed as soon as she had got through the door about an hour ago. "Serena... what happened this morning... are you ok?"

"Have you spoken to Bernie... then?" Serena was looking at him a little unsure of why he was here. "Yes... she was worried about you..."

Serena showed him through to the lounge and sat on the sofa not knowing what to say. "It was far too soon for you to even attempt to come into work...wasn't it..." he touched her arm gently and she nodded. "I thought I wanted some time on my own when I suggested walking back..." she didn't know what else to say.

Ric gave her a gentle smile... "Bernie is just worried about you..." Serena nodded... "I should text her... she offered to bring me home but I said I wanted to be on my own for a bit... I didn't mean it... just a walk sounded good... you know to clear my head a bit".

"Bernie understands this... she just wants to know you are safe and ok... well... as well as you can be..."

Serena made him a coffee and they chatted for a bit. "Is AAU busy today...?" Serena was interested in how her ward was running... it felt like a long time since she was busy running it with Bernie". Ric nodded but said Bernie and Fletch had it covered.

He gave her a kiss on the cheek and said he would call her in a few days... "Please take care... Serena" she nodded and shut the door gently.

Bernie was having a stressful afternoon... this whole business with Arty was proving difficult especially as Fletch was emotionally involved. She felt herself getting exasperated with him and she really didn't mean it.

She had agreed to take Arty in to theatre and was really so sad when it didn't work out well... she felt completely awful for Fletch and just generally downbeat... this day was getting too much. She had to be the one to break it to Fletch that Arty hadn't made it and she could see the pain in his eyes.

Serena went up to bed after Ric had left... she got under the covers and lay on Bernie's pillow trying to find a place where she could smell her perfume faintly... she found a spot and rested her face down breathing in the gorgeous scent that was slightly there. She knew she should text Bernie to reassure her she was ok and typed out a message 'I'm sorry for earlier, the long walk did me good, I miss you, I love you xx' she pressed send and lay down under the sheets hoping to drift off for a bit...

Bernie had a quick sandwich late afternoon and a couple of sips of coffee. She checked her phone and breathed a sigh of relief to see Serena's text. Her heart hurt less now and she decided she would go for a quick drink with Fletch after they had both finished... both could murder one after the day they had had.

They drank to Arty having a whiskey together. Bernie apologised again for being short and sharp with him today... he understood and smiled at her. "It's fine... Bernie... Arty was like my dad... I felt close to him and I will miss him". Bernie reminded him about the money and Fletch shook his head "I can't quite believe it yet... it hasn't sunk in..."

Bernie smiled at him... "It will... you deserve it... Fletch". When he headed for home she drove to Serena's and let herself in with the spare key that was now hers.

Serena came straight through from the lounge to pull her into a tight hug. "I love you...." she whispered into Bernie's hair and Bernie just held onto her tightly. "How are you... feeling...?" Bernie looked at her with care and concern in her eyes.

"A bit better I guess... it was too soon to come into the hospital.... but the walk and seeing Ric helped..." she managed a smile at Bernie and Bernie could smell something cooking. "I have made us dinner... I am sorry for this morning.. I didn't mean to push you away... I just wanted the walk you know... to clear my head" Bernie nodded and held her hand as they walked into the kitchen.

They chatted while Serena finished dinner and she mentioned that Jason was staying at Celia's tonight. Bernie wondered how things were going there... she knew Jason wanted to take their relationship further but also didn't want to rush Celia.

Serena had made a lovely roast dinner... Bernie could tell a lot of effort and gone into it and she smiled at Serena... "Thank you... this is really lovely..." Serena held her hand and stroked over her fingers gently... "I love you so much... Bernie". Bernie told her she loved her too and told Serena about Arty... and Fletch getting the winnings. Serena was so pleased for him... not obviously about Arty's death but because Fletch was always struggling for money and that pressure could be taken off now and he would be able to treat the children. This news really cheered her up... Fletch deserved it.

They cuddled in bed after dinner as it was getting late... Serena stroked over Bernie's stomach lightly and kissed her neck rather sensually... "What are you doing... Serena...?" Bernie touched her arm gently and looked into her eyes. "Just... you know being close to you..." Serena pulled her even closer and their legs were entwined under the covers.

"Can I ask you something...?" Serena was looking into Bernie's eyes still and Bernie felt the intensity of it. "Yes... you know you can..." Bernie stroked along her back and kissed the top of her head lightly... "You know..." Serena stopped and turned her head away.

"Go on..." Bernie encouraged her. "Ok... I was thinking earlier today on my walk... when you had your relationship with... Alex... in the army...was that your first... time with a woman...?" Bernie looked a bit taken a back, this wasn't what she had expected Serena to ask her at this moment in time but it was obviously something that Serena had thought about.

"Umm... yes... I thought I had said it was a while ago..." Bernie stuttered... she didn't like these sort of conversations much. "So you haven't... with any other women..." Serena was looking at her again. Bernie shook her head and kissed Serena gently on the lips. "What about kisses...." Serena was not going to let this go Bernie realised. "What... apart from Alex...?" Bernie wanted to make sure she was answering the right question here. "No I haven't kissed any other women"

"Did you want to... when you were younger...?" Serena was stroking up and down Bernie's arms now and Bernie shivered... that felt really good. "Yes... I did want to..." she kissed Serena again this time more fully... maybe if she kept kissing her she would stop with the questions...

Serena sensed Bernie feeling uncomfortable and pulled away... "I'm sorry" she whispered "It's none of my business..."

Bernie held her hands under the covers and kissed her on the cheek... "Of course it is your business..." Serena took the opportunity again... "So... apart from Marcus... and Alex... have you... with anyone else...?" Bernie looked at her and shook her head...

"No... sex... for me... well... it is really difficult for me to be that vulnerable with someone". Serena nodded and understood. She was waiting for Bernie to ask her something similar but she didn't.

"Don't you want to ask me anything...?" Serena kissed Bernie again on the lips and they continued to hold hands under the sheets. "No... Serena... I don't want to know... if I pretend that I'm the only person you have slept with then I can cope...." she managed a small smile. Serena knew Bernie had a jealous streak and she looked at her lovingly. "Bernie... it's not that bad... really"

"I think.. it would still hurt me..." Bernie absolutely didn't want to know just how many people had had the privilege of seeing Serena Campbell in the buff. Serena nodded understanding... "I think you are thinking it is worse than it is... sex is special to me too you know..." she shrugged and snuggled up to Bernie's chest stroking lightly over her top. "Serena... you are going to have to stop... doing that... it is... you know... very...." Serena nodded pulling her hand away... "I don't mind... you know..."

Bernie kissed her firmly... "I mind.... and you have been very upset today... let me hold you tightly..." Serena nodded and pulled her even closer... "We will have this conversation... again sometime you know..."

Bernie sighed... she knew they would and she would try to put it off as long as possible... as for now... she wanted to be the only one to have been intimate with Serena and like this... talking... laying in each others arms... being vulnerable to each other...


	67. Wednesday

It was 2.15am and Serena was sat in the garden in her silk robe staring at the sky. She couldn't sleep and didn't know what to do with herself... she had untangled herself from Bernie luckily without waking her and needed some air... she felt like she couldn't breathe... the room was closing in on her.

She had quietly gone downstairs, made a cup of tea and sat outside to breathe in the cold air... it filled her lungs as she took some deep breaths...

Serena thought back to the last conversation she had with Elinor... she never did get to know which of those things she had said were true and which were not... Edward had closed her bank account last week and he hadn't said she was in debt but then again she didn't think he would say if she had been...

She looked up at the stars and took some more deep breaths...

Bernie's alarm went off at 7am to get up for work... she didn't want to leave Serena but knew she must go in... she had had a lot of time off as it was and Serena would relax more knowing AAU was running smoothly... Serena was fast asleep on the other side of the bed and Bernie got up trying her hardest not to wake her... she knew she was exhausted.

She used the main bathroom shower this morning and got dressed in there quietly before leaving a note for Serena by the bedside and grabbing a quick flask of coffee and a cereal bar... she didn't want to be late.

Serena woke naturally at around 9am and felt immediately drained... mentally, physically and emotionally. She didn't know what to do with herself today while Bernie was at work and missed her already... she knew it was bordering on pathetic this needy behaviour...

She saw Bernie's note and held it to her chest... 'I love you so much Serena, call me if you need anything, please rest xx'

Serena closed her eyes and turned over in the sheets... perhaps she could get some more sleep...

Jason got up around 10am and couldn't hear Serena up yet... he knew Bernie was at work and checked his phone as he headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast. There was a text from Charlotte... 'Hi Jason, how are you? I am off uni for a few days so if you are up to me popping round at some point let me know, would like to see Serena too, Charlotte x'

Jason smiled, he liked Charlotte and already thought of her as a friend... well even a family friend as she was Bernie's daughter... she reminded him of her and felt comfortable with her. He knew he should check with Serena before replying... knowing she was quite unpredictable at the moment and with Bernie at work perhaps she wouldn't like any visitors...

Bernie took a break at 11am, the ward was busy and she saw Dom briefly for a quick catch up... he was pleased to have her back at work more now and they chatted... comfortable to be themselves with each other... he asked after Serena and thought Bernie looked tired out. She nodded but said she was ok, asking him how he was. She thought he looked stressed and anxious lately and said he could talk to her if he wanted to... he smiled and said he was ok but thanking her for her concern.

Serena came downstairs in her pyjamas at lunchtime to find Jason laying on the sofa watching TV... "Hi... Jason..." she went straight to the kitchen to make some drinks and he followed her in... "How are you, Auntie Serena?" he went over to her and touched her arm lightly. She said she was very tired and missing Bernie... which was true. He told her about Charlotte's text and Serena wasn't sure... Jason looked so eager though so maybe it would be ok... for a bit...

She said he could invite her round at about 4pm so she had time to get up leisurely and he nodded thanking her. She asked him how he was feeling today and he said he felt quite a bit better now. Serena smiled and nodded... pleased he was doing well.

She went to sit back outside in the garden with a coffee and took some more deep breaths... she checked her phone to see a text from Bernie... 'How are you doing today? Thinking of you, miss you xx'

Serena smiled and typed back a text saying that Charlotte was going to come round this afternoon and maybe Bernie would see her when she got home... she was just working standard days at the moment with Raf and Morven doing some overtime to help out.

Bernie was so pleased when she read Serena's text...Charlotte was going round on one of her days off to spend some time with Jason and Serena... that was really nice of her.

The afternoon was a bit quieter and Bernie was able to leave on time... she stopped off at the supermarket on the way to Serena's to pick up some bits for their dinner... she wondered if Charlotte would be staying... she hoped so...

Bernie arrived at Serena's to find them all in the lounge chatting. Jason and Charlotte were sat on the smaller sofa and Serena on the bigger sofa that they usually sat on together. Everyone smiled when Bernie came in and Charlotte got up to give her mum a hug... "Hi... mum" Bernie hugged her tightly whispering 'Thank you' in her ear.

She then went over to Serena and sat down pulling her into a hug, they sat cuddling and Serena held her tightly... "I missed you..." Bernie nodded smiling at her... "How have you been today?" Serena managed a bit of a smile and said she had had a nice afternoon with Charlotte and Jason.

Bernie asked Charlotte if she would like to stay for dinner and she said she would like to... her boyfriend could pick  her up later she just needed to text him. Bernie asked her when they could meet this boyfriend of hers and she blushed a little... "I'm not sure... yet..."

Bernie got the hint and tried to change the subject but Serena asked her if they were 'getting serious'... Bernie gave her a tiny swipe on the leg with her hand... "You can't ask that..." Serena didn't see why not and Charlotte just said that she liked him a lot but didn't know if it was love... "I really want to be in love... you know... and i'm not sure this is it..."

Bernie didn't know what to say... Jason piped up that he loves Celia and Charlotte nodded... "See... there... you know you do Jason... and mum knows she loves Serena..."

Bernie went a deep shade of red and Serena thought this was adorable. Bernie wanted to change this subject and got up to start on dinner... Serena went to sit by Charlotte when Jason got up to go to the bathroom...

"Mum is hopeless... when it comes to love..." Charlotte was chuckling noticing that Bernie had practically run out of the door at the mention of talking about love and relationships... she had got better though... but she would rather not talk about them if necessary...

Serena stuck up for her partner and smiled at Charlotte... "She is not hopeless at love in the sense that you think she is... she loves me very much and isn't afraid to show it..." Charlotte smiled... "Yes... she is different with you... it is lovely to see... she just doesn't like talking about it and dad... well... he thinks love... sucks... you know... after mum..."

Serena felt a bit of a twinge of jealousy at hearing Marcus' name... she knew that he had loved Bernie and that kind of hurt... Bernie was hers...

Charlotte began to talk to Serena about her feelings for her boyfriend and Serena tried to help... it took her mind off her grief for a minute and she was happy to bond with Charlotte and get to know her... "When did you know you were in love with mum...?" Charlotte was interested not prying.... Serena thought and she actually beamed... "Well I knew I had feelings for her when we were just friends and colleagues but I knew I was in love with her the day she said she may go on secondment to the Ukraine".

Charlotte had heard about this day from her mum when Serena had kissed her in the office and it was clear she was falling for her mum and she nodded with Serena. "Mum went though didn't she... to Kiev..." Serena nodded... this brought back memories that were unpleasant but she was over that now and just smiled... "Yeah... we got there in the end when she got back though... we had missed each other like mad and your mum... she was scared of us being together and what it meant...".

Charlotte nodded understanding... this was typical of her mum... she was so glad that Serena had been patient with her..."You know she is totally in love with you don't you..." Charlotte was looking at Serena now with a smile... "I do..." Serena managed a smile back.

"I guess... I want the sort of love you two have..." Charlotte sat back on the sofa and Serena touched her arm... "That's really nice of you to say... your mum has been so amazing to me since... you know..." Charlotte hugged her then and Serena let herself be hugged by Charlotte... she hugged like Bernie in a way but obviously not as tightly!

Bernie called them through to the kitchen as dinner was ready... she witnessed this hug between Charlotte and Serena and her heart melted... it meant the world...


	68. Thursday

Bernie opened the patio door into the garden gently... it was the middle of the night and she had woken up about twenty minutes ago not being able to drift back off to sleep. She was desperate for a cigarette and plonked herself down on one of the wooden chairs trying to be quiet so not to wake Serena and Jason upstairs...

She was feeling very stressed and smoking calmed her... she had tried to give up and had been doing well but then the awful events had happened and well... she wasn't punishing herself for once for giving in... she sat back inhaling the smoke and feeling better already... she had only managed to sleep for about an hour as it had taken Serena ages to fall asleep in her arms with Bernie stroking her back.

Bernie looked up at the sky and thought about how things had changed and how they had to change with the death of Elinor... it was really a tragedy and Bernie just felt so sad... she knew she had to be a pillar of strength around Serena so actually let herself cry quietly without anyone around...

Serena woke naturally at 8.15am... she turned over to see that Bernie had already left for work... she reached out with her hand to the side of the bed where Bernie had slept and then curled back up under the sheets.

Bernie had a busy morning on AAU... the was a trauma patient that needed expert assessment so she was kept occupied until lunchtime when she took a break in the office to sit and have a sandwich. She sent a text to Serena to check on her and Jason sitting back in her chair feeling exhausted. Fletch came in and sat down with her for a moment... asking how she was. Bernie replied that things were very stressful at the moment generally... Fletch gave her a sympathetic smile understanding the position she was in.

Serena got up around 12pm to have something to eat... Jason was sat in the kitchen reading a newspaper and was delighted to see her up... they chatted about how each of them were and Jason asked if he could stay at Celia's tonight. Serena smiled at him and asked him how it was going with Celia...

He said it was going fine and that they were serious about each other but taking things slowly physically... Serena was glad to hear this and nodded understanding what he was saying without prying. They both watched TV together for a bit before Serena went upstairs to have a relaxing bath.

As she was getting dressed and replying to Bernie's text from earlier she decided to do some more sorting in Elinor's room so she would have done something productive today... it wasn't like her at all to let days pass endlessly without doing anything...

Jason saw her in Elinor's room as he was leaving to go to Celia's... he asked her if she was ok and went to give her a hug checking that Bernie was staying later. Serena nodded and said that she hoped he had a nice time.

Serena sorted through Elinor's wardrobe... Evie had taken some bits the other day but there was quite a lot of bits still in there that had just been kept over the years... school bits, clothes that Elinor didn't wear very often but wanted to keep, school books, certificates... Serena had looked through some bits the other day but there was more to sort and she came across a small wooden jewellery box that she hadn't seen for years.

She opened it carefully to find some bits and pieces that Elinor had kept but not necessarily worn very often... her main bits of jewellery she was wearing or had been taken before now. She lifted the small shelf up and wished she hadn't... there she found two small bags of white powder...

Serena gasped... shocked... Jesus... what were these doing here and why did Elinor have them? She sat back on the floor her mind buzzing with questions and scenario's...

Bernie was in theatre in the afternoon and finished around 6pm... she sent a text to Serena letting her know she was on her way home as Serena had offered to cook tonight.

She let herself in with her key and found the downstairs of Serena's house quiet... she went into the kitchen to put her bag down and get a drink of water... she was really thirsty after not having chance to have a drink all afternoon. She glanced around and everywhere seemed tidier... Serena had obviously been pottering around... a good sign she thought...

She went upstairs quietly thinking Serena may be having a rest or be asleep but she saw the bedroom lamp on and Serena awake but laying in bed. As soon as she saw Bernie she got up and went to her giving her a tight hug... "Bernie..."

Bernie held her and stroked her hair... "How have you been today...?" she kissed her gently and Serena let out a sob onto her shoulder... "I found something awful in Elinor's room..." she took Bernie's hand leading the way into Elinor's bedroom and showed Bernie the small packets she had left on Elinor's bed.

Bernie's eyes went really wide realising what they were and she didn't know what to say...

Serena cuddled up to her and Bernie held her tightly... "What shall we do...?" tears were falling down Serena's cheeks which Bernie lovingly wiped away. "I don't know... I think we need to have a think about it". They lay on the bed for a bit... Serena in Bernie's arms and Bernie not knowing what to say or do... what did this mean? Was Elinor taking drugs then? Serena obviously had no idea... did anyone else know?

Bernie offered to get them something to eat but Serena felt too sick to her stomach to eat anything... Bernie suggested getting some fish and chips in and Serena could have a few chips... Serena nodded grateful that she didn't have to cook.. she couldn't think of anything else but what she had found in Elinor's jewellery box...

Bernie checked that Jason was definitely out and not wanting anything to eat before she grabbed her bag and got in the car to get tea... she needed some air after what she had just discovered...

Serena went to sit in the lounge to wait for Bernie to come back... maybe she should have gone with her...  she suddenly felt needy putting the TV on for background noise and poured two glasses of wine for them to have.

Bernie wasn't out long and kissed Serena's cheek as she passed her in the hall when she got back... "I got you a fish too.... in case you change your mind... you should eat something Serena..." Serena nodded gratefully and reached for Bernie's hand... "I don't know what to do... or think..."

Bernie nodded while sorting out the fish and chips onto a large plate and taking the glasses of wine through to the lounge... "I think that we shouldn't do anything tonight about it... it needs to sink in and you are upset..." Bernie touched Serena's shoulder affectionately...

Serena ate some chips from Bernie's plate and leant her head on her shoulder... "I didn't really know her..." Bernie kissed her hair and fed her another chip... she didn't know what to say... there was some quiz show on TV that neither of them were properly watching but it filled the silence as neither of them felt much like talking... Serena put her hand on Bernie's leg stroking it gently which Bernie felt was comforting.

"How about we lose ourselves in a film tonight... you have had a bit of a day..." Bernie saw Serena nodding and found something on Sky movies for them to cuddle up to... Serena lay with her head in Bernie's lap... Bernie stroking her hair and Serena's arm on Bernie's stomach. This was comforting for both of them... they both needed the comfort that only each other could give at this moment in time...


	69. Friday

Bernie woke to hear gentle tapping on the bedroom door, she turned over reaching out for Serena and realised quickly she wasn't there... the tapping happened again and Bernie got up feeling the chill... she didn't even know what time it was...

She opened the door to see Jason standing there in his pyjamas... "Jason...." Bernie looked at him with concern. "Bernie.... Auntie Serena is doing something in Elinor's room and I don't know what... I haven't spoken to her but it woke me up and i'm a bit scared..." He was looking at Bernie for the answers and Bernie knew this.

She put her arm round him gently and said to go back to his bedroom... she would bring him up a hot chocolate in a minute but she needed to go and check on Serena first... he nodded gratefully and went back to his room. Bernie felt apprehensive as to what Serena was doing but had a fair idea...

She gently pushed the door to Elinor's room open to see the lamps on and Serena sitting on Elinor's bed going through what seemed like everything... "Serena..." Bernie went over to her and held her tightly...

"Bernie.... I need to see if there are any more... packets... in here... I have to know..." Bernie held her hand stroking over it lightly... "Ok... but you woke Jason and he is a bit anxious..."

Serena looked really sorry and said she should go and speak to him but Bernie shook her head... "You finish in here and then go back to bed... please...I will speak to Jason about... this..." Serena nodded and kissed Bernie on the cheek... "Thank you... and i'm sorry".

Bernie went down to the kitchen and made three hot chocolates... she was worried about Serena... she stirred the mugs and put them on a tray ready to take back upstairs... she could do with a cigarette but made herself go straight back up... she had to get ready for work in just over three and a half hours...

Bernie went into Jason's room first and took a hot chocolate over to his bedside... "Here you go...." she smiled at him and he gestured to her to sit on the bed for a minute... "Thank you Bernie, is Auntie Serena ok? What was she doing?" Bernie sighed and said that Serena had found something in Elinor's room yesterday that had upset her and she was checking to see if there was anything else...

"Serena is finding it difficult to sleep at the moment Jason... she is sorry she woke you up... she wanted to come and see you... to explain". Jason shook his head and said it was fine, he drank the hot drink carefully and said he would try and sleep. Bernie reminded him that she was at work later and if he needed her or anything he was to text her. He was very grateful for her reassurance and thanked her again.

Bernie went back into Serena's bedroom and Serena was laying down under the sheets but awake... "Here you go... drink this sweetheart..." Bernie put down a hot chocolate next to her hoping it would help her to drift off or at least make her more sleepy...

Serena thanked her. "Did you find any more..." Bernie pulled her into a tight cuddle and Serena shook her head... "I couldn't sleep at all... it was all going round my head and I needed to know if there was anything else in there..." Bernie nodded... kissing Serena's hair and stroking her back.

She held her for ages just stroking her back and kissing her gently to try and relax her. Serena started to let her body relax and eventually they both drifted off into light sleeps...

Bernie got up for work at 7.15am and left Serena a note before heading downstairs to grab some breakfast... god she was exhausted... at least she wasn't in theatre today... she didn't think she would be able to concentrate...

Morven saw Bernie when she reached AAU heading to the office and asked her if she was feeling ok... Bernie just nodded politely but Morven thought she looked completely awful... she followed her into the office and offered to do the ward round... "You look really tired Ms Wolfe... Bernie... shall I get you a coffee..?" Bernie nodded gratefully and thanked her... she would complete all the paperwork this morning and see how she felt later...

Serena got up at lunchtime and went downstairs to make something to eat... Jason was in the lounge watching TV and came into the kitchen to see her... "Jason I'm so sorry I woke you up last night..." she went to give him a hug and he let her holding on to her tightly. "I'm sorry you are so sad Auntie Serena, is there anything I can do?" Jason really hated seeing his aunt like this. Serena said that he could make them both a cup of tea and then they could have a chat which Jason seemed really pleased about... they hadn't chatted properly for ages and he missed their chats...

They sat together in the lounge drinking tea and Jason had made Serena some scrambled eggs so she would eat something... she thought that was kind of him... he had been practicing some things in the kitchen lately and was getting slightly better...

"Auntie Serena, Bernie said you had found something in Elinor's room yesterday... she didn't say what it was, just that you are upset about it" Jason was sitting with Serena on the bigger sofa while she ate and he relaxed with her.

"Yes Jason... I found some... drugs..." Serena thought there was no point in hiding this from her nephew, he had good insight generally and may be able to help her think what to do..." "Oh...." Jason looked anxious and confused... "So Elinor took drugs.... what was it?"

Serena shrugged her shoulders... she had an idea of course but she didn't even know for sure that Elinor had taken any... she may have had them for a friend but Serena wasn't naive... her daughter and her friend had taken drugs in the past so this was hardly a new thing... really.

Jason asked her what she was going to do but Serena didn't know... she missed Bernie and thought about her at work. She remembered the note Bernie had left by the side of her bed earlier this morning...'I love you, we can talk about you know what later tonight, miss you xx'.

Bernie would know what to do she was sure of it... for now she just wanted to forget and asked Jason how he was feeling. He said that he was doing ok and would like to perhaps think about going back to work at some point... Serena nodded but advised him not to rush it... perhaps take another week to completely recover after his accident and then aim for the week after that...

Jason nodded respecting her advice and his topic of conversation turned to Bernie... "I really like Bernie Auntie Serena". She smiled at him, she knew he adored Bernie. "Are you going to marry her?"

Serena nearly choked on her cup of tea... where had this come from...?? Had Bernie said something to him?

"Ummm... what makes you say that Jason...?" Serena's heart was beating fast... what was going on here??

"I just think you should get married eventually... that's what people who love each other do and you can do that now... you know gay couples" he was smiling at her. "Would you want to marry her if she asked you?"

Serena wasn't very comfortable with this conversation... although it did take her mind off the whole drugs issue. "Yes Jason... I would want to marry Bernie... but there is no rush... we were both married before... each of us for a very long time so perhaps we aren't in a rush to do that again..."

Jason shook his head firmly... "You hadn't met the right people then and were both unhappy... you love each other and Bernie would do anything for you... if you asked her to jump off a cliff... she probably would if it would make you happy..." he was chuckling now and Serena managed a smile... "Yes she probably would..." she thought Jason was sweet for saying these nice things and for trying to make her smile...

"It isn't up to Bernie to ask me... you know Jason... it works both ways and... now is not the right time really is it..." she was trying to get him to see that her life had changed which meant their lives had changed...

Jason nodded "I know.... it's just this morning I was thinking about it when Bernie made me a hot chocolate and bought it to me in bed".

Serena smiled... Yes... she wanted to marry Bernie eventually... maybe Bernie wouldn't want that though... Ms 'running away to Kiev' when love was mentioned... she sighed and sat watching TV with Jason for a bit. She checked her mobile and there was a text from Bernie... 'I love you, how are you feeling? xx'

Serena sent a text back saying she was anxious but ok, sitting with Jason and they were having a nice chat, she missed her though. Bernie replied saying she needed to call in at her flat to check on things after work but would be back for tea.... Jason was cooking them all dinner tonight.

Bernie got to her flat after work and checked on everything, doing some laundry and changing clothes over... this was a regular thing now and she never minded... she would always stay with Serena as her preferred option. She took the chance to have a cigarette with a coffee while she was busy. She tried to relax and think about the whole drugs issue and what she thought about it away from Serena's house...

Serena was in bed having a nap when Bernie arrived... Jason was in the kitchen making them some tea and Bernie came straight upstairs to see her after saying hello to Jason. "Hi...." Serena put her arms up for a cuddle... "Hi...." Bernie kissed her and they cuddled on the bed holding on to each other tightly...

"Have you been... smoking...?" Serena looked up at her with her right eyebrow raised... "Yes... sorry... I had one at the flat... you know... to keep me calmer" Serena nodded and pulled her in tighter... "I'm sorry... you know... for making you stressed..."

Bernie shook her head... "You are not... please don't apologise... it is the situation you know that is stressful... not you" she kissed her firmly on the lips and stroked her face lovingly.

Jason called up that tea was almost ready... "What are we having...?" Bernie smirked at her and Serena replied she thought it was chicken and chips and that she was sorry! Bernie let out a small laugh... "It's fine... it's nice that he is trying... you know..."

They held hands on the way down to the kitchen and Jason dished up their tea. They looked at each other trying not to laugh... that was not kind...

"Thank you Jason... this looks lovely..." Bernie said to him smiling... Serena had to look away trying not to laugh... the chips were quite burnt but the chicken looked ok... not that there was much of it... it actually felt nice to smile for once and she tried not to let herself feel bad for doing it...

They ate quietly and Jason asked what they were going to do with the drugs... "You told him then..." Bernie looked at Serena and she nodded back. Bernie thought the best thing to do was to get rid of them and Jason agreed...

Serena wasn't sure... "Do you think anyone knows that she was taking it... you know... friends... perhaps we should check her social media...?" Bernie thought this was a good idea and offered to take a look after tea so Serena wouldn't get too upset. Serena nodded and agreed that yes they should just put the drugs down the toilet... they certainly didn't want to get into trouble themselves at any point for having drugs in the house... they were two respectable surgeons.

After thanking Jason for tea... Bernie and Serena went upstairs while Jason washed up... he was pleased with himself for doing the tea and wanted to finish the job properly by clearing away too.

Serena went into Elinor's room and got the two packets.... Bernie took them off her and told her to go into the bedroom. She went to the main bathroom and without any further thinking flushed the drugs away... there... gone.

She went back into the bedroom and cuddled up with Serena on the bed... "I love you... Serena... I hope you know how much... I would do anything for you..." Serena nodded gratefully... "Thank you... and I know you would... you have been so amazing to me..."

Bernie just held her tighter and allowed her hands to settle under Serena's pyjama top at her waist pulling them closer together... "We will find out... you know...about the drugs... I will make sure we do... ok... try not to worry..." and with that Serena closed her eyes for a bit in Bernie's arms... where she felt safe from everything...


	70. Saturday

Bernie woke to find Serena still asleep next to her... Serena's arm on her leg and facing her on her pillow. Bernie smiled to see her so close... she looked beautiful... pale but still beautiful.

She got up to use the bathroom and went downstairs to get a cup of tea. Jason was sitting in the kitchen on his laptop and he looked up when he saw her. "Hello Bernie..." she smiled at him and asked how he was. He said he was feeling ok and was looking at something to do with Alan later... he was spending some time with him this afternoon and evening and Alan had said they could do whatever Jason wanted to do.

Bernie sat down with him looking at various options and Jason asked if Serena was ok. Bernie said she was still fast asleep but had gathered her sleeping had been a bit better last night. Jason nodded looking pleased... this was good... he wanted his auntie to get back to normal...

Bernie heard footsteps upstairs and made a coffee for Serena taking it up with her... "Hi..." she saw Serena get back into bed after using the bathroom. "Hi...." Serena smiled at her and gestured for Bernie to get back into bed. Bernie put the coffee down by Serena's bedside and got under the sheets snuggling down...

"Did you sleep any better?" Bernie was cuddled up to Serena now her head gently resting on Serena's chest. "Yes... I did a bit thank you... " they lay content in each others arms for a while until Bernie spoke again... "How would you feel about going out with me... for lunch today...? We wouldn't have to be out too long... how would you feel about that?"

Serena smiled at her... "Sounds lovely... I would like that thank you..."

Bernie reminded her that Jason was at Alan's from this afternoon onwards until tomorrow so when they came back Serena could just relax... they were both tired. Serena nodded and held Bernie tightly... "Where are we going for lunch...?"

Bernie smiled... "The Italian...?"

"Where else..." Serena managed a bigger smile this time... it was their place and she felt comfortable there.

"Should I dress up...?" Serena was looking at Bernie with a touch of anxiety... Bernie held her hand... "No... just be yourself... what you are comfortable in... it isn't a big deal ok... just lunch... together..." Serena nodded stroking Bernie's hand lightly.

"You always look beautiful... whatever you wear... Serena.." Serena blushed and rested her head now on Bernie's shoulder... "What about the drugs... any further thoughts?" Serena was looking up at Bernie and Bernie nodded... "Yes... I was thinking that maybe I could speak to Ric about it... see what he thinks...?".

Serena said they should think about it. "Also, I think we should tell Edward..." Bernie was apprehensive about saying this to Serena but it was what she had been thinking...

Serena didn't know what to say to either of these really but of course took them on board... Bernie always made sense of things and she trusted her opinion...

Serena nodded.. "Maybe... let's try and enjoy some lunch together then I will think about it some more..." Bernie nodded saying that she would book a table and Serena could use the shower first.

Jason came to say goodbye to them before he left for Alan's, he hugged Serena tightly and Bernie too... "Have a nice lunch together..." they both smiled at him and Serena reminded him that he could call them at anytime... he nodded and went downstairs with his rucksack to get the bus.

Bernie waited in the lounge for Serena to finish getting ready... she had put on her new skinny jeans and black wrap top with her jacket so she felt a bit nicer than her everyday wear. Serena came downstairs looking lovely in a black skirt and jumper... she had a dark grey jacket on, black tights and boots. Bernie looked at her lovingly... "Serena... you look so gorgeous..." Serena managed a smile and held her hand out... "Thank you for doing this... it's really thoughtful..." Bernie took her hand and they set off in Bernie's car for the restaurant.

Bernie had booked their usual table and the waiter recognised them nodding and smiling saying how lovely they both looked. They both thanked him and ordered their usual dishes. Bernie just ordered them one glass of wine each to go with their meal and she smiled at Serena... "Thank you... you know... for coming out with me... I know you probably didn't feel like it.."

Serena looked at Bernie... she looked effortlessly stunning and Serena felt full of love for her... "I did feel like spending time with you... I always do and thank you... I feel comfortable here..." Bernie nodded sipping her wine. Her mobile went off in her bag and she looked really embarrassed... "I'm sorry Serena... I thought I had put it onto silent..."

Serena shrugged... "It's fine... who is it... is it work?" Bernie checked and it was Charlotte who had called her. Bernie put it back in her bag onto silent and sipped some more of her wine. "Maybe she needs you for something...?" Serena was looking a bit concerned... Bernie thought it would just be for a chat so said she would call her back later.

They enjoyed the food and just being together doing something normal that couples do... Serena reached for Bernie's hand under the table and Bernie smiled at her...

They talked about AAU, Cam - Bernie had a text from him earlier today and he was enjoying his new placement and Jason - how his relationship with Celia was going. They chatted effortlessly and Serena was enjoying herself... her grief was still there of course but she was able to have a nice lunch with Bernie.

They drove back to Serena's afterwards and Bernie kissed her on the cheek as they got in... "Thank you for coming with me..." Serena went for her lips... "Thank you for taking me out... I really enjoyed it...".

Bernie blushed and went to make them some coffee's while Serena took her jacket and boots off in the lounge. Bernie checked her phone again in the kitchen and saw that Charlotte had left her an answer phone message...'Hi mum... can I come round please... I have split up with my boyfriend... my decision... but don't really want to be on my own... can you call me back, thanks, Charlotte'.

Bernie went into the lounge and asked Serena if it was ok if Charlotte came round... she said Serena could stay upstairs if she didn't feel like company but Serena was fine with Charlotte coming and seeing her. She was sorry to hear about the split but knew that Charlotte hadn't felt that happy...

Bernie pulled her into a kiss... "Thank you... I love you" Serena smiled and sat down sipping her coffee... "I love you too".

About forty five minutes later there was a knock at the door and Bernie went to answer it... "Hi mum..." Charlotte was standing there looking upset. Bernie hugged her tightly... "How are you... i'm sorry... you know" Charlotte just nodded and stepped into the hall. "Is Serena here... how is she?" Serena came into the hall to see Charlotte and gave her a hug... "Hi...." Charlotte hugged her tightly and they all went into the lounge. "Can I make you a cup of tea... Charlotte... or would you like something stronger...?" Serena wasn't sure what she should offer in this situation...

Charlotte managed a smile and said tea would be fine thank you and Serena left her and Bernie to it going to make some drinks.

Charlotte was upset... she had ended things but it still hurt and she didn't feel good for hurting someone who liked her... "It just wasn't working..." Bernie wasn't sure what to say... she wasn't good at this... she just nodded and listened. She said she had heard from Cam and Charlotte nodded... "Yes I spoke to him yesterday... he is enjoying himself in London...".

Serena bought the drinks in and some cakes... she thought they needed them. Charlotte noticed her mum and Serena were quite dressed up and asked them if they had been out. Serena nodded... "Your mum kindly took me out for some lunch...". Charlotte smiled... "That's so lovely... did you have a nice time...?" she was looking at Serena knowing that it was such a difficult time for her at the moment.

"I did... thank you... we did..." Serena looked at Bernie and Bernie smiled back making Serena's stomach flip... she still had the ability to do that to her.

"Is Jason here...?" Charlotte was leaning her head on Bernie's shoulder now and Bernie put her arm round her shoulder. "No... he is staying with Alan..." Serena replied witnessing this sweet moment between Bernie and Charlotte. She felt emotional and excused herself going into the kitchen...

Bernie came in to find her... "Are you ok... i'm sorry...it must hurt to see..." Serena just nodded but shrugged her shoulders at the same time. "I want to tell Ric.... about the drugs i've thought about it... not Edward though... can't face that conversation...".

Bernie nodded and said she would speak to Ric if Serena wanted her to and Serena said maybe they could go and see Ric together... he was a friend to her but also their boss at the moment technically and Elinor had died in their hospital... Bernie said she would support Serena in whatever she wanted to do.

They went back into the lounge together and Charlotte was laying down on the sofa... her head on one of the cushions...

"Would you like to stay here tonight... Charlotte...?" Serena was smiling at her and Charlotte nodded gratefully... "Thank you... Serena... yes please... I don't want to go back to dad's". Bernie asked after Marcus and Charlotte said he was dating but not very successfully. Serena raised an eyebrow at Bernie to see her reaction and Bernie just shrugged.

"You can stay in the office... there is a sofa bed in there or you can stay in Elinor's room if you want to... but there are still bits in there that we are sorting through..." she looked at Bernie and she gave her a nod.

"I'll stay in the office please... and thank you Serena... I know you don't feel up to doing much at the moment". Serena nodded and went to sit on the other side of Charlotte... "I want to help and you know... you have me now too..." Charlotte hugged her tightly... "Thank you...". Bernie smiled at Serena and mouthed 'Thank you' to her.

Serena smiled back mouthing 'I love you'....


	71. Sunday

Serena and Bernie woke at roughly the same time and cuddled closer to each other in bed... Bernie laying her head on Serena's chest and Serena stroking her hair... "How did you sleep?" she murmured. Bernie looked up into Serena's eyes and smiled... "Yes well... thank you...how about you... any better?"

Serena nodded and kissed her hair reaching for her hand under the sheets... "Breakfast in bed...?" Bernie nodded and asked her if she wanted help... Serena shook her head and got up to put her robe on smiling at Bernie before leaving the room to go downstairs. Bernie had missed Serena's smiles so much... they were slowly returning and Bernie knew how much of an effort it was for her to give them at the moment...

Jason was in the kitchen dressed and ready to meet Celia at the shops... "Good morning Auntie Serena, how are you feeling today?" Jason smiled at her and Serena smiled back... "I'm doing a bit better thank you Jason... I hope you have a nice time with Celia". Jason thanked her and asked if Celia could stay tonight which Serena agreed to... she always thought it was lovely of Jason to ask her and not assume it was ok for his girlfriend to stay.

She made some pancakes for her and Bernie and said goodbye to Jason. Bernie was dozing when Serena entered the bedroom with a tray of breakfast things... she thought Bernie looked gorgeous and managed another smile at her when Bernie's eyes opened hearing Serena put the tray down on the dresser.

They ate quietly with Bernie bringing up talking to Ric today... Serena nodded and said she would text him as she knew he was back in work today before meetings this coming week which Bernie had offered to step up at the hospital while he went to them.

Serena sipped her coffee and leant in to kiss Bernie's lips gently... "I really love you... you know..." Bernie blushed and nodded.. "I'm so glad you do... how did I get so lucky..." Serena frowned... "I wouldn't say you are lucky to have me at the moment...." Bernie reached for her hand... "I am always lucky to have you Serena" and with that she kissed her back gently before Serena deepened the kiss and they were laying side by side kissing the life out of each other. Serena moved her hands over the front of Bernie's vest and Bernie immediately pulled back... "What are you doing... Serena?" Serena kissed her neck softly... "What do you think i'm doing...?"

Bernie looked at her and shook her head... "No... we shouldn't... you don't have to feel like you have to do anything... with me... you know". Serena nodded... "I know... I just want to be close to you". Bernie pulled her tightly against her body and kissed her hair... "We can be close like this ok...." Serena lay her head on Bernie's chest... "Ok... but just so you know that I very much still want... you and us... intimately..." Bernie managed a grin... "And I can't wait until you really feel like doing that... ok... no rush..." Serena kissed her neck again... "Ok... does that mean we can't make out though?" she raised her right eyebrow at Bernie and Bernie chuckled... "Of course we can do that..." and with that they were kissing madly again...

Ric arrived at 11.30am to see them both. Serena had text him earlier and he came round straight away more or less after clearing some more urgent business.

Serena opened the door to him and he kissed her cheek... "Hello Serena..." she hugged him briefly and let him into the hall showing him through to the lounge. Bernie said hello and offered to make them some drinks. Ric sat down on the sofa and asked Serena how she was doing...

"I'm... you know...coping... just about... really because of Bernie... helping me though". Ric nodded and said there was no rush to come back to work just yet which Serena was grateful for. "I have something I would like to talk to you about... Ric..." he nodded and Bernie came through with a tray of coffee's sitting down next to Serena.

"I found something in Elinor's room when I was clearing some bits and I... we... wanted to ask your opinion..." Ric looked intrigued but nodded sipping his coffee...

Serena looked at Bernie to take over this conversation and Bernie explained that it had been two small packets of white powder that Serena had found and they were bringing it up because Elinor had died at the hospital. Had it shown up in her system when she was being treated there?

Ric sank back into the sofa and didn't know what to think or say... "I see...." he was quiet for a few minutes, Serena and Bernie just watching him waiting for him to speak...

"I think I will have to do some checks at work into her notes... treatment etc." he looked at Serena with a concerned expression... "How are you feeling about this...?" she shook her head leaning slightly into Bernie... "I am shocked... Ric... I don't know what to think... i'm upset about it". He nodded and looked at Bernie... "What are your thoughts...?"

Bernie said she had wanted to ask him what he thought and also tell Edward but Serena wasn't sure...

"Let me find out some more about it first... then you can decide about telling Edward" he spoke kindly and then changed the conversation to Bernie overseeing things for a few days this week while he was off attending several meetings. She checked what was needed and Serena sat still leaning into Bernie slightly. Bernie moved her arm to put it round Serena's shoulder and Ric smiled at them... "You two.... Serena... you are perfect together... hope you both know that..."

They looked at each other and grinned. Serena then feeling bad because she felt happy in a moment but stayed where she was... Bernie's arm around her... she felt safer...

Ric stayed for an hour catching up with them both and when he left to go said he would ring Bernie on Tuesday to catch up and let her know anything else that was needed. Bernie smiled at him when she showed him out... "Thank you for coming round Ric... I appreciate it" he nodded at her and smiled... "Take care of her... I know you will" and she watched him get into his car outside.

Jason arrived back mid afternoon holding many shopping bags with Celia. Serena was sat on the sofa... her feet up on Bernie's lap she was looking at her laptop while Bernie was stroking her legs and rubbing her feet gently. "Hi Jason.... Celia... did you both have a nice time?"  she thought Jason looked anxious and got up to see if he was ok.

Celia sat on the other sofa and put her shopping bags on the floor... she had five of them, Bernie counted.

Jason had six and put them down near the TV. Serena asked what he had bought and he said... clothes. She asked to see them and Jason shook his head which was strange Serena thought. He went to make them all some hot drinks in the kitchen and Serena asked Celia if Jason was ok....

Celia shook her head... "He has spent too much money and thinks you will be cross..." Serena looked at Bernie who was raising her eyebrows at the amount of shopping bags... "Why... how much has he spent...?" Celia said Serena needed to ask Jason and went back to checking her phone.

Serena went straight to the kitchen... "How much have you spent Jason...?" he still wouldn't say and Serena was losing patience now going back to sitting with Bernie for a cuddle. Jason came back in with a tray of tea and biscuits. Bernie asked to see his clothes and he took them out of the bag... Serena gave her a look as if to say 'how did you manage that...?!'

She noticed that the clothes had designer lables on and questioned Jason about it... Jason put them back in the bag and sat down looking anxious. Bernie went to stand by him... "Are you ok...? What's happened?" he put his hand on her arm and said he had spent too much money today and felt bad. Bernie asked him how much he had spent and he replied with £400!!!

Serena went mad.... asking him how he had got that money to spend and Celia piped up that Jason now had a credit card so had treated them both today...

Bernie gave Serena a look... as if to say 'keep calm here...' she talked to Jason about how he had got a credit card and he said he wanted one to treat Celia to things. Bernie put her arm gently round his shoulder... "Ok... calm down... yes that is a lot of money... but you can take some of the things back to the shops can't you and we can see about getting your credit limit reduced so you don't overspend... how about that...?" Jason gave Bernie a hug and Bernie tried to keep everyone calm.

Serena walked out of the lounge and went upstairs to the bedroom... she couldn't deal with this today... she was thankful Bernie had stepped in here... she was cross with Jason... getting a credit card and then spending nearly the credit limit...

A few minutes later Bernie came upstairs and shut the bedroom door behind her coming over to Serena and rubbing her shoulder... "He is upset... he knows that is too much money to spend..." Serena nodded putting her arms round Bernie's waist... "Thank you for stepping in there.. I was feeling so cross". Bernie nodded and held her tightly... "Would you like some space from them tonight and we can stay at mine for a change...?" Serena nodded gratefully... "Yes please... we could do with the peace.... if they are here together..." Bernie smiled and kissed her shoulder...

Serena said she would cook... it would calm her down and Bernie suggested they stop at Marks and Spencers for some bits on the way over. Serena began to pack her bag and Bernie picked some of her own bits up from around the room putting them in her bag. Serena reached for her hand... "I could do with some privacy anyway... I really want some more of those amazing kisses from earlier... do you think you could manage that...?" she smiled flirtatiously at Bernie who beamed back... "That I can do..." and she winked at Serena.


	72. Monday

Bernie's alarm went off and she sighed... she wasn't ready to get up yet. She turned over to see Serena fast asleep close to her and smiled... she looked beautiful as always. She got up quietly and went into the en suite to take a shower. She had put her work clothes out last night so she could grab them and get dressed in the bathroom so she wouldn't wake Serena... she really needed her sleep at the moment.

After grabbing a quick flask of coffee and some fruit she headed for work knowing she had to be there earlier today as Ric was off and she was holding the fort at the hospital... she felt pleased that Ric had asked her. He said he would ring her when he had thought more about the drugs issue as he needed to look into Elinor's patient notes and test results.

Serena woke at 10am and turned over to see if Bernie had left her a note.. of course she had... 'I love you Serena xx'. She smiled and lay back in the sheets but her thoughts quickly turned to Jason and how much money he had spent shopping yesterday.. far too much. She had made the peace with him late last night talking to him and had offered to take him to the shops today so he could return some of the items he had bought and also the bank to reduce the limit he could spend on the credit card, he had agreed and actually cried... she had felt sorry for him at that point... and had given him a hug.

Bernie settled herself in Ric's office... management wasn't really her thing... she preferred being in theatre but for a change it felt nice to be asked to step up and take the reins... Ric must trust her which felt nice. She worked her way through some tasks that Ric had left for her and called down to AAU to check on things... Raf was in charge and Morven had stepped up to help so things were fine until she went down there this afternoon. She sent a text to Serena to check on her and Serena replied immediately... 'I love you too, thank you for the note, hope work is going ok, i'm taking Jason now, wish me luck! xx'.

Bernie smiled at the text and replied... 'Good luck... remember be kind! xx'.

Jason was anxious about going into the designer stores to return his clothes so Serena took charge and let him keep one of the items but the rest had to go back... Jason had spent ages choosing what to keep and Serena was getting inpatient with him... she remembered Bernie's text... 'be kind' and took some deep breaths calming herself.

Luckily the store assistants were ok about the returns and the money was put back on Jason's credit card as it was clear he hadn't worn the clothes. Jason kept saying he was sorry to Serena and she gathered that he was actually quite upset over it... he just wanted some clothes and to treat Celia...

Jason wanted to make up for 'being stupid' - his words and took Serena for a hot chocolate before they went to the bank. Serena chatted with him about his money and he wanted her to oversee things for a bit so he didn't 'mess up again'. She agreed and they chatted about Celia... Serena wanted to make sure Celia was going to take some of the things Jason had got for her back to the shops too. He nodded and said they realised they had 'gone mad' and had learned their lesson. She managed a smile to him and touched his arm... "I'm not cross now... ok... let's put this behind us.. why don't you stay at Celia's tonight... she looked upset yesterday". He said he would send her a text and asked how Serena was. They chatted about how she was doing - a little better only with Bernie's support and love though, Serena knew she would still be a complete mess without Bernie by her side through this.

Jason smiled at her... "Bernie is so good for you".... Serena smiled at him... "I know... she is really amazing isn't she..." he nodded saying she was 'lovely'. They finished their drinks and headed to Jason's bank to speak to the Manager if possible. Serena managed finally to get it all sorted after waiting for a while with Jason as the Manager was busy. He agreed to reduce the limit when the rest was paid back onto the card which needed Celia to take her things back. He took Serena's phone number so she could call when the money was back in the card account.

Jason hugged her when they left and apologised again for the 'mess'. Serena touched his arm... "Ok... let's forget it now... ok". Celia had texted back to say she would really like Jason to stay tonight and Serena smiled to herself... that meant time with Bernie... just the two of them. She called into the supermarket on the way back to pick up some things to cook them a nice dinner... she was very aware that 'date nights' had kind of stopped with the whole current situation and Bernie really deserved some time spent on her... she had been so wonderful...

Bernie managed ok covering for Ric and was able to check things in AAU during the afternoon.. she was proud of the team there... they had really worked so hard lately to put her mind and Serena's at ease covering for them both... a lot... they really wanted to take the worry from their two Co-Leads who they did in fact adore.

Bernie looked at her phone just before she was about to pack up for the day... 'Sorted everything out for Jason, he is away tonight at Celia's so place to ourselves, i'm cooking, hope you are home soon xx'.

She smiled and thought of nothing more wonderful than an evening with the woman she loved so very much. Serena was doing well she felt... she had her worse days but she was trying to keep to a simple routine during the day to keep her going... Bernie knew she was utterly devastated and wanted to be totally there for her... she loved her so much.

Jason left for Celia's at 6pm and Serena made a start on cooking the pasta dish she had decided on from scratch for herself and Bernie. Bernie had text to say she would be there in 20 minutes or so. She poured herself a glass of wine and tried to think nice, positive thoughts about her relationship with Bernie instead of letting grief take over tonight... she needed a break from feeling so sad...

Bernie arrived back and Serena heard the key in the door, her heart jumping and she went to greet Bernie with a kiss which Bernie loved... they kissed lovingly and Serena helped Bernie with her bag and coat. "Dinner... smells divine.. Serena..thank you.." Serena smiled and reached for her hand to pull her gently in to the kitchen. "It's nearly ready... would you like a glass of wine...?" Bernie nodded and headed into the downstairs toilet to wash her hands.

They ate and chatted... Bernie filling Serena in on her day... she hadn't heard back from Ric about Elinor's test results or notes yet and Serena told Bernie about what had happened with Jason in the shops and the bank. Bernie hoped she had been kind to Jason which she reassured her she had been!

Serena reached to put her hand on Bernie's thigh... "I have ice cream for dessert..." Bernie raised her eyebrows and Serena was smiling at her... "Do you remember when we fed each other ice cream last time..." Bernie nodded biting her lower lip... "Mmmm... yes of course".

"Well I thought we could take the tub... you know... to bed..." Serena was gripping Bernie's thigh and Bernie was looking at her with a cautious expression... "Serena...."

"It's ok... Bernie... I really want to... I want to feel you..." Bernie nodded and knew that Serena would ask to stop if it all got too much. She took Serena's hand in her own and they picked up the ice cream and a spoon heading upstairs...

Serena put it down on the side on a tray that was already there and Bernie kissed her gently... Serena leading her to the bed and reaching slightly to kiss Bernie's neck... Bernie undressing Serena's shirt and stroking her arms.. "Is this ok....? Tell me to stop if it gets too much... promise me..."

"I will..." Serena reached for the ice cream and scooped a small amount onto it feeding it to Bernie who licked the spoon and then proceeded to take off Serena's camisole.

Serena undid Bernie's shirt buttons and kissed between her breasts unhooking Bernie's bra carefully and looking up at her... "It's ok... Bernie... I promise... i'm ok... go with me..." Bernie nodded and fed Serena a spoonful of ice cream aware that as she was doing it... Serena was gently sucking at her nipples...

Bernie's head went back... god... she bloody hoped Serena didn't stop things now...

Serena kissed Bernie's chest everywhere and reached to take off her trousers... pulling her own down at the same time... It was obvious to Bernie what Serena was going to do and she stopped her briefly... "Would you like something yourself tonight... because if you do... I will do it now... sweetheart.." Serena nodded... Bernie taking off her bra and laying her down holding her gently... kissing her nipples lightly and then sucking them sensually while kissing down her stomach and then lower...

Serena was able to go there... focusing on Bernie... feeling something... lust... love... passion and it had felt wonderful even if only for a few minutes. God it had felt good... she smiled at Bernie who held her before Serena worked her own magic on Bernie. Bernie's mind being blown tonight... she hadn't been expecting this today... or for a while... god their love was something else...


	73. Tuesday (Afternoon of Daylight Episode)

Serena had spent a lot of the day so far in bed tossing and turning trying to fall back to sleep... she felt...guilty... for enjoying herself with Bernie last night when Elinor was still... yes well she couldn't think of that word...

What had she been thinking... she had just wanted to feel... something... with Bernie... she needed that break from the grief if only for a while... and it had felt so good... that's why she was feeling so bad...

Bernie was feeling impatient and frankly worn out at work today... she was caught up in... something strange between Dom and Issac and she really didn't understand what was going on as well as holding the fort for Ric and Sacha today...

She took a quick coffee break and sent a text to Serena to check on her... 'How are you feeling today? Missing you xx'.

She took some deep breaths and tried to switch off... everything... just for five minutes peace... god this was such a stressful time...

Serena did manage to fall back to sleep for an hour and when she woke she saw Bernie's text, reading it while hearing Jason come upstairs and gently tap on her bedroom door... "Auntie Serena are you getting up today?" always blunt and to the point Serena thought.

"Yes... Jason... I will be down shortly..." she sank back into the sheets and replied to Bernie's text...'Not having a good day today, hope you are having a better one, can't wait to see you, need a cuddle xx'.

She got up to use the bathroom, pulled on her robe and went downstairs to see Jason. "Are you ok Auntie Serena...?" he looked at her with concern while putting the kettle on. "I'm not feeling as good today..." she sighed and sat down at the kitchen table while Jason told her about staying at Celia's. He had had a nice time and Celia had taken all the shopping back to the shops now so Serena could call the bank at some point. Serena nodded and took the cup of tea that Jason had made for her.

Jason asked Serena if she had heard anymore about the drugs issue with Elinor and Serena shook her head... "No... Ric is busy at the moment... away from the hospital.. I'm sure he will do some looking into it soon..." Jason came to stand behind her and put a hand on her shoulder... "Can I do anything to cheer you up?" he did look concerned and Serena managed a smile at him... "Maybe we could watch some TV together... I would like that..." he nodded smiling and went through to the lounge while Serena put the finished cups in the sink.

Bernie was outside smoking... an e-cigarette but still... smoking... she had tried to cut down... even stop but now wasn't the best time was it really... she needed it... she breathed in and out slowly reading Serena's text... she would get something nice for them for dinner to cheer her up a bit... last night had been really wonderful but she knew Serena would feel bad today about letting herself go and going there with her.

Serena fell asleep on the sofa while Jason was watching back to back quiz shows... she only woke when her phone made a sound to indicate a received text and she reached to get it while Jason checked she was ok... "Just tired... Jason..." she murmured as she read Bernie's text... 'Can't wait to hold you, I will bring dinner in, busy day here, will be back around 7pm, I love you xx'.

Serena checked the time... 6.30pm... she had time to go and take a shower... where had the day actually gone...

She got up and told Jason that she was going to have a shower and that Bernie was bringing dinner in... Jason of course wanted to know what time this was going to be and what it was but Serena could only say that Bernie would be back in about half an hour.

She let the hot water drench her and felt... comfort... guilt and loss all at the same time. Last night she had managed to let herself go and now she was left with guilt... she dried herself and chose some of her nicer casual clothes... she thought it would make her feel a bit better... Bernie didn't deserve her wallowing after a tough day at the hospital.

She heard the key in the lock just as she had finished drying her hair and she went quickly downstairs... seeing Bernie with bags of food and pulling her into a tight embrace... "God... I've missed you..." Serena held her tightly and breathed in the faint smell left of Bernie's perfume. Bernie held her tightly back... "Missed you more... dinner is Thai... let's go and eat..." she held Serena's hand tightly going through to the kitchen to serve up the food.

Serena called Jason from his bedroom and he plodded downstairs... "Hello Bernie... that smells brilliant". Bernie asked him how he was and if he had had a nice time with Celia which he nodded and helped to put the food on to different plates to eat at the table. Serena got some drinks prepared... wine for them and coke for Jason.

They sat eating quietly... enjoying the taste of the food and all quite tired... Bernie thought Serena looked awful today even though she could tell she had made an effort with her clothes and make up. She thought she looked worn out and reached for her hand under the table...

"You don't need to hold each others hands under the table you know..." Jason piped up and Bernie smirked at Serena releasing it and going for it again over the top of the table... Serena managed a smile... "Yes thank you Jason..." raising her right eyebrow.

Jason told Bernie about Celia taking back her clothes so the money should be back on his credit card now. Bernie nodded... "See... it is getting sorted..." Jason nodded and asked about her day... "Tiring Jason... something is going on between Issac and Dom... and not in a good way..." Serena looked at her and asked what had happened which Bernie told them about... Serena shrugged... "Seems a bit odd... but they are together aren't they..." Bernie nodded... "Yes they are... Dom is crazy about him... don't know why...".

Jason laughed... "You wouldn't Bernie..." she smiled at Jason and nodded getting he little joke there. Serena managed a small laugh and squeezed Bernie's hand tighter.

"Can we all watch a film after dinner...?" Jason seemed so keen to spend time with them both that they nodded looking at each other... they knew they could curl up in bed together later and that's what mattered... everything was always ok when they cuddled together at the end of the day... pure comfort and love...


	74. Wednesday

When Serena woke... it was quite late in the morning... she knew that Bernie would be at work. They had talked into the early hours holding each other tightly and Serena had felt some sort of peace... briefly.

She thought about Bernie in their office... she knew there was paperwork to be done today which Bernie wasn't keen on... Serena knew she was more hands on... in more ways than one... and preferred getting stuck into theatre... trauma was her speciality after all.

She allowed herself to think of Bernie's hands... they were beautiful...she shook her head and reached for her mobile seeing a post it note on the side from Bernie left for her earlier 'I love you, have a nice chat with Essie later, call me if you need anything xx'.

Serena smiled a little... Essie was coming round this afternoon on her day off to see her and they would have a nice chat... Serena was looking forward to seeing her.

She heard Jason up and about and closed her eyes again just for a few minutes...

Bernie was stuck in the office catching up on paperwork... dull but necessary to keep things in check... she felt proud of keeping AAU running well with Serena off... she knew Serena would relax more knowing everything was being taken care of and the staff were all pulling together amazingly well.

Fletch came in to see her for a quick chat and he was still pinching himself about the money he had inherited... he seemed in a bit if a daze Bernie thought... it wasn't common knowledge... he obviously didn't want it broadcast. They chatted for a bit and then Fletch left Bernie to it not before asking after Serena. He knew how much Serena meant to Bernie and offered his support if she needed it.

At lunchtime she caught up with Dom in Pulses after texting him... she thought he seemed down and after yesterday's scenario she wanted to check how he was... she noticed that Issac had gone to Hawaii without him or he had chosen not to go and he seemed upset. He was glad of Bernie to chat to even though he didn't fully open up but he knew she supported him... they were mates... they had an understanding and thought a lot of each other. Bernie listened to him and knew he was still holding something back... she couldn't push anymore though it would have to come from him... she reassured him that he could talk to her at any time and he smiled at her gratefully.

"How's Serena...?" he was concerned how Bernie was doing supporting her partner. He didn't know Serena that well but he did like her and respected her hugely at the hospital. Bernie said it was such a difficult time but she loved her and was trying to help in whatever way she could. Dom nodded... "She is lucky to have you..." Bernie's cheeks flushed.

He asked after Cam as well and Bernie said she had heard from him yesterday evening... he had called her which she was mightily relieved about... he was doing well but surprisingly missing her, Charlotte and Holby... he didn't say Marcus which Bernie quietly smiled to herself about!

Serena watched some TV with Jason after she had got dressed and they sat drinking tea and having some biscuits... Jason was staying at Celia's tonight and he seemed on edge... "Are you ok...?" Serena touched his arm and he nodded... he didn't want Serena to worry about him... he would speak to Bernie about what was on his mind....

Serena reminded him that her friend Essie from the hospital was coming round at 2pm and he nodded... "I will be getting things ready in my bedroom for staying at Celia's anyway Auntie Serena... i'm glad you have a friend coming round..." she smiled and they carried on watching a new documentary that Jason was engrossed in.

Bernie was back in the office after lunch and settled into sorting out the patient notes... finishing signing off some files and saw her phone flash with a text... she wondered if it was Serena...she knew Essie was going round this afternoon to see her... she didn't know Essie too well but knew her and Serena were friends... she couldn't help a twinge of jealousy in her heart but quickly shook it away... Essie was an attractive blonde... not Bernie's type at all but she gathered she was a nice person... kind and smart... she shook her head again... where was this coming from... she knew Serena loved her and they were solid...

The text was actually from Jason... "Hello Bernie, can I call you this afternoon? Jason'. She was suddenly concerned and called his mobile... "Hi Jason... is everything ok?"

"Bernie, yes everything is fine, I just wanted to talk to you about Celia but it's fine, you are at work"

Bernie reassured him it was fine to talk and asked if Serena was there. He said she was but he wanted to talk to her instead... Bernie settled back in her chair... oh god... was this another sex talk...

"I want to sleep with Celia tonight and I am nervous..." Jason remembered talking to Bernie before about this situation and Bernie gulped... "Ok... does she want to... you know... tonight?"

Jason explained that they had talked about it and Celia had said she was ready to take things further but was nervous. Bernie felt herself nodding even though Jason couldn't see her on the end of the phone... "Ok... well why don't you cook her a nice meal and take things from there... slowly..." he sounded anxious and she talked him though what might start things off...

He felt relaxed talking to her and she tried to reassure him that things would be fine... he thanked her and left her to work. She did say he could text her though... "You know if you don't want to talk to Serena about it..." Jason said he didn't want to talk to her... too embarrassing and Bernie chuckled a little...

Essie arrived at 2.05pm and thought Serena looked exhausted... she gave her a tight hug and went inside handing Serena some yellow roses... "For you... thought they looked cheerful..." she smiled and Serena touched her arm lightly... "Thank you so much... come in... coffee?" Essie nodded and they went through to the kitchen...

Essie asked how Serena was doing and Serena spoke honestly..... she could trust Essie. Essie filled her in on the situation with her and Raf... she herself felt quite confused about what they were now and she told Serena about how she still loved Sacha... "You can't just turn these feelings off..." Serena nodded at her and managed a smile.

"How's Bernie...?" Essie knew what a rock Bernie was being to Serena at the moment... "Yes... she is amazing as always... really taking care of me..." Serena blushed a little. Essie noticed a photo on the kitchen windowsill of Serena with Bernie and Jason at Christmas and another of just the two of them... obviously before Elinor's death... Serena was beaming and Bernie was holding onto Serena tightly in the photo... Essie pointed them out and said how lovely the photo's were... Serena smiled and nodded... "That was before...." Essie touched her arm...

Just then Serena's mobile rang and she looked at Essie... Essie nodded indicating it was fine to take it... Serena saw it was Edward... she hesitated but then answered... "Hello..."

Essie only heard Serena's side of the conversation and went to get up to leave them to it but Serena looked at her and shook her head indicating it was fine to stay so she sat back down sipping her coffee...

"I'm not sure... can I think about it?" she heard Serena say. She noticed that Serena looked cross but also upset... "I have a friend round at the moment... I need to think about it and I will get back to you... yes ok..."

Serena hung up and took a deep breath... "Are you ok...?" Essie was concerned...

"He wants me to make a final decision about what we are going to do with the... ashes..." a tear trickled down Serena's cheek and Essie touched her arm again... "What would you like to do...?"

Serena just stared out of the window... "Bernie rang him for me last week and said I would think about it but I still don't know... he wants me to make a decision... but it's just too... hard..." They chatted and Essie tried to change the subject after a while... "Do you think you and Bernie will live together... soon?"

Serena looked at her... "I was going to ask her to move in... before....... now it's not the right time... it would be for the wrong reasons... it's not about us at the moment... of course I want to live with her... we do need bits of space as well right now though so... all in all... not the right time... but that doesn't mean I don't want her here every night..." she smiled at Essie and she smiled back... "I'm so glad you have her... you know..." Serena nodded thankfully...

Essie left at 4pm and Serena went upstairs to see if Jason was ok. He nodded... finishing packing his rucksack and gave her a hug before heading downstairs to get the bus... Serena would always offer to take him but was trying to let him be more independent and had got him a bus pass recently... he seemed ok with journeys he knew well so was taking it slowly...

She looked at her phone again... this time a text from Bernie... 'Hope you had a nice chat with Essie, home soon, finished everything and Raf is happy to cover for a bit, miss you xx'.

Serena smiled... she went to freshen up a bit and thought ahead to dinner... just the two of them tonight... bliss... she would make her lasagne that Bernie loved so much.

About fifteen minutes later she heard the key in the lock downstairs and rushed down to see Bernie for a cuddle... "Hi...." Bernie had bought wine in...

"Hi.... I missed you..." Serena hugged her tightly... then broke away gently to kiss her. "Jason is away tonight...." Bernie nodded... she knew this... big night for Jason!

They cuddled on the sofa for a bit... Bernie stroking Serena's hair lovingly and kissing her lazily... "How are you feeling...?" Bernie asked her this about five times a day which she thought was endearing...

"Edward called.... about the ashes... he wants a decision... by Friday..." Bernie looked cross... "Why the rush...?" Serena shrugged her shoulders... "He is going on holiday... extended break or something at the weekend and wants it done before then... but I don't know what I want to do with them..."

Bernie pulled her into a cuddle... "Don't be pressured... I will talk to him..." she kissed her hair and Serena relaxed against her shoulder... Bernie always made things better how ever awful they were...


	75. Thursday

When Bernie woke she immediately remembered she had the day off today... bliss... she turned to face Serena who was asleep on her pillow... face close to her shoulder and breathing heavily... Bernie reached to stroke her hair lovingly and stopped herself from kissing her beautiful lips... that could wait... Serena needed sleep.

She got up to use the bathroom and went downstairs to make some coffee... she checked her phone for any messages and saw that she had a text from Jason at 1.08am... 'We did it, Jason' Bernie nearly burst out laughing and looked at her phone smiling... that was really very funny... the way the text was written not Jason having sex of course...

She made some pancakes as she could now hear Serena pottering around upstairs and took the breakfast tray upstairs for them to share in bed...

"Hi..." Serena smiled at her getting back into bed... "Hi..." Bernie smiled back and put the tray on the side getting back into bed herself... she moved to kiss Serena and Serena let her... deepening the kiss herself...

They ate quietly chatting... Serena had slept a little better and Bernie stroked her leg gently... "Would you like to go for a walk today... I'm on a day off and it is meant to be nice weather... it may clear your head?" Serena nodded smiling at her and replied that it was a really lovely idea.

Bernie remembered Jason's text and showed Serena the text on her phone... Serena didn't know whether to be embarrassed or laugh... Bernie seemed to find it funny and she just wanted to make sure Jason was ok... Bernie reassured her that he would have been fine... she had had a chat with him about it... before...

Serena just cuddled against her lovingly... "Thank you... for doing that... I just can't really concentrate at the moment..." Serena did then find it amusing that Jason had asked Bernie for sex advice... Bernie pouted... "You don't think I could give good... sex advice... Serena...?" Serena chuckled... "Oh I know you could... I am just picturing it in my head... the conversation with Jason and it is... you know... awkward!!"

Bernie laughed... "Oh it was definitely awkward but I tried my best... let's hope he enjoyed himself... and Celia did too..." they smiled at each other. Serena knew that Bernie more than knew what she was doing in the bedroom department...

They both got ready leisurely for going out for a walk... Bernie wanted to take Serena back to the park and Serena thought it was a lovely idea... peaceful and relaxing... Bernie had offered to take her for a pub lunch afterwards as well if she felt up to it... there were some nice country style pubs near the park and Serena thought it was a nice idea for them to do together...

Before they left... Bernie gave Edward a call as she had promised Serena she would do... she went into the kitchen for some privacy and rang the number Serena had given her... it rang a few times then Edward answered... "Hello...?"

"Edward... Hi... it's Bernie... Serena's partner..." she took a breath...

"Hi Bernie... thanks for calling... does Serena know what she wants to do with the... ashes... I haven't heard back from her..."

"She is upset about rushing the decision... Edward... can she leave it until you come back from your trip... she says you are going away and there isn't any real rush is there?"

After putting Bernie on hold to talk about it with Liberty, Edward reluctantly agreed that it could wait until after his holiday... "I just wanted to try and move on... you know?" Bernie said that she understood and that him and Serena had different coping styles and methods but it really mattered to Serena not to rush things.

Edward thanked her for talking to him and asked how she was. Bernie chatted for a few minutes... she couldn't be off with him really... he seemed ok... the way he had treated Serena was in the past and even though she didn't like him for it... it was one of the reasons it had brought Serena to her at this place in time so all in all not too bad!!

Serena came into the kitchen just as Bernie had hung up the call and she filled her in on what had been discussed... Serena pulled Bernie into a tight hug and kissed her gently... "You are... wonderful... what did I do to deserve you... I love you so much". Bernie blushed and held her tightly... "Come on... let's head to the park..."

They walked for a while when they got there... the weather was nice and sunny... but chilly... Serena reached for Bernie's hand and they walked quietly along the path they had walked the past few times they had been here. Serena saw why Bernie liked it so much here and the trees looked beautiful... she thought of Elinor and when she was a little girl... playing in the park and a tear trickled down her cheek. Bernie didn't say anything she just squeezed Serena's hand tightly and they carried on walking... it was quiet and tranquil...

They sat down on a bench and took a rest... "It's ok to cry... Serena... I thought it might help to release your feelings here... you know... I can just... hold you..."

Serena leant her head on Bernie's shoulder and breathed in Bernie's perfume... comforting... gorgeous... she let tears fall down her cold cheeks and Bernie stroked her hair... they sat like this for maybe half an hour before getting up to walk round the lake...

Serena's heart hurt but it was beautiful here and the peace and nature did heal something within... well start to... Bernie walked by her side... holding her hand and she felt so proud to have Bernie as her partner...

They went to a quiet pub for a bite to eat after their walk... the owner was nice and there were a few people in there but not loads... they had some good pub food and a glass of wine each before heading back to Serena's.

Jason was already in the house and seemed fairly hyper... "Hi... Jason..." Serena eyed him carefully as they came through the door from the cold into the hall...

"Auntie Serena... Bernie... i'm a man now..." and with that he turned to go back upstairs turning to Bernie when Serena had gone into the lounge with a thumbs up sign...

Bernie chuckled and followed Serena into the room... they both sat on the sofa and cuddled together naturally... "Thank you for today..." Serena kissed her cheek lovingly.

"I just hope it helped a bit and you enjoyed lunch..." Bernie smiled at her... "Why don't you go and have a rest upstairs... you look tired..."

Serena nodded and checked Bernie was staying that night... Bernie smiled and nodded... "Of course... I may go back to my flat tomorrow though for a bit as Charlotte wants to meet up with me so I might spend some time with her... if that's ok?" Serena nodded "Of course..." she smiled at Bernie and headed upstairs...

Jason came down when he realised Bernie was alone in the lounge and talked her through what had happened... last night... in detail... Bernie felt her cheeks flush and tried not to come across as awkward... she needed to be cool and calm here and she thought it was actually adorable that Jason wanted to share this with her... she actually felt kind of honoured.

She gathered the whole evening for him had been a success and she smiled at him... "See... there you go... you were worried and it all went fine..." Jason nodded and went to make them some cups of tea in the kitchen. He wanted to watch TV with her while Serena was resting and they settled to watch a documentary they were both keen on seeing...

"Bernie..." Jason looked at her from the other sofa...

"Yes... Jason...?"

"I am so lucky to have you..." Bernie beamed at him and told him that she would always be there for him...


	76. Friday

Bernie was having a busy morning being back on AAU for the day, things had been piling up during the week and there was masses to do. She took a sip of coffee in the office and headed back out on to the wards thinking about Serena... she knew Ric was going round to see her today to discuss what he had found out from Elinor's test results.

Serena woke and immediately missed Bernie... she knew she was at work and they were spending the night apart as Charlotte was staying with Bernie tonight and she felt a little panicky... Bernie was always a constant supportive presence and she wasn't coming home later.... she sent her a text and then got up to get something to eat from the kitchen.

Bernie didn't read Serena's text until an hour later as she was rushed off her feet... 'I miss you, I love you so much xx'.

Bernie felt her heart sink... Serena must be feeling low today as she knew she wouldn't say she missed her when they were going to be apart otherwise as she knew it would make Bernie feel bad. She quickly typed back... 'I love you too, always, let me take you out tomorrow, hope everything goes ok with Ric, let me know, miss you too sweetheart xx'.

Serena read Bernie's text and her heart melted... that felt slightly better... she saw Jason in the kitchen and they chatted for a bit eating breakfast together. Jason asked if Celia could stay tonight and Serena nodded. "Things are going well then...?" she smiled at him while sipping her coffee.

He nodded beaming... "Yes we slept together the other day and it was brilliant". Serena knew this of course from Bernie and Jason had in fact hinted the other day that things had progressed but they hadn't actually chatted about it...

"So... you are feeling ok about it... taking your relationship further... Jason?" Serena spoke cautiously here... she was a little uncomfortable...

"Yes... I love Celia... things are great... we are like you and Bernie..." she smiled at this... Bernie...wonderful... gorgeous Bernie who was hers...

Serena reminded Jason that Ric was coming round shortly and he nodded saying he would 'stay out of the way'. Serena shook her head... "You don't have to do that Jason... I just wanted you to know he was coming round".

Serena got ready upstairs and had just about finished when there was a knock at the door. She went downstairs and greeted Ric... he gave her a kiss on the cheek and stepped inside the hall.

"How are you... Serena..?" Serena shrugged and told him she had better days and... worse days... she mentioned trying to come back to work next week and Ric gave her a look... "Too soon...?" Serena shrugged again.. "I won't know unless I try... I guess... I would like to keep busy... and Bernie is at work... I kind of want to be around her...".

She blushed at this and Ric smiled at her... "We'll see... ok... see how you feel after the weekend... let me know Monday? You can always come back part way through the week... you know... not too much to start with...." she smiled at him and made them some coffee's in the kitchen.

"How are you... Ric...?" Serena settled on the sofa in the lounge with Ric perched on the other one. He filled her in on what had been happening at the hospital and that he had planned a holiday soon. She smiled... "So... you have found something out I gather... about... the test results that you were looking into for me...".

He took a deep breath and nodded... "I'm afraid the tests I was able to find show that Elinor did have traces of Cocaine in her system...".

Serena wasn't surprised but her heart sank and tears rolled down her cheeks almost immediately. Ric moved to sit beside her and put an arm round her shoulder... "It's ok... Serena...".

Serena shook her head... "How could she have done that... drugs... Ric... she was such a bright... girl".

Ric nodded... "Sometimes people can surprise and shock us...". Serena just sank back onto the sofa... her head in her hands... she wanted Bernie...

Jason came into the lounge at that moment and said hello to Ric. He looked at Serena and motioned to Jason to go and chat with him in the kitchen...

"Is Auntie Serena...ok?" Jason was concerned. Ric explained that he had just informed her that Elinor had traces of drugs... Cocaine in her system on the test results he had managed to retrieve. Jason looked shocked... "Oh no..." Ric touched his arm briefly and asked how he was.... generally after his accident...

Jason explained that he was feeling much better now and would like to try coming back to work... maybe part time for a week or two to ease him back in. Ric smiled and agreed that was a sensible approach and he would expect him on Monday.... but to take it easier than normal while he was there... "I will let the rest of the porters know..." Jason smiled at him and went to be with Serena in the lounge taking her some biscuits in...

"Auntie Serena... " he hugged her tightly on the sofa and she held him back. Ric stayed for a few more moments and then said he had to get back to the hospital. Serena got up then to show him out and thank him... "I will hopefully see you on Tuesday... Ric and thanks again... for getting that information for me... it is appreciated...".

"Take care... Serena and hopefully see you next week... no pressure though...ok".

He gave her brief hug... which Serena thought was unusual for Ric and headed off. Jason then came to the door and leant his head on her shoulder... "I bet you miss Bernie...".

She nodded and he went to make her a strong cup of tea while she went for a rest on the bed upstairs...

Bernie was looking forward to spending the evening with Charlotte... she knew Charlotte was a bit down after splitting with her boyfriend and she wanted to cheer her up... wanting to do what she had wanted for ages... to spend quality time with her.

She left work early... Morven covering for her and picked up some things at the supermarket for a night in with her daughter before going to her flat to sort things out before Charlotte arrived later. Bernie had hardly spent anytime at the flat in recent times... she put the heating on and the food away in the kitchen... everywhere was tidy but she wanted to make sure the spare room was ok for Charlotte to stay in... she felt excited...

She sent a quick text to Serena as she realised she hadn't heard from her this afternoon and she knew that Ric had been round.

Serena woke up late afternoon and read Bernie's text straight away... 'Hope you are ok, what did Ric say? thinking of you Serena, I love you xx'.

Serena quickly typed back... 'I love you too, Ric said there were traces of Cocaine in Elinor's system, not feeling great but Jason and Celia are here tonight, enjoy your time with Charlotte, i'm fine really, will text you later xx'.

Bernie felt bad about not being with Serena but suddenly there was a knock at her door and she knew it would be Charlotte...

"Mum... hi..." Charlotte hugged her and stepped inside the hall with a bottle of nice wine and her holdall. Bernie hugged her back tightly and smiled at her... "How are you...?" Charlotte just shrugged... "You know..." Bernie nodded and showed her through to the lounge.

They chatted and Bernie cooked them a pasta meal she had cooked before so knew it would be fairly ok... Charlotte was impressed and they ate and drank the wine chatting about Charlotte's uni course and Bernie's work.

Celia arrived at Serena's and Serena gave her a brief hug. "Hi... Serena... how are you?" Celia cared about her and tried to reassure Serena that her and Jason wouldn't get in her way tonight... Serena managed a smile at her... "It's fine really... I want you to relax here..." Celia nodded and went through to see Jason in the kitchen... he was cooking for the three of them and the kitchen looked extremely messy Serena had noticed ten minutes earlier...

She sat in the lounge... looking at the TV and thinking about what Ric had said and then her mind turned to Bernie and Charlotte... she really wished she was with them... she liked Charlotte a lot and wanted to feel their presence.

After their meal Bernie and Charlotte sat on the sofa and watched a film that Charlotte had picked from Bernie's Sky Movies subscription. They drank more wine and Charlotte asked after Serena... Bernie's eyes welled up but she tried to stay strong... "She has worse days than others... it is so hard for her... and to see her like that and not be able to make it better..."

Charlotte reached for Bernie's hand and held it... "You do make her feel better... mum... you are her strength at the moment and your love will get her through this awful time... I know it..." Bernie managed a smile at her daugher and nodded... "I hope so... it will take a long time..." Charlotte hugged her and Bernie let herself be hugged.

"Do you think... Serena might like to come shopping with me some time...?" Charlotte was looking at her mum and Bernie nodded... "I'm sure she would... you get on... don't you and Serena loves shopping... as do you..." she smiled at her thoughtful daughter.

"Why don't you text her... I'll give you her number... she seems down tonight..." Bernie told Charlotte about the drugs situation and Charlotte was shocked. She typed a text to Serena and sent it sipping some more wine and going back to watching the film she had picked... 'a chick flick' that her mum was pretending to enjoy for her sake!

Serena saw her phone flash after dinner with Jason and Celia and read it thinking it would be from Bernie. She was surprised that it was a number she didn't recognise and then realised it was from Charlotte... 'Hi Serena, just seeing how you are? I'm making mum watch a chick flick, she doesn't seem to be enjoying it though! Would you like to go shopping with me some time? When you are feeling up to it of course, I would like that, take care, Charlotte x'.

Serena smiled at this thoughtful text and replied straight away... 'I would love that, thank you, let me know when you are free, you must be busy with uni, hope it's going ok. Your mum isn't much of a chick flick fan i'm afraid, tell her I love her, hope you are having a nice evening together, Serena x'.

Charlotte showed Bernie Serena's text and Bernie smiled at the 'I love her' bit and that Serena and Charlotte were going to spend some time together... that melted her heart and thanked Charlotte for that. Charlotte shrugged... "I really like her... we have things in common and she needs some support at the moment... it might cheer her up".

Bernie touched her arm... she had a lovely daughter and she was so very thankful that their relationship was building and building again... she was so lucky to have her and Cam and of course Serena who she would do anything for...

She quickly typed a text to Serena... "I love you so deeply... you mean everything to me... Charlotte wants to support you too, lovely that you will be spending some time together... miss you xx'.

Serena was watching TV with Jason and Celia and typed back a text before heading to bed... "You mean everything to me too darling... enjoy the rest of your evening, i'm heading to bed now, can't wait to see you tomorrow, come round whenever you want to, I love you xx'.

Bernie sighed happily receiving the text back from Serena and settled to watch the rest of the film with her daughter... happy and content...


	77. Saturday

Bernie woke up early even though it had been late when she had got to bed as Charlotte had stayed over. She couldn't hear any noise in the flat so guessed Charlotte was still asleep in the spare room. She went quietly through to the lounge and tidied up after last night checking her phone to see if Serena had text her... just the goodnight text before Serena had fallen asleep last night. She missed her and sent a text for when Serena woke up... she couldn't wait to head over late morning to see her and spend the rest of the day together hopefully the rest of the weekend... she was hoping...

Charlotte came out of the bedroom looking sleepy and Bernie made her a cup of tea and put some bacon under the grill to make them some breakfast. Charlotte had slept well but had to get going soon as she was going to go and visit Cam. Bernie gave her an envelope to give to him and set about making Charlotte some lunch to take with her on the train.

Serena woke up to see a lovely text from Bernie... god she had missed her last night... 'Good morning sweetheart, hope you slept well, missed you so much, I will come round about 11.30am, can't wait to see you xx'. She smiled and sent a reply straight back feeling comfy in bed... 'Missed you more, I slept ok, always better when I sleep with you, can't wait to see you too, let me take you out for lunch xx'.

Serena heard Jason cleaning upstairs and used her en suite to have a shower and get dressed before heading downstairs to make some breakfast checking with Jason first whether he wanted any which he did...

They both sat chatting in the kitchen and Jason was concerned how she was. He knew she had missed Bernie last night and was happy she was coming back today. He was going to be spending the night with Alan to catch up with him so after washing up the breakfast things he headed back to his room to pack his things.

Bernie dropped Charlotte off at the train station and hugged her tightly asking her to give Cam a hug from her. Charlotte thanked her mum for a lovely evening last night and that she would see her again very soon.

Bernie drove to Serena's and when she let herself in Serena was in the kitchen... coming straight through to the hall to pull her into the tightest hug. They held onto each other and Serena leaned in to kiss Bernie firmly.... "God... I missed you... so much..." Serena whispered and Bernie smiled at her before leaning to kiss her again.

Jason came downstairs slowly... as he could hear kissing sounds... and cleared his throat to alert them to his presence. "Umm hi Jason..." Bernie pulled apart from Serena and went to give him a hug which he beamed at. He explained to her that he was going to Alan's and Bernie offered to give him a lift which he gratefully accepted as it was a chilly day and Serena gave her a gorgeous smile... Bernie had missed those... they were returning on the odd occasion...

Serena was all ready for them to go out for lunch when Bernie got back... she had wanted to treat her for being so amazing lately and lunches out were something low key that she could manage at the moment... with Bernie by her side... she had wondered where to go that Bernie may like and decided on something casual... Bernie always liked the more laid back approach... really...

When she heard the key in the lock indicating Bernie was back, Serena came back downstairs noticing that Bernie wasn't carrying her holdall... "Are you staying tonight...?" Serena looked hopeful and Bernie's heart melted... "Of course... if you would like me too... I have my bag in the car... I just didn't want to presume... anything..."

Serena reached for Bernie's hand... "I need... and want you so much... I hope you enjoyed spending time with Charlotte last night though... how is she?". Serena hoped Charlotte was feeling a bit better after going through the break up with her boyfriend. Bernie filled her in while they had a quick coffee and she got her bag out of the car bringing it into the lounge... Serena smiling at her.

Bernie wanted to know where they were going for lunch and Serena suggested Zizzi as they both liked Italian and it was a change... more casual for a weekend lunch...

"I was thinking afterwards we could go and see the new art exhibition... which is quite near to the restaurant... if you don't mind...?" Serena was looking forward to browsing round... she found art galleries... peaceful and inspiring... maybe it would help her with her emotions at the moment...

Bernie gave her a puzzled look... "I didn't know you liked art..." Serena shrugged... "I do... I like looking at it... some I don't understand but it would be nice to browse round together... do you mind...?"

Bernie smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her... "Of course I don't mind... Serena... I am always happy to do whatever you like..." Serena squeezed her hand and nodded... "Shall we go soon..." Bernie gave her another soft, gentle kiss and nodded before taking her bag back up to Serena's room where it belonged.

They had a lovely lunch together... it wasn't too busy and Bernie was keen to avoid the conversation topic of the drugs which she knew would still be at the front of Serena's mind after yesterday. She didn't want Serena upset. They chatted about Bernie still trying with the e-cigarette's which was going ok but she wanted to do better, hopefully cutting down more before stopping for good which Serena was impressed with her determination on this.

They also chatted about Serena going for grief counselling on Bernie's suggestion. Serena wasn't sure at all about it but Bernie asked her to think about it... "What you have been through... Serena... it is so much for you to process... and deal with..." Serena nodded agreeing with her... "I'm just not sure about talking to a stranger... you know..." Bernie understood... of course she did... many people had tried to get her to go to counselling to help deal with what she had witnessed in Afghanistan and also when she was going through her messy and difficult divorce as well as actually coming to terms with her sexuality and accepting it.

Serena noticed Bernie lost in thought and let her come to in her own time. They enjoyed the food very much and Serena picked up the bill, Bernie thanking her. Serena smiled at her... "You have been so wonderful to me... especially lately... and I wanted to say thank you... properly... what you have done and are doing... is so appreciated..." she took Bernie's hand and laced their fingers together. Bernie blushing slightly... "Anyone would do the same for you... if they loved you... which I do... very very much". This time Serena was blushing and got up to put her coat on... "Come on.... let's head to the gallery..."

Bernie wasn't sure about art galleries... well modern art anyway... some of it looked ridiculous to her... Serena though wanted to look at each piece and think about it...

Bernie smiled to herself watching her gorgeous partner absorbed in scupture and watercolours... she tried to look at each piece carefully but soon got bored after a while... pretending not to be... Serena noticed and smiled at her... "Not keen then..."

Bernie shrugged... "Some of the pieces are ok... some... I really don't understand... but i'm fine just being with you... I like watching you look at them..." Serena leant her head on Bernie's shoulder for a few seconds smiling up at her. Bernie thought she looked completely beautiful and whispered in her ear to tell her that. Serena then reached for her hand and even though Bernie wasn't too sure about them holding hands in the gallery... Serena held it tightly and Bernie felt herself relax more after a few minutes... public affection didn't really come easily to her...

Serena felt the art gallery had soothed her a little... she knew it hadn't been Bernie's sort of thing but it had been nice to do after lunch that was low key and casual before heading back to the house. While Bernie was driving them back, Serena sent a text to Jason to check he was ok and having a nice time at Alan's...

Bernie's heart melted at how Serena looked out for Jason... it was so heartfelt and endearing...

When they got in... Serena went to make them some cups of tea while Bernie relaxed in the lounge. They settled on the sofa in each others arms to relax and watch a film... happily cuddling and planting kisses on each other at intervals...

Bernie asked Serena if she had any more thoughts about the drugs information Ric had come back with from the test results and Serena explained that after thinking about it she wanted to get more information of what had happened some how... "Something was not picked up on... I know it... I will get to the bottom of it..." she lay her head in Bernie's lap stretching her legs out on the sofa and Bernie stroked her hair leaning down to kiss her lips gently... Serena got caught up in the kiss and they were gradually kissing... madly... on the sofa... Bernie broke away... "Sorry... "

Serena smiled... "Please don't apologise... for kissing me... your kisses always make me feel better... you know". Bernie didn't feel as bad then... they lay back down on the sofa together and continued... slowing down and it became more sensual... they had all the time in the world...


	78. Tuesday (Day/Evening of Of Lions and Lambs Episode)

It had been a tense few days for Bernie and Serena... they had spent a very unusual two nights apart... mainly because Bernie felt Serena was feeling a little smothered at the moment and needed some time on her own. Bernie had the time off work so it was a good opportunity for her to go and stay with her cousin in London without Serena feeling too bad about them having some time apart...

Serena had missed Bernie... she did however want some breathing space to go after something she knew Bernie wouldn't approve of... getting hold of confidential files... Elinor's patient review case. She had been thinking since last week how she could get hold of these at the hospital... Ric wouldn't be allowed to get them for her but she had suddenly thought on Sunday about a way in... bit unethical and Bernie would have not been happy but she was determined to get hold of the file to look through for herself...

Duncan was the key... she just knew it... Duncan worked in the office where the files were held and she knew he had a particular soft spot for her... a little flirting couldn't do any harm... could it? Bernie must not know about this though... so when Bernie had mentioned visiting her cousin on her days off Serena had encouraged her to go explaining that yes some space would be healthy for them as they had been with each other practically 24/7 for weeks... Bernie had looked hurt but she was so understanding as always so they had kissed goodbye early on Sunday morning and Serena had put her plan into action...

Monday morning she had gone into the office where Duncan worked... he was wearing a suit and she put on her best smile. "Hello...  Ms Campbell... how are you doing? I was so sorry to hear about... your daughter..." Duncan came up to her and put his hand on her shoulder. She did her best not to flinch and smiled at him... "Hi... Duncan... I am doing... as well as can be expected... I wondered if you could help me out with something though?". She stopped and smiled at him fluttering her eyelashes slightly... god this was painful.. but necessary...

"What can I do for you... Ms Campbell... I would be glad to help with anything at the moment...". He touched her arm and she let him hold it there... "I was very much hoping I could have access to my daughter's patient files... you know... confidentially of course... I wouldn't want you to get into any trouble..." she fluttered her eyelashes again knowing she was taking a risk here...

He had nodded immediately... "Of course... I shouldn't really... but for you..." he had smiled and spoke that he could photocopy them for her... the originals had to stay in the office but he would get them to her in the morning. They had agreed a meeting in the car park as neither wanted to get into trouble for doing this.

The file had been handed over in her car earlier this morning and she was so grateful... it had however caused a scene with Bernie in the office this afternoon that she would like to erase from her memory... she felt awful about grabbing the file out of Bernie's hand and speaking to her like she had... she felt mortified... Bernie didn't deserve that... she had only been looking out for her...

Serena thought about Bernie and knew she had to apologise... she knew Bernie had been avoiding her for the rest of the afternoon and they hadn't yet been in the same room since...

She had heard Morven ask Bernie to go for a drink at Albie's with her and Jasmine after their shifts finished and so knew where Bernie was going... she sent her a text as she was in the process of comforting a relative she knew after her husband had just died so didn't want to leave her and didn't fancy the pub just yet... today had been extremely emotional and upsetting.

Bernie avoided the office until she knew Serena was out of it for at least half an hour and went in to collect her bag and coat. As she packed her bag she saw she had a text from Serena on her mobile... 'I am so very sorry for earlier, it was unforgivable, I know you were trying to take care of me and I am truly sorry. Please come round after Albie's? You don't have to stay the night just want to see you, I love you xx'.

Bernie's heart melted as she typed a reply on the way out of the hospital and along to the pub...

Serena sat in the office knowing Bernie had now gone and sighed... she had just changed the schedule on the computer so that she would be teaching for the next week on AAU particularly Jasmine... she knew she had to mentor her to make sure she was on top form... no more slip ups...

She saw her mobile flash with a reply... she hoped from Bernie... she read it... 'I love you too, I will come and see you after drinks, won't stay tonight, maybe tomorrow though, have missed you xx'.

Serena let herself breath deeply... lovely Bernie... forgiving and gorgeous... Serena knew that she had behaved badly today... it had been a gut reaction to snatch the file out of Bernie's hand and shout... but now she just realised how hurtful that must have been to her loving partner... she shuddered and was so glad that she would see Bernie later. She packed up her things and text Jason to say she was on the way home... he was going to cook tonight...

Bernie enjoyed chatting with Morven and Jasmine... they were nice girls she liked them... they had seen that she must be having a stressful time at the moment and had asked her for a drink... she thought that was lovely of them even though they were much younger... she thought alot of them. She stayed for one with them and then set off for Serena's...

Serena and Jason had eaten but Jason had kindly saved a portion of pie for Bernie if she wanted it...

Serena heard a knock at the door and went to open it... seeing Bernie's beautiful face she pulled her into the tightest cuddle... "I am so so sorry... for today". Bernie held her back tightly and buried her face in Serena's hair. "It's ok... I know you didn't mean it..." they were still holding each other tightly as Jason passed them in the hall to go upstairs and he quietly smiled at Bernie who could see him and went upstairs. He had missed Bernie being around the last few days and knew he should let them have some privacy...

Serena lead Bernie by the hand into the kitchen... "Have you eaten...? Jason has left you some dinner if you would like it?" Bernie smiled at her and let Serena warm the food up in the microwave for her... also making her a coffee. They sat quietly and Bernie asked how Serena was feeling...

Serena sighed and spoke about reading the last article that Elinor had written... Bernie smiled and reached for her hand... "It's nice you got to read that... she was really amazing at writing.. she would have made a brilliant journalist..." Serena nodded a tear trickling down her cheek and when Bernie moved to hold her tightly again Serena couldn't hold back a quiet sob... Bernie stroked her back and tried her best to be comforting.

Bernie gently asked about the patient files... "Ummm... Serena I have to ask... how did you get hold of Elinor's file... aren't those confidential...?" Serena just nodded and said she knew someone who worked in the office who had got copies for her... Bernie shook her head slowly and Serena knew what she had done was wrong. She gave a pleading look to Bernie who just squeezed her hand tighter.

"I just had to read it... for my own peace of mind..." Bernie understood but was still not used to seeing this side of Serena... breaking rules... outbursts at work... this wasn't Serena and she was deeply concerned that Serena had returned to work far too soon...

She just cuddled her partner tightly but made a deal with herself to keep a close eye on her at work... she felt responsible as her partner and Co-Lead that Serena's well-being was her priority... 


	79. Wednesday

It was the middle of the afternoon and they were both busy on AAU, they had barely seen each other all day and when they met in the office for a quick ten minute break and a coffee Bernie went to sit on Serena's desk... she pushed a small card across to Serena who was sat on her chair and Serena looked up at her...

"What's this..." she picked up the white card with writing on it and started to read what it said. "It's a counselling session i've booked for you... this afternoon... 5pm... I thought I would take you and you can see how you get on... he's recommended for grief and well... will you go and try it...?" Serena looked at her... mouth slightly open and nodded sipping her coffee slowly... "Thank you... yes I will at least give it a go... you will come with me...?" Bernie nodded reaching for her hand squeezing it gently... "Of course... I will wait in the waiting area for you while you are in there and drive you home afterwards...".

Serena noticed that Bernie had shut the door when she had entered the office with the coffee's and she moved to gently kiss Bernie thanking her and leaning her head slightly on her shoulder. They stayed like this quietly for a few seconds before Bernie moved and pulled her into a quick cuddle... "I love you and just want what's best for you... I hope you know that... if the sessions don't help then at least you tried it...".

Serena kissed her again... "Thank you... was the session expensive...?" Bernie looked down and told her to forget about it. "I would do anything... to help and well... just go and see how you get on..." she smiled at Serena and Serena managed a smile... "I will text Jason to let him know we will be later back... Bernie looked at her and Serena reached for her hand again... "You will come for tea and stay tonight...?" Bernie grinned... "Yes of course... if you would like me to... i've missed you".

They both made sure they were finished for 4.45pm thanks to Fletch and Morven taking over some of the work and they set off in their cars to the private counselling building across town. They both pulled up outside... parking and getting out at the same time, locking their cars and heading to the entrance. Bernie reached for Serena's hand and they walked in together following the signs to the Reception area. Serena thought it looked a classy place and it had a relaxing feel to it... maybe it was to help put people at ease when they came here... did she feel at ease...? No... but she was doing this for Bernie... lovely Bernie who wanted to help her so badly.

They sat in the waiting area and Bernie felt nervous... it wasn't her going in there but even so she felt anxious for Serena... she hoped she had done the right thing here... she took a deep breath... there was nothing to lose... was there?

After five minutes a smart dressed middle aged man appeared at his door just off left from the seating area and called for Serena to go in. Serena took a deep breath and looked at Bernie... "Here goes..." she kissed Bernie on the cheek and followed the man inside the room...

Bernie flicked through a glossy magazine and sipped some water from the machine... her heart was racing and she kept checking the clock on the wall... only six minutes had passed... how was Serena getting on...? She made herself read and try to forget it... difficult though...

Serena sat down on the chair in front of the large desk and looked at the man behind it. "Serena... i'm Mr Fellows... please call me Matthew though..." he smiled at her and Serena managed a smile back. "Why don't you tell me why you are here Serena?" Serena took a deep breath and stuttered... "Ummm... well my daughter died... in January and I'm finding it very difficult... i'm not coping well..." she stopped and looked at him waiting for what he was going to say...

"I'm so sorry to hear that Serena... what was your daughter like?" he had kind eyes and Serena started to describe Elinor to him... he nodded thoughtfully in all of the right places and let her talk. She immediately went into what had happened with Elinor's death and how sudden it had all been.

He nodded again taking notes and when she stopped talking he looked at her kindly... "That must have been a hell of a shock for you... and she was so young... do you have support at home...?" Serena nodded fiercely... "Yes... my partner Bernie... we don't live together but she stays with me most of the time and has been so brilliant... I also look after my adult nephew who lives with me... he has Aspergers...". He nodded writing this information down... "So you have a long term stable relationship..." Serena nodded.

They went on to talk about Serena's work and how she had taken a bit of time off but was back at work now... "I need to work..." she told him... "I can't just sit around with nothing to do... I would go completely mad..." he looked at her kindly again... "Serena we all need time to process our feelings... this sought of shock... it will not just go away... if you push the feelings away..." She looked down at the desk and let him continue to explain the importance of feeling the pain and sticking with it... riding it out even rather than numbing it.

Serena thought he made sense and she found him easy to talk to... she noticed the time and he nodded. "Are you able to come and see me again...?". She managed a smile at him... "Yes I think it would help... next week...?". He said to book an appointment with Reception and got up to shake her hand... "Take care of yourself Serena and let others help and support you at the moment..." she nodded and left the room looking immediately for Bernie...

"Hi... how was it..?" Bernie stood up with her coat and passed Serena's bag to her. Serena smiled at her and went straight to Reception to book another appointment for in five days time. Bernie beamed at her... "So... it was ok... it helped?" Serena nodded as they walked out to their cars together... "Yes... I think it will help... thank you... for giving me that gentle push..." Bernie smiled at her and looked into her eyes... "I'm just so glad it helped... a little and you are going to go back... that's really great Serena...".

They parted to drive to Serena's house and when they got there Jason was already at the door to let them in. He was smiling at them and wanted to know how Serena had got on at her counselling session. Serena said she would tell him over tea and Bernie thinking on her feet suggested fish and chips which Jason beamed at. He didn't fancy cooking... it was his night and he would much rather eat tasty fish and chips!

He went with Bernie to fetch them while Serena had a few minutes to herself. They talked in the car about how Serena was getting on as Jason was concerned. Bernie tried to put his mind at rest that Serena was accepting some professional help with her grief and Jason was very pleased to hear this news, he had been so worried about his Auntie. They picked up tea and made their way back to the house...

Serena took some deep breaths while Bernie and Jason were out... the counselling had been better than she had thought... maybe this was the way forward... Bernie was so kind to research a good therapist for her and giving her that gentle nudge... she loved Bernie and wanted to make it up to her for the last few days... she would hold her tightly tonight and tell her what she meant to her... she wanted Bernie to know how much she appreciated her and loved her... she was her rock.


	80. Saturday

Bernie's alarm went off and she stirred to see Serena nestled into her side... arm round her waist holding on tightly. She smiled down at her and reached to turn the alarm off on her mobile. She left Serena sleeping and got ready for work using the main bathroom shower and dressing in there so not to wake Serena. She left her a note on the bedside and went downstairs to grab some fruit and coffee before heading for the hospital... she was working long days this weekend... she didn't mind so much... there was a lot to catch up with and she would be working with Raf and Morven who she liked very much, they all worked well as a team... she would miss Serena though.

She knew Serena was shopping with Charlotte today after she had helped with the arrangements last night between them, it made her smile... her partner and daughter spending time together today... wow... she was lucky... they got on well and she thought fondly of her daughter who was making the effort to support Serena at this difficult time and knowing that Bernie was working all weekend had offered to take Serena shopping after they had discussed it last week.

Serena woke to her alarm at 10.30am, she moved over to Bernie's side of the bed remembering she would be at work by now and inhaled her scent on the bottom of her pillow... it was comforting... she was looking forward to meeting up with Charlotte in a while... that would be nice.. nice to get to know her more and get out of the house.. it would take her mind off things a bit... it wouldn't make her feel sad as she hadn't been shopping with Elinor very much... it wasn't something they did... maybe it would be a new thing with Charlotte...

Jason had already gone out and she saw a note on the kitchen table from him saying he would be back for tea tonight, she smiled at how independent he was becoming... he always let her know where he was though which was nice. She sat quietly at the table drinking coffee and eating a yoghurt thinking that she should go and get ready soon. Charlotte was coming round at 11.30am and then Serena was driving them into town for something to eat and some shopping.

Bernie sent Serena a text on her break, the morning had gone quite quickly as she had been theatre with Raf.

Serena saw Bernie's text and smiled... 'Have fun with Charlotte, thinking of you, I love you Serena xx'. She typed back a reply and then hit the shower before dressing and making another coffee before Charlotte was going to arrive.

Charlotte arrived on time and Serena opened the door giving her a hug. Charlotte smiled and said how nice Serena looked which made her blush... she had put on her nicest casual clothes and felt nice to go out. They settled easily into conversation in Serena's car on the drive into town and parked in the multistorey... walking leisurely along the street to find somewhere to eat. Serena let Charlotte choose and she picked an independent Italian cafe just off the high street.

Bernie was on the ward in the afternoon with Morven, they worked easily together and Morven was asking after Cam. Bernie really hoped he would come back to Holby at some point and get together with Morven, she had a feeling that Morven liked him and she knew he liked her. They sat having a break in the office and Morven asked how Serena was really doing... it was easier to ask without Serena on the ward. Bernie took a deep breath and explained that it was really tough but that Serena had been to a counselling session and was going to go at least once a week to see if it would help her. Morven nodded... she understood how deeply grief affected someone and thought maybe she should have had some counselling after Arthur's death.

Serena and Charlotte had a quick bite to eat and Charlotte was telling Serena all about her uni course... she had a dissertation she was working on and had some study leave. Serena was interested in what she was studying and thought Charlotte showed Bernie's intelligence. She had a softer side to her than Bernie though and was not afraid of showing affection and emotions... Serena wondered if this was something Marcus had taught her or encouraged or whether that was just part of her natural personality but Serena found her warm and mature for her age. Charlotte wanted to hear more about Serena's life before she had met her mum. Serena was happy to chat and insisted on paying for lunch which Charlotte argued about but eventually gave in to.

They walked along the street towards the main shopping centre. Charlotte wanted to look for a new outfit... she had a date with a male friend the next day and Serena really enjoyed helping her to pick something and had endless patience sitting outside changing rooms and giving her opinion. She felt this was lovely and noticed how Charlotte's style was very feminine. Charlotte valued Serena's opinion and had a really lovely time with her mum's partner. Charlotte bought a top and new scarf and they headed back to Serena's with some cakes from Marks & Spencers to enjoy with a cup of tea.

Jason was already there when they got back and he happily greeted Charlotte who gave him a brief hug. They all sat eating cake and drinking tea. Serena felt happier... more at peace... the pain was still there but she had had a lovely day and was enjoying Charlotte's company and now Jason's too. "Is mum coming here after work...?" Charlotte was keen to see her mum but Serena mentioned it would be later when Bernie got back tonight as she was working until 8pm. Charlotte sighed and Serena said she could stay for tea with them if she would like to. Charlotte nodded and smiled happily going to sit with Jason in the lounge to watch TV with him for a bit while Serena went upstairs to have a rest.

At 7.30pm Serena got up to cook dinner for when Bernie got back. She went downstairs to the kitchen hearing Jason and Charlotte giggling at the computer. Jason had moved his Playstation downstairs so they could play more easily together. Serena smiled at them and went to make her vegetable lasgane with couscous for when Bernie got home... she had missed her.

Bernie sent a text at 8pm saying she had finished and was on her way... Serena smiled and set the table for all of them. Charlotte hugged her mum when she came through the door and she came to give Serena a kiss. Jason then felt left out so gave Bernie a hug too!

Bernie beamed at them all who were happy to see her and she happily settled at the table to eat with them and hear all about their days. Charlotte showed her what she had bought on her shopping trip with Serena and Bernie reached for Serena's hand under the table... "Did you have a nice time...?" she whispered and Serena nodded at her smiling back. Bernie wanted to know about the boy Charlotte was going on a date with tomorrow. Charlotte brushed it off slightly but Bernie and Serena could tell she was pleased this friend had asked her out... they were going to the cinema and for a meal.

Charlotte left after tea as she needed to get back to do some work before bed and Jason left Serena and Bernie to it going up to his room to read before bed.

Bernie pulled Serena into a cuddle on the sofa and thanked her for spending time with her daughter. Serena stroked her thigh lovingly... "I had a really lovely time... Charlotte is so nice Bernie... a really lovely young woman". Bernie beamed at her... "Afraid I can't take the credit... it's thanks to Marcus really... he's done a good job with them". Serena kissed her lips gently... "It's down to you too... she has your kindness and generosity". Bernie blushed and suggested she run Serena a relaxing bath. Serena just wanted to be held by Bernie though and they made their way up to the bedroom collapsing onto Serena's bed with Bernie rubbing Serena's shoulders lovingly. Serena let out a soft moan and pulled her top off encouraging Bernie to carry on...

Bernie wasn't sure but determined not to make it a sexual thing just slowly rubbed Serena's muscles to help her to relax. Serena lay down in just her bra and trousers letting Bernie rub her shoulders and it felt like heaven... pure bliss... so relaxing. Bernie slowed down and Serena turned over to look into her eyes... "I love you..." she whispered and Bernie leant down to kiss her. Serena deepened the kiss and Bernie pulled back... "Mmm it's ok... we don't have to do anything...". Serena looked at her intensely and went back to kissing her rubbing Bernie's nipples through her shirt slowly and sensually. Bernie gasped as Serena undid her shirt and shrugged it off her shoulders. She didn't speak... went back to kissing Bernie's lips and undoing her bra... her lips heading for Bernie's bare hard nipples kissing them very slowly while trying to take Bernie's trousers down.

Bernie looked at her giving her an 'Are you sure look...' Serena just nodded and slipped her fingers into Bernie pants while kissing her firmly slightly on top of her on the bed. Bernie gasped as Serena touched her and Serena was frantic with her. In seconds Bernie was pushed over the edge and was laying back on the bed... naked... hot and with Serena on top of her curled up.

Serena smiled at her and kissed her chest... "Better...?" Bernie just smiled at her... "Of course... but you didn't have to darling...". "I very much wanted to..." Serena slid off her on to the bed but was still cuddled up with her... she could stare at Bernie naked forever... such a vision and all hers...


	81. Tuesday (Evening of Losing Game Episode)

Serena didn't want to go home just yet to Jason. She sat in the locker room... the last place she had spoken with Elinor tears streaming down her face. She ripped bits of paper with her hands, it made her feel she was doing something and it slightly took the edge off the deep pain within her heart.

Jason crying on the phone to her earlier had made her feel awful... sad... depressed. She couldn't go home yet. Bernie was working until 9.15pm and it was only 6pm... her clocking off time today. She knew Bernie had found the bits of paper in her bag earlier and had lied... actually lied to her... Bernie... wonderful Bernie... why? She was embarrassed.

Bernie had wanted her to go to counselling again today and she had said she would and then when she had got outside the building she couldn't face it so had gone straight to work, hiding out in the locker room where she felt closer to her daughter. They had had their last good chat in there and Serena knew it was silly but she could feel her presence in there, she knew no one else would understand...

She sat quietly listening to the traffic outside... she thought back to the drugs issue Elinor had kept from her... she thought of Bernie working hard to keep AAU on track... her own head wasn't firing on all cylinders she knew that...

Her mind flicked to earlier today with Jasmine... what had she set her a test for... she knew Bernie thought she had been too harsh and didn't approve of the way she had treated Jasmine but she felt angry and Jasmine was there. Jasmine had missed something with Elinor and some of the anger about her daughter's death was aimed at Jasmine she couldn't deny it, fair or not it was how she felt...

Bernie worked hard when Serena left, as far as she knew she was going home and going to spend some time with Jason tonight as she herself was working later. She would grab something to eat before leaving so Serena and Jason could eat earlier together. She knew how much Jason needed routine and he had been upset today speaking to Serena on the phone after something had set him off feeling sad.

Bernie checked Jasmine was ok before her shift finished... she thought Serena had been fairly harsh with her today... where was this new Serena coming from... she knew deep down it was grief but even so... poor Jasmine was getting it in the neck! Jasmine had said she was ok and Bernie told her to speak to her if anything at all concerned her... Jasmine made it clear that she didn't want to come between the two Co-Leads and partners but Bernie insisted that this was work and if a work issue was concerning her about Serena then she must come and talk to her. Jasmine had nodded smiling and touched Bernie's arm thanking her.

When Serena got home at 7pm Jason was there to meet her and give her a hug. "Auntie Serena... i'm sorry for calling you at work earlier... I was just feeling sad... and wanted to talk to you". Serena hugged him back and they went through to the kitchen where Jason had been cooking sausages for their tea. Serena looked round the mess of a kitchen and sighed but made herself smile at Jason and thank him for doing the cooking.

Jason said tea would be ten minutes exactly so Serena took her things upstairs and washed her face. She saw Bernie's pyjamas on the back of the en suite door and touched them stroking over the fabric... why had she lied to Bernie today... she felt terrible... Bernie didn't deserve that... she had been nothing but wonderful...

Jason called upstairs that tea was ready and she went reluctantly downstairs... she didn't feel like being chatty. Jason asked how her counselling had gone this morning and there it was again another lie... she said it had gone ok... lying... lying... lying... this wasn't who she was...

She felt a tight awful feeling in the pit of her stomach as Jason said he was proud of her. She changed the subject back to him and he chatted on about TV shows and Bernie, asking if she was coming round after work which Serena said she was.

Jason spoke to her about Celia and Serena was happy to listen to him chatter. She thanked him for cooking and made them some cups of tea going through to the lounge. Jason put on one of his TV shows and Serena curled up under the soft blanket on the larger sofa. Jason looked concerned and she reassured him that she was just tired. She was waiting for Bernie to come back and hold her... although she didn't know how she could look into her eyes after lying to her... how would she do that?

Bernie had some pizza with Dom after their shifts had finished before she headed to Serena's. She wasn't sure how Serena would be feeling tonight... her moods were very unpredictable at the moment and sometimes Bernie wasn't sure where she stood.

She let herself in to the house with her key and Jason came to greet her warmly wanting a hug which she happily provided... "Are you ok? Serena said you were upset today... Jason?". He nodded and they went through to the kitchen, Bernie dumped her bag and coat sitting down to listen to him.

When he went upstairs she followed him up to go to Serena's bedroom where she guessed her partner was. She felt she should knock and when Serena murmured she went inside seeing her in bed curled up but awake. "Hi...." Bernie went over to her and kissed her cheek. Serena pulled the covers back to let Bernie in... she needed a cuddle and Bernie's cuddles were the only ones that would help...

They lay cuddled up... no words... Bernie feeling like she was at last helping by providing some sort of love and comfort and Serena telling herself that she would go to the next counselling session for sure... for Bernie... the love of her life...


	82. Friday

Bernie's alarm went off and she stirred turning it off and looking at Serena who was asleep closely next to her. She smiled to herself at how beautiful Serena looked... she hoped she got some relief from her inner pain while sleeping. She gently kissed her awake as they both needed to be up for work at the same time this morning.

Serena managed a smile and cuddled into her closely for a few minutes before they got up and used both bathrooms to get ready. Jason was always early using the shower and was finished by 7.30am every morning so they could get up more leisurely. Serena was ready first and went down to the kitchen where Jason was sat eating his cereal and drinking a cup of tea. He smiled at her and started chattering about how he was glad it was Friday and he had plans over the weekend with Celia. Serena listened to him while she warmed up some pastries for herself and Bernie putting some fresh coffee on too.

Bernie appeared dressed and they all sat for a while at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Jason commented on how much he liked it when they all sat together to eat and Bernie grinned at him... she thought so much of Jason.

When they were all ready, Serena drove them into work, parking in her usual spot and they said goodbye to Jason as he headed off towards the porters office while they carried on to AAU. Serena was only working until lunchtime today as Bernie had offered to cover this afternoon so Serena could attend her counselling session. Serena hadn't mentioned that she hadn't been to the last one when she had said she had but she was definitely going to go this afternoon and get back on track... for Bernie...

Morven greeted them both with a huge smile when they walked onto the ward and they both put their things in the office, Bernie immediately responding to a trauma call and rushing to sort it out. Serena sank down into her chair turning on her computer, she was busy answering emails when Ric appeared at the door to see how she was...

They sat chatting with the door shut and Ric sitting in Bernie's chair, he had obviously made time out of his busy morning to check on her and she thought it was sweet of him... "I'm just about coping Ric... thank you... I'm actually getting some counselling... Bernie sorted it out for me...". He nodded and smiled... "I'm so glad... I think I should have had some... at the time... bottled everything up.. you know". Serena nodded and thought how grateful she was to Bernie for giving her that gentle nudge to go... booking it for her and even paying for the first session... she really was so lucky to have her.

She caught up with Ric about what was happening with him and Ric was wanting to check on how she was dealing with her grief and seeing if she needed any further time off. Serena shook her head but thanking him for his concern... "I need to be at work and keep busy... the counselling will help i'm sure... and I have Bernie... she has been amazing looking out for me". Ric smiled at her and suggested she take the counselling sessions out of work time so she could then go straight home afterwards and be kind to herself at the moment. Serena was so grateful for this suggestion and thanked him again for his support. He put his hand on her shoulder as he left the office reminding her that she could always talk to him if she wanted to.

Bernie finished what she was doing in the trauma bay and saw Dom who had dropped some patient notes down to the nurses station. She caught up with him and asked if he fancied a drink as she wanted a quick break. He nodded and they headed to Pulses where Bernie bought two hot chocolates with cream and sprinkles and sat down next to him at a quieter table in the corner. She thought he looked sad and tried to get him to talk to her. He said that his relationship with Isaac was particularly tricky and difficult at the moment. Bernie asked him if he was unhappy and he wouldn't say. She gathered that something wasn't right but couldn't push him anymore, she said he could talk to her at anytime and he nodded thanking her saying that he thought things would sort themselves out.

He was more interested in how Bernie was coping with Serena and her grief at the moment. Bernie opened up a bit, she found Dom easy to talk to and she mentioned that Serena was seeing a counsellor which was good but supporting her and Jason emotionally was leaving her very tired especially with working so hard as well. Dom asked her if she had thought about a holiday. Bernie shook her head... "Not right now... maybe later in the year.. I would love to take Serena on an amazing holiday when she feels up to it...". Dom nodded and said how lucky Serena was to have her and she blushed... Dom giggling at her red cheeks. They both went their separate ways with Bernie reminding Dom to text or call her anytime, she was there for him.

Serena packed her bag up at 12.30pm and sat eating a quick sandwich at her desk, she wanted to see Bernie before she left for her counselling session. She had finished all the AAU admin for the day so Bernie wouldn't have to do any later. Bernie came into the office and sat down putting her head in her hands... she had a headache but quickly realised that Serena was sitting there looking at her... she had obviously waited to see her before leaving.

"Hi..." Bernie managed a smile and Serena came over to rub Bernie's shoulders. "Are you ok...? You look exhausted..." Bernie just mentioned a headache and got some pills out of her bag taking them with a bottle of water that she had on her desk. Serena said she would be going in a minute and made sure Bernie had something to eat for her lunch, she had noticed that Bernie had been forgetting to eat lately and Serena knew she had to keep her strength up. She watched Bernie eat a chicken salad and packet of crisps while she finished off her own lunch. Bernie filled her in on her morning and Serena did the same, Bernie particularly delighted to hear that all of the admin had been completed going over to give Serena a kiss and calling her an 'angel' which Serena smiled at... she liked being Bernie's 'angel'.

They hugged before Serena left and Bernie said she hoped her counselling session went well. Serena made sure Bernie was staying over later and Bernie nodded... she never presumed anything at the moment, always waiting to be asked in case Serena wanted some space. Serena smiled and said she had invited Charlotte over for dinner as a bit of a surprise. Bernie beamed and said she would look forward to that later... she should be at Serena's about 6.15pm.

Serena arrived at the Reception desk for her counselling five minutes before her session started. She paid the young girl at the desk and sat down reaching for a magazine to calm her nerves. At exactly 1.30pm Matthew came out of his office and called for her to go in smiling at her.

She picked up her bag from the chair and followed him through the door sitting down on the chair she had sat on last time opposite from him. He asked how she was doing today and Serena apologised for not attending the last session. "That's ok... was there a reason you didn't come Serena?" Matthew looked at her kindly...

"I did intend to come and came to the building but when I parked outside I just couldn't come inside... I didn't feel able to talk that day...". He nodded and said how pleased he was to see her today. She smiled and he asked how things were going at work for her... "They are going ok thank you... I have a lot of support... keeping busy and looking after others who are ill helps me to get on with things... my partner is also there... we work together... so it's nice to not be on my own at home... that would drive me mad...".

Matthew was writing some notes down and asked her why she would feel like going mad on her own. Serena thought for a minute and answered honestly... "I would just never stop thinking about my daughter and her death... she was taking drugs before she died as well and I didn't know... I only found out afterwards..." she gulped back tears and Matthew looked at her kindly asking her to talk some more about how that felt. Serena managed to say how disappointed and angry she felt and also guilty that she wasn't aware and couldn't have stopped everything happening.

Matthew explained that she had been through such a lot, the shock of it would stay with her for a long while and to be kind to herself. He asked what else had happened in the last year and she took a deep breath... "Things have changed a lot in my personal life... I fell in love with my best friend which was huge and also I met my nephew and he moved to live with me and then all this happened with Elinor... this year... it has all been too much...".

Matthew encouraged her to break everything down into separate areas and how she felt about each one. He recognised how much she had been through and reassured her that going through just one of those things would be a huge deal but she had been through three major life changes and all of them involved emotional stress or apprehension. She nodded understanding how it was understandable that she was struggling and smiled at him as if for the first time allowing herself to see what she had been through.

He took some more notes and gave her some homework to do before her next session. He asked her to write down under each of the three things that happened to her over the last year - positive emotions she had felt and the negative ones. He said she was to do this alone and then she could share it with Bernie if she wanted to. She nodded saying she would do it and bring it to the next session. He stood up and shook her hand like last time... "Be kind to yourself Serena... you are lovely and I will help you to feel peace in time allowing yourself to move on".

She shut the door to his room behind her and felt like something had shifted slightly in her head. She went to the Reception desk to book her next session and left to drive home.

Bernie spent the afternoon in theatre and popping back to check on the ward a couple of times but Morven had it covered. She left on time at 6pm and headed straight to Serena's anxious to know how her counselling session had gone.

She let herself in with her key and Serena came straight to the door to see her... they hugged tightly and Bernie whispered into her hair asking her how it had gone. Serena pulled away gently and smiled... "Really good... really helpful... I have some homework!" Bernie laughed... "Ok...is that good?". Serena nodded and said she was allowed to show her when it was finished. Bernie had time for a quick shower before Charlotte would arrive. As she headed for Serena's room Jason appeared asking how her day had gone and they chatted for a while.

Serena got everyone some drinks and checked on dinner... she had made a lamb casserole with mashed potato and Charlotte was due any time now.

The doorbell went and she went to answer it giving Charlotte a hug as she came into the hall, Charlotte smiled and said how good dinner smelled. Bernie appeared and gave her daughter a hug before they all went through to the kitchen. Serena was dishing up and Jason appeared pleased to see Charlotte and they all sat down to eat.

Bernie wanted to know how Charlotte's dissertation was going and how her date had gone! Charlotte blushed and said the date had been very lovely and studying was hard going but she was on track so had given herself the night off. Serena went back to asking about her date and whether they would be going out again.

"Yes... definitely... I really do like him... a lot... we have been friends a while and I feel really relaxed with him". Jason asked to see a picture and Charlotte showed him a selfie of the two of them on their date. Bernie asked to see and smiled commenting on how sweet they look together. Charlotte blushed again showing the photo to Serena who grinned... "Yep... very gorgeous... the pair of you". Charlotte mentioned that if she finished enough work over the weekend then they were going out on Sunday evening.

Charlotte touched Serena's arm next to her... "How are you doing? Mum says you are having some counselling, is it helping?" Serena smiled and said that it was... long way to go but definitely helping. Jason chuckled when she said she had homework and wanted to know what it was... Serena explained that she had to write about the three major life changes that had happened in the last year and how she felt about them... when she mentioned her relationship with Bernie, Bernie blushed remembering how intense the first kiss had been that had changed everything between them... she looked into Serena's eyes shyly and Serena smiled back at her... thinking the same... falling in love... it had been totally life altering... the best thing... ever...


	83. Monday

**After some thought I am now going to write away from the Holby storyline. I don't want to write about Serena being a bully and being so distant with Bernie because I don't think she would be like that...**

 

Bernie was sleeping in today... she turned over in Serena's sheets to find her gone, then she remembered that Serena was going in to work earlier starting from this week so she could leave at lunchtime for her counselling sessions, she was going to have them two to three times a week for now and Bernie was going to start later and then stay on to run the ward when Serena left... until around 6pm.

She leant over to check the time on her mobile... 10.07am. She lay back thinking about how lovely the weekend had been. They had taken Jason to the cinema and had been out for lunch just the two of them. She was trying to encourage Serena to do a few things without overwhelming her at the moment.

Last night Serena had been in the room she used as a study doing her counselling homework for Matthew and she had then come downstairs and shared some of it with her which Bernie had felt so pleased at. She remembered Serena telling her what she had written for two of the areas that she had been asked to write about... Bernie and Jason. She wanted to keep her thoughts private about how she felt about Elinor's death which Bernie respected.

Serena had said that there were only positive things about their relationship, how it started and where they were at now. She had showed her the words she had written by Bernie's name on the sheet of paper which made Bernie blush and thought were quite intimate but Serena had said if counselling was going to work then she needed to be honest about her thoughts and feelings. Bernie was also allowed to see what Serena had written about meeting Jason and him moving to live with her.

She got up and went to the en suite washing her face and throwing on Serena's navy soft robe which she always wore when she stayed over. She knew that Jason would be at work and headed downstairs to make some breakfast clocking that she had forty five minutes before she needed to leave for work.

Serena had been busy since she had arrived on the ward. She had Morven there to help her but she missed Bernie and her calming reassurance at the moment when she had a wobble. Morven was very kind to her and spotted that she could do with five minutes to herself so suggested she take a break. Serena went to sit in the office and checked her emails before thinking that wasn't actually taking a break and got up to go down to Pulses for a coffee.

She saw Essie picking up a baguette in the queue and stopped for a chat. Essie asked how she was doing and Serena nodded quietly telling her about the counselling sessions she was attending. She asked Essie how she was and Essie shrugged not really knowing how things were at the moment, not really anything with Raf and things with Sacha had unfinished business so she was concentrating on work and herself at the moment. She gave Serena a hug and asked if she fancied going for a drink soon... when she felt up to it and Serena nodded smiling at her before taking her coffee and heading back up to the ward.

Bernie arrived on time and found Serena dealing with a sick patient in one of the end beds. She smiled over at her and put her things in the office before going to join her. They smiled again at each other and snapped into work mode, Serena filling her in on the morning patients and procedures and what she would like Bernie to take over now she was here. Morven smiled at her when she came back onto the ward and they all spent the rest of the morning making sure everything ran smoothly.

At lunchtime Serena went to pack her bag in the office and found Jason sitting there. She had asked him if he would like to come along to the next counselling session with her as a one off. She thought it might help him and to meet her counsellor Matthew. If he felt comfortable he may open up but Serena felt she needed to be there too.

"Hi... Jason..." she took her coat from the hook and reached for her bag under the desk. "Auntie Serena can I still come to your counselling session today?" he looked interested and Serena smiled at him. "Of course you can... that's why I suggested it... it may be good for both of us and Matthew is so nice... I did say you may be coming with me and he thought it was a great idea..." she paused looking for Bernie through the window onto the wards, she wanted to see her before she left.

Bernie was going into theatre this afternoon but took a quick break to make sure she saw Serena in the office. As she approached... Serena was coming out onto the ward in her coat but Bernie motioned to her with her eyes and they both went back inside shutting the door. Jason excused himself politely to get something from the vending machine and said he would wait for Serena at her car in five minutes.

"Hi..." Bernie whispered making sure the blinds were almost shut and pulling Serena into a cuddle, she stroked her hair and kissed her briefly on the lips... "Are you ok?".

Serena kissed her back not wanting to let go but whispered back... "Missing you... I love you". Bernie kissed her again and then reluctantly let Serena go otherwise Jason would be cross. "Hope the counselling goes ok... would you like me to come round later or would you like some space...?" Bernie was always cautious these days but Serena pulled her into another kiss whispering... "Please stay and tomorrow..." Bernie pulled away and looked at her... "Serena... you know tomorrow is Valentine's Day...".

Serena nodded looking deeply into her eyes... "The answer is yes before you ask... I would like to do something together... well be together... would you mind if we stayed at home though...?". Bernie smiled and looked at her with utter love... "Of course... I was thinking I could cook you a nice meal....will Jason be at Celia's?" Serena nodded and managed a grin... "Thank you... I would love that". Bernie pulled apart and opened the office door kissing Serena on the hair as she passed... "See you later" she looked at her lovingly and Serena blew her a kiss as she walked away.

Serena and Jason arrived at the counselling building ten minutes before the appointment and Jason looked apprehensive. Serena touched his arm kindly and tried to calm him by talking about Celia and their plans for Valentine's Day. Jason immediately grinned and said he had booked a table at the Italian restaurant as he knew Serena and Bernie loved it there. Serena smiled to herself... that was their place...

Matthew called them in right on time and he smiled at Jason kindly... "You must be Jason... good to meet you mate..." they shook hands and Serena went into the office first sitting in her usual chair and Jason took the chair next to her. Matthew asked Serena how she was and she answered honestly... "Good days and worse days thank you... I have done what you asked me to do...". She handed some pieces of paper to Matthew and he smiled at her. "How did you find writing about these things... that are really important to you Serena...?".

She looked at Jason and then back at Matthew... "Some bits were a lot harder than others... I enjoyed writing my thoughts down about Bernie... and Jason but not about Elinor's death... that was particularly hard for me" she took a deep breath and sat back in the chair. Matthew handed the pieces of paper back to her and asked her to read them out loud to himself and Jason.

She took a deep breath starting with what she had written about Jason... "Meeting Jason, my nephew has been wonderful, he brings so much to my life. It has been challenging but oh so rewarding to be part of his life and learn about who he is". Jason beamed at her and touched her arm. She read some of the words she had written about him moving to live with her including... comforting, challenge, learning to live with someone again, routines, settled.

Jason nodded at her and spoke up... telling Matthew that he had tried living by himself but he preferred living with Serena and how kind she had been to him. He realised that he wasn't always easy to live with but he found it comforting to have her looking out for him and her guidance reassured him everyday. Serena smiled at him and Matthew moved Serena on to talk about Bernie... he said he would leave Elinor until the next session when they were on their own.

Serena smiled at what she had written... "Bernie breezed into my life and literally shook up my world... she was just there one day... gorgeous, kind, brilliant, making me feel safe and cared for. She is... one of the best things to have ever happened to me... I love her with all my heart". Jason and Matthew looked at her and smiled. She then read out the words she had written to describe her relationship with Bernie including... honest, partnership, trust, love, kindness, sensual, beautiful.

Matthew moved on to Jason after thanking Serena for talking so honestly about her thoughts. "Jason... how are you feeling today...?".

Jason said that he felt ok... a bit sad about Elinor's death still but more concerned about Serena and how she was. Matthew nodded and tried to probe a bit more. "How did Elinor's death affect you Jason...?". Jason was always to the point and explained that although he didn't know Elinor very well... she was his Auntie's daughter and he loved his Auntie. Serena stopped and looked at him putting her hand on his shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

He carried on... "It has affected everything... our life at home... her relationship with Bernie... Elinor's death was so sudden... such a shock and because it affects Serena so much it involves myself and Bernie too". Matthew nodded and asked him how he felt at home at the moment. Serena held her breath... she hadn't been easy to live with at all lately and she didn't dare to think what Jason would make of it all.

"I still like living with Auntie Serena but I don't like it when she is sad. I know why she is sad and that she will feel like this for a long time but it is slightly better when Bernie is staying as I know she makes her feel better and I can relax more." Matthew smiled at him and thanked him for being honest. He asked Jason to step outside the room now if he didn't mind and he got up to leave smiling at Serena as he turned to get to the door.

When the door had shut... Matthew asked Serena about what Jason had said... "How did you feel listening to what he said... Serena?" she felt tears spring to her eyes and let them fall. Matthew stayed quiet and waited for her to speak... "I... well... I didn't know that he can relax more when Bernie is there... I feel I have to be strong for him... which is difficult. When Bernie stays I know she chats to him and he knows he can rely on her... it's lovely...".

Matthew nodded and said he was going to leave it there for today. He gave her some more homework to do before the next session... "I would like you to do something creative when you are not at work... just for you... something you enjoy or have enjoyed in the past. I would like you to do it by yourself but you can show Bernie and Jason and talk about it with them."

Serena nodded and said she would book the next appointment at the end of the week. She got up from her chair and Matthew walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder... "Little steps... we will get you there..." she smiled and left the room finding Jason engrossed in a film magazine from the coffee table. She went to book her next appointment at Reception and they left to go home.

Bernie finished work on time and wanted to head to the shops before going to Serena's... she had planning to do now she knew that Serena was ok with them having a Valentine's meal tomorrow evening. She had never thought anything of Valentine's Day before... had thought it to be quite pointless but now she was in love... true proper love... she could see a reason to celebrate it and what they have together.

She pulled up outside Sainsburys and sent a quick text to Serena to see if she wanted anything. Serena text back straight away just asking for more Shiraz... typical... Bernie grinned at her phone shaking her head before heading into the store.

She picked up all the Valentine's essentials she would need and called for Thai takeout on the way back for them all to enjoy. She knew Serena wouldn't feel like cooking.

When she let herself in Serena rushed to the door to help her with the bags and kissed her lips as she took two of the bags from Bernie. Jason was upstairs so when the bags were all on the kitchen table they were suddenly kissing and Bernie leant Serena back against the wall putting her hands on Serena's waist and resting her hips gently against her. Serena smiled and deepened the kiss for a while...

Bernie suddenly realised that things needed to go in the fridge and the takeout was getting cold so she pulled away and Serena went to call Jason down.

While putting things away, Bernie asked about the counselling and Serena nodded... "Yes... going well thank you...". Jason chipped in with bits he had said and Bernie smiled at him. She gathered Matthew the counsellor was a nice guy and it was doing Serena good.

"So... Jason... you are out tomorrow evening at Celia's...?" Bernie was checking he was out and also keen that he had a nice Valentine's. He grinned and told her his plans.

"Bernie is cooking me dinner here..." Serena was keen to tell him what they were doing and she was really looking forward to it... she knew she could trust Bernie completely. This was going to be special even if it wasn't at some fancy restaurant... more intimate anyway at home... they could be themselves and Serena liked the peace... yes even though she had not been one really for all the cliches of Valentine's Day before she knew it was the person that mattered... in the past... the people had been wrong... now she was in love and well... Valentine's Day with Bernie was going to be amazing...


	84. Tuesday - Valentine's Day

AAU was buzzing with romance in the air, it was Valentine's Day and more or less everyone was in a good mood! Fletch was even humming loudly as he went about the ward checking on the patients and Morven... even though single was laughing with him. They were going for a drink later with Raf and Jasmine.

Bernie passed Fletch in the corridor and he winked at her... "Bet you have Valentine's plans tonight Bern..." she grinned and winked back, he chuckled loudly and went about his morning.

Pulses was decorated with heart balloons and frosted pink cookies. Serena was queuing up for two coffee's and smiled to herself. She could put the sadness and grief on hold for today... it was the least she could do... it was still there of course but she was getting used to thinking mindfully of the here and now and the counselling really seemed to be helping her. She picked up two of the heart cookies and paid for those with the coffee's smiling... very cute... she had turned into a complete Valentine's romantic!

It really had been decades since she had felt like this on Valentine's day... probably only once before when she had just got together with Edward and he had lavished her with all the cliches which at the time she had thought was sweet, but thinking back now hardly personal and what she liked herself. She had never been short of admirers but it took someone really special to capture her heart and probably only Edward had done it before. But Bernie... lovely... amazing Bernie was waiting for her upstairs and was going to cook her a lovely meal later... just the two of them... perfect... bliss.

Bernie was sat at her desk when Serena came through the door putting the drinks and cookies on the desk and shutting the door behind her quietly. "Hi..." Bernie beamed at her and Serena went straight over to her planting a kiss on her lips and presenting her with the Valentine's cookie along with her coffee. Bernie studied the cookie and grinned at Serena reading the words on it 'Be Mine...?' she raised her eyebrow and laughed kindly. Serena leaned in close to her... "So will you...?"

Bernie pulled her into her lap lovingly... "I am yours... always Serena" and she kissed her again deepening it and making sure Serena knew this to be the case. They pulled apart gently suddenly aware they were at work and not at home! Serena cleared her throat and got up off Bernie's lap touching her thigh affectionately as she did. She went to her desk and saw a small card in a red envelope. She looked over at Bernie who smiled at her and motioned for her to open it...

Serena went to and then stopped herself... "Can I save it until we are at home...?" Bernie nodded and said that was fine. "I just want to... you know... take my time" Serena was gazing at her and Bernie smiled kindly back.

"I have a card for you too at home so we can open them together later?". Bernie carried on smiling at her... she always was smiling when Serena was around. She thought the counselling was really helping Serena and knew that it was still early days but Serena seemed able to do some normal things and feel happiness some of the time which was progress.

Bernie asked her more about the counselling session as they were sat sorting out various patient files. Serena mentioned that she had to think of something creative to do by herself... she needed to have decided by Friday when her next session was. Bernie asked what sorts of things she had enjoyed at school and she thought carefully... tapping her pen on the desk before saying... "I loved painting... art in general... wasn't much good but I enjoyed it."

Bernie asked if she had any art stuff at home thinking maybe Elinor had some stuff. Serena shook her head... "No Elinor took her art things to uni and I let her friend have them when her room was cleared... I didn't think." Bernie came straight over to her and rubbed her shoulder lovingly... "Well we could always get you some more stuff couldn't we... maybe it would help to relax you and help you... mentally?". Serena nodded and said she would think about it before Friday.

Morven popped her head round the door to ask about some tests and soon Bernie was needed in theatre.

It was late afternoon when they saw each other again for a quick cup of tea... again in the office... both were tired but looking forward to the evening. Serena got a text from Jason as he was finishing work early today to get ready for his date with Celia... he wanted time to pack to spend the night with her. She replied that she hoped he had a lovely evening as he would be gone by the time she got back.

A trauma patient came in at 4pm so Bernie was tied up for the rest of the shift. They managed to leave at 6.30pm which was only half an hour after they were supposed to finish... shifts were often late finishing so this wasn't too bad.

When they got in through Serena's door it was Serena who was suddenly kissing Bernie and pulling her by the hand into the hall properly and against the wall. Bernie gasped and pulled away gently... "What's that for...?" she beamed.. "Because I love you and can't wait for the rest of the evening..." Serena smiled at her and put her hands on Bernie's waist pulling her closer.

Bernie kissed her forehead and suggested Serena have a rest upstairs for a bit while she cooked dinner... "You relax darling... I've got it covered" Bernie stroked Serena's hair gently and Serena nodded walking upstairs with her bag and making sure she got Bernie's card out of the drawer in her dresser when she got to the bedroom.

Bernie had given Serena flowers when they had woken up this morning and she smiled as she saw them on the kitchen table in a water pouch tied up with ribbon.

She went to the cupboard, pouring herself a whiskey while she started on dinner... steak, hand cooked chips with a wild mushroom sauce and asparagus. She knew her way round Serena's kitchen now and put the radio on while she pottered about.

When dinner was nearly ready she quietly went upstairs to wake Serena finding her looking all sleepy on top of the covers in her silk dressing gown. She kneeled down by her side of the bed on the floor and kissed her forehead whispering... "Serena..." she kissed her again this time on the lips... "Serena... dinner's nearly ready".

Serena opened her eyes gradually and smiled reaching for her card for Bernie that was by her side and passing it to her... "Happy Valentine's Day Bernie". Bernie reached to squeeze her hand and took the envelope. "Let's open them together downstairs..." she kissed her lips again and got up off the floor using the bed for support!

Serena suggested she get changed as she was in her dressing gown but Bernie said she looked truly gorgeous and she should be comfortable. Serena nodded and took Bernie's hand while they walked downstairs to eat.

Bernie dished up and Serena thought it all looked wonderful. Very classy... Bernie had lit some candles to put on the table and already poured her a glass of Shiraz. They opened their cards to each other and both welled up a little... both feeling a little embarrassed but really so so happy.

They ate quietly in the candlelight. Bernie conscious of how Serena was feeling and Serena really happy to forget her sadness even just for a couple of hours... Bernie deserved that and it wasn't going to change anything feeling depressed tonight. She wanted to celebrate their love and finding each other even if it was later in life... at least they had actually met.

Serena mentioned that she thought painting would be really good for her after some thought and she asked Bernie whether she had done any... Bernie shook her head... "No... science... maths more my thing... but Cam was really quite good as a child... he stopped after high school. Sport was more my thing... hockey, athletics, cross country, basketball that sort of thing...". Serena nodded... of course it was... she could imagine Bernie at school beating everyone on the field and on the track.

She asked for stories of Bernie doing sport at school which Bernie was happy to provide... "I liked school..." she spoke wistfully and talked of times of winning hockey matches, being the girls captain of a couple of teams and loving running in the outdoors. Serena thought it all sounded very... well.... sexy and could imagine Bernie being a force to be reckoned with. She could imagine girls fancying her and of course plenty of boys too.

They changed subject to Charlotte as Bernie said she was quite creative too... "She makes jewellery sometimes... I bet she would show you if you asked... don't think she has painted but she draws as well." Serena smiled... she liked Charlotte very much.

Serena got dessert out of the fridge that she had bought... some dark chocolate and raspberry mousses and she pulled out some chocolates that she had got for Bernie as a gift. They were wrapped in a small box and Bernie thought they looked exquisite. "Serena... they look gorgeous... thank you". Serena smiled at her and went to top up their drinks.

Bernie caught her hand when she went to sit back down... "Come here... sit on my lap...". Serena happily obliged even though she was conscious of not squashing Bernie! Bernie saw her face and pulled her closer... "Stop worrying... you are not heavy... at all!!!". Serena relaxed more and put her arm around Bernie. Bernie fed her some of the chocolate mousse and Serena thought how sexy it was... she did the same for Bernie and realised that some of it was on the corner of Bernie's mouth which she leaned to kiss off. Bernie pulled her even closer and they were kissing sensually... "I love you... so much..." Bernie whispered into her hair and Serena shuddered with the emotion of the whole evening.

"I love you too..." she kissed Bernie again and thanked her for the gorgeous dinner. Bernie blushed just pleased she had enjoyed it.

Bernie was happy for them to relax in the lounge but Serena shook her head... "Would you... take a bath with me...?" Bernie raised her eyebrows slightly and nodded... no words were needed... she followed her upstairs and Serena poured some of her nicest bath creme into the en suite bath and turned the taps on fully so the fragrance drifted into the bedroom where Bernie was undressing and sitting on the bed.

Serena was kissing her again and pulled her up by the hands... "I just want to say... you are amazing... and I need you so much... in everyway Bernie...".

Bernie pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her shoulder gently... "You are the amazing one... Serena... I am just so happy to be with you... you know that... we can just relax together... ok...".

Serena raised her eyebrow chuckling... "Oh ok... not what I had in mind but... if you want...". Bernie gave her a look and grabbed her pulling her into the bathroom... she would take Serena's lead... she was happy with anything this beautiful woman would give her... she was just in complete heaven... being with her...


	85. Friday

Serena was busy on AAU and was missing Bernie. Trauma patients had come in and it was Bernie's day off as she was going to be working a long day on Sunday. Everyone pitched in though and soon everything was back on some sort of track. Serena thought back to Valentine's evening and smiled to herself... it had been truly wonderful and she had missed her partner the last few days. They had been on different shifts and last night Bernie had stayed at her flat getting it ready for them both to stay there tonight. Bernie had insisted that it needed a clean even though Serena would have preferred them to fall asleep together and risked a bit of dirt but Bernie was adamant.

She sent her a text checking she was still ok to meet her at the counselling building this afternoon. Bernie had offered to come with her and wait in the waiting area while Serena would today talk about her deepest thoughts about Elinor's death. She knew Serena would find it comforting that she was just outside so had offered. It was fine for her to sit and read while waiting for her and then they were going to Bernie's for the evening deciding to get a take away.

Serena got a text straight back from Bernie while she was sipping her coffee in the office... 'Of course I am coming to meet you, I love you, hope work ok, see you in a bit, miss you xx'.

Serena smiled... she felt truly supported by Bernie and loved... it felt so wonderful and god did she need it after what had happened. She finished off the paperwork and checked with Fletch that everythig was ok before her quick meeting with Hanssen.

Bernie had pottered round her flat and been and done a food shop for later. They were getting tea delivered tonight but she needed drinks, milk and various breakfast items. She wanted to pamper Serena and take care of her. She knew Celia was staying with Jason and decided to send him a text to see how he was. He sent a reply after around fifteen minutes... 'Hello Bernie, i'm fine thank you, hope you are too, yes Celia is staying tonight :) hope you have a nice evening with Auntie Serena, Jason'. Bernie grinned at his reply... she really did think a lot of Jason.

Serena left to drive to the counselling building at 1.40pm so had plenty of time to get there, park and let the Receptionist know she was there for her 2pm appointment. She got a glass of water and sat down in the waiting area. Bernie would be here any minute and she double checked in her bag that she had the pieces of paper with what she had written a few days ago on it about her feelings.

Bernie rushed through the door at 1.50pm and came immediately to see Serena. Serena gave her a hug and thanked her for coming. "It's fine... there was traffic otherwise I would have been here sooner... are you ok?". Serena nodded and they both sat down next to each other. Serena filled Bernie in on her morning and Bernie looked worried... "You should have called me, I would have come in to help...". Serena nodded... "I know you would have... that's why I didn't call! It's your day off and you work hard enough anyway, you needed a break". Bernie smiled at her and reached for her hand lovingly. They sat quietly until Matthew appeared at his door and Serena got up, kissing Bernie on the cheek and heading for his door. Matthew smiled at Bernie guessing who she was and Bernie gave a small wave in acknowledgement.

"Hi Serena... how are you today?" Matthew was always friendly and Serena took her usual seat while Matthew poured them both some water and set one of the glasses down next to Serena. She thanked him and said it had been a bit of a better week. She explained about her lovely Valentine's evening which had made her feel good and she had decided to do some painting after his suggestion... "I need to get some supplies though... I am going to go tomorrow and buy some".

He nodded smiling at her and said it sounded like she was making some progress... "It will take a long time to make even a little progress Serena... but you are doing so well... is that Bernie outside?" she smiled at him and nodded. "She offered to come with me because I want to talk about what I wrote about Elinor's death today and I knew I would be upset... I find it so comforting when she is near... I know it sounds silly...".

He shook his head... "Serena... you must take comfort in things that help you at the moment... she is such a support to you... I know and that is fine... she wouldn't mind at all". "She doesn't mind..." Serena sighed... "She is totally amazing...". He smiled at her... "Then you are very lucky... to have what you have together..." she nodded and got the pieces of paper out of her bag.

Before she started reading, Matthew asked her about Jason being here with her the other day and how she had felt afterwards. Serena said she hadn't been able to relax fully but it was good for him to come along. "I feel I need to watch what I say around Jason which can be tiring... he takes everything literally and is very sensitive getting upset if the wrong thing is said... if he knew how upset I still am about Elinor he would worry... I have to be strong around him and it is not always easy...".

Matthew nodded and said Jason was very lucky to have her looking out for him and that this room was a safe place to let out her real feelings... away from Jason... away from Bernie and everyone else. He needed Serena to let go... to fully move on and heal her grief. She nodded firmly and started to read what she had written...

"Elinor's death has knocked my sideways, winded me, broken me... I will never be the same again. I loved her, she was my daughter, my little girl and I feel like I have lost part of myself. The way she died, I wasn't prepared, it was such a shock, so unfair. When I found out about the drugs issues she was having I felt angry, deeply angry. How could she do that? I don't understand why she couldn't have talked to me, I could have helped her. I feel utter despair and her losing her life so young and all that waste, her potential, years of us doing things together... gone forever. I don't know how to move on...".

She took a deep breath and looked at Matthew... he motioned with his eyes to continue so she took another deep breath... tears starting to fall...

"I feel so sad, so angry, so lost... I love Bernie and I love Jason and they are there for me. They didn't know Elinor very well so it is a lonely feeling going through this. I know I can be difficult to be around but I can't help it. I sometimes hate myself when I feel so happy at being with Bernie. Elinor felt angry that I hadn't told her sooner about my relationship and I don't really know if she was ok with it. We argued... had a good chat just before she died but I feel there was a distance there. She was such a lovely child... bright, affectionate, happy go lucky, creative, popular. How could she have turned to drugs???" tears streamed down her cheeks and Matthew motioned to her to sit quietly. He was writing notes about what she had said and they sat in silence while Serena collected her thoughts.

After a while Matthew smiled kindly at her... "Well done Serena... writing these painful thoughts down and then reading them out loud is brave. Very honest words and we can go through them next time... I want to heal your grief as best we can and we can start to do that when you feel ready". She cried quietly and Matthew stood up to go to the door going to fetch Bernie in.

Bernie looked up when the door opened and she saw Serena's counsellor come over to her, she smiled at him and he introduced himself shaking her hand. He explained what Serena had just done and said it was ok to come in if she could. Bernie got up straight away and followed him back into his room. Serena looked up and held her arms up for a cuddle from Bernie in almost a childlike manner. Matthew smiled at them both as Bernie wrapped her arms round Serena's shoulders and Serena pulled Bernie close to her still sitting down.

Bernie wiped the tears away from Serena's cheeks with a tissue she had brought in with her and took the seat next to her. "It's ok... Serena...".

Serena nodded and Matthew said he would leave it there for today. Serena thanked him and asked about homework. Matthew just said to get started with the painting... "Perhaps focus on painting some things that you love and bring me one of them next week". Serena managed a half smile and reached for Bernie's hand as she got up and they both walked to the door. Bernie said she would just be a minute as Serena went to book her next appointment at Reception.

"Matthew... how is she doing in the sessions... I know it is confidential... I just want to know that they are helping...". Matthew closed the door and smiled at her. "They are going well and she is doing fine... will take a while... but I can see progress is being made Bernie. You should know that you are her rock... she loves you very much and is extremely grateful for all you have done and are doing for her". Bernie just nodded shyly... "Well thank you so much for helping her... it means a lot to me... she means everything to me". Matthew shook her hand... "Nice to meet you Bernie..." she shook his hand back and left giving him a smile.

Serena was standing by the door looking at the noticeboard.... "Thank you so much for coming in..." she whispered. Bernie just reached for her hand... "It's fine... that's what I am here for... what's that you are looking at...?". Serena was reading a poster about a bereavement support group. Bernie took one of the same posters from the coffee table and said... "Why don't we take it and you can think about it?". Serena just nodded squeezing her hand and they left to drive to Bernie's.

Serena pulled up outside Bernie's flat, she could see Bernie had arrived a couple of minutes before her and she got her holdall out of the boot of the car. God she felt drained... emotionally... very tired. Bernie opened the door for her holding a strong cup of tea... "Thank you... darling..." Serena took the steaming mug and Bernie took her holdall from her.

"Just relax in the lounge, you must be exhausted..." Serena nodded and kissed her gently on the lips to thank her.

Bernie put some washing on and checked her mobile... there was a text from Charlotte asking how they both were which Bernie thought was sweet. She sent a reply back asking if Charlotte would like to meet up with them tomorrow. Bernie was taking Serena to Hobbycraft to get painting supplies and she thought they could perhaps meet Charlotte for a coffee afterwards.

Serena had fallen asleep on Bernie's sofa. The half drunken cup of tea was left on the coffee table and she still had her shoes on. Bernie gently removed them kissing her hair and covering her with a soft blanket. Serena snored softly and Bernie thought she looked so beautiful she almost gasped slightly. She left her to it and took her laptop into the bedroom until dinner time. She would look into this bereavement support group for Serena and encourage her to go when she felt ready... she loved her so very much... anything to aid the healing process even just a little she would encourage with all her heart...


	86. Monday

Serena was missing Bernie, she was working quietly in the office, it was mid morning and Bernie was due in shortly. Bernie had worked yesterday and then stayed at her flat to catch up with some bits and pieces so Serena had made a start on her new project of painting... this was Matthew's suggestion at counselling and she had enjoyed it once she got started...

She hadn't been sure what exactly to paint. Matthew had said to paint something she loved... she knew she wasn't good enough to paint people but she had thought of flowers... it had taken ages to choose some in the garden but in the end she had settled on some pink and yellow roses and put them in a clear vase on the kitchen table. She had new supplies from her shopping trip with Bernie and Charlotte on Saturday so had everything out on the table and was actually looking forward to having a go while Bernie was working and Jason was at Celia's... she had the house to herself.

Serena was bought back to the present moment by Bernie coming into the office and giving her a beautiful smile putting a fresh coffee in front of her and kissing her gently on the lips... she went to move to her desk but Serena grabbed her waist and held her tightly... "Missed you..." she whispered... "How are you?". Bernie smiled at her and said she was fine asking how things were going on the ward today and also checking on how Serena was doing.

Serena filled her in on the theatre order... Bernie was due to scrub in shortly... a neck injury to take care of and then they would both be in theatre later... a more complicated operation. Bernie asked again how she was as Serena hadn't answered her question. Serena managed a half smile and mentioned she had started her painting yesterday. Bernie beamed at her and said she couldn't wait to see it. Serena checked she was going to stay tonight and Bernie moved back over to her noticing that Serena seemed a bit needy today.

"Yes of course I am... I love you you know and really missed you yesterday..." Bernie put her arm round Serena's shoulder and cuddled her tightly. Serena smiled back at her and nodded... "Really missed you too... I think Jason may ask you something later... he wants you to take him to something..." Serena rolled her eyes but not unkindly.

"Oh yes he has already texted me about it... the go karting... no problem I can take him one evening this week before he goes next week with the Porters". Serena reached for her hand gratefully... "Thank you... darling... that means so much to me". Bernie smiled shyly at her from under her messy fringe and they both settled into work.

Theatre took longer than they thought during the afternoon, it was touch and go for a while but Bernie managed to keep going and they both felt relieved when it was successful and over... both collapsing in the office in need of a coffee before heading home. Morven was on a coffee run anyway and kindly fetched two large cups for her favourite bosses.

They made their way separately to Serena's house as they had been apart the previous night and Bernie really felt like she was coming back home when she stepped into Serena's hall and hung her coat up. The flat wasn't home at all... this was her home and she knew it wouldn't be long until she moved in here. They had already had that conversation with Serena insiting that she wouldn't ask Bernie until she was asking for the right reasons. Serena did not want it to happen because she needed Bernie there after Elinor's death she wanted it to be right for them in their relationship... it was a separate thing and it had to be because it was the next step and Serena didn't need her there but wanted her there. Bernie spent much of her time there anyway so it worked at the moment but they also had space too if particularly Serena needed it.

Serena went upstairs while Bernie and Jason did the dinner. Jason had stopped to buy the ingredients on the way back earlier and Bernie was helping him in the kitchen to give Serena a break... she liked a rest when she got in from work at the moment and Bernie always left her to it for at least half an hour.

After dinner... Serena went up to the office/study to carry on with her painting... she wanted it finished before her next counselling session on Thursday and had found it relaxing yesterday anyway. She knew that Jason wanted to look at the go karting website with Bernie and they were going to try and book a session for tomorrow evening if possible. Bernie was really keen to take Jason and he had asked her because he wanted to try something to feel more confident before going with the Porters. He trusted Bernie and knew it would be something she would enjoy doing anyway!

They booked the session online and Jason thanked her before going upstairs to play on his computer. Bernie wanted to leave Serena for another hour to do some more of her painting so she decided to go for a run and changed in Serena's bedroom. She had missed running from her days in the army where she had done it everyday! It was a great stress reliever for her and as she was still trying to cut down on smoking maybe running would be good for her to get back into. Before she headed out she knocked on the door to the office/study to let Serena know she was going out.

She thought Serena looked so adorable and very sexy in her overalls and headscarf to keep the hair out of her face. It was loosely tied and Bernie couldn't help but kiss her firmly telling her how beautiful she looked. Serena blushed and asked what Bernie thought of her painting so far... Bernie looked at the picture... really looked at it and smiled... "It is really very good... I love it...". Serena beamed at her... "I am really enjoying doing it..." she took a proper look at Bernie in her running vest and tight black shorts... bloody hell..."Umm your not going like that are you... you'll freeze!" Bernie chuckled... "I can assure you I get very hot running... won't be long..." she gave Serena one more kiss and shut the door behind her heading downstairs and shutting the front door behind her on the way out.

Pounding the streets Bernie felt amazing... free... her head clearing... elation from the wind in her hair and the air hitting her skin. She just went round the block on Serena's estate and timed it as twenty minutes but she didn't stop once. She would try and increase this on her next run and try and do it a few times a week... she felt energised and felt the blood pumping round her veins as she let herself back into the house and headed straight to the kitchen for a cold glass of water. Jason was sat in the kitchen eating a snack of yoghurt and fruit and she grinned at him... "Feels better...". He nodded and smiled at her... he liked Bernie so much and they chatted for a while as she drank her water and he made some cups of tea for them all. He was going to take one up for Serena which Bernie thought was very sweet of him.

She hit the shower in Serena's en suite and changed into a clean vest and shorts for bed. She picked up the book she had been reading when Serena came into the bedroom and smiled at her. "Oh I thought I was going to catch you all sweaty from your run..." she looked disappointed and Bernie laughed... "Well i'm fresh and clean now... surely that is better..." she winked and Serena shut the door behind her and came to sit on the bed for a cuddle. "I actually love it when you have been working out... I find it... ummm..." she cleared her throat and Bernie finished the sentence for her... "A turn on...?". Serena nodded chuckling... "Mmmm yes does something to me..." Bernie pulled her closer into her arms and kissed her on the lips... "Well I will know for next time... you however are turning me on in what you are wearing right now..." Serena blushed looking down at her overalls with paint on.

Bernie started kissing her neck and Serena laughed... "What you prefer me like this rather than all dressed up...??". Bernie nodded and grinned... "Well you look gorgeous whichever but you covered in paint.... and I think it is that headscarf... I... really... like... it..." she was kissing Serena's soft lips in between each word and Serena started peeling the overalls down and removing her shirt to go in the shower but Bernie grabbed her hand lovingly... "Ummm can the shower wait?" she raised her right eyebrow and gave Serena a seductive look not knowing if she was pushing it... she was always wary these days and was fine with going with Serena's pace of things.

Serena looked deeply into her eyes though and flashed her a beautiful smile... "Well can't leave you all hot and bothered can I..." and with that she pulled Bernie's vest off and launched herself kissing Bernie's breasts and pulled her down on the bed... Bernie beamed back at her and wrapped her arms tightly round Serena's back... complete heaven...


	87. Thursday

Serena lazily turned over in bed, she had the day off work today and realised that Bernie had let her sleep in and would already be at work now. She looked around for a note... there was one of course... 'I love you Serena, hope counselling goes ok this afternoon, remember to take your lovely painting! See you later tonight xx'. She smiled and lay back under the sheets for a few more minutes... it was 11.07am and she could sleep in until lunchtime if she wanted to! Her counselling session wasn't until 2.30pm.

Bernie was busy running around AAU trying to get everything sorted out. They were short staffed with Serena on leave today and Morven had called in sick this morning so she worked with Raf getting everyone sorted as best they could. She barely had time for a quick sandwich at lunchtime but went up to the roof to get a quick breath of air. She ran into Dom who was just leaving and going back down the stairs... she smiled and asked how he was... he came back up to the roof for a quick chat asking after Serena and keeping Bernie up to date with his love life which didn't take long! They agreed to go for a drink soon as Bernie was beeped and needed to return straight away to AAU.

She was in theatre all afternoon... a complicated kidney operation and could have done with Serena there with her. Her mind flicked to her beautiful partner who would be at her counselling session shortly. She knew the sessions and actually the painting was helping Serena and encouraged her to continue with both as long as she needed to. Maybe painting could be an on going hobby... she certainly thought Serena was good and had seen her finished painting last night... she was impressed!

Serena arrived at the counselling building with her painting in a large art folder. She told the girl on Reception she was here and took a seat in the waiting area. She sent a quick text to Bernie seeing how her day was going and then Matthew was calling her into the room. He smiled at her warmly and she smiled back going to sit in her usual chair.

"Serena... how are you doing today...?" he always spoke with a kind tone and Serena felt very at ease with him now. "I'm actually feeling good today thank you... I bought you my painting...". She looked quite shy and Matthew smiled at her again looking keen to see it. She took it carefully out of the plastic folder and held it up for him to see. "It's my first in... decades but I enjoyed doing it and am actually going to start another one this week..." she smiled again and Matthew thought how much better she looked in herself... more at peace... somehow...

"Serena... it is really very good... well done... i'm so pleased you had a go and enjoyed it... it is excellent...". Serena smiled again at him and sat back down in her chair. "I really like absorbing myself in something... it makes me feel peaceful and well... I like the space mentally and it feels like I am doing something for myself outside of work". He nodded and asked how she was sleeping...

She nodded... "Slightly better thank you... I don't like sleeping by myself but that's not often..." she blushed and looked down slightly. He smiled at her and asked after Jason. She chuckled... "Yes he is doing better thank you... his girlfriend is staying over tonight... he seems to be happier...".

Matthew asked how Bernie was and Serena frowned a little... "She is very strong and totally there for me... I just worry that she will have enough of me and decide it's not what she signed up for when we got together...". He looked at her curiously... "Why would you think that... Serena? All relationships have amazing times and difficult times... she seems to love you very much... from what I gathered".

Serena looked at him seriously... "She does love me... I know that... but I don't want to push her too far... when we were on the brink of getting together when we were friends she went away for a while to work to give us both some space to figure things out. I don't want her ever to go away again and I sometimes feel that this grief of mine will push her away...".

Matthew smiled kindly... "Serena... when she went away you weren't properly together and that was a while back... from what you have told me about Bernie and from what I noticed when she came here she seems to be fully there for you in everyway... she adores you I can tell and I don't think she is the sort of person to leave someone she loves when they need her... am I wrong?". Serena just smiled... "I guess not... I am different to when she fell for me... when we fell for each other and well... I need her so much."

Matthew talked her through what she could do to calm her worries about this. Serena came to the conclusion that she could have an honest chat with Bernie about how she feels... at some point this week. They talked about work and how that was going and also her thinking about going to the bereavement support group which Matthew thought sounded a good idea if she felt up to trying it.

When her time was up she thanked him and picked up her painting smiling at him. She left the room and booked her next appointment at the desk before driving leisiurely back home... she always felt lighter somehow after her sessions... she knew they were helping...

Bernie left work on time and went along to the Porter's office to see if Jason was ready for them to go to their go karting session. He smiled when he saw her and said goodbye to his workmates. He hadn't said what he was doing with Bernie as he was going with them next week and Bernie was helping him to feel more confident by doing this with him.

They chatted in the car and when they arrived Bernie parked easily because it was late afternoon before the evening sessions started. They showed the guy on Reception their voucher and he showed them over to the equipment and overalls they needed to put over their own clothes. Jason was very excited and took a selfie of them all changed with helmets on to show Serena when they got back.

They had the track to themselves and were allowed to race each other as many times as they wanted in the hour slot they had booked. It took them a while to grasp how the go karts worked but once they got the hang of it they raced continuously and Jason LOVED it! He was actually quite good and beat Bernie a few times. He gave her a huge high five when they both pulled over at the side of the track when time was up. "Thank you... Bernie that was awesome!!". Bernie beamed at him, she had enjoyed it too and was thinking maybe she could bring Cam and Charlotte sometime.

They changed and made their way to Celia's house to pick her up on the way to Serena's. Celia was ready and said hello to Bernie when she got in the car thanking her very much for picking her up. They all chatted away on the drive to Serena's. Bernie knew Serena was making a roast dinner tonight for them all which she was very much looking forward to... she loved Serena's cooking.

They let themselves into the house and Serena came to greet them with her apron on. She had been busy in the kitchen and Bernie noticed she looked quite hot. "Hey... beautiful..." she whispered kissing her lips gently as Serena pulled her into a tight cuddle. "Are you ok... you look hot..." Bernie was just checking and Serena nodded... "It is a bit hot in the kitchen... but yes fine thank you... counselling was good today". Bernie nodded smiling knowing that Serena would tell her about it when they were alone snuggled up in bed together when they could talk quietly.

Serena said hi to Celia and gave her a hug. Celia enjoyed being around at Serena's and offered to help kindly. Serena shook her head and Jason got them all some drinks.

They all chatted while they ate and Celia seemed very happy to be staying over. She asked how Serena was doing and also how Bernie was getting on at work. Serena liked her and found her polite, kind and good for Jason.

Jason chatted happily about go karting and showed them the selfie of him and Bernie before they raced. Serena raised her eyebrows at Bernie with a smile and Bernie grinned back.

"Very sexy... darling..." Serena whispered and Bernie blushed. She chatted about how good Jason had been and he explained that he felt confident to go with his work mates now and thanked Bernie again for going with him.

When Celia and Jason went upstairs, Serena and Bernie cleared away the tea things filling the dishwasher and making some cups of tea. They took them upstairs and settled into a cuddle on Serena's bed. Bernie stroked Serena's hair and asked her how the counselling session had gone. Serena said that Matthew had liked her painting and that she wanted to talk to her about something that had come up in the session...

Bernie nodded playing with the bottom of Serena's top and leaning her head on her shoulder... "You can talk to me about anything...". Serena nodded and spoke about her fears of Bernie having enough and going away again or falling out of love with her as she had changed because of Elinor's death.

Bernie pulled her closely kissing her firmly... "I am not going anywhere ever... I love you too much and you have got me now... there's no getting rid of me... Serena. Yes things have been difficult and awful for you but... you have me and we are stronger than ever... we can get through anything... me and you. You're my soulmate... meant for me... please trust me... I love you."

Serena nodded leaning her head on Bernie's chest while Bernie went back to stroking her hair and kissing her cheek... then down slowly along her jawline... "I... love... you... Serena... Campbell... always".


	88. Friday

Serena paced in her kitchen taking a quick sip of coffee. She checked the clock... she had ten minutes to go before she had to leave to meet Edward on time. Bernie had encouraged her as Edward had sent a text when he had returned from his trip, he thought it would be good for them to sit and talk about the last of Elinor's things and her ashes. She drained the rest of her cup and picked up her handbag from the kitchen chair, checking the back door was locked she went through to the hall to grab her coat and pulled the front door shut behind her.

Bernie was having a really unusually quiet Friday... there were only four patients on the ward and unless there was a new emergency it was going to be a relatively easy day. She turned to the left of her desk where there was a pile of forms to sign and things to file. She kept busy and tried her hardest not to think of Serena meeting up with Edward... she knew it had been her idea of course and she did support it but... Edward was so much of Serena's past and history and there was a part of her that would always be jealous of him.

She sent an encouraging text to Serena and carried on with her paperwork only stopping when Flecth came in with a coffee for her. "You doing paperwork... shall I take a photo to send Serena...?" he chuckled and she smiled back at him. She liked Fletch very much and thanked him for the coffee. Before he turned to leave she asked after his kids and he sat down for a minute... "Bleeding me dry..." he laughed and carried on saying that things are much easier now but because they know he has more money they are asking for more things! Bernie smiled and sat back in her chair. "How's Serena doing anyway...?" Bernie thought he was really caring and she sighed... "Well... better thanks Fletch... she is however meeting up with Edward today... so not sure how that will go... she is going to try a support group tonight for the first time as well... so she is getting there gradually...". He smiled at her and reassured her that things do get easier...

Serena arrived at the Costa coffee shop they had agreed on meeting at and got a seat... she looked round noticing that Edward wasn't there yet... typical. She got out her mobile and saw Bernie's text... 'Thinking of you... don't take any shit! I always support you all the way and love you xx'. She smiled at it and double checked the time... he was now late in her books and she frowned at the people happily coming and going with their coffee's.

She suddenly saw him coming through the door and gave a tiny half wave. Neither got up to hug each other Edward just asked what sort of coffee she would like and she sighed... he could never remember or had forgotten on purpose. She took some deep breaths while he was getting the drinks and when he came back with the tray she started to speak... "How was your trip...?".

"Very good Serena, we had a wonderful time touring round you know... it did me good... you should think of getting away...". She nodded slowly not being bothered to comment on that particular suggestion. Yes... she would very much love to take a holiday with Bernie and maybe Jason but now wasn't the right time.

"How's Liberty?" she made herself ask to be polite... they surely could be polite to each other... "Yes very well... as I said we had a wonderful time... she particularly liked Sydney but we liked all parts of Australia really". Serena nodded sipping her coffee... god this was getting awkward now. "How's Bernie...?" he did actually seem interested and at hearing her partner's name Serena let herself smile... "She's fine thank you... she's been amazing..." he smiled awkwardly and sipped at his own cup of coffee.

"So... Elinor's things... I still have some bits and I didn't know if you wanted her mobile phone... I have that still. I also have some of her jewellery that she had in her room at ours that we found when we got back... would you like it?" Serena smiled and nodded... "Yes please... thank you." Edward said he would drop the bits round soon and Serena agreed to this... she would make sure Bernie was there with her!

"How are you feeling... Serena... you look tired..." Edward went to reach for her hand but she kept it firmly in her lap. "I'm doing... as well as I can... I'm having counselling and I am going to a bereavement support group tonight. Work has been very flexible so I am not back full time yet and as I said before Bernie has been completely amazing... I am very lucky to have her." He smiled and took a deep breath... "Serena... about Bernie... I need to ask you something... for my sanity... I was thinking when I was away...".

Serena looked up at him and waited for him to continue. "You know when we were married... did you... were you..." he stuttered and Serena knew instantly what he was going to ask and she thought quickly on her feet. "Serena... were you attracted to women when we were married?". She answered honestly... it was only fair... "I'm not really sure Edward... maybe... maybe not... I did love you... I think perhaps yes I was deep down and Bernie... she... well... I have never fallen for a woman before Bernie if that is what you are asking though... I am really amazingly happy with her... she is it for me and I am glad you have Liberty if she makes you happy...". She felt proud of herself and sighed happily drinking the rest of her drink.

Bernie looked at the clock... she felt anxious... Serena and Edward would be chatting now. She looked out onto the ward... everything was fine and Morven was keeping an eye on things. She sent a quick text to Charlotte to see how she was and half heartedly ate some of the salad she had bought for lunch... not that she felt very hungry.

Serena and Edward discussed Elinor's ashes and decided that Serena would have them. She thanked him and got up from the table... "Well... let me know when you want to drop everything round. You are welcome to come in for a coffee with Liberty if you would like to... but it is up to you of course...". She felt very proud of herself for acting like a grown up... Elinor would be proud of her mum and dad if they could be civil and she was doing this for her. Edward nodded and kissed her cheek... "Take care Serena..." and with that they went their separate ways.

Jason came to the office to meet Bernie after work and they chatted non stop on the way back to Serena's. He was having a night by himself tonight with his Dvd's. He had been spending a lot of time with Celia and with Alan lately and he often felt like he needed some time just to relax. He was pleased that Bernie was going with Serena to the support group and really hoped they got on ok.

They sat in the kitchen when they got in... drinking tea and eating some biscuits that Jason had found in the cupboard. They both heard the key in the front door and knew that Serena was back. Jason let Bernie go to her and hung back politely. "Hey... how did it go...?" Bernie hugged her tightly and Serena held on tight reaching to stroke Bernie's hair and breathing in her perfume from her neck. "Um... well... ok actually... I can have Elinor's ashes and there are some other bits he is going to drop round at some point... jewellery and her phone... it was ok... considering". Bernie kept hold of her tightly... "I'm glad it was ok... was thinking about you..." she kissed Serena lightly on the lips and Serena pulled her chin back gently to kiss her again.

Jason came out of the kitchen clearing his throat. "Jason..." Serena went to give him a hug and he said how proud he was of her for meeting up with Edward. She smiled and followed them both into the kitchen for a drink and a sit down. The support group was due to start in an hour so they were all going to get a takeaway afterwards to bring back which Jason was happy to share as long as it wasn't later than 8.30pm which Bernie grinned at... "We will do our best Jason... the group should finish by 8pm".

Bernie drove them to the Community building where the group was taking place and she had the flyer in her bag to show the organiser. Serena felt nervous and was so grateful that Bernie had offered to come along with her... she put her hand on Bernie's thigh affectionately and Bernie smiled at her... "I am really very proud of you for going to this... it's worth a try and if you hate it we don't have to stay... ok?". "Ok..." Serena nodded and looked out of the passenger window... it had started to spit with rain and she watched the raindrops splatter on the windscreen as they pulled up slowly into the car park.

Bernie held Serena's hand as they walked in holding an umbrella with her other hand over the two of them. She shook it when they got inside and Serena went to the desk asking for the Bereavement Support Group. The Receptionist was friendly and pointed them in the direction of the stairs and to look for the large room on the left once they got to the top.

Bernie suggested that Serena go in first and she was right behind her. The room was bright and there were already a few people milling about getting themselves a cup of tea. Bernie went to get them some drinks while Serena spoke to the leader of the group introducing herself and Bernie to the man who told her his name was Michael. He shook her hand and smiled... "I'm so pleased you have come along Serena... we are a very friendly group here and there will only be six of us tonight as some are on holiday". She nodded and found seats with Bernie taking the cup she offered her.

Michael started by welcoming everyone and as the others were regulars and knew each other he introduced Serena and Bernie to them. They all nodded and smiled sipping their drinks and Serena felt herself start to relax a bit. Michael had told her she didn't have to share tonight she could just listen to the others and she nodded gratefully... it may be too difficult this first time but she was so glad Bernie was with her.

She listened to two of the others talk about what had happened to them... she felt herself well up occasionally and Bernie squeezed her hand tightly. She felt she had something in common with these people who she had just met tonight... they were all linked by tragedy.

One woman named Lisa had lost her son to suicide... unbearable and one of the men spoke about losing his mother to cancer recently and how hard he was finding it. They had a coffee break and Bernie asked her if she was ok... Serena nodded and held her hand tightly... "Thank you so much for coming with me... you mean everything to me Bernie... I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you... I told Edward today that you are the one for me...". She managed a smile at Bernie and Bernie beamed at her... "Thank you for telling him that... means a lot...". She kissed Serena gently on her hair and went to get them some more drinks.

Serena watched her go and thought for the first time in... well... a long time... that everything was going to be ok...


	89. Saturday (4 weeks later)

Things had been going better for Serena... it was four weeks later and she had been attending her counselling sessions at least twice a week and had attended the bereavement support group twice. She had even managed to share some of her story about Elinor's death in the last session and Bernie had been there supporting her all the way.

Things had been busy on AAU and Bernie thought it was time they could both do with a break. She had been to see both Hanssen and Ric to see if there was anyway she could take a week off as well as Serena so they could go on holiday. They had both been very supportive and had managed to arrange enough cover.

Bernie had put it to Serena over dinner one evening and Serena had thought it was a marvellous idea and couldn't wait to take a relaxing break with the woman she loved. She had been feeling stronger in herself and felt that her counselling sessions, the support group and her new found hobby of painting were really helping. She knew it would all take time but for now she was doing better...

Bernie had let Serena choose where they went but suggested a relaxing beach break. Some warm sunshine and delicious food was what they both needed after an extremely upsetting and tiring few months. They needed to relax and just spend the time together which Serena had agreed with.

Jason was sorted out as Alan had offered to take him camping for the weekend they were going away and then he was staying with Celia. He was looking forward to it all although he would miss his Auntie and of course Bernie too.

It was the afternoon when Serena, Bernie and Jason got into town to finish buying some last bits for their holidays. Serena hadn't been on a beach holiday in years and it was a good excuse to treat herself to some new clothes. Bernie had various pairs of shorts from her army days and numerous vests! She did however want to buy a new swimsuit and perhaps some clothes to go out for dinner in the evenings. It was going to be hot in Croatia and they were going to a lovely hotel but had opted to eat out in the local restaurants in the evenings.

Jason was looking for camping equipment. He had a small list of the bits Alan hadn't already got and as he wasn't sure what the weather would be like he wanted to be prepared!!

Bernie took him into Go Outdoors to take a look while Serena made her way to Debenhams to look at the beachwear. Jason picked out a camping chair, a new sleeping bag and a blow up airbed. Bernie helped him back to Serena's car with his purchases and then they went to join Serena who was happily looking through the selection of sarongs on the rails.

She chose two to try on along with a new swimsuit and a couple of tops. Bernie took Jason up to look round the men's section for a bit before they both came down with Jason holding a few bits to try on. Bernie didn't see anything she liked so waited patiently for them both outside the changing rooms.

After a few minutes Serena called her in to look at the swimsuit she was trying on... Bernie noticed that she had lost quite a bit of weight over the last few months but thought she looked gorgeous in the brightly coloured swimsuit and pulled Serena in for a quick kiss... "Stunning... definitely get that" she gave Serena a wink and pulled the cubicle curtain back over to leave Serena to try on her other things.

Jason came out of his cubicle holding two pairs of trousers and a hoodie to buy for his trip. Bernie sat down on one of the chairs that was now free to wait for Serena while Jason went and paid for his things. Serena called her in again to look at the two tops and sarongs she had also taken in with her. Bernie loved one of the sarongs and one of the tops but said the other top was just ok and Serena nodded... "I agree... thank you... you know... for your opinion... it means a lot". Bernie kissed her cheek and went back outside to wait for them both.

After Debenhams they all went to Boots for toiletries for their trips. Bernie stocked up on suncream and Serena bought some mini versions of the things she liked for them both to share. Bernie wasn't too bothered about what she used so usually used Serena's stuff apart from perfume... they had their own scents that drove each other crazy!

Bernie went off to Gap to get some new flipflops and while she was there picked up a few casual tops. Serena came to join her leaving Jason in HMV for ten minutes. She liked the tops Bernie had chosen and then went with her to the Nike store to try on swimsuits. Serena sat in the cubicle while Bernie tried on three she quite liked. Serena liked the last one the best and thought Bernie looked really stunningly sexy! "Yep get that one..." she grinned at Bernie. "That good?" Bernie gave her a look and raised her eyebrow and Serena nodded... "Mmmm yes you look gorgeous...".

Bernie paid at the till and they went to find Jason who had bought a new dvd and magazine and was waiting outside for them. They headed back to Serena's to have a cup of tea before starting the packing. Alan was collecting Jason first thing in the morning and the flight that Bernie and Serena were catching was at 1.30pm so they needed to be there for 11.30am.

After relaxing for a while in the lounge, Jason went up to his bedroom to sort his things out. He had offered to do any ironing tonight for anyone as he found it relaxing and Bernie had shown him last week how to iron with army precision! He had found a new skill he liked doing and was happy to help.

Serena found him a pile of her clothes to iron and sorted out her suitcase that was kept in a cupboard in the office/study. Bernie's was kept under their bed so they each had their own open and were busy searching for the bits and pieces they would need to take.

Bernie had sorted out the currency a few days earlier and Serena had their passports safely in her hand luggage for now so Bernie wouldn't lose hers. They were both looking forward to their trip so much... Serena felt it would be good to take a break together... it would be wonderful, she just knew it.


	90. Sunday

It was early and Alan had arrived to collect Jason for their camping trip. Bernie showed him in and smiled at him saying that Jason would be right down. "Hope you and Serena enjoy yourselves... you've had a really tough time..." Alan had heard from Jason about the truly awful time they had had with Elinor's death and he was more than happy to help out by taking Jason away for a break. He knew he would then be taking him to Celia's for a few days after camping in Wales.

Serena came into the hall and gave Alan a brief hug... "Thank you for doing this Alan... would you like a quick coffee?". Alan nodded and followed Serena through to the kitchen while Bernie headed upstairs to finish packing. Serena... who was highly organised... had finished her packing last night but Bernie needed to finish hers now the bedroom was free.

Jason came through to see Bernie before heading downstairs knowing that Alan had arrived. "Hope you have a great time Bernie..." he hugged her tightly and she hugged him back. "You too Jason... have fun and stay safe out in the field" she gave him a wink and he grinned.

He headed downstairs and to the kitchen where Alan was sat with Serena drinking coffee. He came over to give Alan a brief hug and put his huge rucksack on the kitchen floor.

Serena went over with him everything he needed to take to make sure he had packed what he needed. He rolled his eyes and explained that he had a list and had ticked everything off as he had put it in his bag and she smiled at him. "Ok... ok... now give me a hug... I will miss you" she pulled him into a tight embrace and he held onto her for a long time. A week without his Auntie seemed like a long time but she had agreed to call him twice during her break away agreeing on the days and times with him in advance.

When Alan had finished his coffee, he helped Jason with his bag and Serena saw them off waving from by the front door. She would miss Jason but was really looking forward to her holiday with Bernie... so so much. She checked the time on her mobile and went upstairs catching sight of Bernie with her suitcase on the bed rolling up t-shirts and shorts to fit more things in. Serena had left her a small pile of things to put in her case so that each suitcase had half of each other's things in it in case one was lost!

Bernie was huffing and puffing trying to put everything in neatly. "Do you want some help there...?" Serena raised her right eyebrow at the woman she loved and Bernie managed a grin back... "I'm just no good at this stuff...".

"Come here..." Serena pulled her into a cuddle and kissed her gently. She took over the packing and asked Bernie to check her hand luggage while Serena finished off the cases. Labels were checked and padlocks put on, passports and currency double checked and everything put by the door.

Bernie made a flask of coffee to share on the journey to the airport and soon they were ready to set off. Serena checked everywhere was locked and grabbed some Kitkats from the cupboard for the journey... she was feeling much brighter and determined for them to enjoy their break after such an awful time.

The drive to the airport went quickly, they listened to the radio and shared the coffee and biscuits between them. The weather was slightly drizzly and Serena couldn't wait to get some warm sunshine on holiday. She had had an email from her counsellor Matthew this morning to wish her a nice holiday and remind her how well she had been doing. Serena had smiled at this support and had sent a quick thank you reply back.

When they arrived at the airport, Bernie parked and took the keys into the office to leave it there for a week. They got their luggage out and caught the small shuttle bus over to the terminals. They had checked in online so just had to drop their bags and head through security. Bernie was so excited to be going away with Serena... this was their first proper holiday together and time just to spend together... she smiled at Serena as they both walked through to the restaurant area and Serena smiled back... grateful they had this chance just to be with each other.

They decided on a bite to eat at the pizza place where they could see when their flight would be boarding. Serena wanted a glass of wine as it was nearly lunchtime and Bernie chuckled going up to order for them both before settling back and relaxing knowing they would soon be on the aeroplane.

Serena picked up a few magazines for the flight after they had eaten and Bernie got a sleep mask from Boots to try and sleep on the plane. She used to use one when she had flown out with the army and it kind of reminded her of those days...

They boarded the plane when the gate number showed up and settled quickly into their seats... Serena leaned her head on Bernie's shoulder and shut her eyes content in the knowledge that they had a whole week together. Bernie checked her phone before turning it off to see a text from Charlotte wishing them both a great holiday. Bernie showed Serena and she thought it was very sweet.

The flight went quite slowly... there was a crying baby not too far away so Bernie barely slept. Serena had magazines and books to read but Bernie liked to sleep on planes and was reminded of the days when she had been awake with Cam all night. He was such a poor sleeper when he was a baby even up to the age of around two years old. She reached for Serena's hand and stroked along her wrist very slowly. Serena sighed happily and dropped a kiss to her cheek.

When they arrived late afternoon time in Croatia, they found their transfer coach to the resort and sat together again feeling slightly hungry now. Bernie had some boiled sweets left from the flight and offered one to Serena who took a red one and grinned at her. Bernie didn't like the red sweets and had saved them all for Serena which she thought was very adorable of her.

The coach offered a nice view of Croatia as it travelled along the roads as the sun was starting to set. Serena thought everywhere looked really pretty and Bernie loved the view of the sun set leaning her head on Serena's shoulder and sliding her hand into Serena's. "I love you...." she whispered... "I hope I can give you a lovely holiday....".

Serena smiled back kissing her hair softly... "I know you will... it looks really beautiful....".


	91. Monday

Bernie stirred to see bright sunlight on her skin and she suddenly remembered where she was. Grinning to herself she turned over under the sheets to see Serena fast asleep on her side facing her looking beautiful as always. Bernie checked the time on her phone and realising it was still very early she got up and went onto their balcony to take in the view of the pool area and out on the horizon to the sparkling blue sea. She sighed happily and thought about going for a run as Serena wouldn't be awake for ages yet.

She thought back to last night and the lovely dinner they had shared in the hotel restaurant... both too tired to venture much further. She felt so happy to have this time together and she hoped it would help to heal Serena's grief even just a little and give them both a rest. She changed into leggings and her sports bra in the bathroom and pulled a vest out of her suitcase... they hadn't bothered to unpack yet last night.

She shut the hotel room behind her quietly making sure she had her keycard and set off downstairs and out across the pool area and down to the path along the front. They had taken a short walk after dinner last night so Bernie knew this path stretched far along following the path of the beach so she warmed up a little with some stretches and then she was off. It wasn't hot yet but she could feel the warmth of the day beginning on her skin as she took it fairly easy but felt better for doing some exercise.

Serena woke with a start wondering where she was... she felt to the side of her for Bernie but suddenly realised she wasn't there. When she turned to check the time she noticed a note left by Bernie... 'Gone for a quick run, back very soon, I love you Serena xx.' Serena smiled to herself and settled back under the sheets. She felt quite exposed in just her lacy underwear that she had fallen asleep in last night because it was quite hot, so she reached down her side of the bed and pulled on her robe.

Bernie arrived back to see Serena having a cup of tea on the balcony. She went to give her a kiss and Serena pulled her onto her lap... "No Serena, i'm all sweaty..." Bernie scrunched up her nose and got straight back up giving Serena a firm kiss on her neck though to keep her satisfied! "No... come back here... I like you sweaty... you know I do..." Serena blushed and looked into Bernie's eyes. Bernie sat back down shaking her head... "I don't know why that does it for you but i'm not complaining if it does..." she raised her eyebrow and settled more comfortably on Serena's lap. They stared out to sea and cuddled tighter content in the peace of the moment.

"So... guessing you will need a shower now..." Serena whispered while stroking down Bernie's arm very slowly with her fingertips. Bernie grinned... "You are welcome to join me if you would like to...?" Serena shifted herself so Bernie would get up and she pulled Bernie by the hand into the shower...

They sat outside to have breakfast both feeling relaxed for the first time in a very long time. Serena went for a selection of fruit and pastries while Bernie chose a cooked breakfast with toast and tea. The sun was warming up and they both decided they would stay around the hotel today sunbathing and perhaps venture onto the beach outside the hotel this afternoon. After heading back up to the room to change, Serena put some things she would need into her beach bag while Bernie was busy trying to actually find the things she needed from her suitcase. "Serena... could you please put my things in your bag... I don't have one...". Serena chuckled to herself and because she was now ready started putting the things Bernie had left out on the bed into her bag too.

After a while... leaving the room for the cleaner to come in... they headed down to the quieter pool area and settled on two of the nicer sunloungers. They put their towels out on them and Serena stripped off until she was just left with her swimsuit and sarong. Bernie raised her eyebrow at her and whispered extremely quietly... "You look so hot!" Serena gave her a beautiful smile and shook her head. "Please could you put some suncream on my back..." Bernie came round to stand behind her while she applied the shimmer oil that Serena had bought before the trip... it smelled of coconuts and had an expensive fragrance. Serena enjoyed Bernie smothering her in the oil very much and let out a small groan. Bernie kissed her hair and whispered... "Ssshh..." Serena chuckled and took the bottle back off Bernie before putting her legs up on the lounger and reaching into her bag for her book.

Bernie only felt comfortable stripping off down to her clean vest and shorts even though she had her swimsuit on underneath. She wasn't bothered about her body shape but she had scars that she was slightly self conscious of around strangers who wouldn't know how she had got them. Serena noticed this and squeezed her hand... "You are totally beautiful Bernie... don't get too hot in your clothes...". Bernie smiled at her shyly and reached into Serena's bag for her ipod. She settled on her own lounger and put her headphones on feeling completely relaxed.

Around lunchtime Serena went to the hotel bar to get them some more drinks and some sandwiches. They could take them back to the loungers so they stayed where they were... content and comfortable... Serena more in the sun as she was wanting to get a tan whereas Bernie was conscious of her fairer skin and kept mostly under the parasol.

Sometime mid afternoon they were flicking through the brochure deciding on which trips to go on during the week. Bernie really wanted to visit Dubrovnik for the history, while Serena fancied the yacht cruise! They agreed to do both together and also go on the wine tasting tour nearer the end of the week.

As it was getting warmer later in the day they decided to stay round the pool where they were... Bernie wanted to swim so shruck off her shorts and finally her vest. Serena rubbed some waterproof suncream on to her that Bernie had bought with her which was a higher factor and then she walked self consciously the short distance to the pool. It felt freezing to Bernie when she walked into it. She sat for a while on the ledge and dangled her legs in looking over at Serena who beamed at her giving her a gorgeous smile. Serena had never seen Bernie look so beautiful and her heart swelled for her gorgeous partner who had been so amazing to her these last few months. She saw Bernie get fully in under the water and watched her swim finding it comforting... as her eyes grew heavy she felt herself doze and her body completely relax.

Bernie came out of the pool after a while to find Serena fast asleep and she smiled at her... drying herself on her towel and laying down to let herself dry off in the warm sunshine. She checked the time and thought they should be going up to the room shortly to get ready for dinner. They had decided to buy some drinks from the small supermarket on site to have a drink before dinner on their balcony.

Bernie gently shook Serena awake at 5.30pm and Serena gathered both of their things together while Bernie put the parasol down and collected up their towels. They headed back to the room content and happy after their relaxing day. Serena used the shower first and Bernie sat on the balcony sending texts to both Cam and Charlotte asking how they were and letting them know that she was having a lovely time away.

While Bernie used the shower, Serena put on casual loose trousers and one of her new tops. She carefully applied her make up and looked over herself in the long mirror. She noticed how much weight she had lost recently and thought she actually looked better for it but she didn't need to lose anymore. She poured a gin and tonic for herself and a whiskey for Bernie and sat outside watching the sun set. She thought how beautiful it looked and thought of Elinor... happy memories of her as a child and she smiled to herself for the first time in a long time... thinking of her daughter without shedding any tears.

Bernie had put on capri pants and a long sleeveless white shirt. Serena thought she looked effortlessly stylish and pulled her into a kiss... "I am having such a wonderful time...". Bernie smiled at her and stroked her hair gently... "I'm so glad to hear you say that Serena... I did worry that it was too soon for a holiday but... I think we both needed it...". Serena nodded and reached for her hand... "You look gorgeous... let's go and find somewhere to eat... I think I quite fancy a cocktail as well... what about you?". Bernie grinned and held her hand tightly... "Of course... lead the way..." they kissed again and headed out to enjoy their evening... the sun finishing setting behind them as they left...


	92. Tuesday

Serena woke gradually... aware that she was wrapped round Bernie with her right cheek pressed against Bernie's bare back. She smiled to herself remembering last night when they had returned from dinner after a couple of cocktails and had made slow romantic love with each other. She kissed Bernie's skin gently and turned to lay on her back.

Bernie stirred from the feel of the kiss and turned over to face her grinning... pulling the sheets around her top half. "Morning...." she sighed happily and pulled Serena closer for a kiss. Serena moved under the sheets... nuzzling Bernie's breast with her nose playfully. Bernie batted her away affectionately... "Serena... ". Serena pouted before grinning at her and went back to kissing Bernie's soft lips lazily.

"Serena... this morning... are you still thinking of going to the painting class...?". They had spotted a poster advertising the classes when they had returned to the hotel from dinner yesterday evening and Bernie thought Serena would enjoy it... it was only for the morning and she had planned to go and do some paragliding while Serena was occupied.

Serena nodded and said she would like to do that and also she should ring Jason today. Bernie nodded and they held each other tightly... Serena gazing into Bernie's eyes. Last night she had let herself go again in an intimate moment when they had got back to their room and she was so grateful that she could be herself with Bernie and feel release from her grief if only for a short while. Matthew had taught her in her counselling sessions how to put the grief to one side so it didn't consume her every waking moment and although it was so difficult in the beginning... now she was getting the hang of it and after a gorgeous meal and drinks last night with the love of her life she had let herself completely go and Bernie had said afterwards that she had felt completely ravished and cherished which had made her blush!

They each showered and got ready to go down for breakfast. Sitting at the same table they each felt the warm sunshine starting to heat up on their arms as they tucked into various fruits, yoghurt, pastries and juices. They chatted about later and were going to meet back in their room around lunctime and head to the beach this afternoon outside the complex. Serena was concerned about Bernie's safety going paragliding but Bernie reassured her it was perfectly safe and she would be careful...

Serena reached for her hand and squeezed it... "Please be careful... you are my life and I need you so much...". Bernie squeezed Serena's hand back and smiled promising her that she would be fine. When they had finished eating they headed back to the room via Reception to book their trips... tomorrow they were going to head on a coach trip to Dubrovnik and they also booked a wine tasting tour for Friday evening and the yacht cruise for Thursday.

When back in the room... Bernie changed into her swimsuit, putting a clean vest and shorts over the top... she wanted to feel comfortable while Serena collected her bag and sat having a coffee on the balcony. Bernie came to see her to give her a kiss before heading to the beach.... Serena pulled her onto her lap and stroked her cheek... "I love you so much.... please come back to me safely...". Bernie kissed her back firmly... "Of course... and I love you too... always... I hope you enjoy your class... see you later...." with one last kiss to Serena's cheek, she grabbed her sunglasses from the side and shut the door behind her.

Serena checked the time and used the bathroom before heading down to the terrace. There were aleady five other people there and the sun was warming up. Serena made herself relax and she smiled at the man stood next to her. The teacher appeared with glasses of juice and showed them where to sit and listen for a while to explain what they were going to do.

They were going to paint a sea view from the terrace using watercolours and materials were handed out to everyone who had turned up. Serena took her easel and moved it to a shadier spot setting the paints, water holder and brushes to the side of her. She took a sip of her juice and looked out onto the horizon... the view was quite spectacular and she wondered if she would spot Bernie up in the air at some point this morning!

Bernie was sitting in the sunshine waiting her turn to go out on the speedboat and up in to the sky! She had seen that the beach offered various watersports and was interested in trying some while she was on holiday. She paid the fee and was helped into the harness putting extra suncream on her arms while she was waiting. Suddenly she heard a voice say her name and she looked up surprised... "Bernie...?". It was Gary... an old army mate who she hadn't seen for a couple of years but they had served together on tour at one point in her career. "Gary... what are you doing here?" she smiled at him and he shook her hand. "Ummm I am working here for a while to earn some money and have a break... split up with the girlfriend so wanted to get away for a bit... you? what are you doing here...? holiday?" he smiled back at her.

"Yep... I left the army last year... did you hear about the accident?" he nodded as he had heard updates from their mutual mate James. "I'm sorry you split up from Claire... are you ok... weren't you together for years?". He nodded... "Yes... just didn't work out... i'm doing better now thanks... I love it here... may stay for a while...". They agreed to catch up more when she had done the paragliding, he would be taking her out on the speedboat himself. Her harness and all the checks were done and they set off on the sea in the bright sunshine.

Serena was completely relaxed when the teacher came round to see how they were all getting on... "That's really very good... do you do much painting...?". Serena nodded at Alice the teacher and smiled... "Yes... well i've only really started again lately but I do try and paint a few times a week." She carried on trying to capture the perfect colours of the sea... mixing blue and green and trying to get the sparkling effect. Some more glasses of juice came round and Serena thought of Bernie again... she hoped she was ok and looked out as far as she could... trying to see the speedboats she could see in the distance circulating round parts of the gentle waves.

Bernie felt the rush of going up in the air behind the speedboat and it was amazing! She loved it and held on tightly to the bar in front of her... taking in the gorgeous view of the area and particularly the beach and sea beneath her. There was a gentle breeze and she could see Gary on the speedboat below giving her a thumbs up... she gave a small wave back and took some deep breaths... this felt wonderful.

Serena had finished her class and was sitting on the terrace with her book... her painting still drying next to her. She thought she could have seen Bernie about fifteen minutes ago in the air but she couldn't be sure it was her. She was sipping a gin and tonic and decided she would try and call Jason as the terrace was quiet and Jason may be on his lunch break now as he always liked it promptly at 12pm if possible. She checked the time again and worked out that it would be around that time back home.

After three rings Jason picked up..."Hello Auntie Serena....". Serena smiled to herself at his voice... "Hi Jason... how are you?". He told her all about his camping trip... he had enjoyed it although the weather had been unpredictable and there was some noise on the campsite. Work was going ok this week so far and he was staying with Celia. Serena filled him in on her week so far and said how much she was enjoying it and felt very relaxed here.

Jason was so pleased she was having a lovely holiday... "That's such good news... I was worried about you... even though I know Bernie will look after you...". Serena reassured him and said Bernie was paragliding at the moment which Jason thought was 'very cool'. She told him about the trip planned for tomorrow which she thought he would be interested in and he wanted some picture texts if possible tomorrow which Serena smiled at. She told him she would call again on Thursday and he thanked her for ringing.

When Bernie returned to the ground, it was Gary's lunch break so they went for a quick drink at the nearest beach bar. They each mentioned their other mutual mates and Bernie enjoyed chatting about her army days again. Gary asked about Alex and Bernie murmured that she wasn't in touch with her anymore. Gary looked slightly puzzled and Bernie spoke very quietly... "We split up... I still divorced Marcus though... it was all a bit of a mess...". He touched her arm... "Sorry to hear that Bern... who are you on holiday with...?".

Bernie broke into a beautiful grin and Gary could tell she had met someone else... he wasn't surprised... she was deeply attractive and a great person too. "I'm well... in a serious relationship with Serena now... we met at work... we are here together... it's been a difficult time though...". He waited for her to continue and she told him about Elinor's death. He looked extremely sorry and got her another drink. He filled her in on what had happened with his ex-girlfriend and that he was ready to date again now but not having any luck. "I want to settle down... Bern... I want a family..." she nodded and they swapped phone numbers. Bernie thought it may be nice to invite him to dinner with her and Serena this week if Serena felt up to it.

Serena went back to the room with a plate of sandwiches from the hotel bar and sat on the balcony relaxing. Bernie came through the door and came straight to her pulling her into a tight cuddle... "How was your morning... did you enjoy it?". Serena passed her a sandwich and they sat together chatting. Bernie told her about seeing Gary and finding the paragliding amazing! Serena told her about the painting and showed her what she had done. Bernie smiled... "You are really excellent you know... i'm so glad you enjoyed it...". Serena nodded and really wanted to spend time together on the beach this afternoon. She was happy to meet Bernie's friend maybe tomorrow evening if Bernie wanted to organise it.

They sat holding hands for a while lazily after lunch drinking coffee's before getting their things together to go to the beach. It was just in front of their hotel and Bernie put her things into Serena's bag. Suncream was re-applied and because it was so warm Serena just pulled her sarong round her waist over her swimsuit. Bernie was still feeling self-conscious about her scars so covered up with her shorts and a clean t-shirt over her tankini. Serena kissed her gently... "No one will be bothered or take notice of your scars you know... you are beautiful...". Bernie shrugged and said she would undress when they got there. She put her ipod into Serena's bag and a big bottle of water and they set off...

The beach was quite busy but they found a quieter spot near the rocks that was more secluded. They put their towels on the sunbeds and Serena lay down to read watching the small children play at the edge of the sea. She smiled at them and turned to look at Bernie who had shrugged her shorts off but was still a bit unsure about taking her t-shirt off. Serena stood up and stroked along Bernie's back... "Do you know how gorgeous I find you... Bernie?". Bernie looked at her and raised her eyebrows squinting slightly as the sun was very bright.

"I think you are absolutely stunning... totally beautiful... your body frankly takes my breath away..." she kissed along the back of Bernie's neck and stroked back down her arms giving Bernie goosebumps. "Umm thank you... ok... point taken..." and with that she removed her top and lay on her towel in just her tankini...

"There... better?" Serena grinned at her and Bernie smiled back... "Thank you... you know... you always make me feel better...". Serena reached for her hand... "Just being honest darling..." Bernie settled then with her ipod on while Serena read her book and all they could hear were the gentle waves and the beautiful sound of small children giggling.

After a while Serena dozed off and Bernie went for a dip in the sea. The sunbeds were right by the edge so if Serena woke up Bernie knew she would see her. She felt the sun on her back and paddled deeper... trying to relax and be in the moment. She thought about Gary and how happy he had been with his girlfriend once... she was sad they weren't together anymore and thought how lucky she was to have Serena... her one and only. The sea was cold but not unbearable and she looked out into the distance feeling at peace and very much in love with her other half... her soulmate... god she was happy...


	93. Wednesday

Bernie stopped along the path by the beach panting... she was out of breath from running and it was really peaceful with hardly anyone about very early. She got her breath back and felt the warmth of the sun starting to heat up on her arms. The waves of the sea were sloshing gently and she could smell the saltwater pulling her hair tie out and re-doing her short ponytail as most of her hair had come loose from it.  

She smiled to herself thinking back to last night when Serena had made her unbelievably happy by asking her to move in with her over dinner. Serena had taken her hand and interlocked their fingers together gazing at her and said the time was right if she would like to and it had taken Bernie's breath away that this was now actually happening and it felt so wonderful... it was what she wanted for them... for her... for Serena, there was nothing she wanted more and they had celebrated with more drinks when they had got back to their room on the balcony... feeling so happy and in love with each other.    

Serena had been asleep when she had left to come for a run twenty minutes ago and she knew she should get back soon to shower and be ready for their coach trip to Dubrovnik today. The hotel was packing them some breakfast to take on the coach as it was an early start. She turned round and made her way back.... half jogging and half stopping to walk and look out on the horizon out to sea... wow... she loved being away on holiday... she hadn't had a proper holiday like this for... as long as she could remember.... travelling with the army wasn't the same at all.

Serena woke to the sound of her alarm and realised that Bernie wasn't back from her run yet. She took a shower and was just dressing in the bedroom when Bernie appeared with two fresh juices from the beach cafe for them to have while they got ready. Serena wanted a kiss... even a sweaty one... and Bernie giggled as Serena slightly tickled her in the process... "Serena..." she kissed her back and stripped off to her underwear ready to head in the shower. Serena raised her right eyebrow at her and winked... "Too gorgeous...." she sighed and Bernie chuckled taking herself into the bathroom to get ready.

They both went down to the Reception area with one rucksack for the trip that was Bernie's.... the recepionist handed them their tickets for the coach and they waited outside with several others who were also taking the trip. Serena put her sunglasses on and smoothed her top down. Bernie winked at her and whispered how beautiful she looked. Serena blushed and touched her arm affectionately.  

When the coach pulled up they were the first on... taking two seats near the back and relaxing. It would take an hour and a half to get to Dubrovnik but they didn't mind.... Bernie especially was looking forward to looking round and Serena never minded doing things like that and thought it would be nice to potter round together. Serena dosed on and off while Bernie looked out of the window with her ipod on passing a bottle of water between them at regular intervals.

They got to the drop off point around 11am and the small group of them got off taking note to be back at the coach for 4.30pm. They were given a map and some tickets for the walking tour of the Old Town. Bernie suggested they go somewhere for a coffee while they decided what to do and Serena happily agreed. It was getting very warm and she shrugged off her kaftan so she was just in a long navy sleeveless top and floaty trousers. Bernie pointed to a small cafe on the main square and went to get them some drinks while Serena picked a table and sat down checking her mobile to see a text from Jason reminding her to take photo's to send to him. She smiled and took a look round... it was fairly busy but not overwhelming with people. It was pretty and very well looked after... lovely plants around and gorgeous statues.

Bernie sat down next to her and grinned... "I got us a coffee each and some cold soft drinks... the sun is hotting up". She applied some more suncream to her bare arms before taking a sip of her coffee. Serena closed her eyes and felt the sun warm her face.... "This is so lovely...." she murmured.... "What do you want to do first...?". Bernie mentioned the walking tour before it got even hotter and Serena nodded.... there was another one leaving in twenty five minutes that they could join so they planned to do that and then have some lunch back in the square.

Bernie asked if Serena was feeling ok and Serena grinned... "Very happy... darling..." Bernie grinned back... "Me too..." they reached for each other's hand under the table and held on loosely while they drank their coffee's and took in the scenery. The walking tour was excellent... Bernie enjoyed it immensely and Serena was happy to take in the history of the place and take photo's to send to Jason. She text a couple to him and also mentioned the good news that Bernie was going to be moving in with them... she had asked her last night. It would probably be in around two - three weeks as she had to give two weeks notice to her landlord.

Jason text back straight away with a huge smiley face and just two words... 'About time!!'. Serena smiled and put her phone down wanting to take in the sights and spend this quality time with Bernie. The tour included access to the various churches and palaces around and Bernie was enjoying it so much. They gradually made their way back with the group to the starting point... the square... happily and fairly tired.

Bernie chose where to eat and they had a typical Croatian stew for lunch and two glasses of wine. Serena made a toast with her wine glass... "To us... and our future...". Bernie grinned at her shyly... "I love you Serena...." they blushed at each other and ate quietly taking in the beautiful day.

During the afternoon they walked round the streets popping in and out of the small shops and generally relaxing. Bernie bought some local gifts for Cam and Charlotte while Serena picked up some chocolates for Jason and a guidebook that went into the history of the area in detail... she knew he would like that. When they stopped to sit down on a bench in the square Bernie helped to rub suncream onto Serena's shoulders as she felt she was starting to burn. It really was beautifully hot and sunny and they sat together quietly having a rest looking around at the people in the square enjoying the day.

They walked leisurely back to the coach at 4.15pm taking the chance to have an ice cream before their journey back to the hotel. Bernie fell asleep on Serena on the way back... and Serena thought how beautiful she looked... slightly tanned and more peaceful... somehow. The holiday was doing them both so much good and Serena couldn't wait to move forward to the next chapter of her life with Bernie moving in... she felt excited and content...

When they got back they traipsed up to their room and collapsed onto the bed in a cuddle. Both needed a nap before meeting Bernie's friend for drinks in a bit in the hotel bar. Bernie pulled off her clothes as she felt really hot and slipped into their bed in just her bra and pants. Serena winked at her and Bernie blushed... "Just too hot...."

Serena grinned... "You think I mind...? Luxury...." Bernie laughed and watched as Serena discarded her own clothes and crawled under the same cool sheets in her underwear too. They slept for a while on and off lazily kissing and falling asleep...

Bernie's alarm went off at 6.30pm and she stirred to find Serena sitting on the balcony in her underwear!! She chuckled and went out to see her. "I'm just too hot...." Serena laughed herself and said that no one could see into their room. Bernie laughed too... "Let's hope not... you're all mine Campbell" and she gave her an affectionate wink. She sat on one of the other chairs and Serena pouted slightly wanting Bernie to sit on her lap...

Bernie moved over and perched on Serena without putting her full weight on her but Serena pulled her on properly and nuzzled into Bernie's neck... slowly kissing there and stroking her arms. Bernie got goosebumps and sighed happily... "We better get ready... said we would be down in the bar at 7.30pm". Serena nodded and they both got up to get dressed... both still very hot but dressing in cool clothes... Bernie in a smarter vest top and clean capri pants while Serena chose a long floaty but very casual dress.

They made their way down to the hotel bar to find Gary already there sitting with a beer. Bernie gave him a brief hug and introduced him to Serena who smiled at him. He shook her hand and motioned for them to sit down. They had a lovely evening... Serena liked him and enjoyed hearing about their army days together. Bernie made her feel included constantly which felt lovely and Gary was interested to hear all about Serena.

They sat drinking until around 10pm.... Bernie got some bar snacks for them all to share as they had all had a big lunch and weren't very hungry with the heat. Serena was keen to hear about Gary's job doing the paragliding on the beach and he told them how he had got into it and that he was enjoying it out here... he had three months left on his contract then he would decided what he was going to do.

They all said goodnight and Bernie said she would text him on Friday to see him before they flew home. Serena reached for Bernie's hand as they waited for the lift to take them back to their room. Bernie squeezed it tightly and held on until they got inside the room and they went to sit on the balcony with some ice cold water... no more alcohol as it was so hot.

Serena stripped her clothes off and was back to sitting in her underwear again and Bernie grinned at her... "You know what you do to me when you look like that...." she whispered and Serena smiled back shyly... "Not sure... why don't you tell me...". Bernie was back on her lap in her vest and pants but had slipped her capri pants off on the way over to the chair. They cuddled again and nuzzled each other... Bernie kissing Serena's neck and down along the top of her bra... Serena looked at her... intensely... before reaching to pull Bernie's vest off and kissing her passionately... she unhooked Bernie's bra and let it fall on the floor before she caught a nipple in between her lips and kissed softly... "Serena...." Bernie whispered, gasping slightly.... "Are you sure no one can see...?".

Serena nodded catching her other nipple this time and sucking slightly harder watching Bernie's reaction with her eyes. Bernie didn't really have time to register anything else as she was aware of Serena shifting slightly underneath her and pulling her up and over to their bed. Bernie followed slowly... holding her hand and giving her an 'Are you sure...' look.

Serena, catching Bernie's drift just nodded and pushed her onto the bed playfully sliding her pants off in the process making Bernie grin with surprise and stretch herself on the bed. Serena stroked and kissed her body making Bernie pant and pull her in for an intense kiss. Serena worked her magic on Bernie's breasts... teasing with her lips and fingers in a way that she knew drew Bernie wild and then settled further down... she knew Bernie was ready for her... and god did that make her feel aroused in the most wonderful... passionate way...


	94. Thursday

It was mid-morning and Serena and Bernie were laying on comfy sunloungers on the beach... the same spot they had been before... relaxing and enjoying the feel of the warm sun as they relaxed together and listened to the waves gently lap right by them.

The beach was slightly busier this morning but they still had more privacy in the secluded spot near the rocks where Bernie felt more comfortable stripping off into her swimwear. She had loved swimming in the sea the other day and although it was fairly cold she soon warmed up when she got in and found it so relaxing. Serena was rubbing waterproof suncream softly into her shoulders and providing light kisses which Bernie grinned at.... "Those are nice...." she murmured as Serena wrapped her arms round her waist tightly when she had finished and placed one last kiss to her shoulder.... "There all done... don't be too long... we need to change in the room before the yacht cruise this afternoon...".

Bernie nodded and smiled... Serena was really looking forward to the cruise and she had to admit it did sound lovely on the leaflet she had read when they had booked it.

Serena picked her book up from the lounger to read as Bernie took her shorts off and threw them on to her own lounger before heading into the sea. Serena thought it looked too cold and was happy just to relax and read her book... she had bought it on Matthew's recommendation on dealing with a major bereavement and was understanding what the book was saying and thinking about trying the suggestions when she got back home.

She had to admit she felt a bit down today and Bernie had noticed but hadn't pressed her on it just held her hand over breakfast and smiled at her.... god Bernie's smile always made her feel better. She was looking forward to the cruise around the edge of the island later and concentrated on how lovely that would be with Bernie rather than dwell too much on her loss.

She saw Bernie give her a small wave from quite far out in the water and she waved back. Bernie was a strong swimmer and she lay back down content to feel the sun on her arms... she put her book down and watched a little boy on the edge of the water looking for shells... it made her smile... she had done that with Elinor when she was little and they always came back from the seaside with a whole bucket full that Elinor had displayed in her bedroom for weeks afterwards. She allowed herself to think about this memory with joy and happiness instead of a deep sadness. She was using these little techniques that would hopefully allow her to live her life.... the loss would always be with her but she could find moments of peace and be happy.... she knew she wanted to do that for Bernie as well as herself...

Bernie came out of the sea tiptoeing along the hot sand to the sunloungers and smiled at Serena... she was dripping wet with cold water and collapsed down, drying herself and laying on top of her towel to let herself dry off. "Are you ok....?" she whispered to Serena and reached for her hand...

"This book is really helping... I am making myself use the suggested techniques and of course Matthew has been so wonderful too....". Bernie laced their fingers together and Serena sighed looking into Bernie's eyes... "How was the water...?"

Bernie grinned... "Yes... lovely... you should try it before we go home....". Serena managed a small chuckle and said she would definitely swim in the hotel pool at somepoint...

They packed up their things into Serena's bag around forty five minutes later and headed back up to their room. Both wanted to shower and change before going on the yacht. Serena re-packed her bag and waited for Bernie to finish getting ready on the balcony. She read some more of the book.... the section she was reading focused on dealing with emotional pain and she read through the pages carefully.... this was something she was really trying to work on in appropriate, healthy ways.

Bernie appeared... ready to go and Serena smiled at her... "You look lovely...." Bernie had dressed up slightly and she held out her hand for Serena to take as they made their way from their room.... down through the hotel and to the beach where the yacht cruise was leaving from.

The sun was baking hot now and they both put their sunglasses on waiting in the small queue to board the yacht. Once on board they settled at a table in the middle and watched other people come on to the deck and find seats. Serena looked at the bar menu and grinned, Bernie caught her expression and laughed... "Feeling better now...?" she raised her eyebrow and Serena chuckled... "Yes... look at the cocktail list....".

Bernie took a photo of Serena looking all glamorous on the yacht and reached across to see the menu for herself.... the drinks did look amazing and were included in the price of the ticket. When everyone had sat down, the guide welcomed them and explained where they were going to sail to. It would take about thirty minutes and then they would stop for lunch on board. They would then sail for an hour round the west edge of the island before stopping off for the snorkelling part. Bernie grinned... she was looking forward to that part the most!

Serena sat back trying to relax and Bernie applied some more suncream before her arms turned bright red. She rubbed some on Serena's back and shoulders as well as Serena had changed into a dressy strappy top in their room. Serena thanked her and kissed her cheek lovingly.... both of them now closing their eyes and enjoying the sensation of being on the water... occasionally looking out into the distance and around at the views of the beautiful island.

When they pulled up and stopped... several waitresses gave out the lunches of pasta, breads and various local cheeses to try. The cocktails were also now brought round that they had each ordered. Serena had gone for a champagne cocktail while Bernie had ordered a Manhattan to start with...

They sipped their drinks and Bernie moved round to sit by Serena instead of across from her while they ate.... the food was really delicious and the whole trip was really very relaxing... Bernie thought Serena needed these type of pressure free activities at the moment... she realised she had seemed a bit down this morning and was really glad they were coming on the cruise this afternoon as it was something Serena had really wanted to do.

After lunch... while they were sailing to the snorkelling part of the trip... Serena ordered another champagne cocktail and Bernie went for a Whiskey Sour this time. Serena lay back with her head resting on Bernie's chest as a slight breeze caught their hair as the yacht moved a little faster now. Bernie rested her hands on Serena's waist and they both relaxed into each other happily...

Bernie took off her top when they arrived at the next stop and Serena rubbed some more suncream on her back as her tankini was more or less backless. Serena watched her go off to get the appropriate equipment with some of the others on board and smiled. She folded Bernie's clothes neatly and put them on the table sipping her cocktail and looking into the sea for when Bernie would go in... the water was really calm and still in this part of the sea.

About half of the people on the yacht wanted to snorkel so it took a while to get everyone ready but Serena soon noticed Bernie swimming round to her side of the yacht and smiling up at her. Serena waved and watched as she went under the water using the mask and mouthpiece. It was quite basic equipment but she could tell Bernie was loving it. The guide mentioned to the rest of the group still on board that they could swim if they wanted to and several then got up and undressed leaving their clothes on the seats or in their bags. Serena didn't fancy swimming... she was however really enjoying herself and ordered a glass of ice cold water to have before she would have another cocktail.

She saw Bernie come up from under the sea and gave her another wave... Bernie was beaming up at her... god she loved this woman with all her heart... this trip was just what they needed and as she looked out to the sea around the yacht she felt a peace come over her.... things were going to be ok...


	95. Friday

Bernie had woken early as usual and had decided to go for a run as Serena wouldn't be awake for ages... she pulled on her running shorts and a vest in the bathroom and washed her face. Grabbing a bottle of water she opened the hotel door quietly to find a bright purple lilo with a post it note on it... 'Enjoy, going home today'. She looked down the corridor and couldn't see anyone about so shrugged to herself and left it inside the room.

Doing some stretches just outside by one of the swimming pools she felt the sun start to warm up on her shoulders... gently jogging to the path she took a quick look round spotting two people already swimming in the sea. She started to jog a bit faster and gave herself a goal to run right to the end of the path and then go and have a paddle in the sea when she got back...

Serena rolled over to find the bed empty and a note from Bernie on her pillow... 'Gone for a run, won't be long, you always look beautiful asleep xx'. She smiled and closed her eyes for another few minutes. She was thinking that they only had today and tomorrow left of the holiday... she didn't feel ready to go home yet, she was enjoying herself here and had felt more relaxed than she had in ages. 

Bernie was sitting on one of the beach sun loungers getting her breath back. She watched the people in the sea laughing and swimming. She carefully removed her trainers and socks leaving them on the lounger and paddled for a bit on the cold edge of the water... a family had come down for an early morning swim and it made her think of Cam and Charlotte and the very few family holidays they had all been on together. She sighed and felt a wave of regret wash over her... maybe they would like to go on holiday with her and Serena in the future... if Serena wanted to... maybe not... they were all grown up now but she could at least offer... she collected her things and made her way back up to the hotel.

Serena was sitting on the balcony in her silky robe when Bernie returned and Serena called to her. Bernie stepped onto the balcony and saw Serena sipping coffee and texting on her phone... "Just texting Jason.... sit down... how was your run...?". Bernie sat on the other chair and smiled... "Yep... lovely... went for a paddle too... it's so peaceful early on...". Serena grinned at her and put her phone down reaching to put her hand on Bernie's thigh. "Serena... i'm all...."

"Sweaty... I know...." Serena grinned at her but Bernie laughed and shook her head... "No... really I feel disgusting... I ran further this morning and it's really warm already..." she took a large sip of water and closed her eyes but Serena was not giving up that easily...

"Please sit on my lap for a minute..." she pouted and Bernie shook her head... "Nope... there is sweat all down my back... horrible... going for a shower in a second...". Serena began to tickle her slightly where she knew she was ticklish... her knees...

Bernie gave in immediately and rested slightly on Serena's lap... she was pulled on properly and kissed sensually by Serena who was grinning and stroking Bernie's bare legs slowly. When they broke apart... Bernie was gasping slightly and Serena just kissed her again more firmly. "How did you sleep...?" Bernie murmured breaking apart and trying to calm her heart rate down... "Yes... better thank you... what about you?". Bernie said she had been a bit hot so had a mixed night's sleep. They decided to relax by the pool today and then go to the wine tasting tonight.

Serena asked Bernie where the lilo had come from and Bernie said she knew as much as Serena only the reading the post it note. Serena liked it though and was going to go in the pool today so would take it down with them. She kissed Bernie's neck gradually but Bernie stopped her... "Nope... you are not going any further... I feel disgusting Serena...". She got up off her lap and Serena playfully helped her off with her shorts... she pouted... "can I not even get a view of you before you get in the shower...?".

Bernie was chuckling now... "Were you like this with Edward and Robbie?". Serena laughed... "God no... complete turn off when they were all hot and bothered... but you... you look completely ravishing...". She raised her eyebrow at Bernie as she slowly stripped off her vest and straddled Serena for a second allowing Serena to kiss all over her chest before winking and heading to the bathroom...

They had a leisurely breakfast outside and then headed back to the room to change. Serena was smothering herself in sun tan oil while Bernie was texting Gary to see if he wanted to join them at the wine tasting tonight. She was going to text him today anyway and Serena had suggested that Bernie invite him along. Serena put on her swim suit, packed her bag and sat back on the balcony tying her sarong around herself and replying to Jason who said that he was having a good week but missing her. He was happy she was enjoying herself though and said to say hi to Bernie.

Bernie put her tankini on in the bathroom and put a clean vest and shorts on over the top. She checked her mobile back in the bedroom and smiled to see that Gary indeed would like to join them later. She called through to Serena and put her few things in Serena's bag before grabbing the lilo and heading down to the swimming pool together.

Bernie chose two sun loungers for them while Serena went to the on site small supermarket for some cold drinks for them both. She found Bernie laying on her beach towel... eyes closed in just her vest and tankini, she was becoming more confident about showing her legs. Serena was glad... Bernie was stunningly gorgeous and shouldn't feel self conscious about her scars. She lay down on the other lounger next to Bernie and reached for her hand squeezing it... "Have you got enough sun cream on... don't want you to burn...". Bernie thought she had for now but would keep topping it up...

They lay relaxing for the rest of the morning, Serena reading and just letting her eyes close listening to the sounds of people in the pool and children enjoying their holiday. She decided she would like to take a swim and Bernie helped her put more sun tan oil on her shoulders and back as she removed her sarong and stood up with the lilo heading over to the pool. Bernie watched her go... god Serena had the most amazing backside... she grinned to herself and put her ipod on while she lay watching Serena get into the pool...

Half an hour later Serena was still on the lilo floating around in the warm water... swirling it slightly with her fingers and smiling over at Bernie... she was enjoying herself... this was so relaxing and she was still feeling a little stronger... able to take pleasure in simple things again... 

She got out and returned to the sun loungers where she found Bernie sipping her water and wanting to go in the pool herself. She saw that Serena was looking a bit red on her shoulders and on the edge of her swimsuit by her chest and mentioned that it was starting to look a bit sore. Serena sat down on her lounger and fished out her after sun lotion from her bag. She applied some while Bernie shrugged off her vest and picked up the lilo to go and use in the pool herself.

Around lunchtime they both headed in to the hotel bar to have a sandwich and a drink. It was air conditioned in there and the staff didn't mind people bringing in beach things which was very handy! Serena was feeling quite sore from where the sun had caught her skin and Bernie was concerned and offered to get Serena a t-shirt from their room to cover up. Serena nodded gratefully and Bernie went up to get it for her... she also bought back down an ice pack from their mini fridge/freezer.

They sat in the bar for a bit chatting and generally relaxing... both agreed that they were loving the holiday and weren't ready to go home yet. Bernie reached for Serena's hand... "Let me have a look at your skin...". It was red around where the straps of her swimsuit were and under the material across Serena's front. Bernie held the ice pack on for her which Serena thought was completely adorable. 

When they went back to the pool, Bernie moved the parasol a little so that Serena's lounger was covered by it... "You need to keep out of the sun this afternoon and drink plenty of water..." Serena nodded and decided to have a sleep.

Bernie listened to her music and relaxed... she was watching a little girl learning to swim in the children's pool and smiled. At 5pm they collected everything up and headed back up to the room to change to go out... the wine tasting included dinner and was just by the hotel in a small village. Bernie checked Serena's burns when she had got out of the shower and rubbed some more after sun in for her lovingly... "I always want to take care of you...." she kissed Serena's burnt skin better and Serena felt butterflies in her stomach... she pulled Bernie into a kiss and Bernie wrapped her arms round Serena's bare back and held her close.

They each got dressed... Serena was wearing dark capri pants and a classy short sleeved chiffon shirt while Bernie had on white capri pants and a more dressy vest top. They enjoyed a drink on the balcony together before they set off to meet Gary outside of the restaurant.

"Ladies...." Gary greeted them with a kiss to the cheek for each of them and they smiled at him all going through to sit down where the guide was showing them. They ordered some food and Gary wanted to hear all about how much they were enjoying their holiday. He mentioned that the paragliding had been very busy so business was good!

They chatted and tried the first round of wine on offer which Serena loved and Bernie rolled her eyes and grinned... "She loves her wine...". Serena blushed slightly and smiled... "It's really very good... do you like it Gary?". He nodded and they ordered desserts while moving on to try wine number two.

By the end of the first five rounds Bernie was beginning to feel a little tipsy, she was feeling giggly and took herself off to the toilet. Serena noticed Gary gazing after Bernie as she warily walked to the end of the restaurant in search of the toilets. "So... you like Bernie...?". He looked at her cautiously... "Yes of course... she's a great woman...".

"No I mean you like her... are attracted to her..." Serena eyed him cautiously while he looked down. "I guess I do a bit Serena... i'm sorry... I would never... do anything or tell her or anything...". Serena just sighed... "It's ok... I know how bloody gorgeous she is...". They sat in silence until Bernie got back and ordered herself a large glass of water.

"Bernie... i'm going to head back to the room... you stay though... darling... i'm fine...". Bernie looked at her with concern... "Are you sure your ok...? I'm coming with you...". She got up and Gary just said it was fine if they both went. Bernie wondered what was going on but paid for their meals and walked with Serena quietly back to the room. Serena was acting very strangely and Bernie asked her again if she was ok. 

They were sat together on the balcony and Serena told her what had happened... "It's Gary... he likes.. you...". Bernie's eyes grew wide... "No... no... not like that...". "Yes... Bernie... exactly like that... and I felt... well you know...". Bernie pulled Serena onto her lap this time and held her tightly... "Serena... I love you... i'm in love with you...". Serena nodded shyly... "I know you do... it's just someone else liking you... like that... it hurt...". Bernie nodded and squeezed her harder. "Let me take a look at your burns... ". Serena pulled her shirt over slightly so Bernie could see each shoulder and then Bernie kissed along Serena's chest where the skin was also red... "You are so beautiful... your poor skin...".

"It will be fine... but the kisses are nice...." Serena groaned slightly and Bernie nuzzled her neck with her lips... "You must never think I would look at anyone else... ever... and I mean... Gary... really? Serena you are completely stunning and my everything... I can't wait to move in with you... I'm in love with you...". Serena just cuddled into Bernie happily and relaxed as Bernie traced her fingers along Serena's burns... it still gave her butterflies... 


	96. Saturday

Bernie woke early and realised Serena wasn't laying next to her in bed... she listened to see if she was perhaps in the bathroom and when she realised she wasn't she got up and wandered out on to the balcony where Serena was sat. "Hi... are you ok?" Bernie sat down on the other chair and held her hand out for Serena to take if she wanted to... Serena laced their fingers together and smiled at her... "Couldn't get back to sleep... woke about half an hour ago... just admiring the beautiful view...". Bernie squeezed her hand and smiled... "Yes... not ready to go home tomorrow...".

They sat quietly together for a while just enjoying the peace until Bernie motioned for Serena to sit on her lap... they cuddled together and talked about what they were going to do on their last day... Bernie thought they should make the most of relaxing around the hotel or beach and Serena nodded. Bernie wanted to have a go at jet skiing for an hour this morning but the rest of the day they decided they would spend on the beach because soon they would be back home where they wouldn't have the opportunity to sit on a hot sandy beach.

Serena stroked up and down Bernie's bare arms creating goosebumps and making Bernie shiver, "Are you not going for a run this morning?" Serena raised her right eyebrow and Bernie shook her head... "No not this morning... how about we cuddle up in bed for a bit before breakfast..." Serena got up carefully off her lap and still holding hands they made their way back into the room for a bit...

They both felt sad during breakfast that this was their last day. When they were sufficiently full of fruit, yoghurt and pastries they made their way back up to the room to change for the beach. Serena was going to go and get them a good spot while Bernie went on a jet ski and then they would relax together. Bernie checked Serena's burns over and they still looked quite sore so Serena sensibly put her swimsuit on but covered up fully with her sarong and a navy t-shirt to cover her shoulders up. Bernie changed into her tankini and covered it with a clean vest and shorts... Serena helped her to put on sun cream and Bernie put everything she would need for the beach in Serena's big beach bag.

Bernie helped Serena to put extra sun tan oil on everywhere and Serena was giggling laying on the bed... "You're tickling me...". Bernie grinned... "Sorry just making sure you don't burn today!". Serena leaned up to kiss her gently and rested her hands on Bernie's waist. "Are you going to be seeing Gary doing your watersports...?". Bernie shrugged her shoulders but turned to face Serena as she said... "I want to find him today anyway and talk to him before we leave. Make sure he knows that I am yours and well... he wouldn't be my type anyway..." she blushed at this and Serena just nodded understanding that Bernie would hate for someone to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, they were old mates and she didn't want to leave things like the other night when they had both left the meal early. "Well make sure he knows... you are not available... at all or ever..." Serena was blushing now while she cuddled up to Bernie's chest... "I love you and I am never letting you go Bernie Wolfe...". Bernie grinned at her and held her tighter... "Understood... the same goes for you by the way...".

Serena had wandered onto the beach... the sun was blazing and it was busy already. She found their usual quieter spot and settled onto one of the loungers with her things putting Bernie's beach towel on the lounger next to it. She kept her sarong and t-shirt on and put her feet up taking her book out of her bag and settling to read for a bit. She noticed couples surrounding her all looking loved up and smiled to herself... she was one of those people now... in love and just happy to spend her time with the gorgeous person she loved most.

Bernie was sat waiting to go on the jet ski's... she paid and sat to wait for the next one. She spotted Gary standing by the water helping someone into their safety vest... she sighed... this was going to be awkward... she walked over to him when he had finished... "Morning...". He smiled at her and they sat down on the sand for a few minutes...

"Bernie... I know Serena must have said something to you... it's really embarrassing..." Gary was going red and looking down at his flip flop messing with the bottom of it. "No worries... no need to be embarrassed... it happens... and I know how it feels so I wanted to just say that I think you're a great mate... and a nice guy but... I am only interested in women now... well just the one..." she was blushing and he nodded... "I know... and I know you love each other...".

Bernie nodded firmly... "We do... very much and I'm sorry... truly... I wouldn't want to hurt you intentionally". He shrugged and smiled at her... "Not your fault... anyway... you want a go on a jet ski...?". She nodded and he helped her fix her safety vest to go on next...

Serena could see Bernie in the distance talking to Gary and her heart lurched with nerves... it had really shaken her that someone else who knew Bernie was interested in her like that... she knew Bernie wasn't at all interested back but she had felt extremely jealous and unsettled. Bernie was... everything... her whole life and they were moving in together... she didn't want anyone... shaking that up. She made herself lay back on the lounger and close her eyes... deep breaths... that's what Matthew had taught her to do when she felt upset and picturing happy moments... no matter who they were with... she began to feel calmer and picked up her book to continue reading...

Bernie spent forty five minutes on the jet ski and of course loved it, the feeling of whizzing through the water was amazing and she carefully pulled up in the shallower part of the sea to stop safely. Gary came to help her off and she said goodbye to him... "I hope you find happiness mate... you deserve it and it's a lovely life out here... keep in touch...". He nodded and waved as she turned round and headed back to where she knew Serena would be... in their quieter spot on the beach by the rocks...

Serena was asleep when Bernie had reached the sun loungers and she smiled lovingly at her before settling on her own lounger. She put her legs up and closed her eyes listening to the gentle lull of the waves and the two children next to her playing happily in the sand.

Serena woke her gently at 1.30pm for them to go and get some lunch. She asked Bernie about the jet skiing and Bernie said how much she had enjoyed it. Serena didn't ask about Gary and Bernie didn't offer any information about their chat... it was left now and dealt with... they collected their things up and went into the hotel bar for salad, chips and some drinks out of the sun.

On the way to the swimming pool afterwards they stopped in the small hotel gift shop to look at what they may buy later. They wanted something for Jason, Cam, Charlotte and some chocolates or sweets for AAU.

Serena went back up to the room to wash off the sand from her feet thoroughly and change her books over. Bernie had washed her feet in the sea and put her flip flops back on but Serena had been walking around in bare feet. She checked her red skin and decided it would be ok to change into a sleeveless top now and she wanted to go in the pool. She collected the lilo and headed back down finding Bernie laying on one of the soft loungers by the quieter pool.

As soon as Serena joined her to settle on the loungers Bernie stripped off her vest and shorts to go swimming. Serena offered the lilo for her to take but Bernie shook her head... "Just want to have a swim... you use it though" she smiled and kissed Serena lightly on her shoulder before self consciously walking to the pool with her towel.

Serena watched her go and thought of another happy memory of Elinor in a swimming pool when she was younger... sun tanned and diving into the pool like a mermaid... she had been so confident in the water. She was able to think of happy memories and see them as that... Matthew had taught her to do it and it was really helping.

She watched Bernie swim in the pool and smiled... "She really was so beautiful and had no idea..." she picked her up novel and relaxed sipping her bottle of water.

Bernie came back to the loungers dripping wet with the towel wrapped round her middle... "Your turn...". Serena laughed... "Just on the lilo for me..." Bernie nodded and applied waterproof sun cream onto Serena's shoulders which made her groan as Bernie was rubbing it in very sensually. Bernie chuckled... "You will have to stop that Serena... there are children around...". Serena just laughed quietly and nodded... "Going..." she grabbed the lilo stripping down to her swimsuit which resulted in a wink from Bernie and she went over to the pool to relax.

At 6pm they went up to the room to rest for a bit and change for their last meal out together here. Bernie had let Serena choose and she had chosen a little restaurant on the front looking out to sea which served mainly fish. They had a drink on the balcony before heading out and stood looking out to sea... their arms wrapped round each other tightly... "Serena... i've been thinking..." Bernie whispered as they stood dressed up ready to head out in a minute...

"Mmm...?" Serena looked into her eyes. "Are you sure about me moving in with you... I really want to and you have made me so happy but I am also fine to wait... you know... it has to be when you are ready and if you are sure you are then I definitely will... you know that... but it has been such an awful time and if you aren't quite sure then I would like you to say...".

Serena kissed her lips gently... "Definitely sure... I would have asked you a while ago... just with... what happened... things got well... you know...". Bernie nodded kissing her back and sliding her arms round Serena's waist and pulling her closer. "Can't wait then..." she beamed... "When would you like me to move in....?" Serena shrugged her shoulders... "Whenever you can... how much notice do you have to give on the flat?". Bernie said two weeks and Serena grinned... "Two weeks then..." and pushed her body firmly up against Bernie's pulling her face slowly back to hers for another deep kiss... they both felt upset to be going home tomorrow but so so happy for the next step of their lives together... that was going to be so exciting and full of love...


	97. Wednesday

Serena was sitting in the office back at work and thinking over her lovely holiday... all a distant memory now as she was back on AAU and the red phone had just rung. Bernie had shot up to answer it from her chair and Serena was about to go and see what needed to be done but was just thinking ahead to this afternoon...

She was back working every morning and still had another two weeks of having the afternoons off... Ric had kindly agreed to this and she was spending the time attending her counselling sessions, painting, being there for Jason and had begun to sort out Bernie moving in with her... she needed to have a clear out so that in two weeks time Bernie actually had room to move her things in!

Morven suddenly rushed in and said she was needed so Serena put down her coffee cup and followed the young doctor out of the door. Bernie was dealing with a trauma patient... nasty accident involving a chainsaw and Serena looked to her partner to lead and would support her where necessary...

They both went back to the office at lunchtime after working tirelessly for the rest of the morning to save the man's arm... they felt they had done everything they could and it looked to be all ok with him just needing pain relief and physio once he had recovered. Bernie smiled at Serena and Serena smiled back. " I need to go in a minute to make my counselling session... are you ok this afternoon without me?" Serena was looking at Bernie with a serious expression and Bernie grinned at her...

"Professionally I would say I would be ok... personally not so much... I enjoyed our week together so very much Serena...". Serena blushed slightly and nodded... "Me too... and I will meet you at your old house at 5pm like we talked about...". Bernie smiled at her gratefully... on the plane journey home on Sunday, Bernie had mentioned collecting some of her things from her old house that Marcus still lived in. All those months ago when she had rushed out with just her holdall, she had left behind precious things of her mother's that she desperately wanted to get back and Serena had offered to come with her now they were going to be living together...

Bernie kissed Serena gently and went to see to the man's arm in bed four... she knew Serena would be heading off for her counselling session shortly and wanted to take over the running of the ward so Serena wouldn't worry about leaving.

Serena arrived at the building where she had been having her sessions with Matthew and locked her car, taking her handbag from the front seat and taking a deep breath... she knew she needed to have a session now she was back from her holiday but was feeling apprehensive about opening up her heart after such a relaxing break where she felt she was making progress...

She signed in at the desk and the receptionist smiled at her nodding. Sitting down and picking up a magazine as she was ten minutes early she checked her phone to see a text from Jason. He had been quite needy since her return from Croatia and she smiled typing back a comforting message that she would see him later for dinner. 

Matthew called her in to his room and she stood up smiling at him and going through to sit down. "Serena... hi...how have you been? You are looking very well..." he smiled at her and went to sit behind his desk. Serena smiled back and told him about her break with Bernie and how she had been generally doing over the last week...

He nodded and was writing some notes down as she was talking and when she stopped... he looked up and smiled at her. "Well sounds like the holiday was exactly what you needed and it helped a little in coping with your grief...". She nodded and went on to say that Bernie was moving in with her after she had asked her on holiday so she was looking forward to that and she planned to do some more painting perhaps taking some regular classes...

He smiled some more and wrote everything she was saying down... "So how are you feeling in yourself about Elinor now and what happened to her...". She took some deep breaths and sighed... "I... well... I think... I am getting more closure on what happened... finally and letting my mind deal with my thoughts as they come and staying with them instead of pushing them away and distracting myself." He nodded, encouraging her to carry on... 

"I feel that Bernie is a huge factor in how I am feeling and that I am coping better with it... the break away really helped... it was relaxing and just spending time together was wonderful. I need to look forward to our life together now she is moving in and accept that Elinor may not have been happy about it... even though it is difficult for me to think that because I am so happy...".

He looked up from what he was writing and looked curious... "She wasn't happy about your relationship with Bernie at all then?". Serena shrugged her shoulders... "I'm not entirely sure how she felt... we argued just before she died that I hadn't told her about it sooner and that I had kept things from her... she felt she was the last to know about some important things in my life... that's what she was upset about I think... but I don't really know if she was happy for me or not that I had... have found love again...".

Matthew wrote this down and asked her to think about this over the next week... he tried to assure her that she didn't actually know what Elinor thought about her new relationship with Bernie and it was important that she found happiness and love. Serena nodded and said she would think about it and they could continue the discussion next time. After some more chatting about her plans for the next few weeks... Serena stood up and picked her bag up from the other chair... "Thank you... you really help me make sense of things...". Matthew stood up and showed her out... "Pleasure Serena... you are doing so well... small steps...".

Bernie had left the hospital after her shift had finished and she was now sitting outside her old house waiting for Serena to join her. She checked the time on her mobile and knew that Serena would be here on time... she always was. She herself had got there early and was just sitting looking at the house she had come back to after so many army tours... the place that was supposed to be 'home', the place her children had mostly grown up and where her marriage had... well... clung loosely together throughout the years and then eventually exploded into a giant mess of hurt and pain.

She was suddenly aware of Serena's car parking behind hers and got out smiling at her through the windscreen. Serena opened the car door and got out taking her coat and bag and slipping her coat on as the air had gone chilly... she had been feeling the cold after the lovely warm sunshine of Croatia last week.

"Hi...." Serena kissed her cheek and slipped her hand into Bernie's cold one lovingly. "How was your counselling session...?" Bernie gripped Serena's hand tightly... she was feeling nervous about seeing Marcus and Serena squeezed her hand back. "Yes... it was good thank you... this will be fine... think positive and keep your mind focused on what you want to get...". Bernie nodded and thought about how she had nearly asked Cam or Charlotte to collect the things for her but then realised they wouldn't know exactly what the items were or where they would be likely to be. It was just easier to come and get them herself...

They walked up the short path to the front door of the house and Serena tucked her arm into Bernie's for reassurance. Bernie knocked and they waited...

Marcus opened the door after what seemed like five minutes... Bernie had arranged with him on Monday that today would be convenient for her to call round. "Bernie..." he spoke firmly and coldly. "Marcus... hi... you remember Serena...". He nodded and scowled at Serena... oh god... Serena felt really uncomfortable but she was here for Bernie and was staying put...

He showed them through to the lounge formally and Bernie tried to thaw the frosty atmosphere by asking him how he was. He shrugged and sat on the sofa... "Ok... you look tanned... been on holiday? I didn't think you could afford it after the divorce...". Bernie felt like she had been winded... "Umm yes we have just come back from a week in Croatia... can I have a look for the things I wanted to collect..." she glanced around not seeing any of them in the lounge.

"Go ahead... they may be in the spare room or attic...". He stayed seated and as Bernie left the room and Serena went to follow her, Marcus stopped her... "I wanted to just say that I am sorry about what happened to your daughter... I know we obviously won't get on but... it sounded awful and well I am sorry...".

Serena just nodded thank you and went straight after Bernie upstairs into what she realised was a spare room. The house was quite ancient and was in need of decorating... it hadn't been looked after and Serena wondered when it had been left to get like this... it had great potential but it felt cold, unloved and well... empty...

Bernie was sorting through some boxes and found a painting she wanted to keep... her mother had painted it when she was in her twenties and Bernie wanted to hang it in her new home at Serena's. Serena took a look and smiled... "It's beautiful... she was very talented...". Bernie nodded and wiped a tear from her cheek subtly. Serena cuddled her and they wrapped the painting back up in the brown paper that was on the side.

Serena sat on the bed that was in the room while Bernie looked for the other things she wanted to collect... a vase she had bought for her mother one birthday and the cards that Cam and Charlotte had sent her mother on birthday's and at Christmas when they were small... she showed Serena and Serena chuckled... very cute and she was actually ok about seeing drawings and the writing of younger children even though it reminded her of the cards Elinor had sent her. She took some deep breaths and was aware of Marcus hovering on the landing...

"Have you got everything you wanted as I am rather busy..." Marcus came into the room and Bernie looked up nodding. Serena got up off the bed and Marcus started an uncomfortable conversation... "So Serena... I just want to know so I can actually move on... did Bernie make a move on you while she was still married to me...?". 

Bernie flinched... this was completely inappropriate... "Marcus..." she sighed and picked up the items she wanted to take with her. She answered herself... "I've told you that nothing happened with Serena until we were getting divorced". Marcus looked like he didn't believe her.... "I would like to hear it from Serena...".

Serena looked bewildered but completely put his mind straight that nothing had happened between them while Bernie was trying to rebuild her life with Marcus... only after the divorce proceedings were underway. He sighed and looked annoyed... "Thank you for being honest... I am finding it hard to believe that my ex-wife managed to land herself an attractive woman the minute we got divorced... and Serena... I didn't even know you were a lesbian...".

Bernie wasn't having anymore... she took Serena's hand and said they were leaving... "Thank you for allowing me to get my things but we don't have to listen to this... oh and for future reference I will be living at Serena's from the 1st of the month... not that you deserve to know that information but in case you need to be in touch about the kids... bye Marcus".

Bernie was fuming and they both sat in Serena's car for a few minutes... Serena took Bernie's hand and kissed her wrist lovingly and then the palm of her hand... "Please don't worry about what just happened... I expected worse...". Bernie huffed... "What an idiot... god...  he makes me so mad... I don't mind what he says to me but how dare he speak to you like that...".

Serena leaned in to kiss Bernie firmly on the lips... "Forget it.. you have your things and that's the main thing... let's go home... can you stay with me tonight...? We can start to clear some room for your things... I want to go through my mother's items... maybe you could help me...?". Bernie kissed Serena back nodding and as she pulled away she noticed Marcus in the window of the house just staring at them...


	98. Saturday

Serena woke up to the sound of the alarm from her mobile. She stirred slowly and then remembered that Bernie hadn't stayed over last night... the bed felt cold and empty without her warm body pressed against her as so often happened when she woke up. Bernie had been sorting some bits out for the move at her flat last night and had offered to come and pick her up this morning ready to drive to the Ideal Home Show in London.

They thought it might be a nice thing for them to do together as Bernie was moving into Serena's house next week and some new stylish interior design ideas would be lovely to look at and browse round. Serena got up and went down to the kitchen to make a coffee taking it back upstairs and listening out for Jason who she gathered wasn't up yet. She took a long, hot shower and got dressed looking forward to spending the day with Bernie. It would take her mind off a day she was dreading... tomorrow... Elinor's birthday or would have been her birthday. Serena sighed while she applied her make up and perfume carefully... she had spoken to Matthew about how she was feeling yesterday at her counselling session and he had made sense by suggesting just taking things one step at a time and spending a lovely weekend with Bernie... focusing on the future and her moving in next week.

Bernie was actually running on time and was on her way over to pick Serena up. The packing and sorting of her flat was on track and although she had missed Serena like mad last night while they were apart, she had been busy looking through her things, packing items to take and cancelling her direct debits making sure everything was up to date and paid. Seeing Marcus this week had unsettled her and she couldn't believe how rude he had been to Serena. She had sent him a text the evening they had been round to the old house saying he had been out of order but only had a brief reply back saying.... 'I can think and say what I like'.

She pulled up outside Serena's house... soon to be her new address and got out leaving her bag and jacket on the front seat. She rang the doorbell and Jason answered smiling at her and letting her into the hall to wait for Serena. "How are you Bernie...?" he followed her into the lounge to sit down for a minute as he was finishing his breakfast. "I'm fine thank you Jason... are you doing anything nice today...?". He mentioned he was taking Celia out for lunch and also that he was very excited about her moving in next week. She nodded and grinned at him hearing Serena coming down the stairs...

"Hi..." Serena came over and kissed her briefly on the lips as Jason was sitting there. "Hello..." Bernie reached for her hand and squeezed it. Serena reminded Jason where they would be today and said that she wasn't sure what time she would be back but Bernie would be staying tonight. Jason smiled at her and asked if they could watch something together this evening. Bernie nodded and Serena smiled at her... the shy smile she reserved just for Bernie Wolfe.

They were soon on their way in Bernie's car with the radio on and Serena staring out of the window lost in her thoughts. "Are you ok...?" Bernie reached to put her hand gently on Serena's thigh and Serena sighed... "It would have been Elinor's birthday tomorrow so feeling... you know...". Bernie nodded and whispered... "Yes I know... Jason told me... is there anything you particularly would like to do tomorrow or do you just want to..." she didn't finish her sentence as Serena leaned to kiss her cheek lovingly... "Just be with you... just that I may be a bit... upset...". Bernie squeezed her hand and nodded... "Anything you want ok...".

They arrived at Olympia London and queued to get in with their tickets. It was extremely busy and Serena got out her map of where everything was and a timetable of the talks. They went to have a coffee first and look through what was going on... Bernie wanted to make sure Serena had a lovely day so said she could pick what they looked as she was just happy to browse and spend the time together.

They were just finishing their coffee's when Charlotte appeared grinning... "Hi mum... and Serena...". Bernie looked shocked and Serena just smiled at her... "Charlotte... hi... what are you doing here?". Bernie was still bewildered as to why her daughter was here... she lived in a student house! Charlotte sat down at their table and said that she had come with her dad...

Bernie looked around curiously... great... she really didn't want to see Marcus... and why were they here again?. "Dad wants to do up the house and then maybe sell it... he says it has too many memories...". Serena raised her eyebrow at Bernie and she just shrugged looking down at her coffee cup. Soon Marcus appeared looking very smartly dressed... "Bernie... Serena..." he sat down too and Serena felt very uncomfortable. They just gave awkward smiles and said they were going to go now they had finished their coffee's.

"Have a good day..." Bernie wanted to be civil as she left the table and soon she was wandering up and down the aisles of the various stalls and sections with Serena. "Well... that was awkward... and a surprise..." Bernie whispered into her partner's ear as they stopped to look at some vintage home furnishings. "Yes... did they know we were coming today...?" Serena was feeling really uncomfortable and Bernie shrugged... "I think I said something to Cameron about it so he might have told Charlotte... not sure...".

They spent a happy hour wandering around and eventually bought some gorgeous lamps for the bedroom... their bedroom next week. Serena wanted the room to feel as much Bernie's as hers. Bernie had already said that she liked the decor so Serena wasn't planning to change much except maybe pick a few new bits together. She suggested some new bedding and Bernie grinned... "Ok... let me get this though as a contribution... let's look at some together...".

There were quite a few beautiful stands draped with designer and fabulous printed bedding. They looked through various ones together and after quite a while Serena let Bernie pick something classy but plainer than she would have chosen herself... it was still stylish and just as Bernie was paying Marcus appeared and joined her at the till... "What are you buying?" she jumped and turned quickly to see her ex-husband glaring at her as she was buying new beautiful pale green sheets and pillow cases to match. "Umm... that's none of your business..." she finished the transaction with the sales girl and went back to join Serena hoping she hadn't noticed Marcus standing staring at them both.

Bernie grabbed Serena's hand gently and pulled her away from the stand... "Let's get out of here...". Serena looked back over Bernie's shoulder to see Marcus glaring at her. 

They went to one of the talks about updating lounges to make them more modern and contemporary... it was only twenty minutes and Serena had been thinking about making her largest room more suitable to Bernie's taste when she moved in. She noticed Bernie on edge while they sat listening to the speaker and subtly reached for her hand... "Are you ok...?" Bernie just nodded and they sat for a while after people had got up and moved after the talk. "Shall we get some lunch... there are lots of restaurants to take a break and then we can look round the rest?" Serena was trying to get Bernie to relax and Bernie nodded following Serena through the hoards of people taking her hand so they didn't lose each other.

They decided on the oriental restaurant and were seated putting their bags and jackets alongside them as they glanced over the menu's. "Bernie... are you ok...?" Bernie nodded and sighed... "Just you know... Marcus and Charlotte being here... has unsettled me...". Serena nodded and then the waiter appeared to take their orders. They sat drinking wine and trying to relax... looking through the rest of the show information and Serena wanted to visit the gardening section in a while to pick up some ideas for Jason to get involved in... he seemed to enjoy it and it relaxed him... Serena was happy for him to take care of it mainly.

Their food arrived and they both really enjoyed it... everywhere was busy but it wasn't unbearable... Serena was having a nice day she just wished Bernie would relax a little bit more. They were both looking forward to adding the new additions of the bedding and lamps in the bedroom and Serena was checking that Bernie liked the rest of the way the house was. Bernie was letting herself relax now and smiling... "Yes... very much... your home is beautiful... I really can't wait to move in together Serena...".

Just as Serena was settling the bill and Bernie had gone to the toilet... Marcus and Charlotte appeared laden with shopping bags and were queuing to eat at the same restaurant... oh god... Serena didn't want Bernie to see them and had to think on her feet. She grabbed their things and went to meet Bernie outside the toilets and showed her a way out without going past them. Bernie didn't have any idea and they headed straight for the gardening section of the exhibition...

Serena picked up some ideas and tips for Jason and they had a browse round some of the most beautiful conservatories that they had ever seen... "Serena... wow... these are stunning... maybe one day we can get something like this..." Bernie seemed pretty taken with them and Serena managed a grin... "Maybe..." she nodded... just maybe in the future they would buy a place together... she hoped so...

After looking round for another couple of hours and then listening to a cooking demonstration to show off new kitchens they wandered back to the place they had bought coffee's earlier and sat down to have tea and cake. As soon as they had ordered from the waitress Charlotte appeared with Marcus and sat at their table... "You don't mind if we join you do you...?". Serena looked at Bernie and shook her head politely...

Charlotte wanted to see what they had been buying and Bernie was blushing as Charlotte took out the new sheets and raised her eyebrow at her mother. Marcus coughed awkwardly and Charlotte took their purchases out of the many bags to show them what they had been buying... items to make Charlotte's room a bit nicer in her shared student house and Marcus had got some new wallpaper to decorate the house. "Out with the old and all..." he shot a look at Bernie and Bernie went bright red looking down at her Victoria sponge slice and picking at it.

Serena reached for her hand under the table to reassure her and Charlotte felt she had to diffuse the situation.... "So where are you looking next... anything else to buy?" Serena shook her head mentioning they would probably just browse round a bit more then head home. Charlotte nodded asking after Jason. 

When Serena and Charlotte got up to use the toilets Marcus moved into Serena's seat next to Bernie and scowled at her... "So shacking up with her then?". Bernie moved away from him into one of the other seats and didn't answer. "You know Bern... we were married for twenty five years... have you just turned your feelings off that easily... do you love Serena...?". Bernie looked at him... really looked at him... "Marcus... this is getting really uncomfortable... our marriage... wasn't a picnic as you well know... we were happy at first... but you know that it only lasted as long as it did because I was away most of the time. I am sorry that you got hurt... I am... I do love Serena with all my heart and I want you to leave us alone please..." she sighed and picked up their things going to wait outside the toilets for Serena.

They finished looking round and Bernie bought a stunning candle for Serena to light tomorrow to mark Elinor's birthday. Serena was so touched and Bernie shrugged her shoulders... "It reminds me of her actually... she was so vibrant and well... you know...". Serena nodded a tear slowly trickling down her cheek. They held hands as they left the arena and made their way back to Bernie's car to drive home. As they left... Marcus watched them as Charlotte was finishing paying for a cashmere throw she liked... 


	99. Friday

It was Friday morning and they had both been at work for two hours already... AAU had been busy and Fletch had just come into the office to check a scan with Serena. Bernie carried on with the paperwork she was trying to finish before having to be in theatre in fifteen minutes. Her mind really wasn't on it though... her thoughts were only on moving in properly with Serena tomorrow. She felt so happy at the idea of not having to go back to her flat at all after tonight and that every evening would be spent with the love of her life who had finished with Fletch and was looking at her with the loveliest smile... Bernie thought how beautiful she was as always and let out her breath slowly.

Serena left the office with a last smile to Bernie to go down to Pulses for some coffee's. She had been up late most evenings this week sorting out and clearing space for Bernie's things. She had now been through everything that she still had of her mothers and been very selective in what she had decided to keep. She hadn't realised how lovely some of her possessions had been... after her death she couldn't face it and had shut it all away in the large cupboard in the office/study. Then what had happened with Elinor had happened and before that she had been too busy falling in love with a certain beautiful blonde trauma surgeon...

Finally this week it had all been cleared out and valuables she didn't want anymore she thought should be valued and then sold... she liked the idea of putting the money into Jason's savings account she had set up when he had moved in with her. She stood in Pulses and saw Essie picking out a sandwich... "Essie... how are you?" Serena hadn't seen her properly for a while and Essie smiled at her... "Serena... can't stop but we must have a drink soon... text me when you're free?". Serena nodded at her smiling and turned back to pay for the two coffee's. She was thinking about asking Essie if she would like to go to painting classes with her... she knew she liked art and had done some classes a while back but thought she had stopped for some reason. She made a mental note to ask her about it when she sent her a text later...

All went well in theatre for Bernie and she scrubbed out feeling pretty exhausted... her evenings this week had been taken up with clearing out her flat and cleaning... she hadn't realised how she had quickly filled it up with... stuff... she hadn't even lived there that long!! It had made her smile to see a few bits of Serena's that had been left there and she had put them carefully in her bag to give back to her gorgeous partner. She sat down in the office for ten minutes to have a break and write a list of what needed to be done later... including cancelling her current gym membership and registering at the gym closest to Serena's which looked great. Everything else was mostly finished except for a last clean round and one last box to be packed with her everyday items. Charlotte had helped her by taking things to the charity shop in the week and rubbish was all put in the large room in the basement of her apartment block.

Serena had finished her ward round and took five minutes to see Bernie in the office before she herself was due in theatre. "Hi...." she went over to rub Bernie's shoulder lovingly... "How's your day going...?". Bernie smiled up at her and leaned up for a kiss... Serena kissed her briefly as they were at work but her hand stayed on Bernie's shoulder. "Don't feel like cooking tonight... takeaway?" she raised her right eyebrow at Bernie who grinned nodding... "Perfect... I just want to go and register at the gym on the way back from work...". Serena nodded and kissed her cheek... "Must go and get ready for theatre... see you later though... I can't wait for you to move in you know...". Bernie grinned again and nodded... "Me too... see you later...". Serena gazed at her adoringly as she left the office and pulled the door shut behind her.

It was a tough surgery and Serena worked endlessly with Morven to fix a burst appendix which had complications... they both sighed heavily as they scrubbed out and Morven asked Serena how she was. Serena smiled at the young doctor and told her about Bernie moving in over the weekend. Morven nodded and smiled at her... "That's brilliant... it's finally happening then... I really am so happy for you both...". Serena thanked her and touched her arm lightly... "Any nice weekend plans yourself...?". Morven shook her head... "Not much going on at the moment... need to change that..." she smiled and left Serena to finish getting changed in the locker room.

Bernie had left Serena a note by her bag as Serena had been around two hours late past her finishing time and Bernie needed to get things done. Serena saw her note and smiled... 'Hope it all went ok, gone to sort last minute things, going to register at gym and then pick us up dinner on way to yours, will text when leaving the takeaway, love you, B xx'.

Serena wearily picked up her bag from under the desk, threw her rubbish in the bin and got her coat from the rack. Shutting her computer off and shutting the blinds she carefully shut the door behind her saying goodnight to Fletch who was doing overtime tonight and headed for her car...

Bernie had been to her flat to finish the packing and cleaning... nothing really to do in the morning now. She loaded up the car boot with boxes apart from the last to finish in the morning and made the drive to the gym by Serena's... she pulled into the car park and made her way to the entrance door pulling her coat round her as the air had cooled and she was feeling chilly. 

She waited patiently while the girl on reception finished with the woman in front of her looking round and noticing how warm it was inside... nice though and already quite busy with people heading there after work she guessed. When the girl looked up for her to move to the desk she asked about joining... handing over a flyer she had got from the table as she had walked in... no joining fee and if she paid for six months upfront she got one month free. The girl smiled at her and gave her a form to fill in which Bernie went to sit and fill in on one of the seats in the reception area. She was halfway through it when she heard a familiar voice... "Bernie..." she looked up and Marcus was standing by her side sweaty from a workout she guessed and hovering over her.

"Marcus... I didn't realise you came to this gym..." she stopped writing and put the pen down just looking at him. "Yes... I have been coming here for months... it's a good gym..." he stuttered and couldn't look her in the eye. "Well... i'm sure we won't bump into each other very often... different shifts and that..." Bernie picked up her pen and carried on filling out the rest of the form. "Umm Bernie could I talk to you for a minute...?" Marcus sat next to her on one of the seats and stared at her until she had finished what she was writing and nodded at him. She wasn't sure if it was about Cam or Charlotte... they were parents to the same children after all and that would never change...

"Umm... well I just wanted to say how hard I am finding it you being with... Serena... a woman I guess... and you seem so happy... I just wondered..." he stuttered and looked at her. She just looked at him puzzled at what he was trying to get at... "I said I am sorry I hurt you... Marcus... are you dating...?". He shook his head and took her hand... "Thing is Bern... I still love you and I don't know what to do with those feelings... we were married...". She moved her hand away gently not wanting to hurt him but he needed to know that she would never be going back to him...

"Marcus..." she sighed heavily... "You know I love Serena... I am sorry that you still have... feelings... you should really try dating... you deserve a new relationship with someone who can love you back...". He just looked down at the floor and nodded. "Serena... she is very lucky...". Bernie just laughed but not unkindly... "Umm well i'm not sure about that... but what I have with her is... well you know... the real deal and she feels the same about me...". He got up abruptly and just turned round to say..."Well you know where I am if you change your mind..." and with that he was gone.

Serena had just got in through the front door and started taking off her coat when Jason appeared almost throwing himself into her arms... red eyes and crying... "Auntie Serena... I am so glad you are home...". She stared at him very worried... what had happened? She hugged him tightly stroking his back gently... "Now... now... what's happened... are you ok?". He shook his head and pulled her gently into the lounge where they sat down with tears still streaming down his cheeks... "It's Celia... she is moving away..." he started sobbing again and Serena just pulled him into another tight hug... "There... there... Jason..." she just held him until he felt like talking again.

"She is going to Germany with her mum and dad... her dad has to move for work and it means I won't see her again...". Serena just tried to take in this information while trying to comfort him. She didn't know what to say but just held him and stroked his back...

Bernie had forgotten to text Serena... she had been so thrown by Marcus that she had picked up the Chinese without a second thought and was now outside Serena's collecting all the things from the front seat of the car. She locked it and hurried to the front door letting herself in... she heard crying and went straight into the lounge to see Serena comforting Jason... what had happened? She had wanted to tell Serena straight away what had happened with Marcus... she didn't want any secrets... but what was going on here??? 


	100. Sunday

It was a lazy Sunday morning and they both woke at the same time curled up round one another happily and smiling... Serena was so very happy that Bernie lived there now... with her.. and Jason of course but primarily with her. Yesterday had been quite a day... Bernie finishing the cleaning and locking up her flat for good, dropping the keys off at the lettings agent and then coming home... their home now! 

She had then sat Serena down and explained what had happened the previous evening at the gym with the run in with Marcus and what he had said to her which had left Serena fuming... very angry indeed... how dare he make a play to have Bernie back... she was hers and hers only now! She felt she had been quiet for the rest of the evening and Bernie had checked she was ok numerous times... giving kisses and cuddles reassuring Serena that she was the only woman she wanted... and she did only want a woman!!!

Jason had been up late pacing round the house in a state of anxiety... Serena had tried to calm him down but nothing had helped... he didn't want Celia to move away and was so upset. They had all gone to bed very late and seemingly were all sleeping in this morning...

Bernie had mostly finished unpacking last night and there were just the odd bits still in the kitchen to take out of her boxes. She made her and Serena some fresh coffee in the kitchen and took them upstairs and back to bed. Serena smiled at her as she walked back into their bedroom and put the cup down by Serena's side of the bed... "There you go..." Bernie grinned at her and they resumed their earlier position of Serena laying cuddled up to Bernie with her head resting on her chest lightly. "Anything you would like to do today...?" Bernie looked down and kissed Serena's head gently...

"Think I will take Jason to the garden centre this afternoon... it always relaxes him... I want to chat with him properly about this situation with Celia.... are you still planning to see Charlotte...?". Bernie nodded and smiled back down at Serena planting a soft kiss on her cheek... "Yes I want to tell her what has been going on with her dad... needs stopping right now and if anyone can talk to him she can...". Serena nodded and leaned up for another kiss... "I'm so happy you are here Bernie..." they slipped into a light sleep together for a while until they both woke suddenly to the sound of Jason knocking on the bedroom door...

Serena went to answer it, quickly pulling her dressing gown around her thin pale pyjamas... "Are you ok...? I'm coming downstairs now Jason..." she pulled the door shut behind her and followed Jason down to the kitchen where he made some breakfast and Serena could tell he was crying. She went to give him a hug and he clung on to her tears streaming down his flushed cheeks... "I don't know what to do Auntie Serena...". She lovingly stroked his hair and sat with him while he had some cereal explaining that she wanted to take him to the garden centre this afternoon. He nodded glumly and they sat quietly for a while until Bernie joined them showered and dressed...

Bernie and Jason were chatting as Serena replied to a text she had received back from Essie about going to painting classes this week... they were being held nearby on two evenings and they were deciding which would be best for them both to go to. Bernie was trying to listen to Jason and provide support... he was clearly so upset and this wasn't her area of expertise!

She called Charlotte briefly to sort out a time to meet up with her this afternoon and when she got an immediate reply to head out shortly she kissed Serena gently and headed back upstairs to use the bathroom and collect her favourite jumper.

Serena and Jason pottered around the house for the rest of the morning, got ready and headed out together at around 1.30pm. Serena drove them to the nicer garden centre about fifteen minutes away and parked up smiling at Jason as the both got out and headed over to the entrance. Jason loved the garden centre... it was one of his absolute favourite places... he felt comfortable and relaxed here and being with his Auntie always reassured him anyway.

They wandered around the different areas and Serena took him for a drink in the lovely cafe. She listened while he talked about his worries and his anxiety about Celia moving away. Serena took his hand affectionately and asked him if he would like Celia to stay with them for a while when her parents move... he grinned at her and thanked her... "Yes I will ask her thank you so much Auntie Serena" she had mentioned this idea to Bernie very late last night as a suggestion and Bernie had been fine with it... she knew Jason was a priority to her and understood that his happiness was one of the most important things to her... Bernie got it and would support her in whatever she wanted to do...

Bernie met up with Charlotte in a small trendy cafe in town... she thought Charlotte looked really tired and asked her how she was... Charlotte managed a small smile... "I'm ok thanks mum just you know... had a lot of work on and well i'm a bit concerned about dad...". Bernie looked at her and waited patiently for her to continue talking... "He... ummm has got your old wedding pictures out and they are on display in the lounge mum and he talks as if you and he are going to get back together some day..." she tailed off the conversation quietly and Bernie felt her face become hot and flushed... "Ummm I actually wanted to see if you had noticed any different behaviour in your father lately because he has been bothering Serena and I..." Bernie looked at her daughter with concern in her eyes that she hoped Charlotte would pick up on. 

Charlotte reached for her arm and touched it affectionately... "He is ridiculous... he must know that you and Serena are in love and that... well... you know..." she started whispering and Bernie gave her a look to continue... "I mean well... it is unlikely you would be with a man again isn't it...?". Bernie nodded firmly and confirmed that she was a one woman woman and Serena was her love. Charlotte smiled warmly at her... "I will talk to him mum... try and gently get him to see the whole picture...". Bernie leaned in to hug her daughter who was so kind and willing to act on her behalf and stick up for her... she felt a bit better for having talked about it.

Serena and Jason were choosing some new plants in the greenhouse... it was quite stuffy in there and Serena was feeling hot and bothered. She had left Jason looking at some huge great planted pots and went to look at some smaller ones when she saw Marcus heading over to her... she didn't have time to think just stood staring at him...

"Serena...." he greeted her and she just continued to look at him... she was getting sick of this now and really wanted to be left alone. "Marcus... why are you hassling Bernie & I... it really isn't pleasant..." she looked round to see where Jason was, he didn't need to see this. Marcus looked round obviously looking for Bernie. "She's not with me, gone to see Charlotte... what is it you want to say as I am rather busy..." Serena huffed and continued to look at the plants to half show he didn't intimidate her.

"Serena.... I want you to break up with Bernie..." she just looked at him... completely angry... "Marcus that isn't going to happen and you know it, you know I love Bernie and she loves me, we are living together now and are very happy... you need to move on and leave us be... please..." she carried on looking round for Jason who seemed who have temporarily disappeared!

"Serena... I know you aren't a lesbian... I know and believe that Bernie likes women... that isn't a huge shock to me but you... I don't believe you love her as much as I did... still do and I would like to re-kindle my marriage...". Serena felt herself become completely flustered and fuming... "Marcus you don't know me in the slightest... I may not have been a 'lesbian' in my previous relationships but I can assure you I am one now!!! Bernie and I are in love with each other and you really need to deal with it... move on... get counselling... anything... just please leave us alone" and with that she spotted Jason in the distance looking at cookery books and got away from Marcus asking Jason kindly if they could pay for the plants he had picked up at the other end of the store. Jason happily nodded and they walked quickly into the crowd of people who were now milling about in the plants and food sections...

Bernie was home first...  home... her new home... she made a cup of tea and put her feet up in the lounge... Charlotte was going to have a word with Marcus so hopefully that would sort things out. She thought about Jason and how upset he was over Celia... she hoped Serena had put his mind at ease while they were out. She heard the key in the door and sat up waiting for Serena and Jason to appear. She saw plants first and smiled... "They look so lovely..." Jason beamed at her and went to sit by her after putting the plants on the floor in their pots... "What do you think... does it feel like home Bernie?" she slung her arm round his shoulder and laughed... "Yes Jason thank you so much for allowing me to live with you and Serena..." he smiled at her... "You are very welcome... I am going to ask Celia if she would like to live here too... Auntie Serena said I could ask her...". Bernie nodded... "Well you will have to see what she says...".

Serena came into the hall and asked Jason kindly to make them some drinks which he leapt straight up to do... Bernie pulled Serena down onto the sofa and into a cuddle... "I saw Charlotte and she is going to talk to Marcus...". Serena sank into Bernie's loving arms and inhaled her perfume... she found it comforting... "I saw Marcus at the garden centre..." she whispered and Bernie bolted upright... "What????!!! what happened???". Serena told Bernie exactly what Marcus had said and Bernie snatched her phone from the coffee table and began to press at numbers furiously. "What are you doing...?" Serena grabbed her wrist and looked deeply into her eyes...

"I'm calling the police... Serena this is harassment and i'm not having it anymore...". Serena made her put her mobile down and they sank back against each other... "Bernie... you can't call the police... really... maybe Charlotte talking to him will make it stop...". Bernie looked as though she was thinking about it for a minute but then shook her head firmly.... kissed Serena and picked up her mobile....


	101. Monday

Bernie was aware of Serena getting ready for work in the bedroom as she dozed. They had hardly slept as Serena couldn't settle after Bernie had called the police yesterday to report the harassment by Marcus. She had been told that someone would visit the house this morning to take a proper statement from her so she wasn't heading into work until later whereas Serena needed to be there for 9am as theatre slots had been booked and she was needed.

Serena had just finished putting her makeup and perfume on when she came over to the bed to give Bernie a kiss before leaving... she would get some breakfast from Pulses... "I'm off now... hope it goes ok with the police... will you text me and let me know how it goes and when you are likely to be in later... no rush though I can make sure everything is running ok..." she leaned forward over Bernie to kiss her and Bernie pulled her down on top of her which made Serena squeal with laughter... "Bernie... I am going to be late...." she did gently swipe Bernie's fringe out of her eyes and leant to kiss her neck which made Bernie groan... "Ok ok... yes I will text you when the police have left... try not to worry ok... I will sort this Serena...". Serena nodded and smiled at her heading out of the bedroom door.

Bernie got up as soon as Serena had left and had a long, hot shower... she wasn't looking forward to talking to the police but she knew it needed to be done. She checked the time as soon as she was dressed and knew they would be here shortly. Jason was starting work slightly later today and was in the kitchen having his breakfast when Bernie appeared to make some coffee and toast. "Hello Bernie..." he smiled at her and she asked how he was. He seemed brighter as he was going to ask Celia if she wanted to stay with them while her parents went away... it turned out her dad's work was only for six months so he definitely planned to make her know that he loved her and wanted her to stay...

Serena had collected a large double shot latte and a pastry from Pulses and was now sitting in the office ready to go and scrub in for theatre. Fletch appeared with the notes and they chatted briefly before she had to go and get ready. The operation was a vascular one and Serena completed it easily enough with Morven's assistance. Her mind flitted to Bernie and hoped she was getting on ok with the police... the whole business had shaken her and Bernie had been so wonderful last night... rubbing her back as they cuddled in bed and then when she couldn't sleep Bernie had got up to make her a cocoa before stroking her hair to make her drift off again until the alarm had gone off this morning.

The police had arrived at Serena's and Bernie had let them in and through to the lounge offering them a drink which they both refused kindly... one of the officers... PC Medcalf seemed on edge and as he sat down he asked about Serena. Bernie looked at him suspiciously before he explained that he knew Serena and wondered what was going on... Bernie suddenly realised who he was when he shook her hand firmly introducing himself as Robbie Metcalf... so this was Robbie... Bernie tried not to feel shaken by this revelation and concentrated on why the police were there... Robbie and the other police officer PC Holden.

She explained fully about Marcus' behaviour lately blushing slightly as it was awkward with Serena's ex there listening and taking notes. She didn't think he knew that Serena was now in a relationship with her... a woman... so had to tread carefully but they needed to know the facts obviously!

"So Ms Wolfe... your ex husband is stalking you... you say and turning up in places where you are hassling you about getting back together?" Bernie nodded and also explained that he had been hassling Serena as well and making them both feel uncomfortable. Robbie looked confused... "Why would your ex husband be hassling Serena... you are friends?" he looked down at his notepad ready to write down what Bernie was going to say but looked up when Bernie didn't answer...

Serena looked at her mobile after she had left theatre quite a while later and there was a text from Bernie... 'Sorry... I hope AAU is ok... things got really awkward with the police... your ex showed up... Robbie with another officer and I had to tell them everything... he is stunned that we are in a relationship and left abruptly... I hope they got the notes down about Marcus but not totally sure... all a bit weird... can you cope without me for the rest of the day, I need to check this has been made an official harassment statement... I love you Serena, B xx'.

Serena stared at her phone... Robbie knew she was with Bernie now then... well... tough... but then she remembered when he had tried to win her back while Bernie was in the Ukraine and she had said there was someone else. It had been Bernie all along but she hadn't said it was a woman she was mad about so he must be fairly surprised by this new information... she should text him.... she picked up her mobile and after three draft attempts sent a text... 'Robbie, hope you are well, I understand you saw my partner today... Bernie... she was logging an harassment case and has since told me that you were a little upset after finding out about our relationship. I am sorry you found out like that and I hope you are ok and everything is going well with you, Serena x'.

She put her mobile down on the desk and sighed... oh Jesus... what a mess... the whole thing...

Bernie had just got back from the police station and had been reassured by a pretty brunette police officer that her statement had been logged and she herself along with PC Holden would be going to visit Mr Marcus Dunn later today. She poured herself a whiskey and sat in the lounge sending Serena another text... 'Just got back from the police station... all sorted hopefully, sorry Robbie found out like he did earlier... can't wait to see you, need a special Serena hug xx'.

Serena was just leaving work when she received Bernie's text and smiled... she knew Bernie loved her hugs and cuddles. Just as she got into her car in the car park her phone bleeped again and a text reply from Robbie had come through... ' Don't know what to say Serena, yes I am shocked... we were going to move in together at one point and I had no idea you liked women... I thought... well that you were straight! Bernie seems nice and all but I think that she may have seduced you and well... this isn't you Serena... I don't understand... have filed the harassment complaint at the station so someone should be going to speak to Mr Dunn later, Robbie'.

Serena sighed at the text and shook her head... she needed a drink and she also knew when she got home Jason would be begging her to ring Celia's mother to discuss her staying with them. He had sent her several texts today saying that Celia would really like to stay with them (after he had asked her when they had met up for lunch) and that she would like Serena to call her mother tonight.

When she got home she found Bernie fast asleep on the bed upstairs so she kissed her forehead gently and went back down to see Jason.... she would text Robbie back later.

Jason was so excited that Celia was going to be staying with them and not moving away... he kept thanking Serena and offering to do all the jobs round the house for her as his way of showing his gratitude.

Bernie stirred under the sheets and realised it was quite dark outside, she checked the time and seeing it was after 6.30pm headed downstairs to see if Serena was back. She found her laying on the sofa just resting while Jason seemed to be pottering in the kitchen making dinner. "Hello you..." Bernie sat beside her gorgeous partner and reached for her hand... Serena pulled her into a cuddle and they lay pressed against each other snuggled up just listening to each others heart beats and finding comfort after the day they had both had.

Bernie asked how Serena was and she sighed... "Got a text back from Robbie and just thinking how to reply..." she showed Bernie the message and Bernie looked crestfallen at the suggestion that he thought Serena would be seduced by her and not really love her. Serena put her mind at rest and together they worded an appropriate response... 'Robbie, I am sorry you found out like you did today but we have not been together for a while now and who I have a relationship with is none of your business. I fell in love with Bernie... it was and is mutual... yes I may have thought I was 'straight' in the past and I was happy with you when we were together but.... things change, people change and I found myself in love with my best friend who loves me too. I wish you the best for the future, Serena x'.

They lay back down holding each other and waiting for dinner... Serena taking a sip of wine and then nuzzling into Bernie's chest... "Do you think the police have been round to see Marcus yet?" Serena was looking at Bernie now and Bernie shrugged pulling her into a deep kiss... "Who knows but he will know I mean business when he receives a police visit so hopefully he will stop pestering us...". Serena smiled against Bernie's soft lips and pulled her even closer... "Let's hope so....". Just as they resumed kissing each other lazily, Bernie's phone beeped on the coffee table....


	102. Tuesday

Bernie was on AAU the next day thinking about Marcus' text yesterday... 'Thanks for sending the cops round!! Didn't think it was a crime to love someone but I get the message now, you won't be hearing from me again unless it's to do with the kids, have a nice life Bernie, Marcus'.

She very much hoped this was the end of things regarding the harassment she had felt she had been having lately. Fletch came to ask to ask her sign some papers and she looked round the busy ward... things were going to be non stop today... Serena was off as well so Bernie took a quick sip of coffee and got right on the case of chasing some patient notes...

Serena was at home busy finishing clearing Elinor's old room out with Jason ready for Celia to move in tonight. Jason was humming some sort of pop song Serena thought and he looked so happy. She had removed most of Elinor's things a while back but was making sure it had everything in it she thought Celia might need. She was looking forward to having her to stay and really rather glad that Jason and Celia themselves had decided that they would not sleep in the same room all the time and that they each had their own space.

Serena put fresh bedding on the double bed in there and sighed remembering Elinor badgering her to have a double bed when she was only thirteen. Serena had relented in the end as she always seemed to do with Elinor when she had kept on and on and caught Serena in a weak moment after a very long traumatic shift. Jason thought the bedding was nice and he went to fetch a spare lamp to go beside the bed... "It looks lovely Auntie Serena... thank you very much for letting Celia stay here". Serena smiled at him and touched his arm... "No problem... least I can do the way you have welcomed Bernie for me...". He nodded and smiled back going downstairs to make some drinks for them both while they finished everything off.

After a quick bite to eat with Dom in Pulses at lunchtime... Bernie headed back to AAU for an afternoon in theatre. She walked to the locker room and changed ready to start. Morven joined her and they chatted while preparing to work together in theatre. It was going to be a long operation and both went through into the theatre ready to receive the patient they would be working on...

Serena was sitting in the counselling building reception area ready for her counselling session with Matthew. She hadn't been for a while but was keen for them not to drop entirely and with everything that had gone on with Marcus and then Robbie she felt she could do with a session which Matthew had fitted her in with at 2.30pm today. She flicked through a magazine and looked at the woman sitting opposite who looked terrified waiting to go into her own counselling session. Serena smiled at her and the woman started to smile back but immediately got up and headed for the toilets... Serena hoped she was ok!

Matthew called her in to his room and Serena grinned at him... "Hi... Matthew..." he smiled back at her and gestured to the empty seat opposite his desk where she usually sat. "Serena... lovely to see you... how are things going?". She sat down and started to explain how things were generally improving for her... grief wise and although there were days where she felt low and it all came back to her she felt she was getting much stronger and life was getting back to some sort of normality... as far as it could anyway...

He smiled at her while writing some notes down... "I am so glad to hear that... it will still take time... it's still early days but sounds like you are doing so well". "I feel I am... thank you..." Serena sighed and then went on to talk about what had happened with Marcus and then with Robbie. Matthew looked concerned and stopped writing... "That must have been stressful for you...". She nodded and said she would really like to put it all behind them and move on... just the two of them. "It is quite painful for me to hear that Marcus still loves Bernie... I hope it will stop now... he said it will so fingers crossed". Matthew smiled kindly at her and asked her what her plans are now...

"Well Jason's girlfriend is going to be staying with us from tonight for around six months I think while her family are abroad... and work is getting back to some sort of normality for me... going to increase my hours next week... will keep up with the painting and maybe plan another holiday or trip with Bernie... that would be nice...". He grinned at her... "Sounds like you are looking forwards Serena... very pleased to hear it... you will never forget Elinor... but she would want you to live your life wouldn't she...". Serena nodded and they spoke a bit more about the painting classes she was going to go to with Essie.

At 6.30pm Bernie started to head home... finally... she felt exhausted and remembered that Celia was moving in with them tonight. She pulled into the drive and noticed Celia's mum's car there... she locked up her own car and headed inside quietly. "Bernie..." Jason came into the hall to see her and ask how her day had been which Bernie thought was incredibly sweet of him. She went through into the lounge after hanging her jacket up and taking her shoes off... Serena was sitting with Celia's mother and beamed when she saw Bernie... "Excuse me..." she left Celia and her mum to chat while she took Bernie's hand and lead her into the kitchen... "How was your day...?" she leaned in to kiss Bernie and Bernie kissed her back gently aware there were people in the room next door but Serena pushed her back against the kitchen door and kissed deeper... "Missed you so much...". Bernie grinned at her and asked how her counselling session had gone while still kissing Serena moving down to the right hand side of her neck gradually and then back up to her soft lips...

"Yes counselling was fine... we better you know... go back into the lounge..." Serena giggled quietly and Bernie nodded. "Want you to myself later though..." she winked at Serena and Serena grinned back at her both of them heading back into the lounge where Jason, Celia and her mother were still there chatting. Celia was saying an emotional goodbye to her mum while Jason took her things up to her bedroom. Celia's mother thanked both Serena and Bernie for letting Celia stay with them and they exchanged phone numbers in case of emergency. 

Once Celia had stopped crying and her mother had gone Serena set to work on dinner... one of Celia's favourites... baked Salmon. She had marinaded it this morning so it just had to be popped into the oven and the potatoes and vegetables put on the stove. Bernie poured them some wine and got some drinks for Jason and Celia while they sat together on the sofa in the lounge... Jason trying to comfort Celia which Serena thought was very sweet of him.

When they had eaten... Celia went to sort her things out in her bedroom while Jason took a bath in the main bathroom to give her some space. Serena and Bernie were listening to the radio and finishing clearing away the dinner things... both were tired but happy to catch up on each others days properly now they were alone and soon headed upstairs with fresh glasses of wine. Celia came out of her room and thanked them again for letting her stay and for making her new bedroom so lovely. They both nodded smiling at her and said to ask if there was anything she needed... she was to make herself at home!

Serena was laying on top of the bed with her eyes shut dozing when Bernie came out of the en suite after a quick shower... after an afternoon in surgery she wanted to freshen up and Serena opened her eyes to see Bernie in just a dusky pink towel with water droplets on her arms and legs. She raised her eyebrow in a playful way and Bernie laughed... "Didn't seem much point putting pyjamas on...". She sat down on her own side of the bed and Serena immediately pulled her down and started kissing her passionately, stroking her cheek as she kissed her mouth hungrily and Bernie was getting carried away too... her towel slipped open and Serena pulled it away ravishing Bernie's chest and stroking down her legs at the same time... "Serena... " Bernie gasped... "We have to be quiet!!!". Serena shrugged and carried on with what she had been doing... Bernie undressing her at the same time when she could get access!

Serena was kissing Bernie's stomach and stroking up and down her bare legs when Bernie... who had her left hand just inside Serena's pants... pulled away and looked at Serena deeply in the eyes... "What's that lump...?". Serena stopped kissing her and looked down where Bernie's hand was... on her groin area... "Umm not sure...". Bernie pulled the top of Serena's pants down a bit further and took a look... "That wasn't there last week... does it hurt...? Is it painful...?". Serena pressed it herself and said that it didn't feel painful but she didn't know what it was...

"You need to get that looked at Serena..." Bernie pulled her towel back around herself and they lay there together... all the passion on hold for a minute. "Yes... ok... just a bit shocked that there is a lump there... I hadn't noticed...". Serena lay down next to Bernie in her underwear and cuddled up to her pulling the sheets up around herself... "I will get an appointment... ok... try not to worry...". Bernie stroked her face lovingly... "I love you Serena...". Serena smiled back nodding... "And I love you..." she lay with her head on Bernie's chest... her cheek against the soft towel and wondered what she was going to have to face now...


	103. Thursday

Bernie woke very gradually and realised she could hear some sort of noise that wasn't pleasant... she wasn't sure exactly what it was but snuggled up closer to Serena who was waking at the same time. They wrapped their arms round each other lovingly... "What's that sound?" Bernie nuzzled into Serena's neck and Serena gently lay back onto her pillow chuckling... "You know what... I think it is Celia singing in the shower.... main bathroom...".

Bernie pressed her left ear softly against Serena's chest to hear the comforting sound of her heartbeat and also listened out with her other ear to see if what Serena was saying was right... "Jesus... why have we never heard this before... she has stayed over plenty of times...". Serena laughed playing with Bernie's fringe with her fingers... "Perhaps she feels more comfortable now she is staying...". They lay together wrapped in the sheets lazily listening and trying not to laugh... "What song is that anyway...?" Bernie leaned up onto her elbow and looked into Serena's dark eyes. "Ummm not totally sure... think i've heard it on the radio but it is very off key..." Serena playfully tickled Bernie's side and they collapsed into giggles and then ended up kissing... both not exactly in a hurry to get up...

Bernie moved the sheet away casually and stroked Serena's cheek with her hand... "Can I take another look?". Serena nodded and Bernie inspected the lump that Serena was going to get checked at the doctors this morning. She had tried to get an appointment yesterday but it was fully booked so she needed to get up soon if she was going to make it in plenty of time. Bernie leaned down to kiss the lump and Serena laughed... "What's that for...?" Bernie looked up at her from under her messy fringe... "Just want it to feel ok... i'm sorry I can't come with you as you don't want to say anything at work... you will ring me won't you though... when you come out of the doctors...". Serena nodded stroking Bernie's back and watching her get up off the bed and head downstairs to make them some fresh coffee.

When Bernie got to the hospital she saw Essie in Pulses grabbing a pastry like she was doing herself on the way up to their own wards. They chatted briefly and Bernie mentioned that Serena was very keen on going to the art classes with her and was planning to text her... she thought. Essie smiled and asked if Serena was in work today... Bernie nodded but said it would be later as she had a counselling session. Essie said they should all go for a drink soon with Dom and Bernie nodded... she knew Serena was close to Essie and she liked her as well. Essie was asking about Serena's counselling sessions hoping they were helping her and Bernie nodded... "She is getting there... thank you for asking...".

Serena had left the house while Jason was still in bed on a day off and Celia had just left for work. Serena had tried very hard not to chuckle earlier as she had been making breakfast in the kitchen when Celia came in to grab her work bag. They had just said good morning to each other and then Celia had been off... running late she had said.

She was now sitting in the doctors waiting room flicking through an old magazine and trying not to stare at the clock on the wall as each second ticked past... she was nervous and despite being in the medical profession... did not feel at ease visiting the doctors herself.

She watched a young mother next to her try to calm down her little boy who was obviously feeling unwell and smiled at her. She passed her a picture book and the young woman took it from her gratefully and began to read him a story which seemed to help a little. Serena's name flashed up on the screen and she made her way to Consulting room 2 knocking hard on the door before entering and smiling at the locum doctor who was sat in an uncomfortable looking chair at the desk.

"How can I help you today?" the doctor looked at her kindly and Serena took a deep breath... "Well... I have a lump... that is new and I wanted to have it checked... that it is nothing serious...". She went on to explain where the lump was and that it wasn't painful or sore but was quite hard...

The doctor asked to examine her which she agreed to and undressed behind the curtain laying on the clinical bed with the paper sheet covering her legs. The doctor came round the curtain and took a look... pressing the lump and feeling it before asking Serena some more questions. Serena finished dressing herself and came back round to sit and talk to the doctor. 

"I'm not sure what the lump is... Ms Campbell... could be a hernia... a cyst but I want to refer you to get it seen to and some tests done... are you happy with that?". Serena nodded and took a blood test form from the doctor explaining that she worked at Holby City hospital so could the tests be done at St. James' instead. The doctor nodded and said she would request a referral.... she said Serena should hear within two weeks and Serena left the room to call Bernie.

"Serena...." Bernie answered her mobile after one ring as she had been waiting for her call trying to catch up on various admin tasks in the office.

"Bernie...." Serena explained to her partner what the doctor had said and that she had been examined. Bernie tried to reassure her that there was no rush to head to work and that maybe she should go and get her blood tests done now and have a coffee before coming into work at lunchtime. Serena agreed and asked how things were going on AAU. Bernie made sure Serena knew she had everything under control and could take her time. She was going to be in theatre this afternoon so Serena would just need to keep an eye on the ward. They exchanged 'I love you's' and hung up... both had things they needed to do but so very glad they had each other.

Bernie's theatre slot went as planned and she collapsed back in the office late afternoon ready for a quick sit down and something to eat. Serena was sitting at her own desk answering some emails and smiled at her when she entered the office. Bernie shut the door behind her quietly and went to stand behind Serena placing her hands lovingly on her shoulders and massaging them, planting kisses to her left shoulder at the same time... "How were the blood tests...?". Serena showed Bernie the bruise on her inner arm and Bernie picked it up gently and kissed it better.

Serena smiled at her and leaned in for a soft kiss to Bernie's lips. "How was theatre...?" she whispered into Bernie's hair as they pulled apart. "Yes... all fine thank you... do you fancy going for something to eat straight after work... I already said to Jason and Celia that we might...". Serena beamed and pulled Bernie closer by the waistband of her scrubs... "You are too wonderful... yes I would really like that after today...".

They worked quietly for the remainder of their shifts in the office completing all of the necessary paperwork while Morven looked in a couple of times to check a few things but relishing the chance to be in charge of the ward and growing in confidence when given the opportunity.

At 7pm, Serena sent a text to Jason to make sure he knew they were going to go out to eat and Bernie packed her bag and grabbed her coat from the stand. They agreed where to meet and then left in their own cars to drive to the shopping park nearby as both didn't fancy having to park in town and then walk to a restaurant... this was after all a casual bite to eat after a stressful day.

Bernie took Serena's coat when they were shown a table and hung it up on the stand next to her and they settled into a cosy booth looking at the wine list and chatting about the day. "Did you say anything to Celia this morning...?" Bernie was chuckling again and Serena shook her head smiling... "No... just good morning and then she was out of the door like a shot... said something about running late...". Bernie leaned back in her chair laughing... "Very funny.... do you think she will do that every morning...". Serena raised her eyebrow and smirked... "Let's hope not!!".

They decided on what to eat and the waitress came to take their orders....both were starving and felt like they wanted a treat... sharing a starter and ordering their own main courses. Serena definitely wanted a dessert too!

Bernie said that she had seen Essie this morning and Serena nodded remembering that she had meant to send her a text about the art classes. She would do that when they got home... She brought up the subject of Bernie's birthday looming in three weeks time and Bernie blushed... "Ummm... we don't have to do anything Serena...". Serena smiled at her... always the low key... no fuss Bernie she loved...

"Well... I was actually thinking of taking you away on holiday... what do you think?". Bernie looked at her and grinned... "Do you think we could get the time off...?". Serena nodded... "I checked with Henrik earlier and he wants annual leave in six weeks time and I have said I will hold the fort with Ric while he is away so he is more than happy to come and work down on AAU for a week". Bernie couldn't stop grinning... Serena had already been planning this...

"Where would you like to go...?" Serena felt for Bernie's knee under the table and gently placed her hand on it. Bernie looked down and grinned some more... "Ummm not too sure... can I think?". Serena smiled and looked down at the starter that had appeared between them with two plates to share. "Of course you can... see it like your birthday present... your choice... anywhere you like for a week... we can't take longer than that off at the moment...".

Bernie nodded and let her mind wander while discreetly feeding Serena parcels of fresh crab and salmon sushi which Serena was adoring. Maybe a break away was just what they needed... her birthday was in three weeks so they would have to get organised quickly but nothing could be more exciting for Bernie at this moment in time than the idea of getting away again with Serena just the two of them... especially as they didn't know what they would be facing with this lump of Serena's... hopefully she would have had the referral and scan done before they jetted off somewhere... she took a bite of delicious sushi herself and smiled back at the love of her life who she would support and be there for no matter what they faced together...


	104. Friday (2 weeks later)

It was 11.30am and Bernie was sat with Serena in the hospital waiting area at St. James' ready for Serena to have a scan and perhaps a biopsy depending on how the scan looked. Bernie discreetly squeezed her hand as she passed her a magazine to flick through to pass the time. "Will you come in with me... Bernie?" Serena whispered and Bernie nodded smiling at her... "Course I will... whatever you want ok..." she kissed her cheek lovingly as the waiting area was empty apart from the two of them sat fidgeting nervously about what was about to happen.

Another five minutes passed and Bernie let out a deep breath... Serena squeezed her hand... "Are you ok...?". Bernie nodded not wanting to look at Serena as she was terrified herself of what... if anything would be found... today. "Yes... just you know... I love you so very much...". Serena turned Bernie's face towards her own and leaned in to kiss her briefly... "I love you too... just focus on tomorrow... can't wait!!". Bernie grinned at her shyly... "I know... ten whole days on holiday with you... Hanssen is really very kind isn't he...". Serena nodded thinking of when she had apprehensively asked Henrik if they could have ten days off together as Bernie really wanted to go to Boston and see Harvard where she had spent time studying in the past.

Henrik had looked carefully at the rota's and shifted some things around so they could go which Serena felt extremely grateful for... she knew it wasn't ideal that they worked in the same department so needed the time off together for holiday's.... it did help though that Henrik wanted a month off very shortly where Serena had quickly insisted she step up and look after things with Ric's help.

Serena was then called through to have her scan done and Bernie followed her squeezing her hand... she went to drop it but Serena laced their fingers together tightly and held on as they went through the door... thirty minutes later they were back in the waiting area reading magazines and drinking lukewarm coffee out of small cardboard cups that Bernie had managed to find nearby as Serena hadn't wanted her to venture far. They sat quietly among the other people now who had since arrived in the small area and looked as nervous as they did...

Another thirty five minutes later a nurse came to fetch them to go through to see the consultant who advised Serena to have a biopsy as thought... one had provisionally been booked in case it was needed and Serena nodded looking scared as Bernie held her hand and stroked along her wrist calmly to provide comfort.

Serena went to change behind the screen and the consultant looked at Bernie with a smile... "I'm sure it will be ok... just being on the safe side...". Bernie nodded and waited as Serena appeared in a hospital gown ready for the procedure to be done. Bernie had to wait in the room next door but the consultant kindly gave them a moment... "I love you..." Bernie whispered into Serena's ear as she held her close and Serena pulled her tightly to her... "I love you too... please don't worry...".

"I'm just in here... think of going away tomorrow and how wonderful it will be..." Bernie kissed her lips gently and reluctantly let go of her hand.

Serena knocked lightly on the door she was asked to go through when she was ready and smiled at Bernie as she shut the door quietly behind her. Bernie sat back in the chair and sighed... this was awful... she really wished so hard it was her having this done instead. She tried to mentally think of something else... anything else to distract herself... what she still needed to do for the trip tomorrow... not much... they had got ready and prepared rather quickly once it was decided where they were going and Serena had booked it all online.

She watched the clock in the room... bad idea but she couldn't not... ten minutes passed... fifteen... twenty... Bernie felt herself panicking and went to the toilet just outside in the corridor. She splashed her face with cold water and looked in the small mirror. She knew she cared and loved Serena more than she had ever cared and loved anyone... she felt so scared and insecure in this moment... 

When she returned to the room, Serena was sat on the clinical bed still in the hospital gown waiting for her... "It was fine..." she smiled at Bernie and Bernie rushed to her and held her tightly stroking her back and hair pulling her close against her chest. "I was so worried... Serena... did it hurt?". Serena shrugged... "A little but i'm really ok... will get the results when we get back... have explained we are going away...". Bernie nodded and waited while Serena changed back into her clothes behind the screen as the consultant was coming back in to talk to them both.

They sat holding hands on the chairs by the large desk waiting for the consultant before they would get something to eat for lunch. He came through the door and explained to them that the scan hadn't been one hundred percent clear so that's why they had done a biopsy to make sure the lump wasn't anything serious... he didn't think so but didn't want to say for certain. Serena nodded and shook his hand standing up... "Thank you... I will come back when we get back from holiday... I will get a letter no doubt with an appointment on...?". He nodded kindly and shook both of their hands as they were leaving the room wishing them a nice break.

They both sighed deeply and walked slowly to Bernie's car... they actually just wanted to go home. There was packing to finish and Bernie was happy to make them some lunch while Serena rested... they were after all going on a long flight tomorrow afternoon. She couldn't wait... Serena had beamed at her when she decided where she wanted to go... Boston... including a chance to see Harvard where Serena had studied... Bernie had never been and she thought it may be good for Serena to re-visit somewhere from her past while she was still working through her grief... somewhere familiar and comforting but where she could show Bernie her old haunts...

When they got in... Bernie settled Serena on the sofa with a comfy pillow and soft blanket... kissing her gently and gazing into her eyes... "Some soup...?". Serena nodded smiling and settled further down on the sofa reaching for Bernie's hand... "I will be fine... Bernie... just need to take it easy this afternoon... good job all organised for tomorrow...". Bernie squeezed her hand back and kissed her cheek... "Be back in a minute... chicken or mushroom soup?". Serena closed her eyes and requested what she would like to be bought to her on a tray which Bernie happily obliged doing for her.

When she came back into the lounge, Serena sat up a little to have the tray perched on her lap while Bernie sat on the floor next to her and stroked her legs lovingly. "Bernie... aren't you going to eat anything...?". Bernie just smiled at her... "Later when you are having a sleep...". Serena gazed back at the love of her life and smiled back... "You are wonderful... thank you... for everything...". Bernie just stroked along her arm and up to her cheek kissing her on the nose and then her lips briefly while still allowing Serena to eat her lunch.

They cuddled up on the sofa afterwards for a while under the blanket talking about Boston and all the things Serena wanted to show Bernie when they got there... Serena laying with her head on Bernie's chest while Bernie stroked up and down her bare arms giving her goosebumps.

"Right... must finish my packing and you... beautiful... should have a sleep..." Bernie kissed her while Serena blushed at being called 'beautiful' and reluctantly let Bernie's hand go laying her head instead on the pillow Bernie had put behind her and fluttering her eyes shut... tomorrow would be wonderful... she couldn't wait to go away and back to a place she had been happy in the States... she would show Bernie round everywhere she used to love and just enjoy spending the time together.

She had wanted to treat Bernie for her birthday and was so touched that Bernie had been so thoughtful in where she had picked... Elinor was still never far from her thoughts and even though she was getting there with her grief... to go back to somewhere familiar and beautiful was going to be so wonderful... with Bernie... she couldn't wait...


	105. Saturday

It was just after 2pm and Bernie and Serena were wandering around Heathrow airport duty free and feeling content and relaxed. Their luggage had all been checked and dropped off on the conveyer belt so they just had their hand luggage to carry... Bernie with a dark red rucksack and Serena with her large turquoise tote bag. Bernie reached for Serena's hand as they browsed round the luxury toiletries and perfume, wine and chocolates. Neither bought anything heading then to Pret A Manger to pick up a lunch meal deal to take on board for later.

Bernie went to sit down with their bags on some side chairs while Serena used the toilets. She checked her mobile and saw several texts from Cam, Charlotte and Jason wishing them both a safe flight and to let them know when they landed. Bernie smiled to herself and put her mobile back in her bag. She looked around the busy, bright terminal and tried to relax putting her legs up on the seats opposite and leaning back waiting for Serena. 

Serena had a slight wobble in toilets and felt her eyes brimming with tears... thinking of Elinor. She shook her head to herself and smoothed down her top... pulling her soft cardigan round her for comfort and washing her hands. She made sure she had her boarding pass and passport heading back to the seating area to sit with Bernie. She found her eating a decadent chocolate brownie from her lunch pack for the plane and Bernie grinned at her... "I was hungry... are you ok...?" she had noticed Serena's eyes were slightly red and puffy. "Yes... just you know... feeling a bit....". Bernie pulled her into a cuddle and fed her some of her brownie which made Serena grin. "Better...?" Bernie stroked her hair lovingly. "Much... thank you..." Serena sat up and took one of the new magazine's she had bought out of her bag and started to read the first few pages, keeping a check on the electronic board for the gate number information they needed when it flashed up.

Bernie got out her Boston guide book and Serena chuckled... "Too cute...". Bernie smiled shyly at her from under her blonde messy fringe and carried on reading about where they would be visiting... she hadn't been before although it was definitely somewhere she wanted to go to. She read all about the main attractions and got out the paperwork Serena had printed about the hotel they were going to be staying in... it looked really lovely... small... intimate... classy. Serena took a sip of water and noticed that the gate number had now appeared. They picked up their bags and made their way together to gate four to join the queue of people who had spotted it before themselves and got there quickly. A small child came up to Serena and smiled up at her... Serena said she liked his rucksack which he grinned at and then smiled at Bernie who started chatting to him while they waited in line.

When they eventually got onto the plane they quickly found their seats near the back and settled with their bags for the long haul. Bernie by the window so she could see out and Serena next to her in the middle seat. They were lucky that no one had come along and sat on their row yet and they hoped they would have some privacy for the long flight. The flight crew showed them the emergency procedures and Bernie pulled her ipod out of her bag ready to listen to some music when they took off. Serena was looking at the alcohol section on the drinks menu and Bernie raised her eyebrow at her laughing.

"We are officially on holiday now Bernie...." Serena whispered into her hair and Bernie reached for her hand and squeezed it... "I know... you can have anything you want...". Serena kissed her cheek and settled back to read the rest of the menu deciding on what she would order later.

The plane was filling up fast and people were hurriedly placing their bags in the overhead lockers and settling children down with tablets and headphones. Serena looked round to see if anyone was heading towards the seat next to her and still they were in luck as the plane doors were now being closed and people had already taken their seats. They grinned at each other and spread out a bit more... Serena resting her head on Bernie's shoulder with Bernie's arm draped round her shoulder pulling her close.

Bernie got out a cashmere pale blue blanket from her bag and draped it over their laps so they could relax and cuddle without feeling too self conscious. Serena hummed contentedly... "This is nice...." Bernie smiled back at her... "Are you wanting to read or....". Serena nodded... she loved reading on planes with a large alcoholic drink and letting the world literally go by while up in the air whereas Bernie liked to listen to music or sleep...

The first few hours went by quickly... Bernie had fallen asleep on Serena's shoulder which she thought was just too adorable and she had been reading... occasionally looking down at Bernie's beautiful cheekbones resting on her and feeling herself swept away by her beauty. She had placed gentle kisses to her cheek which had made Bernie murmur but she hadn't woken until Serena had gently shaken her to eat the meal that had just been served. They ate their hot chicken dishes happily and were going to save their sandwiches and salads until later.

Bernie swapped seats with Serena for a bit and settled to listen to her music while Serena sat doing a crossword on the newspaper that she had bought before getting on the plane. They sat content in silence for a while until Bernie reached for Serena's hand and started stroking her wrist slowly and gently... "Your skin is so precious..." she whispered. Serena blushed... "Thank you... not as beautiful as yours...". Bernie smiled at her... her shy adorable smile... "I really want to kiss you Serena...". Serena hummed happily... "Kiss me then... most people are asleep....". Bernie blushed and cleared her throat placing a barely there kiss on Serena's cheek. Serena looked at her and raised her right eyebrow... "Not going in for a snog then...?". Bernie looked embarrassed and shook her head... "There are children about....". Serena shrugged her shoulders and grinned at her... "Shame....".

They kept themselves occupied for a bit and then Serena fell asleep softly snoring and Bernie thought she hadn't ever looked more beautiful. Her heart swelled and she just sat there watching Serena breathe in and out thinking she wanted to be with this woman for the rest of her life. She pulled her gently towards herself so Serena's head was resting on her shoulder and stroked her hair very slowly. Serena sighed contentedly and Bernie then kissed her hair and closed her eyes herself.

When they landed they both felt utterly exhausted. They made their way through the airport to their pre-booked taxi... Serena had been very organised online and sorted out most things to make it easier for them once they got there... heading straight for the hotel to sleep. It looked really lovely when they pulled up and the driver helped them with their cases and bags to the reception desk to check in.

Once everything had been sorted and key cards had been given to them... they took the lift to their room on the top floor and stumbled into it with their things both exhausted and in need of a shower. It was a large modern looking room with everything they would need for their stay and Bernie flung her clothes off straight away and got under the covers too tired to do anything else at all which made Serena chuckle.

Serena used the bathroom and appeared in her silk pyjamas crawling in next to Bernie and pulling her close. Bernie sighed happily and made herself get up to use the bathroom and opened her suitcase feeling for her pyjamas amongst all her clothes but she couldn't find them. Serena said not to bother as she wanted to go to sleep so Bernie slipped in between the sheets in just her plain black pants and cuddled up in Serena's arms... Serena pulling her close so Bernie's cheek was resting on her chest.

Serena stroked down her bare back with her fingertips and placed kisses in her hair... "Too beautiful....". Bernie blushed and closed her eyes.... once they had rested she couldn't wait to spend time here with Serena and explore... she knew it was just what they needed and just being with Serena anywhere at all made her deliriously happy...


	106. Sunday

It was the next afternoon and they were both still cuddled up in bed suffering from jet lag... Bernie had fallen in and out of sleep for the past few hours whereas Serena had slept straight through but had now woken with a pounding headache and feeling slightly dehydrated.... she moved in closer to Bernie's bare skin and stroked along her side with her fingertips waking Bernie in the process and making her shiver...

They smiled lazily at each other and then when Serena realised what the time was, they chose to order some food from room service and get ready leisurely to explore around the hotel.

"What do you fancy to eat...?" Bernie was looking at the menu sitting on the large bed a while later... now dressed in casual jeans and a long sleeved cotton navy top while Serena was finishing drying her hair. In the end they both chose the pancakes which were delivered shortly to their room piping hot which they were both quite impressed with!

They headed out of the front of the hotel shortly after finishing their food... Serena dressed in dark jeans and a long soft cardigan reaching for Bernie's hand to hold lovingly. After a few seconds of hesitation, Bernie relaxed into it and squeezed Serena's delicate fingers back between her own as they explored around the front gardens and small side streets... 

They sat down together on what looked like a brand new bench they came across and looked round at the view feeling both happy and relaxed. Serena checked her mobile and found an answerphone message from Jason which she listened to and then set about emailing him quickly... apologising to Bernie as she typed a quick message.

Jason had sounded upset as there was a problem with the washing machine at home and he didn't know how to put it right. Serena quickly looked up the details of the man who had usually fixed things round the house for her and emailed Jason straightaway with a kind few lines of reassurance.

"Everything ok...?" Bernie was aware that Serena was sighing heavily and staring at her phone. She explained what was happening with Jason and Bernie pulled her into a loving cuddle... stroking her cheek and planting a gentle kiss in her hair.

They wandered together around a small lake to the left of where they were staying and took in the beautiful trees. It was quiet and there was just the two of them around so they took advantage of the privacy... arms around each other in a comfortable silence for a while...

"Are you ok...?" Bernie reached for Serena's cheek with her thumb and stroked across it delicately...

"Just thinking... you know... about the lump... and Elinor... and how lucky I actually am despite of those things..." Serena smiled at Bernie and she pulled her closer. "Shall we eat in the hotel tonight... we are both tired out... then we can be more adventurous tomorrow?" she wiggled her eyebrows to make Serena laugh, which of course she did.

"I love you so much..." Serena whispered as they stopped to look at various monuments that were dotted about... some by the lake and some on the area of grass between the lake and their hotel.

They stood in peace reading the information on the walls when Bernie asked about Harvard. Serena grinned... "Yes... i'm going to show you round... it was mostly a fabulous time of my life... you will like it.. ". Bernie smiled and nodded... Serena had spoken about her time there with her over dinner a couple of times, both when they were just friends getting closer and when they had started their relationship. Bernie was very impressed that Serena had been to the prestigious college in the States and knew it would be impressive to tour round.

Serena mentioned while they wandered back into the hotel reception that they could perhaps take a tour around it tomorrow and she could also point out some of the places that had meant something to her at that time in her life which Bernie felt honoured about.

When they reached their room, Bernie felt her eyes feel heavy... the plane journey catching up with her. She was aware of Serena talking about her birthday and what she wanted to plan for her but as she was dozing off under the covers she couldn't remember what Serena had said...

They were both far too tired to make it down to the hotel restaurant later so Serena called down for room service again... Bernie stroking along her back distracting her as she was trying to order two meals to be bought up asap!

Serena laughed and patted Bernie's hand away gently while on the hotel phone but Bernie... who was now fully awake... carried on what she was doing but this time kissing along the back of Serena's neck too and sliding her strong arms round her waist. When Serena hung up the call, Bernie pinned her down playfully onto the bed and they ended up kissing slowly... Serena looking into Bernie's dark gorgeous eyes full of love for her.

"Can I check your lump...?" Bernie was quietly asking and Serena nodded, pulling the top of her jeans down as well as her pants so Bernie could see...

Bernie ran her fingertips over it carefully and after inspecting any changes (there weren't any luckily) she pulled Serena's lips to hers in a gentle kiss. "I love you so much Serena...". Serena nodded conveying the same feeling by her eyes but not being able to say the words due to the emotions she was feeling in that particular moment... truth was she was terrified of receiving her results and was trying to not let Bernie see how she felt so they could enjoy their break together.

Bernie wrapped her up in her arms again and held her tightly... "Whatever happens Serena... we'll be ok... we have each other and that's never going to change...". Serena nodded and lay her head on Bernie's chest so she couldn't see the tears trickle down her cheeks...


	107. Monday

It was the next morning and the weather was looking gorgeous for the day... Bernie was up and dressed and waiting for Serena to finish in the bathroom before they were going to head off to tour round Harvard. Bernie was really looking forward to seeing where Serena had spent some of her years in the States studying for her MBA and thought she would be impressed with the university.

Serena appeared looking lovely as always in Bernie's eyes and they shut the door of their room behind them and walked along the bright corridor waiting for the lift. Serena reached for Bernie's hand and squeezed it gently... "It really means a lot to me that you are interested in my past you know". Bernie gave her a quizzical look as if to say 'Why wouldn't I be?'. Serena sighed... "Edward and Robbie... well... they were never bothered about getting to know me properly Bernie... you know.... you actually care about me as a person and that means such a lot".

Bernie smiled shyly at her... "Serena... I want to know every part of you...". Serena grinned sweetly at her... "Every part...?" she raised her right eyebrow flirting with her and Bernie laughed... "Well I think it's safe to say that I already know every part of you... in that way... it's all the other bits... I wasn't around for the first fifty years of your life Serena and that means there is a hell of a lot to catch up on...". Serena leaned in to kiss her cheek lovingly... "I feel the same about you... you know... so much to know...". Bernie grinned back... "Well we have time to cover everything don't we...". They held hands loosely while the lift reached the reception level and then they walked out onto the quiet street into the sunshine.

Serena had done some research online and found they could get a train to the university campus so they walked arm in arm taking in the beautiful sunny day and surroundings while they chatted about Serena's time there in the past. Bernie smiled at her... "Ok... break my heart... how many boyfriends did you have during your time there...?". Serena looked at her and laughed loudly... "Oh you think you know me so well don't you... actually this will surprise you... none!!".

Bernie stared back at her... "Oh... sorry I assumed... well... your an extremely attractive woman... and...". Serena reached for her hand... "I did have the odd kiss... of course I did but I didn't have a 'boyfriend' while I was in the States. Too much of a book worm and really wanted to focus on my career." Bernie shrugged happily and grinned at her thinking this was the absolute best news she had received all day... ok all week!!

They reached the station and found where they needed to go... Serena trying to quickly remember her way round the place... it hadn't changed all that much! Bernie found two empty seats at the back of the train and they sat together looking round at the mix of people they were sharing a carriage with... some obviously students... some going off to work... others older and visiting they guessed.

Bernie was just closing her eyes for a moment to relax when she heard Serena whisper shyly... "There was a girl at Harvard...".

Bernie stopped breathing at once and opened her eyes looking at Serena in shock. "No... nothing happened before you start worrying..." Serena was stroking seductively along Bernie's bare arm with her fingertips and then moving to caress her cheek slowly... "What I mean is... looking back... I liked a girl when I was over here...". Bernie sat up ready to listen to more although if she was honest with herself she really didn't want to hear any more... she wanted to be Serena's only girl... in the past and of course in the future!

Serena whispered to her closely that she didn't know it at the time but now she had thought back and she had found this girl attractive... a friend... she was on campus with. She thought that was perhaps the reason that none of the kisses with boys or 'young men' had progressed further into relationships at the time. 

"So what was this girl like...?" Bernie tried not to sound jealous as she gazed out of the window trying her hardest not to fall apart and for her heart not to hurt...

"She was like you..." Serena laughed... "In looks and mannerisms... that's all you need to know... when you came to Holby you reminded me of her straight away...".

They casually got off the train together at the lively and vibrant campus station and followed the crowd who were all heading for the entrance to go on the various tours available. Serena had booked one for them around the Business school where she had studied... but was also going to show Bernie some of the other parts herself.

Bernie suggested grabbing some coffees while waiting for the tour start time so they headed to a lovely grassy area where there was a tiny outside stall selling hot drinks and snacks. Serena paid for the coffee's and they sat on a nearby bench looking round and relaxing while waiting. "So this girl..." Bernie wasn't going to let it go...

"Mmm?" Serena leaned her head on Bernie's shoulder gently. "Was she pretty...?" Bernie was looking at her intensely waiting for her answer. Serena shook her head firmly... "Nowhere near as pretty as you my dear...". Bernie grinned... "You are just saying that...".

Serena laughed "No i'm not... you are gorgeous and well... the most stunning woman I have ever seen so there you go...". Serena noticed that the tour guide (she guessed) had appeared and was ready to lead them round the campus so they joined the back behind the eager tourists and followed everyone around the campus looking at the various buildings and learning about the history.

Bernie was mightily impressed... Serena had been to this Ivy League College and had chosen her as a life partner... how did she get so lucky as to deserve the brilliant Serena Campbell...

After the tour of the Business school, they both went for lunch at a lovely coffee/gift shop that was brand new and attached to the main building that Serena really couldn't remember. They ate quietly while she asked Bernie about her birthday which was only two days away now and mentioned that she wanted to arrange something special.

Bernie couldn't remember what Serena had already said about her birthday as she had been extremely sleepy and jet lagged at the time but Serena was now talking about the plans she was thinking about anyway... whale watching... they did tours and Serena knew Bernie would love to do that so she was thinking of booking it but wanted to make sure it was what she really wanted to do on her special day...

Bernie beamed brightly and hugged Serena tightly... "I would love that so much... thank you for thinking of something so special". Serena's cheeks flushed pink and she smiled... "Pleasure... my treat for your birthday...".

They toured round some more of the campus and Bernie decided that she wanted to see around the medical school part which she had read was world renowned!

When it got much later on and they had seen everything... they took the short walk back to the station and boarded the quieter train back to their hotel. 

Both were feeling pretty exhausted by now and curled up lazily together on the bed for a rest before planning to go out for dinner later on.

They found a lovely intimate restaurant near the hotel to have a bite to eat a while later. Bernie ordered them some wine and Serena sat happily gazing at her across the table. Bernie looked into her eyes and smiled... "What are you thinking about...? she whispered as they were both still deciding on what to order.

Serena smiled back at her..  "I was just thinking about mum actually... haven't consciously for a while and thinking how much she would have liked you...". Bernie stared at her not really believing what Serena was saying. "Really...?" she spoke shyly and was fidgeting with her fingers underneath the table. 

"Yes... she would have. Not sure how she would have taken the nature of our relationship though..." Serena giggled as the young waitress had now come over to take their orders.

When they were left alone again in peace Bernie wasn't sure whether to carry on the conversation or leave it as Serena was checking her mobile and listening to a new answerphone message from Jason who was just checking in with her.

They enjoyed the food very much and Serena thought the wine was particularly exquisite. Bernie paid their bill and they walked back to the hotel leisurely... loving the peace and quiet... holding hands and relaxing as they chatted quietly between them.

When they got back to the room... Serena offered Bernie a massage which Bernie happily agreed to... Serena gave the best massages. She removed her shirt and silky bra straight away laying down on the sheets while Serena fetched some expensive oil she had bought with her for just this occasion! She poured a small drop into her palm and rubbed her hands together... warming them in the process so not to make Bernie shiver... well she wanted to make Bernie shiver but not from being cold!  

Bernie squirmed under her touch but then relaxed into Serena's careful fingers tracing patterns on her soft back and then moving to rub her muscles making her groan and Serena to get rather flushed and hot quickly...

Bernie suddenly sat up removing her trousers to get even more comfy... Serena waited for her to lay back down before stroking her sides very slowly with her fingertips and placing kisses along Bernie's beautiful shoulders. Serena had always loved her shoulders... in her eyes they were just gorgeous and she could spend all day kissing them if they didn't have other things to do of course! 

She carried on pressing her slightly warm soft lips to the surface of Bernie's cool skin until Bernie grabbed her hand and turned over placing it on her bare left breast and leaning into Serena so she could be held and caressed at the same time by her... 

Serena adored how Bernie liked to be held when they made love and Serena was more than happy to do this... yes Bernie could very happily take the lead and ravish her into next week but she really loved awkward Bernie who really just needed to be held, adored and kissed to prove to her that she was worthy of such love and happiness...


End file.
